#sorry it wasnt angsty dsjhsdglshkfjs

[bluegarners]

"Of all the irresponsible, outlandish stunts; what were you... oh man, you look like hell."

If you're still doing these (they've been lovely angsty fun to read 🤣 thanks for doing them!)

"Of all the irresponsible, outlandish stunts; what were you... oh man, you look like hell."

"Really?" Jason drawls, snapping his wrists back and forth, flicking mud and grime off of his person. "How astute of you. Channeling your inner-Bruce, hm?"

Dick sighs, offering a towel to the second eldest and turning to the third. When he raises an eyebrow in what he hopes is authoritative inquiry, his younger brother merely shrugs, just as un-caring and grime covered as the other.

"Hey, look at it this way," Tim offers, rocking his head side-to-side to dislodge dank water from his ears. "At least no one got hurt."

"Right," Dick sighs, throwing a towel over the drenched teen-but-almost-not-a-teen-anymore, "because that's what matters here."

A dramatic gasp escapes Jason, and Dick feels like sighing again. "Are you saying you'd rather someone get hurt than us doing our brotherly duty?"

"No, of course not," Dick says, patient and ever so horribly used to the drama that is many, many siblings. "I would have much preferred something normal though. Literally anything other than the two of you spelunking into Gotham's reservoirs."

"Hey now," Tim chides, wagging a dirty finger at his older brother. "It was for a good cause." Motioning over to the equally dirty plastic wrapped object resting on the table, Tim sounds proud. "We have officially gotten the best present that not even you could top."

"And I am absolutely ecstatic over the fact that you've taken Damian's birthday so seriously," Dick agrees, a small warmth in his chest as he says it, "but did you guys really need to risk so much just for a turtle? You couldn't have gone to a pet store or something?"

Another mock gasp erupts out of the second eldest, and Dick reminds himself to just accept the antics next time. "It has a name, and her name is Shelly." He pulls out the small box inside of the plastic wrapping, showing off the small black and yellow turtle inside, a long scar down the middle of its shell and a missing back leg. "Okay, maybe the name needs work, but as of now, she is family."

"Great," Dick mutters, trying to turn his grimace into a smile. "All we need is some mutagen and she'll fit right in."

"She's a misfit," Tim adds helpfully. "Jason and I saw her go down the sewer, so of course we had to follow. Isn't that a thing Damian does? Collect strays and the weird ones?"

"I do not collect them," a snide voice cuts in, the sounds of boots rapidly descending the stone staircase following. Both Jason and Tim rush to conceal their latest adventure. "I nurse them back to health and they decide when they are ready to leave." Stepping down at last and entering the mud-room, Damian scrutinizes the trio carefully. "What is going on here?"

"Uh, bro-talk," Jason supplies. "You know, gossip. Dick here just got done telling us about this new green drink he tried. What was it again?"

"Right, right. It was something called a Guava-Spinach slurp? Mmm, yeah, really good. Dames, you should come with me next time and try—"

"No," Damian huffs, rolling his eyes as he decides the conversation was truly nothing. "I am not keen on ruining my taste buds, thank you." He walks away, presumably towards the training mats, and the three boys let out a sigh of relief.

"Alright," Tim says, clapping his hands together. "Mission Shelly is a go. First order of business: who's telling Alfred? One-two-three, not it!"

"Not it!"

"Ah shit," Jason whines. "Why do I have to?"

"Thems the rules," Dick reminds him, patting his shoulder consolingly. "Thems the rules, Jay. The price of 'brotherly duty' as you say."

"I hate you." A pause. "Shelly does too."

Dick laughs, following Tim out the door. "Good luck~"