#sorry ive not been doing more fish art ive been trying to catch up on some videogsmes

[thelaughingmerman]

I liked his little bow. I wanted to draw something similar.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing 23-29 May 2021

I’m so on the ball with this lately... >_> Sorry. Here’s this week’s roundup! May 23rd - 29th!

Remember to give your content creators some love! Be sure to join in on the events at the bottom! And remember to send in any new works you see or make next week!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

The Preventer Calendar https://archiveofourown.org/works/31561295

Gen, Reader, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Zechs Merquise, OC - Character

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Humor, Partial Nudity, Reader-Insert, Nudity, A teeny hint of TrowaxReader, Rating because of some gratuitous nudity on Trowa's side

Twelve models, twelve shoots, twelve different locations in the Ardennes, and all of it in two fucking days. Because Preventer couldn’t spare you their agents any longer than that.

Why had you agreed to do this project again?

It's all for the arts.

boxofhatebrains

Helping Hand https://archiveofourown.org/works/31620146

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Light Angst, Comfort/Angst, Minor Injuries, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Not Gundam Wing: Frozen Teardrop Compliant, after series, Flirting, Not Beta Read, slight reference to Episode Zero, Swearing

Duo realizes that Heero comes around whenever he damn well feels like it. They’ve been in contact for the last seven years after the Mariemaia incident, but generally at Heero’s own whim. Duo stays in the same place, it’s Heero who gravitates.

This time is no different.

@duointherain

Silent Menace https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/652120818915115009/fic-silent-menace-11

1x2x1

Warnings: Mute Duo. Drugged and injured Heero.

Une always had the dark side of the job. She’d let others give out goodness, but bad news she owned herself. Duo had come to the conclusion that she was trying to take responsibility, trying to be a decent person. He could vibe with that.

@lifeaftermeteor

Touched by the Stars (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314657/chapters/77885468

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei, Chang Wufei/Quatre Raberba Winner

Explicit, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, thar be porn, Dubious Consent, Aliens, Alien Abduction, Alternate Universe, mention of MPREG, everyone takes a turn with Wufei, alien anatomy and interesting dicks, Tentacles, Monster Boys, Slime, Double Cocks, Cum Inflation, Knotting, Oral, multiple dicks, Xeno, Spitroasting, Oviposition, Body Modification, Polyamory, Unbirthing, Triple Penetration, Cervical Penetration

University instructor Chang Wufei didn't even believe in aliens, much less intentionally attract their attention. But that doesn't mean much when they decided he'd be the ideal final mate for their group and scoop him off of the planet to take home to their queen. Enjoying him on the trip there, of course. 

@noirangetrois

Of the Sea (Ch. 10) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749670/chapters/78205124

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, fairytale my way, Meroctopus!Dorothy, Slow Burn, Multi POV, POV Third Person Limited, merman au, MerMay, Fantasy Politics, mentions of abuse, Unnatural November

Heero Yuy will soon be reaching the age of majority, at which time he will ascend the throne of Wingaria. Before such time, he must needs choose a bride. But what if there are no good choices? What if someone else has captured his heart?

The Story of Wrong (Ch. 8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13849020/chapters/77856332

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Duo POV, Angst, Drama, Tragedy, Spoilers, very dark, Heero and Duo don’t die, I promise, Yaoi, slowburn, Mental Instability, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, If those are in any way an issue for you then go ahead and skip this, Eventual Smut, VERY eventual, this is mostly canon-compliant but I’ve changed a couple things here and there

Duo recounts his experiences during the war in order to explain… well, why he was wrong.

simulacraryn

love me like (tomorrow we’re) stardust https://archiveofourown.org/works/31458119/chapters/77811359

M/F, Treize Khushrenada/Lady Une

Treize Khushrenada, Lady Une, Original Characters, Hot Dog (gundam wing)

Explicit, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Angst, Near Death Experiences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, unredeemable villain, Sex, Smut, consent is fucking sexy, Spoiler: He wore the Astro Suit at last!, Newtypes (Gundam Wing), no predators or prey here, intact brains

The World Nation would face off against the White Fang to bring about an end to all conflict between the Colonies and Earth. The plan had called for the bitter end of the last bastion of the old regime, Treize Khushrenada. However, as with every play on the stage of war, the actors have chosen to adlib. Effectively throwing the course of history off the rails, the director finds himself faced with a new road to choose.

@zaganthi

Jiu Jie https://archiveofourown.org/works/31413956

M/M, M/F, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell; Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Relationship Negotiation; Polyamorous Character; Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Aged-Up Character(s); Newtypes (Gundam Wing); Past Relationship(s); Jealousy; Awkward Flirting; Bathing/Washing; Cuddling & Snuggling; Museums; talking about feelings; Psychic Bond; Dealing with exes; Ex Sex; Colonists exploring earth

Hilde waved goodbye as she left and Duo went to look for Treize and Quatre. What the hell was wrong with him. His body seemed to be saying yes but his mind was definitely not in that space at all. What the everlasting hell was going on. He wanted to see her again but why?

Treize passed him a picture of tree frogs, apparently feeling the confusion as Duo half jogged through the aquarium to catch back up. What the hell. Just what the hell.

It took him a while to get there, but the moment he got close, Quatre saw him, beamed a happy smile and the link opened up with a rush and he was surrounded again in emotional warmth. It was addictive and a relief, and there wasn’t, there wasn’t any recrimination from either of them. Just run off and see an old flame, it’s cool, we’ll be here when you get back vibes.

Lebensmüde https://archiveofourown.org/works/31413278

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Aged-Up Character(s); Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Newtypes (Gundam Wing); Preventers (Gundam Wing); Cameos; Therapy; Aftermath of Torture; Aftermath of Violence; Rape Aftermath; Physical Disability; Gratuitous Smut; Psychic Bond; Psychic Abilities; Domestic; Injury Recovery

Treize remembered the discussion of gunpowder residue on his head; it was one of the things John had been livid about after everything, and unable to explain any more than Treize had at the time. Seeing it written down… was something else. Treize closed the book over his finger, gently tapping it on his thigh as he looked up at Quatre.

“The first hot chocolate of the season,” Quatre said sitting down next to him, comfort flowing over the link. “I really wanted something sweet.” He paused. “I can feel something is…oh.” He noticed the book in Treize’s hand.

“Adding to the list of things we need to probably talk about,” he said quietly, contemplating it as he reached with his other hand to take the cocoa. “Have you written everything up?”

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@2pcbart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31618103

Recollect - Trowa/WuFei, comic style

@alphaikaros

https://alphaikaros.tumblr.com/post/651358650733150208/little-angry-boi

WuFei Chang, fanart

@bettertasting

https://bettertasting.tumblr.com/post/652303436314017792/something-spicy-for-the-dash-im-really-digging

Heero/Duo, fanart, nsfw

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/652089738925359104/%F0%9D%98%9B%F0%9D%98%A9%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%97%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B7%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%B5%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B3-%F0%9D%98%9E%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A5-%F0%9D%98%A4%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8-zechs-merquise

Tallgeese, gunpla

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/652448694036316160/sd-wing-gundam-ew

Wing, gunpla

@judaru

https://judaru.tumblr.com/post/651257960922857472/im-20-years-late-but-ive-been-reading-a-lot-of

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@keiko1183

https://keiko1183.tumblr.com/post/652327422940807168/completed-with-pencils-might-be-doing-the-acrylics

Trowa/Quatre, fanart

@not-so-dead-fandoms

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/651085636504272896/mermay-01

Heero Yuy, fanart

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/651494132071661568/mermay-02-duo-as-a-betta-fish-merlad

Duo Maxwell, fanart

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/652283083819810816/mermay-03-of-course-i-made-trowa-a-clownfish

Trowa Barton, fanart

@pineappleglazedham

https://pineappleglazedham.tumblr.com/post/651759824584966144

Trieze/Une, fanart, fanfiction, playlist

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@clair-audients

https://clair-audients.tumblr.com/post/652114120696594432

Wing & Altron, gif

@disturbed02girl

https://disturbed02girl.tumblr.com/post/617456995130294273/thoughtful-quatre-thursday

Quatre, manga page

@meggie-stardust

https://meggie-stardust.tumblr.com/post/652350439669547008/same-energy

Epyon is an icon.

Fandom Discourse:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/651423437954433024/a-homage-to-the-reader-insert

Reader Insert Homage

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/652076342033170432/shinigamis-coming-to-town-d-duo-just

Duo Maxwell, doujinshi

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/652102805897805825/in-the-groupchat-trowa-why-tf-do-we-have-20

Trowa & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/652356366558806016/heero-yeah-but-as-far-as-plans-go-this-is-not-a

Heero & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/651830976331251712/duo-gesturing-to-heero-dont-worry-weve-got-an

Duo, Heero, & WuFei

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine

Rhythm Generation 2021

Meet the Mods: https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/636708854145613824/come-on-over-a-meet-your-2021-zine-mod-team-head

Check out the blog for the Zine schedule!

@gundam-wing-pride

Gundam Wing Pride 2k21 https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/648237909672083456/incoming-transmission-faq

A Beautiful Rainbow of Prompts https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/649898271517573120/a-beautiful-rainbow-of-prompts

@gwartserver

Month of WuFei https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/649995521569767424/month-of-wufei

Shooting Stars (online convention) https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/650013463432888320/once-upon-a-time-lifeaftermeteor-and-myself

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, !

In need of Summer/Fall(Autumn) prompts!

(I’ll um... fix these when I have time to find more prompts.)

@gwlemonyshenanigans

May 23rd’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/651999227800600576/may-23rd-submission

May 24th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652131130827571200/may-24th-submissions

May 25th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652252350922342400/may-25th-submissions

May 26th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652312096032342016/may-26th-submissions

May 27th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652433653693136896/may-27th-submissions

May 28th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652434486286548992/may-28th-submission

May 29th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652648408588353536/may-29th-submissions

Friday Spotlight! https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652439213602684928/the-lastspotlight-friday

@oztober-rust

Welcome to Oztober Rust

We’re an up and coming Gundam Wing event with a slight twist! This page is still a work in progress, but you’re welcome to join us over on discord and get a feel for the event.

Have discord, will fan. https://oztober-rust.tumblr.com/post/647568110262566912/i-see-a-nice-and-steady-following-we-do-have-a

@seasons-of-gundamwing

Summer Event Voting https://seasons-of-gundamwing.tumblr.com/post/646220556727877633/seasons-of-gundamwing-okay-wingers-its-time-to

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/644080386309275648/events-calendar-update

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out!

[mrpenguinpants]

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring. 

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

---

Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 

---

I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 

---

This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 

---

I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 

tiny fang appreciation post. 

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 

THE FAMOUS SLAP 

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 

---

In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 

[pomegranateanarchist]

things about the lightning thief musical

[hysterialevi]

Abraham - A RDR2 Fanfic

Fanfic summary [NO SPOILERS]: Lyle Morgan and his eleven-year-old son have a conversation about Beatrice’s death, only for the boy to witness a second one.

Warning(s): Mild language

Author’s note: Bear with me if not everything in this story is correct. I’m not entirely sure where Arthur’s originally from (all I’ve heard is that he’s from somewhere in the north), so I just made something up lol. Also, this fic will only be one part. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

From Lyle’s POV

A FOREST SOMEWHERE IN MONTANA

SUMMER, 1874

Strollin’ through the tall, thick grass, I led my mount around the forest at a casual pace while my son sat on top, consumed by his journal as always. It was an hour or two before midday, and right now, there was a radiant blanket o’ sunshine bathing the entire forest, painting everything with a golden tint. It was beautiful, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day out here...but this feeling of annoyance just wouldn’t stop naggin’ me, and I knew exactly why.

I briefly glanced over my shoulder, peering at my son as he scribbled something down in the weathered pages of his journal.

A quick sigh escaped me.

I didn’t know who the hell Arthur got his interest in art from, or why Beatrice even bothered buying him that book, but that child just couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from it. Every time I came across the boy, he was always scratchin’ down some fantasy world of his, or creating images of a utopia I ain’t ever seen. It was pointless.

He spent more time daydreamin’ in that book than he did playing outside, or hunting, or fishing -- hell, he didn’t even know how to read -- and yet, Beatrice seemed perfectly content with it.

Or at least...she did.

Beatrice weren’t around no more. She was killed by bandits a few months ago. Robbed. Left on the side o’ the road for the crows to feed on. But Arthur didn’t know that. Sheriff told him it was a wild animal that took her. A wolf, to be exact. And he believed him.

I dragged a hand down my face, suddenly feelin’ exhausted just thinking about it.

Had I done the right thing, not tellin’ Arthur the truth about his own mother’s death, I wondered? I figured the kid didn’t need to know the morbid details, or even the entire truth, but I still felt like a piece of shit for not revealing the full story -- especially considering that them bandits who killed Beatrice...killed her ‘cause of me.

I had stolen something from them. Somethin’ valuable. And before it fell into their dirty hands, that “something” apparently belonged to a rich plantation owner who really wanted it back. Ended up gettin’ one of the bandits hanged, and left them thirsty for revenge. But they didn’t have the strength to go after the plantation owner. So, they came after me instead.

They chased me for quite a while. They chased me across the mountains, across the swamps, across the goddamned snow...until finally, they came to their senses and realized there were much better, more convenient ways of hurtin’ me. And thus, their paths diverted to my wife and son.

Those bastards managed to corner her while she was ridin’ to town to do some shopping. Found her on some secluded road between here and the nearest settlement, and ensured she would never return. That was when Arthur went lookin’ for help to find his missing mother hours later, and the sheriff assured him a wolf had gotten to Beatrice.

Christ. I really was a terrible father, weren’t I? Not only did I pay more attention to a bottle o’ whiskey than my own wife, I had also neglected Arthur for years on end, and indirectly gotten his mother killed. And the boy was only eleven.

He had spent half of his life not knowing a damned thing about where his daddy was, or even what he did, only to lose the one parent he already had before he could find out.

Lord...there had to be some way to make this up to him.

I looked back at the boy, suddenly feeling an urge to say something -- anything -- to him.

“Arthur,” I called out, catching the kid’s attention as his head perked up from behind the journal’s pages, “put that damned book away for a moment, will you?”

The boy hurriedly marked his place in the journal with a pen and shut it closed, resting the object on the saddle’s surface as he hung his head low in shame.

“...Sorry, sir.” He murmured.

I shook my head, lettin’ out a concerned breath.

“You spend far too much time in that journal. It was a mistake to buy it.”

Arthur’s eyes wandered to the trees towering around us.

“I’m sorry, dad,” he apologized timidly. “But I like drawing.”

I scoffed. “Yeah? Well, I like Poker. But I ain’t got time to play it. Too busy worryin’ about survival, and keeping the both of us fed. You can’t always do what you want, Arthur. You gotta provide. Things like drawing, gambling...they’re frivolous. We got better things to worry about.”

The child quirked a brow. “Friv-uh-less...? What’s that mean?”

“It means we don’t need to do it,” I explained. “What we do need, however, is to eat. So put that journal away and keep an eye out for deer. You was the one who suggested we come out here in the first place.”

Arthur frowned in a discouraged manner. “Yes, sir.”

I gave him a stern nod. “Good boy. Now...you said you seen a big buck out here?”

The boy pointed ahead. “Yeah. It was by the river.”

I gave the reins a little tug, urging my horse to follow me. “Then that’s where we’ll start. C’mon, Boadicea.”

Continuing our little hunting trip, Arthur and I traveled deeper into the lively woods as creatures of all types scurried around us, rustling blades of grass and alerting the tiny insects that hovered above the plants.

There was a rather peaceful mood to the forest today -- a welcome change considerin’ how chaotic my life usually was -- and I had to admit: some part of me enjoyed being here with Arthur. I rarely ever got to see the boy because of my work as an outlaw, and when I did, he always seemed reluctant to leave the house. Whether that was because he was more of an indoors person, or simply ‘cause he weren’t eager to spend time with me -- I didn’t know. But it was good to be with him regardless.

Approaching the large river, I came to a temporary halt as I crouched down and examined the ground, carefully searchin’ for any tracks that could’ve possibly led us to the buck.

The area here appeared undisturbed -- save for the fish flopping in and out of the babbling water -- and as far as I could tell, there weren’t no deer running around this section of the forest. Not at the moment, anyway. Maybe they were at a different part of the river.

I took a closer look at the grass, only to be torn away from my thoughts when Arthur raised a question.

“Dad?” He asked softly. “Can I...can I ask you something? About momma?”

I paused, thrown off-guard by the sudden change in tone.

“Momma?” I repeated, slowly turning towards the boy. “Why you wanna talk about her?”

Arthur’s expression sank with sorrow.

“It’s just...you knew her better than I did. Or longer, I guess. And I don’t remember her that good. ...Do you?”

I gazed at him in a puzzled manner, admittedly still a bit taken aback by the abrupt question.

“...Clear as day,” I replied, unwilling to sift through the painful memories. “But that don’t matter. She’s...she ain’t coming back, Arthur. No one does, once they die. Ain’t no point in lingerin’ in the past when it can only haunt you. All we can do is move on. You understand?”

Clearly a bit hurt by my response, Arthur dropped the subject and averted his eyes from me, peering over at a nearby gathering of flowers instead.

He slouched despondently. “...I understand.”

That wasn’t good enough for me. I took a step towards him.

“Look at me when you say that, Arthur,” I demanded. “It’s important you look people in the eye when you speak to them.”

The boy brought his line of sight back to me, his face veiled behind a very subtle layer of fear.

He straightened his back a bit. “I understand.”

I nodded in approval. “Good. Now...let’s get back to huntin’ this buck. You sure it was around the river?”

Arthur gazed around. “I saw it this morning when I was playing with Copper,” he confirmed. “It was drinkin’ water right here. That’s when I came to get you.”

I observed the dirt underneath me, squinting my eyes as I searched for clues. The grass in these parts was quite thick, so that made it even tougher to spot fur, or dung -- and I still didn’t see any deer tracks -- but it certainly looked like another animal had been around here.

I kneeled down, shuffling the grass outta the way with my hand.

“It looks like some wild horses might’ve passed through this area,” I examined. “But no sign of deer. Oh, well...the day is still young, and we have some time, so we’ll keep looking.” I gestured to a nearby bridge. “Let’s try over there.”

Grabbing my horse’s reins, I continued to guide it through the woods as Arthur scouted the area for me, his big blue eyes scanning the sharp horizon while the sun escalated in the sky. There was a certain determination in his temperament now, and the longer we carried on trying to locate this buck, the more my son seemed to be enjoying himself.

Perhaps there was hope for us, after all.

“...Dad?” The boy called again, making me flick my eyes to the side. “What if there are wolves out here?”

I encouraged him to stay calm. “Now, don’t you go worryin’ about that. If we see wolves out here, we’ll be fine. We’re armed, we’re fast, and we’re smart.”

Arthur wasn’t convinced. “...Momma was smart.”

I sighed in a melancholic tone at that. “Yes...she was. But...Momma was killed by a different type of wolf.”

He tilted his head in a puzzled manner. “What d’you mean?”

I gestured to my rifle. “Not all wolves are the same, Arthur. Some use their teeth, some use their guns, and some use their tongue. You gotta be able to identify them when you see ‘em.”

The kid didn’t say it flat out, but I could tell he knew what I was really talkin’ about.

“Those sound more like people.” He replied. I let out a gentle chuckle.

“People can be worse than wolves, Arthur. In fact, I’d prefer a wolf over some o’ the people I’ve met.”

Arthur leaned forward in the saddle, his body swaying along with Boadicea’s steady speed.

“What kinda people have you met?”

I lowered my voice, thinking back to the bandits who killed Beatrice.

“Killers. Thieves. Deceivers. Men who will constantly betray each other even though they share the same motive: greed.”

I turned to Arthur with a remorseful look, hopin’ to do at least one right thing in my life, and use myself as a cautionary tale that money weren’t as clean as it seemed.

“...Greed,” I told him, “it breaks people, Arthur. They may not realize it, ‘cause greed can get you far in this world...but the reward ain’t worth it. Not compared to the things you have to sacrifice. In the end, you’ll have tons of cash, only to realize that there are luxuries not even millionaires can afford.”

His innocence took over. “Then why do they do it?”

That was a question I asked myself everyday. I shrugged in a disheartened fashion.

“Because they don’t care. So long as their pockets is heavy, and their bellies is full, they’ll keep on going. But like I said, greed poisons you. It kills you. And you won’t even notice until you’re already sittin’ in a grave. So promise me, Arthur, promise me that when you get to my age...you won’t become a wolf.”

Despite evidently bein’ a little confused, the child was able to make some sense of what I just said and agreed to the promise, reassuring me with a small smile.

“I promise.”

“Good boy,” I praised, bringing my mind back to the main reason we came out here. “Anyway, here’s the bridge. Why don’t you hop down and help me find this buck?”

“Okay.”

Sliding down the saddle, Arthur effortlessly climbed down and joined me, scurrying ‘round like a mouse while he searched for any signs of the buck. But so far, there was nothing in sight.

“See anything?” I checked. The boy shook his head.

I wiped some sweat off my brow, letting out a fatigued sigh. This animal was certainly proving to be a challenge to hunt down. We had already been in this forest for a couple hours now, and our efforts still hadn’t paid off. Part o’ me was almost starting to suspect if Arthur even saw a deer in the first place, and not some other kinda animal.

I decided to take a short break, and turned to ask the boy.

“You positive the buck was roamin’ around in these parts? Or that it was a buck at all? I haven’t seen any tracks so far.”

A soft rustle suddenly reached my ears, interrupting my conversation with Arthur as I reached for my gun, only to be stopped by a sound I didn’t expect.

It was a man’s voice.

“...Don’t even think about it,” the stranger warned, cocking his own gun. “I will shoot if necessary.”

Freezing at the intrusion, I remained perfectly still and didn’t utter a single word as a pair of footsteps steadily approached me from behind, followed by two more men coming in from the front on horseback.

They were all dressed in similar outfits donned with Nevada hats, and I couldn’t help but notice the star-shaped badges shimmerin’ blatantly on their chests.

Shit. These were lawmen. What the hell were they doin’ out here? I never expected the law to travel this far into the country. This was definitely odd.

What really puzzled me though, weren’t the fact that there were three lawmen just...waitin’ for us out here -- it was more the fact that Arthur didn’t seem phased by any of this in the slightest. Just what exactly was goin’ on?

Trotting closer to me, one of the mounted men glowered in my direction as he ordered his deputy to restrain me, his firm, steel eyes never wavering.

I recognized him instantly.

“...Sheriff Buchanan.” I muttered through gritted teeth.

He returned the greeting, scowling from under his hat’s rim.

“Lyle Morgan.”

I shrugged at him, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“What is this shit? What’s the sheriff doing all the way out here?”

Buchanan glanced at Arthur, standing in front of him in a protective manner.

“I told you I’d use every option I had to get you behind bars, Morgan...and I meant it. You made the choice not to heed my warning.”

Taking a second to process what he just told me, the realization suddenly hit me like a bullet to the gut as I stared at Arthur with a sense of immense betrayal, unable to believe what was happening.

There never was no goddamned buck.

Things was never gonna work out for me and Arthur.

This was all a trap.

My own...son...had turned me in.

He was the bait, and Buchanan was the true hunter.

I clenched my jaw in rage, doing my absolute best to shield my emotions as the deputy kicked me to my knees.

“...A-Arthur...?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

The boy looked me straight in the eye, standing adamantly beside Buchanan as his deputies tied me up. I threw a glare at the sheriff, damning him till my last moments.

“You bastard, Buchanan...!” I cursed. “You turned my own damned son against me...?!”

The man showed no guilt and tightened his grip on his rifle, silently advising me to stay back.

“No need,” Buchanan denied. “You drove him to me all by yourself.”

He placed a gentle hand on Arthur’s shoulder and guided him towards the second deputy, ordering them to bring him back to town.

“Clayton, bring the boy back to the office. We’ll figure out where to send him later. For now though, just keep him safe, and look after him.”

“Right away, Sheriff.”

Preparing both his horse and mine for departure, the deputy left Arthur next to the sheriff as the boy stood firmly in place, his innocent yet damaged gaze never leavin’ mine.

Despite the hint of remorse clouding the child’s eyes, it was pretty obvious Arthur felt he made the right decision in turning me in. And just as Buchanan’s second deputy started to drag me away, I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful Whitetail buck wanderin’ around in the distance, its majestic antlers standing out like a crown on a monarch’s head as it bathed in the golden sunlight.

The animal swayed its head in my direction, almost as if trying to communicate with me.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Arthur whispered as he walked towards Clayton, blocking the buck in the process. “...But you made me promise.”

Taking his leave, the boy finally mounted up and steadily trotted away from the scene, only to reveal an empty spot where the buck once stood as he left the forest.

Well...I may have found the buck like I planned, but it weren’t my job to kill it.

And it certainly weren’t my place to look for it.

I could hunt them down to my heart’s content, and kill ‘em all I wanted for my own desires...but in the end, they would always be able to afford the one luxury I’d never obtained.

Peace.

[aceholmes]

Ten Things that Could’ve Happened to Jenny Calendar

It’s my second attempt in writing for the Buffyverse. I’ve written this as a ‘what if’ fic, if the events of Passion had gone a little bit differently. Written as a fic for Calendiles day, I wanted to explore the possible paths that Jenny would’ve took. I’ve tried to place a bigger focus on Calendiles, although a little bit of Jenny/Lilah might have snuck into the fic. I’d like to thank Celia @jenny-calendar​ for coming up with such a great event.

Here it is on my AO3!

Note: Parts I-IV would’ve taken place around the time Passion would’ve taken place. Parts V and VI take place around ATS s1, and Part VII takes place after the events of A New Man. Part VIII would’ve happened alongside all the other shenanigans in Once More With Feeling, Part IX would’ve happened in BTVS late s7 and Part X takes place at the end of Chosen.

I.

Willow blinked back at Jenny, her youthful eyes streaked with worry.

“A-are you sure?” The girl stuttered, in her own concerned way. “I mean, it’s a public place, and Angelus is still out there. What if he decides that, he wants to come hunt us down? Angel knows we do a, a lot of research in the school library.”

Looking at Willow, Jenny wanted to avoid saying something along the lines of ‘Hey, the chances of that seem pretty slim’. It would come off as artificially optimistic, given the serious, life-threatening reality of the situation.

“Hey. It’s no big matter. Teachers stay back in school all the time,” Jenny offered, shrugging. “Just go home, Willow, I’ll be fine,” She leaned back in her chair and stretched her limbs. “It’ll only be one more night at most.”

“You could come over to my place,” suggested Willow, with a sense of quick urgency. “I’ve got a computer round there, and I’m sure we can whip something up fast enough to de-invite Angelus. We’ve got everything we need! The rhyming couplets, spells, spices, everything we need to keep Mr. Broody off the welcome mat.”

Jenny cracked a smile at Willow’s humour. Turning back to her computer, she resisted the thought of following Willow home. After all, she’d prefer working on a computer she was familiar with. “It’s okay, I mean, how are you going to sneak me out of your house without your parents noticing?”

“Are you really sure it’s safe here?” Willow pressed her lips into a thin line, tugging her shirt nervously.

“Well, and if I turn into a vampire tomorrow, I’d give you the first stab opportunity,” suggested Jenny, hoping to see a smile appear on Willow’s face, but her expression had hardly changed from when she first came to seek Jenny that day. “That was a joke.”

Willow shrugged. “Alright then,” She turned to leave, but stopped short, swerving around. The motions sent her hair whipping around her shoulders like an amber curtain. “You know, you should really talk to Giles. He hasn’t been doing so well lately. And I mean, I can just see it, you miss him too, don’t you?”

Jenny thought for a moment. “Maybe. Maybe I do.”

–

II.

This was the second time Jenny hurled herself out a window.

Well, the first didn’t really count, considering that she was possessed by Eyghon, and it wasn’t the most pleasant experience. In fact it was possibly far from it.

Recent events flashed through her mind as she hurtled towards the ground.

The translation’s done, at least. My computer’s busted, though. Wasn’t there a disk? It’s possibly still out there. But there’s not much I can do if I don’t survive this. Oh, well. If it’s the last thing I’ll ever think before I go out with a bang, Buffy, I’m sorry I couldn’t–

The impact happened, and she heard a crunch. Relieved to find herself still alive, she scrambled to her feet in a panic, glancing up at the gaping hole the broken window left for a split second before making herself move. Brushing off the leaves from the pile she had landed in, sharp wisps of pain shot up her left arm, and she knew she had possibly landed herself a broken wrist, or at least sprained it. A cut slashed across her cheek dripped, wet. Trying not to cringe with pain, she pushed herself up to her feet, gritting her teeth so much she could hear them grind.

She didn’t know where Angelus was, but she had to keep on moving. Ignoring the arrows of pain in her lower back, she limped towards the car, her heart in her mouth as she silently counted down to the moment Angelus would finally catch up with her and grab her from behind, and drink.

Upon reaching her car, she let out a huge sigh of relief when she found that she had forgotten to lock her car and that she’d left her keys in the ignition - which could’ve been a bad move, honestly, but it didn’t matter any more as she sped off, not even stopping to buckle her seatbelt. After being chased and nearly killed by a rabid vampire, and leaping from the fourth floor of the school building and miraculously surviving thanks to a pile of leaves, dying in a car crash was perhaps the least of her worries.

Keeping track of Angelus was hard, since vampires don’t show up in mirrors, and it was very hard for Jenny to keep her eyes on the road and occasionally glance back to check that Angelus wasn’t tailing her. Honestly, it was made even worse by only having one functional hand to grip the wheel with, and Jenny had never held onto another object as tightly as the steering wheel of her car. It seemed that he was gone by the time Jenny pulled up outside Buffy’s residence on Revello Drive, but she wasn’t going to take any chances. Digging in the glove box, Jenny fished out a cross, which looked seemingly large enough to fend off a vampire approximately the shape and size of Angelus. (Does the size of a cross affect its effectiveness against a vampire? Something that she’d never considered, but Rupert probably had some scientific answer to that. Or at least, as scientific as the supernatural could ever get.)  

She staggered out of her car, and towards the house as swiftly as she could manage, with all the resolve she had left. “Buffy,” Jenny croaked, her head spinning. Slumping against the front door like a rag doll, she gave three firm knocks on the heavy wooden door, all the while holding her breath and hoping that Angelus wasn’t still lurking around.

Jenny got a huge shock when the door gave way, and she could’ve tumbled across the threshold had it not been for Willow.

–

III.

Joyce let Jenny stay the night after hearing that the Sunnydale computer teacher was targeted by Buffy’s pale, brooding ex-boyfriend that very same night he personally paid her a visit at her doorstep.

“We can’t take you to the hospital, not right now,” Joyce fretted. “He might still be out there. Buffy, should we call the police and turn him in?”

“They can’t deal with him,” shrugged Buffy, taking a sip of milk from her glass. “We’ll take Ms. Calendar tomorrow morning. When the sun’s out.”

“What difference does it make?” Joyce inquired, raising her eyebrows. “What’s stopping him, from being on the lookout for us tomorrow?”

“Mrs. Summers, I think it would do a world of difference,” offered Jenny from the sofa. “Willow’s done her best with the first aid. I think I can hold out till tomorrow.”

Joyce nodded, in a not-exactly-convinced way. “Is there anyone you need me to call? Family?”

“You could try dropping a call to Mr. Giles. The school librarian. He’d be worried sick. And I don’t like the idea of him being out there. Angelus will use him to get to Buffy.”

“Angelus?” Joyce inquired, with a tilt of her head. “Honey,” she addressed her daughter, “is there something I’m missing here?”

“Uh, mom,” Buffy started, “I think we –”

“It’d be best if we could explain to you a little bit down the road,” Jenny cut in. “A lot has happened tonight.”

“Wait, so you need me to make a call to Mr. Giles?” Joyce reiterated.

“I’ve got his number memorised,” Jenny said, reaching for a pen. “I could write it down if you want-”

“He’s a good man. Comes around often. He’s very concerned for the children.” Joyce exclaimed. “Oh, and I also have it written somewhere around here.”

He comes around often? Does she even wonder why? Jenny pondered on whether Joyce even knew the truth about Buffy.

“That’s an interesting, art piece,” Jenny started, averting her thoughts. “the one’s that hanging on the wall. It complements the wallpaper.”

“Oh,” Joyce beamed. “Buffy’s always too busy to really stand there and appreciate it. She says it’s angry at the room. Oh, I said, she’s got the wrong idea.”

“It creates contrast,” Jenny observed the mask closely. “Where is this from?”

“Sub-Saharan Africa, I think,” Joyce recalled. “I’ve got so many of these around the house, I can’t remember the origins of them all.”

“That isn’t the only one you have?”

“I work for an art gallery. Sometimes I end up bringing my work home with me.”

“My grandfather did painting,” Jenny said, feeling a weak smile spread across her face. It was a long time ago, it took a lot of digging into the deepest recesses of her mind to find the particular memory. She was two years old, and her grandfather let her have one canvas, She splattered paint onto it with no regard at all, until he came around and took a look at her work. He took the canvas and skilfully worked around what was already on the canvas, transforming a series of random ink splotches into a lifelike image of a bird.

The memory warmed her, and she was so deep in thought she thought she could just forget whatever had happened that night, just for a second.

Glancing back at Joyce, Jenny wondered how it would be like to live on the Hellmouth without being aware of all the paranormal activity. Not knowing, in this case, would be much better than knowing the ugly truth about the sleepy little town.

–

IV.

Jenny wasn’t in school the week after the run in with Angelus.

Giles had heard that she was safe at Buffy’s, the night she was working late to finish the translation. He’d also heard about her trip to the hospital, but he’d only managed to pay her a brief visit the night after, and had to leave early due to late-night researching. Willow had managed to retrieve the disk containing the Ritual of Restoration from Jenny’s classroom, and he was working hard on it to decipher its meanings. He considered asking the Council for help, but they’d turn him away, saying that the matter was on a small enough scale for him to solve on his own. After all, it was only one vampire, not a whole army. Moreover, they would give the order to kill, which wasn’t what the team wanted to achieve, at least under these current circumstances. But why was he doing this? Perhaps it was much more for Buffy’s sake than his own. Either way, he had to work fast, Jenny’s run in with Angelus was simply too close for comfort this time.

He was intensely deep in thought when he realised he had almost missed the phone call that came in on the library phone. In a hurry, he snatched up the receiver. “Good evening, this is Mr. Giles, the Sunnydale High librarian. How may I help –”

“Rupert.”

“Jenny. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around, I –”

“Could you meet me at my apartment? There’s something I need your help with.”

Giles pulled up outside Jenny’s apartment block within ten minutes of her call. Pushing his glasses up, he began to climb the stairs leading to Jenny’s apartment on the third floor of the small, dark block. It was rather late at night, and he was tired - so tired that he nearly leaned on a wall against his satchel. That was close, he mused, thinking about the fragility of the object that lay tucked in a small drawstring bag within his satchel. He honestly didn’t know what he expected from Jenny at this point. Maybe she’d be excited to see him and things would go back to the way they were. Upon reaching her apartment, Giles was appalled to find her front door unlocked. Considering her run-in with Angelus, he thought she’d be more careful about her security. And if supernatural threats weren’t enough, there were also the day-to-day human threats such as a break-in.

He wasn’t expecting to see Jenny leaning on a crutch and attempting to cram a wall decoration into a cardboard box.

Her apartment wasn’t filled with them yet, giving him an indication that there would be still some time before she moved out, but it would happen soon. How soon is soon? He wondered, staring at the cluttered room.

Jenny looked up, brushing a lock of hair out of her face with her right hand, wobbling a bit. She turned, and Giles noticed that her left hand was in a sling. “Sorry,” She mentioned sheepishly. “Should’ve told you about-”

“No worries. You have your reasons, I suppose,” Giles assured. “But I feel, that I should perhaps know your reason for leaving before you do so.”

“You want to know?” Jenny said. “No problem, I can just tell you my reasons. No beating around the bush, no lying by omission, I’ll be very honest with you.”

Giles helped her into a chair, and pulled over another one for himself. “You shouldn’t be standing. If I remember correctly the doctor did say to-”

“Keep strain off my back, yeah,” Jenny cut in. “So. What do you want to know first?”

“You could begin wherever you feel like starting. It’s your story, after all.”

“I’ll be willing to restore Angel’s soul. Then I’ll leave,” Jenny put forward, watching for his reaction.

“And that’ll be…?”

“A couple of weeks, perhaps, after I recover,” Jenny shifted in her seat. “I feel I’ve done enough. To be very honest, I wasn’t sure how exactly to follow my family’s wishes and stay and monitor Angel, but it seems that I got caught in the crossfire. I got involved in some events around here that I think I wouldn’t want to be involved in again. Such as that night I was possessed, that was awful.”

“I want to take a break, Rupert,” Jenny said, making eye contact with him. Giles found Jenny’s hand slip into his, intertwining their fingers. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, it’s just that I need some time away from all the monster activity here on the Hellmouth. I need a bit of time, to process what’s happened to me. To us, and I mean all of us. You, me, Buffy, Willow, Xander, and the others.”

“I don’t think I can keeping doing this. I haven’t slept for more than two hours consecutively in two weeks because of-” Jenny took a breath, her shoulders shuddering, “-the nightmares. I can still recall every detail in excruciating detail.” The way the wind moved around her as she scampered through the school like a rat. The venom in Angelus’ voice as he taunted her, waiting for her to walk to my death. The crisp, ugly smell of the leaves which she happened to tumble into, saving her life. “But now I can’t even look at the leaves on the trees around my apartment and not think of what happened that night,” She glanced at the window. “That’s why I drew the blinds.”

“I think I could never understand how you felt that night, and I can comprehend your reasons for wanting to leave Sunnydale.”

“Nobody needs to know,” Jenny insisted, her voice firm. “Nobody needs to know what Angelus’ did to me that night. What matters is that I know that once we find a way to restore his soul, we can forget what Angelus did.”

They sat in silence, glancing at each other by the soft light of the table lamp.

“H-how long will you be away?” Giles started. “No, that shouldn’t be a question I should be asking-”

“A few months, a year maybe. I don’t know,” Jenny sighed. “But I’m sure I can’t be away from here for long. I’m just packing all this stuff so that I won’t be returning to a messy apartment. I thought it’d be nice if I could start anew once I got back.”

Giles changed the subject. “I’ve managed to sort out the ritual, and we just need the respective materials. I believe I should be free tomorrow to pop down to the Magic Box and pick up some spices.”

Jenny turned to her dining table, where bowls of herbs and spices were placed around an empty stand. “All I’m missing is the Orb. Angelus broke it into smithereens when he paid me that little visit.”

“I thought I’d bring my Orb over. Well, prior to this, I was using it as a paperweight. I didn’t know it was intended for cursing the souls of vampires. I presumed that your purpose for inviting me over tonight was to attempt the re-ensoulment. Well, I don’t suppose I was absolutely sure, but I brought it along in case you wanted to-” Giles fished in his satchel and brought out the hemp drawstring bag. “-give it your best try.”

“I have the ritual on paper, if you require it.”

“That’s wonderful of you,” Jenny smiled, and rose from her seat. “But there’s no need for that. Cordelia came over one day and lent me her laptop. I’ve got most of it in my head now, or at least I think I do. And if I’m having a hard time remembering, don’t prompt me. It might break my concentration.”

Giles nodded, confirming that he understood her instruction. “And you didn’t tell me you were working on it?”

Jenny gave him a knowing smile. “I don’t have to report everything to you.”

“Then why invite me?” asked Giles.

She thought for a little while, staring into blank space. “Just in case something goes wrong,” she said, her voice softening towards the end.

“But I have absolute faith that you’re capable to conduct the ritual on your own.”

Jenny sighed. “Then take it as an excuse for me to see you again, then. I missed seeing you.”

She took her place across the dining table, glancing over the layout of the ritual. Tentatively, Giles placed the crystal sphere upon the stand. Jenny was silent for a moment, before closing her eyes and concentrated.

Then her lips were moving. A slow whisper, barely escaping her lips at first, and growing with rapidity and volume, rising in a crescendo with her conviction. At one point she seemed to be struggling to remember a verse or two, her speech slowing, and Giles almost wanted to prompt her when she regained her composure and resumed with the ritual. Her fingers tapped on the table, aiding her in her concentration as the ritual continued. The moment everyone had been anticipating came when the Orb started to flicker with a dim glow, which spread across the entire globe and resulted in a full glow. Jenny opened her eyes as the glow faded, keeping her eyes trained on the Orb at first, and then directing her gaze up to Giles.

“It’s done,” Jenny remarked, her voice a shaky tremolo. “Angel’s soul has been restored.”

“How would we know?” Giles asked. “I don’t intend to be skeptical, but I’m still rather concerned that something might’ve gone wrong and he might still be a physical threat.”

“I thought you said you had absolute confidence in me,” said Jenny, raising her eyebrows.

“I won’t lie, I was completely sure,” shrugged Giles, crossing his arms.

“If he has a conscience, I’m sure Angel would know what to do.”

“He would leave. To keep himself away from Buffy,” deduced Giles.

Jenny frowned. “I think we might have done the opposite from what we wanted to do, for Buffy to be able to find him again and-”

She dropped her hands. “-she’ll never forgive me for it.”

“I’m sorry,” Giles put an arm around her, and Jenny leaned into his shoulder.

“These are the choices we live with, I guess,” Jenny gave a weak, cynical smile. “And I guess the choice I’ll have to live with is leaving this place.”

“You’re not obligated to stay in one place if you find that circumstances become too much to simply bear,” Giles advised, running his thumb under the scar that marked Jenny’s cheekbone. “I don’t want to come across as overly sentimental, but–”

“Just say it.”

“I’ll always be in love with you.”

Jenny snorted, trying to cover it up in the next instant. “There’s no need to be overly sentimental, as you said.”

“I thought you told me to go ahead and–”

“Shut up and hold me,” urged Jenny, and she closed her eyes as she found herself completely reluctant to leave him.

–

V.

It was a year or so later, and Jenny didn’t know how she got herself into such a whirlwind. The nightmares continued, but work and exhausting nights dulled the vividity of the memories. LA was a frenzy of fast-moving, high-achieving workers, and it really was a dog-eat-dog world when it came to looking for a job. It took her months to score an IT job at the bank, and even so she wasn’t very welcome, as a lady looking to work in the IT department. Her co-workers weren’t exactly the most friendly people in the world either. It seemed all of the compassion and earthiness she’s seen in the people of Sunnydale was completely absent here, a grey cold mass replacing the warm, loving heart.

Jenny’s current girlfriend would probably mention, in a half-joking matter, that she was heartless in the first place, and there wasn’t anything to replace.

Was girlfriend the right word? Jenny wasn’t too sure that was really the case, for it was more of an agreement rather than a relationship. It was more like a friends-with-benefits situation, and even that probably couldn’t even cover it. Lilah Morgan worked in strange ways Jenny couldn’t fully understand, but she brought in much excitement and passion when needed.

Lilah was probably the most passionate lawyer Jenny had ever seen. They’d met at a bar two months ago, and had hit it off pretty well. After half a dozen drinks, Jenny woke up on her sofa half-dressed and with a hazy memory of what had happened, with Lilah sprawled across the sofa, out like a lamp.

We’ll keep in touch, Lilah had said. And keep in touch it did. What seemed to be a one night standoff turned into weekly visits, and weekly visits turned into nearly-daily visit. There was hardly a night where Lilah didn’t pull by Jenny’s place after work. Jenny deduced that Lilah was either one, enjoying her physical contact so much as to swing by for it on a daily basis, or two, invested in their relationship, which didn’t quite suit a woman like Lilah.

Jenny enjoyed Lilah just as much as Lilah enjoyed Jenny. She looked forward to nights of passion, those nights where she’d much rather prefer to lose all control of her inhibitions. It helped her forget, sometimes, about why she left her old life in Sunnydale. For a while she was nobody. Not a person with a heavy past, not a person with trauma from a near-death experience, not a person seeking anything but escape from her past. She was just Jenny, and Lilah was just Lilah. She melted under every single kiss and touch, and the sensations weren’t as complicated as when she kissed Rupert (ahem, Jenny. Live in in the now). Their relationship was nothing but the physical processes of passion, but Jenny found it a feasible albeit unhealthy distraction from her reality. Sometimes the nightmares disappeared, for a night, and Jenny felt more relieved than ever when she woke up. However, where Lilah would’ve slept the previous night, there would be ghostly imprints of her body, and Jenny sometimes stared at it until she had to smooth it over and pull over the duvet.

Jenny lay on her side and traced her gaze across the curves of Lilah’s body, veiled by the thin blanket she had pulled over herself. Better enjoy her when it lasts, Jenny thought. Lilah would be gone by four in the morning - how on earth did that woman run on two hours of sleep a night?

Then again, Lilah was probably the most assertive person Jenny had ever met. She could probably order her inhibition to sleep to stop meddling and being an inconvenience in her life and it would listen to her.

Lilah had that way with people. That kind of dominating charm that was almost irresistible. The way she picks up the phone and speaks orders into it, in a I know what I want and I will get it kind of tone. The way she’s able to sway juries to her discretion: a 93% acquit rate? Well, that came from the blazing red lips of Lilah Morgan herself, and Jenny could admit that certainly sent shivers down her spine as Lilah worked her way down through – never mind, but that was pretty damn impressive and intimidating.

Lilah was never a safe haven, and Jenny knew that.

Conflicted, Jenny wondered how much of Lilah’s sweet yet poisonous venom she had tasted.

–

VI.

“You’ve followed me around enough,” Jenny called to the dark figure in the alleyway.

A familiar face emerged from the alleyway.

Jenny froze, then relaxed.

Angel clasped his hands together. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, as if you have to know.”

“You’ve got Lilah Morgan’s scent all over you. By chance, have you-” Angel crossed his arms.

“Been sleeping with her? I remember how great your sense of smell is, and I can’t even deny that it happened because you know. How has it been, being a bloodhound?” Jenny exasperated.

“I know we aren’t on the best of terms but there’s no need to be sarcastic.”

“What have you been up to, then?” Jenny insisted. You’ve found out about the details of my love affairs, it should only be fair that I should know a bit about what you’ve been doing after you got your soul back.”

“Detective agency.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Jenny, there’s something about Lilah-”

“Who are you to judge her?” Jenny put her hands on her hips. The sky rumbled overhead with thunder. “Look, I’d like to keep out of the rain as much as possible, if you’d just-”

“That’s not thunder.” Angel said, peering over Jenny’s shoulder. “Now, don’t move.”

Jenny normally wouldn’t have listened to a man who had tried to kill her a year and a half ago, but Jenny didn’t seem to have a choice. Her legs were glued to the ground, like she was being pulled under.

“Okay, what’s going on.” Jenny muttered under her breath. “If you’re doing this to me I swear-”

“Umbra demon. Latin for shadow,” Angel noted. “I’ve got an associate who can get rid of that for you.”

“Where did it come from?” Jenny inquired, her limbs itching with energy. She wanted so badly, to move. The urge was tugging at her impulses, but at the same time she had the feeling that it wasn’t her own impulses.

“Plays you like a puppet. It’s submitting you to the caster’s will. If you move, the demon will consume you, and you become the demon.” Angel explained. “And the thunder - this demon tends to be a bit melodramatic. It sensed danger, probably me.”

Deep in thought, Angel took a few paces back and forth. “Angelus ran into one before he got his soul back, the first time. It wasn’t a pleasant experience.” He took out his cellphone, and audible clicks were heard in the silent alley as he punched in a string of numbers. “Umbra demon. Possessing a woman, also Sunnydaleian…hey, I can’t come up with my own terms now? Also, a protection spell. Pronto.” He hung up, meeting Jenny’s gaze. “It probably won’t be too long before he gets here.”

“Don’t you dare mention Angelus again.”

Angel nodded.

“There are quite a few of our acquaintances from Sunnydale residing in LA as well, isn’t that so? I remember seeing Cordelia on that toothpaste commercial. I was almost convinced, but-”

“It’s always those overly-optimistic ads that get you, isn’t it?”

There was a pause, before Jenny changed the subject. “So. Umbra demon. How did it get on me?”

“The ritual’s complicated. For one, it requires a scream from the person it’s cast on.” Angel raised an eyebrow. “I think your current relationship was convenient for Lilah.”

“But why her?”

“Lilah hasn’t told you everything, has she?” Angel questioned, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “You don’t know about her work?”

“She’s a defense lawyer, that’s all I know,” Jenny put forward, defensively. “What right would I have to pry into her legal affairs?”

“She represents demons, Jenny.”

“God,” Jenny gulped. “The very thing I’ve came here to escape from. There were simply too many in Sunnydale.”

“And I don’t mind explaining a bit more, in fact I’d prefer for you to know the whole truth, but I’m sure the Senior Partners are watching. For now, you’re going to have to stand very still until my associate arrives.”

Jenny took a deep breath. “Why are you doing this for me?”

“I help the helpless. It’s in my job scope.”

“No,” Jenny interrupted, “wouldn’t you have thought I’d harbour feelings of hatred for you after you tried to kill me that one time?”

Angel went quiet for a moment. “I’ve made it my mission to atone for all the things I’ve done as Angelus. Sure, I wish I could separate myself and Angelus and treat them as separate people, but that just isn’t how it works. We are one. Except I have a soul, and that monster doesn’t.”

“You know I haven’t forgiven you yet, right?”

“I don’t expect my victims to forgive me.” Angel’s tone was stoic, his face almost blank.

Jenny made a faint wheezing noise. “Angelus’ victims don’t have the chance to forgive you because they’re dead. I, however, am one of the ‘lucky’ few who have managed to escape Angelus’ clutches and emerge alive. But you won’t understand how I felt afterwards. I couldn’t sleep. I could hardly eat. I could hardly step out of the house and it felt like the possibly the most imprisoning thing that I’ve experienced and will probably experience for the rest of my life. You won’t understand, not ever, what I have to live with.”

“That’s why your people cursed me,” Angel brought up. “So I could feel.”

Jenny was speechless, as she softly wept.

–

VII.

Jenny clasped the charm in her hand, trying very hard to think of something other than the tears as she watched the scenery move by.

“The charm should obscure you from the view of the Senior Partners. The process to bind the spell to the charm was rather challenging, but it will eventually serve its purpose. Lilah won’t be able to track you, and I presume that she’ll be looking for you after you’ve up and left.” Wesley had said, while passing over the totem.

“And an angry Wolfram and Hart employee is definitely more that what you need on your hands.”

Honestly, Jenny was happier than ever to return to Sunnydale. LA was far too gritty for her. If she had stayed any longer, she would’ve probably turned into one of those cold-hearted work machines. Or maybe she’d be seduced to the dark side of the law and supernatural, courtesy of Lilah Morgan.

Jenny got off the bus and walked around, stretching her legs. After dropping her bags off at her old apartment, which she had chosen not to sell when she had left, she took the bus to the bus stop across from Giles’ apartment. She had planned to knock gently on the door, and offer a plain, awkward explanation when he opened it, and they’d end up embracing each other and –

Giles’ door was left open, eerily similar to the way her own door was left when he paid her that visit where he watched her re-ensoul Angel.

Jenny’s heart ached as soon as she stepped through the threshold.

Books were left open all over the table, and empty bottles littered the floor in a messy, irregular formation, very unlike Rupert’s neat and uptight attitude. The television was on, blaring old music from the 60s and 70s. Laid out on the floor were dozens of records - he’d been keeping himself busy. What scared her most was the bannister, which had been ripped in half. There had been other marks of damage being done to the building, but most of them had been repaired, save for the bannister. Perhaps it was taking longer than usual for the contractor to get back to him.

Jenny found him slumped over a glass of whiskey in the kitchen, silent and unmoving.

“You look awful,” Jenny started. Okay, maybe this wasn’t the best way to greet a lover after you’ve been away from them a year and half, but it was still a start nonetheless.

Lazily, Giles propped himself up with an elbow on the table. “Jenny?” He mumbled, in a hazy state of exhaustion. “You’re an angel.”

“Thanks, but we really need to get everything cleaned up. And you need sleep. You look like you haven’t slept in days. What happened?” Jenny wrestled the glass from his hand, and seeming like the looks of it this was probably his second or third glass, since he wasn’t as incoherent as Jenny had expected him to be. He wiped his face with the green wool of his sweater, pushing his glasses up. It honestly amused Jenny, how he looked so different when he was out of his tweed suits. He wasn’t Mr. Giles, the stuffy British Watcher guy. He was just Rupert, another fellow normal human being struggling with life, just as she was.

“Bloody Ethan, thinking he can just barge back into my life and ruin it all,” He swore strongly, and with conviction. “You think he might’ve heard about you?”

“Now, I’m not very sure what he thinks about me, but I think it’s time for you to get some rest,” Jenny hauled him out of his seat, dragging him to the sofa. “I still have questions about that bannister though.”

“Ripped it out,” Giles revealed, shielding his eyes with the back of his right hand. “Would you turn down the lights? I’m having such a sodding headache I-”

Jenny reached over and flicked off the light switch. “Ripped it out, huh. Must’ve been some hangover.”

“I’m not hungover. Just even more sleep-deprived than usual.”

“The bannister, I mean.”

“Spells,” Giles mumbled. “P-probably something he put in my drink or maybe when he came round afterwards. I woke up a Fyarl the next morning. Of course it would’ve been a fright, waking up to find myself with more horns that I usually do.”

“He was here?”

“I don’t even know how we got back. We were both sloshed out by the time they cleared up. I can’t even remember what spells we did, maybe some of the old ones. It was nice, probably. Well, I still can’t remember a bloody thing we did. He left before I woke up the next morning.”

Giles groaned, shifting to a lying position on the sofa. “Spike decimated my car. Should’ve never trusted him with that thing. My trusty Citroen, i-it’s been with me for years.”

“Spike, as in William the Bloody Spike?”

“He’s been bugging us. Says he’s been neutered, but he’s not much better off now than dead. Can’t even feed, the poor bugger.”

Jenny retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen, putting it by the sofa. She pulled a chair over, lifting it off the ground so it wouldn’t make screeching noises. She had enough experience with headaches – from quite lately, after nights of drinking with Lilah.

“So. I heard we’re both out of a job. Sunnydale High blowing up was kind of a big deal. Was in the newspapers in LA. People said it was school kids with homemade explosives. I’m not absolutely convinced.”

“I was out of a job even before that. The Watchers’ Council fired me.”

Jenny’s gaze softened as she took Giles’ left hand, tenderly grasping it with both of hers. “I don’t think you’ve been a bad Watcher. You’ve been a great mentor to Buffy, I can see it. You’ve really had a great bond, the two of you. You were there for her, weren’t you? You were always there to advise and guide her–”

“Maybe a bit too much. They replaced me with someone else because of my emotional attachment to the Slayer,” He paused, reaching up to press on the bridge of his nose, “but she doesn’t need a Watcher now. She’s doing well in college, and here I am, playing an increasingly redundant role in her life.”

“Replaced you?”

“Last year. They fired him too over a dispute with a rogue Slayer, and with Buffy herself,” Giles recalled, a tone of disdain in his voice. “Good riddance.”

“What, was he that bad?” Jenny exclaimed.

“Amazingly, spectacularly bad,” He cleared his throat. “He left Sunnydale in less than half a year after he arrived.”

“Speaking of leaving Sunnydale,” said Jenny, “something happened in LA.”

“We’re always being watched. Most of the apocalypses that go on here, they’re part of a bigger plan.” explained Jenny, trying to put it across in a way that wouldn’t stir his curiosity. No, Angel had told her not to tell, tell nobody at all, it was his business and his business only. The less people knew about the Senior Partners, the better, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

“They might be tracking me, which is why I was given a charm.”

“Who did?” He was suddenly more aware. “I don’t suppose I’d have anything against the person who made it, but I’m interested to know. Spellcasters are quite hard to come across, and many of them I’ve come across in recent years turned out to be more malevolent than anything else.”

“I ran into Angel again. He was working with a bunch of people. The one who came up with the charm, he was definitely English. Like you.” Jenny said. “Maybe he was a Watcher or something.”

“Jenny, you can’t just assume everyone who grew up in England is a Watcher.” He joked, eyes half closed.

“Wesley.”

“Come again?”

“The one who did the charm. I was thinking if you’d happen to know him.”

Giles sighed. “My awfully incompetent replacement.”

“Hey, he’s got a bit of an esteem problem when I met him, at least he hasn’t let me down yet. The cloaking spell’s probably still working because I’m still alive and not brainwashed into working for a interdimensional law firm,” Jenny caught herself. “I mean, that was just an example of  something that could happen to me.” She let go of his hand, grabbing a quilt from the far edge of the room and draping it over him. “Sleep well, you need some quality rest. You could ask me about how my time went later,” she doted, planting a light kiss on Giles’ weary forehead before closing the curtains.

“I’m glad you’ve returned, Jenny. Life wasn’t quite how it was without you,” yawned Giles, turning over to lie on his side.

She waited for a couple of minutes until he was asleep. She silently paced around his flat, aware of his muffled snoring that hung ambiently in the air. She watched him for a minute, taking in every line and contour that made up his face, determined to remember it forever, if they were to ever separate again.

She’d forgotten too much of him when they were away, as much as she hated to admit it.

Honestly, she didn’t want to reflect on her time in LA. She wasn’t sure how to explain her meeting with Angel. It still lingered on her mind, and the memory wasn’t likely to dissipate any time soon.

Jenny stepped out of the stuffy flat, listening to the sounds of the town as the sun set. Sunnydale had survived yet another day. Sitting on the tiles lining the small pond of water, she let go of her inhibitions and a decently good cry about the events that’d happened in the previous years.

She’d missed being able to show her sadness during her time away. It seemed that she was trying too hard to let go of her past immediately upon reaching, and now she decided to let things take their own natural course.

–

VII.

Life’s a melodrama, Jenny sings. But she doesn’t know the real reason she’s singing, the real reason why she’s draping herself over the Magic Box counter like some lovelorn shop girl in need of someone who will sweep her off her feet and carry her away to some sweet conclusion to a story she’s been running from – doesn’t she already have that sweet bliss, in the form of her dear fiancee?

I’m holding Buffy back, holding her back from life itself, returns Giles, in a duet he doesn’t realise how it even started in the first place. He’s singing his heart out, not like how he used to mumble verses in his flat back when he was serving as Buffy’s Watcher the first time, not like how he sang with limited freedom at the Espresso pump when she went off to college. This was a new level of freedom – he poured his whole mind and soul into the melody.

Jenny and Rupert sang against a backing orchestra nobody could see, or was really conscious of. Jenny thought she heard the scrape of a violin in her left ear, but reason told her that it was ridiculously impossible, but then again nothing really was a hundred percent impossible in Sunnydale.

You can’t leave, started Jenny, she’s not ready to stand on her own

She’ll learn, she’s competent, Giles continued the phrase, what she’s gone through hardens her

At least think of Dawn! Jenny’s raised her voice hoping to make a point. Tragedy after tragedy had hurt the young girl, and it changed her in more ways than one. It was hard enough for all of them to deal with Joyce’s death and Buffy’s death and her resurrection, but it must’ve been unbearable for young Dawn to struggle with the loss of those closest to her, those who vowed to always be her family. If you leave, she loses the only father she’s known

She’s leaning on me too often, she won’t learn to live her life again unless I go, Giles’ voice wavered towards the end of his phrase. Jenny made small, lilting, dance-like strides as she neared him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He took her in, completing the position, and the two swayed to an invisible waltz.

I’m sorry, I can’t leave when you do, Jenny sang, raising her gaze. His eyes were wavering as his voice was, but the pale green hues entranced Jenny nonetheless. She had loved the man behind those calculating, inquiring eyes more than anything else, but she wasn’t willing to drop anything and everything just for him. She didn’t always agree with his logical ways, but she still loved him all the same.

But she couldn’t stand being away from him again.

“I’m just as sorry as you are,” whispered Giles, leaning in to meet her lips. Jenny reacted tenderly, reaching up to pull him even closer. Her mind whirred; although his kisses were no longer electrifying, she enjoyed the intimacy that they brought – two entwined souls, the fate of their timelines. She couldn’t let him go, not ever again. He was her support; she was his. She was his happiness; he was hers. They depended on each other, giving and receiving as much as they could.

They remained in the silence, lost in the presence of each other.

“Giles, have you seen the –”

There was a bit of a scuffle as Jenny pushed away from him, turning to meet Willow. “The new stock of newt eyes are in,” Giles announced, grabbing the handkerchief from his breast pocket and discreetly brushing it over the corners of his mouth. “I’ll bring them out here, if you want.”

Jenny blushed, feeling the heat all the way from her cheeks to her toes. Her fingers found the engagement ring and fiddled with it, all the while avoiding Willow’s gaze.

The redhead was trying her best not to snigger. God knows what she would’ve been thinking. I totally called it when I was in high school, perhaps?

And to be absolutely honest, Jenny wanted to know, just to satisfy her curiosity.

–

IX.

Wedding bells rang (or rather they didn’t, as they were a figment of Jenny’s imagination) as Jenny and Rupert were married, at a nice location in the park. It was a quiet ceremony, at the white pavilion. (They previously joked about holding it in the graveyard, since that was where they ended up spending time together quite often, but obviously they couldn’t hold a wedding in the graveyard, that would be just disrespectful.)

The skies were a bright blue, dotted with wispy white cirrus clouds. A soft breeze stirred in the air, through Jenny’s veil and making it dance in soft shapes. Rupert looked happier than he had in a very long time. Even though he’d made the choice to leave Buffy and abscond to England, he didn’t remain there for long and Jenny was eager to have him back, albeit a bit annoyed with him. On the day Rupert returned to Sunnydale and the world didn’t end, they made a promise to each other to work out their differences, and that’s when he brought up marriage. They’d been engaged since the spring of ‘01, but due to traumatic events surrounding that year they decided to put it off for a while.

Finally, that moment had came to pass.

With the exchanging of vows, the couple kissed and the ceremony was complete. Standing before the small assembly, Jenny scanned across the faces of every single person that was present.

The Scoobies, every one of them. Over the years she’d become their surrogate mom, especially for Dawn following the deaths of Joyce and Buffy. Dawn hadn’t bothered to hide her tears of joy. She beamed, radiant as a sunflower.

Several members of Rupert’s family turned up, his father and two women who seemed to be his nieces, perhaps? While they hardly showed it on their faces, Jenny could read a sense of internal pride.

Angel stood under a maroon umbrella, with Wesley and two other people she didn’t recognise. After departing from LA, the Scoobies continued to collaborate with Angel Investigations on an occasional basis, usually maintaining a connection over the phone. The group of investigators looked considerably more worn out to Jenny as compared to the last time she’d seen them, which was nearly three years ago. Cordelia was not present, which surprised Jenny, as the Cordelia she knew would jump at any chance to be present at a social gathering.

Jenny and Rupert led the first dance, and it was the dance of their lives. If they were going to perish in the impending battle against the First Evil, they were going to live their lives to the fullest before heading off to the fight.

And live their lives to the fullest they did.

–

X.

The battle was over, and all that was left of Sunnydale was a smoking crater in the ground.

“Well, there goes Sunnydale,” remarked Jenny in a rather unremarkable way. She slipped her hand through Rupert’s, and they held on as they stood at the edge of the cliff, which seemed to lead down to nothing.

“There’s another Hellmouth in Cleveland, apparently.” Rupert said. “Oh, we don’t have to go running there immediately. We’ve got an army of Slayers now, there’s no need for us to be involved in everything.”

“We need a holiday.” Jenny suggested.

“I would completely agree with you on this. Where to?”

Jenny side-glanced at him. “You’re asking me?”

“We never got a honeymoon, since we were so wrapped up with work.” Rupert lamented, giving a small sigh.

“Home.”

“And where would that be?”

“You could take me back to your home in England. Willow says you’ve got a house with a pasture.” Jenny said. “Not to be totally intruding, of course.”

“We could make a home there. Finally settle down, base ourselves in England.”

Jenny shrugged. “Now that sounds like a plan.”

[eldritchlulz-blog]

that went well

nick and moire have irreconcilable differences

LAST WEEK

eldritchlulz

so are ye gonna eat paper airplanes all through class tomorrow too or ye gonna tell me what the problem is

nickatnightwalker

my appetite for paper airplanes is endless munro

eldritchlulz

great

hope yer hungry for that shiny stuff they print photos on

nickatnightwalker

ugh cmon that shits so bitter it's like letting advil dissolve in your mouth

eldritchlulz

ye know the terms of the deal walker

ye'd be doing yer stomach a favor

nickatnightwalker

eh

it's not liver damage but we all have our vices

eldritchlulz

that's true

but yer liver's probably not gonna thank ye for bitter advil paper either

what if i made a really big one out of a whole newspaper

antonov an-225

nickatnightwalker

at least buy me a latte to wash it down with

ALSO LIKE A WEEK AGO

eldritchlulz

[moire makes good on her promise in class today. nick gets an expertly-aimed airplane to the cheek within the first ten minutes of class. it's folded from stiff glossy photo-printing paper, which she bartered from the amorphous art supply guardian in exchange for a memory. then he gets another airplane to the temple. and another. and another. long months of fucking around in class have made her an expert at predicting how long professor mothman will have his back turned to the board.] lattes are for when yer not being a dick, [she tells him after class, peeling off down the hallway to physics] i’ll make ye tea though if ye manage to eat em all

**

TWO DAYS AGO, post sharing dragon videos

eldritchlulz

so are we friends again or nah

**

YESTERDAY

nickatnightwalker

i cant read this over the noises my stomach is still making as it digests photopaper

eldritchlulz

ye could have had tea

nickatnightwalker

it was a pride thing

eldritchlulz

i didn't think ye had any left after the third airplane

nickatnightwalker

you would be shocked at how much i manage to retain no matter what i swallow

eldritchlulz

i guess we all have our talents

nickatnightwalker

damn straight munro

some are just more highly sought after than others

eldritchlulz

who knew airplane eating is so decidedly respected

nickatnightwalker

anyone in the aviation industry duh

eldritchlulz

well don't forget who helped launch yer career when yer famous and shit

nickatnightwalker

yeah ill try not to forget the little people

eldritchlulz

yer like a foot shorter than me

nickatnightwalker

oh well obviously im talking about personality

eldritchlulz

then yer like two feet shorter

nickatnightwalker

hair doesnt count

neither does punching

eldritchlulz

luckily those aren't personality traits

nickatnightwalker

exactly

which is why youre the little people and im not

eldritchlulz

lmao all ye have in yer corner is being tiny and rude

nickatnightwalker

youd be surprised how far those two things can get you in life

eldritchlulz

good for ye

nickatnightwalker

thanks it's been an uphill battle but 18 years in im starting to get the hang of using that stuff in my favor

eldritchlulz

great

**

TODAY

nickatnightwalker

since youre technically millys aunt im donating a full sentence of real talk which is that i dont really fuck with public drinkers

eldritchlulz

why not enough personality for ye

ye get high all the time

nickatnightwalker

yeah, and all that happens is i chill out

eldritchlulz

is this because of the movie night?

did we do something to ye?

nickatnightwalker

no it's just not my thing ok

i dont babysit lightweights and hanging around them always turns into that anyway

eldritchlulz

lmao i mean ye didn't and no one asked ye to

nickatnightwalker

no offense but have you ever hung out with drinkers because no matter the fuck what eventually

eventually

nickatnightwalker

it's the one sober person's job to console whoever just started crying and stop the fights and driving and unprotected sex and i have plenty on my plate right now without heading down that road so i really, really prefer not hanging with people who get drunk on wine during disney movie night like you do you and shit but it's not my scene

eldritchlulz

i know yer from like

the city and shit

but here i’ve only ever drank with misha and some of the girls in proteus and it’s never been like that

i don’t know in what world ye think ye have to take care of us

eldritchlulz

i don’t want that lmao and i definitely don’t need it

nickatnightwalker

good to know but there's still that second hand embarrassment factor and the smell of rancid grapes to figure in

like i just dont like hanging with people drinking it's not that deep

eldritchlulz

good thing ye’ve never done anything embarrassing like proposition yer supposed cousin over the pa system

that’d be real fuckin awkward

whatever walker

if yer gonna ditch cus one night out of the months ye’ve been here we did something that ye didnae like that didnae even affect ye

then seriously

whatever

nickatnightwalker

lmao at least i did it fully aware of what i was doing

nickatnightwalker

like damn munro cant a guy choose his company based on personal preferences

eldritchlulz

lmao weak

i do enough embarrassing stuff sober too kill me for having a good night where i didn’t worry about shit

and ye sure can

my personal preference is hanging out with people who don’t flake without even a heads up

evens out

nickatnightwalker

it's not flaking if we never had plans like ho ly shit why is this such a big deal you wanna get shitfaced and turn your head into a fish that's your prerogative and it's mine not to stick around while it's happening i dont particularly care why you did it im sure being drunk was a blissful reprieve from your tortured thoughts or whatever and i respect that i just dont want to be there

eldritchlulz

gods ye are literally the one who made this into a big deal nick i just said whatever like three times ye dinnae have to justify yer weird hypocritical bullshit to me

no one said ye had to watch when there were a thousand other things to do and pay attention to that night but yeah ignoring a friend for weeks and not letting them know what’s up is a shitty thing to do and i was trying to like check in but it turns out the mistake was thinking that we were friends in the first place so like i said

whatever

nickatnightwalker

i was doing plenty of other things that night and i really dont get why you cant run it through your hair that i dont fuckin like hanging around drunks and forgive me for not realizing we were at the bffs for life stage and thinking it wouldnt be a big deal to drop off your proverbial sea charts

eldritchlulz

oh nice so i'm a drunk cus i had some wine that’s incredibly reasonable of ye top of the fucking class

i wasn’t saying we were bffs lmao yer supposed to be the human don’t ye have a basic concept of how human relationships work ye don’t have to be bffs to not be a total asshole

nickatnightwalker

you were drunk i dont know what gentle terminology you want me to use here  like was i supposed to hand you an official notice like dear mr and mrs munro this is a letter of resignation on the basis that i dont fucking roll with public wastedness

nickatnightwalker

god i thought you were buried deeper in your hypermasculinity than getting ratty because i decided i didnt wanna hang with you your boy and a bottle of something that could strip paint off a car

eldritchlulz

the utter fuckin logical leaps yer going through to make hanging out with us about drinking constantly is amazing ye gonna mentally photoshop bottles of liquor into all the times we hung out where we weren’t drinking too

and ye can fuck off with the hypermasculinity bullshit it’s bad if i am and bad if i’m not to ye sorry i don’t fit the perfect image of rambo lmao almost like the way ye stereotype everyone isn’t the way they really are

i don’t get how i’m the fucking unreasonable one here for thinking that i’d fucked something up and wanting to fix it and instead getting a thousand word essay where ye reiterate the point that got old the second time ye said it

luckily ye can consider yerself off the hook

nickatnightwalker

if ive said it so many times then why isnt it going through

nickatnightwalker

and like damn do you think youre like picking away at my layers of carefully crafted denial to get to the real reason i dont wanna hang with you guys anymore or something like i told you it's not that deep and just because i expected you to be oozing masculinity like a frat boy's sti doesnt mean it's a good thing that usually you are

eldritchlulz

trust me i'm not under any delusion that yer deep lmao

it came through loud and clear the first time

so like i said four fucking times

whatever

yer off the hook

see ye in class

nickatnightwalker

yep, this shallow bitch'll catch you later than you overhyped blowfish

eldritchlulz

also weak

nickatnightwalker

yes, i know, your muscles schwarzenegger youll be back etc etc etc

[piesforjack]

conscientiouscoattwirling replied to your post “fic prompts?!?!”

i would really love to see a story where bitty is getting hit on aggressively by a drunk guy and jack jumps in to defend/protect him ive seen a few like these and i know bitty can stick up for himself but i really want to see one where jack is protective over a bitty who maybe doesn't know how to handle the situation ����

@bittysbowtie ask and ye shall receive! sorry it took so long, my friend!!!

(tw: for slight non-con (NOT sexual, but aggressive flirty behaviour) and description of an anxiety attack)

Bitty is used to sloppy drunk jocks, he lives in a house chock full of them, sometimes he is the sloppy drunk jock. So he understands just how not easy it is to be suave and gentlemanly three cups of tub juice in, really, he does. Normally, Bitty can handle even the sloppiest of drunk jocks (aka Holster, nine beers in, warbling out Adele at 3AM) but his tolerance might draw the line somewhere between obscene dance moves and uninhibited karaoke, and aggressively crowding into someone’s space with the most abhorrent liquor breath known to man.

He definitely isn’t a LAX bro, which thank God, he’s a new face. Bitty doesn’t recognize him at all, and even at his sloppiest he’s always able to recall familiar faces and their pies of choice.

This boy is tall, not quite Holster height but getting there. He has dark, heavy brows and a chin strap beard that Bitty’s itching to peel off like a sticker. Overall, he isn’t terrible looking, but Bitty doesn’t care for how close he’s standing, especially how his arm is squaring Bitty into the corner of the room, boxing him with no sight of almost anything other than this guy and his smarmy grin. Bitty is trying to stand on his tiptoes to make eye contact with any of the Haus boys, but he can barely catch a glimpse before his feet give out and he falls back to his normal height, cursing under his breath.

“So what’s your like, hockey spot?” The boy slurs. Bitty narrows his eyes.

“What? Hockey spot? Like, where we play? We play at Faber, obviously.” Bitty bit back an eye roll, his Mama raised him better than that. The boy just chuckled lowly, his mouth moving uncomfortably closer to Bitty’s ear.

“Like, I don’t know how to say it. But like, you seem a little small for a goalie.” The boys breath was warm and wet and almost sticky and Bitty shivered for all the wrong reasons. He needed to get out.

“Position, those are positions.” Bitty was choking out the words, trying to hold his breath and put as much distance between him and the stranger. He could distantly hear the front door open and close and a whirl of cheers spreading through the front hallway. 

“Position, that’s the word. What’s your position, uh...” The guy was fishing for a name, trying to be subtle in his execution, but Bitty didn’t take the bait.

“Right winger,” Bitty answered, trying to rise again to see what all the commotion was. He could catch flashes of Haus boys swarming to whomever had just come in the door. Bitty fell back to his normal height, puffing a loud sigh and crossing his arms; it seemed that Sir Chin-Strap was trying to close in even further and Bitty was running out of space to back in to.

“I have no fuckin’ idea what that is, but that’s hot.” The strangers words were dripping with an attempt at seduction, Bitty was squirming as the man’s lips brushed the skin just south of his earlobe.

“Where’s Bitty? He’ll want to say hello, for sure!” Bitty could overhear Chowder shouting. If someone would just look over this way. 

“Bitty? Itty Bitty, wherefore art thou?” Dex was calling out.

“Dude, wherefore art thou doesn’t mean ‘where are you’, it means ‘why are you’, brah,” Nursey slurred matter-of-factly. Bitty could almost see Dex’s face fuming.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Bits in a while,” Holster voice was edging with concern.

“Maybe he called it an early night? Maybe he was drinking more than we thought he was?” Ransom was reasoning with him.

“Should we check upstairs? I’ll check upstairs.” Chowder’s feet began pounding up the staircase.

“I’ll check the bathroom, Dex can check the basement, Nursey check the porch, Ransom can check the kitchen. Make sure the roof too, Chow!” Holster was dishing out orders. They were looking everywhere except where Bitty actually was.

No, no, no, no, no...Bitty’s fingers began twitching.

“Uh, I think I need to, go...over there, away, um, something--” Bitty was reaching out to gently shove past this stranger who had transitioned from uncomfortably close to actually touching, and Bitty was far from okay with that. But the man misunderstood (or simply ignored) the motion and crowded in further, pressing his chest flush with Bitty’s and dragging wet, sucking kisses down the column of Bitty’s throat. Bitty began clenching his fists, attempting to push back at the stranger, but the stranger was just a little too hefty for Bitty’s small range of motion to do much of anything.

“I have a boyfr--” Bitty was twisting his neck, trying to unlatch the leech of a human, while simultaneously pushing on the boys chest with his open palms to almost no avail. This only spurred the stranger on further.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot when you’re all...pushy. It’s sexy.” The man tried to bite at Bitty’s earlobe, and Bitty found himself whimpering in disgust, pushing harder still. The boy only laughed in his ear, pushing back harder. 

“Get. Off. Of me. I said I have a b--” Bitty was grunting out the words trying to push harder than his arms would allow, but the boy had a height and weight advantage. Just as Bitty was about to pull his trump card, a well-placed knee to the dick, the intrusive body was pulled from in front of him in a single swift movement.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jack. Bitty felt his tongue catch in his throat. Jack with his red flannel pulled tightly around his shoulders, Jack with his lips in a fury-fuelled snarl, Jack with eyes so sharp they looked like they were trying to slice the other boy in half. Jack who was supposed to be back home in Providence right now, Jack who Bitty wasn’t even expecting to see right now, not like this. 

Jack was...angry, angrier than Bitty had probably ever seen him. Jack held the stranger by his biceps, squishing them in in an uncomfortable looking way, forcing the guy onto his tiptoes with how hard Jack was gripping him.

“Hey fuck off, why don’t you. Just having a little fun, you fuckin’ shit disturber.” The drunk guy was laughing, laughing, as he spoke. Bitty feared for the stupid lumps life. The music was switched off, someone catching on to what was happening, a potential fight brewing in the corner of the main room.

“A little fun?” Jack’s voice was dangerously low-pitched. “You think kissing someone without their permission is a fucking game?” Jack’s nostrils flared. «You fucking piece of shit I swear to fu--» Jack was obviously winding up for a punch, but before he could pull his arm back to swing, Dex, Nursey, and Chowder were on him, grabbing his shoulders and arms in a tight grip to keep him from going for it. Just what he needs, one week into his NHL career and already in the news for punching a guy at a frat party. Bitty didn’t realize he was holding his breath until it rushed out of him all of sudden. Holster and Ransom rounded on the stranger and grabbed him by both his arms, respectively.

“Hey here’s an idea,” Ransom snarled. “How’s about you fuck right off.”

“Yeah, this is a consent only zone, you nasty fucker. Get the fuck out,” Holster growled.

“And stay the fuck out.” Ransom continued.

Bitty was watching as the boys promptly threw the stranger onto the porch, slamming the door behind him. In front of him, Dex, Nursey, and Chowder were easing up their grip on Jack, taking a few steps back as Jack’s face returned to its normal cloudy expression. Bitty was sheepish, he was bowing his head to avoid eye contact with anyone. It was embarrassing, everyone in the party was watching him, eyes flitting between him and Jack trying to put puzzle pieces together.

“Alright party’s fucking over, shape up and ship out, motherfuckers!” Holster and Ransom began shuffling people out and the frogs began a shakedown of the Haus for any wandering stragglers.

Bitty stood, feeling glued to his spot in the living room. It was just him and Jack now, standing in a thick silence.

“Jack I--” Bitty began.

“Let’s go upstairs, Bittle.” Jack’s voice was clipped, it was loaded with something, something Bitty could only foresee as disappointment or frustration, or maybe a mix of both. It was no secret that Bitty had had that effect on Jack in the past.

Instead of turning away immediately, Jack was waiting for Bitty to begin his ascent upstairs. Bitty kept his head down as he made his way up, Jack was following close behind, but not too much so. They boys still didn’t know about them, so Jack kept a reasonable distance. Regardless, Bitty felt a chill run up his spine, he may not have been able to feel Jack’s actual touch, but he could most certainly feel Jack’s stare burning right through him, slicing right to his core. It was a mix of both comforting and off-putting.

They climbed over the caution tape, and Bitty was reaching into his pocket for his key, sliding it into the lock and turning for the click. Jack was waiting, patiently, his expression calculatedly neutral. Bitty swallowed the lump growing in his throat.

Once beyond the threshold of his room, Bitty felt his shoulders relax; he didn’t realize they’d been hunched so tensely. Letting out a shaky sigh Bitty sat on his bed, his whole body seeming to sag with relief, the realization that he was safe and he was okay was finally starting to sink in. 

Jack stood in front of Bitty, unsure of what to do or say. Bitty felt much the same. 

“I’m sorry, Jack,” Bitty was mumbling. “I...I don’t know what I would’ve--What could’ve--I just, I’m sorry I let it get so far, I wish...I’m so stupid, I could’ve done something more. I’m so sorry.” Bitty felt his chest getting tighter as he spoke, his whole body felt like an elastic strung too tightly, ready to snap. Bitty was clenching his eyes shut, his foot tapping and his leg bobbing as his nerves wound him up further still.

“Bittle, Bitty...Eric,” Jack’s words were much closer than Bitty was expecting, he opened his eyes to see Jack on his knees in front of him, hands tentatively reaching out to rest of Bitty’s knees. “Please, please don’t be sorry.” Jack’s eyes were so sad, so full of a soft kind of sorrow that Bitty had only ever seen when Jack was wounded or heartbroken. “This isn’t your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, you shouldn’t--Bits, you can’t blame yourself.”

“Must be tiring, having to go the extra mile for me all the damn time, I’m so...I’m so bad at everything I can’t seem to get it right ever, God dammit! I’m so--” Bitty felt himself shaking, his breath coming quicker and more shallowly, he felt his hands start to shake and his breath felt wonky in his chest. Jack reached out more firmly, gripping Bitty’s knees tightly, attempting to ground him in this moment, in reality. Bitty was trying to force his breath even but it wouldn’t cooperate. Jack folded Bitty’s hands in his, pressing them to his own chest as he took slow, even breaths. 

“Easy, breathe easy, just like this. Breathe with me, mon cher.” Jack was maintaining eye contact, the blue of his irises seeming warmer and gentler as he breathed slowly and surely. Bitty felt the tension in his neck release as he breathed slowly, he didn’t notice when he’d started crying, but he felt the tears slow to a trickle as his breath evened out and his hands stopped shaking. Jack held him like this for minutes, maybe hours, Bitty couldn’t tell. There was nothing around them, not even time itself, just Bitty, Jack, and the moon, breathing and existing together.

Jack began pressing soft kisses to Bitty’s hands, his wrists, his fingertips, slowly bringing Bitty back down to earth.

“I’m sorry I didn’t...I should’ve...” Bitty trailed off, he didn’t know how to finish that sentence, everything he thought of saying felt hollow and redundant, instead, he tangled his fingers with Jack’s. “What--what are you even doing here, anyhow?” Bitty spoke softly, not quite trusting his voice. “Lord knows I’m glad you are, but, I thought you had practice? And meetings? I thought--” Bitty paused as Jack chuckled softly, but not unkindly, pressing another flurry of kisses to Bitty’s hands.

“I do, and I did, but I figured I still had some spare time to make an appearance, I was invited after all.” Bitty’s mind wandered to the off-hand text exchange from earlier that day, though he didn’t really expect Jack to take him up on his offer. 

“It feels like it’s been forever since I saw you in person. I’ve been missing you.” Jack squeezed Bitty’s hands a little more firmly as he spoke; Jack was smiling now, a small curve, but a smile nonetheless. “I’ve missed getting to hold you, even if it can only be for a few hours. I wanted to see you, kiss you goodnight, maybe even lie with you for a while. Just wanted to be with you.” Jack always complained how bad he was with words, but what Jack was saying was like music to Bitty’s ears. Bitty felt himself start to blush all over, his cheeks feeling warm, his heart beating a little bit quicker. Jack would never know just how good he was with his words.

Bitty leaned forward to rest his forehead with Jack’s. “Oh you fool. You sappy, silly, boy, I--Thank you, is what I think I mean. Thank you, just for bein’ you.” Bitty shook his head lightly in disbelief, this boy.

Jack smiled more fully, pulling back to place a small kiss just on the tip of Bitty’s nose.

“Tourjours, mon cœur,” Bitty giggled softly, his whole body feeling lighter and calmer and oh boy was he tired.

“You should get some sleep,” Jack spoke as if he was reading Bitty’s mind. Bitty let out a yawn as a response.

Changing into one of Jack’s Falconers shirseys and a pair of thick sweatpants, Bitty slid under the covers, Jack sliding in alongside him.

“I have to leave in a few hours, and I should probably talk to the boys before I go, but I’ll stay until you fall asleep. I promise.” Jack drew a little ‘x’ over his heart with his index finger, Bitty found it hopelessly endearing.

“What will you tell ‘em? What will they...?” Bitty trailed off on another yawn.

“I’ll make something up if it comes up, don’t worry. You are, this, is more important.” Jack allowed Bitty to snuggle up right under his chin, folding his arms around him easily, rubbing small, slow circles into Bitty’s back and shoulder blades.

“Mmph...” Bitty trailed off, his mind going blank as sleep took hold. He felt so safe and warm and loved, even if the word hadn’t come up yet, maybe his heart knew something Bitty’s brain hadn’t caught onto yet. If his heart was right, which Bitty was almost certain it was, he new the feeling on his part was the same. And that was good enough for right now.

[comicteaparty]

December 28th, 2017 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 28th, 2017, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Cosmic Fish by Cosmographia.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning. Today we are discussing Cosmic Fish by cosmographia~! (http://cosmicfishes.com/) For those new to CTP, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer so pay them no mind if you wish~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! Each chat a top comment will be picked and featured on an ad for this chat, so let’s have a great discussion~!

With that said, let us begin with this first question~!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

for me my favorite scene is the silent interaction between syias and bells while they are fighting ramus. i think so much of the visuals to the moment illustrate their relationship beautifully. it was a moment that really cemented them as my favorite guardians in the story

another scene that im particularly fond of is that one where bells and schnell talk and he tells her to change her strategy. there was something ominously dark about it in a way that felt....realistically practical? cause while i dont trust schnell's intentions, i cant disagree with his practicality in the matter. i mean is he really wrong since insofar, it doesnt seem bells' strategy has been particularly effective

✨Tenor✨

I haven't gotten to read this week but I've seen the art and style and it looks super good so I'm hoping to catch up after my end of the month rush

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes you should. cosmic fish is a very well-illustrated comic. and the lore behind it is pretty intense. i think a lot of aspects capture that its its own world

cosmographia

Hello everyone!! So sorry for being a tad late

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats okay a lot of the regulars are late/might not come i guess? holidays have been killer i imagine

cosmographia

yeah it's been a busy time for all

but ey I am SO glad that both Syias and Schnell's scenes are really effective! It's really fun to write characters that are morally gray

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im glad to hear. moral grayness can be a challenge to write for sure.

syias i think is more sympathetic than schnell. schnell is kind of a jerk cause enigmatic reasons. whereas syias is a jerk cause gotta do whats good for the world and then he head pat apologies bells.

i might be biased cause i have a fondness for the guardians XD

for me theyre one of the most interesting parts cause of their roles and how they interact with others

cosmographia

hahahahaha that's definitely fair! they're slowly coming into the picture and become more prominent in this chapter and so forth. (the guardian lore is insaaane and I'm so glad we're finally there hahahaha)

✨Emma the Festive🍠Potato✨

I liked the beginning of chapter 5

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. admittedly from a more critical level ive been liking the later chapters a smidgen more cause its tying things that happened earlier together a lot better. cause the initial chapters while well-written, always kind of felt connected mostly by protagonist. but the later chapters are really making everything seem like threads of the same world since motivations and past events and all that stuff is coming into play

what did you like about it specifically @✨Emma the Festive🍠Potato✨ ?(edited)

cosmographia

yess! I'm really glad to hear that! The first chapters are definitely meant to feel a little looser until all the pieces come into play. And Emma, I'm glad chapter 5 is really clicking with you!

✨Emma the Festive🍠Potato✨

I guess the end of chapter 4 is included in the reason why I like it It's just when we see that Ramus has become huge and stuff, I felt that was really impactful

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ah yes, thats definitely a good reason. my heart was a little broken from that moment. cause it was like the emobidment of worst case scenario

and after seeing hte flashback

can just imagine how many people are going to be sad and crying O_O

except for schnell. schnell probs just gonna shrug say welp sucks to be ramus

cosmographia

hahahahahah

I think an important thing to keep in mind is that Schnell is...very old and even if he claims to be a guardian he still doesn't have the same concept of time as they do, so he's probably bitter and tired of that by now

there's a comic I haven't uploaded onto the main site yet (since there already was a gone fishing between chapters 5 and 6) that kind of explores Schnell how he was 250 years before the current events

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

oh man that sounds super interesting. especially cause schnell who in my opinion is the most mysterious of all the time.

his weariness definitely comes through though i think

especially through his expressions

where they just always struck me as someone saying "dang kids and their newfangled ways"

cosmographia

HAHAHAHAH

that is not far off honestly

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

lol oh man, i must understand schnell better than i realize then.

✨Emma the Festive🍠Potato✨

Yeah Schnell is cool and interesting, I would like to know more about that guy

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Bells and Schnell are entangled in a complicated “game” that directly correlates to ghosts coming into existence. However, Schnell is enigmatic at best. What is Schnell’s goal with this game, and why does he care about ghosts being saved? Why does Bells even agree to play this game? As the first ghost, how did Schnell come to exist? Does it have anything to do with the game? Lastly, what is this “fish” that Schnell’s mentioned to Bells that would make his job easier?

cosmographia

hahahaha as is with the story, there's going to be a few bits and pieces about Schnell presently, but as for his backstory and past in general, is still going to take a bit to explore (to not lunge the reader with too much information, especially since we're still in the adaluxen arc) 2) Great questions, one second!

- What is Schnell’s goal with this game, and why does he care about ghosts being saved? Schnell originally served under Bells (in the Monster King comic, he's still wearing what is currently called the Guardian uniform) and he assisted Bells in returning ghosts back to where they came from with other characters we may have met but can't say ;D So despite him being tired of what he defines as "Bells' constant failures" and even promoting them (as he says in chapter 4 that he IS to blame with why Acantha wasn't saved), he's trying to use negative reinforcement to get Bells to do [something] I can't say yet but it's definitely related to Schnell's earliest memory he told Acantha in chapter 4. (About the white being that drinks tea) -As the first ghost, how did Schnell come to exist? That is sadly a spoiler for now, but he is definitely telling the truth that he was a ghost and with Bells' and the other guardians misunderstanding of what a ghost was (since they had never seen one before) did lead to how he got his powers. (This will be explored later) -Does it have anything to do with the game? The "game" was invented after Schnell stopped working for the guardians, it's more of a jab as in "if you're not going to take this seriously, let's make it a game then" kind of approach. -Lastly, what is this “fish” that Schnell’s mentioned to Bells that would make his job easier? The fish is actually a cosmic fish, they are actual physical entities but that's all I can say for now hahaha

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hmm some food for thought for theorizing

cosmographia

hahahah yea no definitely go ahead and share if you have any theories

MathTans the Pun Prince

I made it home! ^.^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im actually most surprised by the fact schnell actually helped return ghosts at one point. i personally always thought he was eternally bitter

welcome math~!

cosmographia

hello there! hahahahah

he holds bitterness and resentment for a lot of things since day 1 though, you are not far off it's just things that gradually evolved

MathTans the Pun Prince

Gonna take a second to catch up, but in terms of favourite scene, I actually liked the whole "Toy" side story. It showed the Guardians of the world, showed they weren't omnipotent, showed they were maybe out of touch through no fault of their own, just thought that was very clever.

(Delves into backlog.)

cosmographia

much like Acantha, he was very optimistic but after a while he lost it. So Schnell is semi-meant to represent the bitterness Acantha could eventually develop if she dwells on her failures

ey thanks! but oh man I'm so glad the out of touchness is clear in that!! guardians are definitely out of touch with the world, of all ironies

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

for me the out of touchness perhaps more came about when ramus attacked i think

just cause they didnt pay mind to the ppl around

just were focused on fighting

and syias was like "yeah sure another guardian can show up im sure nobody will freak out"

cosmographia

yea that's definitely important later

even with Bells trying to befriend Acantha, she's more determined like "I'M approaching her so it'll be cool right" without actually considering the harm's she's done (the collar, some resentment, etc.)

MathTans the Pun Prince

Yeah, lots of lore in this one. Interesting how things don't necessarily end happy or sad, it's just like, this is how things are for better or worse. Also, yeah, like Bells as a character.

Guardians are interesting in general.

cosmographia

yessssss, thank you Math!

I'm sometimes worried the comic comes off as too pessimistic when it's meant to be an inbetweener

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i cant speak for everyone but i think its an inbetweener. or more accurately, i think the story is just reality based, in that reality isnt pessimistic or optimistic 100% of the time

it just is what is it

bad stuff happens

and ppl have to keep living

so really i just feel like the characters are living actual live

s

that have consequences

MathTans the Pun Prince

Acantha took getting used to as well. What with the attitude and stealing and stuff. (Which is weird to say, because my protagonists aren't always sweetness and making the right decision either.) I gravitated a bit to Bells.

cosmographia

Ah Rebel I'm really glad to hear that!! Hahahah I think that's fair, she's definitely written to be bratty at first

MathTans the Pun Prince

Q2: Schnell just seems to have it in for Bells somehow? Like, maybe he had mother issues in his life and he's taking it out on her as "mother ghost" kind of deal IDK. Using everyone else to do that.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

man i cannot unpicture someone pointing at schnell and just shouting "you have mother issues!"

XD

cosmographia

HAHAHAHA

MathTans the Pun Prince

Once we see Acantha's history she becomes loads more sympathetic too, to be clear.

cosmographia

p sure if/when the ghost kids find out about that they'll just slowly turn to him and go "REALLY????" cuz THEY definitely have valid father-figure issues

good!!

MathTans the Pun Prince

"Were you hugged enough as a child?"

cosmographia

Hahahahahahahaha

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i really appreciated acantha's backstory. i think it was super needed right at the point it was presented. cause it finally showed that her own actions and attitude were a direct result of her past and what happened

cosmographia

good!! There's definitely chunks missing from there but they'll be studied throughout the story (and also gone fishing short stories thrown here and there)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

>v>

in regards to question two part of me has been wondering if schnell just doesnt like his own life and he wants ghosts to be saved so he himself can be saved and move on.

MathTans the Pun Prince

Yeah, negative reinforcement is really kind of a dick move. IMHO. Hmm, so cosmic fish bunnies exist outside of space time?

(Ok, caught up...)

cosmographia

ooh ho ho nice theory Rebel! Ah yeah cosmic fishes are not directly related to Lheur (but I can say he is part cosmic fish, but not entirely)

MathTans the Pun Prince

I kind of wonder if Schnell really does know more than he lets on. Like, maybe he's been able to exist as long as he has by drinking the blood of virigins every hundred years. And he doesn't want anyone to kill because then they might stumble on the secret too.

Lheur is a fish offspring perhaps.

cosmographia

hahahahah no it's not THAT dark hahahahhaha mmmmaybe ;D

though I CAN say that, like guardians, cosmic entities like the fish and such can't biologically reproduce

wishjacked

Oh hey, I'm not going to be able to talk much (I'm at a holiday party!!) but I wanted to say that I finally read through the chapter three epilogue after this comic being on my TBR for ageeeeeees and I cannot wait to read the rest!!

MathTans the Pun Prince

(Have I mentioned I put out crazy theories? Cuz I do that.)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ah see, clearly bells made schnell on purpose cause she was like "ah man being a mom would be great" and now schnell is bitter cause he has an eternity to live

cosmographia

hi Wishjack, thank you!!! And I hope you have a wonderful time at the party (hahaha no problem at all, I find them funny)

hahahahah

MathTans the Pun Prince

Hiya wishjacked! Any fave in what you read?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thanks for stopping in wishjacked~!

cosmographia

Bells "aw man I definitely wish I knew what being a mom is like" -creates the most brattiest, entitled little thing- "....dammit"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

meanwhile syias is in the bg saying i told you so

wishjacked

Such a good story so far, I'm really enjoying the characters and worldbuilding!! The bit with the mayor getting eaten by the starfaces was my favorite moment so far, and I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing how the story progresses!! Schnell's design slays me every time, it's so good.

cosmographia

ahh thank you wishjacked!!

and PFFT

Syias: lemme guess, now you want a PET? -Lheur shows up- Syias: OH COME ON.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. One of the larger conflicts in the comic is whether or not ghosts can be saved. Exactly why do ghosts form in the first place? Do you think they can actually be saved? Why can’t the guardians save them from the get-go? If ghosts are doomed to become monsters/change like Ramus, why hasn’t Schnell changed? Is this human character, Midah, going to have some role in their salvation? Speaking of which, what is Lheur’s (the rabbit-fish) role in all this?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Oh yeah! That thing with Mayor Pain was clever in terms of showing the light/dark reversal kind of thing too. Like, how it was actually not a bad thing and just part of "life", such as it is.

Also, twintailed star people. Strangely cute.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i liked mayor pain's reaction to being "eaten"

that was like a hilarious expression moment all around for everyone

cosmographia

Hahahahah! okay yea one sec!

MathTans the Pun Prince

Also, french bread puns (and puns in general) gets an A+.

When having dinner, Lheur might have a minute amount of seconds.

Going back to the quesiton, I wonder if ghosts form from things other than humans.

(Schnell has the blood of virgins thing going for him, like vampires...)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

oh thats a good question math

i never considered that possibility

MathTans the Pun Prince

It just seemed like if they have no memory of being human, maybe they weren't, but I'm not sure about the alternative.

As to Lheur's role, it seems to be making collars.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hmm. its possible. although i considered the fact they dont remember being human is just from the sheer fact they no longer possess the brain that contains their memories. so its not like theyd have concept of what a human even is

MathTans the Pun Prince

Mayor Pain wasn't exactly human either though.

Of course, that might have been another plane of existence entirely.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah we do gotta remember lheur teleported them somewhere. who knows where that even was.

not to mention theres monsters besides ghosts anyway

so the existence isnt that odd

MathTans the Pun Prince

True. Maybe it's regrets of the guardians made manifest or something. >.<

cosmographia

Exactly why do ghosts form in the first place? I can't really give the exact reason as to WHY they're there without diving into spoilers, but ghosts' bodies are a defense mechanism to a world they're suddenly being thrust upon. They don't go through the normal developmental process of baby, childhood, teenager, adult, but are thrown in at mid-teenager and expected to pick everything up in a matter of days. So their bodies are responses to society, personal, and cultural expressions and after a while they just CAN'T go back to where they came from (literally and metaphorically) Do you think they can actually be saved? I think anyone can be saved but it's not in the concepts a lot of western cultures define it as. It's not that someone like a friend or a romantic partner saves you or a higher entity (in this case guardians), but more how much you're willing to accept your own flaws and work toward them for your OWN betterment and everything else comes afterward. So a lot of what happens later isn't about being saved by a guardian before they turn, but WHAT you do with the circumstances and your own definition. You sometimes can't take back the things you've said and done (Ramus physically hurting Hessa, and Acantha's crime that often gets talked about) but how you respond to it, gives it meaning (Ramus allowed his negative thoughts to control his life till he became a monster, Acantha just pushes forward) Why can’t the guardians save them from the get-go? The only guardians that have the connections to the ghosts are Bells and Syias mainly because they feel the life cycle being disturbed, but for them to actually locate a ghost is a bit of a task. Actually, I'll answer this question with another question, if in chapter 1 we see that Bells compresses the souls but we know they can't filter through the guardian, where does she take them? ;>

If ghosts are doomed to become monsters/change like Ramus, why hasn’t Schnell changed? That definitely has to do with his powers and something else we'll see at the very beginning of the next chapter ;D Is this human character, Midah, going to have some role in their salvation? HEHEH. We'll see. Speaking of which, what is Lheur’s (the rabbit-fish) role in all this? Honestly, I'm gonna explain this soon so I'll say it here, but Lheur's role is that he makes sure the universes are running smoothly and healthy. He's kinda like the little guy with a notebook who takes notes at anomalies and leaves, but has befriended Bells little by little through his visits And yea, the comic has never stated if they were human at all, and honestly, that doesn't matter since they can't go back nor have memories from that possibility. They could've been anything or even nothing! It's who and what they are now that counts

MathTans the Pun Prince

Speaking of western cultures, it's interesting to see some of the Puerto Rico tidbits. I like stuff like that.

cosmographia

oh I like that theory Math

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

peeks in

Hw yeveryone

Almost forgot about CTP again

cosmographia

Yea!! I honestly wanted to make a comic that would motivate people to find the reference or see something and go "-gasp- that looks like the thing in Cosmic Fish!"

hello there!!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey super~!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hi Cosmo! Hi Rebel!

MathTans the Pun Prince

Well, and with Acantha's many eyes, I originally thought she was the comic fish. (Maybe she is, in a metaphor way?) But now it seems more likely to be beings like Lheur.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Also that's an intresting piece of trivia

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ah okay i guessed right on lheur. i thought thats what his role would actually turn out to be. that hes some being of order spying on things to make sure everything is okay. but then this begs the question of whether or not the ghosts are considered anamolies.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Refrences are fun to do

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

as for where bells took the soul i assumed it was to some cosmic place where the cosmic fish are

but now i think that makes is sound like the souls are fish food

cosmographia

Nice!! Ghosts are definitely anomalies ooh interesting guess! ovo

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Ooh is that so

MathTans the Pun Prince

The souls are soles? O.o

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and idk i could still argue acantha is the cosmic fish in a metaphorical sense, math. it depends on what the message of the comic is cause acantha could be considered the embodiment of the title even if shes not the literal fish as far as the lore is concerned

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also Acantha is the cutest thing with six eyes that I've seen yet(edited)

cosmographia

thank you justing!!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

if lheur is responsible for the collar i wonder if the collar is some sort of experiment from lheur's "superiors" to see if they can help ghosts move on and return things to status quo

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

You're welcome XD

MathTans the Pun Prince

I still have such a soft spot for Bells. With her rolly head. I don't like that Schnell teases her about it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm actually Justin but everyone in this group likes to call me Justing

cosmographia

yea!! Yea you're right on the money about the metaphorical title Rebel, cosmic fish is attributed to Acantha's personal growth + an actual thing in the story

oh ok sorry <"D

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lol it's k XD

MathTans the Pun Prince

OH, which reminds me, in one of those animated sequences (which OMG, very impressed that it's a thing) it looked like Bells' head was rolling away until she grabbed it and I laughed. (edited)

cosmographia

ooooh I love these theories

hahahahaha YEA!

MathTans the Pun Prince

Rebel: Hm, maybe? Are the true cosmic fish Lheur's surperiors, and they made him to keep tabs on things?

"Create some bunny ears to be more non-threatening."

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm also a total sucker for characters with stick eyes like Bells/Raju

(and thank you deeply for doing chapter recaps)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe. although makes me wonder what cosmic fish are again. like are they embodiments of the universe. beings that exist in the cosmic flow of life. O_O regular ol' space fish

cosmographia

hahahahah OH ey good!

hahaha

ah man I can't say yet

I CAN say they're kinda dumb.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

regular ol' space fish it is

cosmographia

hahahahahah

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

schnell just wants to have a good fish dinner

cosmographia

he just wants the pet fish Bells told him he wasn't responsible enough for it

MathTans the Pun Prince

They're Acantha's siblings sent back through time after she creates them.

cosmographia

oh GOD

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

I want a pet space fish

cosmographia

no , like...time is a thing but there's no legit time travel in the comic I REFUSE to work with time travel(edited)

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

that's understandable

since time travel is in everything these days

cosmographia

yeah honestly

also I don't want the answer to the comic to just be "time travel"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do kind of wonder if acantha had some sort of interaction with the cosmic fish unknowingly just cause she kind of wound up looking like a fish dragon thing

MathTans the Pun Prince

Hee. I do time travel. It's not as popular as you might think. ^^ But there was one remark about how time was fluid or something and so how they're not really ghosts, that's an element.

cosmographia

time is a very delicate and finicky thing in the comic so it's unreliable, nervous, and nobody likes it

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'd probobly try time travel a grand total of one time in my series(edited)

because the story is all about it

Especially since you have to write about things like, paradoxes

cosmographia

yeah!

MathTans the Pun Prince

Maybe Acantha will learn how to do the cosmic fish teleport, maybe that's what the collar is preparing her for.

cosmographia

and as for the question Rebel, it'd be interesting yeah! But for now nah, Acantha just looks fish-like because she was drowning. She isn't technically special in any way.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

oh really

cosmographia

ye ye

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 4. Our protagonist, Acantha, has numerous mysteries about her. With her being Bells’ newest strategy to save ghosts, the mysteries are more poignant than ever. Do you think Bells is right that Acantha might save the ghosts/prove Schnell’s wrong? While it’s implied Acantha broke the rulef about killing the past, what do you think exactly happened (and why does that rule exist)? Will she reunite with Hessa and the others? How will she react to Ramus’ death? Will we ever find out how Acantha became a ghost exactly due to Schnell’s machinations?

cosmographia

if anything Schnell is supposed to be the "special/chosen one/what have you" he's the half-and-half, as in, half ghost half guardian that stories usually use to treat as the hero but he ain't!!(edited)

MathTans the Pun Prince

Maybe Acantha broke the rule partly to annoy Schnell.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

what about half spider

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well i remember it was implied that she did it to protect the others

but from what

from some icky human

?

MathTans the Pun Prince

Schnell is like evil Hercules.

Maybe to protect them from Schnell. She says she doesn't trust him.

confleiks

so i may have just pictured schnell in an ill-fitting kid's costume of disney hercules

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

perhaps

MathTans the Pun Prince

Bells is Hades?

"Whoa, is my head off?"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

MIND BLOWN

MathTans the Pun Prince

Just reverse the morality.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hmmm

cosmographia

Do you think Bells is right that Acantha might save the ghosts/prove Schnell’s wrong? Their bet mainly consists that despite everything that happened, Acantha still saved a ghost (back in chapter 1) unlike what Schnell would have done. So, in a way, yes, I think Bells is on to something but is approaching it in a very black and white way and that can be bad for Acantha. So both need to work on their own things there. While it’s implied Acantha broke the rule about killing the past, what do you think exactly happened (and why does that rule exist)? There are a few reasons, killing is considered a problem with ghosts because, it's, well, bad, and it might speed up the process since ghosts change into monsters due to negative thoughts. Also since ghosts aren't SUPPOSED to be there, them killing someone is a paradox (though nothing universe breaking is happening, so it might just be guardian paranoia) and Schnell is against killing personally because he believes there are worse punishments. What Acantha did, IS covered soon, so I can just say, she deliberately killed a human and it wasn't even out of self-defense. Her own reasoning is understandable once that's taken place (it's foreshadowed a bit in Gone Fishing 003, the one with Midah) Will she reunite with Hessa and the others? Time will tell, but most likely because good narrative structure would incline that to be so, but it's really a matter of WHAT will happen and WHEN ;D How will she react to Ramus’ death? Oh we're finding out about that very soon, so stay tuned! Will we ever find out how Acantha became a ghost exactly due to Schnell’s machinations? Yesssss, by next chapter!

and hahahahaha

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

oh boy

dis is gonna be fun

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

my semi crack theory is that schnell happened upon unformed acantha and said "ah mother isnt here" and then he kicked her into the lake/river

and then sipped some tea

MathTans the Pun Prince

Speaking of Acantha and Schnell, Gallo was pretty cool. And funny at times. Though he really shouldn't have spilled the beans there, in retrospect.

cosmographia

hahahaha no she WAS there but close ;D

MathTans the Pun Prince

Possibly sipped the tea first.

cosmographia

hahaha

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Did i hear

tea

MathTans the Pun Prince

I also liked with Gallo's first appearance Acantha was all "nope nope nope". Then it got echoed later. Nice little throwback.

cosmographia

he really shouldn't have but I'm hoping once i get the short stories edited and out into the world, it's going to be very clear that the ghost kids are crazy dependent on Schnell as their fix-all solution YEEES

confleiks

@cosmographia HI MOM

cosmographia

good on ya for catching the callback

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

TEEEEEAAAAAA

cosmographia

@confleiks HI MOM

tea is important in the comic hahahaha well for a few characters but

MathTans the Pun Prince

Good on you for writing it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

@cosmographia HI MOM

I like comics that have tea as a theme for some reason

cosmographia

hahahahah

I'm trying to get to the page that the tea thing is mentioned

MathTans the Pun Prince

Also Gallo makes me think "pico de gallo" and he's red like salsa so that works.

cosmographia

http://cosmicfishes.com/comic/chapter-4-page-20/

Cosmic Fish

cosmographia

Chapter 4, page 20

HAHAH Gallo means rooster, so close enough!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i really like gallo's design. but speaking of gallo i enjoy the fact that there are certain things they cant do cause of how their bodies are made. like the fact gallo doesnt really have hands so has to pick stuff up with his teeth. thats a really nice detail

MathTans the Pun Prince

Hands are really an issue with the guy, of course.

Yeah, my spanish is not good. ^^;

cosmographia

yea!

Gallo is handicapped but it isn't plot or character-development related, it's just a thing that is and that's ok!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

so a cartoon monster or whatever Schnell is loves him some tea

MathTans the Pun Prince

Can Acantha ever close all her eyes? Like, I can see why she wouldn't like dark tunnels, not used to never seeing anything.

cosmographia

the two small ones have transparent eyelids like crocodiles

confleiks

I wonder if Acantha ever threw a blanket over his head because she thought he might think it's nighttime and fall asleep

cosmographia

but they see shapes and shadows for the most part

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lolol

cosmographia

HAHAHA

confleiks

YES HAHAHAHAHA

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats a good picture. i accept this as a canon scenario.

cosmographia

maybe it'll help her in her next stealthy heist

hahahaha

MathTans the Pun Prince

Oh yeah, cosmographia, saw some of your little pics at the bottom of some comics, those were clever.

cosmographia

ah thanks!!! poking fun at your own stories is A+

MathTans the Pun Prince

It's a thing with those who enjoy puns, maybe.

cosmographia

HA

maybe...definitely

there's a good number of puns or playful naming decisions for most characters here

MathTans the Pun Prince

I'm sure I only noticed half. ^^

cosmographia

hahaha well some become more relevant later

Acantha isn't JUST called Acantha because of the mirror decoration

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

OMG LOL

THAT PIC

MathTans the Pun Prince

So you have the whole thing sketched out for a while yet, eh?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

The rag is the ultiamte weapon

MathTans the Pun Prince

OOOooooh, interesting. (Reminded of the pic where she's just taking the mirror away, heh.)

cosmographia

she's a "support" for other characters ;3 likeapillarsupport...it'sagreekthing

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

heehee

cosmographia

hahahah

MathTans the Pun Prince

It's so ionic.

cosmographia

and YEAH! the characters are pretty old and the story took a long time in the oven andalotofreading

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

oh really?

how long have you been planning this comic?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i did wonder if acantha's meaning was super on purpose and not just cause timing and place XD

cosmographia

2012...? At least that's when the first draft happened, some characters are from 2009 or so

hahahahahah

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

ooh wow

cosmographia

yea it's unconscious but also it'll start gaining relevancy throughout the story right now it's just her own word for identity, so it's a "self" definition, and it needs to evolve into "action" or how it's perceived.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

mine started planning around '09, but I haven't started making the full story for it yet

cosmographia

ooh!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and I have a feeling it'll take me a long time

cosmographia

that's normal though, and also gives you a time to re-do things

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah

cosmographia

or re-establish them and make em more solid

MathTans the Pun Prince

The little plush doll cameos was cute in that one update too, wonder if that was inspired by something?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lots of things have changed in my project over the years, mostly for the better

(at least I hope the changes I did make were for the better)

cosmographia

CF definitely became WAY better when I started researching the science-y parts oh! it was a thank you for a lot of people who were supporting me at the time and just did a call on twitter and fb if people wanted cameos

good!!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

oh nice~

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i like that idea of acantha's name turning from a piece of identification into an action. thats a really beautiful sentiment that i think suits the comic

cosmographia

whoo!!

thanks!

MathTans the Pun Prince

Gotcha. Animation bits also impressed me. Nice that you have the support and music and such for such things.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yea

MathTans the Pun Prince

And all the best with you health-wise cosmographia (I read some of the author remarks and comments).

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

Best of luck and hope everything goes smoothly

cosmographia

thanks!! I wanted to make animated bits for every chapter but that soon proved to be wayyy difficult. Major kudos to the musicians who've helped and sometimes having months in advance to plan out scenes. (Bells juggling her head while fleeing from Ramus was made like...5 months in advance)

ay thank you so much!!

MathTans the Pun Prince

That whole thing with Bells head, subtle running joke, don't know why it amuses me so much.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Welcome

MathTans the Pun Prince

Maybe cuz I like her character and it helps show that she's also a bit imperfect.

cosmographia

hahahaha GOOD!

confleiks

Bells is like a very excitable and eager to please ancient puppy and I love her so much

cosmographia

Bells was definitely made to APPEAR like the perfect fix-all character but definitely is neither of those things upon further inspection

yessssss :')

confleiks

she'd be a cocker spaniel or bassett hound because of her long ears :>

MathTans the Pun Prince

Hee! She has dogged perseverance.

confleiks

BA DUM TS

cosmographia

hahahahahaha

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

relatedly i want to say i really like the mentions of how the ppl worship the guardians. i think it really capture the disconnect between ppls idealistic image of them and the actual true nature of their existence

cosmographia

^^^^^ Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the Pun Prince

Another nice callback actually was when Acantha said she didn't like the story of the toy, which had been shown earlier.

Rebel: Very good point.

cosmographia

"the guardians are perfect and want what's best for us" -Bells trips in the next scene-

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the Pun Prince

Also, I think it was the right idea to not really have people until the later chapters. Keeps the focus on the curious beings, who are the major players.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

cosmographia

Ye!! It also kinda hinted that any potential narrator might not be a narrator but something....or someoooone

yea!!!!

cosmographia

"what's the toy?" Oh, literally just a bed time story Schnell told Acantha and she hated it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do like seeing humans tho. cause everyone kept mentioning them but i was like "where are they O_O"

cosmographia

HAHAHAH

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

"who are these "living" things"

MathTans the Pun Prince

"Humans are mythological creatures."

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Are ghosts made of flesh in this comic?

cosmographia

"they're not the center of the universe it seems, just some other random animal"

yeah they gain a physical body but they can't control it after a while

MathTans the Pun Prince

It is interesting that humans aren't really huge or anything though. They're size-wise about right for everything else, I think.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

ooh

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

alroight then

MathTans the Pun Prince

All the best with the fishy stuff going forwards then. ^.^

cosmographia

yea they're just...part of everything else. Which is also why I was very avoidant of using them at the beginning, cuz this isn't a story about them no matter how hard they try

cuz we humans naturally desire to be the protagonists

MathTans the Pun Prince

Good call.

cosmographia

so the narrative is purposely going "there they are...in the distance. Moving on."

MathTans the Pun Prince

We're also sometimes the antagonists.

cosmographia

they're not good, they're not bad, they're there.

yep!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party is now complete~! Thank you everyone so much for joining this week’s chat~! That being said, if you would like to continue discussing the comic, we encourage you to do so~! We want to give a big thank you to cosmographia, as well, for volunteering Cosmic Fish for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support cosmographia’s efforts. If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions about CTP, please feel free to PM me, or e-mail me at rebelvampire@startfaire.com.

With that said, next week’s Comic Tea Party will focus on Final Light by BraveHeartTatsumaki. Please use this week to read as much of the comic as you would like. Hope to see you next Thursday (January 4th, 2018) from 5PM to 7PM PST~! Until then~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/FinalLight