#sorry science teacher but I don't understand anything that include numbers

[atlantis-just-drowned]

I love how I though I'd be extra-busy after going back to school for my senior year and using my queue would be absolute necessity to keep my blog alive, but actually I'm just... chilling. Not really paying attention to boring teachers who repeat themselves during hours.

I'm like I'm sure it'll be fine lmao.

[gunilslaugh]

Hey :]

Its my first time that I have a request for you so I don't know if you wrote this before🙈

But my request:

Could you maby write a enemy to lover fanfic with Jooyeon x Y/n?

Maby that both if them meet in the same school and realized they were in the same class and they sat on one table.

And they had to do a group project and there they were a lot together.

I hope you can write it with my bad instructions🙈😅

Thank you <3

Hope you have a good day/night ^^

You explained well, no worries :)

Lee Jooyeon

Summary: Lee Jooyeon disliked you and disliked him. When you’re not only forced to sit next to him, but also be his partner for a project how will things unfold?

WC:1.5k 

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner The first time you met Jooyeon was on the first day of school. You were walking around a corner when you suddenly bumped into someone.

“I’m sorry,”

“I’m sorry,” you both said at the same time. Now taking a glance at the boy you just ran into.

“Guess it’s a bit of a blind corner,” you said awkwardly.

“Yeah, guess so. I’ll be on my way now,” the boy said just as awkwardly before walking away. 

Later you find out that the boy’s name is Jooyeon, since you shared a class together. How this first awkward interaction took a turn for the worse you're not too sure yourself. You suppose it started when you two were assigned to sit next to one another. Maybe it was because he instantly chatted with his friend Jiseok across the aisle or the way his right arm would always invade your space on your desk. Not to mention his annoying pencil tapping that claimed to be “great music”. Perhaps it was that no matter how many times you politely asked him to stop or at least tone it down he never did. Telling you that I wasn't doing anything that bothersome. Mayhaps at first he truly didn’t think he was being bothersome, but now he definitely knows that these actions bother you and continues to do them on purpose just to make you mad. The one thing you don’t understand is why. What could you have possibly ever done to him?

“Class,” the teacher called everyone's attention about ten minutes before class ended. “We’re gonna be doing a group project and you’re going to be working with your shoulder partner. Come up with a topic and submit it to me by the end of class, so I can approve it,” the teacher explained. “Oh also don’t ask me about switching partners sometimes you have to work with people you don’t like in life, be mature about it,”

“Great,” you sarcastically told yourself.

“I think it’s just great too,” Jooyeon said, matching your sarcastic tone.

“What topic do you want to do?” you asked, trying to be civil.

“I don’t know, you pick,” he told you. Perfect he’s already no help you thought.

“How about color theory?” you suggested.

“What’s that?” he questioned.

“It’s the science and art of using color. It explains how humans perceive color. It’s also about matching, mixing, or contrasting colors. It also includes messages that colors communicate,” you thoroughly explained to him.

“Sure, sounds interesting, let's do that,” he agrees quite easily. Something you didn’t quite expect him to do.

“Ok, I’ll go submit it,” you say as you write your name and his name on a piece of paper with your chosen topic on it.  You handed it over to the teacher. They briefly looked at it before giving it a check mark indicating that you’re good to go.

“We’re all set,” you say, returning to your seat.

“Cool, give me your phone,” he says

“Why?” you quiz.

“For the project. We need to communicate,” he stated obviously.

“Right here,” you say as you pull out your phone and unlock it. Pulling up to create a new contact. He does the same before you exchange phones. You simply type in “y/n” as the contact name before adding your number. When you exchange phones back you see that he typed “Jooyeon 😃” as his contact name. You wondered what the smiley face was about, but chose not to say anything about it. It probably didn’t mean anything.

The bell rang dismissing class and you went about the rest of your day normally.

After arriving home from school you went to your room and did whatever work that you had to get done. Following completing your work you grabbed your phone and debated if you should text Jooyeon about the project or not. You had two weeks to do it and the teacher was giving you time to work on it in class tomorrow, so there wasn’t anyneed to rush. Although it appeared Jooyeon had similar thoughts to yours since your phone lit up displaying his contact name with the simple message “Hi” succeeding it. You waited a few minutes before responding back mirroring the previous message “Hi”

Jooyeon 😃

Any ideas on how we should do the project?

Y/n

I was thinking we could do a slideshow

Jooyeon 😃

Sounds good 👍

Let’s sort out the details tomorrow

Y/n

Ok 

You didn’t expect Jooyeon to be so cooperative about the project. Definitely thinking he would be stubborn and unaccommodating. It's a pleasant surprise though and it makes you think maybe he’s not as bad as you thought.  

The proceeding day, you headed to your shared period with Jooyeon, but something was different this time. There wasn’t the slight feeling of dread knowing that you would be annoyed by Jooyeon’s antics for the majority of class. 

You walked into class and took your seat, pulling out the materials you needed for class. 

“Hey,” Jooyeon greets you as he takes his seat beside yours. His greeting takes you back a bit. You’ve never really greeted each other before.

“Hi,” you greet him back nonetheless. The teacher gives you the whole class period to work on the project. You and Jooyeon sort out the layout of your slides and decide who will do which ones. 

“I’m free after school if you want to work on the project more,” Jooyeon brings up.

“I’m free too. Do you have a place in mind?” You say.

“My house isn’t far from school, but if you’re not comfortable with that we could just work at the library…My house has snacks though,” he sounds like that awkward boy you bumped into on the first day of school.

“I like snacks,” is your answer.

“Great, let’s meet outside this classroom afterschool then?”

“Sounds good,” The both of you work on the project for the remainder of the period.

Once the final bell of the day rang you made your way to meet Jooyeon. When you arrived he was already standing there leaning against the wall. Just as he saw you approaching he stood up and walked towards you meeting you halfway.

“Ready?” He questioned.

“Ready,” you replied. You followed his lead as he walked out of school and began walking in the direction of his home. Upon arriving at his home he told you that you could set up in the living room while he grabbed the snacks. You made your way to the living room pulling your laptop out of your bag and other materials you had that were related to the project. Soon Jooyeon made his way into the living room with various snacks in hand. You guys made yourselves a little set up on the floor and began getting to work.

“Y’know we actually work well together,” you spoke.

“Did you think we wouldn’t?” He probes.

“We usually just annoy each other throughout class so I didn’t expect us to no,” you respond.

“Each other?” He questions your word choice “I’m usually the one annoying you,” he continues.

“I just thought my presence alone annoys you,” you tell him. He laughs at your statement.

“It doesn’t,” he informs, still slightly laughing.

“Then why do you always annoy me?” You interrogate.

“Because I’m stupid and bad with feelings,” he admits.

“What?” you ask, wanting him to explain more.

“Remember the first day of school when we bumped into each other?” He queries. You nodded your head yes. “Well I thought that you were really pretty and that made me nervous so I quickly left. Thinking it’s fine I probably wouldn't see you again, but then we had class together and even had to sit next to one another,” He stops for a moment to look at you. All you do is gesture for him to continue. “I really didn’t mean to annoy you at first. I have a tendency to tap my pencil when I’m nervous and the arm on your desk was because I wanted to be closer to you,” he reveals. 

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” you ask.

“Like I said I’m stupid and since I knew that I already annoyed you I thought it was too late I guess I don’t know really,”

“You think I’m pretty?” You teased him.

“Stop!” He groaned, hiding his face behind a paper that picked up from the floor.

“How about this?” you question him.

“About what?” He asks for more clarification.

“After the project. Let’s go on a date,” you declare.

“Seriously? Don’t play with me,” he tells you.

“I’m not,” you chuckle lightly at his reaction.

You and Jooyeon aced the project and the day after your guys date the pair of you entered the classroom holding hands.

“Woah. What’s that?” Jiseok questions pointing at your interlaced fingers.

“It’s a thing couples do,” you reply.

“Couple!?” he shouts surprised.

“I’ll tell you later,” Jooyeon tells him as the pair of you take your seats happily beside one another.

[plantanarchy]

do you think you could talk a little about being autistic? im wondering if i might be autistic and im still not sure bc i like pass as neurotypical rlly well so far and i thought it would help to hear about actual people's experiences. you don't have to though and im sorry if this is weird!!

This has been in my inbox for a bit, I’m sorry! But yeah, I can talk about it. Keep in mind that everyone’s experience is different and its less of a “spectrum” from mild to severe/low to high functioning and more of a complex where different people have different experiences. A lot of people use functioning labels to dismiss the experience and opinions of “high functioning” folk when it comes to being autistic because tjey “don’t seem autistic” or “aren’t like those other low functioning autistic people”, but really “function” is relative and can even change day to day… on someone’s bad days they could be totally nonverbal rocking back and forth and on good days pass better at neurotypical than I do…

Ok so, I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was ~10. I was essentially non-verbal in school and other high stress social situations and had been since I was very very young. This was interpreted as “very shy!” despite me having severe difficulty from a young age in saying anything at all to teachers, doctors, church people, even many of my peers, etc and often feeling like i was physically unable to speak but you know… because I spoke at home and with my neighborhood friends, I wasn’t considered non-verbal at all. Or I guess selective mutism is the correct term which is something I definitely still struggle with. Like when I was in middle school, I spent a few years literally being known by my mom’s friends and by some people at school as “Meep” because thata fuckin all I could physically say when somebody tried to talk to me haha

BUT ok that got away from me, point being: i was diagnosed with Aspergers at a young age which is a diagnosis that no longer exists/has been absorbed into the greater Autism diagnosis. Aspergers was separate for a long time because it was basically used to say “these kids are high functioning and different than those low functioning non communicative kids!”. Basically because I had most of the “cool and good” autism traits, my “not as cool and kinda crippling” autism traits and needs got shoved aside and essentially ignored for a long, long time. Which I think happens to a lot of kids! Even to the point of not getting a diagnosis at all or getting a wrong diagnosis and only realizing later in life what may be going on and what was missed.

Whoops before this becomes a bitter tangent, back to my experience of autism I guess. Ok, so on top of still being selectively verbal/mute (some days are worse than others and sometimes it isn’t even directly anxiety related it’s just a mostly mute day), my other symptoms include 1) it’s almost physically painful to make eye contact with anyone 2) formal social situations are beyond me, I never know what is correct or what’s coming next and usually I survive informal social situations by cracking jokes and making weird references to shit or being obnoxious and just accepting the label of “weird ass obnoxious kid but that’s just bre” 3) usually feel like I’m just two steps away from understanding what’s going on in some social situations lol like sometimes i have good intuition, can read people, can guess at what they’re thinking and then something happens that makes me question my entire interpretation of the situation and I realize maybe I wasn’t reading them correctly the whole time!!!! It’s the social equivalent of being the only one to get a wrong answer on a math problem and frantically rechecking your work lol 4) sensory overload yayyyyy when too many things happen at once (which can be like… 2 thing), I zone out and feel like my environment is unreal or blurry (fun and cool dissociation) and I can never predict what will cause that overload or when but also a lot of people have the very dramatic “autistic child screaming from sensory overload” image in their brain and thats not always accurate… my overload results in shut down 5) also along with that, I have sensory issues such as texture, sounds, etc. Certain fabrics as a kid would legit make me cry if I touched them or if my mom made me wear them (WINDBREAKERS ARE SENSORY HELL) and that still happens lol also with stuff like… chewing sounds, shoes that touch my toes in any way, loud music/bass, etc 6) along with that and with sensory overload… stimming. Stimming is basically a self-regulatory response to overwhelming stimuli and plenty of non-autistic people also do similar things when faced with high anxiety situations. Like foot jiggling, pencil tapping, nail biting, pencil chewing, etc it’s basically a soothing compulsion and not always something many autistic people can control without great effort and that control comes at the cost of not regulating anxieties or sensory overload well. I’ve got and always have had a lot of verbal/language stims and am very reptitive in my speech and writing patterns (y'all and lad anyone???) which is kinda self soothing. I have literally always had catchphrases. When im on my own i also do rock baxk and forth and other repititive body motions, also fidgeting with objects, especially cool round objects 7) catalog all the useless info in my brain!!! I can memorize information very well (not numbers though) and when I was a kiddo that got me labelled as #gifted and I was “savant” level in reading and writing but that is less cool and fun to people than beinf a math or science savant or something. 8) anyway related to that, as evidenced by this blog, I get VERY INVESTED in certain topics/ “special interests” to the point that it eclipses all other thoughts in my brain yay!!! Which isn’t a bad thing, I mean it gets me through and also if you have “good” special interests, people think you’re smart and interesting and ask your advice about stuff lol

Symptoms I don’t have that a lot of people think of when they think of an autistic person 1) I am horrendous at math I fuckin hate it numbers are the devil!!!!!! 2) 99% of my humor is sarcasm and I can understand it and figures of speech lol though sometimes i do get it wrong if i can��t read you otherwise 3) I don’t have “zero empathy”, I can feel for the plights of others VERY strongly, and can usually see any (most) POVs if it’s explained to me

There are others probably and there are certainly autistic people who have thise traits and who have different traits than I have. There are LOADS of different ways to be autistic. But also, there’s a lot of overlap between autism and between other things like ADHD, anxiety disorders, etc! So keep that in mind. Some people are strongly anti-selfdiagnosis of autism but knowing how easy it can be for kids who don’t present 100% stereotypically to slip through the cracks, I am all for it. I pass a lot of the time as neurotypical and can do most society things ok, though I have a steep learning curve compared to others… and with passing as neurotypical comes the frequent dismissal of my opinion on autism related topics and the lack of acknowledgement that actually I often DON’T pass as neurotypical and at those times my lack of passing is interpreted as rudeness, deliberate lack of effort on my part, stubbornness, lack of intelligence, lack of professionalism, an assumption that I’m angry with someone or don’t like them, etc etc. It’s an endless, awful cycle!

And I don’t really have too much personal advice for figuring out if you’re autistic or not… I did go through a point in time where despite being diagnosed I strongly denied that I was autistic and kind of had to come back to that as a near adult and realize nope… definitely autistic. And then knowing what to do with that info once youve figured it out is just… I mean there’s not much. There are little to no resources for autistic adults, very few support groups made up of autistic people and led by autistic people, very little resources directed at autistic people themselves in general, usually the focus is on the parents or guardians and talk aboit autistic people as abstract concepts… whoops, can you tell I’m bitter haha gonna end this before I go full “mental health professionals failed me and I’m a mess” etc