#sorry. ated all the tags for this post💔
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helmetkeeper · 1 month ago
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lovecore banner & graphic for scout !!
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banner credits
one, two, three, four. psd.
graphic credits
one, two, three, four, five. frame. (psd used is the same as the one on the banners!)
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lewisvinga · 11 months ago
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because i liked a boy , part ii. | carlos sainz x fem! reader
part one.
summary: carlos sees how y/n is thriving after their break up and he couldn’t help but feel regret, especially after seeing how she moved on.
fc; nicki nicole
warnings; cursing , reader is implied to be a spanish speaker, uhhh idk what else
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs
note; requested ! this is set over a span of a couple of months btw ! this is a long one for me icl
masterlist !
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liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and others
yourusername: por las noches [at night] remix out now!
thank you pesopluma for giving me the chance to feature on this track, had so much fun collabing with you!
tagged; pesopluma
username: OMG MOTHER
username: this song is so….💔💔
username: her voice + peso’s voice 😫
username: yall think it’s abt carlos???
pesopluma: fue tan divertido trabajar contigo, hasta la próxima! 🖤😁 [it was so fun working with you, until next time!]
yourusername: gracias por darme la oportunidad 🥹🖤 [thank you for giving me the opportunity]
username: omg wasn’t she rumored to date him before carlos??
username: they just shared a mutual friend 😭
username: ‘solita me dejarás’ [you’ll leave me alone] was 100% aimed at carlos for not defending her 🙁
username: the emotions in her voice, i just know that break up hurt her
lilymhe: idk what you’re saying but your pretty voice makes up for it 😫🫶
yourusername: love uuuuuu
username: when she said ‘todo lo que yo te di y todo lo que me diste, fue pa' nada’ [everything i gave to you and everything you gave to me, was for nothing] i felt that shit in MY SOUL😖😖
username: omg omg omg carlos liked!!!
username: my roman empire is cary/n
username: carlos still liking her posts and following her 🥹🥹
username: “voy a preguntar por qué todos nuestros sentimientos se quedaron en ayer” [i’m going to ask why all of our feelings stayed in yesterday] has me in my FEELS, miss y/n you ate w that🤒
alexandrasaintmleux: amazing! always so talented 🩷💐
yourusername: thank u alex 🥹🫶
username: my ferrari wags💔💔
username: this song seems like the last goodbye to carlos tbh, like she’s letting alllll of her feelings out before moving on bc in her recents she looks so happy🥹🥹🥹🥹 liked by yourusername !
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liked by carlossainz55, carmenmmundt, and others!
yourusername: “ALMA”, my first album, is finally out! and if that wasn’t enough, official dates for ALMA tour is also out! presale link in my bio. 🖤🖤🖤
username: HELLOOOO?????
username: IM SLDKSKDO
username: trust I WILL BE GOING TO MADRID TO SEE HER
carmenmmundt: i better get front row seats in madrid!!
yourusername: i’ll get them for you #trust
username: anybody notice how the opening show is in madrid ??? coincidentally before the start of the season??
username: i noticed too omg, i’m convinced the tour was planned before her and carlos broke up so he could see her🥹
username: carlos liked this post too!
lilymhe: OH EM GEEEEE IM SO EXCITEDDDDDD liked by yourusername!
username: working extra shifts rn
carlossainz55: felicitaciones! [congratulations] knew you could do it! liked by yourusername!
username: cary/n💔💔😭😭
username: IM SO HYPED FOR THIS
username: so you’re telling me we might hear ‘because i liked a boy’ and ‘por las noches’ LIVE???!!
yourusername: maybeeeeeee
alexandrasaintmleux: already ready for when they officially go on sale! making charles also use his phone and laptop😌😌
yourusername: alexxxxx🥹🥹🫶🫶
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carlos congratulations on the album and the tour, i know how hard you’ve been working on both.
y/n thank you, carlos. yeah, i have been working hard despite certain bumps in the road 😊
carlos listen, i’m so sorry. i should’ve defended you more. it was my mistake and i was blind and stupid and i lost you. i lost an amazing girl.
y/n yeah! you were stupid
y/n i was getting death threats and i was told that it was ‘complicated’ to make a post!
y/n but it’s fine, i’m over it.
carlos well i’m not over you.
y/n deal with it, carlos sainz. you messed up. you lost me.
carlos just give me one more chance, por favor, mi amor. [please, my love] te lo juro, [i swear to you] i won’t fuck it up. please.
y/n no. i have a tour to prepare for. goodbye, carlos.
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liked by carlossainz55, carmenmmundt, and others
yourusername: MADRIDDDDD❤️🇪🇸 thank you for creating happier memories for me in this beautiful city. you’re all so special to me🖤🖤
username: ‘happier memories’ rmbr when she’d always be seen in madrid w carlos 🥹
username: OOMF ON TWT SAID SHE SAW CARLOS THERE W CARMEN AND GEORGE AND A MYSTERY GIRL
carmenmmundt: i think i lost my voice from screaming so much🤣 george is even worse!! but amazing like always 💞💞
georgerussell63: broken spanish and don’t have a clue what you said, but i somehow lost my voice
yourusername: it means sm to me that you both enjoyed 🥹🖤
username: MOTHER HAS MOTHERED
username: buenos días y k vivan los mujeres😍 [good morning and long live women]
username: el mejor concierto de mi vida😫😫 [the best concert of my life]
username: streets are saying carlos was there w another girl????
username: the way you guys stopped hating on her the moment she ended things w carlos, you guys are sick!!
username: literally, she was always that girl but since she was dating their fave……
username: idc i never liked her
landonorris: womp womp!
landonorris: waiting for u to come to england
yourusername: soooooon😁
alexandrasaintmleux: so excited for the monaco concert 🩷🩷
yourusername: can’t wait to see you and charles!🫶
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liked by carlossainz55, pesopluma, and others
yourusername: special guest in cdmx [mexico city] tonight 🙈 tqm [ilysm] 🖤🖤
tagged; pesopluma
pesopluma: MI REINAAAAAA😍😍😍 [my queen]
pesopluma: la vida es mejor contigoooooo, tqm❤️❤️ [life is better with you, ilysm]
yourusername: 🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶🖤🖤🖤
username: the way he looks at her, i am unwell
username: she looks so happy w him🙁🙁
username: friends to lovers is REALLL
username: mis faves
username: cdmx concert was the best one
username: POR LAS NOCHES LIVE>>
lilymhe: cuties🫶 2x date next time ur in town??
yourusername: of course 😖
username: not carlos liking 😭
username: wonder how carlos feels realizing he fumbled a bad bitch like y/n for not defending her online
username: the way peso pluma said ‘i’d defend her with my life, that’s how much i love her’ during his lil speech during the concert was so🥹🥹
username: i’m so happy that she looks so happy and relieved, AND THE COMMENT SECTION HAS NO TOXIC FANS!!
username: 😖😖😖😖😖😫😫😫💞
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carlos so you’re dating your ‘friend’ now huh
y/n weird i don’t remember asking.🤣
y/n he was there for me when i was getting death threats and being called a slut for nothing. he was there to comfort me when i cried over the thousands of hate comments under every post.
y/n something you never did.
carlos wait until he finds another girl and will dump you. you know how it is when people get that famous that fast. he won’t treat you well.
y/n HA what a joke. very funny, sainz.
y/n weren’t you the one to bring a girl to MY concert?? but i’m the bad guy for moving on and dating someone else???
y/n you’re pathetic, sainz.
carlos admit it, you know i’m right
y/n fuck off, he treats me better than you ever did
carlos sure. sure he does.
y/n move on, sainz. move on.
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liked by lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, and others!
yourusername: princess treatment only 💞🥹 muchas gracias, mi rey🖤 [thank you very much, my king]
tagged; pesopluma
pesopluma: lo mejor para usted, mi reina❤️ [the best for you, my queen]
yourusername: mi amor 🥹🫶
username: literal goals
username: mis padres
username: a relationship like them pls
username: the way she went from carlos to peso pluma>>>>
username: SHE SAID PRINCESS TREATMENT ONLY ‼️‼️ WE ONLY WANT MEN WHO DEFEND US‼️‼️ liked by yourusername !
username: she looks sooooo happy n free i love it
username: as much as i miss cary/n, peso pluma really does treat her like a queen
lilymhe: ITS WHAT YOU DESERVE BBY!!!!! liked by yourusername !
username: oh i just know lily knows the real shit abt carlos and y/n
lilymhe: i am neither confirming not denying…
landonorris: cool but can u tell him to get on his pc and join the game🙄🙄🙄🙄
pesopluma: on it 🫡
charles_leclerc: WAIT FOR ME
username: wait omg he’s friends w the drivers????
username: duh, she’s besties w the wags , ofc he’s gonna know their bfs
alexandrasaintmleux: gorgeous gorgeous girls date wonderful amazing guys who make them happy💐🩷🩷
yourusername: well that also makes you a gorgeous gorgeous girl! ilysm🫶🖤🥹
username: wonder how carlos feels knowing he lost y/n to a guy who treats her better AND is friends w his friends 😭😭
username: if i was him i’d be sooo pissed 😭
username: imagine if he was begging for her to take him back
yourusername: lol imagine
1K notes · View notes
tonysbed · 10 months ago
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bad idea, right?
Charles x Fem!ex!reader
Summary: Charles and you break up but just can’t stay away from each other.
A/n: Another Charles social media au 🤭
Also, I love Alex so no hate to my girl okay 😞😘
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E!News
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liked by f1fan, y/nbabe and 729.689 others
E!News After Break up with long term boyfriend, Y/n was spotted in Harry Styles car crying. Find out how the it couple broke up in the link in our bio!
user727 nooooo
userboo EXCUSE ME
Y/nbabe WHAT?WITH WHO? IM SORRY
leclercfan16 Broke up and hopped onto the next guy. What a whore
y/nmywife shut the fuck up.Y/n and harry were friends BEFORE she dated charles
user57 dude what
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E!News
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liked by f1fan, y/nbabe and 968.629 others
E!News Charles Leclerc was spotted with a new girl just 3 weeks after the break up with his long term girlfriend Y/n Y/l/n. Was this the reason for their sudden split? Click the link in our bio to find out!
y/niswifey the resemblance between y/n and his new girl💔
user46 He’s got a type..
user19 this hurts more than my own break up istg
Y/ncharlesendgame god lord
User59 I just wanna cry.
User70 who’s she?
User402 This hurts but the fire album we’re gonna get gives me hope for SOMETHING
user29 She’s gonna roast him😭
y/nmylove oh he’s so done lol
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y/ny/l/n
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liked by taylorswift, arthur_leclerc and 2,380,296 others
y/ny/l/n Burned.Out now on all streaming platforms
tagged harrystyles
taylorswift ���❤️
liked by y/ny/l/n
zendaya amazing ❤️
y/n/l/n love you 🐨
y/niswifey OH ITS GOING DOWN
user68 “Your new girl is my clone” MOTHER OMG
userlol she knew she ate
y/nbabe I mean they do look a lot alike.. But we haven’t seen them since like 4 months 👀
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E!News
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liked by f1fan, y/niswifey and 729.528 others
E!News Charles Leclerc and Y/n Y/l/n were spotted after one of his races, 11 months after their break up! Are we witnessing a comeback? Click the link in our bio for more!
y/niswifey pleaseeeeee omggg
f1.cl16 I want them back so baddddd
user89 Id sell my soul to know what they were talking about
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y/n posted a story
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y/ny/l/n
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liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 2,399,268 others
y/ny/l/n are you ready, nyc?
tagged charles_leclerc
comments are turned off
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y/nupdates
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liked by y/niswifey, cl16fan and 280.791 others
y/nupdates CHARLES AND CARLOS AT Y/N‘S SHOW TONIGHT OMGGGGG
y/niswifey are they back together now? Are they not?😭
user89 maybe we’ll find out tonight 😦
use.r29 His mom and arthur were also spotted there😭
y/niswifey Oh she be having a family reunion 👀
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y/n
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liked by charles_leclerc, taylorswift and 1.372.829 others
y/n love performing w ya 🩷
harrystyles me too👀🩷
user68 what’s happening? I know he is co writer but AHHEEJWVEJWFZ
user58 I like them but i need charles and y/n back istg
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y/nupdates
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liked by fifan, y/niswifey and 639.369 others
y/nupdates Y/n was spotted being super cozy with her co-writer and friend Harry Styles
user68 WHAT
y/nishot help, I'm still at the restaurant
user57 nonononono, MOTHER WHY
user29 I love harry but i just don't think he's a good fit for her
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charles_leclerc
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liked by carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 599.268 others
charles_leclerc Im no longer your muse 🛥️
arthur_leclerc 🔥
user18 why do I have a feeling the caption is directed 🌚
y/nbabe first it seems as if he and Y/n get back tg and then she gets w harry.Im so confused rn😭
f1fannnn she never said that they’re back together 🤷🏼‍♀️
y/nbabe still feels weird smh
-
Part 2 will be uploaded soon!
164 notes · View notes
blacksapphhicmaddonna · 1 year ago
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CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.
a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖
its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.
anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)
✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah
✮ word count: 11,193
✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics
✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3
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Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.
A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.
Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.
"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.
"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.
Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 
"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"
"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."
"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.
"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.
"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.
"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."
Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.
"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"
Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.
"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"
Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.
"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"
"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"
"You know that's not true!"
"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"
"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"
"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.
"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.
"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"
"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.
"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.
Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.
"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"
Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.
"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."
Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.
"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."
Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.
"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."
"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.
"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."
"I have always heard you, Riri."
Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.
"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.
"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.
"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.
"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."
"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.
"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."
"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.
"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."
Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.
"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.
"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.
"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.
"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"
"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."
Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.
"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"
"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"
"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.
"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"
"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."
"What the fu-"
"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."
Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 
"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.
"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."
Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.
"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"
Griot took a moment again before answering.
"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"
Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.
"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."
"As you wish, Miss Riri."
Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.
"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"
"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."
"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."
"As you wish, Miss Riri."
"Thank you, Griot."
Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 
“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 
“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”
“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.
“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 
“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 
Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 
“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”
“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 
“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”
“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”
“Perfect. Please contact her now.”
“Yes, Miss Riri.”
“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.
Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.
“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 
No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.
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Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 
It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 
"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 
"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 
"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 
"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"
"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 
"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 
"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.
"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 
"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."
"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 
"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"
"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 
"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 
"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"
"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"
"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.
"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"
"There's a next time too?"
"Well, if you'd li-"
"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."
Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 
Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 
Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 
She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 
The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.
"Williams?"
"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.
"Yes, well I was-"
"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 
She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 
"In the neighborhood?"
"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.
This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 
"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 
"One moment please."
"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 
"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 
"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 
"Those things get cooler every time."
"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.
"So-"
"I do-"
"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 
Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 
"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 
"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."
"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 
"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 
"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 
"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.
"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 
"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"
"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.
"Then you didn't want to?"
"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 
"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 
"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.
"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 
"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 
"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.
"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 
Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 
"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."
"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 
Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.
That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.
"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."
"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.
"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 
"I heard you. I'm coming."
She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 
"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 
Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 
Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 
That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 
With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 
She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 
She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 
She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 
"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"
Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 
"Patch me through, please."
She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.
"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 
"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.
And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.
On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.
And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.
And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 
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As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 
Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 
She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 
"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.
"I know what she means to you, you know."
Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 
"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.
"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.
"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.
"Do you think you will ever love like that?"
"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.
"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 
As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 
"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 
"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 
"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."
Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 
Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 
"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 
"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."
"Will she know where to find us?"
"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 
"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."
Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 
Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.
"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."
Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.
"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."
"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."
"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."
"Thank you."
"Thank you, small girl."
"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 
"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.
"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 
She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.
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🖤
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trevuorzegras · 10 months ago
Text
━╋ MY RIGHT TO BE HELLISH
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jealous by nick jonas
summary: In which famous actress y/n y/l/n was seen at a Canucks game, which sparks rumors. (part 1/4)
pairings: quinn hughes x actress!reader.
platonic!jack hughes x reader. social media au
faceclaim: dove cameron
next part
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newestupdates
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newestupdates: Actress y/n y/l/n spotted at the lastest Canuck’s vs Ducks game wearing an old Quinn Hughes jersey! Opinions?
tagged: yourusername
liked by canucks, njdevils, and more
user1: i say we i don’t know, leave her alone and let her live her life?? 😭
liked by yourusername.
yourusername: i was invited to the game, so i attended, i was also PROVIDED with the jersey. don’t stretch it.
↳ canucks: thank you for attending! we are sorry this got out of hand!
↳ yourusername: not your fault what’s so ever! just things being blown out of proportion canucks
user2: wait her and quinn would be cute??
↳ user3: he plays hockey, and she acts 💀 they’d never have time to themselves.
user4: you guys post anything at this point. y/n can’t even go to a hockey game in PEACE ☹️
user5: puck bunny
↳ yourusername: i’ve watched hockey since i was a kid, i am not a puck bunny, and can 100% guarantee i know more about the sport than you do. thank you for your input though, johnathan!
↳ user6: she ate i fear. (i do not fear. we all knew she would) yourusername
user7: _quinnhughes
yourusername
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yourusername: thank you @canucks for the amazing opportunity! i loved every minute of this game. and we won 4-0?? 🤔 #gocanucks
liked by canucks, lhughes_06, and more
njdevils: come to a devils game next? 🫣
↳ yourusername: lmk when and where & im there!
user8: i know you guys see luke lurking in her likes. i cannot be the only one 😭😭
↳ user9: thought i was going INSANE STOP
lhughes_06: _quinnhughes HELLO? YOU WERE IN THE SAME ARENA AS Y/N Y/L/N AND DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME?
↳ _quinnhughes: i have no idea who this is luke
↳ yourusername: slightly offended, quinnifer _quinnhughes
jackhughes: yeah come on over to a devils game, we’ll actually acknowledge you
↳ yourusername: like i said, when & where and i’m there jack (:
user10: Y/N GOING TO A DEVILS GAME
user11: how does quinn NOT know y/n
↳ lhughes_06: my thoughts exactly
user12: lukey boy is LURKING 👀
canucks: we loved having you! hope to see you again very soon, y/n!!
↳ yourusername: i love whoever runs this account
user13: the way she didn’t tag anyone in these pictures 😭
↳ yourusername: they don’t need tags (:
↳ user14: LMFAOOA SHE SAID FUCK THEM HOCKEY PLAYERS FR yourusername
liked by yourusername.
njdevils
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njdevils: since q. hughes didn’t appreciate ms. y/l/n. these hughes’ will 😈 #GONJDEVILS
tagged: l_hughes, yourusername, jackhughes
liked by jackhughes, yourusername, and others
user15: DEVILS AND CANUCKS BEEF??
↳ user16: more like jack & luke vs quinn beef 😭
yourusername: was an honor! i absolutely adore the jacket, thank you guys so much. <3
↳ canucks: the betrayal.
↳ yourusername: quinn didn’t even know who i was, do you guys even love me 💔 canucks
user17: the picture of her and jack GUYS STOP
↳ user18: why do i ship them.. 🙃
↳ user19: no i completely get it. user18
↳ user20: no?? they make no sense.. user19
jackhughes: YUP WE LOVE AND APPRECIATE Y/N OVER HERE canucks _quinnhughes can you guys relate?? 🤔 didn’t think so
↳ canucks: you are EVIL jack hughes.
_quinnhughes: i didn’t know a girl once now my team is beefing with my brothers’ team. great.
↳ yourusername: i apologize, i tried to tell them to be nice ☹️
↳ _quinnhughes: not your fault my brothers are evil yourusername
user21: okay but the jacket is fire
↳ yourusername: exactly! never taking it off
↳ canucks: traitor! yourusername
user22: jack and luke look so GOOD
↳ user23: LITERALLY WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT IT??
user24: jack and y/n, quinn and y/n that, WHAT ABOUT LUKE AND Y/N GUYS HEAR ME OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
↳ _quinnhughes: she’s too pretty for either of them
*this comment has been deleted.*
user25: I KNOW YOU GUYS SAW THAT??
↳ user26: ARE WE TRIPPING????????
next part
turning this into a story, how we feel? 🫣 it’s definitely going to be a short one, i’ll possibly go longer ones in the near future, but not right now! feel free to request anything!
check out my navigation, here!
check out my nhl masterlist, here!
670 notes · View notes