#sorry this is the saga that just keeps going but i couldn't shake this when i thought of it. they're so annoying to each other

[starflungwaddledee]

this is probably why meta knight moved the conversation to the hallway

based on @das-a-kirby-blog's comic based on my comic. comic inception. colour palettes are from das.

[gisellelx]

I have just seen your response regarding the Cullen linguistics and when I thought I couldn't love it more, I quickly found your theory regarding their changing terminology. (Your mind is beautiful!!!)

By your own admision, you mentioned it would be reeeeally rare for Carlisle to swear. Do you have any ideas for what kind of behaviour causes each individual to curse?

(And not just, for eg, Bella's general existence)

You're so sweet, @youareonlyastory! My mind is actually dead at this time of year, so I've turned it to vampires for awhile to reboot it. 🥰

(Prev vampire linguistics post)

Some of the characters I've thought about more than others, but here are some observations.

Easy: Jasper and Emmett. Emmett is the only one who swears in canon (“Damn you’re a mess”), and if you extrapolate that there’s lots we don’t see in canon plus that dialogue != real speech, it’s a hop skip and a jump to these two swearing a lot. They are the ones who are the most like to get into it over nothing and suddenly get deep into a very mouthy exchange until someone notices Esme standing there, wide-eyed. She's heard it all by this point, but they still hang their heads and say "oops, sorry" when it's her listening. Jasper swears using more slang original to his era, but fuck, piss, damn, were all already quite common. Emmett is playful and outgoing and likely picks up new slang pretty readily, so he's more likely to use some of the newer constructions like flying fuck or fuckin 'a, or ADJ/ADV as fuck.

Also pretty easy: Edward. I really need to re-read [ETA: oooh that was an autocorrect error in the original post--it turned "reread" into "read" which are not the same thing. I've read that sucker, it's just painful to read it again.] Midnight Sun again just to be on top of it but I keep opening it and putting it down because that boy's head is hard to read. One gets the sense in the original saga that he's a bit stuck up but holy cow, when you’re in his POV it is painful how conceited he is. So Edward swears very little. He thinks casual swearing is beneath him. He swears when things are truly dire, like with the van. He occasionally trades a few words with his brothers and they treat him like a kitten who is hissing at them when he does.

Bella: grew up in peak fuck patois generation and should be a big f-bomb user. However, most of her language comes from the kinds of books she reads--she's a wallflower who hasn't spent much time hanging around her peers. So she knows the words, but doesn't use them very often, especially compared to other women her age. You get a bit of her annoyance with Lauren in the books, and to a lesser extent Jessica; even though she thinks of herself as uninteresting, she also thinks of some of her classmates as vapid. She's going to distance from them linguistically just like she does socially.

Rosalie: Thinks its unladylike and beneath her, much like Edward. She didn't swear as a human and pretended to be scandalized, and she doesn't do it much as a vampire. Emmett can coax her to play with it a little bit when she's hunting or working on cars. And I'm inclined to take an out-of-universe explanation that the Twilight saga was written by someone who doesn't herself swear much if at all, and was written at the beginning of the surge of YA, when people were much more circumspect about what kinds of language belonged in YA books, for the explanation why we don't see her ever think will you fuck off? to Edward in Midnight Sun. I imagine she swears at him in her head with some regularity.

Alice: Alice is hard. She's very fun loving, which means she's pretty likely to embrace new language. And she has no memory of who she was before, so she's not influenced by ideas of what she needed to be as a human, unlike Rosalie, who is still very much clinging to that high society debutante identity. She's much freer to explore. So my guess is she can get up to it with the boys, but probably doesn't usually.

Renesmee: Sounds like a GenZ-er. It drives everyone crazy. In addition to swearing, she uses things like sus and "girls gays and theys" and definitely went through a "yolo" phase. She's constantly trying to figure out where she fits, and trying on all the latest language is a big part of that.

Carlisle: swears with his sons, mostly over sports. Many of the newer terms don't even feel like swearing to him, so he thinks it's funny to try them out. There's a line in one of my short stories where I decided for writing purposes that the best narration was to just say "Carlisle cracked one far into right field and informed them both that they could do something to his genitals that left them with their mouths hanging open." I have a very clear idea of what it was that he said, though and it was shocking. Trash talking with his sons makes him feel young and light.

He swears in anger only when extremely exasperated, usually with Edward, and that's when you get the 17th century swears.

Esme: Largely does not swear. She is moderately amused when Carlisle trash-talks the boys, and just shakes her head disapprovingly at him. She's learned to use a little bit of language in bed, though it happens at intervals best measured in years. When she does, she and Carlisle both find it sexy.

Or is that "they find it sexy AF"? 😉

Thanks for the ask!

[spookysanta]

clouded in anger (g.d.)

part 3 of 3.

Summary: the not-so thrilling ending to the saga.

WARNINGS: total smut, this is purely sex and sex dialogue, REALLY REALLY BAD SMUT IF YOU CAME HERE FOR GOOD SMUT you’ll be duely disappointed

WHY did i decide to do this to myself lmao BUT there’s 2 new fics i’m writing that’re coming out soon. they’re both cute as fuck i’m excited. one’s shawn and one’s ethan and DAMMIT i love white boys.

enjoy if you want :)

****

"What did I say? Hm?" His grip got tighter. "You just don't listen."

"I-I'm sorry!" He pulled me back closer to his body. "I do listen, I promise."

"And promises are meant to be broken, are they not?"

"Daddy, please-"

"Ah ah, no back talk." He wagged his finger at me. My scalp started to burn. "You're just askin' for it, huh?" He let my hair go and pushed me onto my back against the mattress. "You deserve all of this. Understood? No safe words."

"Yes Daddy."

"Good girl." He pecked my lips. He lifted my legs up over his shoulders and entered me again. I buttoned my lips to keep from crying out. "Scream for me babe."

"But you said not to."

He thrusted harshly into me. "I know what I said, but I'm telling you now to do the opposite." His hands crept around my throat.

Well alright.

"Daddy!" I moaned repeatedly. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

He threw his head back and yelled loudly in pleasure. "Fuck."

I clawed and scratched at his chest and biceps that were infront of me. I peered at his face. Even when he's "punishing" me he still looks like a Greek god.

I felt the bundle of euphoria bubbling inside me. "Daddy," I panted. "I'm almost there."

"Oh yeah?" He smirked. He had me exactly where I wanted. "Wait a second." He pulled out again.

He stood and grabbed the foreign object from the nightstand. He placed it in his hand and held it out to show me.

It was... a button?

"What's that for?" I asked, slightly irritated that my orgasm is washing away.

"It's basically a vibrator that is one-fourth the size of a normal one and at least three times the power. This thing," He examined it as if he already didn’t know what it was and what it did. "packs a serious punch."

"And you're gonna do what?"

"Put it on you like this." He gently pressed it to my clit and turned it on, shooting heavy vibrations through my whole body.

I nodded as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. The bundle in me came back quickly, my legs shaking.

"Hey!" He scolded. "Look at me."

I tried to focus my blurring vision on his frame hovered over me. One of his hands was pumping himself and the other was on the tool inbetween my legs.

My mind got cloudy and my voice was gone as I moaned out loudly. "I'm gonna cum."

"Are you?" He chided and pressed the machine harder to my body. "Hold it."

"What? I can't!"

"You can. And you will."

My hips bucked and my legs shook and my eyes rolled so far to the back of my head I thought I would see my brain.

He started to move the machine in circular motions. "Holy fuck," I cried.

"Feels good?"

"Yes. S-So good." Tears of pleasure clouded my sight. "I can't hold it anymore."

"Are you gonna listen from now on?"

"Yes D-Daddy!"

"You're gonna stop being a little bitch to me? You know I don't like that shit."

I moaned in response. I couldn't trust myself to form a coherent sentence so I nodded.

He slapped the back of my thigh harshly. "Answer!"

"Y-Y-Yes."

"Good girl." Not removing his hand from the button, he scooped me up with his other arm and layed my head on his shoulder. He applied more pressure. He pressed on my lower abdomen with a flattened palm. "You can release, love."

I turned my head and bit his shoulder as I ejaculated. I think it sprayed all over the bed and floor. I wouldn't know for sure because my vision blacked out.

"Fuck babe." He groaned before pumping himself to a release.

He took the button of my sensitive area and rubbed the spot gently with his fingers. My legs bucked and slammed shut, which he opened back up and continued a couple more times before stopping completely. "Look at you, honey. Look what you did."

"Did what?" My now spent voice panted as my eyes closed in bliss.

"You squirted everywhere!"

"Hmm."

"You're a dirty girl, huh?" I nodded and cuddled into his chest. He kissed my temple. "You know I love you, right?"

"Mhm."

"And you pissed me off."

"I know." I kissed his chin. "I'm sorry."

"The next time I say, '[Y/N], get me extra Polynesian sauce at Chic-fil-A' and you don't, you better not be wondering why I put your ass to bed."

"Okay, pause." I held my hand up. "You need to say please next time."

"All I'm saying is that my chicken tenders were dry as hell and it was your fault."

He picked me up bridal style and carried me into the guest room and peeled the covers back. He set me in the bed and tucked me in before walking to the door. I grabbed his hand. "I'll be back. I'm gonna go and put the sheets in the wash." I shook my head no. "We can cuddle when I get back okay?"

"Kay."

I turned over and closed my eyes. Grayson came back about ten minutes later and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I love you baby."

He kissed my lips passionately. "I love you too Daddy."

[spookysanta]

clouded in anger. (g.d) part 2 of 3.

Summary: the continuing "saga" of angry!grayson on a sexpage (sex rampage).

WARNINGS: SMUT, badly written smut, swearing, oral sex (m receiving), use of a sex toy, awful smut, daddy kink!grayson, angry!grayson, poor writing, you can tell i don't get laid, etc.

a lot of people have been messaging me in regard to this series and i'm SHOCKED that people actually like my smut lmao bc i read this part and couldn't stop laughing. but enjoy anyway :)

UNEDITED

(this look is the look that will kill me. guaranteed.)

**

"But I-"

"I don't care what you have to say." He replied as he removed his jeans and threw them across the room. "This is your punishment, and you'll take it whether you like it or not."

"Grayson please." I whined. "You want me to say it? Fine. You were right! Always have been; I shouldn't have disobeyed you. I'm sorry."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "You really think a shit apology is gonna stop me babygirl? Oh no. I mean it when I say I'm gonna destroy you." He hovered over me in his Calvin Klein boxers that had a prominent bulge in the center. "Do we need to go over the rules?"

I shook my head. I don't need to go over any rules, I came with up them.

"Oh, I think we do."

Hmph. Fine.

"Number one: no back talk. I've already let it slide too many times, but not from here on out. Number two," he grabbed the vibrator he'd set on the bedside table. "you don't come. Not until I say so. No if's, and's or but's about it. And number three," he removed his boxers. "use the correct wording to address me. You will call me 'Daddy' or 'Sir'. Nothing inbetween. And with these rules, you will be punished for every time you disobey them. Understood?"

I nodded.

He grabbed my jaw. "Speak."

"Yes sir."

"Now I'm not gonna ask again. Open your mouth."

I obliged this time. I opened my mouth wide for him and he easily slid into my mouth with a loud groan. His tip his the back of my throat and I gagged a little but obviously he didn't care because he kept going. "Fuck." he moaned out loud.

He started to fuck my mouth relentlessly. His hands were tangled in my hair and pulling and his head thrown back as he continuously pushed in my mouth. He pulled out and grabbed a pair of scissors.

He cut the fabric of my silk shorts off my body. "You know good and damn well that you have no business to wear this shit." He yanked my underwear off too. "Where did you get these pajamas?"

"I-I bought them online, sir." I responded with a slight cough. My mouth watered as he walked around in the nude and completely erect. "They were on sale."

"But did I permit you to buy them?"

I shook my head. "No sir, you didn't."

"Hm. Does this call for a pubishment?"

My eyes widened. "No!" I exclaimed. "I didn't do anything! I was just treating myself, I don't deserve to be punished!"

"You do now." He smirked. "I think I clearly stated, no back talk." he grabbed the handcuff key and untied my wrists before sitting on the bed and pulling my body into his naked lap.

"But I-"

"But nothing." He bent me over his thighs. "You will be spanked fifteen times, and you will count and thank me each time. If you lose count or do not thank me, I will start over and add five more. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Begin." He spanked me.

"One. Thank you Daddy!"

Again, he spanked me. This time a bit harder. "Two. Thank you Daddy!"

Each time he spanked me, it was harder than the one previous. By now tears were brimming my eyes and I know my butt was completely covered in red handprints. "Thirteen!" I exclaimed. "Thank you Daddy!"

"Keep going."

He spanked me again. That one really hurt. I screamed. "Fourteen!" Tears streamed down my face and my voice was choked. "T-Thank you Daddy!"

For a final time, he spanked me. And I was grateful because I knew if he'd kept going my bottom was going to be raw for days. "F-Fifteen! T-Thank you Daddy!"

He rubbed my bum cheeks with his hands and I whimpered as tears silently flowed from my eyes. "You did so good, babe." he mumbled. He got the cooling cream from the drawer and sqeezed some in his hand before applying some to my bum.

I whined quietly.

He lifted me back up to straddle his lap. I managed not to sit on my behind but on my knees. He wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "Have you learned your lesson?" He asked quietly.

"Yes Daddy."

"Good girl. Lay on the bed with your ass in the air." He gently pushed me off of him and I got in his instructed position. He grabbed the vibrator in his hand and put it on my thigh.

"Mm."

"Nope. No moaning, either."

He put the vibrator on my clit.

I buttoned my lips and begged my brain to not tell my mouth to moan or scream because I cannot take another spanking. My legs began to vigorously shake and the feeling of euphoria quickly bubbled inside me. "Do you want to cum, princess?" He mumbled in my ear.

"Yes Daddy." I strained.

"Well then," he took the vibration away, leaving my lower half with an indescribable tingly feelig. "I guess that'll have to wait."

He shuffled close to me and shoved his hips into mine, forcibly entering me. "Holy fuck," I yelled.

"Did I say you could moan?" he grumbled in my ear, a groan coming after. "Hm? Did I?"

"No Daddy!" I exclaimed in response.

"Hm. So does that mean I get to punish this ass of yours again?"

"No Daddy, please don't!"

He pulled out of me and grabbed the back of my hair to pull me at eye level with him. He didn't pull too hard, so it didn't hurt but I knew what he was doing.