#sorry. babbling. the good news is I wrote something. everybody clap

[shibaraki]

you know I thought this divorcee kuroo fic was going to be depressing but I’m starting to have doubts

[rxdonmyledger]

Writer’s Block.

Summary: In which Sebastian and you have the same writing course and you deal with a terrible writer’s block. Will he be able to help you?

Author’s Note: Terrible summary, I know. I hope you all like this and feedback would be really appreciated. Don’t worry. There will be a second part to it! Let’s see how it ends.

Words: 2,034.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader.

Warnings: None.

You groaned and crossed out the words in your notebook, running your hands through your hair. You sighed and straightened your back, looking defiantly at the blank paper in front of you, laying on the wooden table. Your hand went to pick the pen up, bringing it close to the paper. You fingers started to shake and you tossed the pen, grunting.

This was your routine. It had been this way for two weeks now.

You’d sit down on the table. Coffee? Prepared. Notebook? Open. Spotify? Turned on your calming playlist. You loved writing with music. It calmed your heartbeats and isolated you from the outside world. The noisy and busy sounds of New York. You would take a sip and made your neck crack before taking the pen and…

Nothing.

The absolute nothing.

And empty paper screaming, shouting, asking to be filled with words. But your mind seemed to have forgotten the whole vocabulary you knew. And it was frustrating. The impending urge of creating a new world grew up wider and you couldn’t contain it anymore.

You had tried everything. You had left your notebook apart for a few days, watching series or reading. You had practised yoga and had gone out with your friends to clear your mind. Yet, nothing came.

Your eyes lifted from the blank page to the clock hanging from the wall and you huffed. Your writing class would start in thirty minutes and you needed something. Whatever. Even if it was terrible, at least it meant you were writing.

Ten minutes later, you refused to try and stood up, hurrying up to prepare yourself. You took one of your Captain America t-shirts, a pair of black jeans and your blue high top converse. You packed your notebook and agenda inside your shoulder bag. You pet your cat, caressing her head before taking the keys and exited your apartment.

Luckily, you were only five minutes away from the building where you assisted to the courses. It was on top of a coffee shop where writers reunited to create or to share their experiences. You greeted Anna, the barista, who approached you with a tray under her arm.

“Hey, what’s up, Y/N? It’s been a while”

“Yeah, I’ve been busy, you know. Working and so”

“How are you doing?”

“Terribly. Writer’s block” You specified at Anna’s frowning grimace. She nodded and made a gesture with her hand, meaning that she understood. Her partner shouted her something and she looked at you while walking inside the building again.

“It’s been a pleasure. I hope we can meet soon. You need to get out”

You lifted your thumb and hurried inside the hall, running to the stairs that led to the room where the course was taught. You had met Anna during one of your days in the coffee shop, trying to write the next New York Times best-seller.

But it was useless.

You had wanted to bang your head on the table to see if something’s good was going to get out of it, but you decided to do it at home, since you were in a public place. Anna had approached you with your order and had started to talk to you. You had moved to New York recently and she was the only friend you had until you got some more in different places. Your workplace, the gym…

You bumped into something hard and you fell on the ground, whimpering at the pain in your lower back. You hissed and a voice made you look up. A pair of blue eyes were looking back at you and a large hand was extended. You took it and the man helped you stand up.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you”

“Nah, I’m fine. I’m quite clumsy so” you shrugged smiling and shook your clothes to clean them from the dust. He chuckled and nodded, crossing his arms. He was wearing a white shirt and a pair of light blue jeans with black sneakers.

“I’m Sebastian. Nice shirt, by the way” You shook his hands and smiled at him.

“Thank you, it’s…” you stopped yourself and lifted your head to observe him better.

Of course he liked the t-shirt.

Congratulations, Y/N. You had just bumped into Sebastian Stan. You opened your mouth and started babbling incoherent sentences and he chuckled again, placing his hands on your shoulders, looking at you.

“It’s fine, okay?” You nodded and followed him inside the room, where your mates were already talking in small groups. You looked over your shoulder and grinned at him. “I’m Y/N, by the way”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl” he mumbled and you felt your body heating up. You tried to act cool and sat down in your usual seat, noticing Sebastian sitting by your side. “Is this your first class?”

“Oh, no. I’ve been here for…”you bit your lip and started to count mentally. “Three weeks now”

Sebastian hustled and nodded, taking a black notebook out of his bag. You imitated him, placing your agenda and notebook on the table and taking your pens. Sebastian chuckled and took one, observing and writing in the corner of a blank page with it.

“You are like…the Mary Poppins of this stuff,” he said with a soft smile on his features and you huffed, rolling your eyes. Everybody told you the same when they observed as you took your pens, stickers, and notebooks.

“Shut up” you said, nudging at him. “Being a tidy person in your life helps you. At least that’s what I say to myself. ” you muttered under your breath and Sebastian roared in laughter, lifting his hands.

“Hey, it’s fine. I find it cute”

You huffed and turned to your teacher, who had cleared his throat to catch your attention. He greeted you and gave the opportunity to those students who wanted to read their stories to the class. You shifted in your chair, uncomfortable and Sebastian leant against you, whispering in your ear.

“Smart girl forgot her homework? What about tidy thing?” You glared at him and he smiled, observing as Alycia, one of your partners and friend, started her story about a little girl who gets lost in the forest and discovers a new world.

“I’m having a terrible writer’s block, okay?” He turned to you, frowning.

“I’m sorry then. That sucks” You could see he meant it. He cleared his throat and played with the pen between his long fingers as if he was thinking of something. “I know we just met but…”

He was interrupted by the applauses you gave to Alycia, whose story was incredibly beautiful and appealing. You knew she’ll get to be a recognised writer someday. The teachers rubbed his hands and smiled at you.

“Okay, guys. Now, I want you to work on this. I’ll write a quote from a book on the whiteboard and you must write a short drabble in which the quote is introduced. At the beginning, the middle, I don’t care but the quote must be there”

He turned and took the black marker, writing the sentence on it. Your eyes grew up wider and you took one of your pens immediately. Your eyes wandered over the words written there.

“I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir. Because I am not myself, you see?”

You recognised it. It belonged to one of your favourite books ever: Alice in Wonderland. That quote sent you to your childhood, where you were sitting on the carpet, reading the book your mother had bought you.

“We’re all mad here” Sebastian whispered by your side and you looked at him, astonished. He grinned and winked at you, starting to write. He had a beautiful handwriting.

“How do you know?”

“I love Alice in Wonderland” he stated, looking at you right into the eye. “Besides, I played the Hatter once”

Your mouth fell open and you turned to your paper, feeling as your lips twitched into a smile. You started to write, feeling something you thought it was forgotten. Words flooded the spaces as you filled the page with a story about a girl who was learning to use magic in a Victorian London. You could imagine the little girl, her dress and her face as she explained to the Master of a magic world what had happened.

“Who wants to read it?” Your teacher said once the time was over. Your hand lifted faster than you’ve ever done and you stood up, noticing all the eyes fixed on you. You turned to see Sebastian and he smiled reassuringly at you. You nodded at him and started to read, your tongue moving as you pronounced the words.

For the first time in weeks, you felt good about something you had written. You felt as if you were a writer again. Finally producing something. You smiled once you had finished and your teacher uncrossed his arms, clapping at you. You sighed in relief and watched as Alycia gave you the thumbs up.

“Beautiful, Y/N. You should be less shy and read aloud more. You have a rich style. It reminds me to the Brontë sisters”

You sat down, feeling your cheeks burning, repressing your urge of squealing like a scholar at the compliment. The Bronte Sisters were some of your favourite writers among others. You felt a hand on your shoulder, caressing your back.

“Well done. You didn’t tell me you wrote this good” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“Charming”

“Hey, I mean it” He replied with a serious face and you nodded, muttering a “Thank you” under your breath while Sam, one of your partners, read his story.

Time passed and you listened to everybody’s stories. Of course, nobody was forced to read them, but it was better if you did. It was a way to improve your skills. And it helped you to deal with constructive criticism. When Sebastian stood up, you noticed he was shaking and terribly nervous. He, Sebastian Stan, the man who played Bucky Barnes in front of a camera, was nervous of a group of writers.

You closed your eyes as his voice read the story. It was a fairy tale, beautiful and it captured you. He was made to read novels, you thought, lifting your head to observe his lips moving as he read. Your mind wondered how it felt to kiss him, but you tried to suppress those thoughts. Once he had finished, you clapped and smiled at him.

“Well done. You should be a storyteller. You have a great voice” you told him and he chuckled.

“I was gonna say the same to you”

“I’ve decide for you to create a project in pairs” The teacher said at the end of the class and you frowned. You’d never had group projects. “You had to build a story together. A short story. About 15,000 words” He smiled when you all started to whisper, shaking your heads in disbelief. “You’ll present it at the end of the course. You have two months, so” He clapped and laughed, watching your faces. “Guys, some people participate in the NaNoWriMo contest and write a novel in a month. C’mon. It’ll be fun”

“What is is about?”

“Whatever you want”

“Great” you huffed while keeping your belongings inside the bag, placing it on your shoulder. Sebastian was waiting for you patiently, his hands on his pockets. He was biting his lip.

“Do you want to do it with me?” He let out and you frowned, looking at his blue eyes. His cheeks turned red and he started to stammer. “I mean. If you want”

“Uhhh, sure! Why not?” You said and noticed the relief painted in his features. He smiled and made a gesture for you to exit the room first. “What did you want to say?”

“Oh! I was gonna ask you if you wanted to have some coffee”

“Well, now we’ll work together, sure” You smiled and extended your hand. Sebastian shook it and you chucked. “Nice to have meet you, Sebastian”

“Me too!” he shouted as he saw you disappearing down the stairs. “I can’t wait to work with you!”