#sp butters x cartman
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loolooloo-i-got-some-apples · 2 months ago
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SOUTH PARK BOYS KISSING HEADCANONS
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{ ALL CHARACTERS AGED UP!! }
featuring - the main four stan, kyle, eric, kenny, butters, (craig’s gang is next
warnings: both sfw and nsfw headcanons, fem!reader (if you’d like a male/gn ver, feel free to request!), no nsfw for cartman
a/n: sorry guys this isn’t my best work, but hey first actual post out of the way :)) my apologies to my cartman girlies, i really struggled to write for him
[NSFW CONTENT BELOW CUT]
[STAN MARSH]
SFW
thanks to wendy he’s semi-experienced when it comes to kissing
definitely a big forehead kisser (giving and receiving)
he’d probably throw up after your first kiss
he 100% throws up before you come over because he knows you’ll end up making out
he’ll get a goofy grin when you kiss his cheek
blushing like crazy
will have chapped lips the first few times he kisses you
will start wearing chapstick and chewing mints to make it as enjoyable as possible for you
he tried to remember to bring chapstick after the first time
but he was just so excited
eventually stan told him to put some in his bag and he just left it in there for when he sees you
was so prepared for your first kiss
like
he’s been planning this for weeks
won’t tell anybody you kissed him
but everybody will definitely know
i mean
just look at his goofy grin everytime you’re mentioned or in eyeshot
when he gets used to kissing he’ll start to lick his lips after a make out session
just to get one more taste of you
constant little pecks
“hello” peck
“i love you” peck
“what’s the answer to question B?” peck
“i have to go to the bathroom” peck
you get the gist
he’s the type to smile the whole time you’re kissing
before, during, after he’s got a huge charlie brown grin
NSFW
he’d love to kiss your thighs
seeing as he’s a thigh lover
the type to kiss your forehead mid-fuck
doesn’t matter if he’s going slow or straight up pounding you
you will be receiving many gentle kisses all over your face
he seems like the type of guy to hold your hand while you guys lose your virginities to each other
would probably kiss all of your knuckles
would def kiss you before and after he eats you out
he just wants you to see how good you taste
definitely claims to be freaky and kinky in front of other people but is actually super vanilla
he just wants your body against his and your lips glued together honestly
[KYLE BROFLOVSKI]
SFW
no experience kissing whatsoever
but he read about it
and he figures he’s seen enough kissing in movies and around him to understand the basics
will forget to ask for consent then remember last minute
like
his lips will be just hovering over yours and he’ll get so distracted
then he’ll suddenly just blurt out
“by the way, can i kiss you?”
— he said after starting to lean in already
so into it
will try and slip his tongue in on the first kiss to see what you do
if you roll with it, he’ll just keep going unless you want to stop
if you don’t like it, he probably won’t use tongue until you have to explain that he can
“kyle, if i use tongue you can use tongue, it was just weird for the first kiss”
“what- wait seriously? so we’ve been kissing without tongue for no reason?”
“yeah, dude.”
he wont just blush, his whole face will turn neon red
will start wearing chapstick and chewing mints to make it as enjoyable as possible for you
the type to play with your hair while he slips his tongue down your throat
more of a neck + shoulder kisser, but he’ll melt if you kiss his cheek
you kiss his freckles once and suddenly he’s begging you to do it everytime you cuddle
kisses make him feel so loved
will probably accidentally bump heads when he tries to properly make out with you for the first time
needs a little reassurance here and there, maybe some praise
NSFW
biiiiig titty man
will kiss them all over
big or small, doesn’t matter
he just adores them
his head will be in your neck the whole time you guys lose your virginities to each other (if you’re a virgin, that is)
you’ll leave with hickey’s all over
he’d be so proud of them too
he’ll probably cry after your first time, but he wouldn’t let you see it
[ERIC CARTMAN]
SFW
you’re definitely his first girlfriend but not his first kiss
i’m pretty sure he would have bought a kiss from Butters’ Kissing Company
probably begged his mom to give him the money
he’d be a sloppy kisser
will cry if you nibble his lip too hard
realistically, even though you’re not his first kiss, he’ll still have no idea
and he probably won’t be happy about any criticism
he’s a rough kisser at first
seems like the kind to hold your shoulders
more of a peck guy than a make out session type
but when you do make out he’s definitely confident—although he definitely shouldn’t be
instead of asking if you liked it, will probably assume he carried
“don’t worry, bae, don’t gotta say it, we both know you loved it.”
you chuckle “yeah, i really did.”
“wait seriously? i mean- kewl, duh, obviously. I’m the king of making out.”
— he says as if it’s not his first time making out with a girl before
he’s the type to try and tease you by not using tongue to see your reaction
if he doesn’t get a reaction he will 100% pout
just a big baby in general
he’d never admit that you’re the only one he cares about so much
[KENNY MCCORMICK]
SFW
super experienced in both normal kissing and in full blown making out
he’s experienced in pretty much everything, honestly
his rice purity score is like a -5 considering both his sexual experience and his criminal record
he’d be gentle the first time you guys kiss
he cared about you too much
sloppy kisses when he’s high or drunk
he’s got using tongue down to an art
he’ll gently tease your bottom lip a few minutes into the kiss
and then he’ll slowly get a little more needy and end up whispering against your lips
“wanna open up f’me, princess?”
yes, he calls you princess
or pookie
honestly he’ll just go for whatever gets you blushing, whether that’s out of embarrassment or being flustered
he legit doesn’t care as long as you laugh or smile
anyway when you do part your lips he’s immediately diving in headfirst
will kiss you all over
he’s honestly very loving with his kisses as your relationship progresses
super considerate when it comes to consent
like this man refuses to even make eye contact with you without at least a nod or a yes
okay, maybe an exaggeration
but you get the gist
he’ll kiss you anywhere, anytime
middle of english? his tongue will still be down your throat
lunch? let’s sit behind the school so the teachers can’t catch us
you’re not in the same class but he’s just craving it? you’ll get a notification to go to the janitors closet
sitting with his friends? will kiss you with his all just so they know
he’s
the lucky one there
i’m assuming you’ve caught on
this man will not hesitate to kiss you
he’d probably kiss you just to get you to relax (for my moody girlies—we rise!)
angry? smooch.
sad? smooch.
period cramps getting to you? smooch
super excited? big fat loving smooch
he’ll take any excuse to kiss you, in public or in private, doesn’t matter
NSFW
we all know kenny’s a boob man
he’ll kiss ‘em
he’ll touch ‘em
he’ll make out with you with ‘em in his hands
just wants to kiss you all over
and when i say that i mean all over
he’ll gladly eat you out
he’d call it kitty licks 😭
i mean it when i say this man literally WORSHIPS you
honestly, all in all, he’s so horny
like it’s impossible to put just how horny he is into words
be warned,
he will 2000% get a boner from a peck if you hold eye contact after,
or bite your lip,
or lick your lips,
or you literally exist seeing as he thinks you’re the most gorgeous sexy goddess of a woman to ever walk the earth
[BUTTERS STOTCH]
SFW
he’s experienced with kissing considering his kissing company
just as, if not more, experienced than kenny
he’s so respectful with you
very gentle and loving
he’d act like every kiss is the first
he’ll get so flustered no matter what you do
after your first make out session he’ll probably thank you
“gee, thank you for that sweetie, that was neat-o! you’re real good at kissin’ baby.”
will def have a content smile before after and during
he’d hold you while he kissed your whole face
loves kissing you on your nose
and being kissed right between his eyebrows
he’s the type to kiss your eyelids so every part of you feels loved (🤞 please somebody get that reference)
overall he’s just so loving and gentle with you
NSFW
so can we all agree that butters is a total freak in the sheets?
like he’s the exact opposite of stan
you assume he’s a basic vanilla guy
but really he’s the type to tie you up
he’d never spank you or anything like that
not unless you really wanted him to
the type to refer to sex as love-making
he’ll kiss you a lot during it because he needs you to know that the whole dominant thing is an act
he needs you to know that he adores you and kisses the ground you walk on
back to kissing—
he WILL kiss your ass
literally
like no joke he’s the type to spank you and call you a bitch
then do his little giggle and apologise while kissing it better when it’s all said and done
he’s a huge fan of bathing together—both in a wholesome and not so wholesome way
he just loves how warm it is and how vulnerable you both are
it feels safe for him
that’s when you both give and receive the most kisses, honestly
he mostly gets kissed so often in the bath because he literally BEGS to have your lips on him
kissing is his foreplay and his aftercare, just to put that out there.
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south-park-polls · 28 days ago
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hello everyone please accept this as my apology for disappearing off the face of the earth for a second time <3
NO SHIP HATE IN THE NOTES PLEASE this is meant to be silly
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pikumi-peepee · 2 years ago
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they all got hit w my sillyinator
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snifsnoof · 2 years ago
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mystechaos as lego batjokes quotes!!! back at it with insta requests impish grin
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dollyyss · 1 year ago
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I FELL INLOVE WITH THE KYLE FIC OMG??? OK OK WHAT ABOUT THIS.
the main gang with an S/O that is like, VERY VERY SNUG/TIGHT, like unnaturally tight (but not negatively ;)). Also a virgin, like the biggest virgin out there, completely oblivious to stuff like that and super sensitive to touch in general, talking just a graze of fingertips might gain a small whine. I'm thinking maybe a correct adjective for this would be just the classic virgin reader + the things listed. AAAAA FEEL FREE TO DO THIS DEPENDING ON HOW YOU HAVE ENERGY I KNOW UR SICK😭🙏
-🃏
..sigh you just love to do things to my brain don’t you anon.. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME- NEOCIE IM GONNA GO FERAL RAWR RAWR RAWR jk I’m such a sweet girl, I’m an angel I would never. Tehehe. And I’m sick so I’m an even more touchy just brain melty mood.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Kyle’s gang + butters with virgin reader!
Established relationship ₊ ⊹
All characters are aged up! Highschool AU! ‧₊˚✩彡
Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman and butters 𐙚
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: smut/ NSFW, some degrading
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Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐
“Just like that holy fuck.. you’re so good for me.” Kyle let out a low moan, his head leaned far into his pillow whilst you slowly rode him. “That’s it baby, slowly, don’t look away, keep looking at me, that’s it. Keep watching me baby” his hands held either side of your face in an attempt to keep you with him, to keep you from looking away from him. Your legs shook on either side of his waist, your hands covering your face as you helplessly rutted against Kyle. You practically sucked him in earning groans and whimpers from the lanky gingers lips. “Fuck you’re tight.” He couldn’t hold back anymore, not with the way you gripped so tightly around him, not when he was trying to pull out to slam back in. No you gripped so tight he couldn’t even pull out. It was enough for him to grip onto the sides of your face harder, pulling you down so your forehead rested on his and he snapped his hips up into a ruthless pace.
- He’s a sweet boyfriend. He’s just a sweet guy in general. So when you tell him you’re a virgin he of course would never ever judge you for it.
-what he didn’t know was everything he did could basically make you drip on the spot, and majority of the time it’s shit he doesn’t even think of. He’s sitting with you in a restaurant with Stan and the rest, he softly touches your thigh, opening it to drag you closer to him. He doesn’t think a thing of it until you let out a squeak. Everyone raises their brows, Kyle looking at you when he feels your thighs squeezing his hand. Ahh.. you were sensitive too.
-“have you.. ever touched yourself..?” He asks curiously before feeling you shove his shoulder “Kyle broflovski!” “What? Sorry, I’m sorry. I just. Wanted to know” there was silence before you slowly nodded. He thought for a moment “has anyone else ever touched you?” He questioned again, watching as you shook your head side to side looking at him with big doe eyes. Your hands placed between your thighs. He softly bit his bottom lip, watching your body gently rock back and forth at the thought “do you.. want to be touched?” He slowly scoots closer to you, watching as you slowly lay back on his parents couch, his hands coming to tease the hem of your pants.
-he goes so god damn dumb when you grip him. He doesn’t know how to act. It’s like his brain shuts off and he goes into auto pilot. He’s usually gentle but fuck when he feels you grip so tightly, tight enough that you can feel almost every curve and vein littering his cock, he’s biting your shoulders and slamming into you. He’s swearing, panting. He’s so fuck drunk he doesn’t know what to do.
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Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ
Panting. He’s a panting mess. He tries to form words but he’s so focused on trying to find a deeper angle, trying so desperately to feel you tighten even more then you already were. Your finger nails dig into his raven locks watching as your feet bounce due to your legs being locked around his waist. He was slightly hunched over, his hands on your ass to lift the bottom half of your body off your bed by a couple centimetres, his face buried in your hair while he lets out pleasurable grunts. “Stan!” Your lips spewing his name made him open his watery eyes, lips immediately coming to your ear. “I know, I know. I’m right here.” His hips snap as he slowly sits up, his member pulling out but with a struggle, his tip being the only thing remaining in your gushing warmth. “Can you take some more for me? Hm? Think you could do that?” When he watches you nod he gently takes your legs from his waist and pushes them against your chest, finding himself thrusting deeper at the new angle, your walls clenching so god damn good.
-“virgin? Really.. you? Are a virgin?” He almost doesn’t believe you because to him he can’t see how someone like you could be one. He’d thought everybody would be all over you. But he would admit he was proud to be the one to take it from you. He’s kinda dumb. So he doesn’t catch on. He just thinks you innocence is just, well how you are. But no.. no it’s for many reasons.
-he guides you 100%, you might actually make him a bit nervous because he doesn’t want to ruin this for you. He doesn’t want to take your purity away in such a vile way, he actually wants to make sure it goes exactly how you want. Tell him and he’ll do it. “You’ve got it babe”
-like I said Stan is a little dumb from time to time so he just doesn’t understand why you can’t sit still on his lap. He doesn’t get why your legs are practically shaking and stuttering against him when his large calloused hands come to hold at your hips. Maybe he’s not dumb he’s just, oblivious. He’s noticed that when he sweeps the hair from your neck to the other side you shudder, gripping onto his arm. “Are you? Are you good?”
-when he finds out the reason for it being you were a virgin he kinda.. likes it. He likes that he can be the one to make you act like that, how a single touch from him could have your legs open for him. Of course he takes is time with you. But he does enjoy teasing you from time to time.
-.. the first time you give him a handjob he’s definitely staring at you. He’s on the couch because his parents aren’t home. So what a perfect spot to do so. Your hands pump his cock so well while you partially hide your face, turning it the other way. His arms are resting on the head of the couch, one hand coming to turn your head so close to his you can feel his breath. “Don’t shy away from me..” his eyes are on you, nose pressed to your cheek as you pump him faster, you bottom lip tugged harshly under your teeth.
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Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉
“Mm I think you can take more sweet thing.. shhh I don’t wanna hear another word. You lay and look pretty for me yeah?” Kenny’s pace was torturous as it was; but having him grip onto his headboard, and pushing you further into his sheets was enough to make you clench harder around him. He shivered, his smile growing wide enough to expose the missing tooth on the right side further back. “Kenny please! I can’t do it.. I-i can’t take much more” you pushed at his lower stomach, still your grip around him was hard for him to pull out, pulling out would mean feeling every inch of his cock and that alone was pleasurable enough to send you to your edge. “Awh the poor baby, that’s a shame isn’t it, cuz you are” he was quick to take your jaw in his hands, pounding into you, his other hand pushing down on your shoulder to keep you from squirming. “Fuck I love the way you clench around me, like you don’t want me to leave” he cooed at you. Feeling yours fingers scratch and grip at his sides and lower stomach once more.
-he’s a horndog. So finding out you’re a virgin? “SCORE” he’s jumping over the moon for joy! Really it’s nothing to be so happy about, so giddy, but he’s just more or so happy it gets to be him that shows you everything.
-he’s probably one to tease tremendously until you finally lose your virginity to him. He likes watching you twitch and squirm at every touch he gives, but he makes sure his touches are extra touchy. He’ll walk behind you to grab your chest, when your making out his tongue is tracing your collarbones all the way down to the hem of your underwear. He wants you to feel like it’s about to happen but he’ll keep you waiting just a little longer.
-he’s probably gotten you to hump his leg. I’m not kidding. He was sitting on his bed, watching you walk around a little too tempting for him. He wasn’t exactly ready to do things to you quite yet, and he didn’t want to force you but when you ended up on his floor, sitting on his foot to try and get off. That shit eating grin never left his face. “Where did that pretty little innocence go hm?” “Kenny.. s-stop it’s not funny”
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Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°
“You’re so pathetic.” cartman pulled out, before pushing himself back in further “squeezing and gripping my cock like you don’t want me to stop.” He repeated slowly pulling out before pushing back in. “You go so dumb for my cock you can’t help but clench onto me huh? You silly little thing” who knew Eric cartman was also a teasing little shit even in bed. You. You did. Your hands held onto his shoulders, your feet planted on his bed, knees up and shaking as he worked his way to a somewhat quicker pace. He kept his thrusts short but he was deep. Both due to him and you pulling in him each time he tried to pull back a bit. “Eric, m-mm~” he cocked a brow stopping for a moment before looking at you fully. “Go on, say it, I won’t move until you do” your eyes shot open “mmm- more I want more please” he chuckled gently “you greedy bitch, I’m giving you so much and you want more” he listened though, he gave you what you wanted. He always did in the end.
- “pfft. Fucking virgin” he was too. So don’t let him get to you. Is he going to tell you that? Fuck no. Do you know? Yeah most likely I mean it’s cartman he’s lucky he even landed you. “Cartman shut up. That’s fucking rude and it’s not funny” you crossed your arms. “I’m sorry I’m sorry.. hmm” you shot him a glare. “Cartman.” He placed his fingertips to his lips “it’s just.. a little funny” he pinched his fingers together to make a small gap between his thumb and pointer finger. “I hate you.”
- a fucking tease, like Kenny he uses it to his full fucking advantage. He’ll tease the fuck out of you but just won’t give you want you want. You want him to take your virginity and baby he will. He just wants to get you all pent up, hot and bothered.
-from time to time, when things feel like they’re getting closer, and both of you are practically undressed his tip is teasing at your entrance, slowly circling before he stops for a moment, “hm, I don’t know, I’m feeling a little *yawn* sleepy yknow?” He smirks before laying down on his back watching as you look wet and dumbfounded, legs slowly closing as you sit up. “What the hell Eric..” he looks at you. “You could, suck me off? How does that sound?” You roll your eyes lowering your head at his commend. Don’t worry.. he’ll do it. He just likes to tease you to the very edge, to where you think you’ll get it.
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Butters ˚☆🐈*๑
“P-please I won’t last much longer if y-you keep doing that..” butters stutters his words. He has you in a mating press, his legs surprisingly keeping him up, as he slams back down repeatedly. “I’m sorry baby.. I-i can’t he-help it oh my god~” your hands run through his hair, his head lowered towards yours as his lips try to reach your own. You clenched around him each time he pushed in. And god did he love watching himself pull out to watch you grip, your juices coating his member. And when you were left empty he watched as you pulsate trying desperately to find him. The look of it.. fuck he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help but to give your tight fit exactly what it wanted “ahh~ lord.. I’m so close~” he whispered against your lips. He knew if his parents seen him now he’d be grounded for god knows how long but Jesus you drove him crazy the way you sucked him back in.
-“virgin? Well that’s alright darlin! Me too! We can learn together!” What he doesn’t know is you’ll have him sucked in, he can’t escape. Not that’s it’s bad. But he becomes addicted. Ever since the you told him, all he’s had on his mind is you gripping him so tightly, your warmth and softness. He’s like a rabid little bunny. But he does keep it to himself, he wants to be gentle with you, sweet and attentive the very first time. You both wanna make sure the other is comfortable.
-he finds it cute when he touches you and you practically moan. Because.. he does the same thing. You touch the back of his neck? He’s shuddering and moaning at the way your fingertips softly lingered. He loves when you you lay him down on his bed, lifting his shirt to kiss around his belly button, your lips lingering against his slight bright blonde happy trail. And he does the same to you, his lips tracing every inch of your body until he reaches between your thighs “mmm.. can I?” He asks gently “well I’ve never done this before so if it’s bad.. I’m sorry” he looks up at your with puppy dog eyes, making sure you know he’s just never done this. When you give the okay, he gentle.. but he can’t help himself when he tastes you, he’s immediately got your legs over his shoulders, and he’s making you squirm and scream. He’s very proud of himself. He’s not much of a tease but he tries to when he gets in the mood
“Well don’t you look awfully pretty” he mutters in your ear, watching the blush creep onto your cheek and you squirm in the place you sat. He’s not the greatest at teasing but hey he tries. And he makes sure you both learn one step at a time.
-but once he’s had it once…. There ain’t no going back. He’s like a wild dog off its leash.
Im sick.. and I’m feeling.. in the mood. I love them. I want them.
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hellhoundclown · 2 years ago
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going down to sour patch
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fuqnia · 1 month ago
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SP Main Four + butters !College AU Relationship Headcanons
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[☆] A/N | hii guys! i recently hit 500 likes on tumblr and i'm like so speechless... i never wouldve thought people would be interested in reading my stupid little writing hehe, so tysm! my long fic, most wanted, is coming to a close soon, and I have been working on another longfic that's a fem!reader insert x main 4 boys in college! i'm also probably going to write a more realistic/sadder headcanons, because this one was toothachingly sweet </3
[☆] C/W | NSFW under the cut, this is also for f!reader, but i'm open to writing a gn!reader or m!reader in the future
[☆] check out my !college au headcanons for the boys + butters here!
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☆ stan marsh
hopeless romantic
will definitely do the most cheesy things for you
has a mixtape of songs that remind him of you
writes love letters, but never gives them to you
feels everything deeply, he's a big ol' baby
late night talks about his fears and dreams
craves emotional intimacy and trust w/ you
super duper attentive to your needs
will put you over himself
overthinks
enjoys laid-back dates! like movie dates, thrifting, strolls
gets jealous reallyyy easily
wont outright admit it tho
very insecure, if someone flirts with u, he'll just sulk LOL
avoids confrontations at all costs
not afraid to cry in front of you
vomits on you if you do something really provocative to him
always offer his jacket/hoodie to you
loves holding your hand
laces his fingers thru yours and swings your hands
goofy ah grin when you surprise him with kisses
big on cuddling
gets super flustered when his friends teases him about you
obsessed with your laugh
keeps a picture of you in his wallet
NSFW
sooo nervous during your first time with him
very eager to please!
takes his time learning what you like
kisses every inch of your body
starts with your lips and works his way down
definitely a soft dom
"does this feel good?" "tell me if you want me to stop"
loves holding your hand while in you
eats your p out like your his last meal
i think he would be more into receiving than giving, but doesn't mind giving at all!
gets shy when you compliment him and tell him how good he is making you feel
prefers gentle sex, unless you want it rough
his entire body flushes red when you tease his cock
like palming thru his shorts, or pressing quick kisses to his tip
loves to cum in your mouth
goes crazy if he gets to paint your face tho
i'm sorry but this man is into creampies...
gets turned on when you're really emotional/crying from him pleasuring you
favorite position is definitely cowgirl
definitely an ass man, loves squishing/pinching your skin
kisses your forehead, cheeks and lips after going down on you
i think he would also be kinda quiet, wouldn't let out that many moans
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☆ kyle broflovski
shows his love thru actions rather than words
remembers every anniversary, even the little ones :)
makes detailed itineraries for dates
even though he's a yapper, he definitely enjoys listening to you
fiercely loyal
takes no disrespect towards you
ready to work anyone's shit as so much as they look at you funny
probably would like someone who would challenge him intellectually
needs you to have the same core values as him
DO NOT DO PDA WITH THIS MAN
he will just look at you with pure disgust if you even attempt to...
but will secretly hold hands under the table or sneak a kiss when no one is looking
puts too much pressure on himself to be perfect for you
always notices this little things about you
oh you changed your nail color? you applied your makeup differently?
will blush like crazy when you compliment him
awkwardly rubs the back of his neck
will get irrationally jealous
tries to hide it by cracking sarcastic jokes
writes you long thoughtful texts when your apart, updates you about his day, asks you how yours went
becomes super attentive when your sad or stressed
wraps you in a blanket, makes you tea
i feel like he'd hate the feeling of having a crush
but once he's in a relationship, lowkey a romantic, buy you books he'd think you'd like, jewelry that compliments your skin tone
NSFW
overthinks everything at first
constantly asks "is this okay? are you sure?"
like i said, super attentive, he needs to make sure you're okay
loves eye contact while fucking you
gets really shy when you take control but secretly loves it
prefers slow deliberate strokes and touches
has a thing for neck kisses– both giving and receiving
talks your through it
"you're perfect" "you feel so good"
gets competitive if you tease him about lasting longer
please kiss his freckles... he'll go absolutely feral
not afraid to leave hickeys, scratches or nail prints on you
wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck and his life is yours LOL
i think missionary would be his favorite position
needs to see your face
it's his life mission to make you squirt...
loves fingering you
sit on his face ?
super embarrassed about his moans, but lets it out anyways lmfao
loves your titties, no matter the size
will beg you to let him cum in you
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☆ kenny mccormick
we all know kenny is a natural flirt
will wink, smirk, and use cheesy pick-up lines to make you blush
loves physical affection
always has an arm around your waist
makes you laugh constantly
goes to extreme lengths to see you smile, whether it's his silly pranks or grand gestures
draws little hearts and doodles on your notebooks/texts
if he's super bored, he'll draw on your skin lmfao
super duper protective— he'll walk you home late at night and make sure you're always safe
loves taking you on adventurous dates, especially sneaking into places you're not supposed to be
calls you "babe," "sweetheart," or "princess" with that drawl of his hehe
not above embarrassing himself, will write cringe worthy poems or songs and serenade you
immediately notices when you're a little bit off
pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back
buys you little trinkets and steals snacks from eric, saying, "i saw this and thought of you!"
obsessed with kissing you, he'll lean in for a quick peck and smirks when he notices your smile
immediately goes back in for a longer kiss
i think he's super good at braiding hair, and loves playing with yours!
please wear his band tees <3
NSFW
super duper confident, definitely knows what he's doing
loves teasing you, using soft kisses and touches to drive you crazy before giving in
worships your body, tracing every curve with his lips and hands
like kyle, adores it when you take charge and being at your mercy
whispers dirty things in your ear, his voice low and sultry
"you're so fuckin' beautiful babe, I can't get enough of you."
VOCAL AS FUCK ! he'll groan, sigh, whisper your name, letting you know exactly how good you're making him feel
has a downright pornographic moan....
obviously a boob guy, he'll suck and manhandle your tits like there's no tomorrow
will cop a feel secretly infront of others as well LOL
also a thigh and neck guy—he'll kiss, nip, and mark you like he's marking a claim on you
definitely cums alot.... i'm sorry lmfao
dirty as fuck as well... spits in your mouth, puts his fingers in your mouth, making you suck him
taps his tip against your tongue, smearing his precum all over your lips
a big fan of sloppy toppy, grabbing your hair and face fucking you
he's tew good with his tongue... and so so messy when eating you out
will not hold back with his noises, literally slurping ???
loves loves loves overstimulation
favorite position is mating press, loves looking at where you guys connect
cusses when he cums
will crack some corny joke afterward to make you laugh,
"so... we're pretty good at this, huh?" and giggles like a schoolgirl
loves cuddling afterwards!
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☆ eric cartman
definitely does grand gestures
brags to everyone about being in a relationship
"yeah, she's lucky to have me."
nobody believes that...
hates PDA in theory, but secretly loves it when you grab his hand or kiss his cheek
he'll complain, but his blushing face gives him away
sends you the most random memes and videos throughout the day as his way of saying he's thinking abt you <3
gets ridiculously competitive when it comes to impressing you
if someone else buys you flowers, he'll show up with a bouquet and stuffed animal, screaming profanities at the other person
jealousss to the max
glares daggers at everyone he perceives a threat, coming up with some sick and twisted plan is his head to take 'em down
gets super pouty when you tease him, but loves the banter between the two of you "i'm not fat, i'm big-boned and you know it!"
will absolutely demand you come over to "study", but in reality he just wants to spend time with you hehehe
has a soft spot when you baby him a little
like brushing his hair or adjusting his hoodie, he'll pretend to hate it but he's melting inside
if you're upset, he'll try to cheer you up in his own weird way...
usually a mix of crude jokes and awkward affection ??
please don't cry infront of him, he'll just panic
keeps a picture of you on his phone as his lock screen, and gets super defensive if anyone points it out
"shut up kahl! it's not even a big deal!"
gaslights the hell out of you, but eventually gives in when he realizes you'll just gaslight him back
will bring you up in any and every conversation, and doesn't care if it annoys the fuck out of his friends
proudly shows off your achievements and loudly declare that you're the bestest girlfriend in the world !
until you piss him off...
NSFW
talks a big game about being dominant and kinky
but he's secretly all about soft and sensual moments with you <3
loves loves loves being in control, rarely lets you take the lead
he needs to boost his ego somehow!
will grab your jaw to force you to look at him, his nails pressing hard into your cheeks
"awe, my poor baby is being fucked too dumb, can't even speak properly"
i'm sorry, but this man never shuts up in bed
whether it's dirty talk or low/breathy moans, he's always yapping
really mean too ):
depending on his mood, he'll either take you to pound town, or just veryy lazy sex
gets flustered if you tell him how good he's making you feel, and fails majorly covering it up
"well, duh. i'm amazing."
loves leaving hickeys—he'll mark you in places just barely hidden, so you're always reminded your his.
obsessed with the fat of your ass and tits, doesn't matter the size—he's all about kisses and touches
will 100% lose focus if you whisper in his ear
his cocky demeanor crumbles instantly, and he's completely at your mercy
gets embarrassed easily if you get too emotional, crying and pawing at his chest that you feel too good
this man does not own a single condom... he'll just pull out and paint your stomach
edges you when he's in a particularly bad mood, and only gives in when you're begging
definitely prefers receiving over giving, but likes the feeling of your walls clamping down on his fingers
asks you to stick out your tongue so he can see the load he blew LMFAOO WHY DID I WRITE THIS
i can't decide if he'd prefer doggy style or cowgirl, so ig just depends on his mood?
has a secret stash of candles or mood lighting for when things get "serious"
will deny deny deny it if anyone ever finds out.
his aftercare is surprisingly sweet— he'll tuck you in, grab snacks, and make sure you're comfortable before he starts pretending he doesn't care <3
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☆ butters stotch
is THE definition of doting boyfriend
he'll write you sweet notes and hide them in your bag for you to find later
always asks for your opinion on everything
from what outfit he should wear to what movie the two of you should watch
he just wants to make you happy 😭
blushes like crazy when you compliment him, his hands fidgeting nervously as he stammers out a thank you
will call you every nickname under the sun
"sweet pie," "honeybunch," "cutie patootie"
he's so genuine it's impossible not to grab his cheeks and smile
loves holding hands—it makes him feel safe and connected to you
like stan, he'll swing your arms as you walk, grinning ear to ear
will apologize profusely for the tiniest things, even if it's not his fault
"oh, gosh, i’m sorry! did I step on your toe?"
keeps a running list of all your favorite things so he can surprise you with thoughtful gifts or dates!
if you're upset, he'll bake you cookies or cupcakes and sit with you until you feel better
"it's okay to cry, you know. i'm here."
absolutely adores cuddling, but gets super shy at first
once he's comfortable, he's wrapping you in the coziest of hugs
brings you flowers he picked from the campus quad, tied with a little ribbon
"i hope you like ‘em! i thought they were real purdy."
gets starry-eyed whenever you talk about your dreams or passions
he's your biggest cheerleader and believes you can do anything!
definitely giggles as you try to kiss all over his face
allows you to paint his nails, so you both can match
kisses your scratches/bruises whenever you get hurt, then patches you up himself
takes candid photos of you, so he'll always remember the feeling of moments with you <3
NSFW
don't let this man fool you...
he'll act all nervous and shy at first
he'll blush bright red when you undress in front of him
he'll nervously kiss every inch of your skin, murmuring soft compliments as he goes
he'll shyly ask, "is it okay if i touch you there?"
like he's not about to have you begging for him to keep going
once he realizes how much you're into it, he flips a switch
suddenly his shy little kisses turn into biting your lip
pinning you down
murmuring in a low voice, "i'll take care of you, baby"
he'll start slow, watching you squirm under his touch
but he's secretly enjoying the power of making you lose control
SLEEPER AGENT OF KINK
you think he's all soft neck kisses and hand-holding
then he's tugging your hair, love bites on your shoulder
and growling in your ear, "you like that, don't you?"
his hands, his mouth, and his cock alternate between gentle and rough to keep you on edge <3
the moans he'll let out would be so loud and unrestrained
completely enamored with your body
big fan of overstimulation
thrives on praise
eager to learn as well!!
positions where he can see everything—your expressions, your body, the way you react to his touch—drive him wild
not afraid to try something new!
and when it's all over, he's right back to his soft and sweet self
kissing your forehead and pulling you into his arms like he wasn't doing unspeakable things to you five minutes ago.
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can you still guess who my favorite is... 💀 also i'm so sorry for whatever this was
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up-side-in-side-out · 10 months ago
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You should draw barbarian tweek or one of your favorites from the new game! I love your art so much btw!! It's so cute
You are so sweet, I learned to draw Tweek just for you hahaha!
I also went a little overboard, so enjoy this comic of barbarian Tweek
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Hope you enjoy :-D!!!
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extramurkywater · 21 days ago
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his sad eyes and pitiful demeanour captivates me Fic designs go read OK? OK??
🙈
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southconfessionpark · 1 month ago
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I believe there's two types of people in this fandom; people who call it cartters, and people who call it buttman
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mashairregularity · 1 month ago
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found these at walmart 🥺
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yanndude · 7 months ago
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shopping at 4 am
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parkaplayboy · 1 month ago
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main 4 + butters trying to court you HCs!
warnings: mentions of puking (stan), marijuana mention (stan) all characters are 18+ ! gender neutral reader !
Kenny McCormick
he's a nervous wreck.
when he flirts with people it usually just a one-time fling, nothing serious.
so when you pop into his life, he doesn't know what to do with himself
he's never felt this serious about anyone before
it almost angers him from the absolute chokehold you have this man in.
"I'm fucking Kenny McCormick! The original flirt! So why the hell can't I talk to them"
after every fumble he usually ends up in stan's room to sulk yet again.
stan finds it amusing to see him fumble so often
he tries so, so hard to maintain his usual air of confidence, but every time he talks to you he starts to flounder
"heyyyy, hot stuff.. you.. uh *cough* you come here often?"
it's kind of endearing to see the way he trips over his own feet to come over and talk to you
has actually face planted directly in front of you one more than one occasion
the boys rip on him ENDLESSLY for it.
he may not have much money, but what he lacks in funds he makes up in experience.
he will offer to tag along with you for even the most mundane tasks
"Ken, I'm just going to the hardware store." "What you meant to say is we are just going to the hardware store."
fiddles with the hem of his parka when he gets shy
god forbid you flirt with him. he CANNOT handle it
the poor boy damn near passed out the first time you kissed him.
Stan Marsh
for the most part he's level headed
until you fluster him too much.
the first time you flirted back he projectile vomited all over his own shoes.
he tries to make up for what he lacks in the words department with gifts.
if you smoke weed he will steal some from Randy's farm and give it to you
if that's not your thing, he will buy you trinkets and say "i saw this and thought of you"
he will invite you to band practice and not so subtly "serenade" you
kenny heckles him when he does this.
he will offer to teach you how to play guitar as an excuse to see you
when he finally decides to formally ask you out, it would most likely be when you guys are hanging out 1-1
he doesn't like grand gestures nor the pressure of other people in the room
Kyle Broflovski
hands down the most romantic out of the group
he'll buy you all the cliche romantic gifts
however he's not very good at flirting.. nor receiving compliments. not in person at least.
he gets flustered very easily
HOWEVER ! he found a loop hole :3
he may not be good at words when it comes to being face to face with you, but that doesn't mean he can't write down his thoughts.
which brings me to my next point !
he will leave letters for you to find!
kyle decorated the envelopes like a cliche anime confession note
eric has yet to let him live it down.
he's definitely big on grand gestures!
when he asks you out he'd do it in a romantic spot
the top of the ferris wheel, during your favorite band's concert, etc
he wants to do it big !
Eric Cartman
I hate to say it.
but he becomes more of an asshole than usual
but not in the mean way if that makes sense?
he just generally becomes a grade A nuisance
eric is definitely one of those guys that think teasing = flirting
he's not too big on gifts (besides snacks) but if he does get you something, he will try to make it seem like the smallest deal possible.
"yeah, yeah, whatever, it was on sale. don't cry over it or I'll take it back"
deep down really likes it when you get excited because it makes him feel like he did a good job
circling back to the snacks thing!
he truly views food as the sixth love language
he won't ask you directly, but he will try hard to figure out your favorite foods so he can buy/give them to you
first time he has you over for dinner he begs his mom to make your favorite meal
he sends you memes daily,
it gets to the point where he's basically just sending his entire fyp to you
speaking of which !
when he asks you out, he will use one of those shitty text block memes that say smth like "we should hold hands in the burger king parking lot"
(its also a self protection method because if you said no he could pretend it was just the meme)
Butters Stotch
this boy is too nervous to ask you out, i'm afraid
you will infact have to make the first move
however!
he's such a sweetheart
he will always walk you home
butters will offer his coat to you even if you have your own
"Butters for one, I have my own coat, for two its not even raini-" "You can never be too bundled up!"
like stan, he physically cannot handle affection.
he gets nose bleeds every time he gets flustered because he blushes like a tomato
he has to start carrying around a tiny pack of tissues when you two hang out
you MUST be direct with this man.
he will not pick up on the fact that you're flirting unless you spell it out to him
the first time you flirted with him was when you were hanging out with him and the main four guys.
you said something flirty right before they dropped you off but he didn't have a single clue
"Butters. what the hell was that?!" "Well wh'dya mean, eric?" "Did you seriously not pick up on the fact that they were flirting with you?" "Th-they WHAT??"
~~~~~
a/n: how obvious is it that kenny is my fav...
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dollyyss · 1 year ago
Note
Main four + Butter and how they cuddle…?
Please don’t ever feel pressured to do these on spot <3!!!
Im just— Kyle is heavy on my brain rn. Hhhhggh.. I can’t stop thinking.. about.. him..
Also some of this may of gotten a bit.. nsfwish I apologize.
┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
𝑲𝒀𝑳𝑬𝑺 𝑮𝑨𝑵𝑮 + 𝑩𝑼𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑪𝑼𝑫𝑫𝑳𝑬
𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 ₊ ⊹
𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥! 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐‧₊˚✩彡
𝙆𝙮𝙡𝙚, 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣, 𝙆𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙮, 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨𐙚
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: nsfw
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
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Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐
-Please.. Kyle’s got you in the goddamn honeymoon hug. You’re both facing each other, his arms are wrapped around your middle and yours wrapped around his neck. His legs and yours intertwined.
-He’s such a lover boy I can’t. His nose occasionally will press against yours, the two of you giggling and talking about anything and everything in such a gentle tone. Sometimes a whisper.
-He’ll do this normally, he just wants you close so he can tell you how much he loves you, how warm you are. How much he never wants to get up and could stay like this for hours. Kyle especially does this when it comes to movies. But.. it’s because he’s sleepy. If you’re helping him watch Ike while his parents are out, at some point Ike is put to bed, and Kyle suggests that maybe you two could watch a movie, something to pass the time but he says this as he’s already dragging himself around half asleep so you know what he means. He wants sleep, you can watch the movie. The minute you say yes his tall form is rushing over to the couch, squishing you into it while you both lay down. His back faces the tv, head cradled in your neck while yours rests on his shoulder to turn a movie on. His legs tangle with yours and just like that.. Kyle Broflovski is knocked the fuck out.
- He’s also the type of mother fucker to pull you back in if you try to get up. “No baby, just stay here. Please.” He’s mumbling, pressing kisses to your neck, those kisses turn into soft licks and nipping. His hands roaming more then they were 5 minutes ago. “Ky c’mon I’ll lay down with you, you wanted to cuddle” your ears heat up, fingers gripping his shoulders. He chuckles quietly, his fingers finding their way to your draw string. “M’sorry, I’ll stop.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Kiss?”
-He won’t ever really cuddle in public, but once you’re either at his or yours and studies are out of the way? he’s all over you.
-I may be obsessed with Kyle. Guys. I may.. be obsessed. Did I mention obsessed? I’m obsessed. Come to our wedding ;)
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Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ
-I feel like Stan is a clingy cuddle type. And I mean, someone speaks to you? He’s latched and immediately pulling you into his lap to curl you up so he can rest his head on you, hands rubbing at your legs. Someone’s looking your way? Yup “give me your hand.” He’s gripping it and pulling you into him so he can lean against you, swaying softly while he hides his face on your shoulder or in your hair.
-He’s also the type to cuddle when he’s drunk. “hic hiiii~ you look, so good right now.. hic” he’ll find the comfiest spot to lay you, practically flopping on top of you and mumbling on and on about whatever goes through that dumb brain of his. He’ll pass out sooner or later but before he does make sure to give him a gentle lil kiss to his messy dyed blonde hair, catch him smiling like a dumb idiot with that dopey face, cheeks red and warm
-He tends to come cuddle when he’s had a shit day and his father is just being an actually fucking dick. He’ll sneak into your room, tripping over shit but trying to be as quiet as possible. When he finds your bed he takes his shoes off and slips into the sheets with you, his head popping up between your arms, his hands under your shirt. “Hm?” You wake suddenly not sure who was in the bed at the moment, though the voice was enough to tell you it was Stan. “Hey hey, shh, it’s just me babe” his hand squeezes your side softly. “Just wanted to get away from dad.” He mumbles before feeling you bring him closer to you. Suddenly, he very quickly realized. In that moment. You were his home.
-He’s not horribly crazy about cuddling, you really just have to catch him at the right time. Either you let him come to you or sometimes if you come to him, he’s already ready for you. It really just depends on his day.
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Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉
-If there is ever a time where Kenny has his hands off of you for a long period of time. Something is wrong. So cuddling is a must in your relationship with him.
-Kenny will cuddle anywhere, and I mean anywhere. This could be at school, an outing with his friends, at a restaurant, outside. Literally everywhere. As long as his hands are on you in some type of way he’s content.
-I’m sorry but.. cuddling with Kenny will result in some sort of sexual activity. Unless he’s tired, or.. stoned. If he’s tired, he’s sprawled all over you drooling and getting the best sleep of his god damn life, his arm is sprawled over your chest, his head is half off your shoulder and one leg is hunched up just below your stomach. If he’s stoned he’s got your head on his chest, one arm around your shoulder while the other is behind his head. He’s spewing none sense but.. he’s making you laugh so it’s all that matters to him.
-….cockwarming. Cough.
- “c’mon please?! I promise I won’t do anything” there’s a pause between the two of you “Kenny? Fine but nothing more, I wanna lay down” he’s nodding his head intensely, impatiently waiting for you get under his covers, following you quickly as he watches your slip your pants and underwear off, pushing them to the side. He’s quick to do the same, his tongue out like a panting dog as he slips in, his teeth biting down onto your shoulder as you both let out a pleasurable moan. Kenny’s fingers trace up and down your arms, soothing you. He honest to god probably falls asleep like this, snuggled into your back and whimpering occasionally at any sudden movement. His hand rests at your waist, soft snores leaving his lips.
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Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°
-“Do you want me to die?! Is that what you’re saying right now?! Wow, well fine, I’ll just keep warm with someone else” cartman crosses his arms, watching you cock his brow at him, “cuddle, you mean” he cocks his eyebrow back, “keep warm.” You let out a snicker “righttt, just admit it Cartman you wanna cuddle there’s nothing wrong with that”
-He doesn’t like to admit it but he loves your cuddles. We all know cartman is on the chubbier side so he’s actually really nice to cuddle with, he’s warm, soft, and actually just really relaxing to cuddle up to.
-He won’t really notice it but his hands tend to pull you closer, rubbing your legs, arms, occasionally running his fingers through your hair. Depends on how you lay, but typically you’re at his either of his sides, he tells you nonsense stories until you fall asleep and when you do. He’ll pull out his phone to take a few quick pictures of you, saving it in his folder he has specially for you. Yeah he can be a sweetheart, shut up.
-The only time he’ll ask for genuine cuddles is when he’s sick. He’s a man baby when he’s sick and you can’t change my mind. “Y/nnnnnnnnn” he’ll be so whiny, giving the stupid ass pout to make you do what he asks. You’re sure he’ll ask you for soup which you’d gladly make but when he asks for a cuddle you’re quite surprised. It doesn’t take you long to find your way under his sheets, sitting slightly up right so he can rest against you. Your fingers rummage through his hair, scratching at his scalp and massaging his temples. He really does appreciate it, and he’ll make it up to you. …at some point.
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Butters ˚☆🐈*๑
-Like Stan he’s the clingy cuddling type. But not in like a jealous way just more, he just wants you around him so he’ll cuddle you to keep you there.
-if you two are ever out with friends or even doing something with his parents if he doesn’t have your touch he literally goes insane. He tries to find anyway to touch you, his foot touching your leg, his hand trying to find your hand, trying to move closer to you, literally anything to at least feel you.
-But when he has the chance to have his hands on you he’s a giggling mess. He likes to be the little spoon, he likes feeling you all squished up to his back, your hands around him so his hands can hold yours. He’ll curl up slightly as well, finding any sense of your warmth. If this mf could be in your skin. He would. He just wants you as close as you can get. If he ends up falling asleep, at some point he’s turned around, face squished between your arms that are hugging his head, your body latched around him and he could not be happier with the way he woke up.
-He likes to kiss when cuddling. His hand will be moving your hair out of the way while he presses kisses to your face. At times you hide it from him, shy at the way he just can’t stop pressing kisses to your face. “Aw jeez, don’t hide from me! It’s only a little kiss darlin” he uses his nose to brush against your hands, trying to push them apart because he wants to kiss your lips.
-like Kyle, once you’re cuddling. You’re trapped. He’s not letting you up for anything. Unless you really have to use the bathroom then if that’s the case he feels bad for keeping you locked in his arms. “Oh but please be quick okay! I still want cuddles!”
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kymanismydrugy · 29 days ago
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Kyle only turned full Jersey once he saw his true love, Cartman getting sexually assaulted by Snooki. He saw plenty of his peers, albeit some acquaintances. But I rest my case, he saw it with his own two eyes. And THAT’S when he turned, it’s like it flicked on, like a light switch…
In the episode Wing, when Cartman decided to shoot up the enemies they were facing. When he ran into the bullet spree, Kyle cried out for him, I think he even reached out for him. He did not need to do that, he was the first, (albeit Stan did get concerned a quick seconds later) ….To get worried for him. Kyle cares…He SAYS he hates him with every fiber in his body, but I know that isn’t completely the truth.
In the episode Dead Celebrities, Kyle seemed FAR more concerned in the fact that Cartman didn’t seem all that scared at the fact that there was blood in his underwear, every chance he got he was clinging to that one thing, Ike was being possessed by MJ mind you, and Kyle seemed far less worried about that.
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(Stan doing all the research n shit...Even Kenny's not even paying any attention to their conversation, he's FAR more perplexed by the computer, and eyeing it down.)
“Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants” …Kyle wasted a few of his precious moments - NOT ESCAPING, and saving himself to warn Cartman about Bin Laden, certainly cares about him...If that was me, personally I'd run the fuck outta there... Kyle really didn't share that same sentiment.
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….CISSY. Kyle was the one to snap cartman out of his deranged state, (Although, Cartman snapped right back into it….) and seemed genuinely worried for the guy, asking him if he was alright.
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South Park: The End Of Obesity, oh…THAT SPECIAL. KYLE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU FOOLING?! Stan, STAAAAAN….Your supposed BEST FRIEND, was in a depressive state once, and you ARE NOT OBLIGED to make him better, you are NOT his therapist. But you could’ve been more friendlier? And understand-Whatever, when Cartman seemed genuinely distraught about not being able to get Ozempic, he seemed so hyped up, and energized about it? Told him he needed to have some fucking willpower. And smiled, when Cartman said, okay. HE SPENT WHAT COULD’VE BEEN HIS OFF HOURS, WALKING THROUGH THE AMERICAN HEALTH SYSTEM, SIGNING PLENTY OF PAPERS. FOR THIS DUDE, THAT HE VOWS HE HATES!!! Kyle you’re such a lousy bitch! Hate is far from this!
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WAS THIS EVEN NECESSARY?!!!
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Cartman can follow you, bitch! You probably just wanted to hold his hand!
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fuqnia · 1 month ago
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SP Main Four + butters !College AU Headcanons
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[☆] A/N | hii guys! i recently hit 500 likes on tumblr and i'm like so speechless... i never wouldve thought people would be interested in reading my stupid little writing hehe, so tysm! my long fic, most wanted, is coming to a close soon, and I have been working on another longfic that's a fem!reader insert x main 4 boys in college!
[☆] C/W | slight nsfw in kenny's
[☆] check out my relationship college au headcanons for the boys + butters here! it's sfw and nsfw <3
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☆ stan marsh
environmental science major
i think he would have like around a 2.5 - 2.9 gpa
uses a laptop to take notes
surprisingly has decent notes
gets on wordle, geo guesser, quordle, WAFFLE, during lectures if he gets bored
struggles with hangovers, yet still goes to classes sometimes
i don't think he truly notices how much he drinks... it kinda just happens ?
doesn't mind college parties, will go if his friends want to
kyle usually has to carry him back to their shared dorm when he does go tho LOL
volunteers at the town's animal shelter !!
sometimes eric and butters tag along
visits home like once a month, mostly to see his mom and dog
crimson dawn is still a thing, and stan is sooo dedicated
matches band tees with kenny sometimes <3
keeps up with his college football team religiously
way too emotional about college sports
joins some intramural sports tho!
butters and wendy would come to his games and cheer him on
definitely has late night talks with kyle about "deep" stuff... and kyle is like
"dude, shut the fuck up and go to bed," and throws a pillow at him
i think he would start a vinyl collection
also has succulents, but he forgets to water them hehe
doesn't really use social media
so he gets kyle to send him songs from tiktok for his workout routine LMFAO
sucks at cooking
best procrastinator around
his drunken rendition of mr. brightside went viral after kenny secretly posted it online
"IT WAS ONLYYY A KISS, IT WAS ONLY A KISSSSSS"
very political
argues with the tik tok interviewers on campus
gets kenny to help him bleach his hair
eric bullys tf out of him for it
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☆ kyle broflovski
political science major and on a premed track
4.0 gpa idc this man is a tryhard and fueled on spite
uses an ipad and apple pencil to take notes, uses goodnotes
definitely color codes his notes
i don't think he would actually ask questions in class
but goes to office hours... and that's how professors know his name
obsessed with email etiquette
will actually facetime sharon to show how messy stan's side of the dorm is
will spray stan with a waterbottle to wake him up
"dude... are you serious right now?" "it's 2pm stan."
has a mini ironboard and iron
wears his ushanka on bad hair days
refuses to join study groups
but is butters study buddy
visits home every 2 weeks
and comes back with a ton of leftovers from his mom's cooking
he also mealpreps
whenever his mom calls him, eric takes kyle's phone and starts talking to sheila himself
in bed by 9pm most days
kenny comes knocking on the doors at 9:01 to bug kyle
definitely a coffee snob, and grinds his own beans
has a small box of keepstakes under his bed
also has a small medkit in his dorm, backpack, and gave one to kenny, eric, and butters
jogs every morning before class
terrible at small talk
prolly makes underclassmen cry
sends venmo requests for every shared expense
participates in model un
falls for ragebait online
also chronically online
waters stan's succulents for him
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☆ kenny mccormick
physics major with a minor in women's and gender studies
3.5 gpa
milked the fuck out of his home situation to get a full ride scholarship
uses an old fashion notebook to take notes
sometimes comes to class faded
tries not to make it a habit
also smells like cigarettes, but everyone still wants to sit next to him ?
butters offers him alternatives like gum or lollipops
adrenaline junkie
his favorite class he took is water skiing
but also really likes his minor classes!
volunteers at local events, like community cleanup
thrifted flannels
shares them with stan
the most well known on campus out of the four + butters
loves late night drives
knows all the scenic spots around campus
has a bunch of tattoos littered on his body
kyle definitely mothers him, taking care of his scratch and bruises
horrible sleep schedule thanks to eric screaming in their dorm at 2am
makes quick god-like meals
the underclassmen idolize him for some reason ?
diy king
was hired to be the campus mascot
but was fired for bringing pyrotechnics on the football field
do not ask this man his bodycount
decorated his ottoman, to make it look less suspicious
definitely hides his drugs and alcohol in it
locks out eric from their dorm room and puts a sock on the door handle when he's getting sum
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☆ eric cartman
business administration major with a minor in psychology
2.0 gpa
does not rlly give a fuck abt his classes
gets caught for cheating/plagiarism but somehow manages to never get expelled ?!
runs for his class student body president position, but his campaign is just memes
always scheming for free food, all the clubs know him
doesn't have anything school related in his backpack
loud as fuck in his dorm
"Dude. You’re at, like, an 11 right now. I need you at a 3." "Uh, excuse me? I’m multitasking. This is called strategy, Kenneth. I’m practicing for when I go pro, unlike you and your stupid—whatever it is you’re doing—'The Patriarchy 101' or some crap."
unironically loves the dining hall food
networks on linkedin for some reason ?
listed kyle as a reference on linkedin to piss him off
tiktok famous
atrocious dorm decor
has a cardboard cutout of andrew tate that he loves
runs the school barstool instagram account
reddit mod on the school's subreddit
every few weeks, stan convinces him to set a fitness goal
always fails...
has convinced the entire dorm there’s a ghost, and charged people $10 for ghost hunting tours
once organized a charity on campus to help pregnant students, but pocketed all the money
also ropped butters into it somehow
stole one of stan's succulents
believes he's a karaoke god
records the main four + butters at parties
spends at least an hour in the dorm's bathroom, causing kyle to geek tf out
works as a guide tour for the school, so he could spread misinformation to the tour groups
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☆ leopold 'butters' stotch
either an education, psychology, or business major... i can't decide
3.8 gpa
active in the student government
sometimes reviews eric's cheating cases... way too lenient
accidentally started a cult on campus
started as a wholesome self help club
his advice was so endearing people started treating him like a guru
kenny thinks this is hilarious... kyle tried to stage an intervention but failed
becomes an RA
takes it way too seriously, best informative bulletin boards and door decorations
gets really sad whenever no one shows up to game night
so the main four and craig's gang show up out of pity
sometimes the girls come too!
did study aboard for a semester
returned with an inflated sense of cultural superiority
eric mocks the fuck out of him for it LOL
says howdy! to everyone every morning
academic overachiever
too polite to call out slackers in group projects so he just does most of the work
studies at the campus library at a specific spot next to a window
chews grape flavored gum while studying
started cleaning up trash at parties
color coded planner with stickers and motivational quotes
best hugs... stan is like the only person who hugs him back
sneaks into the football stadium at night to just stand on the grass
goes out for every holiday
plans secret santa for his dorm, makes cookies for finals, decorates his dorm room
his dorm door is always open!
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☆ Group Dyanmics
always does group costumes for halloween
teletubbies one year, fnaf the next
bad movie nights everyweek
annual camping trips
kyle cries about the lack of phone signal
stan always forgets something important, like his tent or sleeping bag
kenny loves telling scary stories, especially to freak out butters
cartman only packs junk food
butters always burns his smores
every year when the snow falls, the go out in the quad to have a snowball fight and random people join in
kenny somehow manages to get the group to join him for his midnight drives
every semester they crash the weekly campus trivia at least once
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can you guess who my favorite is tehehe...
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