#sorry this took 5 days bee tee dubs . dies

[our-reality]

50 36 23 requiem!

answering these in number order cuz it was bothering me hshdjeksnd

23. how would they want to die?

depends on if you mean before or after s2. cuz the answer changes. very drastically

pre s2 requiem. i don't think they'd have a specific method in mind but however it happens, they want everybody in the world to see it. they want their death to make national headlines, they want people to dig in deep into their case file, they want their autopsy to be a public spectacle. maybe people would find their dozens of journal entries and use them as a case study for kids and their health, finally making things better for other kids and their physical and mental health issues. maybe people would find the visions they wrote down and they'd prepare in advance for the horrible shit they saw. they'd save the world from disaster. they'd be called a hero by the books written about them. every day, people would lament the fact they didn't live longer to have even more visions, people would lament the fact they ever died at all.

and more than that, they want their parents to see. they want their parents to know that they failed in raising their kid and they'll never have a chance to make up for it. they want their parents to weep for them, they want their death to ruin them. they want their death to make them realize how horrible they were and how all of this was their fault, how they could've saved them if they had only been more active, if they had only payed more attention, if they had only been there to save them. but they weren't, and now they're gone. maybe if requiem was lucky, their parents would actually watch them die right in front of them. they'd scream and shout and beg for them to come back, but it never happens. and maybe then they'd finally change themselves for the better. maybe they'd stop going out every night and settle, maybe they'd save up some money and make a little memorial for requiem. and only then would they forgive them.

post s2 requiem? doesn't want to die. like. none of the main cast do, but they especially don't want to die. they don't put any thought into their death... because it scares them. because they finally understand that death isn't a revenge tool to get back at the people who hurt them. because they understand that all the good societal change they wanted to just happen before won't actually occur unless they take it upon themself to make it happen. because they were given a gift, and instead of rejecting that gift because it seems like they were given this humongous duty unfairly, they see that they have an entire lifetime to learn how to use that gift to actively help those in need, not just passively.

i guess. if there was a way they'd want to die. it would be knowing that they lived every last minute of their life as best they could.

36. would they ever kill someone? have they already?

sorry requiem does not maim and murder :( truly disappointing

they'd definitely talk about wanting to kill kill violence bloodshed a lot but i dont think they'd actually have the guts to kill someone. not even their mom and dad!! they have a lot of issues with them (see: above) but i also think they. have a complicated relationship with them where they don't actually realize just how much they dislike their parents (they think they're not that bad because they never like. physically or verbally abused them. yk). but that's for another post

also note this is funny cuz they're an anarchist before s2 and still hold a bunch of anarchist beliefs after s2 and yet they wouldn't actually commit violence. lol.

50. what is your favorite thing about them?

i am so obsessed with the detail of them not actually having any real piercings solely because they're scared of needles. and yes for the comedic value of this hardcore emo teenager crying screaming sobbing at the thought of needles but also like. as an unironic core component of their character as well.

(i'm obviously not trying to baby adults who're afraid of needles but) it's clear that, underneath the dozens of walls they've built around themself, they're still just a scared little kid. a kid who was forced to grow up way too fast because no one else was gonna care for them, so they had to care for themself. a kid who's haunted by visions they can't understand that they don't even know why they get in the first place. a kid who can't even see how damaged and broken they are because so many people have it worse than them, and they don't want to force this burden onto anyone else because they keep being told that they should be able to be self-sufficient and handle everything on their own. because that's what everything and everyone in their life has told them up until this point.

and it's only when they finally get the chance to be a kid, to embrace all the things they were told were "embarrassing" for a kid their age to do, to learn about the things they never asked about before for fear of seeming weak, to actually be 15 that they can grow and mature past their own walls and be who they want to be, not just what everyone expects them to be.

and idk i think all that stuff is kinda neat actually