#sources: tictoc and vine compilations on YouTube and my head

[melodiouswhite]

Classic literature vine compilation - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pt. 08

Utterson: *holds up a crucifix* Henry Jekyll! 

Hyde: Henry Jekyll is no more! 

Utterson: Edward Hyde! 

Hyde: Yeeessssss. 

Poole: That's not good, that's not good! 

Hyde: Gabe, you fool! 

Utterson: I say unto thee: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! 

Hyde: Oh does it? Does it compel me? 

Utterson: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! 

Hyde: Does it, Gabe? 

Utterson: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! 

Hyde: Is the power of Christ compelling me, is that what's happening? 

Utterson, on the verge of tears: THE POWER OF CHRIST … COMPELS YOU!!! 

Hyde: *evil laughter* Guess what? It's not that compelling!

---

Jekyll: *singing* Don't tell your mother- 

Hyde: *singing* Kiss one another- 

Jekyll: *singing DIE FOR EACH OTHER-

---

Jekyll: Please, God! Just let me have one good day! 

God: Oh my me, you again? Give it a rest, buddy!

---

Utterson, holding Lanyon hostage: YOU'LL NEVER HAVE HIM! 

Jekyll: AND WHY IS THAT? 

Utterson: Because I love you. 

Jekyll: *blushes* 

Utterson: *carries him off* 

Lanyon: I just can't even-! :D

---

Hyde: Lucy, you honestly look so pretty today- 

Lucy: PRETTY?! *grabs a knife* BITCH, ARE YOU CRAZY, I'M BEAUTIFUL, HOW DARE YOU CALL ME JUST PRETTY?! 

Hyde: O_O *backs away*

---

Utterson: You're gonna tell me everything right now. 

Jekyll: No. 

Utterson: Please. 

Jekyll: No. 

Utterson: Please. 

Jekyll: No. 

Utterson: Please. 

Jekyll: No. 

Utterson: Please. 

Jekyll: No

---

Hyde: *sitting at the piano* This song is called "What I want for Christmas".

Hyde: *plays one accord* Money. :3

---

Utterson: *picks up the phone* Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognised talent. Please start after the- 

Utterson: *sings an opera aria, because he can*

---

Lanyon: Hey! Hey! 

Utterson: Shhh! *whispering* Henry is sleeping. 

Lanyon: *whispering* Sorry. 

Utterson: *still whispering* What is it? 

Lanyon: *still whispering* There's a fire!

---

Lady Summers, giving a yoga lesson: And release all the sounds that are trapped in your mind- 

Jekyll: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 

Utterson: … 

Lanyon: … 

Hyde, inside Jekyll's head: … 

Lady Summers: Dr. Jekyll? Are you okay? 

Jekyll: I'm a little messed up.

---

Hyde: DO IT! 

Jekyll: NOOO! 

Hyde: MAKE- 

Jekyll: WHY?! 

Hyde: -YOUR DREAMS- 

Jekyll: PLEASE, NO!!! 

Hyde: -COME TRUE!!! 

Jekyll: NO!!! 

Hyde: JUST- 

Jekyll: NO! 

Hyde: -DO IT!!!! 

Jekyll: NOOOOOOO!!!

---

Utterson: Edward, what are you doing, lining shelves on a Friday night? 

Hyde: I'm working off all my excess sexual energy! 

Utterson: Why don't we just hook you up to the gas stove and make popcorn?

---

Lucy, to Jekyll, Alma and Lady Summers: Well, I'm just looking into alternatives, you know, hospitals have a rigid way of doing things … 

*someone screams in the background, everyone winces* 

Lucy: Why is she screaming?! 

Lady Summers: *deadpan* She's conscious. 

*more screaming* 

Lucy: I just want this to be an experience I'll never forget- 

*particularly high-pitched screaming* 

Nurse: *bursts in* You're in luck! You're about to see one of our deliveries! 

Jekyll: W-we don't need the whole tour. 

---

Enfield: Oh please, Utterson, she wants me to travel to Windsor with her! 

Utterson: To Windsor? Well, I suppose you do have to celebrate doing so well this afternoon, so what the heck, go off!  

Enfield: *squeals* AWW, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND! I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER! 

Utterson: Oh, I'm so happy things are going so well for him! Practically accepted into Oxford University, now he's going off to Windsor with his American ladyfriend! *starts to chop vegetables for dinner* 

Jekyll: *hesitantly* … Uh, Gabriel, this trip to Windsor … it is not with the American. 

Utterson: *stops chopping* What do you mean? 

Lanyon: Kid's a slut. *sips his tea* 

---

Utterson, on the phone: Do you happen to have any bandaids for when I get there? 

Jekyll, on the other end of the line: Why? 

Utterson: Because I scraped my knee pretty badly, when I fell for you. 

Jekyll: Awww!  

Utterson: It's a good kind of clumsy. ^^

---

Alma: Good evening, kind sister! Ü 

Lady Summers: What's up, my little gold digger?

---

Luise: *texting her 70yo father* Rofl. 

Her father: *texting back* Lshidmtamsfo. 

Luise: Do you know what that means? 

Her father: Laughing so hard I dropped my taco and my sombrero fell off. BOOM. 

Luise: Best. Dad. Ever. 

---

Lanyon: Father, I just saw one of those ugly arse clowns on the street. 

Mr. Lanyon: What's a mirror doing out on the street?

---

Utterson: My mother said I was an angel and that I was born to be a star. It was embarrassing. And you? 

Lady Summers: My parents said I was a miracle, every time they introduced me to someone. It was very awkward. 

Lanyon & Jekyll: … 

Lanyon: My parents said I was ugly, a fussy little worm, a freak and a bore. 

Jekyll: My father said I was worth- and useless, a terrible person and a waste of space. My mother said I was a spawn of Satan and that I should be exorcised. 

Utterson & Lady Summers: … 

Utterson: I'm so sorry. 

Lady Summers: Same here. 

---

Utterson: Henry, ask me what kind of tree that is. 

Jekyll: No. 

Utterson: Henry, ask me what kind of tree that is. 

Jekyll: No. 

Utterson: Just … Henry, ask me what kind of tree that is. 

Jekyll: N- 

Utterson: It's a chris pine. Ü

---

Poole, about Jekyll and Hyde: And they were roommates. 

Utterson: Oh my God, they were roommates!

---

Hyde: *tramples a little girl* 

Enfield: *grabs him* Sir, your vibes are disgusting and I need you to STOP.

---

Jekyll: YOU WILL GO? 

Hyde: I WILL SWING! 

Jekyll: YOU'LL SWING? 

Hyde: I WILL SWING!!! 

Jekyll: BET YOU WON'T SWING!!! 

Hyde: I WILL SWING!!! 

*later* 

Hyde: *swings at the swing set* I told you! 

Jekyll: Whatever. >:(

---

Lanyon: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of the items you have lost throughout your life. 

Poole: It WOULD be nice to get my sense of purpose back. 

Lady Summers: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. 

Utterson: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! 

Jekyll: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in years! 

Hyde: Mental stability, my old friend! 

Lanyon: Guys, could you lighten up a little? 

---

Jekyll: Sorry, Hastie, but I can't believe that you have ever read an art journal. 

Lanyon: Believe whatever you want, see if I care! >:/ 

Lanyon: *stands up, leaves* Hypersexual bitch.

---

Utterson: *sweetly* Time to wake up! You gotta get up! <3 

Jekyll: NOOOOOOOOOOOO-

---

Lady Summers: How did you take down Doria Gray? 

Hyde: I beat him to death, because he gave his soul for agelessness, not immortality and he's a twit. 

Lady Summers: True. That and an ugly bastard. 

---

Hyde: Just me and Aoi hanging out! Ü 

Aoimoku: *turns invisible* >:) 

*Lanyon, Utterson and Hyde having tea* 

Aoimoku: *comes in, head still invisible* 

Lanyon: *screams in fear* 

Utterson: *screams, because Lanyon is screaming* 

Hyde & Aoimoku: >:)

---

Jekyll: How was your first dinner party? 

Hyde: AAAARRRGH!!! I! HATE! EVERYBODY!!! 

Hyde: *cries under the shower* 

---

Lanyon, from the end of the hallway: You're stupid! 

Jekyll: Bet you won't say it to my face!

Lanyon, to his face: Stupid! 

Jekyll: Bet you won't say it on Snapchat! 

Lanyon: Stupid! 

Jekyll: Bet you won't say it at our sugery! 

Lanyon: *hands him a note that says 'stupid'* 

Jekyll: … Alright. 

---

*Take#2* 

Lanyon, from the other end of the room: You're stupid! 

Jekyll: Bet you won't say it to my face! 

Lanyon, to his face: Stupid! 

Jekyll: Bet you won't say it in the shower! 

Lanyon: *poking his head into the shower* Stupid! 

Jekyll: Bet you won't say it in Braille! 

Lanyon: *hands him a note in Braille* 

Hyde: It says 'stupid'. 

Jekyll: … Alright. 

---

Hyde: *falls from the ceiling* 

Hyde: Hey, Gabe!  

Utterson: Hey, Eddie. Ü

---

Enfield: How does it feel to be the worst man ever, huh? 

Hyde: Shut up, your mother buys you Megabloks instead of Legos! 

Enfield: You fucking take that back, you- 

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Classic literature vine compilation - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pt. 07

Hyde: Before I was moving, I was going to give each one you a gift, but I want you to have them anyway. *Hands out presents* 

Utterson: Why, Hyde, how sweet! 

Lanyon: Oh, boy, you shouldn't have! :D 

Jekyll: *unpacks his present* Oh, Edward, this is so lovely and so familiar! *holds up a grey bowler* This is mine! I thought the hatter lost it! 

Hyde: I told you he lost it! I took it, I needed something to go with my blue jacket!

Lanyon: *opens his own present* This is MY blue jacket! 

Hyde: I know! It goes great with- 

Utterson: *flatly* -My gold watch. 

Hyde: Well, enjoy and be healthy! *runs off* 

Lanyon: I wonder, if he's seen my cane with the ivory handle. 

Utterson: You know, I haven't been able to find my silver locket. 

Jekyll: *stands up* Come on, I think it's time to search his flat again. 

---

Fruit Seller: You're crazy! This nectarine is beautiful, I never saw a more perfect piece of fruit! 

Alma: No? Then try kissing my behind!

---

Jekyll: His love of life is so wonderful! 

Hyde: No, it's not, you're just fucking suicidal. 

---

Alma: What an ordeal this ride was, I can't imagine anything more terrifying! 

Sameer: *holds a silver plate to her face* Booga, booga, booga. -_- 

Alma: … 

Lady Summers: *sighs*

---

Lanyon: I can't sleep and it can't be the coffee, because all I drink here is decaf! … Right? 

Sameer: *innocently* Of course! Ü 

Sameer: Why don't I bring a nice soda in to pick you up? 

Lanyon: … *suspiciously* Alright, but make sure it's caffeine-free! 

Sameer: Of course! Ü *takes out the normal Soda, as soon as Lanyon is gone*

---

Poole, to the ceiling: *exasperated* Oh God, is there a bigger buffoon in this world?! 

Hyde: *Bursts in* I came here as fast as I could! 

Poole: …

---

Young!Jekyll: So, tell me, Hastie: what did you do to kill the day, before I came along? 

Young!Lanyon: Well, truth be told, my life was a little empty. *smirks* But now I have a hobby! 

Jekyll: *stands up* I loathe you. 

Lanyon: *stands up* I despise you. 

Jekyll: Prude. 

Lanyon: Philanderer. 

Jekyll: Ginger. 

Lanyon: Himbo. 

Jekyll & Lanyon: *angry kissing*

---

Jekyll, to Utterson: You have the right to remain sexy!  

Utterson: … 

Jekyll: Anything you say can and WILL make me bust a nut! 

Utterson: O.o

---

Hyde: Hey there, demons! It's me, ya boy!

---

Jekyll: Hey there, little guy, I'm your dad! 

Hyde: I gotta be ugly. -_- 

Jekyll: What? 

Hyde: Bring me a mirror. 

Jekyll: *points him to the one in the corner* 

Hyde: Now take it away, goddamn. -_-

---

Lady Summers: Good morning, cruel world. 

Jekyll: Don't you mean 'Goodbye'? 

Lady Summers: No, I meant 'Good morning'. This world may be cruel, but I'm still kicking. 

Jekyll: … Oh. *admiration intensifies*

---

Lady Summers: You get one on your knee from “tripping” and now this?!

Alma: Luise, for the last time, this is not a hickey! *points at her bruised elbow*

---

Hyde: *is fighting with some random guy*

Alma: *jumps to his aid* I’ve got this, bro!

Alma, to the guy: This is why your sister is gonna die of consumption! D:<

Guy: *starts to cry*

Hyde: O_O

---

Utterson: There is nothing that can make me really angry. 

Someone: Your mother is a slut. 

Utterson: *pulls out a gun* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY????

---

Hyde: Owo, owo, owo, owo, owo- 

Jekyll: *holds a gun to his head* 

Hyde: What are you doing?! 

Jekyll: I'm taking myself hostage. Now stop that or I'll shoot myself.

---

Some rando: *insults Lady Summers* 

Lady Summers: *superior chill of superiority* 

Rando: *insults her loved ones* 

Lady Summers: Perish.

---

Hyde, in a blanket: I no longer wish to adult. From now on I shall remain a cozy burrito. If you need me, I will be in my fluff top here.

---

Utterson: *singing* Making my way back home, been a long day, time to see my-

Hyde: *comes running down the stairs* 

Utterson: *singing* -fluffy dog, lalalala! 

Hyde: *trips and rolls down the rest of the stairs*

---

Jekyll: For so many years, I thought that something was wrong with me, that I was the black sheep, and I needed to change my personality. 

Jekyll: And after a long time of consideration, I realised, who I was. 

Jekyll: I'm a piece of shit. Ü

---

Utterson, singing along to the radio: WHAT ABOUT US? 

Jekyll: *bursts in to sing along* 

Both: *singing* WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH? 

Utterson: *singing* WHAT ABOUT TRUST? 

Jekyll: *singing* YOU KNOW I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOUUUU! 

Utterson: *singing* AND WHAT ABOUT MEEEE? 

Lanyon: *snickering and filming in the background

---

Hyde on 1st November: *throws the Halloween decoration out and starts to decorate for Christmas*

---

Lady Summers, to Lanyon: Read the opposite of these words out loud. *points at a whiteboard* 

Lanyon: What do you mean, the oppsite? 

Lady Summers: Never … 

Lanyon: Going. 

Lady Summers: Yes. 

Lanyon: To. 

Lady Summers: Yes. 

Lanyon: Give … you … up. 

Lady Summers: *singing* NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UUUP- 

Lanyon: *laughs*

---

*different types of people shopping* 

Edwina: *the cart rider* 

Lady Summers: *the one who gets hella crisps* 

Lanyon: *the mum said "put it back" - throw* 

Jekyll: *the one who puts it in a random spot*

---

Jekyll: Do you ever wake up and just think: Wow. What a beautiful day to be alive. 

Jekyll: Just kidding. Fuck my life.

---

Lady Summers: These are three life facts you need to know. 

Lady Summers: Number one: If you want to have a conversation with your friend, you need to talk. Talking is when words come out of your mouth. 

Lady Summers: Number two: If you don't smell good and you want to smell good, you need to shower. Showering is the only way to clean your body. 

Lady Summers: Number three: If you want to brush your teeth, but only have a little bit of tooth paste left, run over the tube with your car and then throw it into the rubbish. Then go to the store and buy a brand new tube of tooth paste. Now it'll be so much easier to brush your teeth.

---

Lanyon: *singing* I used to be so fucking ugly, now look at me- 

Lanyon: *singing* -I'm still really fucking ugly, it's clear to see- 

Everyone else: LANYON, NO!!!!

---

Young Jekyll, when Lanyon calls himself ugly: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PUT ON YOUR BLOODY SUN GLASSES, BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO SEE THE AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT COMING FROM YOU!!! 

Young Lanyon: …

---

Jekyll's mother: A little birdie told me, that you don't respect the sanctity of marriage. Is that true, you spawn of Satan?! You spawn of POSSESSION?! I BANISH THEE TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL! BEGONE, SATAN!!! *throws a book at Jekyll* 

Young Jekyll: *runs away*

---

Jekyll: It all started, when my parents' increasingly high expectations met my crippling internalised fear of failure. Then they met my nature. Then the declining economy and impending recession met my college education. And they'd meet my student debt. Then my student debt met my mental health problem. And they made insomnia. Then this morning my insomnia met four cups of coffee. Ü

Jekyll: Hi. My name is Henry and I'm about to shit my inexpressibles. ^^

---

Utterson, if he was bi: If you're a woman, you might want to keep scrolling, unless you want to get a lady boner. In three … two … one … 

Utterson: *proceeds to wash dishes, cook dinner and clean the house* 

Edwina: … I'm suddenly sad that you're married.

---

Young Lady Summers, to her father: I'm going out for lunch today. ^^ 

Margrave Alexander v.H.(her father): Are you going somewhere? 

Lady Summers: A-a rendezvous … o///o 

M.A.: This is an emergency! Alright … take this. *holds up his swordcane* 

Lady Summers: Papa?! e_o 

M.A.: Oh, sorry. Would this work better? ^^ *holds up his hunting rifle* 

Lady Summers: No! That's not necessary! 

M.A.: No, no. I'll be going, too! Ü 

Lady Summers: YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME!!! Q_Q

---

*Types of kids in class* 

Alma: *kid always sleeping* 

Lady Summers: *the kid in a wheelchair* 

Hyde: *the creeper* 

Lanyon: *the heartbroken guy* 

Utterson: *the girl in love* 

Jekyll: *the depressed kid*