#soulmate jeno

[slightlymore]

i will not vanish | two

I will not vanish [MASTERLIST] is a companion series/backstory to the ‘soulmates collection’ [doyoung]

demon haechan x fem reader

genre: fantasy, smut, angst!!, comedic and fluff elements, tarot reader haechan

warnings and content: +18, explicit sexual content, oral f, body worshipping, titty sucking, first time penetrative sex for reader, fingering, breeding kink, unprotected and pulling out then protected (?), cum play, dirty talk, biting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, finger sucking, sexual tension, mutual pining, slow burn, tarot readings, fight scenes and use of swords/knives, magic snakes, wounds, swearing

other characters: demon jeno, immortal jaemin, doyoung, selene (oc), archangel mark

words: 17k

soulmates universe equivalent: my soulmate loves wine

note: the terminology used [demon, angel, archangel] has no correlation to the usual religious connotations

Mark was a peculiar man, you thought.

His eyes were dark as carbon just like his hair. They would pierce into yours as if they could read your mind. Perhaps, he could. He was an Archangel after all. 

But he didn't feel frightening when he approached you that day, gently sitting on the dying grass near you. 

“Are you my guardian Angel?” you finally spoke after his short monologue, explaining who he was. 

Mark chuckled, closing his eyes, and showing white shiny teeth. 

“No, I am not. And Haechan is not your guardian Demon either.” 

He didn’t bother to explain how he knew you were thinking precisely that.

You swallowed. 

“But you can come with me and ask him that yourself.”

When Mark said he knew where Haechan had run to, you had no idea that convincing the University Rector to suddenly let you take a gap year was going to be the most difficult thing to do. 

“What if I promise you that I will get a sick as fuck dissertation on this travel? You’ll get so much fame and so many people will want to come and study here.” 

The woman was slightly swinging back and forth in her huge chair as if unsure. 

“Well, if you write it the same way you speak, I’m not sold.” 

You fought the urge to sigh. “I am the smartest person in Slytherin.” 

“That’s not true. It is, in fact, Kim Doyoun-” 

“Okay, I’m the second smartest person in Slytherin.” You felt your eyebrow twitch. 

“What’s even the topic?” she looked bored. 

“Parallel universes,” you were firm. 

The Rector had to hide a patronizing smile. “Research on parallel universes.” 

Your fist tightened. “I think it’s absurd how we have all sorts of magic, and we can fly and stuff, and we don’t believe in parallel universes and people - no, beings - travelling to them through portals.” 

“What would these beings be?” 

You were unsure. Angels? Demons? Could that actually be the case or were Haechan and his weird friend group pulling the biggest prank in history?

“That would be my my research question, ma’am.” 

You were so convincing that you convinced yourself as well. Or at least, you tried to not think too deeply about it. 

But when you reached the city Mark gave you an appointment in, you fought the urge to run back home.

What were you doing? Were you that stupid and gullible to believe a stranger and follow him around? 

Maybe.

But Haechan has always looked very strange to you as well. His magic wasn’t of your world, and the way both he and Jeno disappeared all of sudden wasn’t normal. You had to find out what the hell was going on. 

“You actually came,” Mark commented, raising his eyes from the phone he was holding. 

The man was sitting at a small round table, in front of a café, a steamy coffee to blur his face.

You sat down as well and looked around.

People were walking by and not giving both of you a single glance.

Of course, you just looked like two normal people having a conversation at a café. You had no idea why you felt like an undercover spy instead. 

“So, where is he?” 

You meant Haechan. 

Mark leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms on his chest. He looked so confident that it was making you feel anxious as if you somehow fell into his trap. 

“He’s right here,” he tilted his head towards the entrance of the coffee shop. 

You looked at it, snapping your head. Some employees were inside but none of them looked like Haechan. 

“Not here here. In the Universe he is right now this place is not a café but a tarot shop. That’s where you’ll go.” 

“A tarot shop?” 

Mark nodded. 

“And he’s there.” 

He nodded again. 

“How do I reach him?” 

Mark extended one hand on the table. You looked at his fingers. The palm was facing up and he had one faint scar in the middle of it. 

“Touch me,” he whispered. 

You had no idea what you expected to happen as you leaned forward and slowly brushed your fingertips with his. But you expected it to be something. 

Yet nothing happened.

No electricity, no headache, no vision, no portal transportation. Just you and that strange man holding hands. 

For a second you thought he was some type of creep, and you gathered all the magic you could feel ready to blow him the fuck away. But then his eyes became completely white, no iris and no pupils, and you gasped.

In a second his eyes came back to their usual very dark brown and he smiled. 

“Tomorrow, come back here. Have a good night's sleep, that’s crucial. You’ll find him inside.”

“Why are you doing this?” you asked quickly before he could get up. 

“I thought you wanted to know where he is.” 

You cleared your throat. “I’m just generally curious about him and you and this situation. From an Academic point of view. I’ll write a paper.” 

Mark nodded as if not believing one single word. “You’re useful to me.” 

“How?” 

“You’ll bother him a lot.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. You wanted to ask more questions but just like the first time he spoke to you, you blinked and he was gone. 

That morning you woke up after a good night's sleep, completely unaware you were in a different Universe with the task of finding a man called Haechan. 

 Haechan, Jaemin and Jeno were in silence at the round table. The first had a concentrated face as if he were completely in his head. The second looked bored and the third was simply waiting. 

“I know,” the Demon finally broke the silence. “Kimchi jjigae.” 

Jaemin’s mouth opened while his eyes closed. “Unbelievable.” 

Jeno looked like about to attack at any time. “Were you thinking about what to have for dinner this whole damn time? I thought we were on a mission.” 

Haechan eyed the other’s veiny fists. “Chill out. I figured out the plan in the first three seconds and then I wondered about food for the rest of the time. Who do you think I am? I thought by now you would have known I am a genius. Olay, you-” he indicated to Jeno, “Selene. And you-” he said to Jaemin, “Doyoung.” 

“I have to pretend to be Doyoung and romance Jeno, who's pretending to be Selene?” Jaemin asked, confused. 

“I regret every waking hour that I helped you survive,” Jeno didn’t look amused. 

Haechan sighed. “Jaemin, I did say you don’t have to think when I am around, but I didn’t mean you don’t have to use your brain at all.”

Jaemin leaned back in his chair with a smirk as if acting dumb has been his plan all along.

“I have to take care of Selene and Jaemin will take care of Doyoung. To push them together,” Jeno guessed.

Haechan nodded.

“And what will you do?” Jaemin asked. 

“I’ll be the glue,” Haechan answered. “Selene is gullible as hell in this Universe. I was thinking something like giving her a Tarot reading. Telling her a man is coming and describing him exactly like Doyoung.” 

He chuckled as if he was about to prank someone and the other two sighed. 

“It’s going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy.” 

 Haechan watched Jeno trip on his own feet and scratched his eyebrow. “Okay, maybe it’s going to be more so difficult difficult lemon difficult.” 

“I don’t know why I have to pretend to be a girl. I can be her friend even if I’m a man,” Jeno was mad, hands on his hips and long black hair in his face. 

“Stressy depressy lemon zesty,” Jaemin commented from his chair after having a good laugh. 

“I need you to be her only friend, my dude. Every single person in her life it’s going to be just you.” 

“That’s fucking crazy. I feel sorry for Selene,” Jaemin sighed. 

Jeno, or the woman who looked like someone related to Jeno, sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. “This is going to take a long time.”

“Consider this a vacation. Let’s take it easy. Where are we rushing? We have eternity. My book-” Haechan patted an old tome resting on his desk, “says wine business. There’s no way in hell she’s into the alcohol business right now. I stalked. She’s in her last year of university.” 

“You’re a stalker?” 

“I’m a Demon. That's basically the same thing."

"I am a Demon, and I am not a stalker," Woman-Jeno lifted one eyebrow. 

Haechan felt weird seeing him like that. "Did you really have to make yourself this sexy? What if Doyoung falls in love with you instead of Selene? No. What if one of us falls in love with y-" 

Woman-Jeno disappeared to show a very angry Man-Jeno about to whoop Haechan's ass. 

 The day felt quite cold and you shivered after opening the front door.

Was it already sweater weather? The song played in your head as you turned around to run the stairs and grab something warmer from your closet. It would be nice for someone to hold both of your hands in the holes of their sweater, you thought with a melancholic smile.

But there was no one.

After wearing a clean hoodie you noticed the corner of a red and gold scarf, hidden under piles of hats and gloves. You’ve never seen it before and you wondered if your grandma put it there when she announced she was cleaning her closet. Perhaps a nice scarf was needed that morning, you realized. You grabbed it and felt it between your fingertips. It was very good quality and almost pristine.

Why did your grandma give it away? Then you shrugged and put it on.

Running the stairs again your fingers brushed over the “HC” embroidered on the bottom and you made a mental note to search the brand online. 

It was the first day of work after graduating from university and the only company that accepted your CV has been this shady wine company. They barely had any information online but the contract seemed legit. Your task was managing the social media accounts so it made sense for them to not have anything prior if they hired you. Ideally, you wanted to do something more artistic. Like doing art for some weird brand or- 

you stopped in place. A tarot shop?

You looked around as if checking if others were curious about the place as you suddenly got too but there was no one around.

Weird, you thought. It was a Monday morning after all. 

Your eyes darted towards the shop’s glass windows again. It was closed and the lights were turned off. Your reflection looked spectral and you blinked seeing how your lipstick was a little bit smudged on your chin.

 Haechan inhaled suddenly, eyes on the outside of their fake Tarot shop. Behind the glass, you were trying to look inside. It was closed so you thought no one could see you while you were touching up on your makeup in the reflection. 

Jeno and Jaemin looked at Haechan first then in the direction he was staring at since they felt him freeze up. 

Jeno’s eyes widened at the sight. 

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows confused. “What’s up with you guys? Do you know her?”

Haechan stood up in a second, knocking down the crystal ball from the desk with a shattering sound but Jeno’s iron fist stopped him by grabbing his forearm. 

“Don’t.”

Haechan’s eyes were incendiary. “Let go.” 

“No.” 

“I said-” 

“What are you going to do huh? Talk to her? Say what? You’re a Demon and you just talked in another universe a few days ago which felt like years? She doesn’t remember you.” Jeno scolded him but his expression relaxed as Haechan looked up, exchanging a look with him. He looked devastated. 

“Haechan…” 

Haechan shook his head with a tired chuckle. “No, you’re right.” He sat back down and rested his head in his palm, pretending to be busy looking in his book. The crystal ball turned intact on his desk as if it never fell. 

“Haechan?”

“Jeno, it’s okay. I said you’re right. I’m not going to do anything stupid-” 

“No, dumbass. Look!” Jeno lightly hit his shoulder.

You adjusted the big red and yellow scarf around your neck in the window's reflection. Haechan could see the bright “HC” letters on the bottom of it as you walked away. 

 Haechan had to fight the urge to search for you. The Y/N you were in this universe wasn’t like the Slytherin he grew to-

To what?

Love? 

Haechan wasn’t in love. He couldn’t be.

He was a Demon.

Whatever he felt in that Universe almost disappeared during the travel, proof that it was the human flesh he wore to be attracted to you and not his real self. 

But you were wearing the scarf he left behind. That was impossible unless that version of you was the Slytherin.

But humans can’t travel. 

Haechan shook his head. He opened his book and sighed. In a few months, he’d give a tarot reading to both Doyoung and Selene.

Time flies when you’re pretending to be human. 

The cards were neatly piled up and he smiled. Just a simple tool and it makes people lose their minds. He grabbed them and shuffled, pulling a card for himself.

The Tower.

He furrowed his eyebrows and suddenly exhaled like a dog sensing danger, eyes trained on the entrance. He turned all of the candles off while turning invisible. 

“Is anyone there?” your voice could be heard before Haechan could see your face peeking through the crack of the door. He could feel you coming.

“Hello? I saw the lights on and thought it was open. Are you already closing?” you asked again.

You stepped in cautiously and looked around with tight eyes, unable to see much. 

Haechan turned on one candle on the desk. “Who are you?” he asked. 

You muffled a scream with your palms. Your wide eyes looked around again but Haechan was still invisible. 

“I-” you tried to speak. “I am Y/N. I was interested in getting a reading.” 

Haechan chuckled silently. You didn’t look like you wanted the reading anymore. 

He turned on the rest of the candles and the room warmed up while he appeared from the shadows, this time gently to not scare you any further.

“Welcome. You can sit down here,” he indicated in front of himself. 

You exhaled and blinked, eying him from head to toe.

 When you decided to finally enter that Tarot shop after walking in front of it for weeks you didn’t expect to be met by a very handsome young man. 

The place has been creepy for a moment but then it became so cosy that you felt at ease on the chair, staring at the way the man’s fingers were expertly shuffling the cards. It almost put you to sleep.

His hands were delicate but manly, with a single ring adorning them, and a silver watch on his wrist.

You thought he looked too modern for being in a Tarot Shop. 

“Can you please blow on these?” he asked. 

“Huh?” you lifted your head to look him in the eyes. They were very warm but with a piercing darkness you didn’t like, as if something bad would happen if you stared too much into them. 

“Oh, sure,” you did as you were told, hoping you didn’t have bad breath. 

The man shuffled again and spread them in front of you. 

“I’ll let you choose,” he said.

His voice was melodic like a snake playing with its prey. 

You looked at the back of the dark red cards then exchanged a look again. “I didn’t say what my question is.” 

“I know without you telling me.” 

That amused you and the seed of wanting to prove him wrong got the best of you. “Really?”

The man nodded with a little cunning smile. 

“What is it then?”

He leaned back in the chair and pushed back his hair. He definitely didn’t look like he knew what he was doing. Was his grandma - the actual tarot reader - in the toilet? 

“Will I ever find someone to hold my hands in the holes of their sweater?” he whispered. 

Your heart dropped. 

“How do you know that?” 

The man’s eyes twinkled. “It’s my job.” 

You suddenly didn’t feel safe anymore but not in a bad way. You looked down at the cards and you chose one, turning it.

It was the Page of Swords, or at least that was written on it. The image was of a young boy holding, well, a sword. 

You looked up at the man for an explanation. 

“You’re asking a good question. It also means that you might find a lover in some kind of mentor or a studying field.” 

“I’m done studying. I’m working now.” 

“We’re never done learning.” 

That sounded like something an old grandpa would say and the mixed signals that the young man was giving, both young and millennials years old, were throwing you off. 

“So, I’ll find a lover in a teacher?” you were weirded out. 

“Maybe. Or you’ll find a lover while you research something.” 

“Like what?” 

“I don’t know. Is there something on your mind that you want to research?” 

“I wanted to research this place,” you started then ended with a lower voice, realizing how that could sound to him.

You weren’t trying to hit on him, although he looked- well he was the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your life. If you could have a lover to hold your hands in the holes of his sweater you’d definitely imagine him like the young tarot reader in front of you. 

“Well, maybe you’ll find your lover like this.” 

His expression didn’t give you any information on what he was thinking. 

You looked back down at the card and pulled another one. It was Strength.

You couldn’t tell what that could mean regarding everything else. On it, a woman was grabbing a lion with the symbol of infinity on her head. She didn’t look afraid or tired. She looked at peace. 

“Is that my lover?”

“The Lion?” 

You nodded. 

“That’s an enemy,” he explained. 

“What? I don’t have enemies.”

The Tarot man’s eyes were flickering like the candles in front of him. “You have a task,” he whispered.

He looked like he was in a trance and for a moment it spooked you. The young man looked surprised. But then he looked at you. “Give me your hand.” 

His tone was calm but intense and you didn’t even think of not doing as he said. 

You noticed your fingers were trembling a little as you put your palm on top of his. His skin felt soft but firm, just like what you imagined a man’s touch would be like. 

Nothing happened for a second but then the man screamed and got on his feet, holding his wrist with the other hand. 

You got up as well, the incriminating palm to your mouth, watching in horror the way his fingers were turning charcoal black. 

“What the fuck is going on? This is not a funny trick!” you accused him. 

The young man didn’t pay any attention to you, his soft brown curls becoming jet black and straight in his eyes, the veins on his back popping as his mouth was open in a silent scream. 

“I will- I will write a complaint!” you added, sure it was some kind of elaborate joke. “It is not okay to bring it this far!” 

But then the man fell to his knees and on his side with a thud. 

You ran around the table and crouched down, the sweat suddenly accumulated on your forehead making your eyes burn. Or maybe they were tears? 

“Hey?” you whimpered, afraid to touch him a second time. “This is not funny, please stop,” you tried again and the drops that fell on his arm were tears, this time you were sure. They burned his shirt and blackened his skin. You put your palm on your mouth and slid back until hitting the desk with your blades. 

With a loud thud the front door opened and a tall man appeared in front of you with the angriest expression you’ve ever seen on a human. 

“What have you done?” 

 “I think you should sit down and have a cup of tea,” the young man you learned was called Jaemin addressed the tall and scary young man who interrogated you for what felt like while years while the Tarot man was lying unconscious on the couch. You were occupying the other one, right in the front with Jaemin, who kept pouring you tea although you didn’t want any anymore. The scary man never stopped pacing the room and you wondered when the floor would cave in. 

“Don’t piss me off,” Jeno replied. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes and although you were feeling sick to your stomach at the situation, his energy was very calming and healing, so you let the corner of your mouth turn up for a moment when he locked eyes with you. 

“Maybe if you sit down, you can think better. I don’t think you’re able to do two things at the same time.” 

“You think this is a time to joke.” 

“I just got possessed by Haechan’s spirit while it left his body, I don’t know what to tell you.” 

That was the first time they said the Tarot man’s name and you understood they were talking about him because they both stared at his unconscious face - Jaemin with actual worry that he was trying to hide with jokes and Jeno with love that he was trying to hide with anger.

You didn’t like the way Jaemin said that his spirit left his body.

They also said going to a hospital is not going to help so you stopped insisting. And when you asked who or what they were they didn’t reply. 

Finally, when you asked what happened to Haechan, Jaemin made sure to assure you that you didn’t do anything wrong while Jeno was firm on the fact that Haechan would be awake if you never placed a foot in that shop in the first place.

You also regretted coming. 

“Do you have any- adulterer adult to resolve this? Like a parent or a teacher?” you tried again with a timid voice. Jeno sighed as if annoyed to hear your voice while Jaemin poured some tea for himself and faced you like some sort of kindergarten teacher. 

“That’s him.” 

You took a few seconds to process. 

“He-,” for some reason you felt too shy to pronounce his name, “is your parent?” 

Jeno groaned again as if that would be his biggest nightmare and Jaemin laughed. “Not like that, but yes. For how weird it might seem, Haechan is the chaotic parental figure. If there’s something someone should know it’s usually him. If he didn’t foresee this happening, then we’re against-”

“Another parental figure,” Jeno interrupted. 

Jaemin’s jovial expression dropped. The gaze he exchanged with Jeno was so intense and full of information that your intestines twirled on themselves. 

“Why attack now?” Jaemin asked. You had no idea what was going on. 

“He found a weakness,” Jeno replied and looked at you. His eyes weren’t kind. 

“I am a weakness? For whom?” you were starting to get mad yourself.

That Tarot dude scared you to death, the other dudes interrogated you, keeping you there, blaming you for whatever happened, without wanting to explain anything, and now they accused you of something else too? 

“Don’t answer that,” Haechan cawed. 

Jeno moved so fast near the couch that for a moment you thought he teleported.

Maybe he did. 

“Fuck man, I thought you were gone for good.” 

“You would have liked to see me gone,” Haechan tried to cackle but groaned in pain instead.

Jaemin moved just as quickly and brought Haechan a glass of water. “Can you lift yourself? How are you feeling?” 

“Oh,” his eyes were still closed, and he chuckled, “I feel like I’ve been to hell.”

The other men didn’t laugh with him and from their expression, it was as if Haechan literally descended into Hell in the past hour. 

When he opened his eyes, his pupils were fixed on you, and you noticed how black they were. His burned hands were still black fading towards the middle of his forearms. You thought he’d leave prints on the glass, but he didn’t. 

“Well, I didn’t expect that to happen,” he commented after finishing it. He let the others help him to sit up and when he extended his head back as if the movement caused him great pain you saw the lettering of a silver tattoo on his neck. You had no idea if he had it before. You slowly turned your head to the side to be able to see what was written but Haechan put a palm on it. 

“Nosy,” he simply said. 

You straightened your back, embarrassed. 

“I think she needs to know,” Jaemin said suddenly. 

They were talking about you as if you weren’t there. “What do I need to know?” 

They ignored you. “I just need to stay away from her,” Haechan opened his eyes and stared at his burned hands with disgust. 

“And will you?” Jeno wasn’t impressed. 

“Are you joking? After the literal Hell I’ve been through? Of course, I will.” 

You didn’t understand anything of what was being said but you somehow felt hurt. 

“Okay, I am going home.” 

“No, you’re not going anywhere,” Haechan stopped you in your tracks. 

“Haechan,” Jeno’s voice was a low warning. 

“I can’t let her roam around. Who knows what’s going to happen?” he explained extending his thin fingers. 

“You can’t keep her near you. You’re Superman and she’s Kryptonite!” Jaemin added. 

“I am a person, and I can hear you talk!” you raised your voice, and all the candles went off. 

Jeno’s eyebrows were furrowed when he turned them on in the same instant. 

“Was that you?” Haechan asked after a moment of silence. His tone was grave.

You gulped and stepped back. “No.” 

They all exchanged a look as if to check if some of them did that instead, and then they looked at you again like some sort of Fates about to decide on your destiny. 

“Get her,” Haechan spoke and in the same instant Jeno’s hands were on your arms, materializing in front of you. 

Panic washed over you as you tried to escape but he was too strong. “Let me go! What are you doing? Back off!” you screamed. 

Jeno’s body flew across the room, landing on the desk and crashing it. Jaemin stepped towards you, but you raised one arm and he got hung against the wall as if an invisible snake kept him in the air by the throat. 

You turned around, trying to find a way to run towards the door by avoiding Jeno who was already on his feet and, if possible, even angrier than before. But someone’s shadow obscured your face and you realized you were mere centimetres from Haechan. You didn’t bother to understand how he moved so quickly to be there, but one thing you knew, your touch for him was deadly so just one little-

your body was frozen. You tried to speak but you couldn’t move, not even the tip of your tongue. 

“Now,” Haechan sounded exhausted. “There’s no need to be this aggressive. We don’t want to hurt you. Although I see you have no issues hurting us.” 

His eyes were even darker than before, accentuated by the black eye circles. He looked like someone who actually just returned from Hell. 

“You’re going to get all the information you want but you need to be a good girl and stay here. Is this clear?” 

As if he was giving you a choice. 

“I’ll take it as a yes although you can’t move. Nice to see you again, miss Slytherin.”

 You couldn’t remember when or how you fell asleep, if you did at all, or if they knocked you out instead. 

But you woke up in a big white bed and you realized you were wearing soft orange pyjamas with sunflowers on. The shame and anger washed over you at the thought of any of those disgusting men undressing you while you were forcefully unconscious last night. 

“I can sense you’re awake,” a voice you grew to find annoying could be heard behind the door. The room was spacious and airy. It was probably some guest room because it didn’t fit any of the dudes’ personalities. 

“Can I come in? I have breakfast.” 

“As if I have any choices to make,” you mumbled. 

The door opened and Haechan walked in with a tray. “You can choose what to eat for breakfast.” 

“Kidnapping, assault and battery, psychological abuse, conspiracy-” 

“But I also have flaws.”

“Sexual-”

“Hey hey hey, no one did anything sexual,” he interrupted drawing the line at that. 

“You changed me of my clothes into this!” you indicated your body. “While I was unconscious! Hell knows what you did to me!” 

Haechan sighed and put the tray on the nightstand. Then he snapped his fingers, and you were back in your clothes.

They were dusty and sweaty. 

“No one undressed you and no one did anything to you.” 

You were still looking down at your body as if not believing you were awake. 

Haechan snapped his fingers again and you were wearing a different set of clothes. Then another one.

Then a dress with heels.

Then a fur suit. 

“Okay okay okay! I get it!” 

Haechan snapped them again and you were back in your fuzzy pyjamas. 

“Also, there was no assault, no psychological abuse, no conspiracy.” 

“You did kidnap me though.” 

Haechan thought about it for a moment turning his head to the side. “I did yes. It’s either kidnapping or me letting you go, but becoming your stalker. Choose.” 

“I don’t understand why this is necessary.” 

“Listen, I don’t want you here either, but I don’t trust you after what you did to me and-” 

“I didn’t do anything!”

“You sent me to Hell.” 

“You went there on your own!”

“How do I know you’re conspiring with Mark or not?” 

“Who the fuck is Mark? You’re so worked up over a dude named Mark?” 

Haechan closed his mouth and after a moment his whole body started to shake. You realized he was laughing.

“I’ve never realized how simple his name was. Doesn’t sound like a villain at all.” 

“Well, because maybe he’s the good one and you’re the villain.” 

Haechan’s smile disappeared and with it all the warmth in the room.

When he walked in he looked like a normal young man, a boy even. His hair was back to his soft brown curls and his hands weren’t burned up to the elbows anymore.

For a second you forgot what he was capable of or what he did the previous night.

Now he was showing you a little piece of that and you felt your spine shake. 

“You’re right. Maybe I am. That’s what everyone says anyway.” Haechan turned around and left the room without adding anything else. 

You stared at the breakfast tray feeling a weird sensation of guilt. 

 The bedroom door was unlocked, you discovered, after taking a shower and debating whether you should trust the food Haechan brought you. But your growling stomach didn’t care so you had to trust that he still needed you alive, and if he had to kill you, he’d do it more interestingly. 

You walked towards the corridor slowly, following the string of groans coming from what seemed like some sort of living room. It was almost identical to the room in the shop, and you realized you were probably on the second floor of the same building. 

The groans kept going and when you peeked from the corner you were met with Jeno’s bloodshot eyes. 

“I will kill you.” 

You jumped in place. 

“Now now, let’s calm down. It’s not her fault,” Jaemin talked with his kindergarten teacher’s voice and you noticed he was medicating wounds that made Jeno groan like that.

Then you noticed that Jeno was shirtless. 

“What happened?” 

“I went to see your grandma to make sure she’s not worried about you.” 

You were surprised they’d do that.

“But the little grandma was a fucking wolf in disguise,” he added. 

Jaemin chuckled. “Literally.” 

You walked around to see wolf bites on Jeno’s back. “Oh my god.” 

“Yep, a hellhound,” Jaemin explained. 

“My grandma is a hellhound?” you felt your head pulsate. 

“Of course, she’s not your grandma. You have no grandma because you’re not from this Universe,” Haechan appeared on the stairs.

He was addressing you but he didn’t look at your face once. “It was one of Mark’s henchmen tasked to make you believe you’ve been living a normal life here since birth.” 

Haechan walked around Jeno as well and winced. “Why are they not healing?” 

“Well, he’s a fucking dog from fucking underground and I’m an angel. My powers are limited.” 

“You’re a Demon now. Stop using that word,” Haechan sat on the couch and exhaled as if exhausted. You wondered what he has been up to. 

You felt just as exhausted, as if you started to watch a tv show in the middle of the season and you lost very important information. “What the hell are you all talking about? At this point, I think I’m due an explanation.”

 Jaemin finished taking care of Jeno’s wide shoulders by the time Haechan finished his tale. You were sitting on the couch, the cup of coffee you were offered still intact and cold on the small table in front of you. Your muscles were stiff and your body paralyzed. This time, it wasn’t because of any of the dark powers those individuals possessed, it was just horror keeping you in place.

Haechan started from the beginning, recounting the time when he was an Angel (no, not the way you imagine, he scolded you when you asked about wings and halos), then he mentioned his departure from the City (that’s a story for another time, he cut it short when you asked what exactly happened), then he casually mentioned how he lived in this Hell Prison for millennials (time doesn’t exist, he rolled his eyes at the way you eyed him like he was some prehistoric grandpa), and finally, he recounted the way this dude, Kim Doyoung, came to his rescue and they signed a contract (contract with the Devil, you commented, and Haechan ignored you) to make him fall in love with his woman, Selene, in all lives possible. 

“Well, and what does that have to do with me?” you asked. 

“We met in another Universe while I was doing my little task and you’re from there.” 

“How is that possible? I have no memory of it.” 

“That’s what we’re trying to understand as well,” Jeno got up from his chair and grabbed a silky button-down, groaning a little when he lifted one arm to wear it. 

“Do you have any proof of this?” you lifted your chin, surprised you still had a voice to ask questions.

Haechan’s eyes analyzed your features and your courage went missing. 

“Your scarf,” he simply said. 

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked towards the entrance where your coat and scarf were neatly hanging. 

Then you understood. 

“HC,” you exhaled and got on your feet to go and grab it. The letters were there on the edge of the red and gold woven material. “This is yours?” 

Haechan didn’t confirm nor denied. 

“Why do I have it?” you looked at him then at the others. Jaemin and Jeno avoided your gaze. “Were we close friends?” 

Jeno cleared his throat and mumbled something about work, heading towards the entrance. Jaemin scratched his forehead and just backed away into the kitchen. 

“Haechan?” you hesitated. For some reason, you felt like you had to use “sir” or “mister” when addressing him although you looked roughly the same age. 

The young man bit his lower lip then finally let his gaze fall on the scarf and then your face. “We were acquaintances. Same University. We talked before, that’s it.” 

Your voice was a whisper but Haechan’s demonic ears were very sensitive. “Then why am I your weakness?”

He got up and passed his hands on the dark jeans. 

“Never said you were,” he tried to walk past you but you took a step to the side and blocked him. Your hands, holding the scarf, almost touched his arm and he winced, putting distance between you two. 

“Sorry,” you realized.

The fact your touch was deadly to him was making you feel upset. 

His story had many holes and you still had too many questions.

Maybe the reading was right. Maybe you did have a task, some research to do.

But was Haechan the lover holding the cup with you, or was he the enemy, the lion, in that story? 

“Is this Mark person my lover then?” 

Haechan’s eyes became black. He seemed irritated. “How would I know that?” 

“Well, I clearly have no memories so you’re my only source of information.” 

“Since you’re here to kill me and I can smell his magic all over you, then yes, I guess you two fuck. And maybe you’ve been fucking the whole time and I had no idea,” he replied in a low voice before heading down the stairs. “If you have any more questions don’t ask them.” 

“Then what about you?” you raised your voice so he could hear you from downstairs. “Are you my lover?” 

Haechan stopped and you watched his back. 

“Whatever happened in that Universe doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” he answered then disappeared from your sight. 

 The place was quiet, safe for a low metallic noise coming from the kitchen. You walked towards the noise expecting someone cooking but instead you were met with Jeno’s dark eyes, shining only when the reflection of the knife he was sharpening would hit his irises. They shifted towards you to give you a single glance. He looked like a butcher. 

“Are your wounds better?” you tried to be friendly with that grumpy man. 

Jeno sighed. “Yes, thank you.” 

You adjusted your posture. He was being an okay person?

You remained both quiet for a few moments, safe from the knife sound. 

“If you need to say something, just say it,” he lifted one perfect eyebrow. 

In the mess of it all, you’ve never realized how good looking everyone was.

Truly angels.

Or demons.

You inhaled and shifted the weight from one foot to the other. 

“Has there been something between me and-” you hesitated, “Haechan?” 

The man listened and remained quiet for a moment. He got a sense of deja-vu. 

 “Oh, we– don’t talk much.” 

Jeno looked at you from the corner of his eyes. “Why is that?” 

You shrugged. Then you shivered. Apparently, having nude shoulders wasn’t only offensive for the Headmistress but also inconvenient for the autumn cold. 

“He stopped talking to me all of sudden.” 

“Maybe it’s for the better.” 

You looked at Jeno’s chiselled jaw. “Why do you say that?” 

“Haechan,” he started, “is not a great man. You should avoid him.” 

“Because he’s a Demon?” you mumbled.

 “I don’t know,” Jeno simply said. “It’s not important.” 

“It is important to me. I have no memories. If you want me to stay here, you need to trust me.” 

“Thing is-” Jeno threw the knife across the room. Its blade hit the poster and hung on the other wall exactly in the middle. The man walked towards it and grabbed it, feeling it with his thumb as if not completely satisfied. “-we don’t,” he finished. 

“It is not my fault I have a deadly touch.” 

“Maybe you’re a spy,” he commented, lifting one leg and putting the foot on the table. His combat boots were huge and the knife slid perfectly inside. 

“I am not a spy! I don’t have any memories.” 

“If you want to prove yourself, be quiet, and stay away from Haechan. That’s it.” 

You hated him.

You hated everyone.

Maybe that Mark dude was right. Maybe he was the hero and everyone here was the enemy.

Maybe you were conspiring against them.

Maybe Mark was your lover.

Maybe you were the spy.

Maybe maybe maybe. 

Deep in thought, you didn’t notice Haechan behind your back checking whether Jeno was ready. 

“We’re going in five,” his low but melodic voice announced, and you jumped in place. 

He was dressed for some kind of hunt too, you noticed - or assassination.

Haechan wasn’t carrying any swords or knives but the shadows curling around his legs told you he didn’t need any physical weapon to kill someone. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To catch a little bird,” Haechan replied, his back muscles flexing as he warmed up his wrists. Jeno was jacked, but you’ve never noticed how to fit Haechan was as well. 

“I’m coming with you,” you crossed your arms on your chest, faking confidence. If they were going to meet Mark, you needed to be there as well. Maybe seeing him would make you gain your memories back or make you understand something about that crazy situation.

If what they were saying was true, you weren’t of that universe, you didn’t have a home or a sweet grandma.

You had nothing to lose. 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I have magical powers,” you reminded them, the thing still surreal to you. You had no clear idea of how to use them. 

Haechan chuckled. 

“Mark would probably want to see me,” you tried again. 

Haechan’s jaw clenched. His eyes were as sharp as Jeno’s knives when he looked at you, like two dark cuts in that perfectly spectral face.

“This could be a trap,” Jeno’s voice was grave. 

“What kind of trap can this be if I don’t even know where you’re going?” you scoffed. 

“She has a point,” Haechan shrugged.

You hated how they always talked about you as if you weren’t there. 

“Listen, you’re a Demon,” you suddenly said to him. It sounded like an accusation although you didn’t mean it to be. “The Demon. Lucifer Demon.” you added. 

“What’s your point? Don’t waste our time.” 

“Are you really not capable of– I don’t know, entering my mind and seeing if I am actually conspiring with this Mark dude or not?” 

“You’d have a mental block anyway. Mark came in contact with you and sent you here. That is for sure, even if you don’t remember it. The reason why you’d accept to do that-” he interrupted himself, “that’s what we don’t know. And that’s why we don’t trust you.” 

“What if I was just trying to find you?” you tried.

Haechan’s eyes shone but he shook his head. “Impossible.” 

“Why? If I understood everything correctly, you guys suddenly left my home Universe. Maybe I wanted to find you again.” 

Haechan’s mind went back to the last words you told him.

“It’s all your fault. If you knew all of this from the start, you should have just let me go.”

“I don’t think you’d do that,” he simply said and turned around. 

You felt powerless. 

“Haechan, please. Let me come with you,” you whispered. 

The Demon stopped in his tracks and exhaled as if annoyed. Then with a snap of his fingers, you got covered in firm black combat clothes. They were so heavy that you almost fell backwards. 

“Just keep up with us if you don’t want to be left behind,” he mumbled, descending the stairs. 

Jeno grunted and followed him. 

“So, she is a weakness after all, deadly touch or not,” you could hear Jeno comment. 

“Shut up.” 

 Holding Jeno’s hand to travel the space-time wasn’t as unpleasant as you initially thought. No falling and no head spinning. Just close your eyes and open them to a different place. 

The unpleasant thing was his reaction though.

Jeno let go of your hand as soon as he could. You could almost see the way he had to force himself to not clean it on his pants. 

You wondered if given other circumstances Haechan would have been the one holding it for you. 

Your eyes darted to his fingers wrapped in something that reminded you of a sword but it was made of pure shadow instead. Then your pupils focused on the surroundings. It looked like an abandoned warehouse, nothing majestic and Archangel-like.

What if they couldn’t find Mark there?

“But you did find me,” a melodious voice whispered behind you. You screamed and turned around. Haechan tried to move between you two, but Mark was quicker. 

One palm cupped your face and the other one slid on your waist. His lips felt warm and soft on yours, slightly ajar to make them fit almost perfectly together. 

“Hello, my love. Thank you for bringing them to me,” he smiled. 

You didn’t have time to process anything.

Mark - or whomever the person in front of you was - disappeared from your sight, harshly knocked down by Haechan’s thighs, tightly pressing on his throat. 

“If you fucking dare to touch her again I will kill you.” 

The view was impressionable, and you realized you were shaking.

On the surface they were just two young men, one on his back and Haechan knee on his throat, eyes hidden by the black straight hair you understood by now was his real appearance, and the tattoo on his neck finally fully visible - Donghyuck. 

But it was their energy that you could feel, like two black holes about to meet and merge in the most explosive event in history. 

“Unleashing your full powers on me, Haechannie? I haven’t seen you like that in so long.” Mark’s clear and calm voice echoed in the warehouse.

Jeno took a step, and you felt his hand lightly push you behind him.

He looked tense. 

“And who do we have here? Commander Jeno Lee went to the dark side?” 

Mark’s carbon eyes moved from Haechan to the other man. Jeno’s expression didn’t change but you saw the way his forearm’s veins looked more prominent. 

Haechan groaned, pushing his knee further into Mark’s throat. “Enough talking. You sent her to kill me, yes or no?” 

Mark didn’t look bothered although a choking sound came from his mouth, as if he was letting Haechan do that.

In fact, he grinned, with perfect white teeth, and appeared in a different spot of the warehouse, at a good distance.

Jeno’s arm snaked around you as if he was afraid Mark would take you with him and Haechan just slowly got up on his feet, as if he also let Mark do that. 

“Y/N, darling, did I send you to kill Haechan?” Mark looked at you and you eyed his lips, moving slowly around the letters of your name, the same lips that kissed you just moments ago. 

Haechan’s gaze was heavy, staring at every glance you and Mark exchanged as if he could read into that. 

“I didn’t. You chose to come here and kill him yourself, right?” Mark answered for you.

And what you saw next made you gulp and want to lean on someone, but Jeno took a step away, as if he saw that fragment of memory too and didn’t want to be close to you anymore.

 “A tarot shop?” 

Mark nodded. 

“And he’s there.” 

He nodded again. 

“How do I reach him?” 

Mark extended one hand on the table. You looked at his fingers. The palm was facing up and he had one faint scar in the middle of it. 

“Touch me,” he whispered.

 “Enough,” Haechan’s voice was loud and deep.

You looked at him and his eyes were bloodshot with hidden rage. 

“Unfortunately, I can’t get your memories back because you were the one erasing them but I can show you mine,” Mark spoke to you. “If you don’t remember me at least I hope you can sense what we,” he stopped as if a bit embarrassed, “shared together in the past, my love.” 

You felt your throat close. Mark was standing there, chiselled face and perfect posture, his wide eyes looking angelic and the light shining from his essence as he extended his hand towards you calling to you. 

Then you looked at Haechan, shadows slowly creeping around his feet and his eyes, sending shivers down your spine. 

“You tricked us the whole time,” Jeno growled but Haechan stopped him with a hand on his chest. 

“Stop it. Don’t humiliate yourself.” 

“You pretended all of that time. You make me sick,” Jeno didn’t stop. 

His rage was burning so you took a step back. You had no idea what to think.

Mark appeared near you, but you didn’t know if you should feel any safer. 

If what Mark was saying was true, he was your lover and for some reason you forgot, you decided to find Haechan and kill him, thus explaining your killing touch. A

nd from Jeno and Haechan’s reaction you must have become their friend while working in incognito and now they felt betrayed. 

It all made sense. It all clicked together.

But for some reason you felt sick. 

“Mark,” you whispered, slowly turning towards the Archangel. The tattoo of a pair of wings was shining on his arms in the same ink as the name on his neck. 

“Yes?” he grabbed your hands with both of his and you let him do that, staring at the perfect nails for a moment. 

“If you’re a good angel, why do you collaborate with hellhounds?” you simply asked, your fingers grabbing his palms tightly and making him wince in pain. 

“Now!” you yelled. 

Haechan appeared behind his back and grabbing his throat they disappeared together from your sight. 

Your knees felt wobble and you sunk on them. Whatever magic trick you’ve done to Mark it took all energy from your body. 

“Where are they?” you wondered. “You need to follow.” 

Jeno took a few steps forward, eyes staring away as if ready to see them appear back anytime soon. “Haechan would kill me if I leave you alone and vulnerable. He can handle it alone.” 

A cold sensation wrapped you. “They’re going to kill each other.” 

“That’s the goal, yes.” 

“Why? Why do they hate each other that much?” 

“That’s a tale Haechan has to tell. I’m not sure of the reasoning myself,” he replied then turned to face you, eyeing you sitting down on the freezing and dusty warehouse floor. “Why did you help us?” 

“I didn’t help you.” 

“You didn’t go with Mark.”

“I don’t trust him. And no, I don’t trust you two either. I don’t trust anyone. I will not trust any of you. I helped myself.”

Jeno’s inquisitory gaze danced on you and his jaw flinched as if thinking whether that was another trick of yours or not. 

“I got involved in something that has nothing to do with me,” you continued, a burning rage finally warming your body. “And that dude Mark is lying.” 

“How do you know?” 

You gulped, staring at your shaking hands, resting on your knees. “I don’t know. I can feel it.” 

“You’re a Slytherin,” Haechan’s rough voice made you jump in place. “You people can sense lies.” 

He appeared a few steps away from where he disappeared. 

“Are you okay?” you couldn’t help but ask, swiftly getting on your feet. 

Haechan walked the distance and grabbed Jeno’s hand. The latter’s eyes unfocused as if he was downloading information then he nodded and disappeared. 

“Don’t ask me questions as if you care,” his breath was heavy, and he unclasped the hard outwear to reveal the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath.

He lifted it.

Silver shadows were tangled around his torso, on his skin, and he groaned as if they were painful.

You didn’t notice when Jaemin came around, his hands on your back making you yelp. 

“Take her home. I can’t touch her,” was the last thing Haechan said before you saw the darkness. 

 When you opened your eyes you were on the couch of that same apartment, familiar voices discussing in the background.

For a moment you wondered if everything you’ve been through has been a dream and if those voices were your family you couldn’t exactly remember because of the hazy of the dream.

But when you opened your eyes, reality crashed back on you. 

“...lost him after that. Sent a few of them to Hell,” Jeno was narrating, sitting tall on a chair with crossed arms on his chest. 

Haechan was mirroring him, sitting backwards on another chair, a tired Jaemin working on something on the Demon’s back.

The silver strips. 

“Thank you, man,” Haechan murmured and Jaemin winked at him. 

“What were they?” you asked, sitting up and feeling your head heavy. 

Jaemin grabbed the strips he presumably took from Haechan’s body and sighed. “Angelic snakes or some weird stuff like that.” 

You grimaced as Jaemin went outside to probably get rid of them. 

“Why that face? You’re a Slytherin. Snakes are your thing,” Jeno commented. 

You understood by now that everything they said made no sense to you. 

“Where is Mark?” you asked instead. 

The two men exchanged a look. “He escaped,” Haechan was the one to reply. 

You took in the information. 

“I guess you’re delighted I didn’t kill your lover,” he added. 

“He is not my lover,” you replied back, still unsure of the dynamics. Haechan’s gaze was grave, and you felt unable to look away. Jeno sensed you two would get into a serious talk and wisely decided to walk outside the room in silence. The air felt thick and heavy afterwards. 

“Can you just-,” you started, “can you do what Mark did? Show me some of your memories?” 

Haechan looked away and grabbed his t-shirt, wearing it quickly. “What memories?” he asked.

“Of us.”

“None of them are exciting,” he replied as if wanting to end the conversation there. 

You stood on your feet and walked the distance towards the chair Jeno abandoned. 

“You said we were acquaintances. Mere colleagues in University. Yet you reacted like my betrayal, or whatever the hell I supposedly did to you, could almost kill you.” Haechan scoffed. “I didn’t react that dramatically.” 

You didn’t say anything else, your gaze connected with his in a silent order as you sat down in front of him. 

The young man sighed and you didn’t see him anymore.

You saw yourself in a uniform, a loose green tie around your neck. You were in Haechan’s body, staring at his memories from his point of view. Haechan jolted at the sudden foot hitting his ankle. 

“If you don’t stop being so fucking creepy to women I’ll make you stop with my own hands,” you said.

Then the scene changed. Haechan swiftly put one hand on your nape and the other on your mouth in a mortal clasp. "That’s not something the whole campus needs to know, now, what do you think?" His whisper was so close that you smelled the sweet chewing gum on his tongue.

Then another day, you were writing in his hand because he took away your voice. “Oh my God, stop or people are going to think you’re into me,” he giggled teasingly. You let his hand suddenly fall and looked around scandalized. You could see the way you were flustered.

Then another. You were leaning on a wall, with Haechan in front of you. “Are you nervous?” he asked genuinely, gaze dropping to your chest as if he could actually see your heart through your flesh. You inhaled scandalized and covered your breasts with your arms.

Then other scenes, going quickly.

A peck in a corridor, then a full-blown kiss.

The feeling of his lips.

His hands on you.

His deep voice.

“So are you into demons? That’s why you’re into me?”

His thumb circling your back.

You sitting in his lap. His body pressed against you. A room filled with water, both wet, making out, his mouth on your bare breasts, your moans, his fingers inside of you, you palm swiftly around his-

“Okay enough!” you got on your feet. 

You were panting and you could feel your body on fire. You brought a hand to your throat as if it could help you swallow the sudden lump.

You walked away from him, taking a few steps, but then you stopped, unsure of what to do with yourself. 

“It’s okay. Don’t panic,” Haechan’s low voice was surprisingly sweet. 

You eyed him for a moment. He didn’t look bothered like you, safe for the shining eyes and the nervous fingers pulling at a single thread of his shirt. 

“How do I know this is the truth?” your voice was a whisper. 

When you asked him to show you his memories you somehow didn’t expect you two to have been that… intimate. 

“You said you know when people lie. What do you think? You think I’m lying?” 

Your rational side was screaming at you to say yes, to run away from Haechan and his shadows, but your gut was pushing you towards him instead.

You didn’t know whom to trust. 

“I don’t know.” 

“I don’t know if you’re lying either,” he replied. “I don’t trust you. And now you know why your betrayal,” he paused as if unsure of what words to use, “was so surprising.” 

“I don’t trust myself either,” you sat on the couch, away from him. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m a spy or not. I don’t know if I originally decided to kill you or not. I don’t know if I’ve always lied to you even when we-” you interrupted yourself and gulped, the flashes of his mouth on you making you dizzy. “So you’re doing well. Don’t trust me. Because I don’t know anything.”

The silence felt heavy and you could see the same inner fight inside of Haechan as well. 

“Why did you stay with us?” Haechan looked young and vulnerable in his chair.

He looked the most human you’ve ever seen him. 

“Do I have a choice?” 

“You could have gone with him.” 

“I don’t even know him.” 

“Do you know me?” 

You bit your lip. “Somehow I think I do.” 

Haechan’s eyes felt almost warm and the setting sun made his skin lit up like honey.

How could Demons look like that?

You had no idea how you were looking at him but he suddenly sat up and turned around, one hand in his fluffy - and now back to brown - curls. “Ah, you’re fucking with my brain,” he mumbled. 

You closed your eyes and sighed. “I am not.” 

Haechan chuckled dryly. “For being a hag of a dark entity you’d think I would be more capable of not being manipulated. The human world always messes up with me,” he added the last phrase quietly, almost to himself only. 

“I am not manipulating you. Since I’ve met you, in this world,” you precised, “I’ve done nothing but be truthful with you. I have no memories so of course I have no idea of my previous intentions and I don’t know if I am here now to look for you because I love you and you abandoned me or to kill you. Maybe both.” 

Haechan’s eyes lit up at your words and he looked at you over his shoulder first.

Then he walked the distance so quickly that you inhaled and took small steps behind until hitting the couch with your calves. 

“I will be delusional for a moment and believe Mark looked for you after I,” he gulped, “left, and you were angry at me enough to start working with him and come and kill me.” His voice was an intimidating whisper and you couldn’t help but feel the tension in all of your muscles. He has never been this close.

You could feel his warm breath on your face and the scent of his cologne. Your thigh muscles started to shake and you didn’t know if it was because of the effort of staying away from him, fear, anger, or-

“Would that make sense?” he continued. If he noticed your reaction his face didn’t communicate it. 

“Why not?” 

“Would your love turn into hate this quickly? Or maybe there wasn’t any love there in the first place and all of this time you’ve just been fucking that son of a bitch while playing me. Which one makes more sense?” 

“You want me to hate you so badly,” you lifted your chin. Your thigh muscle stopped shaking and you leaned in.

Haechan flinched but he didn’t move away. 

“You want me to look you in the eyes and scream that I hate you and I want you dead because it would make things for you easier, right? Why aren’t you honest with yourself?” 

Haechan inhaled then scoffed. “You want honesty? What do you want me to say? That I’m happy to see you? That I hoped you actually came to find me? That it kills me to not be able to touch you because I might go to hell while that jerk can kiss you? That I might go insane anytime soon and actually touch you even if that means I’d go to the damned hell and take this whole shitty world with me? Fuck,” he turned around and you could only stare at his back getting farther away as he walked towards his chair, his shoulder blades moving up and down following his heavy breath. 

You put a hand to your chest, feeling your own breath just as quickly. 

“You already know about my touch. What else would have I prepared for your downfall? Nothing. I have nothing on you. You can trust me now.” 

“You destabilize me. I am on a mission. I have a task and you’re here and all I think about is you. This is what you have on me.” 

“This is also why you left, right? Your grand mission. Much more important than anything else. Much more important than me.” 

Haechan didn’t say anything. 

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone.” 

“You can’t go anywhere,” he turned around. 

“I’m not welcome here.” 

“He’ll get to you.” 

“Let him come.” 

“Y/N.”  

“Haechan.” 

His name took you both by surprise. 

“What do you want me to do then? Lock myself in a room forever so I don’t bother you and your task? I can’t be here, I can’t go away. What do you want me to do?” 

“Just stay here. I’m not a piss boy. I can handle your presence,” he finally murmured. “And you can come in now,” he said louder. 

Jeno and Jaemin awkwardly entered the living room. 

“Thank God, I was starving and the fridge is on the other side of this fucking house.” 

 You didn’t sleep much at night.

The conversation you had with Haechan kept replying in your head.

His words, his feelings, his eyes, the scenes he played out for you. 

You felt exhausted.

So much happened in the past couple of days that you felt like a brand new person. 

You learned a lot but you didn’t gain any memories. They were tales told to you but you couldn’t find them in your brain or heart.

Was Haechan truly the one he said he was? Was Mark setting you up? Why did he pretend he was your lover then? Why did he kiss you? So many questions and infinite possibilities.

What if Haechan was right? What if you’ve always been on Mark’s side and you tricked him? But what if you actually fell in love? Or what if you were just looking for him? What if Mark was tricking you all? 

You huffed and rolled on one side. Why didn’t Haechan bring you with him? Why did he leave you? You exhaled. You rolled on the other side. 

“Stop huffing and moving. I can’t fall asleep.” 

You opened your eyes in shock. 

“What?” you thought. 

“I said-” 

You sat up. “Why are you in my brain?” 

Haechan’s roll of eyes could be almost heard through the walls. “We’ve done this before. It’s called talking telepathically.” 

“How is this possible?” 

“I’m a Demon.” 

“And me?” 

“I don’t know. Technically you shouldn’t be able to reply back. Mark must have given you some sick powers while you two were fucking.” 

You let yourself fall down on the pillows and crossed your arms on your chest. 

“Again with this story. We’re not fucking.” 

“You wouldn’t know that.”

“I’m not a cheater,” you were growing irritated. 

“We have never dated. I wouldn’t blame you for it.”

“The thought pisses me off.” 

Haechan didn’t reply but you could sense he was amused and pleased. You didn’t like that he infiltrated your head but a heaviness in your chest disappeared after seeing him in a good mood. 

“How did you get into my head?” you asked again. 

“You don’t have any blocks. Thought you did.” 

“Does it mean you can look and see if I am lying or not?” 

“I’d need to touch you for that.” 

Right. 

“Can Jeno do it?” 

“No.” 

“I thought he was also a Demon with your same powers.” 

“He’s capable of doing it. But I will not allow it.” 

“Why not?” 

Haechan hesitated. “It’s very invasive.” 

“Is it dangerous for me?”

“I’m not letting Jeno Lee see the depths of you.” 

Oh. 

Oh. 

“Alright,” you thought. “I will try to fall asleep so your demonic ass and your superhuman hearing can also rest.” 

You expected Haechan to chuckle or at least reply with a grunt but whatever mind connection there was it disappeared. 

You sighed and turned around again, fluffing the pillow with one hand. But the moment you closed your eyes you heard his voice in your head, low and warm but clear.

“I am sorry for abandoning you.” 

You opened your eyes. 

Haechan continued. “I thought I was making the right choice. You said you didn’t want to do anything with me anymore. I thought we were over.” 

You didn’t know what to reply to. 

“If I don’t complete this fucking important mission as you call it, I will vanish.” 

“Why can’t both things coexist?” you asked. 

“You’re human,” he simply said. “I thought you’d live a good life without me. I erased your memories. I don’t understand-” he interrupted himself and you didn’t know why. You felt a sudden lump in your throat and you didn’t know if it were you or you were just sensing his emotions. “-I don’t understand how you got here. This is why I don’t believe you came to look for me. Because you couldn’t have remembered me in the first place.” 

You felt tears prickle your eyes. 

“This is the moment to tell me the truth, please, Y/N. Maybe you enjoy torturing me but it’s too late to keep playing. Just tell me the truth.” 

“I swear-” you started, “I have no idea. I wish I could tell you.”

No thought came from Haechan for a moment then he said a single “Alright.” 

“Haechan?” 

“Yes.” 

“In the warehouse,” you started. “Right before Mark appeared, I had a thought.” 

Haechan waited. 

“I thought what if we can’t find him there. And the first thing he said-” 

“But you found me,” Haechan completed the thought for you. “I don’t know if he can read your mind or whatever Archangels ended up being able to master all of this time I’ve been away. But it could also mean you might have a connection with him.” 

“What kind of connection?” 

“The spell you have on yourself. Your deadly touch. He obviously put that on you. I don’t know if by force or if you accepted it willingly. But it might explain things.” 

“Do you think he can- listen now?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Doesn’t that scare you?” 

“He can listen either way. And if you keep thinking about me maybe it will piss him off.” 

You lifted one eyebrow, the flirty reply to your serious concern making you scoff. 

Haechan didn’t say anything else but you could still sense his presence. It was weirdly comforting and it lulled you to sleep. 

 In the morning you discovered Jeno and Jaemin were on their missions to bring the famous Doyoung and Selene together. You didn’t even know them, but they were kind of pissing you off. The fact they needed a Demon to bring them together instead of actually working on it themselves was also ridiculous. 

Haechan was downstairs, sitting down at his Tarot desk and staring into a glass globe. 

“Are you actually spying on them? Like a stalker?” 

The young man chuckled as you walked behind his back. 

“That can’t be legal,” you added and sat down on the other chair in front of him.

Haechan lifted his eyes under his soft fringe and a mischievous twinkle sparkled in them. 

“I am an evil Demon,” he reminded you. 

You took a sip out of your coffee and sighed. “Well, I guess this is the least evil thing you’ve done off of your list of crimes.” 

Haechan passed one hand on the ball and the images disappeared. 

“Does that thing really work or is it your demonic power?” 

“Just my demonic power,” he smiled. 

“The tarots too?” 

Haechan looked at the pile of cards with fondness. “Yeah. They’re just paper.”

“So did you choose the cards on purpose for me to pick?” you felt amused but betrayed. 

“Actually,” he was still staring at the cards, “I didn’t.” 

You looked at them too. “May I?” you asked and Haechan gave you a single nod. 

The cards were luscious in your hands and felt expensive. You stared at the images on them. 

“You said I had a task.” 

Haechan’s eyes were on your fingers, unsuccessfully trying to shuffle them. 

“I could feel that. Everything I said during the reading is true. You have a task and I wanted to see what it was about in your head, but-” 

Your mind went back to his scream and the way he plopped on the floor as he touched your hand. 

“Do you still think I am here to kill you and that I work with Mark?” 

Haechan shrugged. “At this point I don’t know if I care.” 

That stung your heart. 

“What happens when you’re done with this Universe?” 

“I move to another. And another. And another.” 

You took a card from the pile and turned it towards you. Two of cups. 

Haechan’s eyes fell on it too. 

“And what about me? Are you going to take me with you so you’re not living in fear of me randomly attacking you or will you bring me back to my old Universe and erase my memories the way you did it once?” 

The card had two people on it, both with a cup in their hands. Above them was a lion with angel wings. Below it was a caduceus - the medical symbol with two snakes.  

“I still don’t know,” was Haechan’s answer. 

“What does this card mean?” you lifted your gaze to realize Haechan was already looking at you, chin resting on his fingers. The sun was shining brightly, the last rays of the sun for that year, and his eyes looked like fudge. If you didn’t know better you’d think he was about to lean in and kiss you. 

“Union,” he started. “Attraction. Love.”

You gulped and broke eye contact to stare at the card again. 

“Longing for someone,” he continued. “Healing broken ties. Being drawn to someone.” 

You felt difficulty breathing. 

“Discovering a feeling is mutual,” he finished in a whisper. 

You dared to look up again and regretted it. The sensation of him caressing you with his mind crept into your body. 

“Don’t do this.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” he replied. 

“You’re doing something right now. My body feels-” you interrupted yourself feeling very ashamed. 

Haechan smiled. “That’s called being turned on.” 

“Well, stop turning me on with your demonic powers then.” 

“That’s just human,” he explained. 

You wanted to get up and run away but your knees felt weak. But if you stayed there you were afraid you would end up touching him. His hand was on the desk, mere centimetres away from you. 

“I am dangerous for you. Please go away,” you almost mewled. 

“Mark really has a hidden sense of humour,” Haechan exhaled, stretching his arms back and sliding his chair away from the table. It looked as if it took him a huge amount of effort to do that. 

“He doesn’t want me dead. He wants to torture me,” he added, eyes staring at the ceiling. 

“Can I ask what he is for you?” You felt better to have Haechan at a healthy distance and the air started to flow normally in your lungs. 

“I don’t even know,” the Demon murmured. “We used to be friends. Then he betrayed me. In his perspective, I betrayed him, so I am not sure of the current dynamics.” 

You remained quiet.

Haechan’s adam’s apple moved up and down in his throat and you realized you were staring at his silky skin when his gaze connected with yours instead. 

“I don’t think I could ever have any desire to kill you,” you found yourself murmuring. 

The young man’s lips stretched in a little smile. His dark and lazy expression felt like burning your face and at that point you had no idea if it was his demon powers or just human emotion as he said. 

“I am glad,” he replied. 

“I really wish you could trust me. I can help you.” 

Haechan got up, the tarot cards still spread in front of him. He dragged his fingers on top of them when a card flipped out. It was the Knight of Swords. 

“How?” he asked although his furrowed eyebrows gave him the air of already knowing the answer. 

You got up as well. “I can spy for you.” 

He shook his head before you could finish. 

“Haechan-”

“No. I can’t bear the thought of you with him.” 

You closed your mouth. His silver tattoo was slowly appearing on his neck and the way his hair darkened all of a sudden gave you the impression that he was losing control. 

You really wished you could touch him. 

“Aren’t you curious as to why I am here? How I got here? In another universe? Why I am still me and not my counterpart?” 

“Yes, but you will not do anything about it. I’ll take care of it.” 

“Haechan,” you took a few steps towards him. The man turned around. 

“Stop saying my name like that,” he sounded pained. 

His back was right in front of you, wide in his black t-shirt. You didn’t notice the tattoo he had on it, peeking a bit from under his collar to his nape. You wondered how the design looked like and why he concealed it before - what that meant for him. 

“I can almost feel your gaze on me,” he whispered. 

“What happened when I touched you? Was it painful? Was it really hell?” 

Haechan didn’t reply for a few moments, and you bit your lower lips. Perhaps you shouldn’t have asked. 

“You don’t have to know,” he turned around slowly. His scent engulfed you in the movement and you felt your throat close.

Maybe you looked at each other for too long. Or maybe you were imperceptibly getting too close, but he inhaled. 

“We can’t,” he added with the same tone. You didn’t know what expression you had on to make him say that, but you knew what he was talking about. 

“I know,” you whispered. “I know,” you repeated, rubbing your knuckles on one temple. But you couldn’t move away. “Fuck.” 

You turned back your seat and exhaled. 

Haechan was motionless in the same spot. 

“What does the Knight of Swords mean?” you asked, eyeing the flipped card. You desperately needed to think about something else. 

The young man turned around the chair and sat on it with his chin resting on his folded arms. 

“Action,” he simply replied. 

You smiled. “That’s it?” 

Haechan’s expression relaxed. He hummed. “Do I look like an actual Tarot Reader to you?” 

You chuckled. “To be honest, not at all. When I first arrived here I was expecting some old lady or something.” 

Before you could add something else an older lady was sitting in Haechan’s place and you suppressed a little scream.

“Oh my God. Can you actually do that?” you put one hand to your mouth.

The lady chuckled slowly. “Cool, huh?”

“Okay okay, go back, please. This is creeping me out.”

Haechan’s features appeared back on the woman’s face, and he was there again. You looked at each other for a longer moment and you forced yourself too look away.

“Is there any fun reading I can get? I’m sick of future and predictions.”

Haechan hummed. “There is one.”

You stared at his ring then at his wristwatch, not wanting to risk looking him in the eyes again.

“What is it?”

“Would you be interested in knowing your sexual energy?”

You rolled your eyes with a scoff. “You’re going to make it all up on the spot, aren’t you?”

Haechan’s little smirk was daring. “Try it out and don’t blame me if it’s too accurate.”

You exhaled and stared down at the spread.

You grabbed a random card and turned it around.

“Chariot is self-restraint. Quiet alone time. Might indicate edging or masturbation.” 

You gulped. “You can’t possibly know all that from a card, can you?” 

Haechan chuckled and shrugged. 

“Do you want another card?” 

You inhaled and bit your lower lip. You wanted to prove him wrong. With a decisive movement you flipped another card and watched the way Haechan stared at it. It was the Devil. You lifted your chin. 

“Now don’t tell me I’m into chains and stuff because it’s drawn on it.” 

Haechan’s eyes shone under his eyelashes. “No. This is Temptation. You want something very badly although you know it’s bad for you. It’s about wants, desires, lust, carnality, senses, pleasure and all things erotic-”

“Alright!” you stopped him. 

Haechan licked his lower lip as if enjoying himself way too much. “The object of desire can be some kind of forbidden love, or-” he stopped. 

You waited. 

“It’s the Devil card. Maybe you really desire, I don’t know, some kind of Demon,” he concluded and you huffed when you realized where he was going with that. You grabbed the card and threw it at him. He caught it with his perfect teeth and laughed. 

“You’re playing with me right now.” 

“I am being truthful. Pick another card.” 

You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves. The last card was the Queen of Wands. It looked innocuous and you wondered what story Haechan will make about it. 

“Mmm,” he hummed pleased. He grabbed it and turned it towards you, keeping it in front of his face. “Making me blush,” he murmured. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What does it mean?” 

“This is someone who is shy.” 

“I am not shy,” you tried to argue although your knees were starting to shake. 

“Then,” he thought about it for a moment, “modest. Takes a while to relax.” 

You gulped. His eyes looked feline and his voice sounded lower and smoother. 

“The virginity card,” he continued.

You opened your mouth to speak but you stopped. Haechan waited. 

“I have-,” you started then stopped again. “I don’t know if-” 

Your eyes searched for his as if he could have any information. Haechan’s cheeks bloomed with a very faint shade of red that you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t that close to him. 

“Last time I personally checked you were still a virgin, if that’s what you wanted to know,” he gave you the answer. “It doesn’t matter though. This card talks about wanting something pure, not necessarily the literal meaning. The sensation of doing it for the first time. Being taken care of,” he added. 

“Have we never-” you tried to speak again but couldn’t finish. 

“Virginity is a construct, it doesn’t exist.” 

You closed your eyes for a moment. “I know I know. Just- I just want to know what-” 

“We never had penetrative sex, no,” he concluded.

You wanted to hide at the choice of words. He chuckled. 

“Next card?” he offered. 

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore,” you rubbed your cheeks with the back of your hand to cool them down. But the little smile on his face and the intimate moment made you enjoy his company and you didn’t want it to end. So you flipped yet another one. 

Nine of wands. 

Your gazes met again after staring at the piece of paper. 

His lips looked plump when they moved to speak. The sun setting made the room dark and the few candles just accentuated Haechan’s jaw and the shadows on his chiselled face. 

“It means - keep going,” he murmured, “don’t stop, again, I can’t take this anymore, please.” 

The air felt heavy and you desperately wanted to walk away and get a breath of fresh air, but for some reason your brain was telling you the only way to breathe properly was by kissing Haechan’s lips. 

The sound that escaped his mouth was almost a plea, as you got up and placed both of your palms on the desk right in front of him. He lifted his face to see you. His eyes were begging and you didn’t know what for. 

“Tell me to stop,” you whispered. “Tell me to stop and I will,” you leaned down and Haechan’s soft fringe moved gently under your shaky breath. 

He gulped and the view of his desperate expression made you almost whine. “I don’t think I can take this anymore, please just-” 

You couldn’t finish the phrase. Haechan’s lips on yours felt better than you could have ever imagined and his hands grabbing at each side of your face, pulling you towards him made you melt in his touch. For a moment or many, you couldn’t think. You weren’t brain anymore or conscience. You were just lips and skin, just lungs to breathe in his scent. 

But then he wasn’t there anymore. The abrupt separation made you exhale and you opened your eyes. 

But Haechan didn’t disappear. He was in front of you, eyes wide open and shining, surprised as you.

You were probably mirroring his expression. “Are you okay?” you tried to speak. 

You lifted one hand to place it on his face as if not believing he was there, and he closed his eyes, letting his head rest better in it. “I am okay,” he whispered. Then he placed his own hand on top of yours, sliding his face to kiss your palm. Then he kissed it again. And again. Then he pulled you closer, getting up so fast you didn’t make sense of how he made you sit on the desk getting so close that the only thing you could do was wrap your arms around his neck and let him guide the kiss the way he wished. It was only when he started to adventure on your jaw instead, going around it to reach the soft spot under your ear that you managed to breathe out.

“What about-” your fingers dug into his shirt, gathering the material underneath them, “the curse? The touch?” 

Haechan ignored you, peppering wet kisses all over your throat, making your breath quiver and your legs tighten around his hips. 

Your hands moved from his hard shoulders to his hair, finally sliding your fingers into the thickness of it, feeling how soft it was. Every touch on your skin felt like burning and you didn’t know if it was good or bad but it felt so nice you didn’t want him to stop. 

“Haechan,” you moaned when he slid his thumbs on top of your bust, pulling down your shirt for a moment and the bra with it. His hands went to your spine, supporting you and pushing his face against your breasts, making you throw your head back. The view made him grunt and he came back to the base of your throat, sucking on the tender skin until it stung, and wetting the spots with his tongue. That tongue then slid into your mouth again, both whining into each other’s mouths, too hungry for touch to let yourselves breathe properly. 

“You look like you’re in pain. Are you sure you’re okay?” you managed to talk again as he rested his forehead on yours for a moment. 

“I am in pain because I feel like I’m going to cum in my fucking pants any moment now,” his eyes twinkled and your thighs twitched under his fingertips, gently going up and down on top of your jeans. “I don’t know why I am still here and not getting tortured somewhere underground right now but I want to make the most of it if perhaps I need to go soon.” 

The implication of that made your skin shiver. You didn’t know if you wanted to know what the most of it meant. 

“Are you scared?” he murmured against your ear. “You can tell me to stop and I will,” he repeated the same thing you told him. But just like him, you remained quiet. 

“Please take care of me,” you only whispered and Haechan’s eyes never got that dark, not even when he saw Mark. 

He could have snapped his fingers and gotten rid of your clothes, but instead he took his time, slowly sliding his fingers underneath your soft sweater, feeling the warm skin of your stomach, fondling your body until getting it off completely, all while his tongue never stopped swirling with yours.

The circles he drew on your back going to unclasp your bra could have been some ancient language that only expressed love because you couldn’t have imagined that kind of touch to mean anything else.

And when the fabric of the clothes touched the ground and you were naked in his arms he finally let your lips go, breathing heavily against them, and slid his t-shirt off by the collar, piling the indument on top of yours. His chest against you made you whine and grab at his toned body.

He was hot at the touch and his scent made you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck to get more, while his quick but delicate hands reached the button of your jeans. 

“Lift your hips for me, baby,” he murmured against the crown of your head and you did as he asked, supporting yourself on his shoulders.

He pulled at your bottoms, sliding them down your thighs, his gaze never leaving yours for a moment.

Your chest brushed against his nose and he reached down, peppering kisses all over your cleavage. You mewled when he let go to get rid of your jeans and you inhaled deeply, holding tight on the edge of the desk when he dropped on his knees to free your ankles off the fabric and started to gently kiss them. He came up your legs, accompanying his soft trails with his hands, feeling your body until reaching the softness of your thighs.

You imperceptibly tightened them and his eyes darted towards you. It was a silent command and you felt like covering your face with your hands as you opened wider for him. 

“Good girl,” his breath was hot and the sound of his voice vibrated along your skin getting you goosebumps. Your body was flinching at every touch and the closer he got the faster your chest rose and fell, until you couldn’t take it anymore and just moaned his name, pushing your hips against his face. You heard him chuckle and he didn’t waste any time. The feeling of his tongue on your clothed clit made you gasp and you pushed his hair off his forehead. 

“Can I mess up your hair?” you murmured.

“You can do whatever you want to me,” he replied, his husky voice travelling down your core and making your spine curve. 

You got it now. Everything Haechan showed you from his memories was true. The heaviness of his feelings, the desire, the fear, the passion, it was all real. 

You couldn’t imagine not being his lover. While you were there, spread for him and at his mercy, you couldn’t imagine not being on his side, not falling in love with him. 

The little tug at your panties made you focus your thoughts back on him.

“Are you perhaps getting bored, gorgeous?” he clicked his tongue. 

You felt like laughing and shaking your head. 

“I’m just thinking-” you started but the way your panties were slowly descending down your thighs and knees while Haechan wasn’t touching them made you interrupt yourself. 

“Yeah?” he kissed the inner thigh and you shivered, the thought of him seeing every centimetre of you from his position making you unable to focus anymore. 

“I was thinking that I am sure of it,” you repeated. 

Haechan’s soft and plump lips made their way further between your legs and you closed your eyes for a moment all breathy. 

“Sure of what, darling?” 

“That you’re my lover and I am definitely not here to kill you,” you explained with a certain difficulty. 

Haechan stopped right above your sweet spot and you had to bite your lower lip, the anticipation making you lose your mind. 

“A little kiss made you sure of it?” his eyes were dark but amused. 

He looked breathtaking. 

“You know it’s not just because of a little kiss.” 

Haechan’s breath was hot and tingly on your sensitivity. “I know,” he replied and didn’t give you any time to adjust as he gave you a slow and deep lick on your clit making you gasp loudly. 

He hummed pleased at the reaction and he repeated it, again and again until he was satisfied with the sounds you were making. Then he went lower, dipping his tongue inside of you, making you grab at his hair. 

“Oh my God,” you whimpered and you heard the buzz of his laugh at your word choice. 

Your thighs got closer as he increased the speed and you noticed the red tint of his ears pressed against your skin.

It made your chest bloom with affection and it just increased the shivers on your spine as he kitty licked and sucked on you, the hums against you sounding more and more hungry.

His hands felt wide on your ass as he pulled you even closer to his mouth and you had to support yourself on his shoulders. 

“Please,” you started to chant at the way he flicked his tongue. 

His jaw flinched and the moment he directed his gaze on you, two deep cuts under his messy hair, your whole body trembled in his arms.

He lifted his hands and you intertwined your fingers with his as with a last suck you came against his tongue. His name was on your lips like a mantra, laced with swears that to Haechan’s ears sounded like the most divine compliments. His warm mouth was still on you when your breath started to slow down and the little licks he’d give your pulsating pussy made your whole body jolt in spasms. 

“Enough, please,” you mewled at the overstimulation and Haechan listened, peppering kisses on your stomach instead, going up to gently bite the underside of your breasts, sucking on the spot, before giving your hard nipples a cheeky lick. 

You hummed, brain still mush from the high, but body already reacting to Haechan’s touch. He didn’t stop this time, letting you feel his wet and hot tongue, sucking on one bud then another, diligently.

Your legs wrapped around his waist and you let him slowly push you on the desk until your back was resting on top of the Tarot spread. With the corner of your eyes you saw the Devil card and you wondered if it was alright for you to get fucked on it. 

As if reading your mind Haechan murmured against your neck. “As much as I’d love to take you on this same desk you need to be loved properly on my bed instead.” 

His voice was so husky and deep that you felt yourself getting wet again and the way the stubble on his chin felt rubbing against your throat just stirred you even more. 

“I am not against you taking me on this desk,” you slid your palms on his face and brought it to yours, kissing him slowly. 

“That’s going to be for the next time, when I can bend you over it,” he replied against your lips and before you could realize it, your back hit a mattress instead and Haechan’s weight on top of you felt overwhelmingly good. His scent was all around you, his pillows, his room, the sheets you had to grab onto as you felt his delicate fingers dipping inside of you. 

The wet sound felt even dirtier in the dim lights of his bedroom, the deep silence interrupted only by the slow pumping and his mouth on your chest. 

His name came back on your lips and you found yourself spread even more for him to reach deeper inside of you. Like a switch, he found your sweetest spot and your body seized up, curling your toes in the air. 

“There it is. I didn’t forget it,” his amused whisper lingered on your lips, mixed with his moaned name. He curled his fingers so deliciously, hitting the same spot repeatedly as fast as your quick breath. 

“I am going to cum, I am going to-” your quickening voice announces and Haechan hummed deeply. 

“Yeah? Cum for me again, baby, let go.” 

“Fuck,” you dug your nails into his body and the last thing you saw was his veiny forearm stilling between your legs as you pushed your head into the pillows. 

“Good good girl,” Haechan’s voice brought you back from the radio silence your brain threw you in. “You need to relax a bit so I can get my hand back,” he added with a light chuckle and you realized his fingers were still buried deep inside of you as you clenched around them. 

You tried to catch your breath and focus your gaze on him. Not once in your life you’ve felt that inebriated. 

And when you felt his wet fingers on your lips you just opened your mouth and sucked on them slowly with a hum, letting your tongue on the underside of them. 

Haechan inhaled. “I know you’re so fucking dirty. I just want to discover it little by little,” he leaned against your ear, sliding his fingers off your mouth. You let them go with a plop and gulped as he dragged that wet hand on his lower stomach, putting a little show for you as he reached his cock and lazily stroked it. He groaned softly and the small fuck that escaped your mouth at the view made him lean back down, resting his wide hand near your pillow and making you watch the way he aligned himself to your needy pussy and softly pushed inside. 

You pressed your face against his forearm at the sensation, grabbing at his bicep and he exhaled. 

“God,” he murmured, “you’re perfect.” 

You whined again, feeling stretched and full and he searched for your eyes after stopping moving. “Are you okay?” 

He rubbed your face with one hand and kissed your cheek, then your temple. You let out a faint yes and wrapped his neck with your arms, pulling him into a deep kiss. You felt him growing inside of you a bit more and the thought of feeling him all made you clench. 

“You can move,” you whispered against his lips and he gave you another small kiss before gently pushing his hips forward. The first thrust was smooth and it made you open your mouth to breathe better, the second made you curl your toes and the third, deeper, made you roll your eyes back. 

“Demon or not you’re going to make me nut so fucking quickly,” Haechan’s voice was breathy. 

“You can cum wherever you want to,” you entangled your fingers in his hair. The man rubbed his face in the crook of your neck. 

“You can’t say stuff like that to me or I’ll break you,” he replied and as a demonstration his hips snapped and you gasped at the way he managed to bottom out. 

“Does it hurt?” he murmured and you shook your head unable to speak. “Does it feel good?” he tried with a little smirk and you nodded, wrapping your legs tightly around his hips. 

“Fuck, baby,” Haechan thrust once, then twice, until the wet sound got drowned by the skin-slapping sound of his hips against your ass.

Haechan’s bed started to creak and he pushed one hand on the headboard above your head, giving you a better view of his body moving inside of you. 

“Shit shit shit,” you grabbed at the sheets, pulling and twirling. Haechan grabbed them and held them on each side of your head, intertwining his fingers with you to let you squeeze as hard as you wanted to. His mouth was so close to yours but you were both unable to kiss. You’ve never thought of how hot a whining man could sound and the thought of you being responsible for those sounds made your head even dizzier. 

“I want you to cum inside of me, please,” you begged and Haechan moaned harshly against your neck. 

“Ah shit I can’t-” he choked on his breath and rose to his knees, pulling out frantically and releasing on your stomach. 

The view knocked the breath out of your lungs. His messy hair partially hiding his lustful eyes, his chest, his veiny hand still stroking his cock, his plump abused lips still letting small groans escape. 

His cum was hot on your skin and you desperately wanted it inside of you. 

“Give me a second if you don’t want my child,” he exhaled, a lingering amusement on his now relaxed expression. 

“What are you trying to do?” you asked, the thought stirring something in you. 

“Contraception,” he lifted one eyebrow. 

“And if I want the child?” you smiled. 

“Don’t mess with me,” he leaned down, giving you a quick peck. Whatever demonic magic he did was done already because he didn’t miss any more time. His cock felt heavy on your lower stomach, and when he started to rub it between your folds, his tip pushing against your clit, your arms flew back around his neck. The slick made him slide back in so easily that you could just gasp. 

“Hmm, yeah, you’re taking me so well.” 

The praise went to your fucked up head and you could just throw your head back and moan his name again.

The pace was so fast and his thrust so deep that you could feel him inside your gut. Haechan messily kissed your lips and face, murmuring low shhs and nothingness in your ears, laced with curses with his husky needy voice.

His body was hot, caging you underneath him and you felt so full and so safe, you felt loved and desired. 

The emotion that bloomed in your chest imitated the feeling nesting in your stomach, about to burst.

You wanted to tell him many things but you couldn’t find any good words, so you just pulled him tightly and brushed your lips together, chanting his name. 

“Cum for me again, baby,” he grunted and you spasmed in his arms as he pushed you into the mattress again and again until your shaky moans and eyes rolled back in your head making him still inside of you, feeling you rhythmically pulsating around him.

The sounds he made as he released inside of you were the most erotic thing you’ve ever heard in your life. 

 You jolted in your sleep, feeling around you and finding the bed empty but warm. 

“I’m still here,” Haechan murmured, his shadow getting closer. The bed dipped as he laid down and you inhaled his scent as he slid under the covers to pull you to his chest. 

“I thought-” you started but then stopped, the image of Haechan screaming on the ground after your touch still haunting you. 

“I didn’t go anywhere. I am fine,” he added. His arms felt strong around your shoulders and his gentle hands slowly rubbing your head and back were lulling you back to sleep. 

“Jeno said it’s possible that the curse lifted after we touched the first time. Single usage.” 

You lifted your head, resting your chin on his chest. You couldn’t clearly see his features but his eyes were shining in the dark. 

“You’re saying that we could have touched all of this time and we just didn’t?” 

Haechan’s soft chuckle warmed your face. “Mark humour I guess.” 

You rested your head back on him, listening to his calming heartbeat. 

“Are the guys back?” 

Haechan hummed. “It’s Christmas. Selene will arrive soon. I expect Doyoung to come by in the night of the New Year.” 

You nuzzled your head further into him and Haechan turned to the side, resting his face on top of your head. The little peck he left warmed you all up. 

“I want to come with you wherever you go,” you whispered.

Haechan didn’t comment. 

“Promise me,” you tried to lift your head to see his eyes again but a sudden light invaded your irises. 

You wanted to scream and ask what was going on, but Haechan was on his feet already with you behind his back. You put your hands on his back to balance yourself. 

“Oh fuck,” he exhaled and turned around. “Hold onto me tight! Never let go!” was the last thing you heard him say as the floor opened and swallowed you both. 

[kkakkungsoo]

There might be something going on here *sus*

[ohhmydyosfics]

(Nomin) lean on me (leave your mark behind)

Jaemin can confidently say that he peaked at age five.

"I can barely choose what I want to eat for breakfast, and now you tell me that I have to choose my own soulmate? That's crazy. That's too much responsibility for me."

[starrynima]

✨️THE DREAMIES IN HOGWARTS✨️

CONTENTS: SORTING THE MEMBERS, THEIR FAVOURITE SUBJECTS, EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACRIVITIES, FAVOURITE HANG-OUTS, PATRONUS, ETC.

MARK ♡ GRYFFINDOR

Mark values chivalry, determination and will do anything for what he thinks is right which is why he was sorted into Gryffindor.

Mark is a pureblood but his family embraces the muggle world too so while he has the revered status of a pureblood, he isn't snobby.

Of course, he's the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team (he's a chaser btw) while also being the head boy after two years of being a prefect. Even in this world, he is booked and busy!

Mark gets straight O's but his favourite subject is Transfiguration. He's a seventh year so he's very busy but if not studying or attending to his responsibilities as captain and head boy, Mark often hangs out at the common room.

Fun facts: Mark has an owl whose name is Subak. He sometimes tutors 1st and 2nd years on the weekends. He's missed multiple trips to Hogsmeade on purpose to study more. Mark has been to the room of requirements once when he was extremely sleep-delrived and it provided him a very relaxing room in which he spent a whole 13 hours sleeping. He doesn't remember where he found it. His patronus is, fittingly, a lion.

RENJUN ♡ RAVENCLAW

Renjun was sorted into Ravenclaw because he values intellect and has logical approach to things. He has a thirst for knowledge and learning.

Renjun is a half-blood and therefore has attachments to the muggle world. Not to worry! By his second year, he figured out a way to spell his phone to fully function in hogwarts.

Renjun took over as the head of S.P.E.W in his second year which had only 4 members at the time. He has managed to amass 30 more members during his leadership.

Besides his academic thirst, Renjun has a number of creative pursuits; one of them being painting. His favourite subject is Astronomy and despite it's doubtful reputation, he quite enjoys Divination. He's exceptional at Herbology. He studies often in the Great Hall with other sixth years as he likes to hear the hustle and bustle of other students while doing his work

Fun facts: The only rule Renjun consistently breaks is one regarding the Astronomy Tower which is out of bounds to students besides during class. He hangs out a lot there for peace and quiet whenever everyone got a bit too much. His patronus is a fox.

JENO ♡ HUFFLEPUFF

Jeno was told by the Sorting Hat that he was 50/50 for Gryffindor and Hufflepuff but ultimately was sorted in Hufflepuff due to what he truly cares about. He is loyal and patient and values dedication and hard work. A Hufflepuff through and through.

He is a pureblood and his family has a long history of Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, the former being his mum's side of the family.

Jeno is an exemplary student however, he was suprisingly not asked to be a prefect. Still, the rumours persist and insist that he's well on his way to becoming head boy. His responsibilities are preoccupied with being the Hufflepuff quidditch team's keeper (joining the team his 1st year!) as well as being the captain, a position he's held since his fourth year.

The subject Jeno excels at and is also his favourite is Care of Magical Creatures followed by Charms. Jeno is a quidditch boy at heart and so he is often found practicing in the quidditch pitch with or without the rest of his team.

Fun facts: The pet Jeno brought is a cat, Bongshik, who is actually a family pet. Though not a prefect, a lot of prefect duties fall upon him due to a certain best friend who rarely takes his duties seriously. Jeno can apparate but he doesn't like doing it as he never quite got rid of the quesy feeling he gets when he does it. Jeno's patronus is a Kneazle which is funnily a cat-like magical creature.

HAECHAN ♡ SLYTHERIN

Haechan was extremely determined to be a Slytherin and of course, he got his wish. His cunning, ambitious and extremely clever nature also helped get him into the house. Haechan is extremely competitive, willing to go to extreme lengths just to win. Sure, he uses tricks but he would never outright cheat because when he shows off, he wants it to be earned.

He comes from a long line of pure-bloods who were all Slytherin. Growing up, he had heard from his parents time in Hogwarts and always hoped that he could also have a fulfilling and nourishing time at the school.

Haechan, though is a bit of a rule breaker, is a prefect. He only became one on his 6th year as the initial candidate refused (something about focusing on his NEWTs). Despite his mischevious reputation, Haechan is usually one of the top in his classes, not getting a single grade below O in his OWLs last year. Along with his studies, Haechan is an excellent athlete, joining his quidditch house team in his 3rd year as one of the beaters.

Haechan is a an ace at Potions and despises Ancient Runes. He's skipped out on that class more times than he can count, preferring for Renjun to share his notes on them. Haechan can often be found hanging around in the courtyards, playing with Zonko's products and testing out some weird potions he's concocted.

Fun Fact: His reputation as a prankster reached legendary status on the End-Of-Year feast his second year before everyone went home for the summer when he spelled all the candles suspended above in the Great Hall to turn into green slime, drenching everyone then coming together to form a giant snake that slithered everywhere. This and many more pranks are partly why he wasn't the first candidate to be prefect. His patronus is a brown bear.

JAEMIN ♡ HUFFLEPUFF

The Sorting Hat almost put him in Ravenclaw but saw his uncompetitive and wild spirit and put this dude in Hufflepuff. He wants to do HIS best but doesn't care about being THE best or outdoing anyone. He values his friendships and is loyal to a fault. He's impartial and likes to focus on the happy parts of life.

He is a muggleborn but suprisingly (or unsuprisingly really) he took the being-a-wizard thing really well. When his letter arrived, he just kind of sat in silence for a good hour thinking about all the weird stuff that's happened to him beforehand and went "Oh, guess that's why".

Despite being new to it all, Jaemin quickly adjusted and is one of the most remarkable students in Hogwarts. A genius, if you will. He was made prefect in his 5th year because of this however, it is a position he does not take seriously at all. He never reprimands anyone at all as long as it's harmless. Jeno actually does a better job at playing prefect than him. He is also in the quidditch house team as a seeker.

He is known as a prodigy at Defence Against the Dark Arts, even beating out Ravenclaws as the top of his year. He's also extremely good at all his other classes. This is all very frustrating to everyone as no one has ever seen Jaemin study. He's usually seen lounging in the common room or hanging around wherever Jeno is so mostly he's at the quidditch pitch helping Jeno practice.

Fun Facts: Jaemin's pet is a Bowtruckle which he takes with him everywhere. Her name is Pal which has double meaning: the first as in 'friend' and second, the number eight which is the age he met the little Bowtruckle. His sweet tooth is very known. He has never missed a chance to visit Honeydukes on their trips to Hogsmeade to refill his stash of sweets. Jaemin's patronus is a bunny.

CHENLE ♡ GRYFFINDOR

Before the Sorting Hat could fully sit on Chenle's head, it shouted out "Gryffindor!". This boy is the perfect example of one. He's not scared of anything and he cannot be swayed. He may be playful but he would never back down when it comes to challenge. He is not influenced by structures and marches to the beat of his own drum.

His family is one of the oldest and richest families within the wizarding world. Despite the old traditions that you expect encases his family's beliefs and practices, he's one of the most accepting and truly embracing people.

Chenle used to not be much of an "after-school-club" kind of person but Renjun convinced him to not only join S.P.E.W. but also choir. Now he performs every Halloween and Opening Ceremonies at Hogwarts or any other event they get asked to sing at. He's not afraid to say he quite enjoys it.

He's great at Transfiguration and enjoys it a lot. He loves Defense Against the Dark Arts too. He hangs out mostly in the common room or library, annoying or helping Jisung out when he's studying, depending on his mood.

Fun Facts: He's a pretty brave dude, what with being in Gryffindor but he only had the courage to tell Haechan he absolutely despised Potions now, already in his 5th year. His patronus is a dolphin.

JISUNG ♡ GRYFFINDOR

Jisung was a close call to Hufflepuff but ultimately ended up in Gryffindor because that was what his heart and mind was set with. Although he is sometimes hesitant and kind of a scaredy-cat, he is brave and chivalrous. Remember! The presence of his fears is exactly why he's brave.

Jisung is a half-blood. His mother is the one part of the wizarding world. He never knew he was also a wizard and a lot of his strange magical behaviour was always excused away. It was only when his letter arrived that his mum explained everything.

He fell in love with quidditch as soon as he learned about it and immediately studied up on it. He practiced the months prior to going to Hogwarts his first-year and his mum taught him, having played in her house team when she was in school. He was welcomed in the team in his second year and is a seeker.

His only focus is quidditch but he does decently in his classes and above averagely in Charms. He does marvelously in Divination; enough for him to have a reputation for it. When he's not practicing quidditch, he tries to study, knowing he's about to start OWLS next year but he gets very easily distracted by Chenle. The armchair closest to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room is his favourite spot in the whole school.

Fun Facts: Jisung collects quidditch books. He has a growing bookcase at home and is very sad he can't take it all with him at school. He has an owl he calls Goldie becomes of its shiny and yellowish feathers. It reminds him of the golden snitch. His patronus is a mouse.

[sexygrass]

5. Revenge Must Be Served Cold

genre: smut, supernatural AU, soulmate au, vampires au, werewolf au, Sub/Dom dynamics, angst, mention of traumas, mention of torture, deaths of some characters, and blood, explicit language, fluff, mature content, sadism, lots of killing, and many plot twists.

Stepping out of his jeep black car, Johnny narrowed his eyes at the destroyed house. It was as if a hurricane passed by and damaged only their house. standing by the doorframe, his super hearing caught low grunts and whimpers. a gasp slipped past his lips at the scene and the splattered blood. "oh my god..."

following the source of the sound, he found Yuta in the hall with his arms and hands, thighs, and abdomen punctured with five sharp pickets; pinned to the wall, while bloodied three wooden plates were on the floor. with his free hand, Yuta was struggling to reach for the ones that were punctured into his left hand.

"I got you, I got you. I got you." Johnny kept chanting as he pulled the pickets out carefully, taking the last one, the red-haired vampire fell to the ground with a groan. "Doyoung, he's upstairs. hurry,"

whooshing upstairs, Johnny prays silently for his friend to be alive. The view of the dark-haired vampire struggling to reach the picket that was dug in the middle of his back had him stumbling. doyoung let out a pained cry when he couldn't move— as Samantha had pinned him to the ground with a picket too, "goddamn it, get out," he cussed, desperately. 

hearing footsteps nearing him, Doyoung turned around, alarmed, "It's me relax. Don't move. I'll pull it off." sucking at a breath, Doyoung clenched his jaw, "Johnny... I think there's a splinter inside and I can feel it scratch my heart," he cried out. Johnny pressed his lips and knelt behind his friend, "Don't worry. you're not dying, not like this."

Yuta stood up with a groan after stretching his sore body, hearing some of his bones crack, he sighed deeply as he rubbed his shoulder" That original bitch," he hissed under his breath. hearing a muffled buzzing, he looked around the messy room and caught the lit screen of a cell phone twinkling under the mess of the broken furniture; picking it up, he pulled it away from his ear at the loud sound.

"Johnny, where the hell are you?! go warn Taeil, hurry, he's in danger! I called five times, why didn't you pick up? hello? hello?!"  Taeyong's irritated voice for receiving no word from the other line boomed in Yuta's ears. 

"It's Yuta, Ty. Johnny is helping Doyoung right now....she already took him, Ty, she took him..." Yuta said in a dull voice and a gasp boomed from the other line. sucking at a breath, he felt the room close with tension, "We're on the way, hold on." 

heading upstairs, he saw Johnny's hand deep inside Doyoung's back, the latter keep cussing and hissing every time the American missed the wooden shred. "Okay, all done. get up now and stop acting like a bitch," Johnny fell back with a long sigh.

looking up, he catches his phone that yuta threw. "so, mind telling me what exactly happened?" leaning his head at the wall, Doyoung took a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

"Black-haired, blue-eyed, angry ex-girlfriend happened. To sum it up, Samantha Mikaelson happened."

...

hearing the brown-haired man grunt, Samantha drowned her drink and stood up. "rise and shine, my moon," snapping his neck her way, Taeil widened his eyes and stood up — well tried to stand up.

when he couldn't move, he took a second to realize what was stopping his movement. looking down at his feet, he saw them chained up to an iron table he was on. looking up, he saw his wrists also chained up above his head firmly. trashing his body in every direction, he growled.

"you won Samantha Mikaelson. you got me, would killing me now make up for the two centuries I took from you?" he taunted her with a smirk. her loud laugh sent chills down his spine, "I see," she shook her head, dark locks swaying over her shoulder, "you've gone cockier since the last time I saw you Moon Taeil." she smirked.

"let me remind you who you are and who I am, Moon Taeil," pressing her hands on his temple harshly, she entered his mind forcefully and purposely. hearing him grunt, she smiled.

few moments, she opened her eyes. "that what you were before me, sweety, a peasant, a servant at the Italian palace. a musician the king felt pity for so he took you in. Do you remember how the nobles were treating you or do you need me to remind you?" she gripped his chin harshly, making him face her.

"The insults, the mistreatment, the beating and humiliation that you endured for ten years till I found you. till I made you what you are. till I made you a man." she wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him up, making the chains tighten around his wrists leaving a red mark on them.

"I know you did not bring me here for chatting, kill me, and let's get this over with," he said in a dull voice making her bit the inner of her cheek. shaking her head, she sighed and pushed his head back.

"you are mistaken, Moon Taeil. mistaken at many points." she looked down at him. her eyes dancing with lust for hearing his helpless screams and desire for putting him in unbearable agonization pain.

" A: it was only a century, with a couple of years, more or less. B: you're going to beg for me to kill you and put you out of the exquisite pain I have prepared for you." looking at her with an expressionless face, he everted his gaze to the door that flung open.

seeing Taemin barging in, he started trashing his body in all directions, "Taemin!... you're on her side...? I thought you were our friend!" Taeil exclaimed, disappointment lingering in his voice. Taemin scoffed and handed his master a red box.

"she's and will forever be my sole ally, friend," the blond drawled, "recognize this?" Samantha held the bone blade in front of her face with a wide smile. Taeil looked at it horrified and shook his arms aggressively. 

"Stabbing me was the last thing I expected from you, Taeil," her voice dropped by an octave, hurt, and betrayal lingering in it. even her eyes color changed into a midnight-deep blue as if pain and disappointment were swimming in them.

"at some point, I start seeing you as a family, someone I could trust. I even start caring about you, I used to like you, you were a needed fresh air in my suffocating life. I told you that before, haven't I, Moon Taeil?" She sighed and held the blade above his chest. "I think saving you that day at Tuscany was a wrong idea." his breath caught in his throat watching the deadly dark magic object that was about to pierce through his heart. "Why?" he breathed out. 

tilting her head at him, she pulled her hair off her face, "Why did you keep me around?" placing the blade down, she looked at him. "that's a wrong question but I will answer it for you. I kept you around cause your purity and positivity about life reminded me, of someone, I used to love. I needed some light in my darkness. I need life in my death. I needed someone to trust. You claimed that you loved me...but that was a lie, no one backstabs someone they love."

Taeil felt his heart sink because, despite her hardened facade, he saw a glimpse of pain and betrayal in her stormy blue eyes. at least for a second, he saw a real feeling in them, a feeling other than bloodlust and power thirst.

"hope that answers your question; however, the right one should be 'why I saved you in the first place' ". she shook her head with a smirked, "Surely, you know why, do you?" she laughed, "Tell me, Moon Taeil...." she said taking in the startled expression that decorated his pretty face, "Do you know what happened to your parents?"

Widening his eyes, a brim of tears twinkled in his doe eyes as she had made him see a memory she kept in her mind, "You....you...it was you..." He choked on his words and started coughing, catching his breath after she threw his head harshly. "yes, it was me." She grinned proudly.

"I killed them. and wanted to kill you too but I decided to reserve you for later so I'd have more fun" she laughed softly, "you know my penchant for Shakespearean vengeance. To put it simply, I hold a grudge against your family. Nothing was personal against you though." she pursed her lips.

"Later on, I saw how handsome you had become, and fair to say I have a thing for handsome faces. They're so fun to toy with, so full of their thin arrogance, thinking they have every woman wrapped up around their pretty, thin fingers. I enjoy them. you know, because of all the fun I get when I use them for my own pleasures. and you, my moon, were no exception" She shook her head, grinning smugly.

seeing a stray tear cascade down his cheek, she bite her lower lip to suppress a grin, "Aw, I made a three hundred years vampire cry. What would be my prize?" she hummed tapping her chin with the pointy sharp edge of the blade, "I guess I'll take a few centuries of torture then!" 

"I hope you rot in hell, you sadistic bitch—" his words were cut and a loud gasp echoed in the big dim room. a pained scream resonated from him, blessing Samantha's ears. Taeil gasped loudly from the excruciating pain when stabbed with Papa Tunde's blade, in the eye blink, with the power that was imbued within it, it started to dig inside his chest on its own.

in the last seconds before the dark magic that was in the blade spread into his body and renders him unconscious in a state of constant and extreme agony. Taeil took a breath and closed his eyes. he was about to turn his humanity off as his final solution to not feel the pain. he focused on his unconscious mind then he found it—his humanity's switch. flipping it off, he opened his eyes again and looked her dead in the eyes, his body no more moving.

"Oh, no no no, no turning your humanity off," she hissed and pulled him by the neck, locking her eyes on his, "Turn it On!" She screamed angrily at him, "Turn it on and never turn it off! no running away from the pain cause you're going to feel every ounce of it."

"see you in five centuries, love. that if you stayed alive for the next three days," she stayed to have one more look at his dead-like state before leaving and closing the door behind her.

"a sealing spell would suffice and everything is done." Taemin flashed a grin, "Great, You did well, Tae." taemin beamed at her praise before casting the needed spell. walking down the narrow corridor, she suddenly halted and turned back, "You know what? I'm in a great mood today. How about you join me for a drink?" the blond smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "why not?"

...

under the starry night, Samantha had her walk around the city and enjoyed the fresh air on her skin, Samantha threw her head back, letting the wind play with her hair, eyes closed as she was walking barefoot in the middle of the road. Taemin chuckled at her before pulling her back to the sidewalk; "careful, you nearly got hit by a car." he shook his head at her.

"Not like a car can kill me," she said dismissively. running a hand through her hair, she grinned "I had an amazing day today. I found werewolves—an original werewolf at that. daggered my sweet, handsome ex-boyfriend and met Lee Jeno's brother. can it get any better?" 

meow. 

halting in her tracks, Samantha looked up. Taemin followed where she looked and released a throaty laugh, "Is it me or that cat look like you?" Rolling her eyes, Samantha walked to the tree and looked up.

meow. meow. meow.

"Do you think I should save it?" Taemin shrugged. pursing her lips, she tilted her head at the trapped cat that was at the highest branch of a lone tree. throwing her hair back, she pressed her weight on her feet' soles before launching up and catching the cat.

landing down, she held the black cat in her arms securely, "Oh, he's so cute. He does look like me, blue eyes and black fur," Samantha's laugh echoed in the empty neighborhood. " a 'he'? huh," Taemin walked next to her with her heels in his other hand. "I will name it Wes," the cat meowed and licked her finger and Samantha cooed, "Hehe, cute."

Taemin watched her with a small smile before catching up to her, "I'm kinda hungry." he blurted.

"you just ate." she side-eyed him with an arched brow. Taemin rolled his eyes, "And? your point?"

shaking her head, a smile stretched on her lips"Okay, fine." 

....

"I'm home," Samantha announced once she stepped into the grand room, "Matilda, kindly prepare me a cold shower." Matilda nodded and left. throwing her heels to the side, she walked to the couch with the cat in her hand. 

"Stay here and I'll see if there's something for you to eat" She patted it head and left for the kitchen. Two minutes later, Jeno came down to see Samantha kneeling in front of the cat watching her eat. He gasped loudly, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "Oh my god," he exclaimed.

"oh, evening, Lee Jeno," rolling his eyes mentally at her calling him by his full name, he sat on the couch watching them attentively. "uh. Evening. Long day, huh?" looking down at the cat, she grinned.

before leaving with Taemin, Samantha took off her jewelry and changed her garments into comfier ones; a light purple crop top with a white tennis skirt and let her hair down. "I thought you went to the founders' party?"

"Oh, I did. it's just that this day was so eventful. One thing led to another. then I found this cute thing on a tree," Seeing her excitement about the cat made his heart flutter. she looked cute and innocent. "I named it Wes, by the way. wanna pat it?"

nodding eagerly, Jeno sat next to the cat and patted its head and back, when the cat meowed, jeno chuckled. "I think he likes you," Jeno smiled, a genuine smile, his eyes turning a crescent moon when the cat climbed his shirt. 

"Oh wow..." Samantha let out under her breath.

lifting his head, he looked at her with knitted brows, "What—"

"—Do that again." she ushered her finger at his face, "With your eyes, do it again. It was adorable." clearing his throat, he felt his face heat up at the blunt confession. 

"it doesn't work like that— ah! shit, ow!" the cat bit his finger and when he tried pulling his arm back, it scratched his arm playfully. seeing and smelling his blood, Samantha's breathing faltered. 

today, she was too busy she didn't feed. her throat suddenly went dry. standing abruptly, Jeno looked up at her only to see her veins keep protruding under her eyes which were shifting from blue to red constantly.

"I think...you should leave to your room and clean yourself and patch up," her voice was low, and jeno got the hint. smirking, he squeezed his arm, making more blood ooze out.

"taunting me isn't a smart move, love," she warned before wetting her dry lips. the black-haired went as far as taking the cat and making her cut his neck. now drops of blood are running slowly down his neck. "...stop or I will dry you out. Leave!"

"Maybe I don't want to? plus, seeing you fighting not to feed on me is really heartwarming. makes me think you care about me someway," chuckling under her breath, in an eye blink, she pinned him to the couch and straddled his lap. sucking at a breath, he placed his hands on her bare waist. 

" not so brave now, aren't you?" Samantha said, ghosting her mouth over his bleeding neck. inhaling the blood's intoxicating scent, she let out a hum that vibrated against jeno's neck. feeling her hot breaths on his skin, he shivered and tightened his grip on her waist. drinking into his scared expression, she smirked when an idea popped into her head in order to distract herself from feeding on him; she ground her body on his.

Jeno's eyes shot wide open at the reflex his body made, "hm, someone is horny." she chuckled softly before lowering her head and licking the blood, sending goosebumps down his spine, "...god," he breathed out.

feeling his hard member, she looked down at him with a smug grin before clicking her tongue. pushing herself up, ready to leave him be, jeno's hand was fast to grab her soft thighs, pulling her back.

"Oh?" she looked down at him with a cocked-up brow. "you are enjoying this, aren't you?" he let a low grunt when Samantha lowered her bottom more, "Yes, you're so soft... I love it," he said, cheeks and ears red as he couldn't look anywhere else but at the playful grin she supported.

feeling him kneading her thighs when her skirt rode up a bit, she pursed her lips "You keeping me like this make me believe you don't mind me having a taste, say, am I wrong?" 

when he felt the sharp edges of her fangs running on his skin, he closed his eyes and start trembling, ready for the stinging pain. he was scared. Samantha smiled and looked back at him, "open your eyes," she demanded.

fluttering his eyes open, heat rushed into his face at the close proximity. her lips were ghosting over his, and her hands were behind his nape, smoothing his hair. 

"you're afraid of me." it came out as a statement more than a question, "You see me as a monster. You think I'm going to kill you." she clicked her tongue and shook her head. gulping nervously, jeno realized she entered his head and figured out his point of view about her. 

pulling him closer, she pushed his bangs off his dark brown eyes and made him look her in the eyes. "You're not afraid of me. you feel comfortable and safe around me. you're certain that I won't hurt you." placing the flat of her palm over his chest, a moment later, his racing heart slowed down. "I won't hurt you, eye-smile Lee Jeno. you have my word. Now go patch up your arm and put a bandage over your neck. stay in your room till tomorrow morning." standing up, she saw him leave. a minute later, Matilda appeared, "Your shower is ready, My Lady." running a hand through her hair, she stood up and left.

<- previous chapter

main list

next chapter ->

[starryhyuck]

pairing: alpha!soulmate!jeno x afab!omega!reader

words: 2.9k+

summary: your first meeting with the notorious lee jeno sends you spiraling into heat.

genre: smut

warnings: a/b/o dynamics, knotting, breeding kink, cunnilingus, degradation, mating, some public sex

“You’re coming with me to the Governor’s Ball tonight.”

Your eyebrow raises at Hyewon, who is eagerly sitting across from you, practically jumping out of her seat. The Beta in her is naturally timid, so she must be extremely excited to be acting this way.

“And why would I do that?” You ask, displaying no interest in the event. “It’s just going to be a room filled with rowdy Alphas.”

“That’s why we’re going, duh,” Hyewon says as if you’ve lost a few brain cells. “It won’t just be an event with any regular Alpha — these Alphas will be the most handsome and richest of all!”

Hyewon comes from an affluent family that has an expectation of her to marry wealthy. You know she has been trying for years to pair with any man who has millions in his bank account, yet none of them can match her standards.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about finding an Alpha to mate with. You’ve always envisioned yourself with a calmer Beta, someone who had realistic goals and expectations and wasn’t driven by the feral nature of their genetics. Alphas are known for being possessive and dominant, and it just doesn’t seem like an ideal relationship for you.

“Hyewon, I really don’t think that’s my scene.”

“Come on,” she pouts at you. “Do you know how lucky you are to be an Omega? I would kill to present like you and have every Alpha bend to my whim.”

The statement is slightly exaggerated but not entirely untrue. As an Omega, you do recognize that you have more of a leverage with Alphas as your scent is naturally more alluring to them than a Beta’s. However, you have always opposed the idea that Omegas are solely born to satisfy Alphas. They see you as nothing but a hole to fill and a neck to be marked.

Hyewon clutches to your wrist and pleads loudly, drawing looks from other students lingering in the cafe.

“Please, please, please-“

“Okay!” You huff, withdrawing your hand and looking down bashfully. “Fine, I’ll go with you.”

She throws her arms up and cheers happily.

—

Hyewon wraps you in a stuffy, form fitting dress which is covered head to toe in expensive crystals. She insists you have to shine at the event in order to stand out from all the other Omegas in attendance tonight. Despite your indifference, you let her play dress up as she wants.

She tugs you into the lavish Governor’s Ball, where most of the political leaders of your town are gathered. Hyewon’s eyes lock into the Lee family, the most influential household in werewolf existence.

You don’t know much about the Lee family despite their powerful presence, but Hyewon is quick to fill in the gaps. “That’s Lee Taeyong,” she whispers to you as she points to the stoic man standing across the room. “He’s the oldest, and he’s actually nicer than he looks. The one next to him is the middle child, Lee Mark.” The man she points to has a similar bored expression painting his face, slowly swirling his champagne glass to find a source of amusement. You can tell from the lilt in Hyewon’s voice that he is the Alpha she has her sights set on for the night. “And that guy is the youngest, Lee Jeno. Don’t even try with him, he’s a waste of time.”

Your eyebrows furrow at the Alpha, who appears angrier than any other male in this ballroom. You can practically feel his disdain coursing through your veins.

“Why is he so… grumpy?”

She laughs at your question. “I told you, he’s a waste of time. He’s always pissed off at these events for no reason and hates it when any Beta or Omega tries to make conversation with him. He’s the worst Lee brother to mate with.”

Hyewon soon leaves you to your own devices, heading off to try and win Mark over. You awkwardly make conversation with a few other Omegas around you, but they seem more interested in gathering the attention of the Lee brothers than actually engaging with you.

Midway through the event, you head to the bathroom down the corridor to freshen up. You gasp when you turn the corner and suddenly ram straight into someone’s chest. Your champagne glass falls to the floor and shatters across the marble, but that is the last thing you’re concerned about.

Your body suddenly starts to feel like it’s on fire, heat spreading through your core rapidly. You choke and clutch your stomach, glancing up to see the reason behind your misery.

Jeno stands in front of you, eyes blooming red as he drinks you in. You pant and take a step back from him, recognizing the signs of your approaching heat.

But that can’t be possible — your heat isn’t due to come for another few weeks.

“W-What did y-you do-“ You wheeze, embarrassed by the slick dampening your panties.

“Omega,” Jeno says, stern glare painting his face as he reaches for you. “Calm down.”

His fingers brush by your mating gland and you gasp. His touch feels like someone rubbed a match and lit a fire against your skin. You turn and run as fast as you can, reentering the ballroom and darting straight for Hyewon’s figure. Every Alpha’s head turns at the scent of your growing heat, baring their teeth at your lewd display.

“Hyewon,” you beg, clutching her arm. “You need to take me home.”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

As a Beta, Hyewon can’t smell your growing arousal or detect the signs of you going into your heat. All she sees is her friend with a desperate look on her face. Mark, who is standing across from her, shifts his predatory gaze to you. Hyewon notices the change in him and she quickly pulls you behind her.

“A-Are you going into heat?” She asks quietly.

You nod and whimper. She asks no further questions, wrenching your figure close to hers and locating the nearest exit. She shoves you into the first limousine in the parking lot and shuts the door behind her, shouting your address at the driver.

You grasp her elbow and cry. “Hyewon, this is a strong one-“

A wave of arousal shoots down your spine, causing you to fall deeper and deeper into your subspace. If Hyewon doesn’t lock you in your bedroom soon, you’re afraid you might offer yourself to the first Alpha you see.

“Why didn’t you say you were about to go into heat?” She chastises, grabbing a tissue to dab at your sweltering forehead. “Let me call Jaemin.”

You stop her from taking her phone out of her purse. “N-No, don’t call him. I don’t want him.”

“What? You always use Jaemin for your heats.”

“No,” you shake your head, still unsure of why you’re denying her. She’s right — since your first heat, you have always asked Na Jaemin to come over and take care of you. He was a family friend and never took advantage of you at your worst. However, there’s a sinking feeling in your gut that’s telling you Jaemin is the last Alpha you want to see right now. “Just get me home.”

You barely register Hyewon helping you into your apartment, faintly remembering her guiding you to your bed.

“W-What should I-“

“Please leave,” you say, writhing and desperately pulling at the zipper of your dress to get it off you. “Trust me, you don’t want to see me like this.”

She frowns, her voice filled with concern. “But-“

“Please, Hyewon,” you plead. “Thank you for getting me here but you need to leave.”

You hear the front door close just as you fling your dress to the floor, quickly locating your vibrator in your nightstand. You pull your panties to the side and sigh in relief when you sink the toy into your heat. It only quenches your pain slightly, but it’s enough to simmer down the fire in your belly.

You’re unaware of how much time has passed when there’s another knock at your door. You’re writhing on the bed sheets, begging for another orgasm as your hand has grown tired of lazily pushing your vibrator in and out of your dripping pussy. Your fingers circle your clit slowly as you plead for the moon to end your misery.

You miss the sound of your door rattling off its hinges, mind overtaken by a cloud of fuzziness. Loud stomping echoes throughout your apartment and a large figure invades your room, growling when he sees the sight of you hopelessly twisting your hips to gain any sort of comfort.

A hand wraps around your throat and squeezes, forcing another gush of arousal to leak down your thighs.

“What do you think you’re doing, Omega?” His voice scarily questions, nearly spitting in your face. “How dare you touch what’s mine?”

They used to spread stories of true mates when you were in high school — stories of how when an Alpha meets the destined Omega they were born to be mated with, it would immediately send the Alpha and Omega into their corresponding ruts and heats. You always thought it was some odd wolf propaganda created centuries ago to carry on the belief that true mates still existed. However, as you look at Jeno hovering above you, there is no doubt in your mind that he is your true mate.

The fuzzy parts of your brain start to clear. “J-Jeno?”

He grins, leaning down to lick at the shell of your ear. “That’s Alpha to you. Present yourself.”

You scramble to follow his order, shoving your head into the pillow and arching your ass up in the air. He clicks his tongue mockingly.

“A pretty, submissive Omega. You know, I always wondered what cute little thing I was destined to end up with. I never thought the moon would grant me a beautiful mate like you,” he hums, digits collecting the remnants of your orgasm across your thighs. He groans as he licks the taste of you off his fingers. “You want your Alpha’s knot, baby?”

You nearly unravel at the thought of him filling you deep with his cum, giving you so much of it that it spills out of your tiny pussy.

“A-Alpha,” you whine. “Please Alpha, please knot me.”

You hear the clink of his belt buckle and your body thrums in excitement. He plants his knees down on the mattress, shrugging off his slacks and throwing his stuffy blazer to the side. He ducks his head to lick a stripe up your folds.

You shudder, bunching the sheets in your fists and practically sobbing at the need to have his cock inside of you. You’ve never felt this hopeless during your heat before, never craved another Alpha’s cock like this.

Jeno’s hands tighten around your hips as he laps at your cunt, groaning at the sweetness of your taste. It only takes a few seconds for you to gush into his waiting mouth, the sounds of him eagerly swallowing your release filling the room.

Your body slumps on the mattress at the weight of your orgasm. You barely have time to recover when you feel his tip prodding your entrance.

He growls. “Beg for my cock, Omega whore.”

“Please, Alpha, please fuck me. I want your knot to fill my pretty pussy, want you to mark me and make me yours-“

The thought of you being mated to him is what sends Jeno feral. He pushes his cock inside your waiting hole, slick dripping down your thighs and giving him easy access to slide in. You sigh in relief when he’s finally deep inside you, quelling the fire in your stomach that was pleading for him.

He doesn’t waste time — ramming into you at an inhuman speed, hands angrily digging into your sides and slapping your ass until his palm is imprinted on your backside. Your head lolls to the side, officially giving Jeno complete control to use you as you wish.

Just like with your other heats, your body throws you into climax after climax until the pleasure molds itself into your skin. Jeno is still spitting the most filthy, degrading words at you as his knot slowly approaches.

“Look at you, silly Omega. Offering yourself up to the first Alpha you see. Would you have given this cunt to someone else, hm? Let them take what’s rightfully mine?” At the shake of your head, he smirks. “That’s right. Pretty Omega’s pussy is made only for me. Designed for my knot, designed to breed for my future pups.”

The thought of him impregnating you with the future of the respected Lee line prompts you over the edge again. Jeno hisses and grabs the back of your neck, hoisting you up easily to his chest as you hear the sound of his balls slapping against your cunt forcefully.

“Gonna keep cumming around your Alpha’s cock? Never had a heat like this one before, have you, baby? That’s because the moon has finally brought you to your true mate, and you never have to spend another heat without me again.”

You cry in pleasure at the thought of being able to spend every heat with Jeno. You never minded Jaemin being your heat partner, but this satisfaction and connection is something you’ve never felt with anyone else. You genuinely think you’ll die if you go through another heat without Jeno beside you.

“A-Alpha,” you whimper, steadily holding onto his arm that’s securely wrapped around your middle. “Please knot me, Alpha. You’re the only one who can.”

“Yeah?” He groans at how desperate you sound for him. “Want your Alpha’s big knot? Want to be bred like a good little Omega?”

You nearly sob. “Y-Yes! Yes, please!”

He tilts your head and exposes your neck. His fingers carefully run over your mating gland, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

“And this? Is this for me to mark, Omega?”

You frantically nod. “Yes, Alpha. Only for you.”

You know it’s a big step, a permanent marking that would tie Jeno’s Alpha to your Omega forever. Your mind screams at you to reconsider this decision when you have a clearer head, but your heart tells you that there’s nothing to mull over — Jeno is your Alpha and you need the whole world to know.

As his knot begins to swell inside you, his teeth sink into your mating gland, uniting your souls into one. Every feeling Jeno’s ever had courses through your veins, multiplying your pleasure tenfold. Your thighs begin to shake at the amount of gratification flowing through your body.

You almost pass out from the overwhelming sensation, and your body goes slack in Jeno’s hold. His cum shoots deep into your womb, filling you and marking you as his until his release is leaking down your thighs.

You both collapse on the mattress, with Jeno pulling you close to ensure his knot stays rooted deep inside you.

Your head starts to free from your subspace temporarily, and you carefully scan your room as he licks at the wound on your neck to clean you up.

“Did you- Did you break my door?”

Indeed, you can see your front door laying flat in the hallway, nearly shattered. Jeno hums softly.

“It was in my way.”

You think about how your apartment floor must’ve had to evacuate from the profound smell of your scent mixed with Jeno’s. You would feel guilty about it but considering Jeno has no shame over it, his emotions overpower yours.

“Want to fuck you again, Omega,” he hisses against your skin. “Love being mated to you.”

His honest confession forces another wave of arousal to spill from your pussy, leaking around his knot.

“Yeah, Alpha?”

He grunts and starts thrusting into you again, only being able to move a few inches as his knot is still plugging his cum into you. You gasp and pull him down to kiss you.

“My friend-“ you murmur in between moans. “My friend told me you hate Betas and Omegas.”

“Of course I do,” he hisses, propping your leg over his hip so he can push in deeper. “I hate every Beta and Omega who thinks they have a shot at being my mate.”

“You looked so grumpy when I first saw you.”

“I am grumpy,” he mumbles, hands darting to knead your breasts. ���Grumpy for everyone except you.”

He grins when you squirt around his knot, your cunt sensitive from the constant rounds of fucking. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at your unexpected orgasm, body twitching in your Alpha’s hold.

Jeno fucks you until the sun rises to indicate the start of a new day. You two barely sleep, exploring various positions throughout your apartment and even the hallway of your complex, ushering more and more residents on the lower floors to evacuate from your scents. Their dirty looks are quickly changed when they see the notorious Lee brother claiming his new mate for all to see.

His cock doesn’t allow your pussy to rest until he’s sure you’ve been impregnated.

When you finally come to, you’re sprawled on your living room floor with a mix of your slick and Jeno’s cum surrounding you. He continues to lick at your skin as if he’ll die without fully receiving his taste of you.

It’s odd since despite only knowing him for less than a day, you feel like you’ve known him your whole life.

“I want-“ you pant, trying to regain your breath. “I want to fuck you forever.”

He chuckles. “Is that so, Omega?” He raises his head to see you, a predatory gaze lingering in his eyes. You wonder if you have it in you to go another few rounds.

“Lucky for you, we’re mated for life. I’m not going anywhere.”

[starillusion13]

family walking in or overhearing you getting fucked out of your mind during family vacay by nct 😭

LOVESICK

Pairing: Husband! Jeno x pregnant wife! reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Slice of life

W.C: 5.3k. Network: @k-vanity

Warning: extreme love between them, Jeno is a lovesick puppy for you, domestic love and we are horny for him. sensitive, overstimulation, teasing, nipple clamps, vibrator, nipple play, choking, edging, pwp (don’t do it silly), lots of kissing (I'm kiss drunk for him), mirror sex, fingering, crying, sucking, biting, impact play, getting caught during sex but to make it less embarrassing, there's a door in between. pregancy talk and a caring husband Jeno. Basically, you both are in love with each other and lost control.

MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE CUE! 🔞

Have fun babygirls!

:🎀💋🎀:

Jeno and you had always envisioned a life brimming with love, adventures, and cherished memories. From the moment you met, it was clear you were soulmates destined to walk life's path together.

Your love story was nothing short of a fairy tale, filled with laughter, support, and shared dreams.

It was a warm, sunny Sunday morning, and Jeno awoke to the enticing aroma of pancakes drifting through the air. He stretched lazily, the corners of his mouth curling into a contented smile. The familiar sounds of you humming softly in the kitchen reached his ears, a melody that always warmed his heart. He rolled over and glanced at the empty spot beside him, feeling a rush of affection for you. Slipping out of bed, he padded towards the kitchen, eager to join you.

Why is the day feeling so different and lively?

"Good morning, love," Jeno greeted, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Good morning, Jeno," you replied, eyes sparkling as you turned your head to plant a quick kiss on his lips. "I've got a surprise for you."

Curiosity piqued, Jeno's eyes lit up. "Oh? What is it?"

With a mischievous smile, you handed him a small, neatly wrapped box from the counter top. "Open it."

Oh earlier he didn't notice it.

He is in love with you and his eyes are always locked on your form.

Jeno's fingers trembled slightly with anticipation as he carefully unwrapped the box. Inside, he found a pregnancy test with a positive result with a doodling 'Congratulations'. His heart skipped a beat, and he looked up at you, who was beaming with joy, tears shimmering in your eyes.

"Are you serious?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

You nodded, tears of happiness streaming down your cheeks. "We're going to have a baby, Jeno."

Overwhelmed with joy, Jeno pulled you into a tight embrace, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around. "We're going to be parents! I am going to be a dad, y/n and you will be a beautiful mom." he exclaimed, his voice echoing the shared excitement.

The day followed with a whirlwind of emotions and planning. Jeno and you embraced every moment of the exciting day, your bond growing stronger with the love and affection between you two.

Jeno is a pillar of support, always ready with a comforting word or a gentle touch whenever you need it.

.

.

.

You were so nervous about letting your parents know about this. Nervous, why? You were having so many emotions going through, so after almost three days, you let them know about the situation.

You invited both of you and Jeno's parents to your house.

And they planned a family trip to your house for a few weeks. Well, you were happy and excited to share the moment with them with this sudden new experience but somehow, you noticed one more thing. Jeno was continuously asking his mom when they were leaving.

Why didn't he want his parents to stay?

He even once asked you in one evening.

"Are your parents going to stay this week again?" His curious and eager eyes staring at you.

You turned your head from in front of the mirror, he was sitting on the bed like a lost puppy, "why are you asking?"

He was going to reply something quickly but held it back so he only shook his head, "no. Just asking."

You smirked, sensing him lying, "I know you are up to something so tell me why you are curious everyday how long our parents are going to stay here."

He rolled his eyes and laid down on the mattress, "I just want to spend time with you. All alone."

"We are alone. They are not invading our personal space and they are just enjoying themselves with us in this special moment. Isn't it beautiful?" You raised your brows and smiled.

He rolled to his side to face you, "it is, but I want something more."

"What?"

"you."

you frowned. "What do you mean? you have me. I am right here then what more you want. Jeno, stop with your stupid questions and replies." and then you turned around to resume whatever you were doing.

Jeno poked the inside of his cheeks.

he has to get what he wants soon...no matter how risky it is.

.

.

.

One evening, as you both sat on the couch, Jeno gently placed his hand on your belly. "Can you believe there's a little one growing in there?" he marveled, his eyes filled with wonder.

you smiled, placing your hand over his. "It's amazing, isn't it? I can't wait to meet our baby."

Both of your parents went to roam around the city for the day and today you both got some time alone and you could feel Jeno was too excited for some reason.

Man is a lovesick puppy for you but you are not something less than that.

you both love each other a lot and it's just so difficult to keep your hands off each other in front of your parents.

having some chit-chats with your husbands, you stood up from the couch and paced towards the bedroom and to your surprise he was trailing behind you as if he was waiting for the moment, you would willingly get inside the bedroom.

On your way towards the door, you asked, "When are our parents coming back?"

he quickly replied, "after dinner. we have enough time."

you entered the door and quickly turned around.

“enough time?”

He shut the door and locked it safe from inside.

"what are you doing?" you nervously laughed but deep down you could intercept the emotions visible on his face. you know what that means and you won't give in so easily, you want fun and a little bit of testing and teasing won't harm it.

he chuckled and took slow steps towards you. his strong gaze locked with your exciting ones, of course you were trying hard not to reveal your obvious reaction. "You know it well."

you blinked, "no...but...should we get ready and join our parents. I am getting bored lately."

you didn't move from your spot in the middle of the room and he was standing just a feet away, he scoffed and grabbed your jaw, "are you really so bored? why don't I help you to get rid of it --- without involving the parents." he brushed your hairs back, "also, aren't you having fun with so many people in the house and every time running away from me?"

you smiled even when his strong grip on your jaw was burning. His two hands were like angel and devil, just like his personality --- one harshly grabbing you and strongly gripping to not let you slip from his hold and whereas the other delicately and softly brushing the hairs and caressing your skin. there was both hunger and admiration in his eyes. like always.

"Of course, I am happy but you know sometimes I feel like telling my mom to go back when she is nagging at me for no reason. I am a grown adult now and I know what to do and not. yeah, advice is good and she has experience but you know that I am also going to be a mom soon."

"Get on the bed."

your rants stopped when he commanded you. Jeno had enough. Don't get him wrong, he could listen to you the whole day even if your gossips and topics are irrelevant and stupid but right now his patience is running out. He was not in a mood for anything except you.

he smirked when he noticed you blinking in confusion but quickly following his order. He approached the side of the bed and his predatory gaze locked on yours.

"scoot back."

Again, his tone had the same domination and this time you fought back, instead of scooting back, you approached to him at the edge of the side he was standing and stood up on your knees, "what are you trying to do, Mr. Lee Jeno." your hands sliding up his arms and you smirked at his reaction.

The effect was clear on him.

"y/n, I won't repeat twice. get back to your place." he raised a brow.

you tilted your head to the side, "what about no?"

he scoffed and pushed you back on the bed. you were laughing loudly at his reaction and he groaned before brushing back his hair in frustration. you rolled over the bed to the other side when he sat on the side and was fumbling into the drawers of the bedside shelves.

you inhaled a sharp breath when the realization hit you of what he was searching for. He was trying to tame you and play your own games. nervously, you bit your lips and clutched the shit. he turned his head towards you and the corner of his lips rose up when he noticed your scared eyes and nervousness all over your face, "are you sensitive?"

"h-huh?"

he raised a familiar object in his hand and you gulped before nodding slightly.

"what? are you okay or we can skip it?" he asked you and again turned his attention back to the drawer. The previous object was beside his thigh and you kept staring at it without replying to him until you heard the shut sound of the shelf and two more objects placed beside it.

"are you going to keep up with this behavior? then you are in for the worst punishment." he turned around to face your lying figure in a pink set of trousers and top. you seemed like a soft and pretty wife for him --- that's how he wanted you right now.

when he raised the object again, you slowly spoke up, "I am a bit sensitive these days. I think it's because of the pregnancy but I can still try it. I'm sure."

he nodded but still he casted an unsure glance towards the object in his hand and sent an assuring smile towards you. Even if he is controlling you on the bed and demanding every step of yours to be under his control, he wouldn't hurt you. He would only make you cry in pleasurable pain but not hurt you in real.

he pulled off his black t-shirt in one swift move and scooted near you. extending a hand towards you and you quickly grabbed it. he gave it an assurance squeeze and held you up to make you sit facing him.

"I love you, y/n. you know that, right?" he cupped your cheek and pecked your lips before smiling endearingly at you.

you held his wrist and smiled back, "I know, Jeno. I love you too."

the sweet gesture extended to his lips connecting to yours, securing the soft and collective moments between you both. you wanted him and he was willingly giving you. That's how the kiss was --- rough yet full of love. His one hand slid to the back of your head, securing a knot with a handful of your hair and pressing you tight to his lips. He was craving for this exact moment in those past days and when he finally got the chance, he won't be missing a bit of it. Teeths clashing, tongues fighting for dominance and letting yourselves melt into each other's presence was becoming intense.

Your arms snaked around his neck and his other hand wandering down your body, examining your every curve above the thin top when his one hand goes under your shirt to pinch your hardened nipple. Letting out a surprised gasp and a low moan when he repeated his action, he smirked at your reaction. Parting yourself from the kiss, you breathed heavily whereas his mouth trailing wet kisses to your jaw and throat. His palms massaging your sensitive breast and and you pants with moans when he was biting down your sweet spots around your neck was making him hard.

"Jeno..." you whimpered under his touch and caught his wrist. His head pulled off from the crane of your neck to face you. You were already blissed out. "It's painful."

He pinched your nipple, "this?" you nodded frantically and he laughed before pecking your lips, "it's good then. We will have fun today." you didn't reply anything but kept staring at him with excitement and nervousness. There was a fear of going overboard with all the games but also there was a blind trust on him that he won't hurt you.

Letting yourself move how he wanted, he made you adjust on his lap, your back pressed to his bare and wide chest. Even though he was handling you painfully slowly, calculating every second and igniting the fire step by step yet you were relaxing in his hold. You wanted this. You wanted him. Any stress, confusion, stiffness and negativity fades away when you are with him. His hands wrapped around your torso, chin on your shoulder and he kissed your cheek. You smiled at his gestures and kissed his nose.

"I am so happy for us. Still can't believe all these are true."

Your smile widened, "yeah. This is very much real. We are going to be parents and we are on this journey together." you turned your head to face him properly, he could see the excitement in your eyes. You have so much to say and he was glad that you were happy with him and as his pretty wife. "We have to plan so many things together."

You could see the adoration in his face and he nodded, kissing your nose and lips, "we will. But for now let's dive into this moment. Only us."

A breath escaped your mouth when you bite your lips and shyly nodded, giving him the sign that you were ready for whatever was coming in your way.

Bending a bit forward with you on his lap, he grabbed the first object for the day — out of the three. He would only use these three for today, for all other objects it could be any other time.

Unbuttoning the top from front, his fingers brush over your sensitive buds. Your body reacting how he wanted, his every little touch was making you squirm and whimper out his name. You sound melodious to his ears, your eyes closed and head falling back on his shoulder with your upper front exposed and his hands roaming on your burning skin. His breaths fanning over your ears and whispering dirty and sweet compliments in your ears with deep and low chuckles.

Oh it was a sight. He wanted to capture that moment with you.

Both of palms massaging your breasts, rolling the bud and pinching and pulling it to see your sensitivity. He made sure to see your limit with the present condition and when you gave him a nod to proceed. He brought the clamps to your front. You glanced at it and then turned away. A shiver ran down your body with the thought of it. He held the two clips and slightly pinched your stomach then some other areas around.

"Trust me and tell me if it's too much."

He waited for your affirmation and when he got the signal, he pressed down the clips to your nipples. It was a quick pinch and he again retreated the clips. You again nodded when he pressed the first clip to the bud then slowly to the second one.

Your hands clutching above his thigh, fisting his trouser and moaning out his name. Jeno moved your hairs to trail down kisses in the crook of your neck and exposed shoulder. The cold chain connecting the two clamps resting on your chest and hanging loosely, tickling your stomach. Intertwining his hands with one of yours on his thigh and the other caressing your thighs and arms. His soft touches and grunts in your ears made you squirm in his hold. The pain from your nipples making you moan out his name and he urges you to say his name on repeat.

His palm resting over your belly, carefully and tenderly caressing it, humming in your ears, "there's a little one growing and I'm going to let that one know how I love the mommy and my wife so much. I love every moment with you."

"Jeno...please...do something...please."

He slightly pulled the chain on your chest when you cried out in pain and he quickly left it and kissed your cheek. Sliding your trouser and panty down, leaving you only in an unbuttoned top. You grinded on his lap when you felt his hard member poking your lower back.

"y/n...stay still. Be a good girl." he chuckled and caressed your exposed thigh, fingers lingering around the inner thigh near the aching and red cunt. "Be a good mommy for me."

Resting his forehead on your shoulder, placing a kiss on your back, he circled his thumb over your clit. Closing your eyes, you moaned and arch your back when he pressed his palm over the heat.

"You are so beautiful, y/n."

"Coz you are my handsome man, Jeno."

You looked at him smiling but when you found his gaze in front, you followed his eyes and gasped. Oh! The mirror across the room displaying you two together and your body decorated with his hands and clamps. Your gazes locked in the mirror and he kissed your shoulder when he felt you shying away.

You are too sweet for him to handle.

Your eyes scanned his black hairs falling over his forehead, veins on hands and neck popping out when his whole attention was on you. You were falling in love with him all over again. Distracting with his handsome features and his soft touch and low voice, his fingers parted your folds and rubbed it slowly.

"Jeno...more please."

"I will give you more. Have patience, baby."

Turning your head to the side, he caught your lips into a feverish kiss. You both are sick of each other's love and pleasure is the only medicine for it. A finger inserted inside your folds and he groaned when your lips sucked his fingers in so easily when your other lips danced with his in a rhythm.

Your arousal dripping in his palm, “so wet for me, love.”

Pumping into you with a slow pace, adding one more finger, your back arched and you moaned out his name into his mouth. He left your mouth alone, one hand torturing you with a painfully slow rhythm and the other one resting on your belly. You grabbed his hair in a fist and with other held his wrist which was playing with the chain on your chest.

You were panting when he increased his pace, "Jeno...it's painful." he tugged the chain softly and smiled, "this?" you nodded and he pulled it with more force, other hand still working on your heat. You cried out when he tugged at it again and kept it locked in a painful angle. No, it wasn't too much for you, if it was then you could have given him the warning and said the word. Still, he watched your change in facial expression, your scrunched nose, creased forehead with sweat lining on it and moans with heavy breaths. There was no sign from you to stop him and he increased the pace.

Hitting the exact spot which pushed you to the climax, you begged for permission. He never liked you cumming without his order and he waited for more. He didn't allow you even when you were begging, his fingers slowed down when he added one more finger and continued in a slow teasing movement. He knew the effect of edging you, the intense orgasm from you is a sight to look at.

"Open your eyes, y/n. Look at the mirror in front." he whispered the words into your ears.

You fought back the pressure and somehow managed to lock your gaze with him in the mirror. Your wet eyelashes with tear stained cheeks. You pout when you notice his smirk. He was enjoying your view and how you were trying to move your hip against his hand for the friction you needed.

You whined, "Jeno...please."

He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss on your shoulder. Increasing his pace and tugging the chain at the same time earned a loud gasp and moan from you. You were crying yet urging him to go on. He listened to your every sound escaping from you. He loves the sounds. He loves you.

"Cum for me, pretty." he gestured with a soft bump with his head to yours, "Look at me."

You did what he told you to do. With a loud cry of his name, you came undone on his fingers. Your gaze was still locked with him.

Resting your head on his chest and panting heavily. He laid you down on the bed, hovering over you quickly. The silver necklace around his neck, dangling in front of your eyes. Your hands reached up to touch his abs and his biceps.

"I love you."

He laughed at your sudden confession, "this was how you sounded for the first time. I love you too, baby."

You smiled at the thought that he still remembered the moment from five years ago.

"Are you okay? Is it hurting somewhere?" he had a concern over his features. You shook your head with a faint 'No'.

He smiled and reached for the second object — the tiny vibrator.

"We can skip the handcuffs today. We don't need it. I want to feel your touch and you, so let's stick to only this." he said and started the vibrator, filling the room with the low buzzing sound. Your heat throbbed when he looked at you with those dark lustful eyes and without any more second, he placed it on your belly. You hummed and he picked it up and moved it across your body, watching you squirming under its effect. Circling around the nipples and tugging the chain at the same time. Oh it was too much for you to handle but not to stop him.

You were trapped like a prey under his predatory gaze.

For a moment he removed the clamps from you, sucking and biting the sensitive hard nipples. You were trying your best to break free but he held you tight. He loves to rest his head on breast and play with them and now when he got the chance to have it —— why not?

“I can’t believe that this gonna grow in size. Oh! I’ll love it.” He said and continued the sweet torture on your chest. Leaving red and purple marks all over the skin where his fingers caressing the area.

He was getting drunk on your breast.

Again, he placed the vibrator on your belly, also attaching the clamps back to the nipples and sat back to get rid of his trouser. You were ready for him and he had to have you right at the moment. The sight in front of him was making him painfully hard and he was aching for your touch.

Lining with the entrance, his angry red tip with precum dripping was teasing your entrance. He gave it some stroke and squeeze, painting the precum all over. The buzzing sound on your belly and his tight grip on your inner thighs to make it part when you tried to close them around him. Not wasting more painful seconds, he inserted his tip and waited for you to adjust. Nodding your head, he inserted his thick girth inside you.

" you taking me so well, baby." he groaned when you squeezed around him, "fuck...are you feeling good?"

You nodded and breathed out, "yes, Jeno. move your hip, please fuck me."

Moving his hip in slow movements, he chuckled, "as if you will take my cum again. Do you want me to spill inside you baby?"

"Yes...yes please."

He grabbed your cheeks, making you look at him when he titled his head, "how? You are already pregnant." he thrusted deeper, his tip brushing your g-spot, "only if I could fill you up with one more."

"Fill me up..please." you whimpered and tried to break free when he moved the vibrator from your belly to your clit. He groaned along with the new vibration and how tight your folds tensed around his member.

"You are spitting nonsense baby." he laughed at you when you repeated your pleading for him to fill you up.his hand fell from your lips to your throat, measuring his palm around it and holding it firmly. Giving it a firm squeeze, you arched your back to the effect. Thrusting at a fast pace, he squeezed your throat, putting pressure on both the sides. Tears flowing down your eyes when he left the grip on your hip to pull the chain to your clamps.

"Jeno!"

"Yes, baby. Say my name again. Let that baby know how much I love you. Only I can make you feel good and only I can love you."

"Yes yes. Jeno...too much."

You held his wrist when he squeezed around your throat again. Another hand curling on top of his thigh. You watched how worked out he was, sweat dripping down his hairs and his burning body with veins lining the skin and arms making his body looking angry. It was impatient just like him. You love when he manhandles you, have you in his own ways, fucking you into void but still caring for you. Always loving you and caring for your every need. You can't get a more perfect husband like him.

"You are taking me so well, baby. So perfect."

He bent down to kiss your lips and before he could speak a word more, he heard a couple knock at his door.

Both of Your eyes went wide when he hushed you and pecked your lips before replying, "yes?"

"Is y/n with you, son?"

"Yeah, why?" he averted his eyes from the door to look at your nervous yet blissed out face. His rhythm was slow and he turned off the vibrator and threw it aside. Holding your gaze he smirked, pressing you down when you tried to get up and asked your mom on the other side of the door, "do you need something, mom?"

"Yeah, are you guys busy? I think I heard her crying. Is everything alright?" your mom had a concern in her voice.

He chuckled and your eyes were wide at her words. He again held your throat and mouthed 'keep quiet'. He turned to face the door, "no mom. She is sleeping and maybe you heard the audio, actually I played it loud. Sorry for that."

You both heard her laugh, "oh no, it's okay. I was just worried and if you can please come down, we bought so many things for you."

"Yeah, mom. Sorry, I can't open the door right now, i'm stuck doing a thing." he smirked at you, increasing his pace, you bit your lips to prevent any sound escaping your throat. He cursed under his breath before replying, "I will be there soon. Give me a moment."

"Yeah sure, son. No need to wake her up."

With that she went away and you moaned.

"Do you want to let your mom know about us like this right now?" he thrusted deeper, "how her daughter wants another baby when already there's one growing inside."

"Jeno...I want to cum...please."

"Already? Haven't you cum before?" he was mocking at you but the way he was drilling inside you, it was clear that he was chasing his climax as well. You turned to face your side where you could see how your bodies were connected and you looked so fragile under his wide frame. He caught your gaze in the mirror and gave you a sweet eye smile. His thumb rubbed at your clit to push you further and ignited the fire bubbling inside you.

"Cum for me, baby."

Your whole body shook when you hit the climax. Arching your back above the bed and your both hands clutching the sheets tightly with your parted lips and hooded eyes. Jeno groaned at the sight unfolding in front of him. He thrusted deeper when you pleaded him to stop and a couple or more, he moaned your name and spilled his cum inside you, painting your walls with hot liquid. The feeling was euphoric and he bent forward, balancing himself on his palm at the both sides of your head and panting hard. He slowly removed the clamps and caressed your nipples. They were paining and it felt amazing when he was massaging it.

He pecked your lips and whispered, "I love you so much, y/n." hiding his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your post-sex smell from your body. You stroked his head and kissed the side of his head.

"I love you, Jeno."

He hummed in response. He laid sideways to your side to face you. Caressing your head and giving you a warm smile, he asked you, "are you okay, my love?"

You nodded, "yes, I am. Let's go down to meet them. They are quite early back home."

"Why? Did you want more time with me? We can still have it if you want."

You hit his arm and he laughed lightly. He planted a soft kiss on your forehead and smiled, "it's okay. You get some rest and later I will freshen you up. I'm going to meet them and will help them out if needed. Don't worry. Sleep."

You hummed and closed your eyes when you felt your eyelids getting heavy. Without having any thoughts in mind, you drifted off to sleep, knowing you were loved and secured with him. He waited and watched you for a while, pulling off a blanket from below, he covered you with it and kissed your cheek before getting off the bed and getting into the washroom to dress himself.

Closing the door behind him, he went down to meet the parents and spent his time being a wonderful son after he showed you his love as a perfect husband.

In the end, it was the simple moments—the shared laughter, the quiet nights, the gentle touches—that defined your love story. Jeno and you had created a life filled with love, and you knew that as long as you had each other, you could face anything.

NOTE: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. I don’t know if this is how you wanted it to be but I hope you have enjoyed <3.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg @corneliarstreet [open!]

[luvyeni]

RED STRING THEORY ,, 이동혁

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ lee haechan x fem!reader wc. 2k

genre. smut, soulmate au (?)

🦢◞ includes ... making out, oral sex ( male receiving ), unprotected sex

「 authors note 𖹭 」 this idea has been sitting in my notes since 2023 but I could never think of how to write it.

❪ masterlist! ❫

all your friends loved to say you and donghyuck are soulmates; tied together by a red invisible string, that you're destined to be together much like in your other lives— maybe that was true, and you did actually care for the boy in a another universe or timeline… but you knew for a fact in this time you wanted to wrap your hands around his—

“yn?” you were brought from your thoughts. “you okay?” you roommate yeji asked. “of course not the love of her life isn't here.” the irritating voice made your eye twitch. “you thinking of me baby?” lee donghyuck, haechan or your personal favorite jackass sat down next to you. “you know what yeah i was , i was thinking all about you”

everyone sitting at the lunch table stopped what they were doing. “seriously?” you hummed , nodding. “i told you guys she loved , tell me baby, what were you thinking about?” renjuns face turned in disgust. “i didn't consent to hearing your sex fantasy about haechan that you just had in public, might i add.” you turned to the boy , your hands resting on his shoulders, his eyes widened.

“i was thinking of taking my hand.” your friends watching, dragging your hand up his neck. “d-don't you think we should do this in private, not in front of our friends.” you started to squeeze. “i think she's trying to kill him.” jaemin whispered. “taking my hand , and squeezing , until your eyes pop.”

your friends erupted into laughter as you released the boy , he rubbed his neck. “yn i think you really scared him this time.” jeno said. “him? no.” you turned to the boy who was staring lovingly at you. “you see.” you rolled your eyes. “why can't you admit that you like me, love , make it easy for yourself?” everyone sighed knowing the rant he was about to go on. “we're perfect for each other.”

“yeah? how.” you said. “i'm hot and your hot , and it's obvious we were in love in our past lives,” he said. “haechan i’ve explained to you that the invisible string theory isn't real.” you argued back. “yeah how would i know about the birth mark on your lower back?” he did have a point , it was too low for anyone to see. “yeah how does he know that?” yeji asked. “because he's a creep that's why.” you stood up , needing to leave for your next class. “or maybe in our past lives our favorite position was doggy style , i couldn't forget that even in a new life.” he smirked, you shook your head. “i'm going to class.”

the boy followed behind you; sadly you had the same classes. “we're even in the same class.” he sat down next to you. “yeah and im still not sure if you did that on purpose.” the professor walked in before he could say something. “god heard my prayers.”

“there's a new project due , 30% of your grade for this semester.” you groaned , you hated projects. “let's do it together.” haechan said, he knew you were serious about school so he never bothered you during class , he actually never bothered you unless he knew it would stress you out. “why would i torture myself in such a manor?” he smiled. “I love our little talks.” you shook your head , standing up. “goodbye donghyuck.”

“wait yn, i'm serious,” he said. “you know me and you are the best in this class, we'll sure get an A on this.” you kissed your teeth, you hated when hebwas right, he loved to fuck around , but when it came to his work he was serious. “fine.” his eyes widened. “seriously?”

“yeah , let's go.” he quickly gathered his things. “you can't take it back now.” you rolled your eyes. “let's go.” he nodded. “back to your place?” you saw the smirk on his face. “yeji is home , and hell will freeze over before i ever come over to your house of horrors.” you walked away, he followed behind. “so that means there's a chance?”

“where are you going?” you opened the door to yeji about to leave. “jaemin called me and told me he saw you both walking towards our dorm together, i thought he was high again.” she stopped. “we’re working on a project together, sadly beside me he's the only other smarter one in the class.” haechan smiled. “see she knows how to compliment me.”

“i told him you'd be here so he would start anything.” you said , “but it seems like you aren't.” yeji shook her head. “work, one of my co workers called off , if you want groceries for the next month , i have to leave now.” she said , walk right out the door. “see even the universe wants us together.”

“my bedroom, let's go.” you walked. “if you like to be in charge i'm down.” he followed you. “haechan you're here to help with the project.” you said flatly. “i know , i know don't worry , i'll sit down and listen.” he sat on your bed , you cringed. “oh im sorry would you like for me to take my clothes off for your comfort?” you sat down in your chair. “no , i can just change it when you leave.” he smirked. “how about i give you a better reason to change them.” you glared at him , even though this time , you let a little smile slip. “fine, fine let's do the project.” he threw his hands up. “thank you.” you turned around facing your laptop. “but i saw that smile.”

you both actually did get half of your project done; you closed your laptop turning around in your chair, sighing. “you did good , kept your word and actually got work done.” you praised the boy. “don't you think i deserve a reward.” he laid back on your bed. “you can get your things and go.” he faked laughed. “no one is here, you can drop the act that you hate me.” you raised your eyebrows. “you think this is an act?” he nodded. “i do.”

“why is that?” you questioned, he shrugged. “you invited me to your apartment , you never do that even if it's with the other guys.” he said, “you invited me into your room with no one else home.” he smirked. “you love me.”

“you're cocky , that's why i don't like you.” you scoffed. “i think that's what you like about me the most.” he winked. “i see the twinkle in your pretty eyes , you mean to tell me you don't believe the string theory even a little bit?” you stood up shaking your head , walking over to your door. “and with that , good night haechan.” you opened it , showing him out.

he stood up, walking over to you and the door; you thought he was about to leave , but he stopped in front of you. “haechan what are you…” before you could even finish it , he was closing the door , pushing you against it. “hyuck.” he smirked. “now i'm hyuck , what happened to donghyuck?” he grabbed your hips , pulling you flush against him. “pretending to hate me this entire time; when in reality you're just as horny for me as i am for you.”

he closed the already miniscule gap in between you both; your lips dancing with each other , bodies grinding against each other. “bed.” you sighed , he kept his mouth on as he guided you to your bed , pushing you down on the bed. “what happened to letting me be in charge?” you said breathlessly. “that was before , this is now.”

he climbed on the bed , laying against the headboard. “come.” you climbed into his lap , straddling him. “look at you so desperate , take your top off baby.” you lifted your arms up pulling the shirt over your head. “nice tits.” he winked, you rolled your eyes. “i wish i had a gag.” he hummed. “oh , really?” you nodded. “get on your knees , i got one for you.”

you would've rolled your eyes at his corny ass humor , but you were too horny; getting on your knees in front of him , he unbuckled his pants , lifting his hands up , pulling his pants down enough to let his cock free , bobbing against his stomach , tan skin; red and ready to be sucked. “you keep looking at it baby, how about putting that pretty mouth to use.”

you finally put your hand around his length , giving his tip a kiss , he hissed. “fuck.” he sighed , he must've been in some sort of sex dream , but he didn't want wake up if it was. “k-keep going.” if someone told you that you'd be doing this to lee haechan , in your bed, you would've assumed they were doing drugs. “fuuuuck , just like i imagined, keep sucking my cock love.” his head was thrown back against the headboard , his hip bucking up into your mouth , you gagged around him. “sorry love -fuck- i'm about to fucking cum.”

he was loud , if yeji was to come home or if any of the boys decided they want to remember the password to your door like they sometimes do; they would for sure be able to hear him at least. “fuck im cumming.”

you pulled off him , he groaned; wiping your mouth. “you came so much.” you coughed. “ and do you purposely eat pineapples or something?” your voice was scratchy. “could never be so sure,” he said. “freak.” you crawled back into his lap. “yeah , why are you grinding on me then?” you softly moaned. “go-good sex.” he scoffed. “how will you know if i never fucked you?”

“if you keep teasing you never will.” he didn't say anything else , pulling your panties to the side , grinding his hips up, rubbing his cock along your folds , his tip catching your clit. “fuck hyuck , put it in.” you lifted your hips, he held his cock right at your entrance. “sit on it baby.”

both of you moaned out as you felt him fill you out. “g-goddamn.” you hissed. “you're fucking big.” he smirked, you wanted to smack it right off of him. “i know love, -fuck- you've been missing out.” he cursed. “could've been bouncing on my cock almost two years ago , but instead you've been such a bitch to me.” he moaned.

he was holding your ass in his hand as you bounced on his cock , his mouth on your tips , sucking on your nipples. “fuck hyuck im gonna cum!” you gasped out , he pushed your hips down , fucking his hips up at a fast pace. “hyuck fuck!” you screamed. “fuck i'm gonna cum.” you gripped his hair. “oh fuck i love that , pull it again.”

you gripped his hair as you came around him , your cunt sucking him in , cumming. “shit love , im gonna fucking cum.” he held you down , thrusting a few times , before he came with a sigh. “sh-shit.” he had a dumb smile on his face , as he came down from one of the best highs he's ever had. “did i fuck you dumb?” he scoffed. “it takes a lot to fuck me dumb baby , pretty sure that would happen to you before me.” you rolled your eyes. “you wanna bet baby?” he flipped you over with a smirk. “you better hope yeji doesn't come back.”

…

“wait hold on.” renjun said. “you came onto him?” you rolled your eyes. “i’ve been chasing her this entire time , and this one time she got me alone.” you scoffed at the boy who had his arm around your shoulder. “it was the bed line wasn't it?” yeji spoke up. “what bed line.” you said , “no more questions.”

“so i guess you kinda have to believe in the red string theory now.” jaemin said. “yeah , it just took a little longer to work this time.” jeno followed. “come on love , just tell them , you believe it now , even just a bit it.” you thought for a bit , smiling.

“okay maybe i believe in the theory just a little bit.”

©LUVYENI

[sungbeam]

nonidol!jung sungchan x f!reader

at some point beneath the glittering summer sun and along evening tides, you and sungchan tripped over the line drawn in the sand.

▷ genre, warnings. brother's best friend!au, friends-ish 2 lovers, family vacay + sungchan lol, swearing, kissing, fluff, humor, sungchan does go shirtless (it's a beach), mentions of food, mentions of alcohol; lee jeno, sohee, and anton r ur brothers! (so u have the lee last name but u "look more like ur mom"); barely proofread, also im sorry if this is boring my head has not been in the game for Months

▷ word count. 10.0k

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT actively write for or stan riize; this is literally just a birthday present T-T so if dynamics/personalities aren't right, i literally don't know these guys 💀

a/n: happiest birthday to my beloved soulmate and wife @justalildumpling :')) i hope u like it <3

OFTEN when you came back home from work, your joints and muscles ached to the point you could barely stand, your hair felt gross on your head, and your eyes stung from dehydration and sleep deprivation. That was the toll of working closing shift at the restaurant you worked at, and had been working at, for the past several years. 

It wasn't out of the ordinary to see the lights in the house still warm and bright when you got home either. Your family was a handful of night owls, not discounting yourself. They had witnessed you in this particular rat-nest dump of a state time and time again, which was why you didn't worry about looking like Death Incarnate. 

“Hey.”

Your soul left your body. 

Sitting on your living room couch was not a family member. Though, he might as well have been a part of it from how much you had been seeing him lately. Jung Sungchan was your older brother Jeno's best friend, but Sungchan was in your year rather than Jeno's. The two met via the high school soccer team and had been good friends since. 

Years later, he was sitting on the living room couch, nearing one in the morning, his hair damp from a recent shower, T-shirt sleeves rolled up his shoulders, and his phone paused from the game he was playing. Your brain was too tired to even register the amount of muscle packed onto his arms (what the fuck—). 

“Sorry, did I scare you?” He chuckled sheepishly, reaching up to ruffle his dark hair, grown out slightly. 

“What are you doing here?” You blurted instead. Exhaustion meant that conventional politeness was completely defenestrated. It was one in the morning on a summer night… usually your older brother was out clubbing or drinking (not that you were any different, but you worked quite a bit more nights lately). 

Sungchan's eyes danced up and down your form. “Jeno and I decided we're gonna pull an all-nighter for the road trip in—” He glanced over at his phone, “—seven hours and just knock out in the car. How was work?”

Road trip? Car ride? If you could just make it to the shower… “It was fine. Tiring,” you said with a sigh. You trudged over to the far side of the room, behind Sungchan, into the kitchen. You grabbed a cup to fill with water, then drained it down your throat just as fast as it had been filled. 

With water in your body, your systems were finally coming back online. Road trip. Car ride. Your eyes widened. “Oh my god. I have to pack.”

“You haven't packed yet?” He queried, tone light and teasing as he watched the progression of your panic with amusement. “Even Jeno's packed.”

You sputtered back at him, “Quiet, you!”

Sungchan's warm laugh followed you out into the hallway and all the way to your room. You couldn't understand why your face felt so hot; you should have been too preoccupied to be embarrassed, after all. 

You slammed your bedroom door shut, dragging a hand down your face. You couldn't believe Sungchan just saw your I-just-worked-for-eight-hours-in-customer-service face. Not even some of your closest friends had seen the aftermath of your night shifts at work yet. 

Crazy. 

It wasn't every family vacation where a plus-one was invited. Your family tried to set aside time for these trips just for the six of you, but this time was an exception. Somehow—you weren't a part of the delegations—Sungchan was invited on this summer's trip to the coast. Your mom mentioned offhandedly it was because Sungchan “was a nice boy,” or something to that effect. Your family rented out a cabin right along the beach for a week, and the lot of you were going to be stuck in the family minivan for a good eight hours together. 

And if Sungchan was tagging along, that meant you were going to have to fight for the middle row seat or—

“Yn—you’re in the back with Sohee and Anton.”

You came to a screeching halt on your way out of the house, a bucket hat shielding your puffy eyes from the waking world, your duffle strapped over your shoulder. It was seven hours later—an ungodly eight in the morning. “What? Nuh-uh; I don't think so.”

Jeno stood only a few meters ahead of you by the door of the minivan, his hands primed on either side of his hips as if he was the self-proclaimed guardian of the car seating chart. “Well, I said so. Sungchan has longer legs than you—”

“Why don't you sit in the back then?” You shot back with a saccharine sweet smile. You were too tired for this shit. 

Sungchan scratched the side of his head as he walked out of the house to stand by you and join the argument, his flip flops thwacking against the ground. “Uhh, I can sit in the back middle seat. It's cool, dude.”

“Sungchan's too tall for the middle seat,” your dad interjected. He took yours and Sungchan's bags to add to the trunk. “Yn's in the back. Sorry, hon.”

“Dad,” you groaned. 

“You can switch with Jeno half way.”

“Dad!” Jeno squawked this time. 

Your father gave a tired sigh, saying more than he would ever say aloud. “Everyone in the car. Can't you two be like Sohee and Anton? At least they're knocked out.”

“They know they'll be sent to the back without question,” you pointed out as you made your way to the minivan. As you passed by your brother, you sent him a very potent stink eye, then clambered into the back row. 

Like your father had said, your younger brothers, Sohee and Anton, were already dead asleep. Their mouths hung open wide enough to catch any wayward fly with their heads angled back against their neck pillows. You snorted and snapped a photo of them to add to your collection of brotherly blackmail. 

Your mom was settled into the front passenger seat already queuing up driving directions to get to the coast. From your perch in the middle, you had a clear view of her phone screen—seven hours and two minutes. Yay. 

You supposed there wasn't anything too terrible about the middle seat; you were out like a light as soon as the car pulled out of the driveway. 

When you woke up, it was about four hours later, and your parents were having a hushed discussion amongst themselves and Sungchan. A baseball cap had materialized on top of Sungchan's head at some point when you were asleep, and the sleeves of his T-shirt were once again rolled up to expose his muscled shoulders. Did this guy not have a tank top?

“...I like it, at least—well, I don't mind all the extra requirements, and I know it'll help me reach my ultimate end goal, so.”

Your mom let out a hum of approval. “Ah, that's good that you like it. You'll be busy as a nurse.”

Right, Sungchan was in the nursing program. Your brother wasa kinesiology major, and you were going into law. It made for quite the diverse pool in the car. 

You opened your mouth in a yawn and fumbled your hand around your lap for where your earbud had fallen out of your ear, carefully so that you didn't shake off Anton's head on your shoulder. (Oh no, was he drooling?)

“Yn-ah, good morning,” your mother teased quietly. 

You glanced up, eyes going wide when you realized both your mom and Sungchan were now peering back at you. “Morning,” you murmured. Your fingers enclosed around your fallen earbud to tuck it into the case left in the bag at your feet. 

“Sleep well?” Sungchan piped up. There was that twinkle in his eyes, the same one from last night. It made your stomach twist in a way that was more pleasant than not. 

You cleared your throat, unconsciously reaching up to adjust the placement of your bucket hat and praying you didn't look like a sewer rat. “For the most part,” you replied. “How about you?”

He shrugged. “I had a decent power nap. Your mom says you're going into law. That's really cool.”

“Oh,” you blinked. “Thanks. And you're in nursing, right? That's cool, too—super admirable.”

Sungchan's mouth widened into a small grin. “Thanks. It's only our first year, but it feels like so much work already.”

“Right? Tell me about it…”

Less than fifteen minutes later, the family van pulled into the parking lot of a diner off the interstate, exactly halfway through your journey. The seven of you, weary and hungry, filed out of the vehicle and into the establishment. You and your parents slid into one booth, while your brothers and Sungchan occupied the one behind you. 

There was a low-spun fan swirling above your heads, an 80s song you vaguely recognized wafting through the air at a dull decibel. Your phone was stashed away in the bag tucked into your end of the booth seat while you idly sipped on your glass of iced water. 

You jolted at the feeling of something light hitting the back of your head. 

A gasp from behind you. 

You rolled your eyes, twisting around in your seat while picking the wadded up straw wrapper from your hair. “Who did it?” You deadpanned. 

The boys table was filled with sheepish expressions, to their credit. Your younger brothers, who were sitting on the far side facing you, thrusted their fingers in each other's faces in a torrent of blame and accusation. 

“Aish, never mind. I don't care who did it,” you dismissed. Your eyes caught onto Sungchan's. He sat just diagonally to your left and for some reason, his eyes on you made you feel warm. 

You flicked the wrapper back; it hit Anton square in the forehead. Jeno barked out a laugh. 

“Nice shot,” Sungchan nodded, extending his fist to you. 

You couldn't suppress the smile from coming onto your face as you bumped his fist with yours. 

Food arrived swiftly afterward, and it was demolished as quickly as it came. In the sway of a palm tree frond, the seven of you were back in the confines of the family minivan. 

The remainder of the car ride carried over quickly. Though Jeno unhappily sat his ass down in your previous spot with you claiming his from before, he and your other brothers snored away five minutes in. You didn't go back to sleep despite having a full belly and less than five hours of sleep under your belt; you watched the world pass by outside the window in a blur. 

Urban skylines melted into rolling emerald mountains and pastures, sank into palm trees and sandy shores that met a blue horizon as far as the eye could see. 

The beach house your family rented this year was a two story cottage-type. It was small, with only one bedroom and bathroom upstairs, a bathroom downstairs, and a living room and kitchen. The rest was all beach. It was determined that you and your mom would be given the honors of the upstairs bedroom and bathroom, while all the boys piled into the living room. 

Once everyone was settled in, there was little else to do but go make use of your new backyard for the next week. 

“Yn! Come on, slowpoke!” Sohee shouted at you from the shoreline with cupped hands. You saw his bare back as he splashed into the waves after Anton, who was already only a speck in your vision. 

Your bare feet sank into the sand, and you wiggled your toes between the warm grains. Sunshine, glorious and concentrated above the distant horizon, soaked into your skin. Ah, this was the life.

Just as you reached for the hem of your shirt to reveal your bathing suit, you caught movement from the corner of your eye. Jeno and Sungchan were coming onto the beach from the front of the house, a disassembled volleyball net hanging between them. 

Your eyes nearly fell out of your head at the sight of Sungchan's back—

Before Jeno or any of your other brothers or Sungchan could catch you ogling, you gave yourself a nice, mental slap to the face. No more. You needed to stop this. When did you ever look at Sungchan like this?

(You could still remember when he was the gangly kid with the growth spurt trying out for the high school soccer team. He was paired with Jeno to test his potential, and the rest was history.)

Sungchan was the first to spot you as he and Jeno determined a place to set up the net. He beamed boyishly, his chin inclining toward you. “Hey, wanna play?”

Your eyes flickered to the corded necklace hanging from his collar and between his—Yn, shut the fuck up. “Sure,” you said simply, feigning nonchalance. 

If he noticed your wandering eyes, he didn't comment. Instead, he nodded back at you. “Sick.”

You both turned back to your original tasks. Your hands went back to the bottom hem of your shirt to tug it up and off your body. (Maybe you weren't the only one with wandering eyes, though.)

You draped your clothes over the back porch railing and began making your way down to the shoreline. “I'm gonna take a dip and then come back up!” You said to Jeno and Sungchan. 

“Oh, okay—ow!” 

You didn't see nor hear what happened, but when you glanced back, Sungchan had his back turned to you as he furiously rubbed the back of his head, while Jeno smiled innocently. 

Your older brother waved you along. “Carry on!” He said. 

Walking backward for a couple steps, you shot him an incredulous look, then turned around to meet your little brothers in the ocean. Whatever. 

You had been staring at the wooden ceiling above your head for the past forty-five minutes. Your mom's even breathing and the ocean waves rolling outside the window failed to rock you into unconsciousness. You'd figured the sunlight from this afternoon would have made you tired, or perhaps all the food you ate for dinner, but your eyes continued to stay wide open. 

A quiet sigh fell from your mouth as you rolled over onto your side and gently peeled the covers off. With near silent footsteps across the oak floors, you slipped out of the bedroom and down the stairs. 

The cacophony of combined snoring from all the men in the living room was comparable to the volume of the waves just outside. 

You barely contained your snort of amusement. You didn't worry about waking any of them up as you crossed the living room, full of a smorgasbord of limbs and bodies draped across the large couch sectional and blankets on the floor. 

The back door was left unlatched when you reached its threshold. Outside, moonlight dappled across the calm sea like a sprinkling of diamonds. You slowly pried the door open, freezing. 

You and Sungchan made eye contact from across the back porch. He was perched on the top step, nursing a bottle of beer in his hand. A loose breeze wafted through the strands of his hair. 

“Sorry,” you whispered, moving to retreat back into the house. 

“Oh, no—please.” He patted the empty space next to him on the porch step. 

You blinked, at odds. He was clearly out here for a reason and you'd figured he wanted some space, but if he was inviting you, then… 

You closed the back door behind you and settled beside him, with a comfortable amount of negative space between your bodies. You folded your arms over the tops of your knees and stared out at the midnight horizon. It smelled of salt and sea spray, and the light wind was a refreshing crispiness against the humid evening air. 

“Couldn't sleep?” He murmured, glancing over at you. 

You nodded. “Yeah. You?”

He hummed in response. 

“I'm not surprised,” you said. The corners of your lips curled upward. “I wouldn't be able to sleep amongst my brothers either. Their snoring could wake a bear.”

Sungchan sputtered out a laugh as his eyes crinkled upward and he pressed the back of his knuckles against his mouth. “I wasn't gonna say it, but…”

You shared a grin with him. “I will happily say it for you, dude.” 

His eyes were stunning in this lighting. The moonlight hit his irises at an angle that made them shimmer like a shade of molten copper. He licked his lips, and you saw his eyes dart from your eyes, down a few inches, then further down to the beer bottle in his hands. 

“Oh, uh,” he stammered, tipping the bottle nose in your direction, “want some? I thought the alcohol would help me sleep, but it's not looking awfully promising.”

For a split second, your heart leapt at the thought—your mouth pressed against the place his mouth had been, tasting the place he'd drunk from. 

You dashed the thought from your mind. It couldn't have been so significant as your brain was making it out to be. You were probably just sleep deprived. 

“Thanks,” you said while reaching across the gap to accept it from him. Judging by the weight, it was just about half full, and you took a light swig. 

A drop of liquid dribbled out of the corner of your lips, and you swiped it with the pad of your thumb, sticking the finger into your mouth to suck it off. You passed the bottle back over to him, catching his eyes not looking at yours. 

(The organ in your chest was no longer in your chest. Was it normal for your heart to make a home in your throat instead? Why did he look at you like that?)

“Any reason for not being able to sleep?” You asked him to break the silence. “I mean, besides the symphony my brothers and dad are conducting, of course.”

His eyes shuddered, as if breaking out of a trance. “Oh, uhm—nothing in particular, I guess. Maybe it's just from all the excitement. I think it's usually hard for me to sleep in new places.”

You bobbed your head in understanding. “No, I get that. It takes me a little to get used to new environments, too. I don't know how I would have survived if I was living in the dorms at uni and not at home.” The university you attended was a decent commute from your house, so living on campus was never something you gave much thought to. The idea of living independently appealed to you sometimes, but in general, you didn't have a ton of qualms against your circumstances now. 

“For sure,” Sungchan whistled lowly. He contemplated the opening of his beer bottle, then took a gentle sip of its contents. “Have you made a lot of friends? I feel like it's a lot harder than people make it seem.”

You passed him a curious glance this time. “Some, but it's definitely not as easy as high school. You haven't made a lot of friends?”

“The soccer team, mainly,” he chuckled. “The occasional ally in my classes.”

You let out a bright laugh that made his smile widen. “'Ally?’” You parroted. “What a fun word to call classmates.”

“It's true!” He insisted, chuckling. “Some of these professors are evil, man. Competitive grades? Not a chance,” He scoffed. “We're all in this together, even if the curve is against us.”

You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep from being too loud, but the rolling waves likely covered your noise plenty. Your family were deep sleepers. 

“I just figured that you meet lots of people,” you offered when your mirth died down to a giggle. You toed a pile of sand sitting on the last step of the porch. “Your socials are pretty active,” you said, “but I guess I shouldn't judge a book by its cover.”

“I could say the same about you, Miss Party Girl,” he smirked. “When are you gonna drag me to a rave?”

Heat raced up to your cheeks. “I've only been to one,” you said, rolling your eyes. He'd seen that post? First, the post-work daze, and now, the turnt raver? “I haven't gone to a party in a few weeks 'cause of finals anyway.” 

Now that you thought about it, you'd been so busy as of late, you couldn't even count the amount of outings you'd declined on your two hands. 

“Trust me, I get it.” He raised his hands in an act of surrender, his knees angling toward you. The negative space was suddenly a lot less negative. 

Another tip of his beer bottle; it swapped hands once, twice more. The liquid dribbled smooth down your throat just as Sungchan knocked the rest back. The empty glass made a dull thunk sound as it hit the wooden porch to Sungchan's right. 

“So what I'm getting,” you drawled, mimicking his position by angling your knees toward his. You felt your legs brush—the stimulus sent a jolt down your nerves that warned of addiction and tasted like the forbidden. “Is that you've never been to a rave before?”

Sungchan gave a noncommittal shrug. “Maybe I have.”

You mocked his shrug. “Maybe you have.”

“Or maybe it's just that I haven't gone with you yet.”

Even the waves seemed to quiet for a second. Your heartbeat stuttered in your chest, and you tied down the nervous laugh ready to bubble out of your mouth. You bit your lip and found yourself nodding. “We'd paint the town red, Jung Sungchan,” you murmured. 

There it was again—that flicker of his gaze to some place you both knew crossed a line. It was the beer, was what you were telling yourself. It was the beer. 

Seagulls surfed the ever-blue sky. Eternal summer could be thought of as a filter of golden, glittery gauze across one's already rose-colored glasses. But summer, truly, was the shade of Jung Sungchan's tank top peeling off his body as he sprinted down the sandbank after your brother, Anton. 

You watched the fabric whip around in the salt breeze before settling into a heap where his footprint melted into the mineral grains. You were giving Sohee the sunscreen spritz-down up on the covered porch, while Jeno barreled down the bank after his friend and brother. 

From behind you came the scratch of the back door sliding open. You and Sohee peered back to where your mom poked her head out. 

She just barely caught her sunglasses in time as they slipped off her head. “Hey, your dad and I are heading out. Watch each other, okay?”

“Got it!” You and Sohee chirped. 

One more nod from your mom, and then she was gone. Your parents were going to take a date into town, just the two of them. That left you and the boys here with the surf and sand—definitely not a terrible compromise. If you wanted, you could probably have the whole house to yourself, anyway. These guys could entertain themselves. 

“Yn! Sohee!” 

Jeno arced one arm up into the sky to beckon you down to the sea, only to get dragged underwater by his two comrades. You and Sohee harked out twin laughs as you watched Jeno fight for his life with limbs flailing and foam flying into the sky. 

You patted Sohee's shoulder as you set the can of sunscreen onto the porch step. “Alrighty, you're good to go, bro.”

“Thanks—race you down!”

“Hey!” Your laughter echoed as you bolted down the sand after him to join the fun. 

As your feet dug into the wet embankment, your palms made purchase against Sohee's shoulders to shove him into the water. A yelp leapt into the air, and you turned away to avoid getting hit in the face with the consequence of your prank. 

“I'm so gonna get you for that!” Sohee spat water out of his mouth, a wicked grin pulling onto his lips. 

“No, you're not, actually!” 

You bolted—well, stomped, your way through the knee-deep water, furiously trying to get away from karma. Water yanked down on your limbs in a forceful coax to give into your punishment, but you were determined. 

You could hear your brothers’ hollers of encouragement: “Get her, Sohee!” and “RUN, YN, RUN!”

Adrenaline pumped through your veins and you pushed your legs harder. 

“I got her!” Wait, was that Sungchan?—

You suddenly felt a pair of hands on either side of your waist—you swore as your legs came out of the water and your world twisted. 

“No, no, no, no, no!” You squawked, squirming wildly in Sungchan's arms as he scooped you into his hold like a bride. (NO. NOT LIKE A BRIDE. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A BRIDE?—) One arm cradled your back and the other under your knees, and he laughed—he chuckled—as you attempted to flip yourself out of his grasp. 

“You're not getting out of this, party girl,” he said close to your ear. 

For a heartbeat, you lost your breath at the rasp behind his words and the grin on his face. But a heartbeat was all he needed. 

There was free fall, and then all sound muffled as cold water engulfed your body. You plugged your nose and screwed your eyes shut. You felt your ass hit the sand at the bottom in slow motion, before the air in your lungs began to lift you back up to the surface of the water. 

You broke out with a gasp, hair flipping back as you furiously swiped your hands down your face to get the water out of your eyes. They stung like a bitch, but you could feel the rush of blood in your ears; it was thrilling. 

A hand in your vision enclosed around yours.

“You asshole!” You scowled up at Sungchan from where you knelt, though it was half-hearted. 

He beamed back at you boyishly with damp hair hanging in his eyes and water running down the crevices of his stomach like a goddamn system of canals. “You're a good sport, Yn.”

“I'm really not.”

You had the distinct pleasure of seeing the smile slip off his face before you used his grip on you to yank him into the water. You swallowed a good half pint of saltwater, but the revenge couldn't have been sweeter. 

When Sungchan's head broke the surface, it was followed by a dog-like shake of his head. You laughed to turn away from the spray of water; Sungchan delighted at the sound. 

Amusement still lingered on your lips as your eyes snagged on the piece of seaweed that made its home on his head. You didn't think twice about it before leaning closer to reach it. 

You stepped forward, and—oh boy, was that a mistake. 

You had a front row seat view of a droplet of water slipping down the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, and the cliff of his chin. You wrestled down a swallow, and pulled the seaweed off his head, flinging it into the water. 

“You had, uhm, a little…”

“Right, thanks—”

You both flinched apart as a man-made wave of water crashed into your sides. “AMBUSH!” Your three brothers declared, springing up out of the water and parading a full-blown attack with all weapons firing. 

You and Sungchan were swift to launch your own counterattack. 

Merriment filled the summer air as much as saltwater embedded into your skin and eyes and mouth. You almost made the mistake of thinking your racing heart was just from the determination to beat your brothers, and not from the guy on your side of the war. The heat was getting to you and the sun was getting to him.  

It was about an hour later that you found yourself lazing upon the slick and smooth plane of a surfboard. The ocean rocked you gently from beneath the board; it had been surprisingly calm all of today. 

At some point, you and the boys established a truce in the Great Water War, mainly because your brothers were hungry and there was a big, juicy watermelon just begging to be cut open and devoured in the house. 

Suffice to say, you let your brothers figure it out. 

Your consciousness faded into the foreground of your mind as a distant sound of splashing neared. You peaked one eye open, lifting the rim of the hat up to see who dared to encroach upon your isle. 

You could recognize Sungchan's mop of hair from a mile away, at this point. You couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing, but why did it have to be either?

He cropped up right beside you, pushing back his hair to keep the water out of his eyes. “Hi.”

A smile curled onto your lips, teasing. “Hi. Good swim?”

“Good nap?”

“As good as one can be on the open ocean,” you said, shifting the hat up so you could see him better, but keeping your face shaded. “I don't know how dolphins sleep with half their brain on.”

Sungchan's brows rocketed toward his hairline. “They sleep with half their brain on? Crazy.”

“I know. I can't even stay awake with half my brain on.”

You and he shared a laugh, and he set a palm on the board next to your body. “Aw, no,” he assured. “If you've got less than half a brain on at all times, then I've got one brain cell.”

“Joke's on you, half my brain is half a brain cell.”

He wrinkled his nose at you. Cute. “Sweetheart, hate to break it to you, but that's not how brain cells work.”

You nearly fell off the board. “Okay, Mr. Know-it-all, do tell.”

“I'm not about to talk about neurons on my vacation.”

You challenged him with a look. “Overruled, counselor. Answer the question.”

His mouth fell open in a stunned daze, and his reaction made you break face for a moment to laugh. He blinked. “I have to be really honest with you…” Sungchan carded a hand through his hair, then pressed his knuckles to his mouth. “That was really hot.”

Was it suddenly five degrees warmer out here? 

If blood rushing in your ears was akin to the sound of waves crashing, there must have been one hell of a tsunami in your veins right now. 

You sputtered a laugh. “You need to get out of the sun—”

“I'm sorry I said that aloud,” he grimaced sheepishly. 

“Nurse? Nurse!—” You feigned raising your head up to look around for an imaginary nurse in the middle of the ocean. “Oh, right. You are the nurse.”

He groaned, tilting his head back and playfully punching your shoulder. “You're so—”

“Hot?”

You howled at the sight of his cheekbones blooming the color of ripe watermelon. “I'm kidding; I'm teasing!”

He sighed, smiling despite the pain etched onto his gorgeous features. “Never living that down, am I?”

You shifted your position to laying on your stomach now, your arms folded beneath your chin. Sungchan carefully turned the surfboard so the tip faced him, and you were trapped in his gaze, head-on. “It was cute,” you consoled. 

“So you think I'm cute?” He cocked a brow. 

“And you think I'm hot.”

He flicked water at you. “Aaand, there it is!” 

You laughed again, delighted at the red lingering on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. God, he was fucking gorgeous. 

A beat passed for a second. Something settled between the two of you, a thing you couldn't yet put a name on, but it had been there since last night. Or maybe it had been there longer, festering in the negative space between you until said space could become something of a memory. 

You weren't sure why he was here—why he'd swum out here to meet you when his best friend was back at the beach house, gorging on watermelon and getting his ass handed to him in Mario Kart by his siblings; why he all of a sudden occupied a part of your mind like the tide creeping up the embankment at four in the afternoon. At first, he was far enough for you to settle into a false sense of security; until all of a sudden, there he was, the foamy waves lapping at your feet and his smile the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes. 

His tongue swiped over his lips and he cleared his throat. “So, uh, watermelon?” That was his original reason for coming out here. (He did volunteer, after all.)

You perked up. “Right, sure. Watermelon.”

“Great.” He broke into a smile, but the corners of it were softer, fonder. You could get used to the look of it. 

There was this saying—the elephant in the room—but here in the cabin living room, it was definitely more of a blue whale. Just completely out of the water, weighing about thirteen tons, the size of twelve school buses… yeah, that sounded about right. 

“GO FISH!” Anton flung his finger across the circle at Jeno with the glee of a kid on Christmas morning. “Suck it!”

Your mom sent an express glare his way. “Anton.”

Your youngest shrunk down sheepishly. “Sorry, eomma.”

The seven of you were settled in the living space this fine evening with a deck of cards. Your parents were on the couches watching the movie on screen and the game before them, while you, your brothers, and Sungchan huddled around the coffee table playing said game. Sunsoaked and weary, it only took one hearty and filling dinner to perk the lot of you right back up like a field of sunflowers.

“This is a stupid game,” Jeno sulked as he examined his hand of cards. 

“You only say that because you're losing,” you pointed out. “Anyways, Jeno, can I have that three?”

Jeno cut you a glare as the rest of the table rolled into fits of laughter. Your smile was cheeky, reaching out to snatch the three Jeno revealed he had during his turn. 

“That's cold,” Sohee snorted. 

Your eyes darted over to Sungchan opposite you. His eyes were glimmering. “Yeah, I didn't know you had so much ruthlessness in you, Yn.”

“Why do you think she's going into law?” Jeno grunted. Though one card less, it meant that he had one less pair in his finished pile. At this rate, you might win and end up with the most pairs. 

“Guys, it's literally just how you play the game.” You nodded over at Sohee. “Sohee, do you have a jack?”

Your younger brother handed it over without ceremony. “Unfortunately.”

“Anton, do you have an ace?”

He shook his head. “Go fish, noona.”

“See?” You said to the rest of the table, but your eyes went to Sungchan's. “The nature of the game.”

They let you off the hook because you didn't plunder everyone of their cards this round. It continued on with Sohee, then Anton, before landing on Sungchan. 

He made a show of considering his cards, a furrow between his brows. He glanced up at you over the rim of his hand and gestured with a curl of his fingers. “I'd like that ace, Yn.”

“Oooh,” Anton giggled. 

Jeno grinned as you extended the ace across the table to Sungchan. “Karma.”

“Thank you—” his fingers grazed against yours as he plucked the card from your grasp, “—very much.”

You pressed your lips into a small smile, nose wrinkling up at him. You had a few cards left to rid yourself of. 

Your dad cleared his throat as he stood up from the couch to bring his empty bowl to the sink. “By the way, are you kids still going into town tomorrow?”

The five of you exchanged brief eye contact with one another. “Yep.”

The idea had come up during dinner after your parents came back. They'd mentioned a variety of activities and little shops to visit that might be fun for you to see, including a hand churned ice cream shop and a port side arcade building. It would just be the five of you going, while your parents would walk down to the beach trails about a mile from the cabin to go hiking. 

In the morning, you and everyone else in the house took your time getting up and ready for the day. Breakfast was taken together at the table before you split off into your separate parties. 

Jeno took the wheel with Sungchan riding shotgun, and you sat in the middle row with Sohee, while Anton occupied the back. You rolled down your window to rest your chin on the fold of your elbow, your sunglasses slipping down the bridge of your nose as you watched the scenery pass by. 

Right in front of you, Sungchan also had his window rolled down with his arm propped on the lowered sill. He chatted animatedly with Jeno about whatever game he and all three of your brothers were playing this morning, but you could feel his gaze go to his side view mirror more than once. 

The ride was an easy, breezy one. 

The main town center bustled with locals and visitors alike in the late morning. Jeno found free parking about a block away, and the five of you walked over as one big group. 

“Ice cream first!” Anton declared with one arm raised toward the sky. 

“I concur,” you chimed in. You lifted your sunglasses up slightly so you could read the town directory easier. “Seems like we're close by.”

Anton nodded in approval. “Onwards, then.”

You and your youngest brother led the way. The idea of ice cream made your mouth water, especially since you could already feel a bead of sweat dribble down your spine. Why was it so goddamn hot?

The shop was a cute, little building with a pink and white striped awning and a large window in the front that gave visitors a front row view into the ice cream churning experience. You snorted as Anton pressed his nose up against the glass, a wide grin splitting his face. 

“You're scaring the workers, dude,” you jested, tugging your brother along. 

Anton scrunched his nose up at you. “You scare me every morning.”

“Just because you're a wimp when I put toner pads on—hey! Do you want ice cream or not?” You cackled as he attempted to flick you square in the forehead. 

Jeno groaned. “Guys, can we please act normal for once?” He asked as he swung the door open for everyone. 

Sungchan beat you to the punchline, slapping his friend on the back while he ducked inside. “That's rich coming from you, man.”

“Hey!” 

The squabble was swiftly swept out of your mind when you stepped foot into the shop. You were nearly knocked over from the potency of the sugary waffle cone scent that occupied the room. At the sight of tubs upon tubs of frozen treats kept within the display case, your entire face lit up, eyes going glassy with wonder. “Oh no, too many to choose from,” you gasped, cupping the lower half of your face. 

Sungchan chuckled beside you as he crossed his arms and assessed the dozen options before you. “I didn't know you were such an ice cream fanatic, party girl,” he mused. He glanced over at you with a fond sort of gleam in his eye. 

“Don't even get her started,” Sohee groaned. “She and Anton have a sweet tooth to rival Willy Wonka.”

Anton flagged down one of the workers, having already found his targets to try. He was in here for less than two minutes and was already rattling off the entire menu to the poor girl behind the counter. 

“Tiramisu sounds really good,” you muttered. Your eyes moved slowly from tub to tub. Another gasp flew from your lips, and you clasped a hand on Sungchan's shoulder. “Wait—but strawberry shortcake—hhhhh.” You wrinkled your brows together, lips pressed into a taut line. 

This was not good. 

“You could always get a double scoop,” Sungchan suggested. 

You bobbed your head. “That's true, but I'm just worried I won't be able to finish, y'know.”

“Well, maybe I'll get one of the flavors you want and we can split.” His shrug was all too casual. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, biting his lip through a smile. 

The organ in your chest gave a hop, skip, and a leap. You weren't sure if it was at the thought of it all working out alright or if it was because of Sungchan's generous gesture. You were telling yourself it was the former, but you could be persuaded it was the latter if given a light shove in that direction. 

When everyone's scoops were paid for, you fell into a loose formation to stroll around town while you finished your treats. 

You and Sungchan were glued to each other's sides out of necessity since you were sharing flavors. Jeno walked on his other side, however, lapping at his cotton candy blue scoop seated upon a throne of waffle cone. The two youngest walked in front, leading you all to wherever they wished to go. 

The town itself was rather quaint when you finally soaked it in. It seemed like the kind of place everyone knew everyone, and if you were new or only visiting, the locals were just as friendly and welcoming. The town center was stocked with anything a resident might need—a small grocer down the street, clothing stores and restaurants lining the boulevard, a newspaper stand at the corner, a laundromat, a hardware store, and more places you were certain you wouldn't be able to see in just one walk. 

As you scooped a bite out of some of the last bits of tiramisu in Sungchan's cup, Jeno was summoned up to his brothers who were debating over which way they should turn next. You and Sungchan lingered behind to finish off the ice cream in your respective cups. 

Just as you slurped up the melted shortcake ice cream at the bottom of yours, your eyes caught onto a storefront behind Sungchan. It was decked out in cliché boho-chic, with braided nets, shells, and sand dollars in the window and over the door frame. The souvenir shop seemed to embody the quintessential tourist trap, and you didn't mind falling into it. 

“—guys, we're gonna go to the arcade now!” Jeno said, beckoning you and Sungchan over. They must have decided on a route then. 

You made your decision. “You guys can go ahead! I'm gonna pop into this place for a second. I promised I'd get my friend Minjeong something.” Minjeong was one of the few close friends you made at university, and though you didn't promise to her face you'd get her something, you were determined to get her a little trinket as a token of your affection. 

“You're gonna go alone?” 

You blinked. “Yeah, I'll just meet you guys at the arcade.” 

Sohee piped up, “But mom said buddy system.” Okay, you should probably honor that, but it wasn't as if the four of you always followed that rule. 

“I'll go with you.”

All eyes went to Sungchan who tossed his empty cup and spoon into the nearby trash can. He gave a nonchalant lift of his shoulders. “I wanted to get my mom something anyway.”

You tilted your head to the side curiously as Jeno narrowed his eyes at Sungchan, like they were communicating telepathically. Odd. 

In fact, you didn't really know what to think about being alone with Sungchan. There was a difference between coincidentally ending up on the porch together or conversing in the ocean away from everyone else, to purposefully breaking off from the group to spend time with each other. 

Then again, he said he was getting something for his mom. That gave a different implication to him volunteering to accompany you. The goal was capitalism, not something forbidden.

Maybe you were thinking about this too much. 

“Okay, fine,” Jeno relented. “We'll meet you at the arcade, but don't take too long or we'll leave without you.”

“Aye-aye,” you teased, raising a hand to wave goodbye to your brothers. “C'mon, Sungchan.”

You dumped your empty ice cream cup and spoon into the trash before slipping inside the souvenir shop with Sungchan following right after you. You lifted your sunglasses up on top of your head, skin prickling with gooseflesh from the draft of air conditioning wafting overhead. A soft-toned acoustic played in the background, accompanied by the cheery greeting of a staff member from behind the register. 

You and Sungchan lifted your hands in warm reply, then disappeared into the aisles to explore. 

Your fingers grazed along the racks of clothes branded with the beach town's name and minimalist artwork; your eyes roamed over the ships displayed in bottles on the walls, the not-for-sale surfboard hung for decor. Like many souvenir shops, there were several turning displays that boasted rows upon rows of themed keychains with specific names engraved into them. 

“I will never find my name amongst these,” Sungchan mused quietly from beside you as the two of you rifled through the surfboards and seashells and sharks. “And yet, I look for the S names all the time.”

“Valid,” you nodded. “Sometimes I can't find my name either, but it's the hope that gets you.”

“And fails you,” he pointed out.

“Touché.” 

Near the keychain displays stood a tower of hats and head accessories galore. There were crocheted bonnets, straw hats, ball caps, and even headbands. Your expression glittered as you plucked up a headband with twin sunflowers on the top like a pair of antennas. 

After hanging your shades on your shirt color, you donned the headpiece, twirling around to show Sungchan. “Thoughts?” You asked, failing to sweep your grin away. 

Sungchan beamed back at you. “Oh, you're too cute.”

You ignored the heat creeping up the back of your neck to reach for another headband—this time, one topped with red crab claws. Sungchan graciously bowed his head for you to crown him with the piece. 

“Fabulous,” you declared with your hands on your hips. 

He peered into the small mirror to the side of the hat rack. “You think?”

“Of course.” So much so, that you pulled out your phone to snap a picture. You tilted your head toward his to fit both of your faces and headbands in the frame. 

Sungchan peered over your shoulder to take a glimpse at the photos. His tongue was jammed into his cheek, and you could feel his breath along the shell of your ear. “Send me those?”

“I'd need your number first.”

He grinned boyishly, roughing a hand through his hair before taking your phone from you. “You don't even have to ask.”

As he saved his contact information into your phone, you attempted to calm the giddy butterflies in your stomach by peering back into the mirror at the headband on your head. You squished the plush sunflower heads with your fingers, humming thoughtfully. “I low-key wanna buy this.”

He glanced up from your phone before handing it back to you. “If you buy that one, I'll buy this one,” he replied, pointing up at the crab claws on his head. 

“You're such an enabler,” you jested. A beat passed. “Okay, but only if you get it with me.”

“That is what I said,” he chuckled, eyebrows arched. 

The remainder of the time you and Sungchan spent in the shop was mainly to figure out what you would purchase for Minjeong and what Sungchan would buy for his mom. (Mainly, implying that there was still room for shenanigans.) It took a little more than half an hour, but you both emerged from the souvenir shop with a gift bag each, containing your headbands and the baubles bought. 

The arcade was only about a ten minute's walk from your location, so you and Sungchan took your sweet time getting there. As the two of you walked—the backs of your hands grazing against one another, shoulders bumping—you nearly forgot that Sungchan was your brother's good friend. Jeno had never made it a point that you and his friends should never mix, and you knew he could care less about your love life, but this was different. (Was it?) It felt like something that shouldn't happen, and yet, why were you starting to want it so badly?

The outside of the arcade was a cream colored building, much like the others in town, but with large posters on the outside beckoning guests to come in and try their hand. Your brothers texted you to let you know they were in a game of laser tag right now, so that gave you and Sungchan a little more time to yourselves within the arcade. 

“I have an idea!” Sungchan grabbed your free hand and hauled you off toward something in the distance. 

The feeling of your fingers slotting with his had more than just your steps skipping. “Hey, man—you and your long legs need to chill!” You hollered at him through a laugh. 

He sent you a look over his shoulder before stopping at one corner of the arcade. With jazz hands, he presented his marvelous idea. “Ta-da!”

Before you was an all-time classic: Dance Dance Revolution. 

Your eyes widened just as your smile did. “It's like you read my mind,” you marveled. 

The machine was just like the movies with a multicolored screen of bright blues and purples, a platform with two sets of arrows in the floor, and two arched rails at the back for each player to hold onto as they danced the night away. 

Sungchan marched up onto the platform and fished a wadded up paper bill out from his wallet. “Have you played before?”

When the machine devoured his money, the screen leapt to life and blasted its opening music to announce that somebody was willing to step up to the challenge. 

You set your gift bag down at the foot of the platform and climbed up to join him. “I've only seen it done before, but I've always wanted to try it.”

You and he locked eyes, and you were sure the twinkle in his was a reflection of just how excited you were. 

“Well, today is your lucky day, party girl,” he chirped. “Let's see what you've got.”

It didn't take long for you to figure out that “what you've got” was a lot less than whatever Sungchan had. 

You grappled onto the railing behind you tightly as you stomped your feet against the coordinating arrows that flashed on-screen. How long had it been since that fateful first round? Ten minutes? Two days? It was all mashing together. 

“This is unfair; you have longer limbs,” you groaned after missing a few arrows in a row. Why were you so out of breath?

A bead of sweat dribbled down the side of Sungchan's head. It was almost comical how serious you were both taking this game. “I have practice,” he corrected cheekily. 

“Same difference!”

“A master never blames his tools.”

You huffed. “Bullshit.”

At this point, your losses were becoming ridiculous. Desperate times called for desperate measures. 

For a sequence you knew you were going to miss, you leaned over and pinched his side. Sungchan jolted—it did the trick, and he missed the steps. His head whipped over to you, an impish gleam in his irises. 

“Oh ho ho… you wanna play that game?”

You placed your hand on your hip as the round ended. “If I'm gonna lose, might as well go out with a bang.”

His tongue swiped over his lip. “You're on.”

The next round commenced, and adrenaline spiked through you like a spear, more powerful than before. You knew to expect Sungchan's revenge, but you struck first. 

A poke at his side resulted in a tickle at your waist. You returned his parry with a blind poke at his stomach. 

Anticipating his response, you spotted his arm incoming out of your periphery and moved to step out of his reach. Instead of solid platform, however, your breath hitched at the feeling of half your sandal slipping off the edge. 

Sungchan's eyes went wide and his arm instead curled around your waist and hauled you to him. “Shit,” he muttered, “are you okay? Sorry, that was totally my fault.”

Your palms had landed on his chest, your heart rate slowing but not fast enough. All of the excitement in your veins was likely more so from the game itself, and not from almost falling off the platform… and perhaps, another part of it was you realizing just how close you and Sungchan were now. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I'm completely fine; don't even worry about it. And it wasn't your fault—I miscalculated my step and I started it anyway.”

He pressed his lips together. “Still.”

“Nice catch, by the way,” you said quietly. 

You saw his eyes leave your gaze, and this time, you followed in his movements. He ducked his head, almost shyly. “I guess so,” he chuckled. “I'm glad I caught you.”

If anything, your heartbeat was gaining speed again. The hand pressed into your waist was a little more addicting than you would have liked, and his mouth was closer than you thought it had been. 

In the neon glow of the Dance Dance Revolution screen, you and Sungchan leaned toward one another with one aim, and one aim only. 

“Hey guys!” 

You leapt off the dance platform at the same time that Sungchan zipped to his side, gripping the railing with an expression akin to a deer caught in headlights. 

You pressed a hand against your palpitating heart and turned to find all three of your brothers bounding over to where you and Sungchan were. 

“Oh my god,” Anton gasped, “is that DDR?”

It seemed that Anton and Sohee were more focused on the game than yours and Sungchan's compromising position. But Jeno… you noted the suspicious narrowing of his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest…

You swore you and Sungchan swallowed at the same time. 

“Did we interrupt something?” Jeno drawled. 

“Nope!” 

You and Sungchan looked at each other at your simultaneous answer. Great. That definitely wasn't even more conspicuous or anything. 

Jeno pressed his lips together. “Uh-huh,” he said, unconvinced. “Well, Mom and Dad texted and asked for us to meet them at the house, so we've gotta go.” He lifted the screen of his phone up for you to see. Dear god, you hadn't even realized they'd texted the group chat.

You cleared your throat. “Right.” 

You picked up your gift bag, and your younger brothers immediately flanked you on either side to gush about the game of laser tag they had just partaken in. Though you nodded and engaged in their conversation, your mind was elsewhere. 

Plus, it was hard not to be hyper aware of the fact that Sungchan was now alone to face Jeno somewhere behind you. You were not looking forward to the car ride back.

There were always some, unspoken fine lines that should not be crossed—at least, purposefully. In retrospect, you knew Jeno didn't care about who you chose to spend your time with, as long as they treated you right. In the same vein, you didn't care much about what he thought when it came to your own decisions, and yet, you found yourself caring a little more because this was one of his friends. Not yours. 

But feelings were feelings… and you were slowly coming to terms with yours. 

It was like déjà vu when you crept down the stairs in the dead of night for the second time this vacation. You simply could not bear staring at that wooden ceiling any longer with your mind reeling from this afternoon's events. 

The living room was yet again a cacophony of light snoring, and you crossed the room toward the back door once more. 

You paused again, the sight of Sungchan's back a familiar one. Instead of sitting on the porch steps, though, he leaned against the railing, gazing out at the dark waves. It was yet another calm night out on the embankment, but the moon tonight was hidden away behind a few wisps of cirrus clouds. 

He glanced over his shoulder at you. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you greeted softly, gently closing the door behind you so you could join him at the railing. It was funny how you both were on the same wavelength. Fate had a funny way of encouraging you.

You and he hadn't properly spoken since the arcade, and Jeno hadn't said a word about it to you either. Dinner had gone on normally enough, so you were unsure of where this all stood. 

“I wanted,” Sungchan began, “to talk to you about something.”

You glanced over at him and found his eyes already on you. “Sure, of course.”

He straightened, gesturing to the sandy beach beyond. “Walk with me?”

You nodded and followed him down the porch steps. Your feet met the cool grains of sand, and a sense of calm seeped into your bones from the bottom up. 

A hand outstretched in your vision, uncertain. You clasped your hand in his palm, and the pair of you began to walk. You couldn't recall whether you began to adore the feeling of your hand wrapped up in his earlier or just now. 

“So…” you trailed off. 

“So,” he picked up. “About earlier today. I wanted to, uhm, make sure we were on the same page about something.” 

He stopped you both when you were a good distance from the house, where the waves slipped along the sand louder than the snores. 

“I had a really fun time with you today,” he said. 

You nodded your head in earnest. “I had a great time with you, too.”

He smiled then, hand letting go of yours to drag over his face. “I'm—I’m happy to hear that,” he replied, and you were sure he was trying to hide his growing giddiness. 

You reached over and gently pried his hands away from his face. “Did Jeno talk to you about today? Did he say anything?” Before he could reply, you added, “Because I know he means well, but who I choose to spend my time with is my decision. If he can't handle us together, then he'll have to learn to suck it up.”

“He did say something to me about it,” Sungchan admitted, “but it was just to make sure I wasn't playing around.” With his hands locked in yours, he gave your palms a reassuring squeeze. “And Yn, I'd like to take you out sometime—properly. No playing around.”

No more toeing the line in the sand. 

Your heart rattled violently in your chest. “I'd really like that.”

His expression melted into something tender, like the dark swirls of molten chocolate in the scoop of tiramisu ice cream. His thumb grazed over the back of your hand. “Okay,” he murmured, barely audible over the soft laps of the waves, “good.”

He considered you for a moment longer, teeth digging into his bottom lip. “I also—I did intend on kissing you earlier today, and I probably should have prefaced it, but—mmmh!”

You looped your arms around his neck and pulled his mouth over to yours. He sank into your hold with a content hum, his hands slipping around your waist to tug you closer to him. You'd never really thought about what kissing Jung Sungchan would be like, but you knew that your imagination couldn't have been better than this. 

When you broke apart with your foreheads pressed against each other and sharing breathing air, you let out a small laugh. The sound coaxed a warm chuckle out of your counterpart. 

“Sorry,” you breathed against his lips, “I probably should have asked first.”

He smiled against you. “You can apologize by kissing me again.”

He most certainly didn't have to tell you twice.

a/n: pls remember to reblog + comment if u enjoyed! (idek if that was good, im off my Game and off my Rocker dkfnrj)

m.list

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @luumiinaa @meosjinn @fluorescentloves @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @kflixnet

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream when they realized that they're in love with you, their fake girlfriend.

Mark Lee

It started with jealousy. Really. Mark should've known but to stay within the boundaries you two established. You two are fake dating because you're tired of explaining to your parents that you don't need a boyfriend at the moment, so Mark came into the rescue. Mark knew that you don't want any commitments at the moment but oh, when you started to have crush on this classmate of yours, it left a sour impression on him. He was having a push-and-pull moment with his feelings bec first of all, you two aren't in a real relationship, and second, he doesn't have the right to be jealous. But why is he jealous? It probably took Mark days to realized that he's in love with you and his jealousy was the result of it. 

Huang Renjun

You and Renjun are platonic soulmates. That's what you two are and despite the whole fake dating scenario, nothing changes between the two of you. BUT that's what Renjun thought. It started with the way he noticed that you prefer wearing makeup on your stressful days, and leaves your face bare during normal days. Then he remembers your drink order at a local coffee shop near your university, or how your hair smells like candy mixed with roses. Renjun unknowingly remembers all these small detail of yours, and he couldn't help but to notice you more. Day by day, slowly it became an epiphany to him, that italicized, "oh." he's in love with you. 

Lee Jeno

It was an intimate moment between the two of you. On a late-night convenience store run, you two strucked a conversation that you two never had ever since you two entered a fake relationship. It ranged from senseless topics to serious ones, like your future, your dream, and what you want to do after graduating college. Jeno hums quietly as he listen to your thoughts, he couldn't help but to stare at you, fond because your face was full of expression. So the moment you slipped out that you're uncertain about relationships in your future, Jeno was strucked. That's when he realized that he couldn't imagine his future without you, and a part of him was convinced, that maybe you two should make this relationship be real. 

Lee Donghyuck

it's rare for you to go on radio silence. It's not that Haechan's worried or anything, but as his fake gf, you're the type to give him update or what-nots in case there's an emergency where you two need to act like a couple. So when you're not responding to his messages, Haechan found himself going to your apartment, knocking on the door twice. It took him a few minutes to wait until you opened the door --- both of you are surprised to see each other. Haechan found himself staring at your crying face, (you're in the middle of a breakdown.) "what happened!?" he asked with an angry tone, thinking that someone hurt you. Okay, maybe Haechan is worried about you, and he felt himself hurting because you're in that situation. 

Na Jaemin

Despite being in a fake relationship, you and Jaemin agreed that you two can still meet other people. I mean, the fake relationship is just so your ex would stop bothering you. It worked but you two maintain it because nothing changed between the two of you. You know that Jaemin keeps on seeing other girls, and you're not worry about it, since you don't have plans of having a boyfriend at the moment. (And what you have with Jaemin is very platonic.) But what you don't know is that Jaemin had that weird feeling whenever he's around with another girl. That he feels like he's cheating on you, and no matter how many girls he tried to meet, he always finds himself looking for you instead. 

Zhong Chenle

It started with a fight. A huge misunderstanding that was followed by a miscommunication. It's been a week since you two fought and your anger to Chenle never perished. He was being unreasonable for someone who's a fake bf! He thinks that he's right and wanted to stand on his opinion even though you explained to him calmly your side. But it seems like he doesn't want to believe you, so you walked out first. It's been a week and the guilt is eating Chenle up. Having received an intervention from his friends not only about the fight but also about your fake relationship with him, Chenle probably had an epiphany moment when one of them blurted out, "do you love her?" and then he realized, "oh shit, i do love her." 

Park Jisung

When you and Jisung entered a fake relationship, there were rules and boundaries that shouldn't be crossed --- one of them are physical touches like hugs and kisses. BUT it was a party. Everyone was drunk, and you two became the center of the dares. It was just a kiss, they say. You two are dating, so a kiss would be harmless right? And as much as Jisung tried to avoid it, you ended up only giving him a nod, a permission to him to do it. It was probably one of the best five seconds of his life. After the kiss, Jisung would be so dumbstruck about it, even though he apologized to you after and you brushed it off, he couldn't help but to still think about it. He was sleepless!! he wanted to kiss you again, but this time, he wanted it to be real and genuine. 

[tqmies]

NCT Dream + FWB (But you're both whipped)

How Nct Dream would react to being your friend with benefits (but you have feelings for each other)

Minors DNI - NOTE, requests are open for reactions :D

MARK is so nonchalant about it, when in reality, he's never done this before. Neither had you though, so you're not sure what lines you're not supposed to cross. What? It's not normal to kiss your fwb on the lips and tell him you love him? Or for him to let you spend the night?

He digs his fingers into the side of your hips as you bounce on his cock. Letting lewd noises slip as he moans out, a string of praise and I love you's as he releases his fat load in you. Yeah, you aren't gonna be friends for long.

When it come's to RENJUN, I see someone who agreed to this arrangement solely because he already had feelings for you. It's pretty much been torture knowing you two weren't exclusive, but it wasn't what you agreed to anyways. He's pretty good at keeping it in until one day it just slips out.

He's lapping at your cunt, your fingers gripping his hair as he looks up to you with glazed over eyes as he whines. "Would you let me be your boyfriend? Please, I can't do this anymore, want you all to m-myself."

It's ironic that JENO catches feelings when he was the one dead set on no strings attached. You two were strangers before this but now he's starting to memorize your hobbies you talk about after, or the way you like your coffee in the morning, and the fact that you like the same music at him. Though, he's not going to confess until you do.

"So pretty for me and only me right?" He grins, pounding you into the mattress as he presses your face down. "My dumb baby can't answer? That's too bad, I love hearing what you have to say"

After the first time you two sleep together, you are HAECHAN's. Just accept it, he's not letting you go now. He's going to treat you like he's your boyfriend anyways, might as well make it official. Even if you insist on keeping things casual, he's going to make you question why you wanted to in the first place.

"Mmph," He babbles on you grip the base of his cock, slightly teasing him. "No one makes me feel like you do, we were made for each other. You're my soulmate."

JAEMIN hates this kind of relationship, he wants something more and you know it. Yet, he knew that you weren't one to be tied down, you even kept messing around with other people. Though he might just change your mind.

"You make me so mad." He grunts as he continued to slam into you as a vigorous pace, and you've already been fucked dumb. "You know I'm the only one who could get you like this, don't see why you'd want anyone else."

He's your exes roommate, you know it isn't right, CHENLE knows it isn't right. But how could something so wrong feel this good? He's always though you were pretty, relieved when his roommate broke your heart, but don't worry, he's here to make you feel better.

He continues to hold his hand over your mouth as he whispers. "You're gonna have to keep it down. I know you can't help moaning like a slut when I fuck you like this, but you wouldn't want your ex to find you, would you?"

JISUNG doesn't realize you're not together. You kiss, have sex, sleep over, and go on mini dates. What do you mean he's not your boyfriend? You've been telling people you're single?!

He tries to catch his breath as you pass him through your lips, taking him in as he winces. "D-Do you just suck off all your friends like this?"

[captain-joongz]

fanfiction recommendations/my favourite reads in 2023

♤ in pursuit of wedded bliss by @fantasyescapes17

regency au, each members has his own story, but they're interconnected

choi seungcheol

◇ push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by @dontflailmenow

camboy!seungcheol, ex's best friend!seungcheol, enemies to lovers

♧ down bad (so so bad) by @lovelyhan

idol!seungcheol x pet sitter!reader

☆ always only you by @honeyhotteoks

brother's best friend!seungcheol, friends to lovers

♤ caught in a trap by @cheolism

brother's best friend to lovers au

kim mingyu

☆ a sheep in wolf's clothing by @rubyreduji

virgin!mingyu x experienced reader

♤ creep by @smileysuh

serial killer!ghost!mingyu, touch starved!mingyu, halloween fic

ot8

◇ skz drabble by @leviackermanscleaningbuddy

a/b/o, cnc, primal play

♧ sharing = caring by @cbini

bf!chan sharing you

☆ camcorder by @tasteracha

bf!minho x reader x chan, a little pervy chan

♤ five for five by @bh-archive

chan x hyunjin x hongjoong x san x juyeon x reader

◇ some things are better left unknown by @roseykat

chan x felix x reader, threesome

lee minho

♧ dilf!minho by @cinhomi

dilf!minho x baby sitter!reader, breeding kink, pregnancy talk

bang chan

☆ bad idea by @hyunsvngs

step dad!chan, getting together, infidelity

hwang hyunjin

♤ dressing down by @jl-micasea-fics

best friends to lovers, mutual pining

lee felix

◇ best friend felix by @ddyskz

best friends to lovers, fluffy smut

♧ felix + thigh riding by @straykeedz

☆ cockwarming by @dreaming-medium

coworkers au, secretary!felix, office sex

ot7

♤ shadows we trust by @remedyx

supernatural au, mystical creatures!bts, dark circus au

◇ masked miracles by @remedyx

hybrid!bts, detective!reader

♧ stay alive by @staytinyville

mythical creatures!bts, supernatural au

☆ trouvaille by @spookyserenades

hybrid!bts, witch!reader, supernatural au, some horror themes

♤ eternally theirs by @imnotlauriane

dragon!bts, soulmates au, knights au

◇ the lucky seven by @riphobisbraces

hybrid!bts, princess!human!reader

♤ emerald gem by @sweetlyskz

hybrid!bts, reader has a farm, strangers to lovers

♧ oh, little red by @jincherie

wolf!yoongi x reader x wolf!jimin, red riding hood au

min yoongi

☆ celestial ruin by @remedyx

fallen angel!yoongi x angel!reader, corruption arc

♤ fxck a fxckboy by @yoongifis

fuckboy!yoongi x smartass!reader

kim taehyung

◇ isn't that what brothers do? by @aris-ink

step brother!taehyung, forbidden romance, dub con

♧ black swan by @aris-ink

step dad!taehyung, manipulation, corruption, cheating

☆new flame by @gimmethatagustd

alpha!taehyung x omega!reader, heat sex

jeon jungkook

♤ family secrets by @aris-ink

step brother!jungkook, dry humping

◇ icarus by @aris-ink

step brother!jungkook, risky/sneaky sex

♧ close by @aft3rhrs

step brother!jungkook, forbidden romance

choi soobin

☆ let's play a game by @anyamaris

soobin x reader x yeosang (ateez), friends to lovers, primal play

♤ closed doors by @last-words-ofashootingstar

soobin x reader x hongjoong, idol au, obsessed!soobin

◇ super shy! by @fairyofshampgyu

shy virgin baker!soobin x experienced reader

♧ i &lt;3 nerds by @enha-cafe

nerdy!soobin secretly a sex god au

multiple members

☆ drippin' by @ncteez

'00 line x reader, friends to lovers, birthday orgy

♤ cookie jar by @neopuppy

step brothers!jeno and jaemin x reader, stuck in a dryer au

♧ sos by @neopuppy

a/b/o, sex pollen au, pollen induced heat/rut

lee jeno

☆ shameless by @neopuppy

step son!jeno x step mom!reader, infidelity, very dub con

♤ hand kink by @jaylaxies

roommates au, hand kink

lee mark

◇ i can help by @recklessmark

step dad!mark, corruption, manipulation, infidelity

ATEEZ rec list pt. 1 | pt. 2

[writemekpop]

Imperfect | Lee Jeno

Summary: You and Jeno make a list of everything you don’t like about each other. 

Genre: Established relationship AU, angst

Word count: 1k

“You don’t believe in soulmates?” Jeno says, as you lie with your head on his chest. His fingers freeze in your hair, showing his shock. 

“I mean, you’re not gonna like everything about your partner,” you say.

“You don’t like – things about me?” Jeno says. “Like what?” 

Your breath falls short. 

“Not big things!” you say, struggling to dig yourself out of this hole. “Your aftershave! It’s a little… intense.” You suppress a grin. “Like I’m drowning.”

Jeno flops back onto the pillow. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You’ve gotta have things you don’t like about me too!” you insist.

“I can’t think of any,” Jeno groans. “I’m too busy trying to smell myself!” 

You hug Jeno tightly, savouring the feeling of his tight muscles beneath your hands. 

“Let’s just make a list, okay? Whenever something bothers us, we’ll write it down, then at the end of the week, we’ll share. No fights.” 

Jeno smiles. “Good idea.”

-- One week later --

Jeno tries to snatch the piece of paper from you. “Just show me! It’s been ages...”

You wrestle the paper out of his hands. Your heart is racing. “One sec! Just making some – last minute – edits.”

You are desperately scratching half of your list out with a pencil – because you realised that Jeno’s list was just a tiny post-it note, whereas you had a full sheet. 

Jeno snatches the paper from your fingers. “A-ha!” Jeno says. 

He clears his throat dramatically. “Mis-matching socks. Too afraid to talk to the people at the store.” He sits down on the bed, a frown growing on his face. “Kind of ugly… laugh.” The paper starts to shake in his hands. “Sort of – a – crybaby.”

Jeno tries to fling the paper on the floor, but it just wafts slowly down. His chest is rising and falling fast. He scrubs his eyes furiously. 

“Hey! Don’t be mad!” you say, sitting next to him. “You wrote a list about me too. Oh, Jeno, please don’t be upset.”

Jeno glares at you, his eyes red. “I’m not upset. Because that would make me a huge crybaby, and you hate that.”

He storms out of the room. 

You scramble to the floor and pick up Jeno’s list, on its yellow Post-it. You read what is written on it. 

You sink slowly to the floor. You feel like a horrible person. You wish you had never been born. You finally found a good guy, and you stamped on his heart like it was nothing. 

List of things wrong with Y/n:

Nothing 

You’re perfect 

---

You are crouched outside the bathroom door. Jeno has been in there for an hour. 

“Jeno, honey, please talk to me,” you say. 

“Get out!” Jeno yells. 

“You didn’t read the end of the list!” you say. “It says – none of this matters, because you’re the kindest, most passionate, most caring man I’ve ever met.”

You hear the lock clicking, and jump to your feet. 

Jeno opens the door, just a crack. “You don’t get it, do you?” His stare is ice-cold. “All my life, I was told that I wasn’t tough enough, brave enough, man enough. Until I met you, and you told me I was enough.” He shakes his head. “But you were lying.”  

He closes the door in your face. Through the door, you hear him say, “You know what hurts? The fact that I truly thought you were perfect. I was wrong. You’re mean, Y/n.”  

---

For the next two weeks, you spend every day reminding Jeno all the reasons that you love him - but he still gives you the silent treatment. 

One day, when you and Jeno are eating dinner in silence, Jeno slapped a piece of paper onto the table.

“What is that?” you say. 

“It’s my list.” Jeno says. “For you.” He picks it up and reads aloud. “Wears too much makeup. Judgemental. Mean. Can never take responsibility in arguments…”

Each word feels like a slap in the face. You thought that Jeno was too sweet to notice any of that stuff, but you were wrong. 

You clasp his hand, as tears start to fall. “I’m sorry, Jeno. I’m gonna treat you better, I promise.”

Jeno frowns. “Wait. You’re not… mad?”

You shake your head. 

Jeno’s eyebrows rise. “You’re not gonna deny it? Or fight back?”

You shake your head. “No. These past few weeks, I’ve realised that I – I don’t like looking at who I really am. Because who I am is… ugly. But I’m gonna change.”

Jeno clasps both your hands in his. “Oh, Y/n.” 

He comes round the table and pulls you into a tight, warm hug. You have been craving his touch for so long that that hug restores you to life. 

“I love you, you stupid idiot,” Jeno says. 

“I love you, too,” you squeak.

“Now who’s the crybaby?” Jeno says, chuckling. 

You laugh through your tears. “Shut up.” 

Jeno’s smile is warm, all signs of anger completely gone. But you have a niggling feeling you can't quite shake. 

“Do you really think I wear too much make up?” you ask, too embarrassed to meet his gaze. 

Jeno scratches his head. “Maybe… I dunno, I think I was just lashing out.” 

You stay silent. 

“Y/n, I think you’re gorgeous, inside and out. Smoking hot. Ten out of ten. Definitely would bang.” 

You snort. 

Jeno smiles, eyes crinkling. “I’m sorry, baby. I hate it when we fight.” 

You bury your head in Jeno’s neck, touching your lips against his soft skin. You can feel his soft sighs against your ear. Heaven. 

—

MAIN MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

[justalildumpling]

⇢ twin flame

synopsis: chenle was convinced that his two introverted friends were destined for each other so what does he do? bribe them to text each other of course ⎯ or alternatively, when jeno started to fall for an anonymous mutual friend of chenle's

pairing: jeno x fem!reader genre: social media au, strangers to lovers, college au, FLUFF, crack warnings: swearing, jokes about death, sexual innuendos, lowkey presence of a stalker, mentions of alcohol status: completed started: 6th August 2023 ended: 18th January 2024 update schedule: twice a week taglist: closed🤍!!

note: bye- this was meant to be a oneshot smau but turned into a mini series💀 this is the result of a jeno brainrot :((( i want to smother him in forehead kisses man :(

profiles 1/2: 6 baddies 1 child profiles 2/2: certified freak (7 days a week) chapter 1: introverted cat parents chapter 2: im *TECHNICALLY* not flirting😙 chapter 3: the simp and the beast tamer chapter 4: love presented through violence🥰 chapter 5: *AHEM soulmate😚 chapter 6: jealousy, jealousy chapter 7: balls deep in ice🥶 chapter 8: stay toxic besties chapter 9: eggs in my basket chapter 10: closeted SIMP🚨 chapter 11: “LJSHPTSD”😭💀🚨 chapter 12: let loose🤭 chapter 13: plan b😁 chapter 14: is jeno okay? (no, he’s rlly not💀) chapter 15: confession time🤨🤨 chapter 16: life is like a box of chocolates chapter 17: waiting for you chapter 18: 💥🍒👈 ?????? chapter 19: duck, DUCK, goose? chapter 20: was it really over? chapter 21: careful buddy🥰 chapter 22: lying, skill level 💯 chapter 23: dog with separation anxiety… chapter 24: to slay or to be slayed💀 chapter 25: stop it. get some help👍👍 chapter 26: my soulmate chapter 27: love island🔥 (finale)

bonus ! ⎯ the audio file

click here for : jaemin's spinoff

[yutaholic]

the show must go on (M)

PAIRING: Haechan (NCT) + reader (female)

SUMMARY: Your best friend, your ride or die, Haechan has never once left your side, but all good things must come to an end.

WARNINGS: strong language; brief mentions of alcohol and drug abuse; explicit sexual content

NOTES: 7.9k words; this is part three of a rose and her thorns, but can be read as a standalone one-shot

Seattle, 1991

We met in detention. Eighth grade. Not to be cliché, but I knew Lee Haechan was trouble when he walked in.

Takes one to know one.

What I didn’t know was the role he would come to play in my life. I doubt many people meet their soulmate in middle school. I was pretty lucky in that.

The two of us practically lived in detention that entire year. Ninth grade was a little better; we just hung out behind the school instead of inside it. A silly pair of dumb kids wearing matching leather jackets and passing a cigarette back and forth, coughing up smoke and thinking it made us cool.

We thought we had it all figured out. But only Haechan turned out to be right.

He was the one that started the band. Haechan threw us all together and made music out of our chaos and trauma. He was the glue and without him, we would fall apart.

You clambered quietly into the passenger seat and whispered, “They’re asleep.”

Haechan was behind the wheel, but the van was parked on a grassy knoll just off the main highway. “Finally, some fucking peace and quiet,” he mumbled, sitting in a cloud of smoke that poured from his lips. The thick scent of marijuana filled the van from stem to stern.

You followed your best friend’s gaze. His eyes were firmly planted out the window at the black curtain of nightfall painted with billions of little lights. “The sky looks so pretty,” you said in awe.

“I know. It’s crazy seeing stars this bright.”

There was a tiny lull of silence. You were thinking. It wasn’t often you got to be alone with Haechan lately and it was making you crazy - not getting to confide in your best friend.

“I let Mark raw me,” you blurted out.

Haechan snorted. “I heard, but clearly your birth control did its job.”

“I snorted cocaine with Jeno… and fucked him in a dressing room.”

Your best friend looked at you, arching a brow. “So?” Doing crazy shit with Jeno wasn’t new, to be fair.

“What the hell am I doing?”

“What you do best - loving everyone except yourself.”

You frowned. Nail hitting the head every time, but you quickly realized you didn’t want to hear it. “Don’t do that,” you said in a small voice.

Haechan smirked and put the joint to his lips, taking another long drag. “You know me better than to think I’m going to be your conscience and scold you,” he said a moment later. “It makes sense you’re trying to get in as many rounds of fun before the summer ends.”

The summer was winding down. August was half over.

I didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t. Because I knew in my heart when we went home, we would go our separate ways. Forever.

There would be nothing holding us together anymore.

“Haechan?”

“Yes, my love?”

You fought back tears as you asked, “What are we going to do when it’s all over?”

Haechan slapped on a playful grin for your sake and said, “We’re going to get scouted at a concert and get a huge record deal and I’ll eat you out over a bed of hundred dollar bills.”

You snorted. “God, that would be a dream.” You quickly sobered. “What’s the reality?”

Your best friend’s grin melted away and his voice turned to frost. “Go home. Find a minimum wage job. And try not to turn into raging alcoholics like our parents.”

“I thought so,” you sighed, hanging your head.

Haechan reached over and rubbed your arm. “Save the major depressive episode for back home. Let’s just enjoy these last few days.”

“I don’t want to give up,” you said, meeting his eyes again. The fire inside you lit itself with resolve. No matter how small it was. “I want something more for us in life.”

“I know you do, baby,” Haechan crooned, touching your cheek affectionately. “But some things are just out of our control.”

You blinked with the urge to cry. You couldn’t fight it anymore. Regardless of his gentle tone, Haechan’s words sounded final. You slipped out of the seat and to the floor to lay your head on Haechan’s thigh, closing your eyes as he stroked your hair.

After a moment, Haechan whispered, “I’ll never forget you for as long as I live. No matter what happens. I hope you know that.”

The tears slipped down your face as you smiled and said, “I love you too.”

Haechan’s lips twitched. He wanted so badly to not let it bother him, but he couldn’t. He knew damn well when the summer ended and the band came up empty, there would be a permanent wedge of broken hearts and crushed dreams between you.

So, so lonely. That was Haechan’s biggest fear. Losing his best friends would destroy him beyond repair. He would go through life jaded and bitter, like his parents.

Maybe it really was unavoidable. Fighting fate sounded great in songs, but reality wasn’t kind. He knew that better than anyone.

The next morning, you woke in the bed with Jeno’s arm tucked around your waist, his body molded to yours keeping you warm. There was no telling which boy scooped you off the floor and put you in bed, but your money was on Mark. He was having a hard time looking at you and Haechan was mysteriously quiet.

But you knew why.

Tension had settled over the van, the worst of the worst. After the show in Seattle, there were no more gigs to be played. Now, the long drive home would begin, shadowed by defeat and failure.

You resorted to doing what you always did; trying to alleviate the pressure and raise everyone’s spirits. Once the boys were up and actually keeping their eyes open, you had Jeno drive to the nearby state park.

As he did, you drifted between them. They were like strangers, devoid of energy and hope. Mark hadn’t touched his guitar since the final gig. The gentle strumming of his acoustic and the beauty of his softly whispered singing didn’t fill the van anymore, to your dismay.

Haechan curled up in the bed and didn’t say a word. Jeno drove silently, smoking one cigarette after another and blowing the smoke out the window. You started with him, running your hand over his shoulder as he held the wheel. Jeno glanced at you briefly, offering a weak smile that even he couldn’t keep. You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his temple.

You went to Mark next and curled up next to him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly. Mark was a little surprised, seeing as how the two of you had been working hard to keep your hands off each other, but was over the moon to have you in his arms again. He kissed the top of your head and ran his hands up and down your back.

“Won’t you play a little something?” you asked gently.

Mark shook his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, closing your eyes to fight the tears.

Finally, you went to Haechan and sat on the mattress next to him. He just looked at you, his stare vacant and blank. You brushed his long hair from his face and leaned in to trace a few kisses from his cheek to the corner of his mouth, just to see if you could spark a reaction.

Haechan pushed you ever so slightly and said, “That’s not going to work this time.”

You frowned. And gave up. The three were inconsolable and it broke your heart.

Sidling over to the cabinet, you found your notebook and began flipping pages, going to where you’d left off. Your brows stitched when you didn’t find it and that was when you noticed the torn remains of paper in the metal spiral.

“Okay. Which one of you ripped the page out?”

Mark met your eyes and said, “Don’t look at me.”

You called, “Jeno?”

“You know I wouldn’t touch your shit,” he replied calmly.

Leaving you to turn to Haechan, his eyes closed. “Haechan?”

“I don’t give a fuck about your memoir,” he said, hissing your name.

That made you flinch. You understood his anger, but not the vitriol toward your story. Your eyes fell to the notebook and the missing page, and your hands began to shake.

You threw the notebook at the cabinet and it landed in a pitiful heap. Tensing with frustration, you bent your legs, wrapped your arms around your knees, and hid your face, crying as quietly as you could.

Mark moved slowly, grazing against you to pick up the notebook and tuck it back into its place neatly, but he didn’t have the courage to comfort you. Too scared he would make it worse.

It was Haechan that slipped to the floor and enveloped you in his arms, cradling your head to his chest and dabbing at your cheeks with his sleeve.

When Jeno pulled into the park, you breathed in relief. The van was too stifling, suffocating you in all its misery. You hopped out of the van without a word and started marching for the scenic overlook advertised on a giant sign like you couldn’t get away fast enough.

One-by-one, your bandmates whined and huffed, but inevitably followed. They could wallow in their own disappointment, but they couldn’t stand seeing it hit you.

That’s how the four of you came to sit at a lone picnic table, silently staring at the Pacific Ocean, watching the waves ebb and flow in all its unwavering glory.

The tears had dried on your face. Breathing in the sweet, salty air grounded you again, clearing your lungs and your head.

You were the one to finally break the silence. “I need to come clean about something.”

“Go ahead,” Jeno replied, yawning as he still struggled to shake off sleep.

Wringing your hands in your lap, you began, “I’ve been mailing pieces of the memoir to Cassie.”

“That explains the trips to the post office,” Mark said offhandedly. You couldn’t tell if he was trying to be glib or not.

“And?” Jeno pressed.

You took a breath. “She submitted it to a publisher for their… consideration, I guess it’s called.”

Well, that woke everyone up.

“Are you serious?” Haechan asked, his eyes wide.

“Yeah?” You were befuddled by the reaction, glancing around at them. All three of your boys were sporting similar looks of shock. “You knew I was writing a memoir.”

“We knew you were scribbling in a notebook to toss in a bin and find it again twenty years later and laugh at all the dumb shit we did…” Haechan’s tone of disdain was not lost on you.

Jeno’s gawking increased. “Babe, are you insane?”

You felt small on that picnic table between them, utterly confused, and snapped, “No. I’m trying to get us out of this hell!”

Grimacing, Mark asked pointedly, “You wrote about all the very illegal shit you’ve been doing?”

Oh. That’s why they were freaked out. Underage drinking. Marijuana. Cocaine. All very punishable offenses. You shrugged and plastered on your cutest, most innocent smile. “A little?”

“Fuck,” Jeno swore, sliding off the bench to his feet and running a hand through his hair.

Haechan shook his head and chuckled. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

You rubbed your arms awkwardly.

I was so determined to make it work. It was tunnel vision, so intense I could see nothing else.

“What did the publisher say?” Mark asked, touching your shoulder in comfort. The awkwardness was killing him too.

“I don’t know,” you said, leaning into him a little, desperate for warmth. “I call Cassie at every stop to check on the dogs and she promised to update me on any replies from the publisher.”

Jeno looked to Haechan. “Can they report us to the cops?”

Haechan waved him away, looking more amused the longer he thought about it. “No. She can just say it’s all fiction. Very embellished fiction.”

Mark bobbed his head. “Good thinking.”

You almost laughed. Haechan could lie his way out of almost anything. In this case, it would be in your favor. You glanced around at your boys again. “So…, is everyone mad at me or are we good?”

“We’re good,” Haechan said, patting your head. “For now.”

“Fuck.” Mark sounded exhausted. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know if I could handle losing our music career, but being notorious in a fucking book.”

It was your turn to comfort him, running your hand across his shoulders, feeling the tense muscles under your fingers.

Jeno kicked at a pinecone, watching it skitter across the rocks. “We’d be the fucking losers just known for banging bitches at every stop,” he sneered. Then, the drummer had a thought and raised his brows. “Actually, whatever gets us paid, I don’t really care.”

“Yeah, how does that work?” Mark asked curiously. “You technically wrote the book, but it’s about all of us.”

You made a face. “It’s our story. Of course I’d split everything fairly with you guys.”

Haechan smiled at you ever so faintly.

“I can’t believe our story’s almost over,” Jeno mumbled bitterly.

You perked up. This was as good a time as any. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“What do you mean?”

You got up and spun on your heels, so you could face them all at once. “I was thinking…,” you said, shifting your weight. “We could get a place together and we’d work odd jobs to pay the bills, but we would play gigs here and there. Whatever we could get.”

Jeno simpered. You weren’t clinging to the band. You just didn’t want to let go of them.

“We’d be scraping by a living forever,” Mark pointed out.

“But we’d be doing what we love,” you argued.

“Try loving something that never loves you back,” Haechan said harshly. “You become bitter and miserable. Just like my parents. And yours.”

You scanned their faces. Each had the tiniest bit of hope in their eyes, but their expressions were firmly rooted in defeat. “You guys just want to go home after everything we did this summer and…,” you trailed, a tremble creeping into your voice. “Pretend like it never happened?”

Jeno softened. “Of course it happened. We’ll always look back and remember this as the best days of our lives.” He talked to you like he was soothing a fussy baby. “But best days don’t last. That’s why you look back on them.”

Your eyes burned. More tears would come any moment now and you weren’t ashamed of them. “I just don’t understand why you’re all giving up. Why am I the only one trying to keep us together?”

“Because you’re the dreamer,” Mark sighed.

Haechan snapped, “Stop being so gentle with her,” and Jeno was quick to warn, “Don’t be a dick.”

Your best friend jumped down from the picnic table and approached you. You knew by his tone and his gait that he was about to dress you down and you readied yourself for the blow.

“This is how it’s going to go,” Haechan started, pointing at the guitarist. “Mark’s parents will blow their entire retirement savings to send him to a good college to recover their reputation. And they will never let him date someone like you.”

You flinched.

“Fuck you,” Mark hissed, every muscle in his body tensing for a fight.

Haechan continued, “Jeno won’t be able to hold down a job. He’ll be a regular customer in rehab, then jail.”

Jeno held up his middle finger. “Go to hell.”

Haechan set his eyes on you and a chill ran down your spine. “And you,” Haechan said through clenched jaws. “You’ll meet some guy you can barely stand, but he’ll keep a nice roof over your head. He’ll put a couple babies in you after some miserable missionary and your entire personality will center around the screaming kids you never wanted. Just like your mom.”

Your blood turned to ice in your veins. Planting both hands on Haechan’s chest, you shoved him back and screamed, “You son of a bitch, I hate you!”

Jeno was suddenly caught in a very precarious position. As you stomped off, his first instinct was to go after you, but in the next second, Mark was off the table and charging toward Haechan. So, Jeno had to decide whose life was in the most imminent danger.

And he correctly chose Haechan.

Mark grabbed Haechan by the collar with both hands and crowded into his face. “I’m gonna fuck you up,” he roared, but Haechan didn’t fight back.

He was numb. His face was blank, his eyes cold.

Jeno did his best to wedge himself between them, but he was too defeated. All the thunder was gone from him. “Why did you do that to her?” he asked sadly.

“She has to let go of us,” Haechan replied, looking from Jeno to Mark. “Make her hate you. It’s the only way.”

Mark shook his head in dissent, clenching his fists even tighter in Haechan’s shirt.

You put plenty of distance between yourself and the boys, and the moment you found a solitary bench between trees, you collapsed onto it, buried your face in your hands, and wept.

We have no secrets, Haechan and I. He knows the darkest depths of my soul, and I know his.

I never thought he’d use that as a weapon, but I should have known.

He was the only one that dreamed bigger and harder than me. With it all ending, his heart was dying and pain makes us do horrible things. Especially to the ones we love most.

Because he knew I would still love him anyway. No matter how much he broke me.

Time lost all meaning as you cried on that bench. It wasn’t just Haechan’s words that crushed you, it was the cruel reality of life. You didn’t want to live without your boys. The four of you were too interwoven and connected. Being parted from them would be like tearing at the fabric of who you were.

You were expected to walk around with a gaping hole in your chest forever?

Sure. Most people did. It would account for all the hate and anger in the world.

“My love?”

You lifted your head at the sound of his voice, roughly wiped your wet cheeks, and growled, “Go away, Haechan. I swear to god, I will slap the shit out of you.”

Haechan dragged his feet over to you and said, “Go ahead. I deserve it.”

You refused to look at him as he sat beside you. Your eyes focused on the ocean.

We had the same biggest fear. Becoming our parents. As time went on, the more it seemed inevitable. A cycle that couldn’t be broken. We were fools to think we could be different.

That’s what I was hanging onto. I had to avoid that fate at all costs. Part of me thought that as long as I had my boys, they could save me from it.

“How could you say my worst nightmare so casually like that?” You were still shaking.

Haechan hung his head. “I was trying to hurt you.”

You scoffed, deadpanning, “At least you’re honest.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, like all the air was sapped from his lungs. When you didn’t respond, Haechan said, “Look at me. Please.”

“No.”

Your best friend sighed loudly and slouched into the bench, resting his head on the back. The two of you sat there for what felt like hours, watching the world pass you by.

“You’ll prove me wrong,” Haechan said tenderly. “You will be the one that breaks the cycle. The rest of us will just watch.”

Still, you said nothing. You hated him.

Because Haechan always ended up being right. It was a gift and a curse.

Mark and Jeno came looking. The latter was the only one brave enough to approach you, holding out his hand without a word. You peered up at him and let your hand slip into his, and Jeno led you away.

Haechan blinked and the tears escaped. He held them back until you left, refusing to cry in front of you. Keeping his hands in his lap, Haechan didn’t bother to dry his cheeks.

Mark blew out a pained breath. “What do we do?”

“You know what you have to do,” Haechan said, cutting his eyes at Mark. “If you don’t stand up to your parents, they’ll make you give her up.”

“I won’t,” Mark started.

“They will wear you down. You know they will. She’s not who they have in mind for their perfect boy. They hate her.”

Mark nodded.

“If you grow a spine, the two of you can at least live happily ever after,” Haechan joked, but there was a bitter edge to his voice.

“What about you and Jeno?”

Haechan stood. “It is what it is.”

The cloud in the van darkened. Jeno and Mark were miserable, and predictably stoic about it. Neither knew what to do with you. As it turned out, you were the rock, not Jeno.

Curled up in the bed with your back to them, you closed your eyes, but had no intention of sleeping. You would just lay there and wait for something to break or change. You’d done the heavy lifting so far. Now it was their turn.

Haechan couldn’t take the silence anymore. He trudged out of the van and slammed the door behind him.

You didn’t bat an eye. At this point, you didn’t have the energy to ask or care.

That wasn’t true. I always cared. Nothing could ever make me stop caring. We are all cursed and that was mine.

When the doors wheeled open, Haechan was sweaty and disheveled. You wondered how much time had passed as he sat on the mattress beside you. “Come with me,” your best friend said, holding out his hand.

You smarted, “Or what?”

“Or I’ll drag you.”

You looked over your shoulder and gave him an obstinate glare, but your curiosity was piqued. The hell had he been doing that got him so shiny with sweat? It didn’t take him that long to jerk off.

A defeated sigh left your lips. He was still your best friend, even if you hated his guts at the moment.

After batting his hand away, you got up and followed Haechan outside, rolling your eyes at the looks Mark and Jeno were sporting.

Gravel crunched beneath your shoes as Haechan led you into the trees, not too far from the van. When you saw what he was bringing you to, you couldn’t help but smile a little.

A camping tent was set up; the one Haechan had insisted on strapping on top of the van in case he found a nice spot. And it seemed he found one.

This was a habit of ours. When the yelling at my house got to be too much, when I couldn’t block it with my locked door or the blankets over my head, I would sneak out the window.

My parents didn’t notice. Hard to notice if you don’t care. Haechan would always be waiting to run off with me to the park. There were safe, secluded areas to set the tent up without fear of being interrupted.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten laid in that pathetic little tent. I’d probably mourn the damn thing when it finally fell apart.

Just as I mourned my relationships.

“How about a night not sleeping in the van?” Haechan asked, unzipping the front flap and holding it open for you.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” you barked, narrowing your eyes at him and crawling inside.

Haechan bit his tongue. Any witty remarks would not be appreciated at the moment.

But given Haechan was allergic to quiet, he wasn’t going to keep enabling your cold shoulder for much longer. Watching you lay on your back and make yourself comfortable over the sleeping bags, Haechan sidled up next to you as close as humanly possible.

“I’m still mad,” you huffed.

“I know.”

Well, with that out of the way, you relaxed. He knew you were upset. Now the groveling could begin.

Haechan rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand, staring at you and how intensely you were ignoring him. He reached over and stroked your cheek tenderly, and said, “I love you. It’s gonna hurt so much when you leave me.”

You closed your eyes, your heart clenching in your chest. “Then why are you trying to make me leave?”

“To give myself some control over the pain. Maybe.”

You turned your head and looked at him. His hair had grown longer over the summer, its natural jet black. It was cute; falling into his eyes, hiding them behind fluffy strands. You brushed some back with your fingertips so he couldn’t hide. Then you reached for his hand and laced your fingers through his.

Haechan smiled softly.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you told him. “You’re my best friend. I’ll be next to you in a nursing home.”

“Will you still kiss me if I have no teeth?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Heck yes. That would be hilarious.”

Both of you laughed at the sudden mental image of you and Haechan as two little old people sucking each other’s faces.

The rest of the world melted away. Your summer wasn’t coming to an end. It was just another night spent from home inside Haechan’s tent. If you didn’t think too hard, you could convince yourself nothing had changed.

Nothing was over.

You talked for ages, about everything. Like always. The light beyond the tent died and everything went dark, prompting Haechan to light a familiar lantern beside the sleeping bags. Soon, the ambience shifted from birds chirping to crickets singing.

When the atmosphere changed, so did the gravity inside the tent.

He was good at talking you away from the edge. Haechan made you laugh hard enough you forgot your anger and sadness, and he started stealing kisses between words. His hand occasionally traced patterns on the bit of your exposed stomach until it slipped under your shirt and got comfortable palming your breast. That’s when you began initiating kisses and running your fingers through his hair.

Kissing overtook conversation. You were immune to all the pain when his lips were on yours and you wanted more, wanted to overdose on the feeling until your heart was made of stone.

Haechan was my family. He was the only home I’d ever known, the only person who loved me unconditionally like my parents were supposed to. Soul mates aren’t always romantic. Maybe they’re just the person that loves you despite everything.

There was a little hitch in his breath as Haechan deepened the kiss, his arms heavy around you. He needed it too, needed to feel loved again before it was all over.

Your lashes fluttered as Haechan settled on top of you, abandoning your lips to suck and nibble at your neck. Your hands were on his shoulders, having been pulling him to you impatiently. His leg wedged between your thighs, pressing against your sex.

Haechan tugged at your clothes, undressing you while he bruised the base of your neck with his lips and teeth. When you yanked off his clothes and finally felt his naked body against yours, you moaned into his mouth and tangled your fingers in his long hair.

It was so familiar and comforting. With Haechan, everything was okay. Nothing could hurt me here.

He seemed in no rush to touch you where you really wanted him to. Typical. Haechan always dragged things out and made it last. He knew you had all the time in the world and was in no hurry to plow through it. Pun intended.

Haechan sucked your nipple into his mouth and pinched the other with his fingers. You bit your lip and squirmed under him, feeling his hard cock against your thigh. You hooked your legs on his hips and flexed, bringing him flush against you for good measure.

You flipped your positions and Haechan let you, holding your waist as you rolled onto him, straddling his lap. He kissed you even deeper, running his hands up and down your back while you cradled his face and tried to snatch all the air from his lungs.

Haechan broke from the kiss to ask playfully, “Have you been writing about sex in the book?”

You were breathing heavily, flushed and dazed from his kisses. “Yeah,” you rasped, running your hand through your hair to get it out of your face.

Haechan tugged you back down and trailed kisses over your jaw before whispering in your ear, “I need to give you some new material.”

“As if you haven’t given me plenty already.”

“I have competition,” he retorted, brushing his hands to your breasts. “Jeno is a slut with a dragon dick. You have a fat crush on Mark and he railed the shit out of you.”

You snickered. “Who are you then?”

Haechan steered you up and shuffled down until his arms were around your thighs and his mouth was inches from your sex, and purred, “I’ll always be the one that gave you your first nut.”

Though you were about to laugh at that, the next sound out of your mouth was a whimper as Haechan tongued at your folds. You were mindful not to put too much of your weight on him, but his hands on your hips said otherwise, bringing you down to meet his lips.

The sight of his face buried in your pussy, between your thighs, was so arousing you felt your walls clench on nothing.

“Fuck.” You let your head fall back and closed your eyes. Reaching for his hands on your hips, you held on tight and joked breathlessly, “The book will give us more groupies than the band ever did.”

Haechan stopped sucking on your clit long enough to retort, “God, I hope so.”

An involuntary shudder shot through you when he latched back onto your bundle of nerves. You squeezed his hands even tighter, eyes winching closed. Another moan tumbled off your tongue. Haechan didn’t play when he was sucking you dry.

It was probably one of the few things in life he took seriously.

“Mm,” you hummed, trembling when his tongue swirled around your entrance before returning to your clit. “So good, baby.”

Haechan made a noise against your cunt. “You know, you only call me baby when I’m getting you off.”

“Do I?”

“I like it.”

“I like when you touch me,” you said in barely a whisper, biting your lip lest you go into juicy detail.

Haechan would have loved that.

You were so far gone already. Your hands found his hair, your hips bucking against his face. Little nothings mingled with your moans. Haechan kneaded your hips, but as you got closer, he reached up to grab and squeeze your breasts instead.

It felt so good you felt guilty that you weren’t touching him. Releasing his hair, you lilted back and wrapped your hand around his hard cock, feeling it twitch the moment your fingers made contact.

Haechan broke away from your pussy and scolded, “Don’t touch me.”

“Why not?”

“Only think about yourself right now. Be selfish. You’ve earned it.”

You swallowed and let Haechan guide your hands back into his hair, and he bit the inside of your thigh as a warning to do as he said. Your body tensed when he lapped at your clit again and you decided to obey. You would be selfish.

Haechan smirked when you arched away from him, propping yourself over him on your arms and riding his face. He reeled a hand back and slapped your ass, the best way he knew how to convey to you that you were giving him exactly what he wanted.

He lapped at the arousal between your folds, his tongue teasing your bundle of nerves again. Haechan knew that was your weak spot, where you were most sensitive. If he played his cards right, he could have you screaming for mercy from the overstimulation.

“Right there,” you panted, voice pitching higher. "I'm close."

For once in his life, Haechan said nothing. He ate you out like a man starved, suddenly grabbing your waist to keep you in place. He sucked on you until your legs shook and you whimpered his name.

And when orgasm hit, you went higher than where the cocaine took you. Your eyes rolled back in your head and your body shuddered, and you chanted, “Fuck,” like a mantra.

Haechan kept going until you pushed frantically at his head.

“Stop. Stop. Stop,” you begged, fisting his hair and finally earning yourself a reprieve.

Haechan chuckled, slipping his arms under your legs and tossing you to the side. You gladly rolled to your back, staring up at the ceiling of the tent, waiting to come back to your senses.

You felt his hand smoothing its way up your thigh before cupping your sex, feeling all the slick he’d gotten out of you and muttering, “Fuck,” under his breath. His fingers prodded into your pulsing pussy, hooking at your sweet spot, and you writhed, sensitive.

“Put a condom on,” you told him hurriedly, still trying to catch your breath.

As you came down from the high, Haechan crawled over to the other side of the tent and returned with a packet, tearing it open with his teeth. You watched him fit the condom on his hard cock and you spread your legs invitingly when he moved between your legs, grasping your knees and pushing them toward your chest, bending you in half.

You rested your hands on his hips and drew him toward you when he slipped his cock into your entrance and stroked in slow. “Mm, baby, you’re so good,” you mewled dramatically. “The biggest ever.”

Haechan, whose eyes had been on his cock sinking into your tight cunt, tossed his long hair out of his eyes and said, “Fuck you,” with a tiny snort.

You grinned and sank your fingers deeper into the flesh of his hips, tugging him toward you in tandem with his movements. He loved when you left scratches and bruises in his skin. A reminder of you he got to carry around with him for days after.

“Kiss me,” Haechan whispered, rocking into you harder.

Without missing a beat, you lifted your head to meet his lips, but his hands wrapped around your wrists and pinned them to the ground. A noise of frustration left you, because you couldn’t close the rest of the distance with him holding you down.

Nipping at your lips, he taunted, “What’s the matter?”

Rather than answer, you moaned as his cock bottomed out in you again. Your face tensed with pleasure, every thrust making your toes curl. You were still raw from orgasm and his cock hitting you right made a shudder race through you.

Haechan went still. When you peered up at him in confusion, he smirked and said, “Fuck me.”

You hooked your thighs higher up his hips and started grinding into him. Haechan looked down to watch you bouncing on his dick, sucking in a breath when your pace grew more hurried and desperate.

“Please move,” you whined, eyes closed. Sweat formed at your back with the effort, your body burning.

“You’re doing fine without me.”

“I’m never okay without you,” you said breathlessly, out of your mind with lust and emotions. The two were colliding.

Haechan draped over you, slipping his fingers into your hair, and fucked into you at a ruthless pace for that, making you slap a hand over your mouth to keep from crying out.

The last thing you wanted was his name echoing through the woods. You would never live it down.

“Oh god. Oh fuck.” You clawed at his back, trying to find purchase.

Haechan gathered you in his arms and you sat up face-to-face, straddling his lap. Haechan kissed at your neck, crushing you in his arms. You rode him, his hips matching your rhythm.

“Come for me,” Haechan purred in your ear, saying your name silkily. “Again.”

It wasn’t fair that he could snap his fingers and your body would answer. You were so close and had been together for so long, your skin knew his touch. Your heart gave in to his every desire and whim.

Ecstasy spilled over and a moan caught in your throat.

Haechan held you even tighter as you came, biting his lip as he felt you clamp down on his cock, holding his breath to stave off his own orgasm until you sighed his name and slumped against him.

You buried your face in his shoulder and whimpered as his thrusts turned ragged, his groans pitching higher until he released into the condom. You rubbed his back and kissed his neck while he came down, lowering you to the floor gently and landing at your side.

The two of you breathed heavily. Sex broke something in you both that you needed. It felt final.

Like it was the last time.

Haechan discarded the condom and crawled back to you, getting a blanket out from one of the sleeping bags to drape over your bodies. You nestled closer to him, ready to doze off in his arms. Haechan settled a hand on your thigh, the other behind his head. Your eyes fluttered closed as his chest rose and fell with his breaths.

“I’ll never stop fighting,” you whispered with resolve. “And you shouldn’t either.”

He said nothing, but pressed a kiss to your temple.

The next day, the van was on its way home. You sat in the passenger seat as Jeno drove, just as you had when summer - and the trip - started.

When Jeno parked at a rest area, you ventured inside to look for a payphone.

Haechan leaned back against the van, arms folded.

Mark wandered over to him, asking in a soft voice, “How is she?”

“Ask her yourself,” Haechan retorted.

Mark frowned. “You know her better than anyone.”

Haechan’s eyes darkened as he said, “You hurt her and I’ll kill you.”

Mark opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Jeno, who had been hovering close by, smirked at the exchange and murmured, “Says the one person actually capable of hurting her.”

Haechan shot him a glare. “She loves Mark more than she ever loved us,” he started.

Jeno was quick to cut him off, “You know damn well that’s not true.”

“Maybe she’s right about us,” Mark spoke up, glancing between them. “Maybe we should stay together and try to make it work.”

Haechan let his head fall back and groaned. “Pussy power strikes again.”

“Are you done?” Mark snapped. “You are the biggest hypocrite, you know. You’re hoping and praying she’s right. That she makes something happen. You’re trying so hard to look like you don’t care, but you don’t want to lose us.”

Tears filled Haechan’s eyes. His lips pursed.

Jeno cocked his head. “We know that, Mark,” he crooned cutely. “Our Donghyuck cares the most. That’s why he tries so hard to hide it.”

Haechan quickly wiped his cheeks. The tears had escaped too fast. After a pause, getting himself together, Haechan said, “I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t mean it.”

“We know that too.” Jeno reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

The two looked at Mark expectantly. His anger faded and he huffed a sigh.

Your voice broke the moment. “Guys!”

“What?” Jeno barked, turning to see you racing across the parking lot toward them.

You could hardly breathe, panting like you’d run a marathon. “They want to publish the book!”

All three of them gaped in perfect sync.

“Are you fucking serious?” Haechan wheezed.

“Yeah,” you said in disbelief, chuckling to yourself. “They want me to keep sending in chapters and they’ll assign me an editor to help organize everything. And then I’ll have to fill in the gaps, but… it’s gonna be a book. An actual book!”

In the next second, you were the meat in a boy sandwich and you couldn't have been happier about it.

Once everything calmed down, Mark shook his head and exclaimed, “This is insane!”

Haechan took your face in his hands and planted a big kiss on your lips with a loud, “Mwah!” Which made Jeno whine, “I was gonna kiss her and I can’t now!”

“I’ll kiss you too,” Haechan taunted, wagging his tongue and reaching for Jeno, making the drummer turn on his heels and run for his life.

You giggled as Haechan chased after him and Mark took the opportunity to wrap you in his arms and bury his face in your neck, enveloping you in a hug. You held him tightly and closed your eyes, breathing him in.

“You did it,” Mark whispered, saying your name in reverence. “You made this summer count for something.”

Tears pricked your eyes.

Haechan and Jeno traipsed back over, pushing and shoving each other with big grins on their faces.

With the celebration winding down, you looked at your boys one-by-one and said, “There’s a couple of conditions.”

Jeno grumbled. Haechan arched a brow.

“I won’t write the last chapters and send them in until you get clean,” you said, pointing at Jeno.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on.”

“I’m serious.” You planted your feet and stared him down. “You think I’m going to risk this book being a hit and us getting a huge payday just for you to blow it all on blow?”

Jeno sulked.

“It’s a fair condition,” Haechan said lightly.

“I know it is!”

You waited patiently.

“I’m not an addict,” Jeno insisted. “I am a casual user.”

“Then you can casually stop,” you smarted.

He made a face. After a tiny lull, Jeno handed you the bag from his back pocket and you didn’t hesitate to cram it into your own. Its next destination was the nearest toilet.

You turned to Mark. “There’s a condition for you too.”

Mark grimaced nervously. “I’m listening.”

“You have to do what you want with your own life. Not what your parents want.”

Mark visibly relaxed. His eyes went soft. Something happy and content washed over him. “But I don’t know what I want.”

You shrugged. “You have time to figure it out. Change your mind as many times as it takes until you find what makes you happy.”

“Okay,” said Mark, smiling.

Finally, you turned to Haechan. “And you.”

He tilted his head and puckered up his lips.

“You’re not your father, Haechan.”

“You sure? I was pretty quick to cut you down.”

You scoffed. “Last I checked, I’m still standing. Bitch.”

Haechan chuckled.

“She’s right,” Jeno said, draping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to press a kiss to your cheek. “We shouldn’t give up on the band already.”

“The book could make some people check us out,” Mark added, optimistic again.

All eyes were on Haechan. He smiled bashfully and said, “And if it doesn’t - if it all fails - at least we’ll know we tried.”

“No regrets,” you finished with a nod.

Haechan suddenly reached into his pocket and handed you a balled-up page.

The missing chapter of your memoir.

You gaped when you realized what it was. “I should have known you took it.”

“I couldn’t handle someone talking so highly about me,” he said under his breath.

“Oh. Only you’re allowed to speak highly of yourself?”

Mark and Jeno laughed.

Haechan did too. Then he sobered and tucked some of your hair behind your ear. “Thank you for believing in me.”

You gave him a puzzled look. “Haechan, you started the band. Don’t you remember?”

“No?”

“We met in detention in eighth grade,” you reminded him, to which Haechan bobbed his head. “You noticed Jeno drumming his hands. You said you saw Mark playing acoustic by himself during lunch. And you heard me singing under the bleachers when I skipped gym.”

“I forgot all that,” Haechan mumbled, his eyes twinkling like they shone with stars. “Damn, I really gotta quit drinking.”

Mark moved to your free side and said, “Yeah, dude. We’re all here because of you.”

Haechan looked at his three best friends, his family, smiling at him, and it almost broke him on the spot. He slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged.

Jeno laughed loudly. “I’ll be damned. All you’ve ever wanted is to be the center of attention and now that you’ve got it, you don’t know what the fuck to do.”

“Yep,” Haechan said with a sheepish grin.

You closed the distance and hugged him, patting the back of his head. “It ain’t over till it’s over,” you whispered for his ears alone and Haechan let go the breath he’d been holding, releasing all the tension and pain in his chest.

Once you parted, Mark reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze. You melted into his familiar arms and flushed when he said, “You are, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.”

“Stop it.”

“Okay.”

“Wait.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and lifted to your toes. “Maybe a little more.”

Mark smiled as his lips met yours in a chaste kiss that he poured his all into.

A kiss that was dramatically interrupted by Jeno, knocking into Mark enough to jostle you both. “It’s not your job to save us, you know,” he chided sweetly.

Yes, it was and it always would be. Because they saved me first.

“Hey, I’m just an instrument of the power of rock and roll,” you said, putting a hand on Jeno’s chest and giving him a playful shove.

“I take back every compliment I’ve ever said to you,” he joked, tickling your sides.

You laughed.

The four of you gabbed and teased each other for what felt like an eternity. The air was lighter. The sun a was a little brighter. Your boys were smiling again and you felt the pieces of your heart snapping back into place.

Hope is a powerful thing. A gentle promise that maybe - just maybe - we could all be happy and whole.

“We’re burning daylight,” Jeno eventually said.

You exclaimed, “Let’s hit the road,” and it was the first time you said it without dread.

Hopping into the van after you, Mark stuck his head out and called, “Don’t forget the trash.”

Jeno proceeded to scoop Haechan up in his burly arms and carried him to the van.

“Very funny,” Haechan deadpanned, but he couldn’t help but grin.

Smiling till your cheeks hurt, you got in the driver’s seat and fired up the engine, pulling out of the rest area and onto the highway, toward the new life awaiting you and your boys.

Everything would change for us. The drive home wasn’t some miserable journey we’d been fearing. It was the final chapter of our summer, but only the beginning of our story.

Copyright 2020-2024 © yutaholic (formerly zenyukhei) All rights reserved do not copy or translate without my permission!

[slightlymore]

death of peace of mind

train conductor haechan x fem reader

genre: magiccore/miyazaki/tim burton, broad industrial revolution/victorian setting, romance, soulmates au, enemies (?) to lovers, !!slow burn!!, angst, smut, multiperspective

warnings and content: +18, explicit sexual content, virgin reader, fingering, unprotected, nipple play, biting, some level of corruption, sexual tension, oral fem receiving, hand job, pet names (darling, love, baby, my girl, my lady) and titles (Sir, Miss), begging, praise, spanking, sexual tension, gentlemanly and lady-like behaviour etc etc

words: 19k

other characters: mark as reader's friend, jeno for a moment, johnny mentioned

synopsis: The Train. That's where your parents met a few years before you were born and that's where your grandparents met as well as their parents before that. Oh to be grown and travel on the Train as well, meeting your soulmate and falling so madly in love that you'd become consumed by it. And there you were years later, your only travel case in your hand and your best dress on, standing in the Train Station at exactly 1:05am on the 1st of May. You looked up and let the night sky calm you down and when you looked back in front of you, the train was there. What were you supposed to do now? But then one door opened, engulfing you with the freshest flowery scent. The most gorgeous man you've ever seen in your life descended and tilted his hat lifting one gloved hand to guide you inside. "Welcome aboard, Miss."

for the lovers of dream sorter haechan

__________

When the curtains call the time

Will we both go home alive?

It wasn't hard to realize

Love's the death of peace of mind

The Train.

That's where your parents met a few years before you were born and that's where your grandparents met as well as their parents before that.

The tales of those encounters enriched your childhood and your fragile dreams. Oh, to be grown and travel on the Train as well, meeting your soulmate and falling so madly in love that you'd become consumed by it.

You’ve always desired it. You’ve always longed for it. 

The teachers would get shiny eyes and beaming smiles on May 1st. You remembered the first time it happened. The air felt different and the town felt more alive than usual. 

"Today is a special day for all of us," your parents also smiled at the breakfast table. They looked almost shy and they exchanged gazes they would usually let themselves have in a more private moment. 

You were in your first year of elementary school but from what you could understand, that day sounded like a big deal for the adults and it started to be a big deal for you as well. 

"This is the day when people go on a Journey to find their soulmate," the teacher repeated what you've already heard at home. 

The Train, the children would whisper, the giddiness in their voices making you almost escape your skin with excitement. 

"Can we go and see it?" you asked with your heart in your throat from the emotion. You really wanted to see all the young adults go to the Train Station and embark. 

The teacher smiled as if that was the most common question asked. "Unfortunately, it's a very private moment. But when you're ready, you will finally see the Train and you will find the love of your life during the Journey." 

You were an only child so besides your parents' tale of how starstruck they both felt upon seeing each other on the Train, you had no other immediate example of how the experience would go. 

"My brother Johnny said the place they ended up in is way more gorgeous than our town," one of your classmates and your best friend said one time. "But not as gorgeous as his partner, he said,” making a throwing-up motion with his fingers. 

A choir of grossed out children made you giggle at the time and you joined them, but deep inside you knew that it was indeed possible to meet a person more gorgeous than the most gorgeous place on earth.

You wanted that. You desperately wanted that. 

Your parents also said their towns of origin weren't as beautiful as the one you were living in and although you could objectively see it was decently cute and cozy you were sure they felt that way because of the rosy love glasses. 

"Why do I have to leave this place when I find my soulmate?" you wondered one time as you were growing older and having more and more thoughts about the Journey. 

Your mom patted your head. "When you find the love of your life the Train stops and lets you both off. The couple has to live in the place they ended up in."

"What if I want to come home?" you argued.

"Your partner will be your home," your dad explained with a fond smile. "We will see each other often the way you see all of your grandparents. Don't worry about missing us."

"Also it is too soon for you to think so deeply about it," your mom chuckled, pulling at your cheek.

Yet, there you were years later, your only suitcase in your hand, which you bought for the occasion, and your best dress on, standing in the Train Station and feeling like the too soon came, well, too soon. 

Your mom helped you put on some makeup as well that day and you had to admit you were feeling pretty cute.

But oh so anxious.

You couldn’t believe you were about to initiate the Journey on the Train. Thoughts of how your soulmate looked like adorned your mind since you could remember but in the latest months you found yourself fantasizing about them more and more. 

But with the pretty thoughts, some thoughts of doom would send rocks to your mind as well feeding your anxiety even further.

The mixed emotions made you uneasy.

"What if there's no soulmate for me?" you looked yourself in the mirror as your mom finished her last touches on your hair. 

"Nonsense," she reassured you. 

"But has it happened before?" you insisted. 

She sighed. "Yes but it's very rare. What happens, in that case, is that you need to come back home and you need to go on the Journey the following year." 

"And are there people who went on for many years and they met no one?"

"Not as far as I know. Everyone met someone sooner or later. Your grandma met your grandpa after 3 years." 

You exhaled. Maybe you'd just go on a little train ride and come home before sunset.

Maybe you'll also need 3 years. 

Maybe no one would fall in love with you ever. 

You expected the Station to be full of people but it was completely empty.

"Don't worry about it. The Station doesn't let you see your friends until you're all on." 

You bit your lower lip and waited. There was no moon on the sky and the stars were very visible. 

You looked up and let the night sky calm you down and when you looked back in front of you, the Train was there. 

"Heavens," you swallowed the little surprising gasp and looked to your right then left feeling your breath accelerate. You didn’t hear it arrive. 

What were you supposed to do now? Was it supposed to feel this ominous? 

But then one door opened with a slow hiss, engulfing you with the freshest flowery scent. 

The most gorgeous man you've ever seen in your life descended and tilted his hat lifting one gloved hand to guide you inside.

"Welcome aboard, Miss." 

His hair was black and a bit longer in the back. Your father would have said it looked a bit messy; he’d probably offer some gel and suggested him to comb it backwards. But the man wore it so well that you found yourself thinking how it would feel like to pass your hand through it and mess it up even further. 

“Thank you,” you replied quietly. Then you cleared your throat and tried again. 

The man’s face was a polite mask, not one muscle of his perfect face twitching or moving. On the contrary, you felt your face in flames as you walked near him to enter the wagon. 

“Please, choose the coach you’re most attracted to,” you heard his voice behind you. The fresh flowery perfume followed you both and you realized it was his scent. Taking a few steps forward you found yourself shaking ever so slightly. 

“Who are you?” you turned around before having a chance to look down the dark but cosily illuminated wooden corridor of the train. 

His chest was so close that you could see the little silvery tag on it. Conductor. 

Then you took a step back not realizing how close he was. 

“I apologize for not having introduced myself earlier. I am the Conductor, Miss,” he simply replied. “I’ll be around the Train if you need me. Also, if you ring the bell you’ll find in every wagon."

His eyes were a dark shade of marine blue, you realized, like the ocean during a storm, when you can’t distinguish between the water and the sky.

Your grandpa told you many tales of his life at sea. He used to say it was the most beautiful and terrifying thing, and at the time you didn’t understand how something scary could be beautiful, but that man’s eyes made a shiver go down your spine yet you didn’t want him to stop looking at you. 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I'll leave you to get comfortable,” he tilted his hat again, making a shadow appear over his eyes, as if reading your mind and seeing your fascination with them. 

You gave him a little bow as well, as your mother has been teaching you it was polite to do when meeting gentlemen, then you stared at the way he turned around and took the opposite direction in the tight corridor. His shoulders almost touched the walls when he walked and his legs looked extremely long in his black uniform. 

The coach you chose was the first on your left, a luxurious dark brown space, with deep bordeaux seats which you realized were softer than any other material you’ve ever felt before. You placed your suitcase on the designated space and sat down, looking at the windows showing your town’s Train Station, then you inhaled and exhaled looking down at your dress and rubbing your lace-gloved hands together.

What were you supposed to do?

Would your soulmate come barging in your coach?

Would you meet over breakfast in the morning?

Why were you all supposed to go at exactly 1:05am? 

You suppressed a yawn wondering where you were expected to sleep, then with the corner of your eye you noticed the curtains slowly close and you gasped feeling the train depart at the same time. 

Your older cousins liked to joke about ghosts roaming around the Train but you thought you were grown already to believe such things. Yet, the movement felt uncanny and you were so on edge that you haven’t realized you were squished against one of the seats’ corners until a ding made you scream. 

On the little table a small card boarded with gold appeared out of thin air. 

“Dear Miss, you are invited for Breakfast in the Dining Car. Please turn the card around for the Train map. My warmest regards, the Conductor” 

You touched the paper with your fingertip as if it were a poisonous snake and the ink smudged a bit as if it has been freshly written. 

Breakfast? At 1am? Maybe he meant tomorrow morning? 

You turned the card around as instructed and the display for the train was illustrated. A little “you are here” red mark told you that your wagon was the one in the middle of the train.

You wondered how did the Conductor know you chose that specific coach when he left you just a few minutes prior and didn’t even check back.

The Dining car was towards the head of the train, the direction in which the Conductor walked, and the name Steam Locomotive adorned the first car. You wondered if he was in there or if his coach was one of the wagons close by. 

The train was moving swiftly so it wasn’t bothering you as you thought it would. The closed curtains made you sad that you couldn’t see the scenery so you got up and extended your hand towards them, trying to perhaps see the machinery through which they were able to close on their own.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice made you jump in place. 

“Mark!” you turned around and walked the few steps towards the door to hug a very dumbfounded young man. 

“Hey, hey, you okay?” he awkwardly stood there even after you retrieved your arms from his neck and stared him up and down. 

“I was so scared to be alone. It’s good to see your face,” you explained. 

Johnny’s younger brother has been your best friend and the one you spoke about the Train Journey the most growing up. You were still ashamed to remember the way you cried for the whole night the time Mark told you his brother hasn’t come home from the Journey because he has found his soulmate. You had a very intense childhood crush on him. 

“I get it,” he smiled then his eyes went down to eye your dress, then up, noticing your prettily arranged hair and makeup.

Then he sighed, almost disappointed. 

Without realizing you touched your cheek. Did he think you were ugly?

“What?” you blinked at him. 

Mark shook his head. “I just-,” he started then interrupted himself, a bright dust of red moving in towards his cheeks and ears. “I thought that maybe you could be- you know-sometimes it happens that even friends-” 

You blinked at him then you felt your own face on fire. “Oh,” you realized what he wanted to say. The scarf you tied around your neck made it difficult for you to breathe. 

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head. “I guess we’re not soulmates. That, of course, if you didn’t feel anything in particular either.” 

“I felt relief,” you said. 

Mark nodded, agreeing with you. “I was also just glad to see a friend.”

Was he disappointed you weren’t his soulmate? Or was he happy it wasn’t you?

“Same.” 

The following silence made him clear his voice once then his eyes fell on the card in your hands. 

“Oh, I got one too. I was wondering if it was a prank inviting me over for breakfast. I was going towards the Dining Car to at least check it out.” 

“Right? I thought I was the one misunderstanding the invite,” you chuckled. “I’ll come with you now if you don't mind.” 

Mark took a few steps back to let you exit the coach and his eyes fell on the window again. “My parents said that if you open the curtains when the train is moving you’ll be forced to descend in the first place you see. Alone. Without the possibility to return on the Train ever again.” 

A shiver ran down your body at his words. 

“There’s also a warning,” he indicated with his chin. 

You followed the direction and noticed the golden plate near the curtains. 

You could have sworn it wasn’t there before. 

_________

The corridor was gorgeously decorated with fresh flowers and paintings. You and Mark took your time to peek into most of the coaches too, giggling a bit when you noticed some of their residents weren’t alone. 

“How long do you think it takes for people to meet everyone on the train?” Mark asked, impressed that some were already coupled. 

You thought about it. “The train stops in every town, doesn’t it? There's so many people. I feel like even a few weeks." 

Mark winced. “That’s a long time. My parents met within 15 minutes of boarding. They had neighbouring coaches.” 

“My parents met after a few days,” you recalled. “My maternal grandparents met after three years of trying.” 

Your friend hummed. “That’s hard. I’d be losing hope.” 

You swallowed the dry lump. “That’s a bit scary, yes.”

You didn’t want to tell him that you were afraid you might end up just like them. 

The Entertainment wagons were about five, and you both held your breaths when entering the first as it was roaming with people. The strangers’ faces turned towards you both with inquisitive eyes, as if checking if one of you were their soulmate. 

You bit your lower lip taking a few steps inside. 

“What exactly do you think we need to feel when meeting the one?” you whispered as some people sighed and turned around, sign you weren’t interesting. 

“No clue. But it has to be something,” Mark answered. “Maybe a sharp feeling. Awe. Even fear?” 

“Fear? Why would I be afraid if I meet my soulmate?” you both walked slowly, staring at the board games people were playing. 

Mark hummed. “Not actual fear. More so like the fear you get right before sliding down with a sleigh. It’s scary but you know it will feel very nice.”

The example made you chuckle and it broke some of the tension you were feeling. Then his words actually arrived to your brain. 

Like the fear before sliding down with a sleigh…

…or the fear when you see a sea storm. 

You shook your head and exited the coach to enter the rest. 

_________

“I can’t believe there’s actual breakfast,” Mark repeated for the third time already, cheeks full with eggs and bacon. 

You giggled, impressed by your own appetite so late at night. Or early in the morning?

“The train has different time zones than your town of origin,” a voice explained. 

The scent came first and it froze you in place, the piece of banana you were about to devour still in mid-air. 

Mark lifted his gaze to the side and greeted the voice. 

“I hope everything is to your liking,” the Conductor added. When you put the banana down on your plate and looked up, he was already looking at you. His stormy eyes were slightly squeezed in an attempt to look polite. His uniform looked impeccable as usual and with his hands clasped behind his back his chest popped underneath it.

You forced yourself to look away. 

“Yes, thank you. The train is gorgeous,” you said. 

The Conductor smiled a bit more. “And I hope this is a congratulatory meal?” he asked, looking at Mark for a moment as well, who furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Oh,” you shook your hands, realizing what he meant. “No no, it’s not like that.”

“We’re just friends,” Mark butt in, a bit scandalized. 

You nodded fervently. “Classmates. From the same town.” 

“Yes. Our coaches are close-by and we just found each other.” 

The Conductor listened to one then the other, looking at both of you intermittently with his everlasting smile. “Well, then. I’m glad you enjoy each other’s company. I wish for you to find your soulmate when the time comes as well.” 

You and Mark both thanked him and watched the Conductor bow enough for his eyes to get the same shadow you saw the first time you met him.

But he lifted his gaze to look at you this time. Slowly, letting his long lashes fan on his cheeks for a moment.

The pupils were very deep and you imagined yourself drowning in the almost black blue of his irises. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and look at his back as he walked away to greet other passengers. 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to reach and grab the fork because your hands were tightly clasped together on your lap to hide how badly they were shaking. 

_________

On your way back Mark got welcomed by his male friend group in the third Entertainment wagon. Some of them had new faces around and from their shy gazes, you assumed they met their partners already. Some were alone and in the mood to party. 

Mark invited you to stay but you decided to go back to your coach and have some rest.

You wished to be able to party like Mark did. In the end, for him that was also a well deserved holiday after spending most of his days helping his father with the lands. Many thought the same and not everyone wanted to go on the Journey to meet an actual soulmate. For a lot of people it was a nice break from studying or work and that was it. 

But you felt uneasy to be that free-spirited, and you needed time alone to understand what was going on. After all, you’ve been day dreaming about the Journey and the Train your whole life. And now that the desired moment arrived there was something off about it all.

And you couldn’t point it out. 

You’ve never felt more relieved to enter your coach and see a fluffy small bed in one of the seats’ places. You sat on it and you also found it very comfortable. How it got there you had no idea and by that time you decided to stop asking yourself questions on how that Train actually worked. 

The spring dress you chose for yourself was easy to slip into but quite hard to undo, you realized, grunting a few times as you tried to untie the light corset. When you managed to open it you exhaled deeply and you let it fall to your feet. 

Then your eyes darted towards the warning sign near the window as you slowly got under the covers.

Curiosity killed the cat but you really wanted to know what was behind those curtains and why you weren’t allowed to know. 

Before you could realize that you didn’t brush your teeth or wash your face, the train stopped and you opened your eyes in the silence. 

“Thank you for traveling with us. I wish you happiness,” the Conductor’s voice was muffled outside your window and you remembered your coach was the first near the main train entrance. 

Did someone already get off as a couple? Or was that someone who looked outside and was now forced to live alone?

You walked slowly and stealthy and you were about to turn the corner to where the entrance you came in was when the voices stopped you in place.

They were many, perhaps six different ones, thanking the Conductor and chatting away, making already plans for the future. Imagining you in their place gave you anxiety - after all they all met a few hours ago and already thought of getting married - but you were also glad they were all soulmate couples and not any forsaken person who went against the rules.

Somehow, you also felt a but envious that it has been that quick and smooth for them. 

The Conductor’s back was towards you and you looked at his long fingers behind his back as he greeted the people away. His white gloves covered them and for some reason you wondered how they looked like naked. His waist was visibly smaller than his shoulders and the spine line descended so beautifully that you felt the urge to draw him, although you were no artist. 

You shook your head trying to get rid of thouse thoughts and realized that in the meantime the chatter died down as the passengers walked towards the Station.

The Conductor was still outside, probably seeing them away for good before departing, and his scent was slowly engulfing you the more you remained in his presence.

You swallowed. How could a man smell that good? 

Then you realized you had a full-on view of the Station so you squatted down behind the corner and tried to make sense of what was outside. That was your only chance, you figured.

“You know that’s forbidden, right?” the man’s smooth voice made you jolt.

The Conductor was still standing stoically without looking back and you let your gaze fall around as to understand who he was addressing, because he definitely couldn’t have seen you. 

“Yes. I’m talking to you, Miss,” he turned around enough for you to see his relaxed expression.

You could see only half of his face and the only visible eyebrow was lifted in a way that made his gaze look- well, sexy, you realized with a certain degree of embarrassment.

You got up and took a step forwards. “Well, I am not looking out through a window, so it is not technically forbidden. There’s not a sign near the entrance telling me I can't do this.” 

The Conductor turned around fully. His lazy gaze rested on your face then slowly went down your body and stopped on your nude feet. His eyebrow lifted even more. You wigled your toes in embarrassment. 

“I forgot to bring shoes,” you mumbled, your burst of confidence suddenly dying down. 

“And a dressing gown,” he added, his pupils darting back down to your chest and hips in the almost sheer underdress you were wearing to sleep. “And some common sense,” he added, locking eyes with you. 

You crossed your arms on your chest to prevent him from looking any further. Then you lifted your chin in disdain at his last phrase. 

“That’s not very polite of you. Gentlemen avert their eyes.” 

“Tell me, Miss. What prevents me from grabbing you and making you descend here in this town with the excuse of you not following the rules?” 

You gulped. “Common sense, of course. Why would you even do that?” 

“Why not? Maybe I forgot to bring it with me the way you did coming here.” 

You let your arms fall down in anger. “That would be very inappropriate and illegal!” 

“Says who?” he smirked. “There’s no warning near the door saying I can’t do that.” 

You bit your lower lip. “I get it. I should not be here. But you can’t push me out of the train. That would be barbaric.”

The Conductor stepped back inside in one fluid movement. “Usually passengers rest in their coaches or entertain themselves with the others in an attempt to find their soulmate. They don’t go wandering about.” 

You dropped your gaze to his chest as he was getting way too close for your liking.

And when he unbuttoned his jacket, slowly, and let it slide off his shoulders and fall on yours instead, you visibly shuddered.

It was warm and big, and it smelled like him. Like that overwhelming flowery perfume.

You felt dizzy. 

“I was just curious,” you whispered, feeling like a little child being scolded. But the Conductor’s expression was warm when you dared to look at his face again.

His lips were full and plump and you felt a tight lump in your throat seeing them move. 

“Go back to sleep, Miss.” 

His deep voice rang in your head the whole time you washed your face and brushed your teeth, feeling it incredibly warm. You let his jacket fall on the seat in front of your bed but as you slid under the covers you wore it again, and nuzzled you face into the material. 

_________

In the morning, or what you felt was morning, you wore another dress you packed, a deep blue one you instinctively chose with little black flowers around the crown of it. 

Some people were walking against you in the corridor and you could audibly hear them stop their breathing as you locked eyes.

They were wondering if you were their soulmate.

Yesterday you would have walked slowly and looked around shyly as well, but today all you wanted to do was to bring the Conductor his jacket back and all of those people were just in your way. 

You were about to start pushing against people’s shoulders when Mark’s head pocked out of a coach and his ruffled hair made you realized he just woke up.

Not in his bed. 

“Mark Lee!” you stopped in place. 

“Fuck,” he blinked at you. “You out of all people. I mean, so nice to see you-”

“Did you find your soul-”

Mark exited the coach quickly and closed the door behind him. “Shh,” he was about to place one hand on your mouth but then looked at it and put it behind his back instead. 

“Let’s not- do not say anything.” 

You blinked at him. “Are you telling me that-” 

“Maybe,” he interrupted you again. “Listen, people here are gorgeous. There’s no need to save myself for marriage or anything.” 

Your jaw fell. “Mark Lee, did you just sleep with some random woman?” 

He scratched one eyebrow. “Did I offend your sensibility?” 

“You’re just some man, aren’t you?” you looked him up and down. “Whatever. Have fun,” you rolled your eyes and started to walk again. “And wash that hand, would you?” 

“How do you even know-” 

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” you turned around to quickly let your tongue out at him. 

“Is that the Conductor’s jacket?” he asked before you could exit the car. 

“No? I just found it around,” you answered quickly, leaving him behind with his questions. 

The Conductor said you had no common sense but you had enough common sense to know that being seen around with his jacket would somehow be a mistake. He was the one who didn’t have the common sense to know to not send you to bed with it. 

Lost in your thoughts you didn’t realize how far up the train you arrived and when the cars started to be empty safe for storage items you stopped in place to catch your breath.

It was very silent up there, the only sound coming from the rails outside and the steam locomotive. 

You were close. And you had no idea why you knew that. 

The walk towards the locomotive was slow and the spaces less fancy. Some coaches were on your right and you wondered if perhaps the Conductor was in one of them.

Or maybe you were stupid and he was way back in the train, doing his job. 

When you felt like that damned train didn’t even have an end, in front of you a big dark door with a skull on it indicating some type of danger opened and the swish of fresh flowers made you close your eyes for a moment. 

The Conductor’s head was tilted to the side as if amused. 

“I see that this time you’re decently dressed,” he said, the his gaze fell on your chest. “Almost.”

You gulped and put on a brave expression. “I came to give you this back. Thank you.” 

The man looked at the jacket you were holding and reached towards it slowly. His fingertips touched your knuckles for a brief moment and it made you so tense that you felt your head pulsating. 

“You could have rung the bell. There was no need to come all the way up here.” 

You let the air come out your nostrils. “You always scold me. You should be thankful I brought this back to you.” 

“I am scolding you because you keep taking the most convoluted decisions instead of the straight forward ones.” 

The informal conversation and the lack of Miss from his part made you nervous so you tried to look around his shoulder to see if any staff, or worse, the train driver could hear it.

Although you found his tone aggravating you didn’t want him to lose his job or anything. 

“So you didn’t make me come because you were curious to see the Locomotive instead,” the Conductor added, seeing you snoop your nose around.

You straightened your back. “I was just trying to see if someone was listening to your inappropriate comments towards a passenger and a lady.” 

The Conductor smiled and took a step to the side. “No one is here.” 

For a second you forgot about him, the curiosity of how that Train actually worked exciting you more. “Who drives this then?” you stepped in and looked around the small space. 

“No one,” the man explained and his breath caressed the back of your neck. When you looked behind your shoulder you realized he was staring at the goosebumps on your exposed skin. 

“Why is there a chair here, then?” you cleared your throat and walked around it. 

The Conductor wore his jacket and put his hands on the back of the big chair. “I like to sit here and look outside.” 

You lifted your gaze towards the small window in front of you. You hadn’t even realized you could see outside. 

“Do you want to try and sit down?” he asked. 

You bit your lower lip. “Would that be alright?” 

“I thought you didn’t care for rules,” he smirked. 

You lifted your chin and sat down. It wasn’t much, just the railroad in front of you and some trees on each side. But it was peaceful and your curiosity got fully fed.

Now you wondered when it was the time to be killed like a cat. 

“Why are you really here, Miss?” 

The Conductor’s voice was so close to your ear that your spine curved. But you didn’t move away. 

“Don’t-” you gulped. “Don’t flatter yourself or anything. I came here because I was curious and I had to give your jacket back.”

His index finger touched one of your hairs near the ear and you jolted in place, moving your head away. The man was smiling. He was holding a small feather that was probably stuck there. 

“I hope you’re satisfied at all times, Miss,” he replied. “And I am here to make sure all of your future needs are fulfilled as well.” 

That tone and those polite words were meant to be professional yet your mind went to Mark’s ruffled hair and half naked body. You imagined the Conductor’s dark hair on your pillow and his scent engulfing you all as his touch made your spine curve. And his hand, would he also use his hands on you like Mark did with his woman?

You shook the thoughts out of your head and got up quickly, feeling it hard to breathe in that narrow space. 

“Thank you. I will leave now,” you voice was wavering and if he noticed it he didn’t say anything about it. 

“I hope you have a pleasant journey,” he wished as you exited the car. 

He didn’t mention anything about finding a soulmate this time. 

__________

Your scent lingered on Haechan’s body the whole day.

It was in his hair, his nostrils, his skin, around his neck and his hands. He wondered if you slept with his jacket the whole night and the thought of your naked body pressed against the material of it made him almost knock heads with a passenger. 

“Good day to you, Sir,” he tilted his hat last minute.

The young man barely noticed him, as his eyes were directed towards another person in the corner of the car.

Haechan was very acustomed to that gaze. He saw it every day for the past few years - the look of someone madly in love at first sight. 

That was how your eyes looked like the first instant he saw you on the platform waiting for the Train.

Waiting for him. 

He wondered how that gaze looked on his face but he was sure you didn’t notice it.

He wasn’t even sure it was there in the first place. 

His instincts got the best of him and he worked on autopilot. Polite face, good smile, distance.

Hell, he even took the sign away from your windows for five minutes. But then you almost opened the damn curtains - as he intended for you to - and he realized he couldn’t physically let you go.

It was probably a mistake, he thought the first seconds of seeing you. He took the job of the Conductor because his old grandpa couldn’t work anymore. Haechan lived on that train since he could remember. It was always him and his old grandpa, in the middle of the swarm of people looking for soulmates. It made him sick to death to see all that love around him. 

I wish you didn’t hate your parents for falling in love, Haechan, his grandpa used to say.

But it would have been different if they fell in love with each other.

But they didn’t. 

The boy has been told the tale of his family of Conductors many times. It was a curse, they said. No one in his family had soulmates and they were tasked with assisting the Train instead. 

How did you and grandma decide to be together then? small Haechan asked at the time. 

Sometimes you just choose who to spend your life with. This is how your parents met as well. Your father came on this train often and never met his soulmate. Your mother understood he might be a good husband choice so she approached him and that’s how they got together. 

But then dad met another woman on the train and left my mom. 

The grandpa sighed deeply. He just met his soulmate. He didn’t do anything wrong. 

Haechan as a child couldn’t know what to say to that.

He knew something was not right but he didn’t have the vocabulary to argue back.

But as a teenager he finally understood. 

He abandoned my mom, your daughter, and he abandoned me. Don’t speak about that man ever again. 

Haechan’s grandpa would only sigh and pat his shoulder. You’re growing into a fine young man. I am proud of you. And I am sorry that happened. When you’ll meet your person you’ll understand their choices. 

I will never understand it because I don’t have a soulmate. And I surely as hell won’t marry a woman that might meet her rightful soulmate years later and leave me.

Your grandma never left me, he used to remind him. And I wish for you to have children. Who’s going to assist this Train otherwise? 

To hell with this fucking Train, Haechan would explode and run away. 

He didn’t hate the Train.

It was his home.

So when he’d calm down, sitting on the outside metal stairs and looking at the scenery no one besides him and grandpa were allowed to see, he’d realize he didn’t hate his parents either.

His mom remarried and left the Train after dad left.

Haechan wasn’t sure if she was actually in love although from her letters she seemed happy, but the memories of her time closed off in a coach on the verge of death were still haunting him. Haechan stopped reading his father’s letters altogether and started to burn them in the Locomotive. 

A young woman approached him and Haechan shook off the memories and the convoluted thoughts about you from his head. 

“How may I help you, Miss?” he placed his hands behind his back with the best custom service expression plastered on his face. 

The woman seemed embarrassed. 

“If you need anything, please, don’t hesitate to ask me,” he tried to reassure her. 

She inhaled and took a step forward. Haechan leaned down to hear her better. “Well, you know how you said the coaches makes appear everything that you want? I was-, well, I met a man and- I know he’s not my soulmate but it’s not against the rules and we’re doing fine together for now and we were well, we were wondering how to make- how not to-” 

“Get pregnant?” Haechan simply asked and the woman’s pale face turned purple from embarrassment.

She surely didn’t expect him to be that straightforward. “Usually if you really don’t want that to happen, it doesn't,” Haechan continued. “If you’ve encountered difficulties then maybe you or your partner have-,” he interrupted himself. “-a breeding kink?” 

The young woman placed her palms to her cheeks and gave him a little bow. “I understand. I think I need to go now, Sir. Thank you, Sir.” 

“You just have to-” Haechan tried again but the woman already ran away. 

“I see I’m not the only one you’re being not so professional with,” a voice made him turn around. 

__________

You were on your way for lunch. Or dinner? You lost track of time. You’ve been on that Train for less than 24 hours yet you felt like a lifetime already passed. To think you had to stay there until meeting your soulmate made you almost throw up. 

“I thought you were very excited to meet your soulmate,” Mark commented that morning, eyes closed under the fake sun in the fake seaside car.

You sighed. 

“I am.”

You were.

Or you thought you were. But somehow you lost interest. You imagined yourself inside the Train for so long that the moment you actually got on it it all lost meaning. 

And how was it possible that none of the men looked interesting enough to even have a mere conversation? The only ones approaching you were trying to get under your dress and you soon realized that romance was not the way you imagined it to be. 

“You don’t sound like excited. It’s as if you can’t wait to get off of here,” he opened one eye then turned to his side to see you better. “If you haven’t met the one yet, then what about enjoying it to the fullest until you can? It’s a place with free food and entertainment.” 

You gave him the side eye. “I do not intend to sleep around with random men. I’m a lady.” 

Mark rolled his eyes. “I’m also a gentleman and going down on people doesn’t make me less gentle.”

You almost spat your water. The Train somehow made everyone change or it opened your innocent eyes because you had no idea your childhood friend had that side of him. 

“Did you really not find anyone who’s kinda attractive? You don’t even have to know his name,” he insisted. 

Actually, there was a man whose name you didn’t know who you found very attractive. That was probably the worst part of that experience. Was it normal to be attracted to the Conductor like that? 

You shook your head. “Nonsense. I will wait for my soulmate. And no, no one around is attractive enough.” 

Mark exhaled and went back to his previous position. “I just don’t like seeing you sad.” 

“I’m not sad.” 

“Then angry.” 

“I’m not angry.” 

“You’re angry now.” 

“Because you’re pissing me off,” you sat up. “I’m going to eat.” 

You were already too confused for your liking. You didn’t need Mark Lee to investigate further.

The desire to have a soulmate was still there deep inside, the longiness and the need, yet for some reason you also felt numb to everything around you. 

Still feeling like Mark rubbed you the wrong way you almost missed the figures of the Conductor leaning down to whisper in a young gorgeous’ woman’s ear in the middle of the Library wagon. 

The woman seemed scandalized and so red that she looked like a tomato. The Conductor’s face was unfazed but a bit confused as she ran away. 

“I see I’m not the only one you’re being not so professional with,” you couldn’t help but say. 

The car was empty safe for the two of you and when he turned around you smelled his ever present scent.

It drove you insane. What kind of damn cologne was that man wearing?

“What do you go flirting with passengers for?” you crossed your arms on your chest. Maybe Mark was right and you were actually angry but seeing the Conductor’s face just added to the whole irritation, especially catching him flirting with your shy women. 

The Conductor tilted his head to the side as if genuinely surprised but also intrigued at your reaction. 

“What if someone else besides me saw you? What would happen to your position and reputation?” you went on. 

The man took his time to open his mouth and talk. “I don’t understand if you’re mad at me or if you’re worried for me.”

You lifted your chin. “Maybe both.” 

“It takes a good amount of care for both. Do you care about me?” 

He took a few steps towards you and the closeness made his voice quieter. 

You didn’t let him intimidate you with his charm. 

“I was raised a lady of good principles and seeing the Conductor of a Train meant to help people find their soulmates flirt with its passengers is not appropriate and I have to speak on it.” 

The Conductor’s smile widened. “And lurking at the time of descent in a skimpy night gown and nude feet is appropriate?”

His dark blue eyes were more stormy than usual and the moles on his face reminded you of the nightsky above you as you were waiting for the Train. 

“Coming all the way to my coach with a dizzying cleavage is appropriate?” 

His voice was so deep and close that you had to avert your gaze to catch your breath. 

“Shaking like this in my presence and being unable to look me in the face is appropriate?” he whispered so close to your lips that you inhaled and took a few steps back. 

“You’re also here to find a soulmate, Miss. Concentrate on doing that and leave other people’s business to themselves,” he added in his usual calm voice and walking around you he left you breathless and alone in the middle of the Library. 

________

Haechan reached for his tie to undo the knot and he realized his fingers were slightly shaking.

Your scent made him more on edge than usual and the fact he could still smell you on his jacket made him unreasonable mad.

And your face and expression, your hurt eyes seeng him talk to that woman, as if you were jealous, was driving him insane.

What were you thinking roaming around him like that? With your delicate blue dress and your cleavage moving up and down in that damn corset with every quick breath your took? 

He should have let you move the curtains and never see you again. 

Haechan walked the distance from the entrance door of the car to the Bar and without caring about anyone he walked behind it and poured himself a shot of whiskey. 

“Hard day?” a voice made him sigh deeply before turning around. 

He forced himself to smile. “I am not in service right now,” he lied to excuse his drinking on the job. 

The young man waved his hand. “No one would care anyway. They’re either on a date or uhh fucking.” 

“Would you like one?” Haechan indicated the bottle, ignoring the man’s choice of words.

The other nodded. “I’m Jeno.” 

He expected Haechan’s name in return but the Conductor never tells his name to passengers. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay,” Haechan said instead, pushing a glass towards Jeno. 

The latter took it and winced after downing it. “I’m not here for that. I’m actually a journalist.” 

Haechan fought the urge to roll his eyes. There was one of two of them every year trying to gather some kind of hidden information about the Train. Haechan also thought there were some secrets about it growing up but it was a pretty straight forward thing. Just a Train in which you can meet your soulmate. Nothing more.

Well, that until he met you and your scent got under his skin. 

“Is there something specific you’re writing about?” Haechan politely asked. 

“Is it true that soulmates understand they’re soulmates because of each other’s scent?” he asked, and a writing pad materialized in front of him. 

Haechan eyed his pen ready to take notes then his face. “You should ask the passengers. I am not someone who has a soulmate.” 

“So it’s true that the Conductor has no soulmate.” 

“Yes. It’s not a secret.” 

Jeno nodded, not writing anything as if that wasn’t the information he was actually seeking out of him. 

“My parents said there’s no such thing as scent. They’re also divorced,” he said. 

Haechan sighed. Another young man hurt by that Train and his parents. “Sometimes people come here and go home together even if they’re not sure they’re actual soulmates. Maybe your parents mistook their union for a soulmate bond but it was just infatuation.” 

“Shouldn’t this place guarantee a soulmate union?” Jeno asked. He looked very angry and Haechan could understand why. “What’s the purpose of this Train then? Let people choose each other on land at this point.” 

“It’s called free choice. The Train knows who’s an actual soulmate pair and usually it doesn’t stop for couples who are not actually bonded. This is why the train is not stopping now for all the people who are- uh, fucking.” Haechan was too exhausted to choose a more gentlemanly term for that. 

Jeno didn’t seem to care. “Then why did it stop for my parents?” 

“They probably insisted for it to stop. The Train doesn’t go against the free choice.” 

Jeno poured another shot, gave it to Haechan and took a deep gulp straight from the bottle. 

“Nice chat, Conductor. Can I ask to leave now?” 

Haechan kept quiet for a moment. “You should stay until you meet someone or until the Journey comes to an end. If you leave now you will not be allowed to come back.” 

“There’s no such thing,” Jeno whispered and got up, walking towards the windows. With one quick hand he moved the curtains away. The Train stopped slowly on its tracks and Haechan sighed. 

“Please follow me. I’ll escort you to the exit for going against the rules."

__________

Is it true that soulmates understand they’re soulmates because of each other’s scent?

That phrase has been haunting you for the following hours.

You were rolling in bed from the moment you decided to try and sleep after pacing your coach for a while.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop.

You didn’t even mean to follow the Conductor but his pace was urgent and the curiosity still hasn’t killed you, especially after that heated conversation you had in the Library.

Shaking in his presence and being unable to look him in the face? He could see that? What was going on and why were you feeling like committing the biggest crime you could think of?

No, why was the Conductor with his deep eyes and his pillowy lips and his smooth voice the only thing you could think of when you were on that dam Train to find your soulmate?

The Conductor walked towards the Bar and you remained back in the smaller corridor, watching his throat gulp that brown liquid like it was water. Why did he look so upset? Was it you? Or was it his missed opportunity with that lady that you interrupted?

You felt stupid spying him like that and you were about to turn around and walk away when the voice of a second man made you stop in your tracks. 

I’m actually a journalist, the man said and you wondered what the Conductor would say back. Would he accept to give the journalist information?

Is it true that soulmates understand they’re soulmates because of each other’s scent? You felt your blood turn to ice. What did he mean by that? Scents? Your parents didn’t tell you anything about that. 

But then the following exchange of information made you feel even worse. 

You should ask the passengers. I am not someone who has a soulmate.

So it’s true that the Conductor has no soulmate.

Yes. It’s not a secret.

Mark looked like a baby chick with his hair ruffled around his face. But you could tell it was from simple sleeping and not messing around with someone’s daughter’s insides. 

You pushed him back into his coach after he opened the door and you sat down. 

“Wow, when I told you to look around and decide who to fuck I didn’t think that someone would be-” 

You interrupted him. “Mark, tell me everything you know about the Train, soulmates, and-” you stopped for a second, “the Conductor.” 

Mark blinked hard as if unable to keep his eyes open and laid back in his bed. “It’s the middle of the night.” 

“Actually I’ve been trying to keep track of the time and it should be middle of the afternoon.” 

“Well, everything here is fucked and for me it’s middle of the night. Why are you so curious all of a sudden?” 

You sighed and relaxed in the dark red velvety couch. “Have you ever heard of people feeling their soulmate’s scent more that other people’s?” 

Mark hummed, one hand to scratch his forehead. “Yes. Johnny talked about it but at the time I thought it was something stupid people in love notice about each other. He said his partner smelled like patchouli and warm spices.” 

You lifted your legs up to warm them under your night gown. “And your parents?” 

“Dad said mom smells like lavender and mom said dad smells like woody herbal amber or something like that,” he chuckled, shaking his head. 

He then opened his eyes and got up to sit, mirroring you. “Why? Did you meet someone whose scent is intense for you?” 

You wondered if telling him the truth. “No, I just-” you played with a loose string along the hem of your gown, “I overheard a man talking about his parents never mentioning any scent and they’re divorced now.” 

Mark leaned forwards. “Are you worried that your parents are not real soulmates since they also never mentioned scents?”

Actually that didn’t even cross your head but you realized that might be a possibility. You didn’t want your parents to divorce or anything. 

“Oh, come on. I’m sure that’s not the case at all,” Mark came to sit beside you and wrapped your shoulders with his arms. You weren’t there because of your parents but Mark felt warm and comfortable to lean on so you didn’t correct him. 

“What about the Conductor?” he then asked and you hoped he couldn’t feel the way you tensioned in his hold. “What did you want to know?” 

You gulped and sat straight, letting Mark’s arms fall to your waist instead. “I’ve heard he doesn't have a soulmate.” 

Mark nodded. “I’ve heard that too. Honestly I thought he would be some kind of very ancient man. At least, my parents said he’s very old, but maybe this is a new one.” 

You kept quiet, biting your lower lip. 

“What is it that you’re not telling me?” Mark whispered. 

You lifted your gaze and his big sparkly eyes gave you the courage to open your mouth. 

“If the Conductor has no soulmate, and soulmates feel each other’s scent, then why do I feel the Conductor’s scent everywhere I go?” 

________

After Mark collected his jaw from the floor and you kept him up brainstorming the whole night, you met both early in the morning over breakfast to further discuss the possibility of you and the Conductor being soulmates. 

“Not to put you down or anything,” he repeated, “but I’ve never heard of anyone bonding with the Conductor.” 

You sighed staring down your coffee with no desire to drink it but knowing it would wake you up. 

“I know, Mark, this is why I’m so dumbfounded.”

“I mean, also the original Conductor was a mummy of an old man. Maybe that’s why no one bonded with him. Maybe he was married already and that's how the rumour of him not having a soulmate started.”

You had a sip of the bitter liquid and winced. You were glad Mark was playing devil’s advocate with himself because you had no more force to discuss all the different points of view. 

“I don’t even think it matters. He warned me multiple times to leave him alone and find a soulmate. How would being soulmates with him even work? Where would the Train stop? Would I be forced to stay here? Being the Conductress? Forever?” you felt like descending into madness. 

“Listen, calm down. I think the solution is to check it myself first. We find him, I smell him. If it’s just his high quality cologne then you can put your mind at ease.” 

You didn’t want to ask what would happen if he couldn’t smell anything but maybe your desperate eyes told him your feelings because he sighed.

“And if I don’t smell anything, I try to rizz him up and I’ll be like dang you look like you know your cologne. Can you show me your collection? And I go to his coach and I smell all of the bottles and if it’s any of them we know it’s just his perfume and not his actual scent.” 

You opened your mouth. 

“And-” he interrupted lifting one finger, “if it’s none of them then we will come back here and brainstorm together. He’s an attractive man. Maybe you’re just sexually attracted to him. I bet that if you tried and fucked-”

“I will not fuck the Conductor,” you said, perhaps too loudly. You both looked around. 

You lowered your voice. “I don’t know what’s going on but having that kind of relation with him doesn’t sound like a good idea.” 

Mark leaned back in his chair. “Okay then. I’ll start by going on with my plan then we’ll see.”

You exhaled and nodded once. “That sounds like such a stupid plan.” 

Mark’s smile widened. “At least something fun is happening in this stupid Train besides drinking and sleeping around.” 

________

Haechan finished his morning routine walk across all wagons and sighed looking at his pocket watch. Soon everyone would be done with breakfast and would go about their business. He had to go and assist in the enternatinment wagons in some time as well. 

Then he felt a pair of eyes on his back and lifted one eyebrow. 

“What can I do for you, sir?” he turned around to see your little friend fake confidence leaning on a wall.

If Haechan didn’t know better he’d think the young man was trying to flirt. 

“Oh, hello there Conductor. Or maybe I should say-” Mark stopped his phrase as if waiting for Haechan to say his name. 

“Conductor is fine,” he smiled, joining his gloved hands together in front of him. 

“Right right. I will not push any boundaries. I was just wondering, like from a gentleman to another gentleman, if you can aid me choosing a cologne.” 

Whatever Haechan expected that man to say it wasn’t that.

He had to suppress a laugh. 

“A cologne, sir?” 

Mark walked around him casually. “I mean, I am here to meet a soulmate and I thought damn what if I don’t smell good? That’s my biggest fear actually, you know?” he put his hand on the chest to convey how intensely he felt about not smelling good. 

“When you’ll meet your soulmate, sir, they will think you smell like their favourite scent, so no need to worry.” 

Mark stopped in his tracks and his stupid fake expression fell. “You said soulmates smell like their favourite scents just now?” 

Haechan exhaled. “That’s what I said, sir.” He really hated repeating himself. 

Mark kept looking at him so Haechan was about to excuse himself and bid the weird man farewell but then the awareness of his behaviour washed over him like a cold wave and he stopped in place.

Haechan lifted his gaze and met Mark’s intense black eyes. 

“Are you not curious why I am asking you about scents, Mister Conductor?” his voice suddenly became lower. 

“I am not a curious man, sir,” Haechan straightened his tie with the intention of leaving. He didn’t like where all of that was going.

But Mark took a step to the side, blocking his way. 

“So what’s your favourite scent?”

Haechan fought the urge to grab the dude and physically move him away. “I like clean and fresh scents, sir.” 

“And what does Y/N smell like?”

Haechan put his tongue in the cheek and flared his nostrils. “I wouldn’t know.”

_________

Mark thought about keeping this all a secret from you. Being soulmates with the Conductor of the Soulmates Train didn’t sound like a great time. It was like falling in love with Death when it comes to kill you. But he wasn’t going to be a bad friend. 

He told you to wait in the Seaside wagon in hopes you could relax hearing the sea waves, but when he entered he found you fidgeting instead. 

“How did it go?” you walked up to him but he exhaled and dragged you towards the lounge chairs.

He didn’t know what you wanted to hear, if confirmation that the Conductor was your soulmate, or if you wanted nothing to do with him. 

“First of all, he doesn’t smell like anything to me,” Mark said. “He just has a normal clean person scent. Like any other person.” 

You swallowed and inhaled shakily, letting the information sink in. 

“Second of all, he said soulmates smell like each other’s favourite scents.” 

You opened your mouth but nothing came out of it.

“What does he smell like to you, Y/N? Is it flowers?” 

Mark knew you’ve always loved that scent. The sweet but fresh perfume of flowers with their infinite colours. 

He didn’t need you to answer, he saw it in your pupils. You watched Mark close his eyes for a moment and exhale then open them again. 

“It’s not all,” he said. “He behaved weirdly when I mentioned you. I have a hunch that he can sense your scent as well.” 

________

I think you should talk about it together, Mark suggested, but you couldn’t just do that, could you? He was the Conductor after all. Such thing was impossible. 

Also, for how much you loved Mark, risking such improper behaviour only because of a hunch was too much for you. 

You thought you were afraid of not finding a soulmate. Growing up that has been your everlasting fear; yet your brain has never even taken into consideration the perspective of finding your soulmate in a man you could not have. 

For how much you’ve been wanting to see him, bump into him, or exchange a few stupid words to each other in the past days, your felt the same equal amount of desire to avoid him at all costs. 

You thought you wanted Mark to come back and tell you that it was just the Conductor’s overbearing cologne. You wanted him to say he smelt it too and that is confirmation that he couldn’t possibly be your soulmate.

Yet when he fed your idea that the Conductor might be your man the relief was so intense that you almost cried. 

It drove you insane. 

The following days you haven’t seen the Conductor once. Perhaps the encounter with Mark made him uncomfortable and he decided to avoid you as well. What if he though you were some kind of creep? He did warn you to leave him alone and concentrate on finding a soulmate instead. Was it possible to have a one sided soulmate? 

Somehow you felt like that situation was all your fault. Maybe that was the death moment of the curiousity saying, because you kinda felt like dying slowly if you thought about any other man. Maybe if you didn’t go to see the descending moment, maybe if you didn’t sleep with his jacket, maybe if you didn’t go and find him in the Locomotive, maybe if you didn’t confront him in the Library, you wouldn’t feel like that.

Maybe maybe maybe. 

“I know this is not good friend advice, but you could get your mind off of him by, you know, using someone else,” Mark shrugged, peeling an apple with a knife.

You sighed, pulling your summer hat lower on your eyes. The seaside car soon became you and Mark’s favourite. “You know what? Maybe you’re right.” 

“You finally gave in my temptation?” he wigled his eyebrows. 

“Yes. You’re the little devil sitting on my shoulder.” 

Mark cut a piece of apple and ate it off the knife. “I can introduce you to some fine gentlemen.” 

You snorted. “I saw the gentlemen you have around Mark Lee.” 

“And? Are they not fine?” 

“You can have them.” 

Mark rolled his eyes. “Do you want to have fun or not?” 

“I do. But I’m not sure if fucking random men is what I consider peak of amusement,” you replied. Mark didn’t say anything so you kept going. “Although, I noticed that the light brow hair man is not bad. I think his name is Jaehyun. He has nice hands and a great smile. I do enjoy a good dimple.” 

You expected Mark to laugh at you but he remained quiet safe for a little nudge he gave you. You sighed. “The other J name man is not bad either. He’s tall and he looks gentle like a puppy.” 

“Uhm,” Mark said and nudged you again. 

“What? You said I should sleep with one of them,” you slid away the hat to give him a venomous side eye when your mouth dropped open. 

Mark was looking at you with a little tight smile and in front of you, almost covering the artificial sun of the wagon, was standing the Conductor. 

“I apologize, Miss. I didn’t want to interrupt your- uh lovely monologue,” he tilted his stupid hat. 

You sat up feeling your body on fire. Then you looked at Mark who gave you a small apologetic smile. 

Your mouth was dry and you had no idea what was the appropriate thing to say to someone who overheard you talk about fornication. 

His scent should have told you he was there, but maybe you got so used to it that you were feeling it everywhere, messing with your perceptions. 

“Good day, sir,” you stupidly said. 

“I was just making sure you’re enjoying your stay,” the Conductor looked at you first, then Mark. “From your conversation I assume everything is fine.” His eyes looked black in the shadow and the little line between his eyebrow looked like a crack in his otherwise perfect face.

You gulped and bit your lower lip. 

“Just a precaution. I told this the lady that stopped me in the Library the other day also, if you remember. As a contraceptive, please make sure to strongly desire to not get pregnant, so the Train can take care of you.” 

________

The fact that useless friend of yours ambushed him like that told Haechan that you probably felt his scent everywhere as well.

And you must have spoken about it in such a way that made Mark investigate.

It made Haechan’s fingers tingle and they’d tingle ever more when he’d slid them underneath his covers at night, and fuck his fist to the image of you until he had to push his face into the pillow to muffle his groans. 

Everything was a mess and for the first time in his life Haechan didn’t know what to do. 

The letter he wrote his grandpa asking for advice was still unsent, looking at him from his desk.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to expose himself like that to his family. His grandpa would be nothing but supportive.

I knew you’d find a partner. See, now you understand it. It makes sense how your parents felt, doesn’t it?

Because no. Haechan didn’t understand it and his parents’ behaviour still didn’t make sense to him. Also, he hated to hear others say I told you so. 

But also, his family never mentioned the possibility of a full-on soulmate. They said someone random. Someone that couldn’t find anyone else. Someone who would accept Haechan as a second choice. 

He rolled in bed, the stickiness of his desire still coating his hand. Then he huffed and got up to wash.

His desire. It was such a foreign feeling to him to leave him breathless.

Yet it felt so familiar that he felt like he could finally breathe deeply. It felt like things were finally right, like he was finally home. 

That morning he didn’t follow with his duties thoroughly as usual. The Train stopped twice and he looked behind his shoulder to check whether you were there, in your skimpy underdress and nude feet.

But you weren’t. 

He tried to ignore you for the past few days and apparently you were doing the same. 

Yet, he could feel your scent in the whole Train, as if you’ve just left the wagon he entered.

He wondered if you felt him everywhere as well. 

In the afternoon, he couldn’t take it anymore so he followed the trail. He would just give you a short look, something to further fuel his autodestructive night fantasies. 

You were in the Seaside car, as usual, your dress ridden up your thighs on that chaise longue and Haechan wondered how could Mark concentrate on cutting that apple without cutting his finger when you looked like that besides him. 

“I know this is not good friend advice, but you could get your mind off of him by, you know, using someone else,” Mark shrugged. 

Haechan stopped in place. He wasn’t eavesdropping. You were talking loudly enough for everyone to hear. But he didn’t want you to sense him.

You wanted to get your mind off of whom? Haechan?

“You know what? Maybe you’re right,” you replied and Haechan tightened his fist in his white glove. The image of you sleeping with someone else suddenly appeared in front of Haechan’s irises made the seaside car look like the north pole instead. 

“You finally gave in my temptation?” that useless fellow asked and Haechan has never wanted to have a fist fight with a passenger more.

Of course, he wondered already if Mark was your soulmate and you both dumb idiots didn’t notice.

Maybe that’s why Mark even inquired about scents in the first place.

But why was Haechan sensing your scent if you were taken and why did the Train not stop for you two if that was the case?

Could the Conductors curse be that cruel? Making Haechan fall in love with a woman he could not have?

“I can introduce you to some fine gentlemen,” Mark said and Haechan didn’t know if he should feel relieved Mark wasn’t offering himself for your entertainment or be jealous at the idea of someone else touching you. 

He decided to intervene. 

“I do. But I’m not sure if fucking random men is what I consider peak of amusement,” you replied right when Mark lifted his gaze and a piece of apple fell from his mouth on the fine sand at his feet.

Haechan gave him a venomous look and opened his mouth to interrupt your scandalous monologue. 

But you went on. “Although, I noticed that the light brow hair man is not bad. I think his name is Jaehyun. He has nice hands and a great smile. I do enjoy a good dimple.” 

Haechan felt his jaw muscles twitch. “The other J name man is not bad either. He’s tall and he looks gentle like a puppy,” you continued. 

Mark had the decency to look scared. 

“I apologize, Miss. I didn’t want to interrupt your lovely monologue,” Haechan finally said as you finally realized what was going on. 

He came there like a thirsty man to have a single drop of water and you were thinking of sleeping with other men instead.

Haechan felt like stopping the Train and descending himself. 

Your eyes were glossy when you looked up at him, maybe from the sun but also from the embarrassment.

Haechan felt like making you feel even worse. 

________

Your gaze followed the Conductor’s spine as he exited the wagon and you let a single pained whine as you burrowed your face into your palms. 

“Mark Lee.” 

The poor Mark got up and away from you as if he could sense you might take your frustration out on him. 

“It’s not my fault.” 

You let your hands fall in your lap. “Now he thinks I’m a whore.” 

“I don’t think that changes anything. You don’t need his opinion or approval.” 

You got up with another whine. “He ignored me for days and now that he approached me again he overheard me talk about who of your friends I might fuck.” 

Mark finished his apple. “Hey. Wasn’t that your intention? Getting rid of him? Forgetting him?” 

You exhaled.

Yes, but why did it feel so bad?

_______

They all eyed you the following night - the first ball party of the season, the little card said.

This time the ink didn’t smudge when it appeared on your nightstand out of thin air and it didn’t look like it was written by hand.

One detail made you bite your lower lip. Wear masks, the card said.

The car that was hosting it was huge and you realized it must have been some sort of optical illusion to make the space feel so big. The center was empty and you assumed it was for dancing. Most people were standing near the refreshment tables or near the walls and the exciting but nervous air made your skin shiver. Everyone from the train was there and you realized it was the perfect moment to meet a soulmate. 

With uncertain feet in your high heels you reached towards the drinks but the glasses didn’t move from the tray. 

“You need to say what you want and the glass unglues itself,” the Conductor said and his long fingers appeared in front of you. They wrapped the leg of a glass. “Champagne,” he said and the glass remained in his hand. 

You didn’t dare to look at him. “I didn’t know Conductors were allowed to drink,” you tried, remembering the time he felt the need to have that wiskey shot in the bar. 

“How do you know I am the Conductor?” he asked. His voice was low but light and amused. 

You turned around quickly to see a black mask, leaving nothing but an anonymous jawline and a pair of lips. His hair was covered by a silver crown and in his elegant suit no one could have noticed who he was.

But you did.

You cursed at yourself.

The Conductor leaned closer. “Is it because of my scent?” he whispered. 

You gulped and looked away towards the drinks tray. 

“So you admit it,” you murmured, wondering if someone was looking at you. 

“Admit what?” he asked. 

The crowd of people cheered and you assumed a new couple formed.

The intermission helped you cool your head. 

“I don’t know the names of all the drinks,” you changed subject. 

The Conductor didn’t seem surprised. “Which one do you want?”

“I don’t know. The least dangerous looking one.” 

“Bubbles,” he ordered and then gave you the glass full of sparkly liquid. It smelled fruity. 

“Thank you,” you said. 

“Do you always go for the least dangerous looking thing?” he turned around and looked towards the hall.

Some brave couples started to dance and you enjoyed the way the ladies gowns flowed under the golden lights. 

“Yes.” 

“Are you sure?” he smiled once before taking a sip of his drink. 

“Yes,” you took a sip of your bubbles as well. They buzzed on your tongue. 

“So you didn’t avoid me because you were afraid of me the past few days.” 

It wasn’t a question.

“You knew where to find me if you wanted to see one of your passengers. This is your Train.” 

The Conductor let his gaze fall on your face. “I did find you. You were talking about very interesting arguments.”

You gimaced, thinking of the Seaside Wagon incident. “It was just talk. I did not-” you started to explain the you realized how stupid it sounded trying to justify your actions, or non-actions, to him. 

The Conductor sipped from his drink in silence. You couldn’t read his face normally, and with that mask you really had no idea what he was thinking. 

“Are you upset I didn’t contact you all of these days?” he asked instead. "It was my understanding you were trying to forget someone by engaging in those actions and I am self centred enough to think that someone was me."

His honesty left you breathless. You considered lying. Admitting it would have been too humiliating. “No. I understand why you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.” 

“Which is?” 

“I look like a crazy woman who claims you’re her soulmate because you smell like flowers,” you blurted out before realizing what you just said.

Your hands in your white lacey gloves started to shake. 

The man remained quiet for a moment then he chuckled. “Really? I smell that nice to you?” 

You exhaled. “This is not a laughing matter.”

The Conductor analyzed your expression. “I apologize. I didn’t realize how this made you feel.” 

His tone gave you the courage to look him in the eyes. Even behind the mask they looked alive, torbid like the dark deep sea. 

But looking was a mistake. 

“I suppose it’s something common for you,” you inhaled, starting to hate the everlasting flowers perfume surrounding him. “Women with soulmate claims over you, that is,” you explained. 

The Conductor looked in front of himself and took another sip. “Yes. I am a charming man afterall.” 

You hated him. Was he punishing you? Or did he actually not care about you at all?

“Well, I avoided you because I wanted to say I had no claims. Take this as a compliment on you smelling decently and let’s move on.” 

“And what moving on means for you?” he inquired. 

“Acting as normal Train Conductor and Passenger,” you took another sip of your bubbles. It started to taste too sour. 

“Tonight many couples will make the Train stop,” he announced. “Would you like to see?” 

You turned towards him and you locked eyes. “Does that sound like normal Conductor and Passenger behaviour to you?” 

The young man laughed at your scolding. “I just know you’re curious.” 

“Why would you be kind to me like that? Do you want to push me out of the Train as you’ve expressed your interests towards doing before?” 

“I wouldn’t mind getting rid of you actually,” he joked and you could tell he didn’t mean it.

But the tears that secretly collected in your eyes during that conversation were close to falling to your cheeks. You left his side quickly but not before hearing him call out your name. 

________

Y/N. 

For some reason you thought he didn’t even know the names of every passenger.

Was that normal behaviour? From Miss to nothing to your actual first name. 

He pissed you off. 

He pissed you off so badly that the tears streaming down your cheeks were tears of anger, you decided. 

“Oh heavens. Are you alright, dear?” a young woman stopped in tracks with her man. 

“Yes, thank you, Miss,” you bowed a little holding your skirts. You wanted to get out of that car.

No. You wanted to get out of the damn Train. 

Was it normal for love to hurt like that? Was all of that even love? 

You had no idea afterall.

Everyone said you would just know and everything would fall into place. You’d have the best experience and make the Train stop to settle down with the love of your life. Then why all of those people felt like nothing around you and the only man your heart ached for you couldn’t have? 

“Hey hey hey,” Mark stopped you by putting his hands on your shoulders. 

You were barely seeing where you were walking. 

“What happened?” he asked. “Did you see him?” 

Bless Mark and his everknowing third eye. 

You gave him a little nod and he pouted his lips, holding you into his arms. “There there. It’s alright. It’s okay.” 

The people walking around you gave you some looks as they tried to reach the ball hall but you didn’t care. 

“Mark, can you be my soulmate so we can go home and live together in a cottage?” you joked, your voice was muffled against his shoulder and you heard him chuckle.

“Actually-” he trailed off and you let him go, rubbing your eyes and finally eying the person on his side who was patiently waiting for you to calm down. 

“I want to introduce you to my-” he added then interrupted himself again, looking at the smiling person with eyes you’ve never saw him have. “-the love of my life,” he finished. 

________

Your coach felt like the safest place on earth and your cell at the same time. 

After the congratulatory moments and after starting to cry again because you realized how happy you were for your best friend to have found the person he was going to spend his life with, the sad tears came along again as you realized that he was probably going to leave the Train that same evening. 

We’ll come visiting often. Afterall I’m leaving my parents and friends behind as well and I want to see them again, he assured you. 

You sighed and sat down on your bed.

The reflection the mirror in the corner gave you back made you jolt a bit. You cleaned the running mascara from your cheeks and laid down waiting for the Train to stop, trying to empty your brain.

The Conductor’s voice echoing in your head couldn’t let you fall asleep. Why was he behaving like that? Was he that cruel? Couldn’t he actual see what was going on? 

When the Train’s rumbling stopped and you heard the chatter of some couples walking down the corridor you sat back up and opened the coach’s door. 

Mark squeezed you in a tight hug then gave you a thumbs up as he passed in front of you with his luggage and, after some other people, you saw the Conductor closing the line.

He stopped in front of your door and opened his mouth as you locked eyes but then he probaby changed his mind because he closed it soon after in a tight line and followed the rest of the people. 

You remained quiet behind his back and none of the passengers looked like minding having another spectator, so deeply lost in their partner’s eyes. 

“Thank you for traveling with us. I wish you happiness,” the Conductor said, repeating the same phrase you heard him say that first time you witnessed a passengers descent. 

Mark lifted his hand to wave and you exhaled, waving back, feeling tears prick your eyes as he turned around and walked towards the Station.

The Conductor remained there for the following moments and you somehow knew he did it for you. 

“He’ll do fine,” he said after a moment of quiet. 

“I know,” you simply replied. 

“Y/N,” he turned around and you inhaled taking a step back. 

“Don’t call me by my name. We’re not on those terms.” 

The Conductor hesitated but then he took a step inside and the doors closed behind him.

Your gaze was on his shiny shoes so he hunched his back a little to make you look at his face instead. 

The cry and the other events calmed you down by now but seeing his face made all of those feelings resurface.

You forced yourself to look at his eyes the way he cleary wanted you to. 

“My name is Haechan,” he murmured straightening his back. “Would that make us be on those terms now?” 

Your fingers fidgeted at the sound of his name and your lips fought the urge to say it out loud. 

“Why?” you asked instead. “Why are you being mean to me?”

“I’m not trying to be mean,” he got closer to you and you took a few steps back again. 

“I don’t want to be close to you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to be on first name terms with you. I wish for you to leave me alone if you don’t want anything to do with me.”

Haechan kept moving forward as you moved back until you hit the wall with your blades. He got as close as to rest his palms near your head on the wooden wall.

And when he leaned in and rubbed your cheek with the tip of his nose you forgot how to breathe. 

“You smell like fresh cotton and linen,” he whispered with the most desperate tone you heard a man speak. It was so tender that it clouded your mind. “It engulfed me the same instant I opened the doors that night. You’re not insane, I feel it too.” 

He straightened his back and looked you in the eyes. “The soulmate bond,” he added. “This is why you’re irritable when you’re away from me. This is why no one seems interesting to you, why this Journey feels boring. It’s not because you haven’t met the one yet. It’s because you have.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“And? What now?” you didn’t let his sweet words sway you although all you wanted was for him to wrap his arms around you and press those pillowy lips on yours. 

“The truth is I am as lost as you are,” he let his arms fall to his sides. “This is not supposed to happen.” 

“I figured.” 

“I come from the Conductors family,” he started. “Traditionally we do not have soulmates. Our people-” he stopped, as if unsure of how to explain. “-breed by choosing random people they want to be with. Sometimes the couples stay together. Sometimes they don’t if the person who’s not from this family actually meets their rightful soulmate.” 

“Do you know of anyone who separated that way?” you asked although from his eyes you could tell that he did. 

“My parents.” 

You bit your lower lip. “I am sorry,” you wrapped your nudes arms. 

“Are you cold?” he asked but you cut him off seeing his hands going to unbutton his outwear. 

“Don’t you dare giving me your jacket,” you warned him. “It-” you stopped suddenly very embarrassed. “-was a lot to handle the first time,” you settled for, as drove me insane felt too much. 

“I know,” he looked as nervous and for a moment it made you feel better. You also never realized how young he was. He was probably just around your age. “It made me feel a certain well, too,” he added. 

You looked behind him and you realized your coach was just around the corner. Haechan let you walk around him and open the door, grabbing a shawl to put around your shoulders. 

“Come inside. It’s warmer here,” you let your head peek around the corner. 

Haechan felt too big for your coach, you realized, seeing him sitting on the deep dark chairs.

As if knowing to not give you any kind of temptation, there was no bed inside.

You made a mental note to ask Haechan how did the Train knew such stuff. 

“I am as unprepared as you are,” he spoke after a while, resuming his discourse. 

You knew that conversation was due to happen but it didn’t make you feel less nervous. 

“My grandfather never mentioned something like this happen to me. He just assumed I might end up seeing someone with no soulmate. My grandmother was one of them and they haven’t separated. Although now I wonder if she met someone else and actively chose my grandfather instead because of some kind of principle sentiment.” 

All of that raw information made your heart ache. You’ve never thought about the Conductor’s family growing up. You’ve never ever heard of people with no soulmate whatsoever. 

“Would that be that bad?” you asked in a tiny voice. 

His eyes were fiery when he looked at you but you knew he wasn’t mad at you. “Would you enjoy the thought of someone being with you because they feel sorry or because of a promise they made although they’re madly in love with someone else?”

You gulped and looked down at your hands in your lap. 

“You think that would be our situation?” 

The man didn’t reply. You took it for a yes. 

“Or are you afraid I’d leave you after a while? Because you think you’re not my actual soulmate?” 

“I don’t know,” he exhaled. “You’d think for a Conductor of the Soulmates Train I’d be more well versed in these heart affairs,” he chuckled bitterly. 

He closed his eyes and you felt brave enough to stare at his face. You’ve never had the opportunity to see his features for that long. He was so gorgeous that your heart felt like bleeding and the thought of you meeting someone else that would make you feel more than that that felt inimaginable. The thought of him with some other woman felt even worse. 

“If I can’t have you-” you started unable to keep your mouth shut. “I think I’ll just not have anyone else. I can’t even imagine-”

The man smiled and opened his eyes. They were the same deep blue that made you feel like suffocating the first time you saw them. “I am flattered you think this way now.” 

“I’m not going to change my mind.” 

“I love a challenge.” 

He was pissing you off. You told him just that. 

His laugh was so pristine that you felt a little smile bloom on your face as well. 

“Then what? I’ll just finish this Journey and go home? Then I’ll see you next year? Does this make sense to you?” you tried to reason. 

His story was so sad that it made your heart bleed but the relief that washed over you felt so good that it was making you dizzy. He was into you too. He could sense your scent too. He desired you too. You would not let him go away. 

“Sounds good,” he replied with a tiny breathy voice. 

You rolled your eyes. “No, it doesn’t.” 

“Then what? You wish to stay here with me? Forever? On the Train?” he asked instead. 

You bit your lower lip. “Where do you stay when it’s not Soulmates season?” 

Haechan sat lower on the chair and his extended and spread legs made you curse at yourself for finding that attractive. “I live on the Train. Always had.” 

“You just stay here alone? The whole year?” you leaned in surprised. 

The man shrugged. “I had my Grandpa before. It wasn’t that bad. And I don’t know another world besides this one so I don’t miss it.”

“Where is he now?”

Haechan looked towards the window as if actually seeing what was behind that curtain. He probably knew what was behind it, you realized. 

“He’s living with my mother. He couldn’t work anymore as he was too old.” 

You leaned back in your chair as well and lifted your legs to rest them near him.

Haechan turned his head towards them and lifted one hand, letting his fingers trail the arch of one of them making you twitch. 

He looked at your surprised expression and his eyelashes were heavy on his eyes. 

Then he inserted two fingers between the hem of one of his white gloves and took it off, letting it fall to the ground. Then he did the same with his other hand. 

You couldn’t speak.

No, you couldn’t think. 

His fingers were slender and his touch was warm as he caressed your arch again, this time making you fully shiver. Seeing his bare hands shouldn’t have made you feel that way. 

“Haechan,” you murmured, maybe as a warning, or maybe because you simply wanted to say his name. 

“Y/N,” he said back, taking your feet and placing them on top of one of his thighs. He then looked down at them, slowly touching your ankles too, going up as much as he could reach which was too much for your dizzy head giving the crampness of the coach. You could have sworn it wasn’t so small before. 

You hummed as he reached your knee, letting your skirts fall to your thighs in the movement. And when he reached the clasps of your garter keeping the tights up you jolted. 

“I don’t think we should be doing this,” your voice wavered. 

“I know,” he breathed out, yet his hands didn’t move away and you didn’t push them away either. 

They kept going up, over your skirts this time until reaching the back of your corset which was starting to feel way too tight. 

Haechan slowly slid down between your legs, on his knees, as if guided by a string coming from inside of you. The view made you mewl and the thought of doing this with anyone besides him sounded abhorrent in that moment.

The first pull made you inhale and put your hands on his shoulders. They felt firm. 

The second pull at your corset made you bite your lower lip and Haechan’s pupils darted to it. 

“Haechan,” you called out again, this time softly, like a prayer. 

“Yes, darling,” he leaned even closer to you, attentive to your expression and reactions. 

The pet name knocked the air out of your lungs.

“If-” you swallowed thickly, “if we have to separate-, please, I want-” 

Haechan patiently waited for more. His eyes, his fucking eyes, they were so deep, and his lips, so so close to you. You could have just leaned forward and tasted them. 

You felt like going insane. 

“Remember when you said that you’d-” you changed the route of the phrase thinking it would be easier but you stopped again.

Haechan exhaled and pulled another string from your corset. “What is it that you want?” 

“I want you to be my first.”

________

Something inside Haechan’s brain was screaming that it was all a mistake, that he was doing something he shouldn’t have.

But Haechan has been a very good boy his whole life while everyone around him made mistakes with not a single worry in the world. Warm between your legs he didn’t care if he’ll regret it. 

But hearing you he stopped, inches away from your mouth. Your heavy breath was matching his and your cleaveage still tightly restricted in that corset made him wonder if you could feel how hard he was against the heavy skirts of your dress. 

“I need to hear you ask me again, explicitly, and I need to hear you say that you’re aware this might be a mistake and you might regret it,” he grunted. 

You fanned your lashes at him with that pure expression of yours. 

“I want you to make me yours and I am aware of all of the consequences,” you murmured. 

Your tone and the polite choice of words made him want to scream. 

“Please,” you added and Haechan couldn’t take it anymore.

He leaned towards you and grabbed your chin with one hand, tasting the tender skin of your neck instead of your lips. 

You exhaled and trembled against him, your pulse beating so fast underneath his tongue that he wondered how plump and wet you were between your legs. 

So soft and malleable in his arms you let him gently push you into the bed that materialized underneath you. 

________

The Conductor’s eyes were so deep that they looked almost black. His body felt so good on top of yours that you wondered if he could let his weight down even more to fully engulf you with his presence.

You couldn’t imagine feeling such intensity with someone else. He didn’t trust you with your feelings but the moment his lips pressed on yours you were sure he had to be your soulmate or nothing in life would have made sense. 

And when you finally slid your hands in his hair you found it was as soft as you imagined.

His wet velvety tongue on your throat made you mewl in ways you’ve never heard yourself sound before.

Then he kissed your boiling skin on your clavicle and when he reached the swell of your breasts you felt on fire. 

“Hng,” you whimpered, feeling his warm and wide palms press on your waist and slide underneath until he pulled up to sit. He never stopped kissing your body, not even when he pulled harshly at the corset strings to finally undo it. 

You gasped at the sudden freeing sensation and shyly let your arms up for him to drag it up and let it fall to the side. 

He cupped your free breasts soon after under the thinner dress material and you threw your head back. 

Not in a million years you would regret that. It wasn’t possible. 

And when your back hit the mattress again Haechan finally kissed you, slowly, brushing your lips together first, then delicately taking your upper lip between his, letting you taste his bottom one. Your fingers deepened the pressure on his shoulders the same moment you felt his tongue nudge at your mouth. You opened further and timidly let yours meet his. It tingled all over your body and when he slid it fully inside your mouth you moaned.

You couldn’t breathe nor think. You couldn’t even move. 

Was this the love everyone was talking about? Because you were starting to understand. 

In that moment it didn’t matter what you two would end up doing. The only thing you could concentrate on was the ardent kiss and his hands on your arms, reaching up to slid the dress straps off your shoulders.

Then he touched the spot with his lips and you finally gasped, taking in as much air as you could, extending your neck in the opposite direction, giving him more space to fully drive you crazy. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmured against your skin as you twitched ever so slightly. Your breast was almost bare and the thought of him seeing you as no one had before made your nipples poke the dress fabric until it hurt. 

“Tell me to stop anytime and I will,” he added. 

“I don’t want you to stop. Please,” you found yourself saying. 

________

You were so warm. You were warm and soft and Haechan desired you so much that he had to bite his lower lip almost to blood to prevent himself from devouring you completely.

Insane, he thought, you were insane to ask him to fuck you like that, and he was also insane for going with it.

His cock was so hard that it was painful and he imagined you felt the same, so he leaned down and wet your hard nubs making you gasp so deliciously that he made a mental note to do it often.

The thoughts of that being your first time together but maybe also the last was banging into his brain but he decided to ignore it. Your little sounds were grounding him and the way your breast felt underneath his hands, overflowing between his fingers as he squeezed just added to his brain haze. 

He was starting to feel feverish and if he didn’t ended up with his mouth between your legs soon he thought he was going to go insane.

Your hands on his shoulders made shivers go down his spine and when they moved to his hair, he hummed with your nipples against his tongue. 

He wanted to make you feel good, he wanted to make you feel so fucking good.

And he told you, murmuring it on top of your skin, sliding down your torso and letting your scent and warmth guide his clouded brain. 

Haechan took your dress with him and when he couldn’t take it anymore he lifted himself on his knees and dragged it up your legs, throwing it as far as he could.

Your chest was falling and dropping so fast underneath him and he took a moment to enjoy the view, letting his gaze caress you where his hand was, slowly from your ribcage down your navel until reaching the slit between your legs. 

You gasped, the little O on your face making his almost growl. 

“Have you ever touched yourself before, darling?” he asked with a voice he barely recognized. 

You shivered and he leaned back down to shelter you with his body, his hand still lazily drawing circles around your plump and soaked clit. 

__________

You tried to hide your face in the crook of his neck but he was quicker.

You couldn’t believe you were completely naked in front of the man you desired so desperately. Was that the cruel joke of the destiny? Giving you all before taking it away from you?

Haechan kissed your lips, this time deeply and rougher than the first. Then he breathed on them. “Answer me,” he demanded. 

You melwed, unable to think. His fingertips were so delicate and gentle that they almost weren’t there, yet you felt them so well that you couldn’t concentrate on anything else. 

“Only outside,” you admitted. 

Haechan rubbed his nose against your cheek. “I thought you were a curious person. You never felt the need to know how it feels inside?” 

You swallowed thickly. Not in your most depraved thoughts you imagined a gentleman talk to you like that. And you loved it. 

“I was afraid,” you admitted. 

Haechan hummed, kissing slowly alongside your neck then licking your ear. “You’re so sensitive. Were you afraid it was going to hurt?”

You nodded as a reply. 

“Are you afraid now?” he looked you in the eyes, his fingertips never stopping for a moment. 

“No,” you whispered. 

Haechan’s wet lips were open as if to let more air get inside his lungs and the thought of you being the cause to that decadent expression made the wetness between your legs just get worse.

You bit your lower lip, wondering if he noticed and when he dropped his hand by a mere centimeter you could feel his finger nudge at your hole and collect every drop of it. 

You closed your eyes in embarrassment, clasping the material of his shirt on his bicep, and it just made Haechan more eager to rub your clit in ways you never even thought of. 

“Show me,” he said, his voice so thick and rough that you felt like swimming in it. “Show me how you touched yourself.” 

“Please,” you begged unsure yourself for what. 

“Don’t be shy. Put your hand on top of mine and guide me, love,” he murmured with a twinkle in his eyes that made your insides burn. 

You let one of your hands slide down his arm and you reached the back of his hand between your legs. It felt so erotic that you felt like combusting. 

“Yes, just like that,” he prompted you, his lips now back on your chest, gently biting the softness of your flesh. 

You gulped and pressed your fingers on top of his, moving them in little circles you knew felt good. Haechan hummed. “Yeah? Do you like it like this?” 

The little nod you gave him made him smile. Then it turned into something more ferocious. 

“What about this?” he changed the movement, his fingers now gently flicking your nub up and down as well, pressing a bit more that you did it yourself, sending jolts of pleasure across your body. 

“Yes,” you stuttered. 

“Yeah?” he spoke in the crook of your neck. “Did you make yourself cum as well?” 

You threw your head back at the sensation and his tone and his words didn’t help you feel grounded at all. “A few times.” 

Or at least you thought you did. Because the way Haechan was making you feel didn’t even come close to the way you managed to make yourself feel alone. 

“May I?” his words buzzed against your lips, so polite in contrast with the way his fingertip felt like nudging at your core. 

You bit your lower lip and Haechan rubbed his lips on you as a in invitation to bite his lip instead. You inhaled and nodded, pressing your hand on top of his.

He sucked the air between his teeth and kissed you deeply, letting his tongue smack against yours in the wettest and most desperate kiss. 

And when you felt his finger slide inside of you it felt so overwhelming that you clenched so hard he had to break off the kiss to shush you. “You need to relax for me, baby, yeah?” 

You felt your whole body shake and Haechan kissed the corner of your mouth then your cheek, doing on your jaw and neck.

“It’s going to feel very good, I promise,” he murmured against your clavicle. “That’s right,” he exhaled, feeling your melt in his hold. “My sweet sweet girl, just like that.” 

The praise went to your head so badly that you almost didn’t realize the way he managed to move inside and out of you slowly and when he reached a specific spot and curled his finger upwards you jolted in place, grabbing his shoulders with a strong grip, the moan that escaped your throat probably loud enough to wake up the neighbouring passengers. 

“You like that, darling?” Haechan kept fucking you on his finger until you couldn’t close your mouth, the sensation sending the most intense jolts of electricity up your legs and torso. 

“Fuck,” you exhaled and Haechan chuckled. 

“Yeah? My lady became this dirty for me?” 

“Shit,” you couldn’t stop yourself. “Oh, heavens.” 

The wet sounds and Haechan’s quick breaths made you curl your toes, and when he stopped his hand and you felt his finger exit you mewled a protest. 

“More, please?”

Haechan gave you a cocky smile, lifting himself on his knees in front of you and letting you stare at the way he took off his jacket then slowly, so fucking slowly, he unbuttoned his shirt.

His pristine skin peeking underneath the white fabric made your mouth water and you had to sit down as well, leaning in and pressing your lips on his chest. 

________

Haechan exhaled and cupped the back of your head and when he felt your delicate fingers open the rest of his buttons he thought he’d cum on the spot. 

Your touch was heaven on his chest and your lips started to get too low, very low, down his abdomen until reaching the band of his dress pants.

Your ass was full on display the way your were crouching on all fours and when you lifted your gaze up, your mouth so close to the tip of his clothed cock, he reached and gave you a light spank that made your eyes shine and your tender throat mewl. 

He desperately wanted his cock down that throat but he knew it would be insanity. 

So he grabbed your chin instead and pulled you upwards to kiss your mouth again, and this time when he pushed you into the mattress he didn’t care to be gentle.

The grunt that left your chest made him worried that he had been too harsh but the way your grabbed his hair and pulled him into the kiss again, wrapping your thighs around his waist told him you weren’t a porcelain doll. 

And when he left your gasping mouth to devour your cunt the moan you made and the way your body curved almost broke him. 

“Haechan,” you called out and he has never heard someone pronounce his name in a sexier way. 

He hummed back, deeply, licking a stripe up from your hole to your clit and resting on it heavily before rolling the tip around it, tasting you, flicking it until he felt your nails dig in the forearm he snaked around one of your thighs.

He pressed his palm on your lower stomach and the way you inhaled deeply made him suck ever more. 

________

Legs around his head - the Conductor’s head - and his mouth on you, his arms around your limbs and his scent all over your body, you’ve never felt more ready to die. 

“God,” you moaned, shaking in his hold so much that he added more pressure on your hips and when you felt his fingers nudging at your hole again, this time two of them, gently pushing past the rim, you grabbed the sheets underneath your until you had no more strength.

“Please please please,” you mumbled, his fingers hooked in so deliciously that you couldn’t see anymore. You had no idea there was such pleasure out there. 

Haechan hummed, almost growled, his mouth full of your and his deep blue eyes staring at you with such intensity that you just had to let go or you would go insane. 

“I feel-” you tried, your voice rough. 

The man let your clit go for a mere second. “Yeah? Come on, cum for me darling. Come on, my love.” 

It was like a switch, his tongue back on you and his fingers stretching you so well that you could only bury your had in the pillow and scream, coming undone until the only thing you could hear was your own breaths and the gentle rumbling of the Train underneath you. 

Haechan’s little kisses made your shaking thighs relax and you realized you were clasping his wrist so you let go with trembling fingers. 

“My good good girl,” he came towards you, peppering kisses all over your body, his fingers still deep inside of you, feeling the way you kept rhythmically clenching around them. 

His lips were wet and red when he reached your mouth.

You exchanged a deep look that made all the hairs on your body rise and when he kissed you slowly and you tasted yourself on his tongue you felt like pouty in his arms. 

“I want to make you feel good too,” you whispered against his lips. 

Haechan hummed and slid his fingers out, making you hiss. Then with his wet hand he grabbed yours gently and directed it towards his pants. 

“Open the buttons,” he ordered and you gulped, sliding your second arm between your bodies and obeyed, opening them one by one and feeling the heat coming from his body. 

“Now touch me,” he breathed against your temple and you felt like rolling your eyes back from the sheer intensity of that energy. 

You looked up and saw the man of your life close his eyes and furrow his eyebrows almost in pain when you caressed his length from tip until base. 

“Fuck,” he gulped. “Harder,” his order made you bit your lower lip and you added a second hand, grabbing it loosely and moving them both up and down. 

Haechan wrapped your hands with his and you inhaled shakily at the darkness of his eyes. He guided you, making you squeeze more until his breath went missing. 

“Like this?” you asked. He was hot and hard but so velvety that you were afraid to hurt him. 

“Just like that, darling,” he reassured you and when you felt the drops of something sliding under your palm Haechan’s jaw clenched. “You’re making me feel so fucking good, good heavens Y/N.” 

You picked up the pace, loving his sounds and his expressions and he groaned.

You wanted more. You needed more.

“Please, I need you,” you murmured against his cheek. 

Haechan leaned in and bit down on your neck, sucking on your skin and the sting felt so good that you felt your cunt pool up again. “Say that again, darling.” 

You exhaled. “I need you, Haechan, please.” 

“Where?” he breathed on your open mouth. 

“Inside of me,” you choked on air as he reached down and slid his cock out of your hands with a wince, letting it rest between your fold instead. 

“Yeah?”

You nodded and gasped, feeling the heaviness on if rub against your sensitivity. 

“I need you to stop me at any given moment of discomfort. Do you understand me?” 

His tone and demeanor made you almost chuckle. He drove you crazy. 

“Yes, sir,” you whispered and Haechan put his tongue inside his cheek at your choice of words. 

He intertwined his fingers with yours while the other hand held the base of his cock to align himself with you.

It was so big and thick, two veins running down it similar to his forearms and it made you swallow dryly at the sinful thought that came inside of your head. 

But you felt drunk and you didn’t care.

“I want it in my mouth,” you locked eyes with him and Haechan visibly crumbled between your legs. 

“You’ll be the death of me,” he inhaled sharply through his teeth and pushed inside of you slowly making you gasp and squeeze his fingers. 

“Mmmm,” you furrowed your eyebrows and Haechan stopped, leaning down to shush you, kissing your neck and guiding your breaths until you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him forward. 

“Does it hurt?” he murmured, moving his hips ever so slightly, making more and more space for himself. 

“It stings, outside, but it feels good, inside,” your phrases were broken and Haechan chuckled against your lips, giving you a quick kiss that you couldn’t concentrate on as he was getting closer and closer to the spot you oh so desperately wanted him to reach. 

“It’s going to feel better soon,” he reassured. 

“I know. How does- it feel-for-you?” your tiny voice, stuttering because of his shallow thrusts made Haechan dig his other hand in the mattress. 

“It feels like heaven, my darling.” 

You hummed and then gasped as Haechan felt you open even more, swallowing him so well that he had to compose himself before he could start losing it and ram inside of you. 

“Does the thought of me feeling good turn you on, love?” he grabbed your waist, keeping you in place and finally bottoming out. 

Your face scrunched and the moan you let out sounded like music to his ears. 

“Haechan-” 

“Yeah?” 

_______

Your breath was so irregular that you felt not enough oxygen getting to your brain.

There were no words to describe how he felt inside of you, intoxicating, sinful, full, so fucking full, he was all over you, inside your body and mind and heart, you wanted him more and more, you wanted him forever. 

You stared at him between your lashes and you hoped he could see all of that. You hoped he could understand how he made you feel and you hoped he felt the same. 

“I know, baby,” he shushed you, his hips picked up the pace and he was heavy and deep, the sound of his skin slapping yours making you hide your face into the crook of his neck in shame. He let you do that and lifted your hand above your head, pushing into it as much as he wanted to push into you and couldn’t for fear of hurting you. 

Your brain went to the image of him fucking you desperatly and animalistically, fast and with no worry.

You desperately wanted that.

You wanted him again. That couldn’t be the last time you saw each other.

No way. 

“Haechan, kiss me, please,” you managed to speak between the gasps. 

The man leaned down and kissed you deeply, fucking you both with his tongue and his cock, until you moaned into his mouth. 

His eyes were feverish and his forehead shining with a thin layer of sweat.

You let his hand go to wrap his neck and dig your hands in his soft messy hair, not breaking eye contact until with no words you both orgasmed and you lulled each other’s shaking bodies to sleep. 

---will continue---