#sozza for rambling a bit aaaaaaa

[sluttyspiderkinnie]

Holy shit, not to make things about me just trying to offer my input, but I HAVE ALSO BEEN TRIGGERED BY THE WAY KORVO INTERACTS WITH TERRY. So you are definitely not alone!! I didn't wanna say anything because I was afraid I was exaggerating and being unfair, but reading people say that he's right to yell made me have Bad Times too... I think I appreciate your effort to see their relationship in an unbiased way, even if it hurts a little, I personally can't do it, I kinda hate Korvo. But anyway, don't worry. It really hurts to be reminded of past trauma, I know you're doing your best, and you're a lovely person.

Having feelings wouldn't make you any less of a qualified clinician, if anything, being able to empathize with the people you'll work with will be a strength. You're human, of course you'll have feelings, and issues and illnesses, but they don't discredit your abilities. You can do this, you've done this before. You're not alone!

aaaaaaa *oprah voice* you’re valid and I’m valid and we’re all valid!!!!!!

I’ve ice dived six times so I’ve calmed down a lot enough that I’m not currently splitting so I can respond more levelheadedly. I think a lot of the things Korvo is mad/frustrated about are valid but it’s the way he communicates them that’s really hostile and inappropriate. lol last week my roommate who I have never once bothered when he did something to upset or irritate me screamed at me bc of his inability to effectively communicate things and I cried and panicked so hard I puked. And then I started cleaning the apartment even harder!! He gave me a shitty non apology days later and I called him out and stood up for myself but using dbt effective communication skills and was very level. And I realized that once again I had set the pattern that I’d just go with what someone wanted and they could basically dominate with little to no regard over what I wanted or my feelings because 1. I didn’t want conflict and 2. It was someone I liked. This is what Terry does. I hate seeing Terry do this stuff because like, yeah I know it’s wrong and hurts me when I do it but seeing anything and anyone I love doing that is so much more painful. I want him to please fucking stop because I’ve also talked about how I don’t think Korvo can read cues so unclear communication is gonna go right over his damn head. But I also think Korvo’s being (or at least trying to be) better about communicating and genuinely trying and I hope we get to see more of that progress. I love Korvo even if I don’t always like him (which is true for like.....literally everybody media or irl ppl in my life) and part of my love language is holding people/aliens I love accountable for when they behave inappropriately.

It took me a very long time to even be able to think this way, I can totally say a year ago I would’ve just villainized Korvo because coping w PTSD and trauma and I know that. So I get where you’re coming from and where it sounds like mentally you’re at and understand. I also understand if your opinions don’t change because everyone is entitled to their opinions and I also get that if you’ve been triggered and been through trauma it is a whole different thing.

Fr tho you are so kind and sweet to say the nice things you did to me to validate me abt me being a clinician and I appreciate it and you so so so much. I hope this ask wasn’t too rambly 🥺💗