#sorry that was gross im a lesbian i don’t even know where that came from

[sophiemcswag]

ALL FOR YOUUUU‼️ the rimmer obsession isn’t going away help

[retroellie]

Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie 

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao 

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk 

Word Count: 1.8k 

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you 

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies 

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all 

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming. 

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson 

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home 

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.” 

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute 

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be 

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you 

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone 

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone 

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories 

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away 

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her 

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain 

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to 

-You would sleep over at her place a lot 

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music 

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed  

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic 

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you 

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way  so she was distant 

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one 

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it 

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you 

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers 

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman” 

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.” 

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her 

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him 

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night 

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie 

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy 

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.” 

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.” 

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours 

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air 

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment 

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful 

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there 

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more 

-Soft kisses and 80s movies 

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me 

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones  so she’s always on top of you 

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy 

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you 

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body 

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you 

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said 

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times 

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes 

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off 

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot 

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door 

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked 

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you 

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.” 

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’ 

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend 

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you 

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it 

-”What happened?’ 

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone 

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David 

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before 

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed 

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone 

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake,  Letting her sob into your shirt 

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain 

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day 

-The nights were the worst 

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out 

-”I saw him. All the blood..” 

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.” 

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible 

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had 

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed 

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet 

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change 

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece 

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either 

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants 

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please 

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex 

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you 

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers 

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be 

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time 

-Sex with her back then  was great but sex with her now was so much better 

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it 

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you 

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you 

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing 

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house 

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all 

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time 

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy 

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that  you were getting a bit lonely 

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her 

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.” 

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her,  she was really thankful for that 

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant 

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.” 

-”You think so?” 

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’ 

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you 

-

-

-

!Credits to gif owner!

[mithliya]

The insight helps a little. Most of us I think are just indifferent to dicks and grossed out by most men's dicks lol. Then because we get more stimulation from the clit than penetration, I can see how we make it sound like we don't enjoy sex with men instead of wanting intimacy or gratification from a man we like but ending up with neither. I was just wondering how we can describe our indifference or disgust about dicks without confusing a lesbian who is innately repulsed. But it looks like some of your confusion came from women presenting this as universal and something you'd experience too. Here's the thing we don't talk enough about OSA women: lots of us date men we aren't initially attracted to because they're attracted to us and we don't mind getting to know them better. Then attraction follows later. I think that's also responsible for how many het relationships are on the wrong foot from the beginning. This must be so confusing for lesbians because it's true we often don't like the person we're with but we're socialized to give a man another chance or respond to his interest in us. It's complicated and I'm sorry our issues spill over into your understanding of yourself as a lesbian.

hmm yeah that’s quite confusing i would say 😩 i wouldn’t know how to avoid such confusion tbh and im still a little confused by you saying a lot of het women actually don’t find penises appealing,,, it does make me wonder where the attraction even comes from

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[vespiiqueen]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

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1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

[ingayderzim]

not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

[eikaskarch]

caucasity does fit a situation where things that offend whiteness have more value. Look, honestly, I don't even use Caity and I don't know you. Honestly I respect the shit out of your response, but I do think it's ass backwards to pretend like saying dyke has anywhere near the gravity of shit so many others have done. The truth is that racial offense doesn't hurt you, so you didn't think about it. Which w.e. it's your blog. I was just on a good one. Thanks for replying at all.

But I also want to point out that I never called it misogyny, and I never said anything about her being pretty or of HER whiteness. I never said she was perfect, I never even said that she shouldn’t be on your list. I just thought it was shit that you put her on there from a small offense when there are so many people that have stepped out in a big way and didn’t care. Idk why people feel the need to defend white women so much, but that’s not me.

just gonna say i’m betting you’re not a lesbian if you think saying dyke has little gravity. compared to the shit liz olsens done? yea, but it isn’t light at all and its loaded as shit. a straight woman (any non lesbian actually) saying dyke aint okay and i really really hope you’re a lesbian who’s just never been hurt with that word instead of someone throwing it around because you dont think it means shit.    i told you a load of stuff that she did but i guess because it only hurts lesbians that means it doesn’t matter?? and since you clearly checked my blog today, you know i made a post about my opinion that you can ban any fc for any reason. 

a quick sidenote. “things that offend whiteness have more value“ she hasn’t offended my whiteness at all, she offended me as a lesbian by using words she shouldn’t and making lesbians out to be predatory in a world where we already get plenty of it. also v wild you think her lesbophobia doesnt affect non-white lesbians like???  

i’m not the one good white girl and i’m not gonna argue your accusations that i ignore racism but i quite literally have scarjo and liz olsen there because their whitewashing and racism and holland roden for the same reasons. i only put fcs that are commonly used on my ban list so people dont waste their time reading my rules, i literally just dont follow other fcs that gross me out.   anyway if anyone on the dash think’s im ignoring racism, please let me know so i can fix it, i try to recognise it but i don’t always get it right and i’m sorry for that. 

my friend was making a joke, because you came into my blog outta no where to attack me for not wanting to see an fc. she was making a joke referencing asks i’ve had in the past, not stating for a fact that was how you felt. but words have meaning and i for one read the ask as saying she shouldn’t be there compared to other people. you have no idea what i do or don’t care about, like at all, because like you said you don’t know me.  and, just a reminder, you came into my blog to defend her. you are currently defending a white woman and you care enough about it to keep bringing it up. you trying to dismiss what she did as small and barely important IS in fact defending her. sorry to break it to you.     ANYWAY,   i think you’re aware you were wrong to come into my ask like that because you’re still dragging it out on anon. you could have privately messaged me, hell you coulda privately messaged me to explain your intentions, because i know for a fact non mutuals can IM me. you can even message me now and have a private discussion about this instead of sending me hostile anons and i will welcome actually talking about this like adults. 

[joetasker]

opinions

So many thoughts were going through my head. So many pretty girls I can't help it. I can't help feeling insecure. They seemed so much better than I did. And Dan seemed to like those girls. He liked different models photos. They were so skinny and beautiful. And I didn't see myself as that. Nothing compared to them.

"Come on! Why don't you just come in the pool, it's our last day here!" Zoey (not zoella) yells. My brunette friend who was swimming in front of me. "Take it off for me baby!" She acts as if she's stripping. I giggle at the fact that she was so nice. She was funny, and that's why she was my best friend. "C'mon Darling, you look like an absolute queen!" She claps her hands. I roll my eyes playfully and take off the dress leaving me in my black and white gingham swimsuit. I sit on the edge and watch the water.

"Watch out!" I hear behind me and feel myself being pushed in. I take a deep gasp once I reach the surface.

"For fucks sake Dan!" I whine.

"What? It was funny." He swims besides me.

"Was not." I hold onto the ledge.

"Don't tell me you can't reach the bottom?" He stands.

"It's almost 6 feet deep! I'm not a tall freak!" I splash a bit of water.

"Hey! I am not tall!" He lies and points a finger. "I like your swimsuit, goes with my aesthetic." He nods his head.

"Oh, yeah thank you." I smile and fiddle around.

"Anyways, your friend, Zoey, she's cute." He chuckles. I just laugh to hide the hint of pain my heart had suddenly felt. "Is She single?"

"Unfortunately For you, she isn't. She has a girlfriend." I emphasise the girlfriend.

"Well, you seem to have the prettiest of friends. Maybe you could introduce me to any single gals?" He elbows me playfully and lightly.

"Most, if not all of my friends are in relationships except for me. Im usually the third wheel." I shrug at the thought. Most of the times I was happy to hang out with my friends and their partner but when I felt low about myself, I would absolutely hate it. "What about Phil, is he single?" I tilt my head as I give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Aren't you a little too young for Phil?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"He's thirty-one. I think I can handle him." I joke.

"Well yeah he's single. But I don't think he has an interest in...girls like you?" He questions his own statement. I look at him confused and a bit taken back at to what he had just said. "Wait that came out extremely wrong-"

"No it's fine. I'm sure no one has an interest in girls like me." I try to keep my tears in by laughing.

"No-it came out wrong-I have nothing against you and neither does he-but-"

"Really It's fine. I get degraded all the time. I'm pretty much used to it." I shake my head in disbelief and push myself out of the pool, sitting where I last sat, a towel wrapped around myself. Zoey came up to me at least five minutes after I got out.

"Hey what happened?" She sits next to me.

"Nothing." My voice was croaky.

"I know when somethings up, so tell me who hurt you so I can ratattack the shit out of them." She hisses.

"I know he didn't mean it that way, I was just already in a bad state of mind." I shut my eyes.

"Who is he?" She rubs my back.

"It's Dan. He said Phil didn't have a thing for girls like me." I purse my lips.

"Wait you like Phil? I thought you had a thing for the ugly brunette one?" She gasps.

"I was just kidding though. I don't have a thing for Phil. I mean he's still hot but I just don't see him like that, you know?" I finally look up.

"If I'm honest, no I don't know. I'm a lesbian. But I do understand what you mean. And also, girls like you? What's that supposed to mean? Phil doesn't like sweet, friendly, affable, hot as fuck girls? Well then that boy has something going on in his head." Zoey lifts my chin.

"No. Dan said Phil doesn't like girls my age. Which I have nothing against. I don't even like Phil." I throw my hands forward in front of me.

"Look at that loser, sitting alone. Feeling bad about himself. Why? Because he was stupid. He probably has like, two brain cells left. Look at him!" She laughs like a maniac.

"He told me he liked you and asked if you were single." I blurt out. She turns her head slowly and laughs even louder.

"Dick inside me? Bitch I think the fuck not! I'm all about them scissors if ya know what I mean." She winks as I groan.

"Stop! No! No scissoring!" I cover my eyes.

"Ew look at that thing? Standing up...oh shit coming over to us Ew no. No animals! No rats!" She makes a disgusted face.

"Hey..." He takes a seat in front of me.

"What do you want? Aren't you embarrassed to talk to a girl like me. I'm three years younger than you, shouldn't you be scared?" I hold Zoey's hand under the towel. Zoey was glaring daggers at him. If looks could kill, oh boy would he be deep down under.

"I said Phil, not Dan-I mean not me." He shakes his head. "Look, I'm really sorry for saying that. I don't even understand why I said that. I also didn't say it correctly. I'm sorry for sounding like a total dick. I-I appreciate you. For not going completely ballistic on me. And I-You have a lovely-everything. I'm really nervous. And awkward. Sorry." He wipes his hands on his trunks.

"Well thank you for the apology. And thank you for appreciating me-kind of. And thanks for saying I have 'a lovely everything.' You can go now..." I say awkwardly.

"You should see the rest of her because you don't know beautiful until you know her you stupid-" I cut off Zoey by just simply shushing her.

"Phil said you're cute, by the way."  Dan slowly stands up.

"Zoey said you're not. But tell Phil thanks. I think he's pretty cute too. But I also don't have a crush on him. I mean unless he suddenly has a thing for twenty-four year olds." I wiggle my brows.

"Gross." He whined. "I-um-I also think you're cute. Well pretty. I think that's all I can say because your friend is staring at me like she's ready to kill me." He walks away slowly.

"Thanks." I blush, suddenly forgetting about earlier.

"So...this is what it feels like to third-wheel....I mean I'm always down for some action." Zoey winks.

"Ew no! No Zoey! Nopety nope nope!" My eyes widen at the fact that I just said 'nopety nope nope.' A habit Dan had engraved in my brain.

"That is my cue to leave! I'll see you, yeah? Phil probably wants to hear how pretty he is coming from a girl so I'll make sure to tell him!" Dan stands and walks awkwardly to Phil. I'd pay millions to do those boys-Wait! No I wouldn't! That's crazy!

"So Anna is coming to our hotel room tonight-" Zoey says suggestively.

"I'll have to make plans than because I do not want to hear anything tonight!" I cover my ears.

"I'm just saying! Maybe you should try some scissors!" She says high-pitched as we go back into the pool. I made sure to keep eye contact with Dan, as a sign to tell him to get his ass in here. And soon both boys headed to my direction. I suddenly got nervous. Zoey had ditched me to go have a full make-out with her girlfriend right next to me. I swam closer to them so that I could get away from the horror.

"Did you need saving?" Dan asks, I nod my head and swim towards the stairs, climbing out as fast as possible. "Wow. Made us go into the pool just to immediately get out?"

"So. Um, Zoey is going to have some, fun, in the hotel room..." I stop myself.

"So you want to stay at ours? Yeah that's fine." Phil shrugs.

"Thank you guys so much." I run a hand down my face. "I don't know how I can repay you both."

"I have a few ideas." I see a smirk suddenly raise on Phil's lips.

[whifferdills]

“The Doctor Falls” quicktakes:

the cybermen scarecrows both make no sense and tie into so totally and terrifyingly into the overall theme of 'normalized horror' that if anyone is nitpicking based on Logic im gonna have to ask if you've ever enjoyed a piece of fiction, ever

Bill holding 12 is Iconic. the dark mirror of that one photoshoot where Sophie Aldred is carrying Sylvester McCoy. Companions Carrying Around Dr Who Forever

"how many times have you died?" "how many different ways?" like o.k. might be revealing too much of myself but this scene was hotttt

NARDOLE running away with purpose. that face

"oh, am i a woman now?" "well, kind of" "kiss me" "make me" "would you like to be alone?" im....fuckin. yeah

"which would mean more than it usually does" i n n u e n d o

that SONG what are they dancing to. if i remember to edit this i'll try and shazaam it

"old school, nice for a change," Simm!Master says while stroking his beard

Simm remains the slimiest of all Masters and the continuing sense of Missy playing along either to impress him or to play him or...these TWO

"Round??" "It's a little bit" "Shut up" THIS TIME LORD OK

shades of...what's that one where Simm pushes 10 around. Simm v much wants the Dr under his total control, but i think Missy would hugely prefer informed consent

confirming all origins of the Cybermen while dissing Trump and pulling off an unlikely plan: dr who in a nutshell

like even if what happens at the end did not happen, in an ideal world where narrative tropes are equally distributed, this is precisely how you'd do a conversion-type story. the emphasis on the character reacting against the monster they've become. having Bill be human!Bill for the most part really, really works

and the Dr being the only one who sees her, shades of "Last Christmas"

PCap going hard in the paint, dang

"Knock yourself out", and she does. nice

"Seriously, I need to know, is that true?" oh there's so much here and they're so close and it's just. how she looks at her hand after the dr lets it go, and rubs her face, and everything gets weird when dealing with touch telepaths

BILL MY GIRL GO GET EM

"the Doctor's dead, told me he hated you" "yeah heard you the first time" new dynamic: master/missy/nardole

the whole...dangerous person everyone is afraid of has a particular weight, when portrayed as a black lesbian. it's both kind of hinky and is getting at a really deep emotion, there. like sure it's not ideal but for Bill, dunno. this just seems like it rams in hard into her fears in an empathetic way

once again i do believe the Bill & Thete comparisons are deliberate

Bill looking into the mirror like...dang dude

Jelly baby?

aw the quiet whump, 12 is already broken and about to get more broken and. MY BOY. NO

they're so quiet, both of them. this scene is so heartbreakingly underplayed until the "i'm FINE" im

Bill yes i love you and support you

"why can't I be angry" ohhhhh that's a loaded line. maybe not played out so great but. yes. ask this question more, in your fiction

Nardole goes native once again. i love how him being a Computer Genius was woven into the series so he could save the day. nice organic arc, that

Bill & 12 brotp tho oh jeez these two

fuck off Simm!Master. so good at being slimy, and i love it, but a decade on am once again prepared to side-eye anyone who finds him Cute or Hot. he's a fuckboy, right

12's about to do a "Caves of Androzani" please no

Bill realizing 12 can't save her fuckin...fuck

"as my friend...i don't want to live if i can't be me anymore" and instead of "OH but i can SAVE THE DAY" the dr just says "...yeah. i gotchu. but - maybe?" and it's. thank.

 s o n i c  u m b r e l l a

is Simm!Master now sufficiently obviously gross enough for people to not write fluffy uwu fanfic

BILL MY GIRL

"Is the future gonna be all girl?" "We can only hope" CHINBALLS ARE U LISTENING

aw them three together pointing their sonics while Simm yells "kILL ITT" "well done, genius twins"

Nardole and his new girl...yknow, im happy for them. i like them. best of luck, godspeed

 "is it wrong that I... "yes, very" HOLY SHIT AKDIPAHFFHPIAFHPIAWk0R-RY*@%@

kind of a Night of the Hunter vibe here

and a "Listen" vibe

Nardole was found on a doorstep

god the Dr's desperation here, how they just want to be kind even if it kills them. this is My Dr Who, right here. and aw Pcap stop making me tear up

"just to the end, just be kind" thank you murray gold and etc for shutting up, this scene really benefits from a lack of music, can u imagine how much a standard Gold riff would ruin this (sorry i uhhh. like i enjoy gold in broader stories and sometimes he nails it but im not hugely a fan)

and how Missy almost, almost stays

and dR WHO please PLEASE oh god ohgodohgodoh

Them RTD Cyberman Noises

t h e  a p p l e  o f  d i s c o r d

like...okay this was not my dream ending for Twelvedole but the 'fuck off i'm a criminal im gonna ruin this so' and the 'you're stronger' and the.....fuck dude. and Nardole sort of saying goodbye at the tomb/elevator and then going on to live his life...it's bittersweet but i can deal

"You sure?" "You know i am" Aoufqurgo3qrq69r5674248148rfyhwekjs9d8f2q9(((((((((*^

"I need you to be big, and I need you to be brave, and I need you to follow me" NARDOLE

"Now that? was very really nicely done" i'm gonna fling myself into the sun

the Dr won't ever know that she meant to stand by their side and it's so them but it hurts ok

"You know how I go for girls and people my own age" and you're expecting like, oh god, not again, not another companion with a crush on the Dr, but then she says 'no hetero' and the dr's like 'yeh' and they blow themselves up together platonically. friendship goals

my headcanons about Koschei regenerating into Missy on Gallifrey are now kaput but i love, love love love, that they both shot each other in the back while giggling

remember that any character on this show is dead only until someone wants to bring them back

the dr won't ever know that missy would have stood by them and that's so...so them, and it hurts, but it feels right

12 naming off all the times Cybermen fucked shit up. here is where Murray Gold is good

"Let it go" im, i cant

when heather came back is when i outright started crying

BILL LIVES. in a different way. BUT FOREVER AND ALWAYS

but plus 1 to all of us who called heather coming back may they travel thru time and space happily, good luck and godspeed

hit or miss on that dude playing One but rn am erring on the side of it working for me

the Xmas special is gonna destroy me

am genuinely surprised there was no 13 here but i can deffo live with that

"i can fly anything, even you" oooHHHH

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nice

Bill's the Dr now

woo-ee-ooooh oh dogg was that a riff on Clara's theme just fuck me up fam

tbh i feel like 12's earned their 'i don't want to go' more than ten like it's just that they want to stop more than anything

again the xmas special will ruin me

but yeh i liked this story ok

[groundramon]

Is it just me, or has their been a sudden surge of intersexism on tumblr recently??? I've been blocking people left and right and I just.... idk, is it just me?????

I’m assuming you mean anti-intersexism a la that one anon post i rb’ed last night that was like “how dare you call stevonnie intersex you pedo apologist” BUT idk if it’s just you, but nevertheless that comment really came out of left field??  I think it’s a testament to where ace discourse has gone where “don’t talk/think in-detail about a child’s sexual behavior or feelings” now apparently means “if you even acknowledge the fact that children have genitalia, fuck you”.  Making hcs on what specific kind of intersexism may be inappropriate for an adult who isn’t intersex, and I say may because a. im not intersex i dont get to decide that and b. i dont think vague descriptions are bad, it’s just...if you actually talk about their genitalia, maybe dont.

I am. VERY much an anti and even as an aroace I think people who dont like ace headcanons of minors are pretty valid (i try to avoid SAM headcanons for most minor characters and go with aroace or with just demi/gray/ect, even tho i think ace adults projecting onto minor characters and creepy adults talking in-depth about minors’ sexual behavior are two very different things) but this is starting to get ridiculous.  Hardcore minor/minor (even “aged up”) porn is so much different than like, the implication that two (aged-up) characters had sex without writing it.  Like I feel like people on both sides of the debate have completely forgotten that there’s a happy middle that any reasonable person is okay with (although I tend to find that antis straight up have no indication that they thought of that, while anti-antis act stupid and it seems very...forced...like they’re intentionally sealioning.  But that’s just my observation)  Like all those happy heterosexual endings for kids shows where the kids get married and have kids imply that they had sex - you gonna call those problematic for aging up the characters to have sex.  But sorry that’s off topic and I’m just rambling now.

Either way, not everything is porn.  And I will be the FIRST to acknowledge that saying “it’s not porn!” doesn’t suddenly make nasty undertones feel less nasty.  Hopefully if you’re an author, your intentions are clear, and if they aren’t, then go back and practice until you can make it clear.  Most people with those implications don’t seem to particularly care about the harm their rhetoric does.  Shit I’m off topic again-

POINT IS, not everything is porn when it comes to headcanons, either.  ESPECIALLY when it comes to intersex headcanons.  The asexuality headcanon debate is interesting because it’s a complaint of the stated absence of anything sexual ironically making the situation more sexual - it’s not like straight-up calling asexuality too inappropriate for children (even though people do take it that way, and the lack of people specifying that aroace-ism is still child-appropriate is...sus).  Calling intersexism straight-up inappropriate for children is...how do you say...BAD???  Tfw your wokeness sends you back to the 1800s.  Intersexism isn’t something that can change overtime like the level of sexual attraction that a person can feel as they get older and become more stable in their identity.  Intersexism is steadfast, like the underlying factors behind someone’s attraction (for example, a nonbinary lesbian may identify as an aroace trans boy as a child because of their inherent detachment from female gender and not recognizing their attraction to women as romantic since they don’t yet have any sexual feelings to go in conjunction with their romantic feelings - the identities of aroace and trans boy will no longer fit this particular individual at some point, but the feeling of being detached from gender and wanting to do cute things with girls will stay the same even as they mature).  Intersexism cannot change, and it is a condition that children are fully able to diagnose themselves with.  Of course, they may not realize until puberty that something is wrong, but once puberty hits they’ll likely know and they can diagnose themselves with it.  It’s not like sexual attraction, which comes into fruition anywhere from like 13 yrs of age to 20+.  Intersexism is just as steadfast as being gay.  You can’t make that “too inappropriate for children”, even if it has more to do with genetalia than being gay does.  Calling intersex headcanons for minor characters “gross” is literally anti-intersex rhetoric and as a trans person, I can tell you that intersex headcanons are no more or less nsfw than trans headcanons.  I won’t stand for people shitting on either.

(Also, Stevonnie is canonically intersex AND trans/nonbinary, I mean that CANONICALLY, as in AN ACTUAL COMMERCIAL AIRED ON CN [and the series uses they/them pronouns ofc] about having pride in yourself and what makes you special.  Not that Rebecca is the um...absolute pinnacle of being careful with her decisions, like the whole fusion = sex debacle, but I think anyone who likes SU still has collectively decided that fusion doesn’t equal sex and instead just equals a relationship of some kind, whatever it may be.  But saying “Stevonnie is intersex” is inappropriate is just...gross.  They are canonically intersex.  Die mad about it.)

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

-

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever 

-

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

-

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

-

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

-

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

-

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

-

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

-

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time. 

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

-

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

-

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

-

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs 

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

-

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

-

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour. 

-

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it. 

-

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

-

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

-

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

-

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on 

-

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

-

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

-

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

-

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

-

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

-

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

-

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?! 

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

-

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder. 

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

-

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

-

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

-

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

-

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

-

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE. 

-

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable 

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

-

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case. 

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

-

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

-

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

-

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

-

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

-

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

-

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

-

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

-

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

-

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

-

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

-

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

-

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

-

ema: can i fuck off now

-

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

-

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

-

“back in the old country”

...england..?

-

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

-

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

-

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE  oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

-

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

-

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

-

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

-

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

-

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out. 

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

-

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

-

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA. 

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you. 

-

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

-

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

-

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL.  THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

-

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

-

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

-

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

-

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

-

why the fuck did he 

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL 

AW YEA

-

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

-

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

-

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

-

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom 

-

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

-

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

-

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

-

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

-

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

-

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

-

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

-

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

-

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

-

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

-

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

-

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

-

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

-

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

-

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

-

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

-

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting. 

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

-

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

-

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

-

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

-

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

-

Huh. 

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

:T

-

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

-

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

-

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

-

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

-

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

-

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

-

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

-

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller. 

-

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

-

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

o

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

-

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

-

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

-

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

-

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

-

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

-

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

-

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

-

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

-

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

-

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

-

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

-

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

-

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

-

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

-

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting 

-

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

-

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

-

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

-

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

-

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

-

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

-

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

-

oh wait

ah here we go.

-

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

-

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU 

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

-

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell. 

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

-

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

-

what the fuck is his deal with being king

-

OH SHUT UP DURKE 

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

-

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

w

when

-

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

-

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

-

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

-

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID 

-

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN 

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

-

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

-

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

-

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation 

-

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

-

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

-

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

-

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted 

-

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

-

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

-

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

-

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

-

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

-

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

-

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO 

-

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

-

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

-

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

-

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

[laundryandtaxes]

Yea sorry, same ‘Im missing something" anon, this is easier than ask because its complex and I care more about you doing some thinking than coming back with a quick answer about what you already think you know

I’m still missing what this has to do with being a sapphic woman only attracted to women vs those attracted to more genders? Lesbian makes sense as unique label & its important to protect the current meaning of it but, what makes you think other sapphic women have less need for terms that describe ways of being sapphic, interacting with other sapphic women, navigating our queerness? This isn’t cishets stealing “queer” - this is sapphic women who experience homophobia expecting to be treated as part of the sapphic community, and the only difference I see is you pushing us out because we may be attracted to men. If you don’t call us straight but you treat us straight it’s the same thing.

I see your concern about lesbophobia & I respect that. But, to say there is ‘lesbian culture’ that excludes other sapphic women and that there are ideas that came “from lesbians for lesbians”? it just makes no sense unless you don’t think other sapphic women are really sapphic and haven’t always been a part of sapphic culture. Lesbians shouldn’t be forced to ID as anything else, but, how does that mean your needs are unique to other sapphic women? because the idea we can oppress you by being bi is just as wrong as the homophobic “monosexual privilege” idea that some bi people puked up. When you separate lesbian women from bi women you are lumping us in with straight people & that’s just as homophobic as when bi women lump lesbians in with straight women.

To say these butch/femme ideas are “from lesbians for lesbians” means your erasing bi women in the sapphic communities that developed them and, erasing that bi women were deliberately pushed out of and erased from those communities. Even the quickest search suggests exactly what I suspected that butch/femme came from sapphic women as a whole back when 'lesbian’ meant all of us, and, definitely included women who would probably now call themselves bisexual and not lesbian, before we got kicked out and erased by homophobic lesbians who see us as traitors or straight infiltrators

I don’t need a response and to be honest I would be happier if you just took some time to think about this instead of immediately coming back with something defensive.

I just want you to think on this some about, why you are insisting that butch/femme are lesbian only ideas? Why you are erasing sapphic women attracted to other genders from our shared history? And, what do you think you lose if butch/femme labels are open to all sapphic women? (like they were created and always intended to be)

Answer:

I don’t know why you need me to agree with you on this- you presumably have your own blog, and your own mind! You are literally free to disagree, free to make up your own mind, free to follow any number of blogs where “femme” doesn’t really refer to anything at all, free to follow a bunch of “sapphic wlw lesbian is a bad word” style blogs. Have at it! I’m not even mostly being tongue in cheek- these are real options for you. Why not just take them?

Anyway, you’re wrong on several counts.

1. There is no such thing as overarching “sapphic” community in the same sense there isn’t REALLY an overarching LGBT community, even though we reference it when we talk about a group of people. Bi women and lesbians are not the same, or members of the same group. I have no interest in laying claim to “sapphic” as a term, so I am not pushing you out of literally anything.

2. You can use whatever terms you want to talk about specific ways of “being sapphic” or “navigating queerness.” I literally do not care. But neither butch nor femme has anything to do with “navigating queerness,” they are specific ways of experiencing and embodying lesbianism, point blank.

3. At no point have I said bi women oppress lesbians. I think that’s as stupid an idea an monosexual privilege, yes. You’re making an assumption that doesn’t make any sense. Being in a relationship with someone of the ~opposite~ gender obviously affords a number of material benefits, but not all bi people are, have ever been, or will ever be in these kinds of relationships, so I wouldn’t universalize that to bisexuality itself.

4. Bi women and lesbians do not need to be separated with rhetoric because, again, we are literally already separate groups, that share a lot of community, history, and issues (including homophobia) in common. But we are literally not the same. We are not the same because “lesbian” references an experience bi women don’t have, and “bisexual” references an experience lesbians do not have. This is fine. It is okay for us to be different. It is okay to celebrate difference, to see it as diversity. But to say lesbians and bi women are roughly the same is no more reasonable than saying lesbians and gay men are roughly the same, even though we are both gay- different lived experiences, period. So when you ask why I am separating them you’re presuming, wrongly, that we aren’t literally already separate but close to each other. Bi women also have a number of NEEDS (depending how you define needs) which lesbians don’t, and lesbians have a number of needs which bi women don’t.

5. Anne Lister as the source of the contemporary use of “butch” and “femme” has been debunked a million times- why you think working class American bars would have been so intimately connected with Anne Lister’s ideas as to credit her with “femme” in the bar scene sense of the term is beyond me, but “femme” literally means “woman” in French and this is almost certainly the way in which Lister used it, and I believe in certain contexts it also means “sister” and “wife;” additionally, Lister’s “plus femmes que moi” (not even actually worded by Lister, btw) translates roughly to “more womanly than me.” Not that it matters, because “femme” starts popping up in its current use in the US in working class gay bar scenes almost 100 years after Lister’s death in the UK. That’s a major geographical and historical gap.

6. WHATEVER the answer is to “Well lesbian used to refer to women who were probably attracted to men as well/many women who called themselves lesbians would not identify as bisexual,” which is a claim that is likely true but absolutely disprovable in the vast majority of cases, the absolute worst possible solution is to rhetorically dig up dead women and coercively relabel them as bi just because you think they wouldn’t see themselves as lesbians today. First of all, the meaning of the word has literally changed over time- the idea of being gay as a lifestyle choice in accordance with underlying attractions used to be very popular among actual LGBT people, and is not anymore, for instance, and people absolutely used “lesbian” to refer to women who had histories of dating men, may have still been attracted to them, but lived lives in communities of women who exclusively dated other women. I don’t care what politics you have, I think it is disrespectful and historically and intellectually disingenuous to dig them up and reclassify them according to your personal politics and taste. Doing so is gross. Stop it.

7. As for the idea that I haven’t already considered the overwhelmingly popular opinion that any and every woman has the right to use “butch” and “femme” as an identifier for themself, honestly that’s both stupid and deeply annoying, on top of being obnoxiously patronizing. Yeah, I considered it and I disagree, point blank. Don’t wanna see it, just don’t look at my blog. It’s not that deep.

8. I want you to think about why you are so defensive when confronted with the reality that actually, yeah, lesbians and bi women are different and not the same, and there are a number of experiences lesbians have that bi women don’t, and vice versa- for instance, if there was a term which specifically referred to the ways bisexual women navigate bisexuality while being gender nonconforming, I wouldn’t go “Oh I’m gnc too so that’s my word.“ What about lesbians wanting to lay claim to something we made upsets you so much? As for your last bit, you’re a total stranger- why should I care about what would “make [you] happier” when it comes to your unwanted opinion on misappropriated lesbian terms? You’re quite oddly entitled, honestly. Which does not surprise me, considering this whole conversation is about your entitlement to terms that don’t reference you. Frankly, this whole thing is why I hate the popular use of the term “sapphic” and the culture of brushing over difference which has popped up around it on tumblr. There is a reason I never use the term, and instead opt for lbpq in most cases or SOMETIMES wlw, where it makes sense.

[the-ace-community]

Okay so before i came to Catholicism i never had much self hatred for being gay but now it's really bad? It's gotten to the point where whenever i have sexual thoughts abt other men i have to take a shower. I feel so alienated and distant from my body and so repulsed by my sexual attraction and desire for same sex activity. Like i know on the one hand, my life feels meaningless and hollow without religion but on the other it's cause me so much grief sorry if you don't know what to say

TW;; religion (bc i know some people don’t like to discuss it and stuff)

i know this is gonna be a shitty answer, but maybe see a therapist? and if that’s not a financial option or for whatever reason, maybe you should find a lgbt youth center and try to find someone to talk to. chances are, there is someone there who is older that has been in your exact same shoes. hell this is almost exactly what i went threw growing up as christian. i know its tough, but there are people out there that want to help you.

i know it SUCKS feeling so connected to something that makes you feel better, but at the same time makes you feel terrible. you are perfectly normal and god loves you no matter what. never forget that. 

maybe try and associate those thoughts about the same gender with positive thoughts. the thought of a shower implies something dirty that needs to be cleaned, right? when you have those thoughts, smile, associate them with a positive action or just a simple pleasant thought because they are not dirty or disgusting or gross. im not an expert on this sort of thing or antyhing, but i can reassure you, without a doubt, that your sexual desire and attraction is not gross or disgusting or wrong. you’re perfectly fine the way you are.

i used to have a lesbian couple at my old church(when i still went) and of course my little gay ass was always trying to talk to them about...stuff...you know? because growing up gay in an institution where being gay is “”A Big Sin””(even tho all sin is equal in the eyes of god but whatever) is hard as hell. and just listening to them talk about their experience was really nice. there are people out there like you, that have gone through this and i hope that if you are able to find them, they help you through this.

[signednotme-blog]

Dear Future Me...

I've tried to be the girl, I grew up being told that's what I was and from the age of three to about Fourteen I fought it and refused to be what they wanted I was a girl I knew that and I had long hair literally back then long hair was the only way to tell I was a girl. I hate long hair I always have I wanted it short from well the age I could make up my own mind but my mom wouldn't let me she likes long hair the boys had to have long hair too but they always got to keep it a little short I had to have this thin blonde hair all the way down the bottom of my back, a big sign yelling hey I'm a girl and that's what everyone thought an till they got to know me I was one of the boys forever getting dirty getting in fights and forever bleeding from somewhere. I always knew I wasn't one of the 'girl's' and I wasn't really one of the boys either I guess I didn't really know where I fit in and I don't know if I ever will know but I'm trying so hard to find me even though I'm terrified that I'm going to disappoint people. And I've never wanted to do that even though it seems like that's all I've been doing my whole life.

As a kid my mom wanted me to wear dresses and have my hair all nice and I hated dresses I actually cut one up once and pretended that I didn't know it was my dress.

My older sister was always on at me to do make-up and go shopping with her to buy pretty clothes I never did and she hated that but then she moved away when I was about eleven and I hated it because I know now it wasn't because of me but I always felt that she moved away because I wasn't the sister she wanted which she made clear to me growing up. From then on as she came to visit and I missed her more and more I gave in little by little I thought something was wrong with me I just wanted my sister. I just wanted to be loved and accepted because I never felt like I was hell I still don't but I think its more because I grew up being told who I am, what I am and I don't accept myself.

I went to an all girls school because it had a good dyslexic program but also because I thought maybe going there would make me the girl my mom wanted because if I went to a mixed school I'd just end up being friends with all the boys and nothing would change.

When I got to about thirteen I had never had my period and being at a girls school wasn't making me more of a girl and my friend there told me that your not a woman till you get your period and in my child brain that meant 'oh that's why I'm different I haven’t got one yet' and I started freaking out going to doctors to find out why it hadn’t started and it didn’t start until I was about fourteen and then when It did it felt wrong it still didnt make a diffrence and it just made me feel so uneasy and want to hide away (it still does it feels like my insides are telling me what ive been told my whole life your a girl your meant to be a girl). Around this time I also found out that I liked girls and thought I was gay because I hadnt been around any boys for a long time and didnt really have any crushes on any and I did this one girl everyone hated her including me a lot of the time but I just couldnt shake her and then I started looking at things about being gay and I started to think that's the reason Im different because back then the lesbian stero type was these girls that looked like men. So at fourteen I cut all my hair off and I felt more like me just because I had short hair and people called me him out on the street and I had to correct them because well if I didn't the people I was with would and I didn't really understand why being called she/her girl/lady left a pit in my stomach and he/him boy/lad didn't

I started college and on the first day my teacher called me him and I was so scared that someone would think I was lying if I just said yes or just went on with it. So I corrected him and that was possibly a big mistake because after that began the bullying girls coming up to me and saying I'm ugly im gross im fat im a lesbo (at this point I knew I was bisexual and had only just came out) I had anger issues so I just yelled back most the time and started fights but when id be called gay I had to say im not because I actually kinda wanted to get either a boyfriend or girlfriend at some point I was fifteen at this point this went on till the day I left. I never told anyone how bad it got but there was times my teachers took me out of class to ask me what was happening and if I was okay and this is when I became good at acting because I didn't want to be another problem I didn't want my parents to know so I just acted bubbly and fine till they wasn't looking or stopped asking. This is when I actually started self harming because I just felt so wrong in my own skin it was like I just needed to get out it wasn't me... it isn't me.

When I was sixteen I was still in college with the same people the same comments the same bullying... telling people just made it worse so I stopped but they carried on and I had to deal, my attendance became really bad and I didn't want to go because stepping in to that classroom or sometimes just out side the college made me want to die and I couldn't take it so I stopped wanting to go because I knew that my family couldn't handle what I wanted to do when I was there. I went in once and I met a new boy who had started (my first boyfriend) and he liked me the way I was even though I looked like a boy and he was okay with it and that gave me so much more confidence but then when word got out that the boy all the girls wanted got with me a little tom boy that everyone hated they gave me even more grief and I couldn't take it I gave in and brought my first girl clothes started doing make up and they stopped not completely but it got better so I kept up the sharade and I got some peace but I started to hate myself because I started having to make sure I looked like a girl all the time or id start to panic and I couldn't breathe, I stopped eating and then started cutting and my mom saw this as me just wanting attention but it had nothing to do with that it had nothing to do with anything she thought it was she didn't even ask me why I was doing it or how I felt she told me why and I said no but I could never really say because I didn't even understand.

I left college but I kept up the girl make-up and stuff I actually started to like doing make up and I still do but I don't like the fact people just think I'm a girl because of make up there's lots of boys who wear make-up. When I was about eighteen I started hanging out with a group of people who I now regret hanging out with. One night I went over my then friends house and her other friend was there we started drinking and talking then I only remember bits and pieces because we think I was drugged the last thing I remember before the lights went out in my head was me talking to her friend and openly gay man who dressed like a 'girl' wore make up and was 100% who he wanted to be and I was there pretending to be a girl and I broke down and I think that's the first time I ever told anyone I was a boy and that I wanted to die because that was easier than pretending but I couldn't die and I couldn't tell anyone because no one would understand and I had to be there for everyone.

That was when my spiral really began I started going crazy I started sleeping with my brothers friend and I started sending nudes and doing anything I could to remind myself I'm a girl and I convinced myself I was given this body for a reason to please people and thinking that made it easier. Later that year I started a tumblr dedicated to me showing off my body for it to give other people joy because it never gives me any ever. I started getting more body confident because I knew my body had a reason for being my body I had to use it I like making other people happy so I did, my body didn't make me happy but it did others which made me happy and it gave me the strength to get up in the morning.

I'm nineteen now and my mom's friend found my tumblr and my mom questioned me as to how id feel if my family saw it or how it makes me feel people looking at them and I just said it doesn't bother me because the body I've got the body I was showing they see it as my body but to me its a stranger its not me to me I have a flat chest, I'm a boy and I want to be seen as that. When I started weight training and going into body building I wasn't doing it to get healthy I just wanted to be more built and dad always told me that your chest gets smaller and its true it does and I wanted that I want to be seen as the guy I feel I am but that's never going to happen so ill keep pretending an till either I cant or I die and either way you keep telling me to be myself but then you call me a girl and tell me that's who I am.

My hairs long again and it kills me my chest isn't flat and it feels like I'm dying my body isn't big built and that makes people see me as a girl and I want so hard to say sorry I'm a guy don't know why you think different but I cant because they don't ant me to be and they know who they are and I'm never going to be who I am because I don't like choosing myself over other people.

Signed..... Date: 04/08/2018

Not me.