#sorry that was so long i am not concise lmfaoo but i hope it was helpful!

[violentviolette]

hey there, asking for a friend, how do I decide if "brain no vibey with body" is cuz of my:

•ptsd fun from s- assults

•dissociation

•gender dysphoria

•ed (I don't even know how it works now that I realised I'm like some vaguely masculine eldritch creature)

Like, I know its probably a mix usually, and there are more options, but like I'm 20, I'm just so tired, and like any tips? ;-;

I hope you're having a lovely day btw <3

I think my answer to that would be, why is it important to figure out? like, most things are a combo of other feelings and figuring out which specific thing is the root of the feeling isn't always actually that helpful, at least in my experience

like, reguardless of which of those things is causing that disconnect from ur body and sense of self, how u make peace with that is gonna depend much more on ur overall feelings and much less on what specific factor is the root u know?

also ed's def just dont go away once u realize ur not a woman. ive known cis men, trans mascs and nb ppl who have eds and those feelings do just continue on even if they warp a little to fit ur new understanding of ur gender, so it really is gonna work p much the same

as for tips, ive seen most people fall into either of two kinds of circles for the most part depending on what is more helpful to them personally.

the first is embracing the disconnect. u dont have to love ur body or even feel like its urs, be an eldrich abomination if thats what brings u peace. the important thing is caring for the body ur inhabiting because its whats keeping u connected to this world and this reality. some people look at it like a pet their caring for, u feed it and bathe it and make sure its getting enough sleep and sunlight and proper enrichment to thrive, and call it a day. others view it as a machine theyre using to navigate thru this world, and keep up with its proper mateniance and needs as required to keep using it.

the other route is more what I did and what was helpful for me which is to work on reintegrating ur sense of self. working towards viewing ur body as a real part of u and looking at urself as a whole being instead of pieces. for me, im not just a brain piloting a meat suit. all of this is me. its okay to want certain aspects of myself to be different, I change parts of my personality all the time to better fit the image of myself that I want, and my body is no different. because it is me I have full control and agency over it. if I want my hair to be shorter I can do that. if my image of myself is most comfortable with fangs, I'll wear fangs. for me part of my dysmorphia is piercings. in my internal sense of self my face is full of metal, so im slowly working my way towards that goal. taking the time to make my outside self match my internal self, while still being kind to myself about the fact that that takes time. no one is their most authentic self right out the gate. in the same way it takes time and care to get a flower to bloom, it will take time and care to get my body to do the same.

also, its okay for ur feelings to shift and change over time and to adjust ur coping mechanisms accordingly. when I was younger and my sense of self was weaker, it helped a lot for me to use that first technique. I didn't love my body and it didn't feel like mine, so i didn't force myself to love it. I just accepted that I was living in it and called it a day. as I got older and worked more on being comfortable with myself, it just naturally got easier to view my body as me and be comfortable in it

imo the most important thing in conversations about our bodies is compassion. have compassion for urself and ur body. get used to treating it kindly because all living things deserve kindness. forgive it for the ways it isn't what u want right now, and accept that nothing will ever be perfect, including ur body, and learn to find the things about it that *do* bring u joy and happiness because those will always exist