#sour quartz ~ [ YD Gem Steven rps ]

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YD Gem Steven looked over toward Yellow when she offered. "I mean if it gives you peace of mind to make sure that I'm ok, even though I feel fine right now. I guess I won't make a big stink about it." He replied, shifting his hand to pull his shirt collar down to expose his gemstone.

His gemstone was in a different orientation, looking as if it was rotated slightly about 90 degrees so it looked as if it were a different cut of gem that sported the same square cut. It was perfect golden hue with no cracks in sight.

"So what's the verdict?" YD Gem Steven asked looking over with his yellow diamond eyes with a hint of concern to his gaze.

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YD Gem Steven moved to get his face out of the and spitting a mouthful of sand out, and blinking a bit to get it out of his eyes. He cleared his throat, and looked over. “Mmm yea, just being… clumsy.” He turned away to check his gemstone, since Yellow Pearl probably wouldn’t have wanted to see it. He paused, “Ok. I can’t see if my Gem is cracked… but I feel fine… so I think I’m ok…” He replied, covering it back up with his shirt.

“Oh…” Somehow that was not the answer she had expected, then again she hadn’t expected any of this to begin with. Yellow tilted her head when Steven turned away clearly checking on his gem not being sure why he would hide it from her. It wasn’t like she didn’t know what gem he had so it wouldn’t be shocking her. 

“I can check if you want me too” the Pearl offered, knowing seeing her former owner’s gem would probably bring back so memories. Or at least set memories back in the place where they belonged, as her mind had been quite scrambled ever since she had been brought back. Apparently that was quite normal for gems that had been trapped like her and would clear up over time. 

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Tag dump

I'll post some refs for them later.

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YD Gem Steven moved to get his face out of the and spitting a mouthful of sand out, and blinking a bit to get it out of his eyes. He cleared his throat, and looked over. "Mmm yea, just being... clumsy." He turned away to check his gemstone, since Yellow Pearl probably wouldn't have wanted to see it. He paused, "Ok. I can't see if my Gem is cracked... but I feel fine... so I think I'm ok..." He replied, covering it back up with his shirt.

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YD Gem Steven looked toward the stars. He could agree with her not being good with her emotions considering the events of last year, but he wasn’t one to talk either, holding the trauma of his creation closer than the gem in his chest.

YD Gem Steven practically jumped to his feet excited to head into town regardless of how late it might have been the town still had some lights on, so they weren’t closed yet, and probably wouldn’t close the door on one of Earth’s saviors.

YD Gem Steven walked with Yellow Pearl showing her the places to eat, the places to get little novelty t-shirts, he was excitedly showing her the arcade explain that his favorite game was “Punch Buddy.” But was in disrepair since since he had taken some aggression out on them. YD Gem Steven continued walking before Mr. Smiley would kick them out since technically he was kinda banned for life, but sometimes Mr. Smiley didn’t remember all that well since well he’s over worked.

YD Gem Steven paused to figure out where that music was coming from only to hear that Yellow Pearl was humming? He smiled back seeing that she was doing a lot better than before, he might have been staring for a little longer than was normal, but he was just enjoying her humming as they walked, only for him to walk straight into a bench and slamming his face right into the sand.

While Yellow was far from being calm, she was doing better now, humming had always helped her not spiral. It gave the Pearl something to focus on without completely tuning things out around her. Normally only doing it when she was alone, but at times she started doing so without even noticing, especially when there was music playing. 

Surprisingly, the Pearl did enjoy being in town, even though she clearly wasn’t comfortable being in crowded places. Which was why she was glad when they started to walk away from town as it got later walking back towards the beach. By now Yellow was very aware that she was humming but didn’t want to stop, doing that was leagues better than letting her powers act up. 

Looking around as they walked until she heard Steven walking into something managing to just look to the side and see him face planting into the sand. “Steven!” rushing over to the other offering him a hand if he needed it. “Are you alright?” had she distracted him with her humming? She wondered, not being sure about that fact. 

“What happened?” 

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YD Gem Steven looked toward the stars. He could agree with her not being good with her emotions considering the events of last year, but he wasn't one to talk either, holding the trauma of his creation closer than the gem in his chest.

YD Gem Steven practically jumped to his feet excited to head into town regardless of how late it might have been the town still had some lights on, so they weren't closed yet, and probably wouldn't close the door on one of Earth's saviors.

YD Gem Steven walked with Yellow Pearl showing her the places to eat, the places to get little novelty t-shirts, he was excitedly showing her the arcade explain that his favorite game was "Punch Buddy." But was in disrepair since since he had taken some aggression out on them. YD Gem Steven continued walking before Mr. Smiley would kick them out since technically he was kinda banned for life, but sometimes Mr. Smiley didn't remember all that well since well he's over worked.

YD Gem Steven paused to figure out where that music was coming from only to hear that Yellow Pearl was humming? He smiled back seeing that she was doing a lot better than before, he might have been staring for a little longer than was normal, but he was just enjoying her humming as they walked, only for him to walk straight into a bench and slamming his face right into the sand.

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YD Gem Steven looked over with a tilt of his head in confusion. She had the capability to be nice? He didn’t buy it, not one bit. Rose had told him about how his mother was with her… how she would abuse her, talk down to her… what made Rose a lesser Diamond than his mother… why was she nice to him?

He shook his head shaking off the other thoughts, he can ask about those later, right now he was focused on Pearl. “Well, it’s not necessarily healthy to ignore your own feelings just because you don’t wanna deal with them.. I mean that’s what I did, and neither of us were happier for it.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe I can show you around town… maybe you could try and sample some Earth cuisine. Who knows maybe you’d find a new hobby you’d like.”

“I know… I’m just not good with them” emotions were not her strong suite in the slightest. They had never been, Yellow didn’t know if that had been by design or if she just had picked that up over the years with her Diamond. She could remember times when she had been more open and friendly, but those had been long ago. 

Looking back at the stars as she contemplated his offer, a part of her wanted to refuse. But after a bit of thinking, knowing that she had nowhere else to be or go anyway, Yellow let out a sigh. “Sure, that sounds nice” or at least it sounded better than being left alone with her own thoughts again. 

Getting up and walking with the other, the Pearl looking around as the got into town. Even though she had been here for a year Yellow had no really been in town before, she had wandered away before but always stayed away from people and the town. She didn’t like how people looked at her, feeling like she was being judged, even tho in reality people probably didn’t care about her at all. 

Just walking around for a while looking at the things she was shown, at one point them walking past a place that had music playing. There was not much too it but after they had gotten past the Pearl started to hum a song softly not even realizing that she was doing so. 

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YD Gem Steven looked over with a tilt of his head in confusion. She had the capability to be nice? He didn't buy it, not one bit. Rose had told him about how his mother was with her... how she would abuse her, talk down to her... what made Rose a lesser Diamond than his mother... why was she nice to him?

He shook his head shaking off the other thoughts, he can ask about those later, right now he was focused on Pearl. "Well, it's not necessarily healthy to ignore your own feelings just because you don't wanna deal with them.. I mean that's what I did, and neither of us were happier for it." He cleared his throat. "Maybe I can show you around town... maybe you could try and sample some Earth cuisine. Who knows maybe you'd find a new hobby you'd like."

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YD Gem Steven blinked, looking over seeing Yellow Pearl sobbing again. A year full of tears had gotten him use to the sight, but it never made it easier on him to listen to, it never was nice to see her cry.

Once she had managed to calm down enough to speak, he looked over, he spoke with a firm tone, “Yellow, it wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do. None of this was your fault. All of this…” He gestured with his hands despite the fact that Yellow Pearl was facing away from him still, “is and well always be my mother’s fault.” He continued getting louder since it was making him furious. “ALL OF IT. From the moment she abandoned you, from her choice to create the cluster, not to mention her terrible taste in the one fuckwad she choose to have a kid with.” His fists clenched, the sound of crackling thunder could be heard behind her.

YD Gem Steven snarled in a bitter rage, before it subsided as well as the threatening noise of his powers and he somberly added, “I’m sorry I don’t have the answers you want, I’m sorry I’m not her.” His thoughts were stuck on those moments of the past, it was stupid for him to get hung up on the past while telling someone to just move on with their life… he felt like a hypocrite. He shook his head and got closer to her, before finally sitting next to her.

YD Gem Steven looked at the stars above, it was a beautiful night it was calming just enjoying the stars but he wasn’t going to let himself get distracted. “Yellow, I came out here tonight to find you. I haven’t been the best person to you. l actively ignored you, pushed your feelings aside for my own comfort and that was selfish. If my mom did that with you, than I really am no better than she is… I don’t want you to just leave, it won’t give me any peace of mind.” He looked over, “But it doesn’t matter what I think, or how I feel… It matters how you feel… you’re your own gem now, you don’t need to worry about anyone else but yourself.”

Yellow tensed as soon as Steven got louder, she froze like she always had done when Yellow Diamond raised her voice. Running wasn’t allowed and star forbid if she raised her voice in return which only left freezing as a panic responds. She could feel the static in the air rising, not being sure what to expect from the other. At least with her Diamond knew for the most part how she would react but she had no idea how and what Steven would do. 

“I-It’s o-okay…. I k-know you aren’t here…” her sadness having been replaced by fear. Still not moving even when things calmed down staying silent and still for a while just to see what else would be happening. To say that she was used to short anger burst would be an understatement, but that didn’t mean she was any less scared by them. 

Once she was sure that nothing else would be happening and that it really just was one short outburst, Yellow relaxed again. Her gaze still fixed on the stars knowing she was looking in the direction Homeworld was, the place she had lived and been trapped on for all her live. Though even now after all that had happened, the Pearl still didn’t know what to feel or think about the planet. She missed it or at least she thought she did, it had been a while since she was actually part of live up there so for all she knew things could have changed drastically. 

“She didn’t do that… Yellow Diamond never treated me badly, if she had, I would understand why she left me. But things were fine, at least I thought so, clearly there was something I didn’t know about…” cutting herself off knowing that Steven probably really didn’t want her to talk about his mother right now. 

Letting out a sigh as she dropped her head for the first time actually looking at the other. Yellow was exhausted, this whole year had taken a lot out of the Pearl, more than the years of being trapped had, though those hadn’t been pleasant either. “I honestly much rather worry about others…” that way she might be able to just push everything else away, but that also wouldn’t happen. 

“I have no idea where to even start” 

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YD Gem Steven blinked, looking over seeing Yellow Pearl sobbing again. A year full of tears had gotten him use to the sight, but it never made it easier on him to listen to, it never was nice to see her cry.

Once she had managed to calm down enough to speak, he looked over, he spoke with a firm tone, "Yellow, it wasn't anything you did or didn't do. None of this was your fault. All of this..." He gestured with his hands despite the fact that Yellow Pearl was facing away from him still, "is and well always be my mother's fault." He continued getting louder since it was making him furious. "ALL OF IT. From the moment she abandoned you, from her choice to create the cluster, not to mention her terrible taste in the one fuckwad she choose to have a kid with." His fists clenched, the sound of crackling thunder could be heard behind her.

YD Gem Steven snarled in a bitter rage, before it subsided as well as the threatening noise of his powers and he somberly added, "I'm sorry I don't have the answers you want, I'm sorry I'm not her." His thoughts were stuck on those moments of the past, it was stupid for him to get hung up on the past while telling someone to just move on with their life... he felt like a hypocrite. He shook his head and got closer to her, before finally sitting next to her.

YD Gem Steven looked at the stars above, it was a beautiful night it was calming just enjoying the stars but he wasn't going to let himself get distracted. "Yellow, I came out here tonight to find you. I haven't been the best person to you. l actively ignored you, pushed your feelings aside for my own comfort and that was selfish. If my mom did that with you, than I really am no better than she is... I don't want you to just leave, it won't give me any peace of mind." He looked over, "But it doesn't matter what I think, or how I feel... It matters how you feel... you're your own gem now, you don't need to worry about anyone else but yourself."

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YD Gem Steven listened to the other’s words. He tilted his head confused as to why she told him that he didn’t need to apologize, how he didn’t owe her attention, how they could have just left her in the statue. He opened his mouth to explain how he absolutely in fact needed to apologize, as far as he was concerned he was being the worst kind of person… a coward.

YD Gem Steven heard Yellow Pearl mention that his mother was the same way. He sunk a bit putting his hands in his pockets, looking away again. He felt disgusted being compared to his mother, but he came here to comfort Yellow Pearl, more than he came to comfort himself.

“Yellow, what my geological mom did was terrible. I know that what she did wasn’t my fault… but what I know is my fault was how I treated you.” YD Gem Steven looked back toward her, “If I had just explained how I felt in the first few hours rather than a year after you’ve already been hurting for so long, I’m sure you wouldn’t have felt this terrible…” He took a deep breath, and walked closer.

“You don’t owe me any sort of apology either, as far as I’m concerned you were just reacting to all this news thrown to you with little time to really understand it all, and then the fact that I couldn’t even look at you made it seem like it was all your fault… and It is absolutely not your fault in any way, shape or form.” YD Gem Steven looked over.

Looking to the side as she felt tears gather in her eyes, she hated crying, she hated it so much, but couldn’t help herself right now. All of it was still so much, one year wasn’t much for a gem, especially not for one that had spend so many years trapped. Not bubbled where she would at least have some peace but trapped still having some semblance of consciousness but bared from doing anything. 

Even though she tried her hardest, a sob escaped her before her hand could move to cover her mouth. It sounded so sweet, that it wasn’t her fault what had happened, Yellow wished she could believe that. “Why….” her voice was quite filled with so much sadness and pain. “Why did she leave me, what did I do…” 

The Pearl knew Steven didn’t have the answer to that, but not having a way to get an answer didn’t stop her from asking it. It really just left her open to speculate, wonder what had happened to cause all this, blaming herself, hating herself. But at least now she knew that Steven didn’t hate her, he probably didn’t like her, which was understandable, especially if looking at her caused him pain. 

“S-Sorry, I know there is no answer to that, I need to let it go” start looking forward and stop looking back. But how? How did she move forward when she was constantly reminded of what had happened. How was she supposed to find peace when she will never get any answers. There were so many questions, most of which hurt so much still. 

“Thank you for talking to me… I’m sure this isn’t easy for you either” even though to him she was a total stranger. Steven might have her Diamond’s gem but nothing else of her remained, well besides people’s memories of her. Yellow’s memories included, some better then others but all now hurting in some way. Maybe getting rejuvenated wouldn’t be bad after all, it would give her a fresh start take away the painful memories, but would that even last? 

The first starts could be seen on the early night sky the Pearl looking up, knowing just how vast the universe was. “Maybe it is best if I leave, at least you will find peace then” 

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YD Gem Steven listened to the other's words. He tilted his head confused as to why she told him that he didn't need to apologize, how he didn't owe her attention, how they could have just left her in the statue. He opened his mouth to explain how he absolutely in fact needed to apologize, as far as he was concerned he was being the worst kind of person... a coward.

YD Gem Steven heard Yellow Pearl mention that his mother was the same way. He sunk a bit putting his hands in his pockets, looking away again. He felt disgusted being compared to his mother, but he came here to comfort Yellow Pearl, more than he came to comfort himself.

"Yellow, what my geological mom did was terrible. I know that what she did wasn't my fault... but what I know is my fault was how I treated you." YD Gem Steven looked back toward her, "If I had just explained how I felt in the first few hours rather than a year after you've already been hurting for so long, I'm sure you wouldn't have felt this terrible..." He took a deep breath, and walked closer.

"You don't owe me any sort of apology either, as far as I'm concerned you were just reacting to all this news thrown to you with little time to really understand it all, and then the fact that I couldn't even look at you made it seem like it was all your fault... and It is absolutely not your fault in any way, shape or form." YD Gem Steven looked over.

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YD Gem Steven looked over in surprise that there were worse people than him, maybe she was saying that to be nice.

He thought to himself on how he was supposed to go about doing this, his brother was so much better with this sappy emotional stuff, but no, he just had to do this on his own so it wouldn’t look like his brother just forced him to be nice.

His attention returning toward Yellow Pearl when he heard her voice. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t come here because I need something from you… I came here because I needed to do something for you.” He paused.

“I need to apologize…” He felt like he was rambling at this point but he pressed on. “I’m sorry for ignoring you for so long after you had formed. It wasn’t because of you. It’s my fault… I’m sure my brother probably told you that I’m like this with everyone… and he’s right… I’m not the most trusting… or the most open about my feelings… but ever since I saw you in mom’s private chambers… i felt this… burning ache in my gem… and I just kept my distance cause I didn’t want to feel worse… but the more I pushed you away… the worse I felt… and I’m sorry for not just talking to you about it the first time… all of this is my fault.”

She honestly had not expected an apology, mostly because Yellow didn’t think she deserved one. Everything that had happened to her wasn’t his fault after all, if anything she should be the one apologizing since she caused him distress.”You don’t need to apologize, you didn’t owe me your attention, you could have left me in that statue after all” 

Part of her still thought that it might have been best if they had left her there, she had been put there for a good reason. Even though it was morbid to put her into a statue that was made to look like her which was placed next to one that was made to look like Yellow Diamond, the gem, she had failed. Though from what she had gathered that was not what people had been told, most thinking that she had willingly given up her form. 

She didn’t know why the Diamonds wouldn’t denounce her as a failure, but they hadn’t for some reason. It was a bit ironic to hear him say that he wasn’t the best with his emotions, that sounded very familiar. “Your mother…” that sounded so strange to say, so wrong “Was the same way, not very open about her feelings” that was an understatement. 

“But no it isn’t your fault, I’m sure my Diamond had a good reason for why she left me behind, I appreciate you freeing me and am sorry to have caused you distress” while the Pearl clearly tried to hide her own feelings trying to hide how hurt she was but while her words were carefully chosen her voice still gave away her pain. 

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YD Gem Steven looked over in surprise that there were worse people than him, maybe she was saying that to be nice.

He thought to himself on how he was supposed to go about doing this, his brother was so much better with this sappy emotional stuff, but no, he just had to do this on his own so it wouldn't look like his brother just forced him to be nice.

His attention returning toward Yellow Pearl when he heard her voice. He cleared his throat. "I didn't come here because I need something from you... I came here because I needed to do something for you." He paused.

"I need to apologize..." He felt like he was rambling at this point but he pressed on. "I'm sorry for ignoring you for so long after you had formed. It wasn't because of you. It's my fault... I'm sure my brother probably told you that I'm like this with everyone... and he's right... I'm not the most trusting... or the most open about my feelings... but ever since I saw you in mom's private chambers... i felt this... burning ache in my gem... and I just kept my distance cause I didn't want to feel worse... but the more I pushed you away... the worse I felt... and I'm sorry for not just talking to you about it the first time... all of this is my fault."

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Yellow Diamond Gem Steven took a breath while sitting in his room. This aching feeling in his chest hadn’t gone away ever since his brother insisted that they had freed their mother’s Pearl from her captivity, he too agreed it wasn’t right to just treat her like nothing more than a decoration but seeing how looking at him made him feel like he should have kept his distance, but with her constantly poofing herself and talk of just bubbling her since she was useless bothered him, how was that any different from what his mother had done.

He decided on his own to journey to find her himself, he wanted to explain why he had been so distance, why he couldn’t bare to look in her direction when his gem burned with this odd pain … he could only assumed it was runoff guilt from his mothers actions, and he couldn’t bare to deal with it and ignore it any longer.

So here he was awkwardly standing in silence as the past year played through his mind while he work up the courage to just interact with her. Only to be pulled from his thoughts hearing her address him, well that makes things easier.

“Hey…” He waved back flashing an awkward smile that was genuine but a little off since well, he doesn’t typically smile all that often. “… I’m sure I’m kinda the last person you wanted to see while you’re … alone thinking of things I guess…” He paused not sure how to go about this, touchy feely stuff wasn’t his forte.

Turing her head back taking her eyes off the other, not something she usually did but looking at the other hurt. It wasn’t his fault, Yellow knew that much she understood that Steven was his own person, but he still had her gem. Going back to looking back at the horizon, not sure on what to say back to his assumption. 

“I could think of worse people” she said after a pause, maybe not many other people that would be worse, but there were a few. There was another pause as the Pearl thought about what else she could say, was there really much to say? Steven had made it clear that he had no interest in her. While that fact hurt Yellow by now had accepted that she could do nothing to change this, a very familiar sense of helplessness accompanying her pain now. 

Keeping her gaze forward, the Pearl felt, a lot of things right now. Sadness, pain, anger, fear, hopelessness and some others all coming together. Not that anyone would be able to tell as much by looking at her face. She wasn’t one for showing how she felt, at least not until her feelings build up so high that even she couldn’t hide them anymore. 

There was no point to it though or at least she didn’t see it if there was one, there seemed to be less than a handful of pleasant emotions while everything else was either annoying or hurt in some way. People might say that being sad was necessary at times and just made feeling happy so much better, but Yellow could honestly do without either. 

The Pearl couldn’t remember when she last felt happy by now she questioned if she ever had been truly happy in her live before. So maybe that was why to her giving away all her emotions didn’t sound bad. The amount of happiness she felt was pebble compared to the mountains of hurt and sorrow so she really wouldn’t give up much to be free of so much. 

Shaking her head a little snapping out of her thoughts, it was rude to space out mid-conversation even if she didn’t know what this one would bring. “Do you need something?” 

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Yellow Diamond Gem Steven took a breath while sitting in his room. This aching feeling in his chest hadn't gone away ever since his brother insisted that they had freed their mother's Pearl from her captivity, he too agreed it wasn't right to just treat her like nothing more than a decoration but seeing how looking at him made him feel like he should have kept his distance, but with her constantly poofing herself and talk of just bubbling her since she was useless bothered him, how was that any different from what his mother had done.

He decided on his own to journey to find her himself, he wanted to explain why he had been so distance, why he couldn't bare to look in her direction when his gem burned with this odd pain ... he could only assumed it was runoff guilt from his mothers actions, and he couldn't bare to deal with it and ignore it any longer.

So here he was awkwardly standing in silence as the past year played through his mind while he work up the courage to just interact with her. Only to be pulled from his thoughts hearing her address him, well that makes things easier.

"Hey..." He waved back flashing an awkward smile that was genuine but a little off since well, he doesn't typically smile all that often. "... I'm sure I'm kinda the last person you wanted to see while you're ... alone thinking of things I guess..." He paused not sure how to go about this, touchy feely stuff wasn't his forte.

@two-sides-halved​ liked for a starter 

To say that the last year had been a lot for the Pearl would be an understatement. Having spend thousands of years trapped in a statue, after she failed to stop her own Diamond from going rogue. So since she was “only good to stand around and look pretty” she was poofed and placed in a statue. Yellow wished they would have shattered her instead…

When she did get to reform, it was not to be greeted by her Diamond but by the kids of her Diamond. Something that took her a while to understand Yellow Diamond was gone, she had left to start a new life, leaving her behind and then had children. Going from confused to crushed when it all finally sank in, but that was just the start of it. 

While one of the boys seemed quite friendly trying to cheer her up the other who wore the gem of her owner didn’t do as much as acknowledge her existence. It hurt, it hurt so bad even once she knew that he wouldn’t have the answers she wanted, just seeing him so openly dislike her broke the Pearl each time a little more. 

Even with people trying to help her, trying to make her see that this wasn’t her fault Yellow just spiraled. Stopping to talk much and shutting down going as far to poof herself multiple times and asking people to just put her in a bubble since she clearly wasn’t needed. It was only after a trip to homeworld where the remaining Diamonds almost rejuvenated the Pearl that the other Steven talked to her. 

It was strange in a way and really didn’t make her feel much better but the experience did make her realize that she did in fact want to live. That might seem like a small step but for many months Yellow had struggled to even think that far so it was a start. 

Right now the Pearl had walked outside as the sun was setting, walking up a hill just wandering a little until she found a space she liked. Sitting down on the grass, watching as the sky darkened, knowing that soon enough she would be able to see the stars. The Pearl didn’t know what to do now or where to go, things were still so new to her and it still hurt. 

Sitting there in silence for a while until she heard somebody approach, turning her head to see the other, eyes falling on his gem again. A gem she was so used to seeing on another person, one that even after all this she dearly missed. 

“Hey…”