#sorry that sam is the most babygirl man in the world and i think that he should be a bit more assertive with dean or go back to being mean

[samlover4evr]

am i not allowed to simultaneously love and hate the relationship that dean and sam have like People dont get that things like this can make you have complicated feelings. yes i hate how dean treats sam but i still think they are important to each other. i prefer their relationship in the earlier seasons because of how much dean belittles sam later on. like. how are you okay with that even though its fictional lol

idk maybe im a weirdo

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢

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𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍: ANON Hey you ❤️ Could I request an imagine with Bucky where you are his non-avenger girlfriend but you got really distant towards him lately as you found out you're pregnant and you're scared of his reaction? But then he finds out and is all happy and all other avengers are happy for you and insist on taking care of you and it's just all fluffy ? Thank you a lot ❤️

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: really fluff smut 18+ (praise, daddy kink, slight mommy kink?, breeding kink, oral fem!rec, age gap, etc), slight angst, cw: mentions of eating disorders (no one has one but bucky thinks this)

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛’𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: listen…. The idea of kids and having kids getting pregnant all that jazz, yeah. It fucking terrifies me! LOL! But nonetheless I really do see the appeal and sometimes i catch myself reading these kinds of fics so i really hope you like it anon! :)

PS: updates are going to slow down cuz i don’t have any drafts ready for upload and also things are a little crazy personally so yeah hope y’all understand :)

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“You like that baby?” Bucky groaned in your ear.

“Yes daddy! Oh my god,” you moaned.

“You’re being such a good little girl for your daddy. Fuck, daddy. You're gonna make me a daddy. I’m gonna come inside you and you’re gonna get all swollen and round with my baby. You want that? You wanna be a mommy; make me a daddy?” 

Bucky and you both expressed in the past that kids were something you both wanted but with Bucky still heavily involved with missions and the avengers, and you were in college studying to get a PhD in biomechanics and computer engineering, something that would let you understand and work with Bucky specifically very closely. You were too young to have a baby but that didn’t stop you from playing into fantasies of having a family with the man you were so in love with. 

“Daddy,” you moaned.

“Give it to me, baby,” you looked him into his eyes.

Bucky kissed you hard as you both came and after cleaning yourselves up you had showered together, ate dinner quickly, and soon went to bed. 

That was two months ago. 

Three weeks after that night, Bucky was gone for about two weeks on a mission with Steve. You and the girls were drinking wine but you opted out for the tempting glasses feeling nauseous that entire week. 

As a joke, the girls were saying you were pregnant but you were sure that you and Bucky were always cautious when having sex. It wasn’t a good time to have a baby. So you joked that all three of you should take a pregnancy test and when yours came out positive you freaked out. 

“Oh my god! Bucky’s gonna kill me!” you panicked.

“Hey, relax. It’s ok,” Nat comforted you.

“We can get through this. Now did Bucky explicitly say he doesn’t want kids?” Wanda asked.

“No, we both want kids it’s just, ugh, life is so fucking crazy right now and I’m still in school, Bucky’s going on missions all the time. It’s just not a good time to have a baby.”

“Ok think about it this; if life for us was normal, as boring as that is, would Bucky be upset if you were pregnant?” Nat reasoned.

“No, he would be so happy. He wants to be a dad, it’s just so sudden,” you said in distress.

“It’s always sudden with this situation. But what’s more important is that you have support. Whatever your decision is in the end we'll all support you, even Bucky,” Nat told you.

Bucky came back home and immediately knew that there was something that was upsetting you. You promised him that you were alright but you were conflicted. You tried to tell him, you really did, but there wasn’t a good time. 

One night Bucky tried to initiate sex when you two had the tower to yourselves. You were instantly distant with him afraid he’d take one look at your naked body and know you were pregnant and that freak you out. 

“Baby, are you ok?” Bucky asked that night.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel good,” you didn’t actually lie, the pregnancy did affect your appetite drastically and many foods you used to adore before were repulsive to you. 

“Oh ok, do you need anything?” he was concerned.

“No, I think I’m ok.”

Now present day, you and Bucky hadn’t had sex since. It’s been a little over two months and Bucky wasn’t frustrated per say but he missed you; he missed having his hands on your warm and soft skin. He missed the way you squirmed under him and the little whimpers you made. How good your walls felt as he thrusted in and out of you torturously slow. 

You two were in the kitchen sitting with some of the other team members. So far only Nat and Wanda knew about your pregnancy as hard as it was to not tell Vision or Steve or literally anyone. You stared at the breakfast sitting in front of you; it used to be your favorite but looking at it and smelling it was making you extremely nauseous. 

“Baby?” Bucky rubbed your back.

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t you eating? It’s your favorite,” he said.

“I’m not too hungry,” you said.

Bucky wasn’t convinced but because you were in front of other people he didn’t want you to feel embarrassed like a father scolding a teenager. His hand rested on your thigh and immediately felt your leg tense up. 

You retracted and stood up walking away without saying a word and Bucky was confused and followed you quickly shoving as much food in his mouth as he could and tossed his plate in the sink. 

“What’s going on with them?” Steve asked.

“Oh no are they gonna break up?” Sam asked with genuine concern, as much as he fucked around with Buck he did admire your relationship. You are really good for him and he loved you unconditionally.

“No, it’s just-” Wanda started.

“Wanda,” Nat warned. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” she rolled her eyes, “There fine. Y/n’s just not feeling well and she doesn’t want to be bothered.”

Bucky walked into your shared room and found you changing into yet another hoodie. That’s when he started piecing things together; or at least he thought. You were always wearing very big clothing and covering your body; that he thought was the most beautiful he’d ever laid eyes on. You were constantly nauseous and refused to eat even some of your favorites dishes and meals. You wouldn’t let him touch even though he’s initiated a couple of times.

“Y/n?” Bucky asked.

“What?” you played dumb.

“Y/n, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, I told you I don’t feel good.”

“That seems to be your excuse a lot.”

“What does that mean?” you asked.

“Y/n, be honest with me. Are you starving yourself?” he had tears in his eyes; he couldn’t even think about you doing this to yourself.

“What! Bucky no! I’m not, ugh, just,” you stuttered.

“What is going on, please tell me, baby?”

“I’m pregnant!”

Silence. Bucky was shocked. You were pregnant? How long? Why didn’t you tell him? 

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” you started crying.

“No, no, no, no, don’t cry babygirl,” Bucky hugged you tightly while you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m happy, I’m really happy and excited for us. We’re gonna be a family,” he smiled.

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know, I know we talk about this and having a family but not now. I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Well, I’m a bit bummed that you didn’t tell when you found out but no; I’m so happy. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I would do anything for you. I’m gonna be here every step of the way and we’re gonna get through this together, ok?”

“Ok,” you sniffled. 

“Are you ok? Do you need anything?” Bucky already started going into protective dad mode and he just found out.

“No I just need you,” you whispered. 

“God, I love you,” Bucky picked you up and laid you on the bed littering your face in kisses.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked you.

“Well, uh, the girls,” you said.

“You told the girls?”

“Well, they were drinking and i declined because I was feeling sick and they joked that I was pregnant so we all took pregnancy tests as a joke but mine came out positive. I took two more and they were all positive,” you started tearing up.

“Hey don’t cry, it’s ok.”

“Sorry,” you laughed.

“We’re gonna be ok, right baby?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I love you.”

Bucky leaned down again and pressed kisses to your neck making you giggle. His warm hands trailed under your shirt making your skin burst into chills. Bucky’s lips continued their assault on your neck and before you knew Bucky started lifting your sweater over your head.

You did the same to Bucky and your chests were pressed against each other instantly as he kissed you hard. Bucky trailed kisses down your body slowly, hands rubbing your skin softly, lips staying longer than usual around your stomach for obvious reasons. 

Bucky peeled your sweats from your body and didn’t hesitate to dive in. His tongue licking a long strip against your pussy. You moan softly and your hips wiggled under him. He pressed down on you to keep you from squirming but you were getting very close to your orgasm and it just felt too good. 

Bucky brought his fingers and circled your entrance before inserting a finger slowly. He looked up at you moaning at his fingers and this encouraged Bucky to insert another one. His fingers slipped in and out with ease with your arousal practically dripping from you. 

Bucky leaned forward and circled his tongue around your clit. The obsecene sounds of Bucky finger fucking you echoed in the room and you finallly climax, cumming all over his finger. Bucky crawled up your tired body after taking his pants and boxers off. 

Bucky didn’t bother putting a condom considering you’ve been his only partner the past couple years and he got you pregnant. He pumped his cock a few times before grabbing your legs to wrap around his waist and easily slipped between your folds. 

“Fuck, baby girl. You feel so good,” Bucky moaned in your ear.

“Oh shit, yes,” you whimpered.

“Oh you’re gonna be so beautiful when you're all big and swollen, shit. You’re gonna be the sexiest mommy in this whole fucking world.”

“Ugh! And you’re gonna be such a sexy daddy,” you smirked and cupped his face.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately. He thrusted into you harder and your back arched into his chest, moaning high pitched and loudly. Your hands tugged on his hair and Bucky groaned in your mouth. 

“Oh Buck, I’m gonna come,”you said against his lips.

“Let go, baby. Come for me, mommy,” Bucky said. 

You came hard; your body contracted and trembled, your stomach tightened, your toes curled, and your legs pulled Bucky deep inside you, hot spurts of his cum coating your walls. Bucky settled on you but bounced back afraid he was crushing the baby.

He went to the bathroom, well practically sprinted, and returned with a warm towel to clean you up. Your body laid still while you were cleaned and you just watched Bucky with adoration. He left again and returned wearing boxers and held a bottle of your favorite lotion that you usually saved for special nights or for Tony’s parties.

You smiled and got comfortable as Bucky poured some lotion in his hand. His hands spread the lotion evenly on your body; thumbs skimming your sensitive nipples, gently caresses all over your stomach, teasing grazes along your inner thighs. You closed your eyes and felt euphoria. 

The love of your life was really pampering you and you felt so good. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” Bucky kissed your forehead, crawling into the bed with you.

“Let’s stay in all day. My girl is pregnant and she’s gonna need all the rest she can get,” Bucky joked.

“But what about-”

“No, who cares,” bucky interrupted.

“But-”

“No buts.”

“What are we gonna tell the rest of the team?”

“Oh, well. It’s your body, your comfort. You tell them when you feel it’s best. But I do hope it’s soon because I’m so happy and I don’t think i'd be able to keep this a secret for long,” Bucky dived his head in your neck making you laugh.

“Ok,” you whispered.

“Man, I’m gonna be a dad,” Bucky sighed happily.

“You’re gonna be daddy,” you said innocently.

“I’m already your daddy,” he playfully growled.

“Then you’re gonna be two types of daddy,” you smirked.

“Two types of daddy.”

=======================

TAGLIST:

@mathletemadison 

[imagineteamfreewill]

A Good Kind of Not Okay

Title: A Good Kind of Not Okay

Pairing: Nanny!Reader x Director!Sam

Word Count: 4,414

Warnings: A little bit of pining

Square Filled: Director!Sam

Summary: Sam is a single dad who also happens to be one of the world’s most famous movie directors. When he struggles to care for his daughter like he wants, he hires the reader to help care for his pride and joy.

A/N: This is a submission for the 2020-2021 SPN AU Bingo (@spnaubingo​). Please let me know what you think. Enjoy!

X

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Sam was running late. Again. Filming was behind schedule for the third time that week, and as the director, he had to stay until everything was finished. Of course, he was part of the reason why the filming was behind schedule. He couldn’t help it. Sam was a perfectionist, and he always had been. That’s what got him hired.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Sam said. He glanced down the street and then turned. “I’m on my way, I should be there in ten minutes.”

“Mr. Winchester, we’ve talked about this.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be there soon.” He ended the call before the center director could chew him out any further. He felt bad enough as it was, he didn’t need more reminders and warnings about being late. He really did try to keep a normal schedule, and he always made arrangements if the filming was scheduled to go late into the night or early in the morning, but there were some things that were out of his control.

The roads were blessedly empty and Sam pulled into the parking lot in just over five minutes. He wasn’t normally one to speed, especially if Elsie was in the car with him, but it was times like these when he was thankful for the extra horsepower. The Charger was the last big thing he’d bought for himself before his daughter was born and he rarely took advantage of its capabilities. Dean constantly nagged him about it.

Climbing out of the car, he grabbed his phone from the cupholder and rushed inside where he knew Elsie was waiting. The day care was completely deserted except for her and the director, who was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, alternating between watching the front doors and the small child perched at the plastic drawing table beside her. Even the lights in the back playrooms and the office were off.

“Mr. Winchester, I’m glad you made it here okay.”

“Daddy!” Elsie bolted from her chair, abandoning her backpack and leaving the crayons to roll off the table and onto the floor. Sam crouched to scoop her up as soon as she was in arm’s reach, and his daughter immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face against his shoulder. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m sorry I’m late,” he murmured, and he cradled the back of her tiny head in his hand. He still couldn’t get over how tiny she was, even at four years old.

The director stood from her seat, clipboard and radio in hand. She gave him a scolding look. “Mr. Winchester—”

“Please, call me Sam,” he interrupted. “And I know, you can’t keep waiting with her. It won’t happen again.”

Her expression turned withering. “That’s becoming a catchphrase for you. I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester, but Elsie can’t keep coming to Gilded Hearts after the end of this week. We have very strict policies about parent pick-up and you signed a contract agreeing to uphold them. You’ve broken that contract multiple times this week alone, and I can’t count the number of times you’ve broken it otherwise.”

Sam frowned, shifting Elsie in his arms so he could pick up her backpack with one hand. “You’re kicking her out? Please, don’t kick her out just because I messed up a few—”

“It’s been more than a few times,” the director pointed out. “If it had been an emergency, it would be a different story, but we can’t keep staying late with her because you can’t seem to be able to pick her at the time you agreed upon when Elsie first started coming here.”

Lifting her head, Elsie looked up at Sam with big, hazel eyes. She’d perfected his own puppy dog expression solely to use on Sam and her Uncle Dean, and Sam’s heart sunk. The guilt settled in and suddenly all he could think about was how selfish he’d been. He’d been putting work in front of his daughter, something he promised he’d never do, and now he had to face the consequences.

“Okay. You said the end of this week?” Sam asked, sighing. The director nodded and gave him a polite, albeit tight, smile. “Alright. Thanks for staying with her. Have a good night.”

The director waved goodbye to Elsie, then watched in silence as Sam carried her out to the car. It was still sunny out and Elsie squinted, whining a little when he stepped out of the shade provided by the enormous oak trees that guarded the day care’s entrance.

“I know. Your sunglasses are in the car, honey.” Sam dug his keys back out of his pocket and unlocked the backseat, then carefully situated Elsie in her carseat. The tiny pair of Minnie Mouse sunglasses were right where they always were, and once his daughter was buckled in, he handed them to her so she could slip them on. She did so immediately.

“Are you sad, Daddy?” she asked. Elsie reached out a hand, grabbing onto Sam’s coat before he could back out of the doorway and go around to the driver’s side.

“I’m not sad, babygirl. Daddy’s just tired from work. Are you hungry? You ready to go home and eat?”

After a moment, Elsie nodded and let go of his coat. Sam shut the door and let out a long sigh as he went around the back of the car. His head was pounding and he was exhausted from shooting in the heat all day, but getting food in his little girl’s stomach and making sure that she got everything else she needed before bedtime had to be his priority right now. Then he would have to figure out where she was going to spend her days after the week was over. She couldn’t exactly come to work with him on an R-rated movie set. The impending migraine would have to wait.

_______________

“What’s your name?” the little girl asked, and you raised your eyebrows at her for a brief moment, then crouched down to her level.

“I’m Y/N. What’s yours?”

She held onto the door handle with both hands, swinging her weight on it as she stared at you. “I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name.”

“That’s very smart,” you replied, smiling. “Is your daddy home?”

“Who’s asking?”

A laugh almost slipped out at the cliché response, but you carefully held it back. You started to answer when a very tall, very handsome man in a suit stepped up behind the little girl in the tutu.

Nodding, you stood and held out your hand for him to shake. “I’m Y/N, from the nanny agency. Are you Mr. Winchester?”

The man smiled politely and shook your hand before reaching down to scoop up Elsie. He held her on one hip and stepped aside, gesturing for you to come in. He didn’t even seem to be bothered that his shirt and jacket were now rumpled from being squashed by the little girl and her very fluffy tutu, nor did he seem phased when she reached out to hold onto the tie around his neck.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. Please, call me Sam. I’m glad you could come on such short notice.”

“It’s not a problem,” you replied. You glanced around the entryway of Sam’s enormous house, a little surprised. It was grand, but compared to some of the others in the neighborhood, this house seemed more… lived in. Turning around, you smiled politely. “Is there anything you wanted to ask me that wasn’t in my file? I know that they already sent over my resume, references, and bio, but there’s always something that people want to know.”

Sam gave you a once-over before closing the door. “You’re a live-in nanny, right?” he asked. You nodded. “I don’t have any questions, but how about you check out the guest room before you decide if you want to stay? The last nanny we tried had some issues with it.”

“Issues?” you repeated, suddenly a bit more hesitant, and Sam gestured for you to follow him up the stairs. You did, glad that you’d left your suitcase in the car. The staircase was immense and it would’ve been a pain to drag it up all the way.

As you walked, Elsie chattered to Sam, who glanced at her and replied when necessary. You couldn’t hear everything they said, but it was clear that he cared deeply for her. Every nod, every thoughtful reply, every second of eye contact he offered her reassured you that this would be a good family to work with for your next position. It would certainly be better than your last one, that was for sure.

When you finally arrived at the opposite end of the hallway, Sam pushed open a door and gestured for you to enter first. You did, taking a look around. The “guest room” was more like a deluxe suite and you had to remind yourself not to let your mouth hang open as you took it all in. It made you wonder if there was some sort of housekeeper or maid that cleaned Sam’s house, because there was no way he kept the room as beautiful as it was, worked, and took care of his gorgeous little girl.

“It’s got an attached bathroom with a shower and a tub, and you’ll have your own private balcony. It overlooks the backyard and the pool, which you’re welcome to use at any time. There’s a walk-in closet through that door,” Sam pointed to a closed door off to the right of the bathroom, “And there’s an office across the hall you can use if you want. There’s a printer and internet hookups in case you’re having problems with the WiFi. You shouldn’t, but it never hurts to be prepared. Of course, if you don’t like the furniture I’ve got in here we can move it and you can put your own things in. I hired a decorator for the whole house when I first moved in and I haven’t done anything with the room since then.

You nodded, a bit overwhelmed. “Right. Can I ask what the issue was? That the last nanny had?”

“She didn’t like the view from the balcony, apparently, and she complained that she was too close to Elsie’s room.” You frowned and Sam shrugged. The distaste was clear in his voice as he continued, “She said she preferred to have a room near the other adults in the household instead of the child that she cares for. My room is on the other side of the stairs we came up.”

Elsie started to wiggle in his arms and he set her down, not looking away from you. She instantly ran over to the bed and climbed on top to sprawl out over the plush white comforter.

“The room is great, Sam,” you replied, nodding. “It’s amazing, actually.” You glanced back at Elsie and sat on the edge of the mattress. “How’s the bed? Comfy?”

Elsie giggled and nodded before rolling onto her stomach to look at Sam. “Is this my new nanny?”

“I think so,” Sam replied. He looked over at you and you nodded. “Looks like it, Elsie girl! You can show her your room and your playroom in a few minutes, okay? First we gotta do the grown-up stuff.”

Grinning, the little girl scrambled off the bed to run off to another part of the house. She shouted a quick “Okay!” on her way out of the room.

“So, you think you’d be okay being her nanny? Obviously I’ll let you look over the contract and you can take it to a lawyer if you need—”

“That’s not really necessary,” you told him, holding up your hand to stop Sam from going any further. “I’ll look it over downstairs if you wouldn’t mind getting me something to drink while I read.”

“Water okay?”

You nodded, and you and Sam headed downstairs where the contract was waiting.

_______________

Working for Sam was one of the best things that had ever happened to you. Not only was Elsie adorable and one of the smartest, funniest kids you’d ever nannied, but her dad was amazing, too. He never failed to make you laugh and though he was constantly overworking himself during the day, you admired the way that his focus was entirely on Elsie and his homelife as soon as he parked in the garage. Even if he finished work at three in the morning, he came looking for his daughter the minute he was home. If she was awake, she was always more than happy to cuddle up and watch a movie, go swimming in their pool, or just show him the pictures she’d worked on for him during the day. Then, as soon as the little princess was in bed, Sam’s attention turned to you. That was one of the best parts of your job, though it was becoming a problem. No matter what Sam did and despite your best efforts, your crush kept growing. He was just too great, and you worried that someday you’d be heartbroken when he brought home some gorgeous movie star. Then you’d have to quit, and not only would you be out of a job, but the best two people in your life would immediately become a part of your past. That was the last thing you wanted.

It wasn’t until you’d been the nanny for eight months that Sam asked you to bring Elsie to set. The request caught you off guard—usually he avoided involving Elsie in anything that had to do with his work because of the nature of his films—but you knew that he was a smart guy, so you loaded up the almost-five-year-old into your car and drove to the address he’d texted.

“Daddy!” Elsie squealed. Sam’s head turned towards you and he smiled wide when he saw Elsie dragging you by the hand across the packed dirt of the filming site. She had insisted on wearing her princess dress, and the sight of her in the poofy, sparkly dress and Minnie Mouse sunglasses was enough to make anyone laugh. You were thankful you’d put your own sunglasses on before you’d climbed out of the car, otherwise the sun’s glare would have been too bright for you to even see Sam. He had his glasses on as well, and you briefly wondered if he’d take them off at some point so you could see his eyes in the sunlight.

“Hi, Bug!” As soon as she was within his reach, Sam picked her up and swung her up onto his shoulders. The move was almost one fluid motion and though he did it all the time, you still marveled and Elsie still giggled.

The man Sam had been talking to—you vaguely recognized his face from a magazine in the grocery store checkout—was dressed in an elaborate suit of leather armor. He glanced over at you as you approached, but he quickly turned his attention back to Sam.

“So what are you going to do about her?” the man asked.

Sam glanced at him before looking up at Elsie, smiling wide. “We’ll have a talk. Don’t worry about it, Erick.”

Ah, so he’s the action hero, you thought, and you looked the actor up and down. He looks shorter in person.

Erick turned and caught you staring at him, and his lip curled up in disgust. “Who are you?”

“She’s my best friend!” Elsie replied before anyone else could. You smiled on instinct.

“Right...” Erick drawled. He looked up at Elsie and the disgusted look on his face didn’t fade even as he walked away to a u-shaped cluster of chairs and makeup vanities. He was immediately swarmed by women fussing over his hair, makeup, and costume.

Once he was fair enough away, you turned towards Sam with raised eyebrows. “So. This is the movie business,” you retorted.

He laughed and adjusted his grip on Elsie’s little legs. “Something like it, yeah. Don’t worry about him, he’s always like that. It’s not one of his redeeming features, but he was the favorite for this role. Do you guys want a tour of the set?”

Elsie cheered and wiggled a little on Sam’s shoulders, and he tightened his grip accordingly. You nodded in agreement.

“A tour would be great, Sam, but aren’t you on your lunch break?”

Sam shrugged and started walking. You followed close behind as he began to explain the set in terms that Elsie could understand. She was smart, and she loved big words, but she was still just a kid. After a while, he managed to commandeer a golf cart for the three of you, and you ended up riding around not only just the set, but in between all the trailers and the service roads that surrounded the site. You had to admit that the area was beautiful, even if it was hot and dusty.

Eventually, you, Sam, and Elsie ended up outside his trailer. It was smaller than the actors’, but he explained as you followed him up the steps that he really didn’t use it much, and he only had one for this part of production because they were filming in a more remote location than usual. Food was waiting for you on the small dining table inside, and all three of you breathed a sigh of relief at the air conditioning.

“Can I come to set tomorrow?” Elsie asked as she climbed up onto the couch.

Sam handed her the hot dog from the container marked with her name and smiled a little. “Not tomorrow, Ells. Maybe another day,” he said. He picked up the two remaining containers and held out the one with your name scrawled across the top.

After murmuring your thanks, you settled down on the opposite side of Elsie from him and opened the styrofoam box. Your favorite sandwich was inside and you smiled over at Sam, a little bit surprised that he’d remembered. He didn’t make or order you food often, since you normally ate with Elsie during the day and on your own at night so that Elsie’s attention wasn’t divided between the two of you.

“You mentioned that it was your favorite that one time we went to the boardwalk,” Sam said, noticing your surprise. “It just kinda stuck in my brain, and I saw it on the menu when I was ordering our lunches before you got here.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” you replied, honestly shocked. No one had ever remembered your usual order. “Thank you.”

Sam nodded in reply and the three of you dug into your meals in relative silence. Elsie finished first, like usual, and she was starting to dig through the things in Sam’s trailer when there was a knock at the door.

Elated, the little girl ran over and tugged it open, the force of which pushed her down to sit on the top step of the entry. “Hi!” she cried, and you sat up on the couch to see who she was talking to.

“Hi!” a woman chuckled. After a second, Elsie popped back up and led the short-haired woman into the trailer by the hand. “Is this your daughter, Sam?”

“No, this is a monster!” Sam grabbed Elsie around the waist and pulled her into his lap, growling playfully. Elsie squealed and squirmed as he tickled her, and the woman laughed. You smiled too, but you reached over to move Sam’s half-eaten meal out of the way. You’d seen this play out too many times to think that he and Elsie would be able to avoid knocking it onto the rug.

Elsie finally freed herself from Sam’s grasp and scrambled into yours. You wrapped them around her, hugging her tightly, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Sam caught your eye and grinned wide before looking back at the woman still standing in his trailer.

“What’s going on, Jody? Are we having a wardrobe problem again?” he asked, getting to his feet.

She shook her head. “No, but I heard a certain someone in here really likes princesses, and I thought I could give her a little tour of the wardrobe trailer,” Jody replied with a slow smile.

“Right, the wardrobe trailer with all the princess dresses…” Sam looked back at Elsie, who was watching him and Jody with wide eyes. She’d cued in on the key words in their conversation and was practically vibrating with excitement in your arms. “What do you say, Elsie? Would you like to go with Miss Jody to see the princess dresses for daddy’s movie?”

Elsie nodded vigorously and you let her down off your lap. She grabbed Jody’s outstretched hand with a wide smile and waved at Sam as she was led down the steps that led out of his trailer. The door slammed behind her and Jody, and after a second, you stood and gathered up two of the discarded lunch containers. 

Sam stared at you as you carried them over to the trash, and finally you looked up at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he quickly replied, shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“You’re staring at me, Sam. There’s not something on the back of my pants, right? Or shirt?” You twisted, trying to get a look at your back just in case, and your face grew hot at the idea that you’d been walking around with Sam-freaking-Winchester, the super hot, award-winning director, all the while looking like a slob.

“No, no. I just…” Sam sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He watched through the window as some of the crew members walked by outside, then dropped his hand back down and looked back at you. “We need to talk about something.”

Oh no.

“Sure, is everything okay?”

Sam sat back down on the couch and gestured for you to return to your own seat. You did, and you purposefully folded your hands in your lap so that you wouldn’t fidget and give away how nervous you felt. Your stomach was twisted up in knots.

“Yes. I mean, no, but… It’s a good kind of not okay.”

“Oh…Okay.”

“That didn’t make sense,” Sam said after a second.

“No, it didn’t,” you agreed, smiling a little. “Is this about Elsie? Is there something different you maybe want me to do with her? Or do you think it’s time for her to go back to a daycare, or even a preschool? She’s almost in Kindergarten anyway. I really don’t mind just watching her in the mornings and afternoons, if that’s what you need.”

“Do you not want to work with Elsie anymore?” His eyebrows furrowed and you quickly backtracked. “Because if you don’t—”

“No! No, I love Elsie. She’s an amazing kid, Sam. I just… I’m trying to figure out what you mean. A good kind of not okay?”

Sam sighed and nodded. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees for a few moments as he thought, then leaned back and relaxed against the couch cushions. You watched in silence, and with each passing second, the feeling that you might puke just from the suspense of the whole thing grew.

“I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot,” Sam finally said.

“I like you and Elsie too, Sam, but what’s that got to do with this?”

“No.” He shook his head, reaching over to put one large hand over your folded ones. You froze, absolutely stunned. Sam had never touched you except for handshakes, or maybe in passing when he took Elsie from you.

“Y/N, I really like you. I like you in the non-professional sense.”

Oh.

“I like you in the romantic sense,” Sam continued. “And I’d really like to see you romantically, but you’re my employee. I don’t want to cross any boundaries, and the only reason I’m telling you this is because I think that you might want the same thing.”

You swallowed, looking down. Slowly, you relaxed your grip on your hands and let him take one of them in his. After a second, his thumb began to rub over your skin and the feeling was hypnotizing. “I do. Want the same,” you added. “I’ve liked you a long time, Sam.”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured, Y/N.”

Looking up at him, you shook your head and squeezed his hand. “I don’t. I don’t feel pressured, Sam. I really do like you, and I was honestly worried I’d have to quit if you ever brought home some famous movie star or something. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.”

Sam smiled wide, his eyes lighting up. “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that?” You shook your head. “A really long time, Y/N. Almost the whole time you’ve been Elsie’s nanny,” he admitted, and you grinned back at him.

Any nerves you’d had were completely gone now. Sam’s touch—even though it was just his thumb on the back of your hand—was more soothing than you could’ve ever imagined, and though the butterflies in your stomach were alive and well, you’d hoped for a while that you and Sam would have this conversation.

“Really?”

He nodded and brought your hand up to his lips to kiss it. The butterflies leaped for joy.

“That’s a long time. I didn’t even catch on,” you told him.

“I had to be careful. And to be honest, the only reason I suspected you liked me back is because Elsie started talking about how you and I act like one of her friend’s parents whenever we’re together. She started asking questions and it made me think.”

You laughed. “That little girl has got a brain bigger than yours. She’s gonna grow up amazing.”

Sam hadn’t stopped grinning at you and you felt your face grow warm under all the attention. If this was an old black and white movie, you would’ve swooned by now, but now his smile was beginning to fade. You sensed that the other shoe was about to drop and your own smile wilted.

“I’ve got you to thank for a lot of that,” Sam said, his voice softer. “We can’t be together if you're my employee, Y/N.”

“We’ll figure it out,” you murmured. After a second, you gave him a sly smile. “You and Elsie just need to put your big brains together.”

_______________

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[lustfordespair]

always forever

SEASON 15 SPOILERS! Summary: You and Dean are a couple. Knowing what happens in season 15, this is basically you dealing with his death and the fact you were with child when he passed. The guilt of never telling him you were pregnant. It eats you up inside that you’ve lived longer than him but that wait pays off. Also, I listened to Always Forever by Cult on repeat writing this! It’s what inspired it too. Hope y’all enjoy! Warning: Angst, pure angst. Mentions of Death.  Mentions of Pregnancy. Teenager Things. Word Count: 2723

You and me, always forever. 

Say you’ll say never be seperate. 

She sat in the back of the impala confused on why the boys were taking a while, it was just a simple vampire nest to knock out, she knew they’d be able to by themselves due to the fact the Winchester brother’s have been in the hunting business longer than she had. 

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t she just do the wipeout with the boys? Well she had been keeping a secret, they didn’t question her though when she insisted on waiting. “Those damn boys, what could be taking them so long?” she said aloud, exiting the vehicle and making her way inside. 

Slowly walking in her eyes blinked several times in disbelief at the sight before her. Sam standing before Dean, who was . . impaled? 

“Sam.” she spoke, causing the tall male to turn around. “(Y-Y/n)” he began. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He continued to speak but her thoughts blocked him out as she made her way to Dean. “He’s okay right?” she asked, not expecting an answer. 

“He’s-” 

“No. He’s not!” she placed her hands on Dean cheeks with tears beginning to fall from her eyes, “Dean- Dean! You can wake up now! Y-You’re fine! I know you are!” she reached for his hand for a pulse only to be met with no heartbeat and a hand placed on her shoulder. She turned to Sam.

“W-What are you doing! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF-” she was sobbing at this point, yelling at the younger Winchester, doing as he was told although it pained him to pull his older brother's lifeless body off. He gently laid him on the ground. 

The two sat there for a while, Sam holding a crying (Y/n) in his arms. 

--------------------------------------------

It was the day after they had Dean’s “funeral”, burning it more was. 

(Y/n) made her way to the fridge, pouring herself a glass of milk and herself down at the table, silently reading a book to herself. 

“So were you ever gonna tell him?” 

She looked up to the door to be met with Sam’s gaze, “Tell who what-”

“Dean.” he spoke, holding up a pregnancy test he had found in the trash a few days back. Yeah a few days, he had knew but never really knew when to bring it up. 

She took a drink of her milk and sighed, a single tear threatening her eyes. “I was, yeah. Never got to though, you know?” Sam only nodded at her comment and proceeded to grab himself a bowl of cereal. 

Miracle soon walked his way in and barked, causing (Y/n) tp get up from her seat, “Don’t worry boy, I’ll get you some breakfast too.” She got out a pan and some eggs, even before Dean passed she’d always cook Miracle an egg or two. 

“Really you made the dog eggs but not me?” a deep voice asked. 

She turned and smiled, “Yes, Dean I did. Not my fault you didn’t want to get up a little earlier for breakfast.” 

The male made his way towards (Y/n) and gave her a kiss on the head, then the cheek, her nose, her other cheek, her neck.. and finally on the lips. 

“Ew jeez, if y’all are going to do that go back to your room.” Sam spoke, resulting in a laugh from (Y/n). 

“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Dean swept her off her feet and made his way out the kitchen and to their room. 

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)???”

She blinked a few times before looking at Sam, “What?” she asked. “Uhm, you okay? You drifted off a bit.” he spoke. She realized she was still in the kitchen, she took a deep breath. “Yeah I’m fine, sorry.”

With that the two proceeded on with their day. 

--------------------------------------------

“SAM! SAM! OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO SCREAM!” she shouted.

Sam rushed out of his room and ran to (Y/n)’s with Miracle barking behind, ‘(Y/n!) What’s wrong?” he spotted the girl with her hand on her stomach, leaning over her desk. 

She gulped and looked at the male, “It is damn time Samuel!” and with that Sam panicked. He grabbed the emergency bag they had prepared for the day and made his way to the impala, starting it and driving.

“I can’t believe it’s happening! I’m going to be an uncle!” he shouted turning to the passengers seat, “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” he turned the car around realizing he forgot the most important thing to the hospital: (Y/n).

“I’M SORRY I FORGOT YOU” he began, “SHUT UP AND TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL SAM!” “OKAY OKAY SORRY!”

They then made their way to the hospital, both of them knowing they’d remember the day the kid’s Uncle Sammy forget their mom when she was giving birth. Soon, they arrived.

There laid (Y/n) beginning to give birth, squeezing Sam’s hand and yelling at him for letting his brother get her pregnant, as if it was his fault. 

“Come on (Y/n)! One more push!” the doctor shouted. 

She cried, “I can’t.. I can’t anymore!” Tears were forming in her eyes, still holding onto Sam’s hand.

“Hey, you got this babygirl.” 

(Y/n) turned her head the opposite direction of Sam and stared at the love of her life, “Dean..”

“(Y/n), you got this.” he grabbed her hand, “You’re the strongest woman I know, so you push that kid out and be the best mother in the world!” he shouted. He then leaned to her ear and whispered, “I love you.”

She nodded and took a deep breath before pushing one last time.

--------------------------------------------

“Mary!!” 

Giggling could be heard around the house hold, along with Miracle’s barks. 

“Mary Deana Winchester you get your butt in here and put your shoes on now!” (Y/n) shouted. “No! Momma, no!” 

(Y/n) stood in the living room arms crossed, wearing a simple black dress, her hair up and heels. “Mary please, I promise you and I can have a burger night and watch any movie of your choice.” 

Suddenly, a little girl around the age of 4 made her way into the living room, Miracle following behind. “Can we watch Frozen..?” (Y/n) laughed, “Of course.” she made her way to the couch and sat down, watching as Mary grabbed her shoes and climbed up on the couch. 

“Alright little one, ready to go?” she asked, hearing Mary’s little yes in response. (Y/n) picked the little girl up, grabbed her purse and began to make her way out the door.

“You two look beautiful, especially you.”

(Y/n) looked at Dean and smiled, “You’re always for flattering, Winchester.”

He chuckled, “I know.”

“Bye Miracle! We’ll be back soon buddy.”

“Sorry we took a bit! Somebody didn’t wanna put her shoes on.” She spoke. 

“It’s fine! As long as my best man and flower girl is here.” Sam smiled and gave Mary a hug before hugging (Y/n). “Ahem, I’d prefer best lady” she smirked. Sam rolled his eyes, “Hey no matter what you are the best huh?”, “Well of course I am!” she smiled at the younger Winchester’s remark.

“Ah, she looks so cute!” (Y/n) whispered to Sam as Mary walked down the isle happily spreading rose petals around, even handing a few people some directly in their hands. He nodded in agreement. 

“Mommy?” Mary looked up at (Y/n) as they ate a burger, watching Frozen, the pair still in their outfits from the wedding. “Yes, Mary-Dean?” she looked down at the little girl. “Did daddy like burgers?” she asked.

(Y/n) smiled, “Your daddy LOVED burgers.” 

“Really?” Mary asked, “Yeah.” (Y/n) giggled at the girl, she had mustard on the side of her mouth, “Would make a mess like you too.” she spoke as she wiped the mustard off. 

“Alright kiddo! Come on, it’s time for bed.” 

“Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?” 

“Of course kiddo.”

--------------------------------------------

“I miss you.” 

“I know you do, babe.”

(Y/n) and Dean danced together, it was their wedding. She’d giggle when he’d spin her around and she’s apologize when she’d step on his shoe.

“She asks about you, you know. Mary.”

“Curious about her handsome father?”

She rolled her eyes, “Of course.”

Dean dipped her and pulled her back up. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek, her nose, her other cheek, and stopped.

“Hey! You missed the lips buddy.” she spoke. “I know.”

Dean placed his hands on her shoulders, a sad look on his face. “Why haven’t you let go yet?”

“What..?”

“Let go. LET GO. LET GO. LET GO.-”

“Mommy wake up!!” Mary shouted. 

“Wha? Huh?” (Y/n) looked at her daughter, “What is it Mary?” she asked

“You were crying in your sleep..”

--------------------------------------------

“Mary Deana Winchester! It is 12am, your curfew is 10:30 and you know that!”

“Sorry mom, jeez, I was just hanging out with friends.” Mary responded.

“I get that but I told you if you were gonna even be 5 minutes late to text me! Something could’ve happened to you and I wouldn’t know!” (Y/n) shouted.

“Jesus mom calm down! You act like monsters exist, I was just with friends, Avery remember?” Mary spoke. 

(Y/n) scoffed, “I know you weren’t with Avery, she stopped by asking for you while you were gone.” She crossed her arms.

“Fine mom, I was with Tyler what’s it matter?”

“Mary-Dean you know I don’t trust that boy!” 

“I don’t care! It’s my life!”

“Don’t you raise your voice at me little girl.” (Y/n) was furious at this point, which she hated. She hated yelling at Mary cause when she looked into her eyes she always saw Dean’s eyes.

“I can if I want to! And you know what! Sometimes I wish it was you instead of dad. He would’ve been cooler than you in this situation.” Mary made her way upstairs to her room, unaware that her sentence affected (Y/n) greatly. 

“You know she didn’t mean it, babe.”

“It doesn’t matter, Dean. It still hurt.” she placed her hand on her arm and rubbed it, the same way he would when she was upset.

“She’s just a teenager.” he spoke.

“I miss her being small.” (Y/n) turned to the male figure, “And I miss you.” 

--------------------------------------------

Mary and Dean, Sam’s son, always got along, no matter the 4 year age difference. Ever since Sam got married and (Y/n) felt like she wasn’t important to him anymore, they met up every Friday for dinner. Specifically her Dean’s favorite, pizza and burgers.

“Look at those two getting long, how old is Mary again?” Sam asked, beer in his hand.

(Y/n) sighed, “16. Which is so weird to say.” she looked at the kids talking to each other then to Sam. “The other day she said she wish her dad was still here and not me.” 

Sam almost spit up his drink, it wasn’t like he liked to drink a lot of beer anyways, “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” he reassured her. “You’re her only mother, she’s just growing up”

“Yeah and that sucks Sam.” she admitted, “I know, but it happens. We have to deal with it as we get older.” 

(Y/n) scoffed, “Did you just call me old?” Sam raised his hands and shook his head, “No! That’s not what I meant!” She chuckled at his reaction.

Soon, Sam’s wife walked outside with the pizza and burgers. “Mary! Dean! Come dig in!” she shouted.

(Y/n) looked at Sam and Sam looked at her, both with pizza in their hands. 

“Cheers!” they shouted.

“Cheers!”

(Y/n) looked at Dean and smiled.

“Dork.”

--------------------------------------------

Mary came home crying.

“Mary? What’s wrong?” (Y/n) asked as the girl ran to her room and slammed the door. 

She sighed, realizing she may know exactly what happened, what she predicted. 

(Y/n) grabbed the container of ice cream in the fridge and made her way upstairs, “Mary? Love, it’s mom.” she spoke.

“Go away.” Mary responded.    

Silence.

“I got ice cream.”

Just like that the door opened.

She made her way to Mary’s bed and sat down, “What happened, love?” she asked. “You were right about Tyler.” Mary sniffled, “He broke up with me for Avery.”

“Avery? Seriously- you know what I never liked that girl in the first place with that one weird tooth and the way she’d wear pig tails and-” Mary giggled at her mother’s comments and grabbed the ice cream and a spoon form (Y/n)’s hand. 

“I’m sorry about what I said 2 weeks ago..” Mary paused. “I love you mom.”

“I love you too, Mary.” she kissed Mary’s forehead and they both dug in.

“Ya know, I’d beat that Tyler kid’s ass for hurting my little girl.”

(Y/n) giggled “ I know you would Dean.”

“I know you would.”

--------------------------------------------

(Y/n) never thought she’d live to see the day. She always thought it was gonna be her next, not Sam.

She sat there in the church, Mary by her side, holding onto her hand.

She really couldn’t believe it. While most told her she was lucky to outlive the Winchester’s, they didn’t understand that- she never wanted to. She’s still living her life, she watched the people she’s loved pass and it affected her a lot. Especially today, being Sam’s funeral. 

“Come on mom.” Mary began, “Let’s get you home.”

Mary helped (Y/n) into the car and began to drive her home. She couldn’t help but notice her mother’s look on her face, “You okay ma?”

(Y/n) simply shook her head, “Both of my best friend’s are gone Mary..” 

Mary’s face was full of sorrow, she really did feel sorry for her mother. “Mom? Can I ask you something?” “Hm..?”

“Even after I was born, after all these years.. why did you never date? Never move on?” Mary asked.

(Y/n) looked at her before looking out the window, “No one could ever replace your father. He was the best and..” she paused, “Truly the love of my life.”

“As you are mine, sweetheart.” Dean smirked. 

--------------------------------------------

Mary sat there sadly, she knew the day would come but she never wanted it to.

                                                 (Y/n) (L/n)

                                Loving mother. Loving daughter.

Tears rolled down Mary’s cheek, “I love you mommy.” she spoke. 

She never thought that someone could truly die from a broken heart.

That’s what got to (Y/n), a broken heart. Mary knew her mother lived a eventful life, so it was no surprised when she processed what she had died from. Although she was sad now, she knew her mother was happy. She knew she was up in heaven with the Winchester brothers.

--------------------------------------------

(Y/n) walked around confusingly, she didn’t know where she was at but she did know she was young again. She stared at her hands and touched her (h/c) hair once again, no longer gray.

“(Y/n)?” a voice called out.

She turned out, “B-Bobby?” she asked.

The man chuckled, “Well it’s about damn time you got here.”

She tilted her head a bit, “Here?”

He smiled, “Heaven silly.” Bobby chuckled once again at (Y/n)’s reaction, “Yeah, ‘long time ago for you Jack changed the place up. We’re all together here.”

(Y/n)’s mouth opened a bit, “We’re?” Bobby nodded and began pointing, “Rufus lives there, The boys parents there.. speaking of the boys Dean sure damn hell has been waitin for you.”

Her eyes got teary, “Dean?”

“That’s my name doll, don’t wear it out.” 

“DEAN!” (Y/n) shouted and ran towards the male, jumping on him for a hug which thankfully he caught her.

“Sammy and I been waiting for you baby. Matter of fact we were just talking about you.” he admitted.

(Y/n) wasn’t even listening to him, just kissing him all over his face.

“Oh Dean! I’ve missed you!” 

“And I’ve missed you too (Y/n)” 

Dean planted a sweet kiss on her lips and pulled away, “Come on! Sammy and I are having burgers and beer tonight!”

She just smiled, “I love you, Dean Winchester,”

He smirked, “I love you most, (Y/n) (L/n).”

You and me, always forever.

We could stay alone together.

Author’s Note: OH MY GOODNESS I WROTE THIS IN A DAY. I was in fact, on a roll. I’m not even gonna lie I teared up writing the end cause Dean deserved so much :( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoyed the story! My hands hurt not aha! 

[sadachmesarthim]

coercive notions - stucky

content: semi-graphic violence, blood, minor character deaths, emotional manipulation and abuse, false imprisonment, kidnapping, torture in the form of nonconsensual body modifications, stockholm syndrome.

dead dove: do not eat. steve sucks big time in this one. i’m not really sorry about it. 

note: happy 6k followers to @sweeterthanthis​ !!! i love the idea of these prompts, they definitely did their job !! i was thrilled when i saw i got my quote of choice. this one’s based on ”i wish i knew how to quit you” from brokeback mountain (my favorite angsty husbands) 

if the timeline is nonsensical in this - think 2 years post engame but no one's actually died! there is also some background starker but it's only mentioned twice. this is my first time writing for steve and bucky, and my first ~dark~ piece. it was definitely the challenge it presented itself as, and i’m super thankful for the opportunity to participate alongside so many talented witers!! 

word count: 4.2k ; read time 15 minutes

Steve'd survived because of Bucky. 

Bucky was the one that kept the fevers at bay, bought him medicine, nursed him back to health even when neither of them thought he'd survive through the night. Bucky was the one that dragged him out of the river, and left him alive on the bank.

Left him to wake up. 

Bucky was the one that welcomed him with open arms when Steve was abandoned by the Avengers. Steve'd lost his home, his family - everyone and everything he had - when the world rejected him (the millionth time). Bucky was the one that came back. He'd lost his arm, his identity, everyone and everything he remembered - but he still ran to Steve without hesitation. No matter how far away they got, no matter what separated them, they always came back to one another. 

They got together right after the fight with Tony in Siberia. 

They'd found each other, and suddenly gained a future. 

Steve had never... really pictured himself having a future. When he was younger, he accepted that he'd die young. A fever that wouldn't break, a cough that wouldn't leave, pneumonia he couldn't beat... Then he joined the army. He suddenly... had possibilities.

But there was still war, he was still fighting, and he was still in the line of danger every single day. It didn't matter if he was fighting Hitler, homophobia, Hydra, - someone was always gunning for him. Someone was always trying to get him killed. And it worked! He died! Crashed straight into the ocean and froze, for seventy fucking years!

Until someone had the audacity to defrost him, and yet again force him into the line of fire. Without really consulting him first. It was something Steve was slowly coming to terms with - he’d always be fighting, always be serving, always be protecting. 

He’d been failing his job as a protector, lately. 

+//////+

They all thought it was a bit weird, but then again, so is living with two men that look seventy years younger than they actually are. So is living with your coworkers. So is being a superhero. So of course none of the other Avengers said anything. 

Not when Bucky started asking Steve permission for things - to get up from, and leave, the table after meetings. If he could get seconds during breakfast or dinner. If he was allowed to come on patrols or missions. Everyone just assumed it was a forties thing, or that it was just Bucky getting more comfortable around them. The dirtier minds of the group (Tony, Peter, Natasha) chalked it up to a kinky sex thing. 

Steve saw it as devotion. 

Bucky saw it as a way to keep him appeased. 

See, Steve'd gotten more... irritable, lately. Every time Bucky got hurt on patrol, was in a bad position during a mission, needlessly volunteered to do something dangerous  - it pissed Steve off to high heavens, for no reason. It'd gotten significantly worse over the course of a few months, to the point where Bucky could barely breathe without Steve getting upset. 

It came to a head one day when Bucky got pinned during a fight with New York's latest nuisance. He wasn't even supposed to be there, it was his day off, for fucks sake. But he'd heard the call go out, and suited up before following a few minutes behind the rest of the crew. 

This particular species of big nasty™ (a xorrian dog? Thor had called it?) had an... upsetting taste for live, warm flesh. He popped up outta nowhere over Manhattan during the Friday morning rush, apparently scouting Earth for the next course in their Milky Way Dinner Service. 

Bucky, self sacrificing moron that he is, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just as Steve laid down the final blow, narrowly avoiding the alien's jaw, Bucky slid underneath it, shoving his hand between the soft plating of the monster's stomach. He reached in, single-handedly gutting the thing while Steve put a shield-sized dent in its skull.

Their foe dropped almost instantly, crushing Bucky beneath several tons of dead weight. None of them would have known he was there, either, if Tony hadn’t programmed life-sensing protocols in a new combat arm he’d gifted the soldier for his second anniversary home and Hydra-free. A signal went to Tony’s suit the instant FRIDAY sensed structural integrity issues, sending him a precise location.

“What do you mean he’s here, babygirl? We didn’t call him in.” The worry in Tony’s voice was apparent, calling the attention of the rest of his team. They were all intrigued, prematurely pulled from their celebrations of a fight well won. 

“It seems that Sergeant Barnes is approximately twenty paces northwest of your location, and his elevation is slowly decreasing. Would you like a map of the area?”  

“Uhh, no Fri. I think I know exactly where he is. Cap, get your ass over here!” His heart rate was increasing by the second. If he thought correctly (as Tony almost always did), Bucky was... underneath the alien. “We need to pick this fucker up, or flip it, or something. I think Bucky’s stuck under it.” 

Steve’s blood ran cold. “Tony, what the fuck are you talking about? Bucky wasn’t part of the group today.” 

Steve didn’t hide his anxiety well when it came to Bucky. Their team knew that he was Steve’s whole world. One more life threatening situation, and Steve might actually die from old age with all the years Bucky’d stressed out of him. FRIDAY sending a detailed ping with Bucky’s combat arm location didn’t do anything to ease his anxiety, either. He knew it was just like Bucky to do something like this - jump in without word, all act and no think. Try to help his team out and wind up crushed by an alien pet the size of a 787.

Peter was next to them, soon, ready to help get this thing off their friend. Together, they managed to drag Mister Beast-of-the-Week far enough down the street, revealing a very unconscious, very bloody Winter Soldier nestled in the asphalt. 

Steve was on him in a second, picking Bucky up with both hands. Tony already had FRIDAY doing preliminary scans and sending them back to Cho and Strange. Initial reads weren’t terrible, all things considered, but he still looked like shit. He might be five hundred times stronger than the average man, but no one’s prepared to be stuck under 200 tons of pure xeno-reptilian mass. Not even Bucky Barnes. 

His head rolled back freely as Steve picked him up, exposing an already bruised and swelling jaw. Steve’s breath caught in his throat, choking him on his own shock. Saved by the bell, Cho called Tony back immediately, sending for one of them to bring him to the tower surgical site immediately. 

“We have to go, Steve. Let us take him, we’ll get him fixed. We’ve done it before. We can do it again. But you have to let him go.” Steve’s upward glance brought him Tony’s exasperated face. He was dizzy, everything felt like slow motion. 

He didn’t register the movement until he saw it, watching Peter’s hands as they held him back. Tony took Bucky’s lifeless form, carrying him toward Stark Tower and away from the wreckage. 

The wreckage he shouldn’t have been anywhere near in the first place. 

The wreckage he wouldn’t even have known about if he didn’t beg Tony to be included in all mission alerts. 

The wreckage he would have avoided if it weren’t for the martyr complex he’d had since birth. It might not be nearly as strong as Steve’s, but it was still there. Bucky’d always gone to obscene lengths protecting the people he loved. 

Steve had a track record of doing a piss poor job of repaying the favor. He couldn’t save him from the war. He couldn’t save him from the train, or from Hydra. He couldn’t save him from Thanos. He couldn’t even save him from a stupid little skirmish downtown. No, from where he was standing, Steve’d fucked up. Big time. 

He promised that day, he wasn’t going to let anything like this happen again. 

+//////+

It was weeks before he was back to normal, and even then - Bucky wasn't entirely sure he wanted to leave. Not because he was still sore, or not feeling up to par. In fact, he'd been antsier and more ready to get back into the field than ever. He missed his friends, he missed the people he fought evil with every day. He missed sparring with Sam and going on runs with Peter, listening as Thor regaled stories about Old Asgard no one.. could quite follow. Missed the twice weekly calls from Shuri. But most of all, he missed his freedom. 

Steve wasn't ready to give it to him. 

When he woke up after surgery, Steve was right next to his recovery bed. He almost looked like he did back in the day - sleep deprived, worry lines forcing their way to the surface of his face. Vague frustration enveloped him, even when he met Bucky's conscious form for the first time. 

Their first few conversations were tender, loving, but it didn't take long for them to sour. 

Steve'd insisted on bringing Bucky back to their shared floor immediately after he woke. He allowed Cho to look him over, FRIDAY to scan him, everyone to come say hi - but he never let Bucky out of his sight. Not while Bucky was awake, anyway. 

He slept a lot in those first few days. He was still healing, and while it might have been much faster than anyone expected, he was also recovering from what should have been several deaths over. He spent most of his time in bed, asleep, or talking to Steve. 

Most of it was lecture, some was praise. How stupid he was to get involved on his day off. How much Steve loved him. How he wasn't allowed to go being a martyr like that again. How much Steve loved him. How Steve was going to do a better job of watching over him from now on. How much Steve loved him. 

There was a lot of that, after Bucky woke up. How much Steve loved him. How important Bucky was to him, how much it meant to him that Bucky was alive and breathing and conscious and okay. Every time he got a lecture, or a reminder, Steve's hand was on him somewhere. His shoulder, his wrist, his face. His throat. Every time he spoke, he squeezed, just the tiniest bit. Not threatening, not even to force acknowledgement. Just.. Because he could. To the untrained eye, it was just physical contact. 

Bucky knew better. 

Bucky knew conditioning when he saw it. When he felt it. 

Bucky also knew he was significantly more susceptible to conditioning than most people. 

Bucky was fucked. 

+//////+

Tony didn't think anything of it when Steve asked for handcuffs that could hold a supersoldier back. He, too, was a pervert with a genetically enhanced super-boyfriend, who was he to deny the Captain a little fun? He'd designed restraints Peter could use without breaking (or hurting himself!), why not share the love?

No one thought anything of it when Bucky stopped joining them on missions. Trauma has a different effect on everyone, maybe Bucky just needed time to process almost dying (again). No one would blame him for it. Hell, most of them encouraged his staying home. 

None of them... really thought anything of it when he quit leaving altogether. They trusted Steve's judgement, and if he didn't think Bucky was ready to leave, then he wasn't. Bucky knew better than to defy him, too - just kept his mouth shut around "yes, Steve"s and "okay, Steve"s.

The conditioning didn't stop as he got stronger. He'd been back to 100% weeks ago, but Steve was still babying him. Carrying him to the shower, not letting Bucky bathe himself, or brush his own teeth. He couldn't dress or eat without help, go anywhere without asking. "I just want to keep you safe. I need to know that you're not going to get hurt." Steve's words remained calm, level, but his face betrayed the threat behind them. If you don't listen, you won't be able to leave at all. 

Bucky'd learned the hard way that if he didn't listen to Steve, he wouldn't have a choice. He'd attempted to leave their floor by himself while Steve was out on a mission with Tony, Nat, and Thor - he got up early, showered, got dressed. His first taste of freedom in a long time, he was so excited to go see everyone again. 

He was downstairs and halfway through breakfast with Bruce and Peter when Steve got back. 

+//////+

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the sun. It's a familiar feeling to him, one he thought he'd never deal with again. The isolation. The lack of control. The fear. 

Steve initially hadn't looked mad. He let Bucky finish his meal, kept a distant but watchful eye over the group until the two others finished and moved on to their lab work downstairs. 

Bucky knew he was fucked. He'd broken rules. He'd left their room without permission. Steve might not have looked it, but Bucky could feel the anger and disappointment radiating off him. 

After that... He wasn't allowed to do anything. 

No workouts, no missions, no patrols. No leaving their room. Steve'd used the restraints Tony made - had him thoroughly tied down to the floor below their bed. No internet, no phone. Not a single book or movie or boardgame in sight. Good boys don't require entertainment to behave. No eating - Steve'd placed a gastric tube down his sinus to provide nutrition. His muzzle, the one hydra'd used... Steve'd locked it over his jaw, and left it there. Good boys don't need to use their mouths - not to drink, not to eat. Not to talk back or call for help.  No using the bathroom on his own - he had a catheter replaced once a day, and Steve changed his bag as needed. Good boys don't get to leave the bed, not even if it's an emergency. 

He learned to wait for Steve. Learned his schedule - early morning meetings with Wakanda, check ins with Fury and Maria, patrol a bit after lunch. Then, he'd come back, make sure Bucky's bag was empty and his feeding tube was flushed and clean before feeding him. 

Steve allowed him to use the bathroom and shower at night, under incredibly watchful eyes. The restraints Tony'd made were long enough to stretch the entire perimeter of their room, but Steve kept him on a short leash. Bucky had five minutes total - shit, shower, shave. If he didn't finish in time... There's always tomorrow. 

If he did, he'd get rewarded. 

Steve'd wrap him up in a large fluffy towel, carry him to bed. He'd bring back the sweet little reminders, with his hand around Bucky's throat. How much Steve loved him. How this was all for his protection. How Steve wasn't going to let anything happen to him, ever again. How proud Steve was of him, for letting him return that favor, even decades later. How well behaved Bucky was, how good he'd been for Steve.

Steve was so different from Hydra, too. That's what made it so fucking difficult to resist the love bomb-type conditioning. He wasn't the torture type - didn't like the idea of doing anything he didn't have to. Steve didn't want to hurt him, and Bucky knew that. He found it harder to reject Steve's advances the longer he was locked in that fucking room, found it harder to discern whether or not he... wanted... to reject it.  

He was Bucky's dialysis, and his drinking problem. 

He was Bucky's oxygen machine, and the cigarettes he'd smoked to earn him one. 

Steve could ask Bucky to do anything, ask him for anything... and he was powerless to say no. He'd tried. 

+//////+

It'd gotten him a flick to the mouth, for his hesitation. 

"When I ask you a question, love, you need to answer me. Do you understand?" The tears in his eyes nearly spilled over, sharp pain from his lips radiating into his nose and the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to answer. He wanted to leave. He wanted to run, to get the fuck away from Steve and the compound and everything. 

"Yes."

"Yes what, angel?" Steve might've been good about keeping his emotions checked in public, but Bucky could tell he was smug. Gloating. He enjoyed this. What'd happened to the sweet kid from Brooklyn that could barely hold himself upright? Bucky missed him. 

"Yes, Stevie. I’m sorry Stevie." Saying his name was painful. This wasn't his Steve. This wasn't the Steve he'd fallen in love with. Wasn't even the man that'd dragged him out from underneath that alien... How long ago? Months? Years? 

Bucky didn't know anymore. 

Didn't know why his friends hadn't saved him yet. Didn't know how his absence went unnoticed for... however long it'd been. Didn't know why he was struggling to be upset about it all. 

Steve, observant as he was, could practically see the gears turning in the other's head. He cradled Bucky's face in his hands, drawing him into calculated eye contact. Bucky felt sick. There was something... wrong, there. Something Bucky'd never seen before. 

"They don't love you like I do, Buck. They don't want you. They don't love you." 

Bucky flinched at the words, physically recoiling from Steve's grasp. He knew it wasn't true, he knew... He thought it wasn't, right? 

Steve's laugh pulled Bucky out of his own thoughts, bringing him back to the room in front of him. He had a display up, with various recordings of the rest of the Avengers. He flipped through them, muting and unmuting seemingly at random. 

"... I mean, he's probably ditched us for Zemo again. Would that really shock you?"

"he almost died again. I don't blame him, i wouldn't want to be found eith-"

"-e can take care of himself, let's just give him time."

Steve waved the holo display away when he saw the first few tears fall. "Don't you see, Baby? They don't care like I do - they don't love you like I love you. No one will ever love you like I love you." Steve's words stung, but Bucky couldn't deny that they made sense. Of course no one was looking for him. He was unpredictable, still kind of an outsider. Why would they try to come find him? Why would they care?

Bucky's mouth moved before his brain could stop him.

"'m sorry, Stevie, please, I'm so sorry! I-I- I thought they cared, please, please don't leave me Stevie! I was so wrong, Steve please! Wish I knew how to stop, Stevie, but you know I can't. You gotta help me stop Stevie, I've been so confused, been tryin' to quit you Stevie but I can't. Wish I could quit you but I can't, I can’t be left alone anymore. Please, you can take my arm if you want it, Stevie. Take anything, take whatever you want from just please, please don’t leave me alone anymore!"

He was in hysterics at this point, unable to believe what was coming out of him. Was he really okay with Steve taking his arm away? Did he really love this Steve back? Was he just scared?

The worst part was that he couldn't tell. 

+//////+

The smell of fresh coffee woke him before he was ready. His eyes burned, still dry after Steve refused to close the window before they went to bed. 

Bucky would have closed it himself, but he couldn't actually reach that far. 

They'd moved out to the cabin a few months after Bucky finally broke realized how wrong he was. It was a cute little place, big enough for the two of them but small enough to not draw attention if someone came upon it by accident. Not that they really could. Steve'd installed motion sensors five miles out, and had fully automated... solutions, in place, should any threats or issues arise. 

They went entirely unused. 

It really was a beautiful plot of land - they had a few animals, a cute pair of kittens to dote on and play with. He had enough room to move around, to sit in the sun or curl up in bed. He had plenty of books, games, anything and everything he could want to occupy his time, really. He had Steve. 

And breakfast now, apparently. 

Steve set the plate on the bedside table, gently sitting next to his lover and planting small kisses on his still shut eyelids. Bucky looked up and smiled, blushing at the hand that'd wrapped around his neck. He reached out, gently thumbing at the inside of Steve's wrist. Oh, how he'd missed this. Missed contact with his Steve. 

He opened his mouth, accepting the bite Steve offered him. Steve always made the best pancakes, he thought, appreciating the hot meal hitting his tongue. He hadn't eaten this good in weeks. It was hard for him to cook without his arm, but Steve always provided. Steve cooked for them, cleaned up after them, made sure Bucky was sated. Safe. 

He'd taken off for a mission nearly a month ago. A dangerous one, he'd said. One he might not return from for a while, he'd said. Bucky worried. He always did when Steve left, especially since he couldn't know where or why he was going. But Steve always came back to him. Sometimes, he was back in one piece. Once, he'd come home with an arrow in his stomach and several gunshot wounds. That'd been a... scary night. Another time, he came home with half of his hair singed off and his clothes in tatters. 

Last night... Last night he finally came home, and he looked like shit. 

He was covered in bruises, nearly 40 pounds lighter than he was when he'd left. There were holes in the shield, too large to be bullets but too small to be anything else easily recognizable. Some were through his suit, too - puncture wounds littering his chest and stomach. They were already partially closed, but he was still bloody. 

There were still webs in his hair, too - Bucky brushed them away after Steve closed (and locked. always locked.) the door. He knew better than to comment. Steve was just protecting him. Steve loved him, he was doing what he needed to keep Bucky safe. 

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. That each time Steve left for a mission, Bucky cried himself to sleep. He thought, eventually, that the pain would go away. That the death of each of his friends would get easier, somehow. That the fear, the hope, of losing Steve would stop consuming him. 

He'd just smiled, kissed his husband's cheek, and helped him strip down. He'd mouthed at the graze left on the side of Steve's neck, reverent in the presence that was his protector. Bucky'd developed quite the complex, in their time of isolation. Every time Steve came in - from cutting firewood, picking food from the garden, feeding the animals, or from nights like last... Bucky just couldn't stop talking. 

About how he wouldn't be alive without Steve. How he'd still be a mindless slave for Hydra, killing innocent people under everyone's noses. How he owed Steve his life, a thousand times over. How he'd've been taken by Ross or Stark or Clint or someone, and locked away miles under the sea. He'd pressed them into Steve's jaw like kiss-coated secrets, like no one in the entire world knew these things but Bucky & Steve. Like they were bits of information to cherish, to chew on and savour before swallowing. 

Steve just laughed, picking Bucky up and bringing him to bed. He followed shortly after, cleaning and patching himself up before snuggling right up to Bucky. 

Sleeping was interesting, initially, but they'd adapted. It was easier to cuddle Bucky without his arm, but sometimes Steve woke up with his legs tangled in loose chains by the footboard. It was an easy enough trade, in Bucky's opinion. Give up his arm, give up a bit of freedom, and get a loving, devoted husband in return? One that would make him breakfast in bed, one that would hold him and kiss him and praise him whenever he needed? One that would kill for him? Die for him?

Bucky saw it as a fair enough trade, and if that meant their friends needed to die... He tried not to think about it.

[endydancer1]

We used to be strangers | Part 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Y/N Lincoln

Summary: Tom has just finished his latest movie and his heading back home to London. While he is passing the high building, suddenly something happens what changes his life completely. What is the shadow up there?

WARNING: Mentions of injuries, blood, depression, thinking of suicide.

..................................................................................

Tom POV:

"Uhm.. Yeah, sure. I'll be there tomorrow morning. Is everything alright?" I asked quite nervous.

"Yeah, but someone wants to meet you."

I could feel her smile when she said that. My heart started pounding.

"O-Okay. I'll be there."

"Thank you. Goodbye, Mr. Holland."

"Goodbye."

I looked at Harrison, who was looking directly at me the whole time. "What happened? Does it have anything to do with the girl you saved yesterday?"

"Yes. I think... I think she is alive. Someone wants to see me. Maybe that girl wants to thank me or I don't know."

"Oh, right maybe she can thank you another way, Hm?" Haz winked at me and chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny, Harrison, I don't even know how she looks like. Her head was covered with blood. Why would I want to sleep with her?"

"Maybe because you are single like forever and you are like pain in the ass?! Like really Tom, just get fucking laid down already!" Harrison tried to sound annoyed but quickly he started laughing at me. I was quite shocked to hear him talking like this. Yeah, we were teasing each other all the time, even about our sex life, but Haz had never told me something like this. I wasn't mad at all. Maybe he was right.

"I know Harrison, but I've just never met a girl who would catch me like..."

"Like Anna, right? I know Tom. But... You should move on. It has been.. Almost 6 years already. It's time for you to date again, don't you think? To be happy with someone else? Seriously, Tom, my parents are starting to think we are dating. Not that there is something wrong with it, I love you, you are my best friend. But not like I would touch your pe... "

I nudged Harrison into the arm and started giggling." Alright, alright I get it Haz, stop talking about it. You're gross. "

We both were laughing for a good minute. I was happy to have Harrison. He was my best mate and supported me in everything.

After a few other games of Fifa, we went to our bedrooms saying good nights to everyone. I closed the door and jump into my bed. I was undressing myself slowly, recalling everything that had happened in the past two days. I was happy for the girl to be okay. Or at least I hoped so. I actually wondered if this girl was single. Harrison's words resonated in my head. Maybe... I should try to find someone and start to date again. I would lie if I told you I didn't miss all these things you do as a couple. But I have been single for 6 years and it wasn't that bad. I didn't feel sad and alone. I spent most of the time with my friends, I am sure that was the reason I weren't thinking about girls at all. But maybe it's time to change it. With these thoughts, I was slowly falling asleep.

The next morning I woke up very early. It was like 6 a.m. Boys were still sleeping, so I went to the kitchen quietly and made myself a tea. Couple of minutes I was only sitting there, scrolling Instagram,and drinking my tea. I liked few pictures of my fans with me. I always smile when I see all these kind words and the joy they feel when they meet me. I love my fans so much.

After I drunk my tea and my heart was almost melted, I relocated myself into bathroom to brush my teeth and to do my hair. I put on some casual clothes, took my keys from a car and went outside. Hospital was quite far from my home, so walking there would be stupid idea.On my way to hospital I stopped at the mall. I bought some croissants as a breakfast and also some flowers for the girl. I hope she will like them.I thought as I paid for the little bouquet of tulips.I didn't know what the girl liked,so I bought her a chocolate and some fruit too with the get well soon card.I put it all into my car and drove to the hospital.

Babygirl POV:

"Come here little girl, someone wants to meet you. Don't be shy, come on!"

I was slowly walking down the stairs.I was scared. My little body was shaking. My hands were holding onto staircase railings tight.

"Hey, babygirl, don't be scared. We just want to meet you." Not so young man smiled from the downstairs. I slowly came down the stairs, eyes darted to the ground. There was one of the nurses with a couple.

"These people would like to adopt you.Say hello to them.They are excited to meet you.You needn't to be scared.They won't bite, will them?" she joked and looked at them. They chuckled and nodded their heads saying no. The man knelt on his one knee to be at the same level as me.

" Hi. I am Sam. I heard a lot about you. This is Chloe. My wife. We have two kids, a boy, Matthew, who is a bit older than you. He is 8. And we also have a girl, Melanie, who is younger than you. She is only 2. They are really nice and can't wait to meet you. So what do you think..Will you come with us? "he smiled warmly and held out his hand for me. I was standing there quietly. Thinking. I wasn't ready to go with them.I would never be ready. I wanted my mommy back. Her face was still in front of me. She was crying,hugging me tightly. It felt like it was yesterday when she had abandoned me. But she didn't want to. I knew it. She said it to me.

"I love you, babygirl. You know it, right? I would never do this if I hadn't to. I want the best life for you and I can't give you that right now. I promise you, I will come for you, when the time is right."

"Mommy, I want to stay with you. We can go to Daddy. I know he loves you. And maybe me too.."

"We can't, baby. He doesn't know about you and I can't tell him. Promise me something, please. Don't be mad at me. I need to do this. I love you so, so much. You are my world. But I wouldn't be a good mum for you. I promise you, honey, I will come back for you. One day, we will meet again. Bye, my love. I love you more than Severus loves Lilly." She kissed my forehead one last time and put me into nurse's hands.

I love you more than Severus loves Lilly. I will always remember these words.

My eyes started watering and tears formed in my eyes.

" I.. Want my.. Mommy back." I cried.

Y/N POV:

"No, no, no! This can't be real. This has just not happened. Please, no. Omg! I need to..I need to go..Please..NO!"

Someone's hand woke me up from the nightmares. I tried to open my eyes, but quickly closed them again. The light in the room was so strong, it hurt my head.

"Ouch! Can you.. Can you please.. Turn off the lights. It's too strong.Please." I begged the person who held my hand.The person let go off my hand and dimmed the lights.

"How do you feel, Y/N?"A familiar voice asked me. I managed to open my eyes a bit. I saw Neil sitting next to me, holding my hand.

"N-Neil? What are you doing here? Where.." I looked around. I recognized this room. I have spent there every minute. Every day, week, month, year.. I spent there most of the time, trying to save lives of my patients and now I am lying there, as one of them.

" What has happened to me? "

" You fell off the building. One young boy saved you. What did you do there? What happened Y/N? Tell me, please. I was worried about you." He squeezed my hand. I looked at our hands and then into his eyes. He was so worried. His hands were shaking and his eyes gleamed from tears. His lips were parted and about to say something again.

" I... " I gulped.

" Dr. Melendez, we need you! There is a girl with the deep cut." Claire, the resident, urged him out of the room. I was thankful for that.I wasn't really in the mood to explain anything to him. I closed my eyes for a bit and took a deep breath. Only a few seconds after they left there was a knock on my door. I signed.

"Come in."

The young boy appeared in the door. He had  curly brown hair, hazel eyes and.. He wasn't tall at all. He was young. Probably he was less than 20. But he looked familiar. I had seen him before.

"Ehm.. Are you... Are you Y/N Lincoln?"

"Yes, that's me. And who are you, may I ask?"

"I am Tom. Tom Holland. I... Saved you, when you, when you... fell." He was so nervous. Aaw, it was kinda cute. He was a cute young boy.

"Oh, so it was you. Come in, please." I invited him.

He closed the door and came to my bed.

"Uhm.. I.. Bought you flowers. Hope you will like them."He handed me a bouquet of tulips.

My eyes lit up.

" They are for me? Oh, thank you so much. They are my favourites. They are beautiful. Thank you. " I kissed his cheek. This definitely made my day better.He blushed immediately.

" I am glad you like them. And this is also for you. Hope you feel better. Is everything alright? "

" You are so nice, thank you. And thank you for saving me. " I smiled at him. His cheeks were still red.

"You're welcome. I couldn't leave you there. I am happy that you are okay now. So... The nurse called me yesterday that someone wanted to meet me. So.. I assumed it was you. So...do you need something?" he looked at me and his eyes were running down my face, from forehead to my lips. He stopped there for a little while and then came looking back into my eyes. It was strange. It felt like I had seen these eyes before.

" Uhm.. It's nice to meet you, but... It wasn't me. I've just woken up."

A/N: Let me know what you think about this story so far and what you think about the new character - babygirl. Sorry for my English, it's not my first language and I am new with this. So I would be happy and thankful about the feedback. Have a nice day! 😊

[bunnyishh]

yogurt and honey

A/N: Something random I thought & I love a family dynamic with the Avengers

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader.

Warnings: Cursive language and Fluff

Summary: You’ve had a shit week and Cap ate your last yogurt. 

(GIF NOT MINE)

It’s the weekend and you had the most shittiest of shitty weeks ever. Your project failed for the second time this week and Tony being the genius he is tried to help you but you pushed him away because Tony, this is my project. I’ll come to you when I need help and you could just tell he has ideas and advice that he wants to give you but you’re persistent and stubborn and Gosh darn it, Tony. Please! 

And he left you alone, Friday is a great help. The AI gives you everything you needed and more and you appreciate that Tony lets you use Friday but the project still failed and your deadline is coming up soon and you could just imagine the disappointed faces the council would give you and you pondered on maybe you should have Tony give you his advice. 

“Cmon buddy, let’s get some rest; maybe eat some yogurt?” You hear Tony behind you, he’s chewing on some dried blueberries and leaning against one of the metal tables of the lab. You sighed, slamming the pen in your hand onto the table and quickly tore off your glasses to pinch at the bridge of your nose. The migraines would be settling in soon. 

“Friday.” Tony speaks 

“72 hours and 38 minutes, boss.” Friday responds.

You roll your eyes and turn around on the stool and Tony just gives you that annoying but understanding look. “Cmon, if I say you need rest then you really need rest.” He continues and there’s a satisfied smirk plastered on your face when you oblige and nod at him. 

You two slowly make your way down the hall and into the elevator. “I hate to admit it but I could really need some of that advice you were about to give me” You say and Tony just taps the elevator button with the tip of his pen. “Oh, the advice before you had rudely pushed me out? Saying something about how you don’t need it?” He teases and you groan at his response. 

But his teasing doesn’t stop until you enter the common room of the Avengers headquarters and your jaw drops and heart sank because is that Captain America eating your last yogurt?

“Oh crap..” Tony speaks, his lips stretching into the most awkward smile as he makes his way towards the soldier and pats his shoulders. “I think you’re eating y/n’s last yogurt.” He whispers into Cap’s ears before gesturing towards the tiredless soul behind them. 

Cap peaks at you, he feels the guilt hit him as he saw how upset and tired you are. Nat remains seated on the loveseat, exchanging glances at Steve and you before laughing because no one dares to touch your food.

You’re the second youngest and the newest member of the team and you’re treated like family now. Nat likes to call you the teams “baby girl” and Sam and Bucky teases you as “little girl” but they all Knew you could pack your own punch. It may not be physical and you lack the combat skills that the team has but you have your ways around. 

But right now, you stood there sensitive and tired and Tony reeled you out of the lab with tempting yogurt but Cap stood before you with a half empty cup in his hand and there’s guilt plastered on his face. Bucky and Sam sat awkwardly at the island in the kitchen with exchanging glances. 

“Sweetheart, I didn’t mean too.” Steve talks and he steps forward but you step back. You admit, you are being dramatic but your week was so shitty and so damn annoying and that yogurt was all you wanted and really needed. 

“Come on, we’ll buy you a whole fridge full right. Friday?” Tony speaks as he pats your shoulder.

“Sorry boss but that yogurt is sold out...”Friday speaks and you close your eyes in frustration and everyone in the room panics because oh no, Cap you fucked up. 

Everyone anticipates your reaction because they know how you are. You’re a young prodigy trying your hardest in this technical world all while trying to save it. And no one expects a kid to save the world and Nat sometimes wishes you could just live your youth how you should but you remind her that this is what you want. You don’t go out much and when you do its only out in the field, your only friends are the Avengers and Tony always tries to keep you inside and out of danger. You don’t require any super power but you do have a running brain and you’re honestly the best on the offense side and anything that deals with computers and systems. Sam likes to call you the Avengers Personal Computer. aka APC. 

But all you do is grimace at the soldier standing before you and you hand him the pile of papers that were in your hand before turning on your heel and briskly make your way back to your chambers. 

“You’ve done it now, Steve.” Nat says as she stands up from her loveseat and makes her way to the fridge to grab herself a drink. Sam and Bucky laughs to themselves and Steve just sighs and his frustration and guilt still plastered on his face.But before he could respond, Friday is alerting them for a lead and everyone glances at each other briefly before they see you running to the control room and everyone suits up. 

“Alright Friday, let’s kick ass.” You say. 

On the mission, you kept silent most of the way and Clint tries to question it and Bruce listens. “What’s wrong, princess.” Clint speaks and you sat there in the control room with your arms folded against your chest and you respond reluctantly. “Cap ate my last yogurt..” 

“Oh...” He says and you could tell he’s laughing but he doesn’t say anything. But on the way back from the mission, everyone teases Cap for eating the team baby’s yogurt and there’s nothing he could do about it. Caps frustrated at first because he didn’t know you’d be so upset over yogurt and Tony reasons with him. 

“She’s had a tough week and I was able to seduce her out of the lab with yogurt that you so happened to eat, cut her some slack” Tony hums, Clint nods in agreement and Nat just chuckles. 

“You owe her now.” 

And when the team returns back from a successful mission, Cap makes his way towards your room. He’s hesitant at first but he knows he owes it up to you and knocks on your door. You open it to be greeted with a freshly showered Captain and you groan because he smells so good but you decided to keep it to yourself.

“What do you want, Cap?” You question and he glances at the door causing you to sigh and you open it wide enough for him to enter. You plop yourself onto the bed and he joins you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his nose against your neck. 

“I’m sorry, doll.” He hums and his voice vibrates against your neck and you slowly wrap your arms around him. “It’s alright...” You say, dragging your words and he chuckles against your skin before looking up at you.

“I thought there were more..” He reasons, trying to justify his actions but you click your tongue and shake your head before pinching his cheeks. He looks so torn and serious as he laid against you and you didn’t expect him to be upset that he ate your yogurt. 

“I’m sorry for being dramatic.” You hum, carding your fingers against his thick blonde locks. “No, I get it. You were tired and Tony told me that’s what got you out the lab.” He explains, shifting your position to where you lay on top of him with your cheek pressed against his muscular chest. 

“Once it’s up for sale, I’ll get Tony to buy you two fridges full.” He says, hands roaming against your back as he starts to slowly massage you. You hum as a response, eyes already closed and your breath starts to slow. He feels your body get heavier on top of him and he smiles; satisfied that he’s got you to fall asleep. He reaches over to switch off the lamp next to your bed and covers the both of you with your fluffy blanket and he drifts off to sleep. 

In the morning, you woke up to an empty bed. Caps imprint still remains there meaning it wasn’t too long since he left. You wrap yourself with your blanket, keeping you warm and cozy before you’re padding your way towards the common room. You feet pad against the cold floor and your eyes grew wide when you finally see it. 

Two new red fridges are installed in the kitchen filled to the brim of your favorite brand of yogurt and snacks. Your lips part in surprise and your blanket drops to the floor. 

“Morning, babygirl.” Nat says behind you and you hear the tiredness in her voice as she nonchalantly makes herself a cup of coffee. Bucky and Sam follow suit, there’s an amused smirk on their faces as they see the expression on your face. 

“Sweetheart?” You hear Steve behind you and he wraps his arms loosely around your waist and your back presses hard against his chest. He smells like shaving cream and you melt against him. 

“Alls forgiven?” He questioned, pressing a soft kiss against your cheeks. 

“Alls forgiven.” You smile, turning around to jump on the tall muscular man and presses soft kisses against his face before crashing your lips onto his. 

“Oh gross! Not here man.” You hear Sam scream behind you. 

[dumbbitchenergy17]

I’m sorry (Part 1)

Based on this Imagine check out the link HERE

Summary- You are Michael’s vessel as you are dean’s kid and letting him use you instead of your dad

Dean x daughter!reader 

Word count- 2,599

“Who are you?” You stuttered surprised that the angels fighting you all collapsed dead.

“Michael.” The voice calls out seeing a man walk out from the fog a shadow of broken and torn wings slowly disappears. He wore a dirty coat with dark shirts and pants covered in dirt and blood from his victims.

“You’re a murder stay back.” You yell pulling out the angel blade our dad gave you for your birthday. A flick of his wrist sent your blade flying and you held in place fear began to course through your veins. ‘Why didn’t you bring someone with you’ you thought.

“I’m not going to hurt you why would I hurt my perfect vessel.” He smirked running a finger down the side of your face. “Dean’s your vessel I’m nothing.” you frown staring back at him.

“You share the Winchester’s blood making you perfect. I have an offer.” He smirked releasing you, taking in a breath of relief. “What do you want from me.”

A smirk graced his face.

“All right, let’s go!” Sam yells leading everyone to the portal that was slowly fading these included Mary Maggie and Bobby and many others that were the very last of the population.

“Come on. Come on.” Dean guides everyone through the portal while most of us stood by in case any angels showed up. “Let’s go. Single file.” Sam states.

Lucifer comes even with Gabriel and stops, hearing a loud boom. Sam and Dean join the two archangels and look skyward.

 A flaming ball is approaching from the sky. It hits the ground in a violent explosion, blasting three of the remaining survivors off their feet including you sending you flying.

“Y/N!” Dean yells seeing you hitting the floor the wind getting knocked out. More fireballs fall killing the last of the survivors. Gabriel puts his hands up to protect his head, but Lucifer just watches passively. 

Lucifer recognizes the fireballs as an angel attack. Sam raised his weapon trying to peer through the dust that has been kicked up by the explosions. While Dean ran towards you helping you up “You okay Y/n?” he says but there is a loud ringing noise as he pulls you to your feet putting most of your weight on him.

We see Michael. Michael’s wings are unfurled, showing as shadows against the dust. He walks towards us, curling his wings back up and making them invisible again as he walks.

“Gentlemen and lady,” Michael says starnig at all of us. Lucifer steps forward, “Lu. You don’t really want to try this again, do ya?” he says arrogantly

Lucifer shrugs “Um...Yeah.” They nod at each other, then Lucifer’s eyes glow red and he flings his hands out, blasting Michael with invisible power. Michael is knocked back a few steps but stays on his feet. We all look surprised at how little effect Lucifer’s attack had. Michael casts a bluish-white ball of power at Lucifer with one hand, then another. It knocks Lucifer to the ground where he moans in pain, a bit of blood coming out of his mouth. Michael smiles at Lucifer, but then looks up and notices Gabriel.

“Can it be? Gabriel?” Michael shocked 

Gabriel looks at us Winchesters and takes a step forward. “Go. I can buy some time,” he says a small smile on

Sam shakes his head “Gabriel, don’t-” Gabriel cuts him off “All I did on Earth was run. I’m not running anymore.’

Gabriel takes a few more steps forward and Michael smiles cruelly. Gabriel takes one more look at us “Go!”

Dean beginnings to leads you guys to the portal feeling suddenly dizzy not noticing that you were bleeding falling. Only for Dean to pick you up bridal style “Hey babygirl keep your eyes open.” “Dad..” you mumbled your head tilting back. 

Dean carrying you pulling Sam towards the rift, but they stop just before it placing you down as Sam puts pressure on your wound, eyes turned back to watch Gabriel’s fight with Michael. We see an archangel blade slide out of Michael’s coat sleeve and into his hand. Gabriel raises his own archangel blade and moves into combat position. Gabriel lunges, Michael deflects, Gabriel tries a backswing, but Michael blocks then slam a fist into Gabriel’s face, knocking him back. Gabriel seems shaken, but Michael is grinning.

Gabriel turns back to the battle and Dean and Sam watch anxiously, steps from the rift as Sam keeps the pressure on your wound. This time Michael lunges at Gabriel who blocks the swing then powerfully punches Michael in the face.

Michael staggers back, wiping the blood from his lip, but he seems enthused not beaten. Gabriel throws some wild swings, but Michael just dodges. Gabriel tries again, but Michael catches his arm this time, twisting it and forcing Gabriel to drop his archangel blade. Michael stabs Gabriel through the torso. Gabriel screams, blue light streaming out of the wound and out of Gabriel’s eyes and mouth.

“Gabe! No!” Dean goes to charge forward but Sam holds him back. Showing him you as you are barely holding on.

Michael watches with glee as Gabriel’s light flows out of him. Then Gabriel’s body slumps forward against Michael. Seeing that Gabriel is dead, Sam urges Dean towards the rift as Dean picks you up heading through.

--------------------

Sam steps up to jump through the rift but stops just in front of it, a determined look on his face. He turns back to see Michael slide Gabriel off his blade and onto the ground. Gabriel’s eyes are open and unseeing. Michael stares down at his dead body. Lucifer staggers to his feet clutching his arm and makes for the rift, but Sam stops him grabs him by the throat.

“Sam, what are you doing, man? I’m hurt. Please”. Lucifer coughs out

Sam growls out “How did you think this was gonna end?”

Sam shoves Lucifer until he falls to the ground. Sam takes a look at Michael who has noticed him and then turns, quickly jumping through the rift. Michael sees the rift starting to close behind Sam.

“No. No! NO!” Michael screams out

The rift closes just as Michael gets there. He looks around, furious and frustrated and sees Lucifer on the ground in front of him. Lucifer seems resigned.

--------------------

Back at the Buker, you’re sent to get help from some people from the apocalypse world who were doctors. You're dad right by your side the last thing you see is your dad’s face before darkness consumes you.

No one’s POV

Mary pulls a beer bottle out of a box and hands them out. Bobby is beside her looking at the lit map table. The survivors are standing around drinking and talking. Cas and Dean are in the doorway to the Library with Charlie. Jack is hunched against the frame of the doorway near Dean. He is holding a bottle but looks upset, not happy like the rest of the room’s occupants. Ketch is sitting at the other side of the door. Sam is leaning against one of the old-fashioned computer consoles with a glass of whiskey in his hand, talking to Rowena who is sitting in an office chair. Rowena’s head is in her hand, still obviously very tired.

“It kept closing. I couldn’t keep it open another five seconds.” Rowena said

“Well, you did it, Rowena,” He says looking appreciatively around the room, “You got us all here.”

On the other side of the doorway, Charlie and Ketch clink glasses as if in a toast. Jack sits on his side of the doorway, looking despondent.

Sam smiles at Rowena “We owe you one.”

Rowena looks up at Sam with a fond smirk. “Don’t think I won’t collect.” Sam just smiles at her and they raise their glasses in a toast. 

“Gabe-he’d been on the run for so long... He sacrificed himself. He’s the reason Sam and I got out.” Dean sighed he mind flicking from Gabe to his daughter that was still asleep

Sam steps up the few steps to join Cas and Dean. “We owe him everything.”

“What about Lucifer?” Cas asked

Dean shoots a look at Sam who keeps his eyes on his drink. “Sam handled it,” Dean answered

Sam looks up and meets Cas’ eyes for a second, nodding before looking back down. Dean looks over and sees Jack, sitting alone and looking sad.

“All right, listen up.” Bobby gains everyone's attention he’s standing across the room, partway up the metal staircase, glass in hand.

“We made it. Don’t know much about this place, but it’s a place without Michael, so that’s a turn for the better. I don’t want none of you goin’ soft on me because we are going to get ourselves ready and go back home and set our people free.”

A chorus of cheers come from the crowd of survivors who raise their drinks.

“He’s been here for five minutes. Look who’s taken over the joint.” Dean joked talking to Sam and Cas

“While we’re celebrating, let’s not forget our brothers and sisters who didn’t make it. They will never be forgotten, and we will do right by them.” Bobby continues

“And now a toast to our new brothers and sister -- Sam, Dean, and Y/n Winchester. Thanks. Welcome to the family.”

“Sam and Dean! Welcome.” The survivors cheer

Sam and Dean raise their glasses in salute to Bobby. Dean sipped his glass until mary came up to him “She’s awake.” Dean places his glass down heading off to his daughter’s room.

--------------------

Sam, Jack, Dean, and Cas were off on a hunt as they stood outside a boathouse

“How many are inside?” Sam asked loading up his gun “I can hear three. Wait, maybe -- maybe four. They're talking about whether Kylie Jenner would make a good mother. The consensus is no.” Cas says

“Yeah, well, that's why I'm a Khloe man. All right, we're talking werewolves,” Dean takes an ammo clip out of his pocket and loads his gun. Then he gestures towards Jack, “which means...”

“Silver bullets.” Jack answers

“That's right. So, you know the play. Let's do it to it.” Dean said cocking his gun

They all walk towards the boathouse. A man exits and struggles to light a match for his cigarette. He turns his back and continues to struggle with the match. When he turns back Castiel stabs him with an angel blade. The man's eyes turn green and fangs descend from his gums. Inside the boathouse, two men are drinking beer and laughing

“And that...that is why I'm a Khloe man.”

Sam, Dean and Jack bust through the door. The men’s fangs descend as the jump up out of their seats. Jack holds out his hand and holds them back as Sam and Dean shoot the men several times.

--------------------

“So, you really like rain?” Mary chatted both her and Bobby holding umbrellas

“When it's this beautiful, I do.” He answers “So what are you gonna do now?” Mary asks

“Honestly, I got no clue. Everyone seems to be settling in okay in town. Ketch is out doing Ketch things. Rowena and Charlie are roads tripping it through the Southwest.” he states

“That's trouble.” Mary grins

Bobby laughs “Ginger trouble -- the worst kind. Anyways...without an archangel, it's not like we can go back home. And I'm not sure I'd want to. I...I like it here,” Bobby looks down as if embarrassed and notices something on the path, “Is that...”

“Blood,” Mary answers both smiles dropping

They follow the blood further until they get to a large blood-streaked rock. On the other side of the rock a young girl is lying on the ground, blood along one side of her head

“Y/n.” she gasps

--------------------

“Jack...” Dean sighs��sitting on the edge of Jack's bed “it's not about being strong. I mean...Look, I don't know what you saw over there, and I don't know what you went through. I know it was bad. But I also know that you came out on the other side because you are strong. But even when we're strong, man, things are gonna happen. We're gonna make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Right? But we can get better. Every day, we can get better. So whatever you're dealing with, you know, whatever...whatever comes at us, we'll figure out a way to deal with it, together. You're family, kid, and we look after our own.” 

Sam runs towards Jack's door, holding his cell phone.

“Dean?”

Dean looks up, sees Sam's face tears in his eyes and gets very concerned

“What's wrong?” He asks

Sam, Dean, Castiel, Jack, Bobby, and Mary are standing around the young girl lying on the ground. Sam is behind Dean.

“I-I... I said I'd protect her, and, ...” Dean said emotion gone his precious girl gone before she had a life.

“Stop, Dean. This isn't your fault.” sam tried to reassure his brother

“What happened to her?” Dean asked his voice harsh

“I don't know. Doesn't look supernatural.” Mary said tears already stained her face her only granddaughter dead.

“Looks like some son of a bitch beat on her until...” Bobby frowned

“Who would do something like this?” Castiel said he watched over all the Winchester the world needed all of them and they just lost one.

In the bunker, Dean is walking around a young girl sitting at the table his face dark tears drained from his face.

“Word is, you're friends with Y/n,” he growled

“Uh, yeah, since we came over. Me and y/n, we didn't have anybody else, so we kinda stuck together.”

Sam, Castiel, and Jack are also around the table

“So I'm sure you know she went out last night. Well, she didn't come home.” Sam asked his eyes also red.

“Um...is Y/n in trouble?” she asked

“She's dead.” Dean spat out

“She...No, that's not...We were supposed to be safe here.” She stuttered Sam placed a hand on her shoulder “We need to know where Y/n went, who she was talking to.”

“I don't...There was a boy.” She said

“What boy?” Dean growled

“Nate. He works at that store out on Route 281. Y/n, she had a crush. That's why she snuck out last night. She was going to meet him.” She says

“All right, well, let's go talk to this boy, Dean,” Sam says Sam turns around and dean is gone. Jack and Castiel turn around in their seats looking for him, “Dean?”

Inside a convenience store, a boy is stacking shelves while listening to music with earbuds in. He walks into another aisle and Dean walks towards him and grabs him around the throat, lifting him into the air

“Why'd you do it?! Tell me!” He barks out

“I-I didn't.” Nate whimpered

“Liar!” He yells

“Dean! No!” Cas yells Castiel grabs Dean's shoulder to pull him away. Dean punches him sending him falling. “Dean?” Jack looks at him

“Let him go.” Sam calmly says

“He killed Y/n.” He replied

“Y/n? Y/n's dead?” Nate looking at the two wildly “Dean, listen to me. He didn't kill Y/n.” Sam says, “Look at him.” Dean lets him go and walks towards the exit and Castiel goes to follow him “Dean!“ Sam grabs Castiel's arm “No, hey, just -- just let him go.” The lights begin blinking as the store starts shaking and rumbling “You need to go. Now.” Sam yells at Nate

A loud piercing noise accompanies the shaking and Sam, Jack disappears and Castiel cover their ears

Jack appears in the middle of the woods he hears a fluttering sound and looks around to find Lucifer standing on the path “Hi, son.”

[smilingstony]

Don’t Take My Sunshine Away

Summary: After the events of Civil War, Y/N Rogers-Stark falls into depression with Tony being the only thing she has left until he too is gone.

Pairings: Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader, Steve Rogers x Daughter!Reader, Platonic-Avengers x Reader, Peter Parker x Sister!Reader, Divorced-Stony, Engaged-Stucky, Engaged-IronStrange

Warnings: Mental Illness/Depression, Self-Hate, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts

Author’s Note: My first Female!Reader insert is angsty as hell (sorry). This One Shot focuses on real problems that I’ve struggled and still struggle with so yeah, if anyone wants to talk I’m always here. Some contents in this text could be triggering to some, more warnings will be placed before and after the attempt is over.

You didn’t think anything of it when you found out your father, Steve Rogers, found his long lost friend Bucky Barnes. He told you plenty of stories about Bucky, and honestly you were eager to meet him.

What you didn’t expect though, was your father ditching his family to search for him and then leaving once he found out his ‘feelings’ for Bucky never went away.

You didn’t expect the huge fight that occurred when The Accords came and your fathers chose different sides.

You wish you would’ve known that would’ve been the end to their marriage.

It’s been four years since the so called ‘Civil War’ and your parents were happily divorced, though, in your eyes, things just became increasingly worse.

Your favorite Aunts and Uncles which included Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Sam, and Vision were all gone. Natasha and Sam in Wakanda with Steve. Wanda and Vision somewhere in a different continent and after Clint had been freed he lost all contact with Tony.

A year after the divorce your parents had a huge custody battle which ended with Harley leaving with Steve and you and Peter staying with Tony.

Two years after the divorce you realized you would never see your little brother and other father ever again, in those two years your father also met Stephen Strange, a former neurological surgeon, who was also a powerful sorcerer.

Fours years after the divorce your father, Tony, announced his engagement to Stephen while Harley somehow managed to contact you and Peter to let you guys know Bucky and Steve we’re getting married.

The worst thing within those four years was the distance you felt growing between you and your once happily makeshift family.

You didn’t speak to your aunts and uncles, neither did you speak to your father but Tony and Peter, they were here and yet you still felt yourself barely saying anything more than ten words to them.

It hurt, how easily everyone forgot about you, Tony was so wrapped up in his upcoming marriage and Peter’s new superheroe alias Spider-Man that you were sure he forgot he even had a daughter.

You weren’t bitten by a radioactive spider. No. Instead you were just a measly human someone who longed for the attention and love only her parents and family could give her.

The worst thing within those four years was the depression you found yourself slipping into, it was self-diagnosed of course, and since you had your fair share of smarts you were sure you weren’t wrong, the accompanying loneliness didn’t make it any better.

The bad thing about it was you had no idea how to deal with this alone. You wanted to go to Peter, Tony, Stephen, or even Rhodey but you didn’t wanna be a bother. In your eyes they didn’t even care about you.

The first suicidal thought came on your birthday. You didn’t get any phone calls. Not one and Tony nor Peter acknowledged the fact that it was your special day. Your big 18, the first step into becoming an adult. You cried in your room that night, alone, and even though F.R.I.D.A.Y offered to call Tony or Stephen you refused, thinking that they’d be better of without you.

The thoughts became normal after that and after a while you refused to keep fighting, refused to fight the demons that seemed to be there even when you tried your hardest to make them go away.

It was the marking of the fifth year since your fathers had been divorced when you decided you couldn’t take it anymore. Your once angelic (skin color) skin looked as pale as your white walls, your once healthy full body was thin, and your once lively eyes looked almost dead. You might not have been dead on the outside but you sure were dead inside.

(EXPLICIT DESCRIPTION OF SELF-HARM HERE)

You twirl the sharp blade in between your fingers being almost welcomed by the comfort that your life world soon be over.

The first cut is a test, just to see how sharp the blade the is. You hesitate and almost on cue that same terrorizing voice is back.

“Just do it Y/N. They don’t want you anyway, no one wants you here.”

The next cuts are deeper, a deep enough cut on each wrist, that in your opinion, will be enough to end your life with no chance of reviving.

(Description over)

A knock on the door is clear in your near death haze.

“Hey (your nickname) Dad told me to ask you if you wanted to join us for dinner. He says you’ve been out of it lately and just wants to spend time with you. He wants you to know he’s here.”

Tears roll down your face at Peter’s words and for a brief second you panic.

Was this the right thing to do? Should you have cut so deep?

Peter’s next words are a distant sound as your body hits the cold tile that fills the bathroom’s floor.

You aren’t sure what happens next, but you hear shouts to “stay with me” and “I’m so sorry sweetheart” which more than likely comes from Tony, before you’re out like a light.

When you wake up your head is fuzzy and your body aches, the bright light from whatever room you’re in nearly blinds you as you try to take in your surroundings.

Steve is holding your right hand tightly while Tony is squeezing onto your left hand so tight it’s as if he thinks that if he lets your hand go then you’d go too.

Peter is sitting in a chair next to Tony while Harley sits in one beside Steve. The rest of the room is filled with other sleeping Avengers like Nat who has her head rested on Sam’s shoulder, Wanda who sleeps comfortably in a longer chair with Vision, Clint who’s sitting with his head rolled back and if it wasn’t for the slight snores then you would be sure he’s dead.

What surprises you the most is the presence of Bruce and Thor who, by the way, has a new haircut. The only people you don’t see are Stephen and Bucky and while you’ve grown used to Dr. Strange, you still have a burning hatred for Bucky, for if he hadn’t suddenly appeared than your parents would still be together.

At the sight of your family in the same room together a sob spills from your lips and once one gets going the other ones follow almost like a waterfall.

Tony is the first one who wakes up from your cries, then Steve and pretty soon the whole room is awake.

Harley engulfs you in a hug which makes you cry even harder, he’s way bigger than what you last remember him from since the last time you’ve seen.

You aren’t sure how long you cry for but when you pull away the other Avengers have tears in their eyes that you never would’ve thought of seeing ever in your life.

Heat rises to your cheeks at their intense gaze making you turn away in shame. “I’m sorry.” You whisper, your throat relatively hoarse.

“What? No. No, no, no. This is so far from your fault Y/N. We aren’t angry with you or disappointed. We just wanna know why Babygirl, why’d you turn to suicide of all things?” Tony voice cracks when he questions as if he’s afraid of your answer.

And so you explain to them. You explain how, even though you don’t want to, you hate Bucky for ruining everything for you all. You explain how even though you’ve accepted that your parents will never get back together how it hurt that they never even bothered to keep contact for you guys’s sake. You tell them how you’ve missed them and how you’ve missed the makeshift family they once were. How after your parents divorce things just seemed to go downhill for you, you also explain that you generally got your hopes up too high when you expected Steve or your favorite aunt, Natasha, to call you for your birthday or New Year’s.

But most importantly you tell them about the loneliness and never stopping horrible thoughts that came with being and feeling alone, that not having anyone around who knew about your depression was no better.

When you’re finished you aren’t surprised with the slamming of a door.

You look up to find Tony gone and Steve following after him quickly, most of the others are already in tears from your story and the guilt you know they’re feeling.

Peter and Harley who know stand side by side give you watery smiles that are quick from breaking.

“Don’t cry.” You tell your brothers before they’re pulling you into a group hug with the two of them, your shirt getting soaked in the process.

“I’m so sorry sis. I’ve should’ve noticed. I should’ve said something. I was right there and... .” He gasps his eyes trailing away from you and you know he’s thinking about what could’ve happened.

It doesn’t take long before Tony and Steve come back red eyed and sniffling.

“I-We haven’t been good father. I see that now, but I promise Y/N we’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again. To show you that you aren’t alone and we know, there’ll be days when your so far in that you feel like you have to try to commit suicide again but I promise you that we’ll be there to pull your right out of the hole you fell in.”

You don’t respond and instead enjoy the group hug from your family. You know this whole process won’t be easy, especially getting along with Bucky but your willing to do this if its what will take to get better.

This was pretty angsty and I’m sorry it covered such heavy topics, but I once again want everyone to know, whoever’s reading this, that you’re not alone and if you ever need someone to talk too or just a listening “ear” I’m here.

[holylulusworld]

The Italian touch – Part 10

Request: Could you write a dean x reader virgin series? She's not so skinny, have curves and take place in leviathan period? She's in her twenties and bobby kinda adopted her she's not American but Italian and alone in the world? Please

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam, Charlie Bradbury

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

The Italian touch Masterlist

Previously...

While you tried to get in touch with your ‘ghost dad’ Sam and Dean discovered Frank disappeared, which means he got killed while trying to help you bring Dick Roman down.

You had a little reunion with Bobby after discovering he is bound to his flask. Means Dean was pissed, you cried a lot and your father, well he was grumpy but happy to talk to you again.

Meanwhile, an e-mail arrived Sam’s account, telling you someone stole Frank’s hard drive inheriting all information about Sam, Dean and you.

Now...

This is how you ended up in Frank’s van in front of Richard Roman Enterprises to infiltrate the headquarters of your archenemy with the help of an innocent girl not knowing about the evil in the world.

“Anything yet, Sam? Did she enter the building?” You ask using the binocular to watch the building. Charlie still stands in front of the door, frozen to the spot. “I don’t like that plan one bit. What if the poor girl gets caught and eaten?”

“Charlie agreed after we told her what’s going on. We lost Frank, our only trump card and they have the hard drive with all the information about us and what we found out so far.” Dean whispers as he nods at Sam who tries to calm Charlie.

“Involving another person is stupid, Dean. Frank is dead as we asked him to investigate Dick’s business. Do you want more blood on your hands?” Snarling the words, you can see Dean flinch as if you hit him. “Sorry…dad’s death is not your fault, it’s that monsters.”

“It is our fault, Y/N. We should’ve stopped Castiel way sooner. Now Bobby is dead, Castiel is useless and on top of all, we lost Frank. We need this girl and the information she can get us.” Dean gently rubs your back, loving you lean into his touch.

While Sam tells Charlie something about Hermione from Harry Potter you focus on watching the poor nervous girl pacing in front of the building. “Dean, we got a problem…dad…”

“What?” Handing Dean the binoculars you sigh.

“The flask, he smuggled it into her pocket, Dean.” Watching Charlie glance at the door Dean curses. 

“Sammy, tell Charlie about the flask and to not lose it. Call it a lucky charm but minus the part of Bobby traveling with her.” Glancing at his brother Sam nods before he tells Charlie about the flask and she takes a drink from it.

----

Charlie finally enters the building, nervously chewing on her lip she walks past a security guard. Still not knowing how she got herself into this kind of horror show she walks toward the elevator.

While Sam presses a button on the laptop so that the footage of the empty elevator will play on a loop you and Dean check the security footage.

Charlie meanwhile tries to ride the elevator to level 11, still not knowing if she can do this she presses the button, taking deep breaths.

“I’m in. I've always wanted to say that.” Charlie whispers and you laugh at her comment, giving Sam a thumb up.

“Alright, Charlie. Stay cool, move and be careful.” Dean takes over and you continue watching the security footage to make sure you can warn Charlie.

Panting Charlie emerges the elevator, flatten herself behind a wall when she sees a security guard.

“There’s…” Stammering Charlie glances at the guard. “A guard up here. What do I do?”

“Wait till he leaves or something.” Dean deadpans but sadly the guard sits down to read a magazine and Charlie huffs.

“He's not going anywhere. Reads a magazine that lazy guy.”

“Do you know the guy?” Your eyes drift toward Dean, not knowing why he asks Charlie that kind of question right now.

“Probably. What’s that to do with our situation? I don’t think he will let me pass only as he knows me, Dean.” Charlie exhales.

“What you're going to do is to flirt your way past.” Laughing you shake your head at Dean’s suggestion. “Trust me…”

“I can't. He's not my type, Dean. Not at all.” Charlie answers and Dean rolls his eyes.

“Fake it then…” 

“He’s not a girl…”

“Fine, pretend he has boobs and looks like Angelina Jolie or something. Just do it…Guys do this all the time and it works.” Dean smirks as you slap the back of his head. “Not with you, I swear.”

“You better not…” 

“Worse…” Charlie cuts in. “That guy with boobs…” Shuddering Charlie glances at the man, not knowing how to pretend she’s into him.

“Alright, give me this…” Taking over you glare at Dean. “Start with a smile, lick your lips and giggle while you introduce yourself….”

“What?” Eyeing you suspiciously Dean moves closer, poking your side. “When did you do this with a guy?”

“Gosh not me, Dean. There was this popular girl at my high school and I still remember how she drove all guys crazy. Now let me bring Charlie through this, okay.” Dean gives in, grinning as you wiggle your eyebrows.

“Smile, straighten your back and stick your tits out. Imagine it’s someone hot, someone, you want to pin to your bed.” Silently groaning Dean watches you talk to Charlie, not wanting you to stop.

Charlie slowly walks toward the guard, licking her lips she smiles while listening to your advice. The guard approaches her and she almost giggles at your comment…get him, tiger… 

“Throw your hair back, right hand on your hip and slide your fingers over his chest. Admire his muscles even if there are none. Lie and tell him you like strong guys…” Dean gulps as he moves closer to watch you smirk at him.

“Y/N…”

“Ask him out for a drink but make it look like you want him to invite you, guys don’t like too feisty girls. Now lock eyes with him and purse your lips.”

While you guide Charlie through the awkward situation Dean doesn’t take his eyes off you. In theory, you know how to seduce a man, but you never used your knowledge.

“She’s in…” Lost in his thoughts Dean barely recognized Charlie was able to enter Dick Roman’s office thanks to your advice.

“What?”

“Charlie, she made it. That girl is a natural…” Face flushed you look at Dean who leans closer to capture your lips in a soft kiss. “What was that for?”

“For not acting like one of those girls, for being yourself around me.” Now you peck his lips, smiling as Dean appreciates your true self. “I love you the way you are.”

“Guys, we’ve got a problem. Charlie send me something about a delivery for Roman tonight. We should get the package before he does.” Sam disturbs your romantic moment with Dean as he shows you an e-mail.

“Maybe this is finally something we can use against them, Dean. We should try to get it, Sam is right. I can stay here just in case something happens and you two get the package.” Pointing at the e-mail you miss the expression on Dean’s face as he shakes his head at Sam.

“No. You will go with Sam and I’ll stay here. I will not let you run into the building and do anything stupid to save Charlie, Y/N. I will not lose you too.” Dean exclaims, not accepting any argument.

“Dean, Charlie got this. She’s back at her office and told me she needs time to erase all data on the hard drive either way. No one got suspicious, Roman is away. We’ve got time to get whatever Roman wants and bring Charlie out save.” Sam wants to leave right away but you shake your head.

“One of us needs to provide back-up. We let the poor girl walk in there, all alone knowing most of the people in there are Leviathans. I’ll stay at the van and make sure she gets out safely.”

“Damn, I’ve got one stubborn girl. Fine. You and I will get the package. Sammy stays here and calls us if needed. As much as I hate to admit it, but Bobby is with her and he might be useful.” Glancing at Dean you sigh heavily, not wanting to leave Sam alone.

“I don’t like the plan a bit…” Biting your tongue you follow Dean outside. “Don’t you dare to do anything stupid or to die Sam Winchester.” Pointing a finger at your friend you nod before you follow Dean.

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