#sorry to be insane but the azure moon has everything i ever wanted in a story laced with grief and tragedy

[finnicksghost]

dimitri and felix in fire emblem: three houses [azure moon] / boot theory by richard siken

[sporadiclilbook]

May I request some hcs of Dimitri and a caring! Reader please? like they think he's just their friend and is looking out for him? Like sending him food, asking if he's okay and all that stuff, only because he saved their life.

Sure can anon! I hope you like this

Yan!Dimitri x Caring!reader

Pre-TS

Let's just say, as a fellow Blue Lions student, he saved you during a mission.

Immediately you started to feel like you owed him a favour. Even though he said he's just looking out for his fellow student, and in a way, his citizen. So you decided to become sorta like his unofficial retainer. Kinda like Dedue but without the fighting.

You started to notice how he is tense all the time. So you started to ask everyday how is he doing. It's a simple and small gesture but he's glad that someone cares for him. Especially when that someone is you.

Whenever he had his headaches, you would fetch him some remedy from Professor Manuela and when the whole Flame Emperor thing happened you were there to listen to him.

Were it not for you, those voices in his head would've made him go insane so early. With all of the things he went through, your presence felt like a saving grace from the Goddess.

Felix, knowing how unhinged he is, warns you to not get too close to the boar prince. You brushed it off as Felix being rude as usual but that was your mistake.

You've became one of the people Dimitri care about. With everyone that he has lost, he can't even bear the thought of losing you. He wants to be with you. Or to be clearer, he's a fool in love for you.

But one day he hear Sylvain talking to you during training. He was ready to belittle Sylvain for disturbing you during time when he shouldn't but he can't help but eavesdrop a bit.

"So, (Y/N), you and your highness?"

"What? Sylvain, no! I only see him as a friend...."

"Then why are you so caring for him? Making sure he's okay and everything....Come on there has to be something."

"Because he saved my life and I intend to return the favour Sylvain! It's the least I can do."

Hearing this made him quite sad. You only saw him as a friend. A friend that saved your life. He wanted to be more than that! He wanted to be the one you love and cherish. To be the one by your side for as long as time allows it. Because you're the only one who can tame this beastful thoughts of his.

But he's not easily deterred. He will not give up until he has you. He will do whatever he can. He'll slowly spend more time with you, guilt tripping you a bit in the process. You wouldn't want to abandon him, right? Do you not feel grateful for the time he saved you?

He's even more protective of you in the battle. Dedue has been at his side but now he also has you. You try your best to help him and in turn he tries harder to protect you. Quite easy with his inhuman strength. Your kind-caring heart is no place for such a morbid atmosphere.

Your fellow Blue Lions are.....quite amused at his blatant crush. They'll try to tell you (Except Felix, he's the only correct one telling you to keep your distance) that he clearly has a thing for you but your answer remains the same, you only saw him as a friend. But soon enough, he'll change your mind.

"Thank you for staying by my side. I can't possibly imagine a life without you."

Post-TS below (Azure Moon spoilers)

Ah, this is where things gets more awry. With his sanity barely intact and the war going ablaze across Fódlan, he can't help but descend further. One of the thing that was still pounding some sense into him into staying alive was the fact you were possibly still out there. He won't believe you're dead until he saw your own rotting corpse.

But as the 5 years slowly goes by he can't help but think you're dead. Because he wasn't there for you. Too weak. Too late. Your voice haunts him. In his sleepless nights he kept muttering apologies to the ones that was dead, especially to you.

"Where were you Dimitri?"

"My path ended....because of her...

you know what you must do, don't you?"

"Avenge my death.....spill Edelgard's blood."

"Of course (Y/N), anything....for you...my beloved."

After the resurface of Professor Byleth he was hellbent on making Edelgard pay for your 'death'. Even if it's the last thing he does. But it all changed when all of his classmates reunited. He felt his dead heart twitch at the sight of you. Alive and well.

After disposing of the vermins that plagued the monastery, suffice to say he was quite scared to meet you again. He's a monster covered in blood but you were still ever the same caring person you were once was.

But you approached him anyway, worried about his well-being. He wanted to tell you to go away but he seems to be unable to say it. The words was stuck in his throat. He missed your benevolence so much.

He allowed you to continue as normal. Bringing him food, checking in on him. Honestly, Professor Byleth was grateful to have you around. The man won't budge at all from his sulkings but he seems to listen to you a bit. Even managing to drag him to the dining hall sometimes.

Back then he's afraid of showing his ruthless side but now he's basically putting it on display. His enemies crushed. Your assailants obliterated. He wanted to show you that he was capable of protecting you. Of course you were quite shocked at the display of his monstrous strength but it was war. And yet you can't help but feel sorry for the enemies who were unfortunate enough to cross his path.

But with time he slowly started to heal. After the death of Rodrigue, he becomes less bloodthirsty. Even more so with the return of Dedue (unless you didn't do the Duscur Paralogue). After finally taking down Edelgard, he can finally confess. And he won't take a no.

Courting after gruelling war isn't really the best time so he'll take it slow. Until the moment when he confessed, you will have no other choice but to accept. Even if you deny it.

You still saw him as a friend until today? What about those memories of you fighting together? The moments where you cared for him and when he protected you? Please just love him.

You better not love anyone else because they will end up dead somewhere. If you still reject, albeit with a different reason, he will still try.

Oh, it's because he's a royalty and you're a commoner? Fret not he's the King of Faerghus now, YOUR king. The people can't disobey him now.

Hm? You're from a small noble house? Then perfect! None will ask why he wants to marry you, it'll go smoothly.

Aside from that, the amount of PEER PRESSURE of people telling that you two does look good together is also one of the factor. Can't you see the king is in love with you? Surely you don't want to break his poor heart! He's been through a lot you know.

In the end, no matter what, you will end up marrying him. But he won't let you out of the castle ground at all. He's afraid that something might happen to you. At least you can still enjoy a fresh breath of air in the gardens even if there was some handpicked guards watching you.

You were his everything. You were his fuel to live on. He's not the very best with affection but he loved to hold you close to him. It gave him some reassurance that he didn't fail to save you. The Goddess gave him a second chance and he swore not to failed it.

"I'm glad you're here with me, my beloved."

[msbluebell]

Happy Birthday Dimitri

Dimitri is an important character to me.

I didn’t expect him to be. Not to me, personally. When I went into the game, I expected that he wouldn’t be my favorite. I figured he’d be the tragic fallen hero, but I didn’t think he’d hit so many buttons for me.

People like fallen heroes, and I do too, but they’re not usually my favorite characters. When I picked up this game on my way home from a trip, I looked at the cover and thought, “Claude is going to be my favorite.”

But somehow, someway, this boy hit home for me.

Maybe it’s because we get to see him before he fell apart.

Well, alright, this isn’t accurate. He was never all that put together when we meet him in game. He already had a darkness in him, and he already experienced tragedy that would lead to his downfall later. We met this boy, and I didn’t think too much of him. He was the most polite, and sweet, and those were my thoughts. My first playthrough was of Black Eagles house. Now, you all know I nearly didn’t pick the game up again I disliked Black Eagles so much. But Dimitri wasn’t why. When I killed Dimitri in the game all I thought was, “What a shame. I’m sorry guy. You seemed nice enough. I’d spare you if I could.” I’m not going to lie, I felt like his anger in CF was justified even before I cared about him. But I didn’t expect the sheer depts I would come to care for him when I was playing that first route. I obviously played church route next, since for the most part I had half got through the playthrough. And in that one I wanted to help him, but couldn’t and I thought again, “Ah, what a shame. Can’t save you here either.” Except this time we got a little more. The ghost scene got to me. It showed me his guilt, and that’s when I started paying more attention to Dimitri. I had intended to save Golden Deer route for last, but after CF and SS, I thought I deserved self care, and went with Claude. Though this time I was a little regretful I’d leave Dimitri behind. Because I understood what tragedy befalls him when you don’t choose him. Because I know that this sweet boy becomes so angry, and so regretful, and I wished there was a way to save him. Claude was a great character, and I adored him, and I adored Golden Deer. It was the break I needed after CF and SS. I loved them, and I loved their themes, and I loved their energy. I was convinced that they would be my forever favorites. My only real regret was that Dimitri died again. By this time it seemed almost horrific what was going on with Dimitri, and he somehow seemed worse off in this route than the other two. He was crazy, downright insane, and somehow lost an eye. And it was a shame. Something had obviously happened to him to drive him even further over the wall, but I didn’t feel too bad, because while it was tragic what happened to him, there wasn’t anything I could do. So I decide to finish up the game, and I’m not over invested. I like it, but I don’t think it’s going to be my fandom. It’s fun, I enjoyed it. That’s it. I’ll just finish it off and move on. Then I played Blue Lions. Dimitri had no right to do this to me. He had no right to come in and hit all my personal buttons, and make me care so much. I went into Blue Lions already caring a bit about Dimitri, but I didn’t expect him to claw at my heart the way he did. There’s a tragedy to Dimitri that spoke to me more than Claude, or Edelgard, or Rhea. It was more personal, it was more rough, it attacked a raw nerve in me I thought was healed but I suppose never did quite go away. Some people have asked me why I don’t like Edelgard, considering she’s an abuse survivor and I, also, am an abuse survivor. I think, with people who ask me this, they’re looking more at what caused the need to cope rather than the coping itself. Edelgard and I have suffered more similar abuses than Dimitri and myself, though I wouldn’t say my abuse and hers are the same at all. Still, for me, I think it’s the way we deal with the aftermath of our trauma that speaks to me more than the trauma itself. I didn’t like Edelgard, because even before the twist that she was the invading force in the game, I found her abrasive, dismissive, and unintentionally cruel where she was trying to be empathetic.  I just don’t like people who are sharp, I suppose. I never have.  I think that’s ultimately why I warmed up to Dimitri so quickly. He was kind. He is kind. He is so kind, and empathetic, that I adored him right away. I warmed up to him even more quickly than Claude, who I went in wanting and expecting to  be my favorite. He’s kind, and trying to be kind. But it doesn’t always work. I’ve got something called Hyper Empathy Syndrome. It’s a think, and it’s not really federally recognized, but my therapist says it’s a good way to describe what my issues are. I empathize too much. And you wouldn’t think that was a bad thing, but it is. It causes me untold anxiety, and I hyper empathize with people to the point where it’s almost hard to get mad at them, and I keep not wanting to let them down, and I feel guilty if I say no to them and it upsets them even a little. And, overall, it’s a huge hindrance on my life. I think Dimitri may be the same. Or maybe I’m projecting on him because I see so much of myself in him. Looking at Dimitri, and the way he developed. It was like looking to a mirror at some points and getting a glimpse into the shitty person I used to be.  Now, I’m not going to pretend I went through even half the bad shit Dimitri did. His sufferings just kept piling on and on and on over the course of the game, to the point I wondered how this boy was even alive. I wasn’t at all surprised at how bad off he was in Azure Moon, but sad. Oh, he was shitty. He was terribly shitty. But I got it. Because I’ve been there. I was younger than Dimitri was when I was shitty, so I’ve got that “middle school preteen hormone changes” excuse, but I was shittty. I wasn’t as bad as he was; I’ve never murdered someone, or nearly tortured a man, or obsessed  over a death, but I was just as unpleasant to be around. I was shit, because I wasn’t dealing with myself well. I had bad coping, and I felt alone, and used, and I couldn’t stop being angry no matter how hard I tried. My head kept telling me it was my fault, and everyone around me didn’t know how to deal with me, and they kept trying to drag me out of my comfort zone. And I lashed out against everyone around me, even though I knew it wasn’t their fault, and that only made me feel more guilty and alone and like I needed to be alone. And it was all only made worse by the Hyper Empathy.  It was a cycle of self hate and misery that I put myself through, and I saw that in Dimitri. And it hit home a little harder than I could have ever predicted.  I was rooting for Dimitri because I already loved him. I love him. He means a lot to me, and as I would come to find out her personifies everything that I believe about humanity; that no matter how bad we get we can still come back. Dimitri is someone that suffered, fell from grace, brainwashed himself into suffering more, all while suffering from a mental illness, and was still able to come back with some help and a whole lot of work and self reflection.  Dimitri is someone that was surrounded by loved ones who wanted to help him but mostly didn’t know how to, people who supported him, but it wasn’t enough. He had to pull himself out, with support. and it wasn’t easy. Hell, it wasn’t easy to support him either. There was a point where he got so low I legitimately thought there would be no going back for him. I almost gave up. But I didn’t want to, and I didn’t, and it’s because despite it all I still loved who he was and wanted him to get better. And he did. And I guess that gave me hope. I guess it made me hopeful that if he could get better from all that, then maybe it wasn’t impossible for other bad people to get better. It made me happy. It made me appreciate him. It made me thankful. Dimitri gave me hope that people could be better than they were, and I’ll forever be thankful for that. It’s actually not all that often a character affects me this much. And maybe it seems dumb to others that a fictional character could affect my life so much, but then again, no one has a right to judge me for where I find hope. Dimitri isn’t just a character I liked, he’s a character that gave me hope. He’s a character that came back from that bad place. He’s a character that basically looked at me and said, “You can come back from this.” And I’m trying so hard to be better.  Dimitri and I have a lot of the same issue. The guilt, the self hate, the blame, other things. And he still has people that love him, people that don’t give up on him. And, yeah, them being there isn’t always helpful, heck, in some case it makes his issues worse. But they’re there for when he comes back, and they help him, and that gives me more hope too. But nothing gives me more hope than the fact that he came back. And when he came back, he worked to be better. And he forgave. And I feel like that makes him so much stronger than me. Because I don’t think I could have forgave to the same level that he had. I couldn’t look the woman I thought ruined my life in the eye and forgive her. I don’t think I could face a man who did ruin my life in the eye after he told me he’d do it again in the name of justice. I couldn’t forgive to Dimitri’s level. He’s come a long way, Dimitri, and I am so proud of him. Happy Birthday Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, thank you for showing me I can be better.

[adamantineheart]

#sorry to be insane but the azure moon has everything i ever wanted in a story laced with grief and tragedy #every day i think about dimitri/felix putting walls and rivers around them but still seeing each other as they are #from the other side [feat boot theory by richard siken]

dimitri and felix in fire emblem: three houses [azure moon] / boot theory by richard siken