#sorry it’s blue i didn’t want to spend all the extra time copypasting it

[selchwife]

it isn’t any secret i go on reddit compulsively to make myself upset after experiencing Symptoms bc i have a cool ocd feedback loop happening and god this time im so frustrated because like.

i saw this video of people attending “DID con” (as described by le redditor) and three of the people in the video have canes with them, so of course a bunch of the comments are like “HAHA THEYRE FAKING DID AND NEEDING A CANE HOW FUCKED UP!!” and going on about like. how everyone is faking pots lately or some evil shit like that.

and like stuff like this isn’t something i should be exposed to and i probably wouldn’t be worried if i didn’t see it, but i do so I am always like. worried that if i were to try to take my cane in public this would happen. honestly sometimes I’m afraid people will think I’m faking my limp, which at this point I’m so used to doing subconsciously it’s difficult to even like, put weight on my bad leg without effort toward thinking about it.

and it especially sucks bc the DID and the injury are results of the same thing. like, the DID is bc of childhood abuse; the leg is fucked up because when i was in high school i injured it in gym and my mom refused to take me to a doctor until i begged and then refused to help me with physical therapy, so it stayed pointing in the wrong direction forever, and then got damaged FURTHER when she pulled The Stunt Of December 2021 and i was in such a horrible panic that i tripped on the stairs and badly sprained it. like im no doctor but im fairly sure those combined are why it’s so uncomfortable all the time and why it’s so difficult to stand for long periods or walk or put weight on it

so like i struggle really badly with this feeling of like “ok well nobody will believe me about the mental effects of my abuse, ok. Or the physical effects of my abuse and neglect. okay. so….no matter what someone is going to accuse me of lying about the effects? well shit, who’s going to believe me about the CAUSE?” and it’s very very frustrating.

and on a note that’s more relevant to this blog, like, i feel silly but i do desperately wish I could ask emet for help, because i hate how ive gotten so afraid to be in public alone for fear of either being stranded bc I’m in too much physical pain to go home or being mocked and accused of faking a disability in public bc I had the audacity to have a limp (the less realistic fear).

[applesontheground]

Riiii hiii could I please have the rest of the letters for Leslie if it’s okay? 💜💜

-NITL✨

ABSOLUTELY OMG??

(also, i like to keep my ducks in a row, so to have the whole alphabet under the cut i copypasted my answers from my other leslie post into this as well! sorry to make you read them twice lol)

⚠️ NSFW BELOW THE CUT ⚠️

DIRTY HEADCANONS A-Z

Alone Time Leslie is a guy with a decent imagination, and he’s easily gotten off just from a thought that was vivid enough rather than needing something to look at when he’s by himself. He spends a lot of time planning his outings, and I’d say he takes his fantasies by an almost similar approach. Lots of care, lots of research, and of course lots of preparation.

Bondage He likes it both ways, and while it does give him a boner both physically and in his heart when he’s tying an S/O up and has full control while he plays out whatever he wants, them completely submissive to it and trusting in him … he’s also a fan of being edged while not being able to do a thing about it too. That’s not something often said aloud, nor something that comes before a lot of trust has been built with said S/O, but once he’s there it’s one of his favorite things.

Also this is just me but I’d imagine he’d love a good Shibari tie, like this. (click at your own risk, it’s obviously nsfw hehehe)

Crying He would be very taken back if he fucked you good enough to make you cry, and while it doesn’t necessarily turn him on or encourage his boner/make him want to get you to cry more, he’ll think of it as a connection that’s been made. It’d be kinda funny if he didn’t know sometimes people cry during sex just because, but anyone who loved him would see his face when the first honest sob left your mouth and decide it’s best not to tell him...(at least, I wouldn’t.)

Dominance He absolutely prefers to have the upper hand, even in the bedroom. That doesn’t mean he won’t let a partner attempt to take that from him, and if they want to try and dom him, he’s going to give them a fair shot. He’ll enjoy it regardless of if they succeed or not, as he does with games like these. All I’ll say to a daring Leslie fucker is that you got to know what you’re doing, and as much as he loves you he loves to make you know just how smart he is too.

Extra Info - You’re going to be fucked around/in the orchard at least once. He’s going to ask you to keep quiet, and see how long you can go. - Despite being a tough nut to crack, once you got him submissive he’s all over you. Face in the crook of your neck, whimpering like you’re hurting him and whispering the sweetest nothings. Very talkative when he’s broken down. - Very into weapon play and leaving marks with his sickle over other methods -- whether that’s cutting, flogging with it so it leaves crescent-shaped patterns on your body, etc.

Food Play I...I don’t personally think there’s a lot of food in the bedroom, haha. Maybe like, an apple as a joke just sitting on the nightstand or something, but I’m fresh out of headcanons for this one! (I apologize and plan to make up for this one in ‘J’, lol!)

Group Sex Leslie wouldn’t be interested in adding a third person + engaging in group sex unless his partner talks him into it. He’s not opposed to the idea, but is a little shy about this type of thing and assumes he just likes having one other person. He’s got an open mind about it, and if he’s lured in by his person he’s all for it. (Poly ships with Leslie are a cute thought, ngl ;;)

Humiliation Leslie loves to verbally tease his partner, but generally keeps it lighthearted and peppered with a healthy balance of affections/kisses/etc. If you’re egging it on and giving him it back, though, he’s prone to get a little meaner or assertive with it. Like most things with challenging his upper hand, do it at your own risk!

Impact Play While Leslie isn’t jumping on the idea to slap/use a flogger/etc. out of the blue, kind of drifting more towards something more sensual or soft when left to his own accord, he’d become more inclined if he’s got someone that’s pushing his buttons. Frustrate him and he might use the flat of a blade/whatever’s in close range for him to use.

Jelly Flavored lubes pique his morbid curiosity so hard! Yes, he’d probably just straight up lick it off your finger before you two even have a chance to take it for a spin -- just so he knows what he’s gonna be in for. 😝 Also, remember that part in the movie where he was putting on that homemade face stuff and explaining how he added a flame retardant and all? He’s made his own lube at least once. Look me in the eye and tell me he wouldn’t.

Kissing He likes keeping most of his kisses around the face/neck, finding it the most standard spot but also just liking being at that level with his partner. He’s also partial to hip/V kisses, especially if his S/O is ticklish and will get a big reaction from it. As for what he likes getting kissed? The chest and the knuckles. Just little spots that not everyone gets access to all the time. When it comes to leaving mouth marks or hickeys, he’s more into doing that through weapon play/rope.

Lighting It wouldn’t be set to be the perfect session without the proper lighting, now would it? Leslie will usually take it into account along with other details: the amount of light in the place him and his squeeze are gonna be doing it, what time of day it’s going to be when he plans to strike, etc. I’d say his favorite is dim. Like, flickering candle-light dim -- or under the moonlight. Minimal lighting makes him 🥰🥰🥰

Masochism Leslie likes pain in a fashion where he can see how far he can go, I think. Not really one to take it because he likes pain, but he likes to find his threshold. As for causing pain, he finds it in the same wheelhouse as crying: It enamors him, but doesn’t make him feral per se.

Not Yet I feel like a broken record, but edging/orgasm denial is another instance of power play for him! Leslie enjoys edging as an endurance test for both him and his partner, and will definitely indulge someone who also enjoys seeing how much they can take. If they give into it and cum, though, the orgasm will be a temporary bliss before he has his fun.

Outdoor Sex If this was a checkmark box, he’d just select ‘yes’ without further explanation. He’s done it outside, he enjoys doing it outside, and when the mood strikes him he will find a way to take it outside – especially if him and his partner are getting rough with it. If you really want me to go into my headcanon on this, he has a little bit of an exhibitionism kink and the risk of getting spotted works him up more than he cares to admit. He prefers to never pass the edge and be found out, of course, but also likes to hear unsuspecting suspicion from a distance while he’s doing the do, feeling the possibility grip him by the shoulders.

Photography Oh, like this little shit wouldn’t send you nudes when he knows you’re somewhere public or doing something important. Bonus points if he decides to find you, watch from a distance as your eyes boggle and your hands fidget after playing with your phone and seeing it. He’d never ask, but if you send them back he’d cherish them. Keep them somewhere discrete on his phone and look when he’s missing you, the standard. 🥰

Quiet, Please Leslie is a fan of whispering/keeping his volume low. You can get him whining with certain actions (See: E, Z), but he tends to keep his own noises at a minimum. If anything, there’s more focus on your noises. He loves learning the intricacies of every little moan, grunt, sigh that comes from you when he does certain things. He’d sometimes play with keeping you quiet if you guys engage in the more public outings, but is mostly game for letting you express yourself. The vulnerability is a turn on!

Routine He loves to incorporate the element of surprise into his endeavors, so I’d say obvious routine is rare. He’s one of those enigmas where everything and nothing is planned all at once, so while the timing might be pulled from a hat upon first glance...you’ll lay there afterwards and realize he knew that was going to happen. I guess it boils down to how observant you are, and if the clues he may leave for you catch your eye.

Sleepy Sex (i am a somno slut so i’ll try to behave with this one) I’d say if it’s discussed or he knows you like it, Leslie would absolutely try to wake a partner up/put them to sleep with oral. He’s a dog for his partner being utterly open with him to the point where they can’t control showing themselves, letting him know they want him and will sometimes do whatever he desires to let him make them cum. It’s the hottest thing to him to see them in a half-awake state, begging or making more noise than they usually do. As for him, he’s not opposed to it at all, but prefers being woken up over falling asleep during it.

Top or Bottom I’m going to say Leslie prefers to top. He likes to be the one pulling the strings, tightening the rope, etc. Not to say he doesn’t like giving that control up -- but only if he feels it’s earned. He doesn’t sub without a fight, haha!

Underwear Leslie wears the kind of boxer briefs with little room. He thinks aerodynamics matter when he’s doing work-related stuff, and usually people are too taken back by that kind of reasoning to argue. Sounds right, I guess. As for lingerie, he’s all eyes for it on a partner (Immediate thought: Oh, you want to look special for me? 🥺) and loves to indulge them in turn if they like to see it too. Also, just a me thing I think but he looooves corset + collar combos...

Voyeurism Leslie likes to occasionally watch his partner without them knowing. It’s in his resume, after all, and while he tries not to make his sex life a spitting image of his work life he can’t help incorporating the parts about both that he finds fascinating. That includes watching, having those strange moments where the other person thinks he’s there but can’t quite be sure. He sometimes can hold off to watch you do chaste things, like change clothes or go about your day without being aware he’s got eyes on you. It riles him up, and while usually it makes him want to go for the throat he more so wants to just pepper you with kisses when it comes to a partner rather than a victim.

Water Akin to ‘F’, I’m gonna say he isn’t terribly interested in shower/underwater sex. Doesn’t strike me as the type to be about it, but I mean, if his partner wanted to get it on by a lakeside he’d run with the outdoor part of that just fine, lol!

X-Dressing When it comes to costumes, Leslie is not afraid to fuck in his slasher getup to play into his partner’s own fantasy, and sometimes his own. He also doesn’t really mind if his partner wants to see him in lingerie, and like I’ve said in ‘U’, he enjoys it on the other person too.

Yes, Master Leslie is like Lester, where he’d just nut if a partner said his name because it’s such a serious thing to him in the moment. ...It’s pet name city with this guy, though. You will never hear your name with him when he’s in the bedroom besides when he needs to get your attention back on him or he’s overwhelmed (which is rare but not impossible). Other than that, lots of sweets, cutie, hottie-with-the-body, etc... He’ll find something that fits you just fine!

Zones Adding onto ‘K’ somewhat, the chest is a big erogenous spot on Leslie. If he’s going to lose volume control at any point during the act, it’d be if he’s already halfway there and his partner starts putting their hands/mouth on his pecs (or god forbid play with his nipples). Even having an S/O sleep with their head on his chest sometimes gets him hot under the collar and a little sensitive to touching as a whole, even when it’s an otherwise chaste situation.