#sorry it was long as frick

[sketchthetofu]

Is this how you draw Dakota Cole???? Have I finally done it??? Is this the silly redhead superhero from Prime Defenders???

[ganondoodle]

everyones more than welcome to send me asks about stuff* btw, i know i havent been that good in answering, but i think thats largely bc i always want to do too much, like .. drawing entire character design sheets and everything and then never having the energy or motivation for it so it sits around like all of my hundreds of wips i never finished bc i lost energy/motivation, waiting for it to come back .. which might never happen (and i still dont know how to handle compliments ,, i might never will tbh- if i havent answered a compliment its very very likely i dont know how to properly convey my gratitude- feeling like theres no amount of things i can do or say to 'pay back'? ... kinda weird if you think about it .. but i am weird so what do i know jsklfnhsdk, i promise you i treasure it)

im pretty sure not everyone that sends an ask expects a drawing or multiple and pages long text right? thats my skewed perspective isnt it?

*stuff being like .. about my ocs, about my zelda comic, about the totk rewrite project, suggestions, ideas, rants too, kind of anything though im less likely to respond to personal things (and in case theres anyone newer to tumblr, asks dont have to be literal questions, you can write in those what you want, i like them alot bc its a lil message without the chat type of commitment to it ... im even worse at keeping up responding in chats (not intentionally .. my short term memory sucks) o3o)

[reactionimagesdaily]

[kineticallyanywhere]

I know your interests have long since moved on from rvb but I just stumbled across your really old post giving a summary and description of that reincarnation fic idea with locos machine and was wondering if you happened to have any sorta old docs about it you could share? I'm rlly curious!

y'know what? merry christmas!

[enoughofyouau]

This one's a double!

@sonicphobia0601 and @roze-moonie-x21

The au has several things going on (sorry I suck)

But basically Evie is trying to gather evidence of the monsters in the lost city in order to stop her town from being murdered by the curse, and Billie and her friends are trying to learn about their past after reading something in Aristotle's book about the lost city. They eventually get wrapped up in Fantoccio's play because

1. They're worried about him dying alone here

2. He has something to do with Arthur, but they don't know what

3. They feel bad :(

Nobody is allowed to speak of fanto because Evie's kingdom doesn't belive his existence and the entirety of goatshire would never let Billie out again

[technicalknockout]

im legally not allowed on most playgrounds now and i hate that so much. ive played here since before i could write wdym i cant anymore ???

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

Openly curious. What are your personal headcanons about Clay.

This dude. Like phobias, little hobbies he wouldn't admit to things like that.

Hmmmm.

Honestly, I’m having trouble coming up with any for some reason. I’m very sorry for that. I’ll keep returning to this and reblog it with some if I do come up with any.

The one main headcanon I do have regarding Clay, which I do wanna talk about, is less of a small detail headcanon and also not solely about him individually. It’s that I like to think he and Viva, in contrast to broppy, have NO romantic feelings between them and are purely platonic besties. I think that’s more interesting for them. They have some similarities to broppy for sure, but there are differences between Poppy and Viva, and there are differences between Branch and Clay, and I think we should be thinking more about that. It seems incredibly reductive and honestly boring to me for them to basically just be broppy a second time.

[vxmpirehunterd]

{I can’t believe this has to be said but I guess this was a long time coming. But please don’t harass the people I interact with. It’s one thing to harass and spam me cause IDGAF. But please don’t spam and harass those who I rp with. I’m REALLY REALLY trying to enjoy rping on this blog again, and for years I’ve dealt with obsessive anonymous and a few rpers that stalk this blog that seem to seriously desire my attention to themselves.}

[pey-no-attention-to-me]

Jjba and mp 100 for the ask game? (If you don't wanna do both, then choose from whatever one you want to do more!)

OKAY FINALLY IM DOING IT LETS GO

as you know I like the silly’s known as serizawa and okuyasu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

women? Uhhhhhhh hmmm 🤨 for mp100 I’d definitely say tome kurata because ALIENS for jojo I have no idea but I’ve drawn yukako before she’s pretty cool

my least favorite character. STEELY DAN. STEELLY DAN FOR SURE HES JUST SO ARGGGHHHHH for mp 100 I never really hated everybody but Mogami keiji is pretty ARGGG too

I LOVE PRETTY PEOPLE GAHHHHHH Ermes Costello . She’s. She’s just so. HANDSOME!! and ohhhhhhhh pretty people in mp100. Men. Specifically teru I- HES just so. So teru.

UH FUNNY CHARACTERS ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY THING KEEPING MY LIFE TOGETHER RN I LOVE TGEMMM would recomend reigen as a silly and same goes to polnareff like. Have you seen their faces. They are silly.

For mp100 I think the second season but that’s kinda only cause the ova and JOJO PART 4 OBVIOUSLY I LVOE IT L LOVE IT MUCH

whewww remember how I like Okuyasu yeah my favorite jojo episode ever is let’s go get Italian food. No need to explain any further. And UHHHH ONE SECOND I’m back mp100 is a hard choice but I guess season 2 episode 5 ‘Discord~Choices~’ because when I first watched it I SOME HOW SKIPPED THE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODE AND WHEN I REWATCHED IT I WAS SCREAMING LIKE WHAT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN JUH

HAHA IVE BEEN WAITING FOF THIS!! ROMANCE‼️‼️i can say this with all the certainty in my body that MY FAVORITE SHIPS EVER are JOSUYASU AND SERIREI YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I WANT TO RUN THEM OVER I WANT OT PLAY WOTH THEM LIKE DOLLS AND MAKE THEM KISS AND I WANT TO PIT THEM IM THE OVEN FOR THEIR LAST MOMENTS I WANT TO EXPLODE THEM BU WRAPPING THEM IN TINFOIL AND PUT THEM IN A Solwave Stainless-Steel Commercial Microwave AND I WILL THROW THEM IN A HOLE FULL OF TIGERS AND BEARS AND 10 DIFFERENT THINGS AND

family ship??? huh?? uh I guess shou and his father(president suzuki??(idk his name 😭)) cause they end up like.. working together it’s cool ig and LOVE JOSEPH AND GRANNY ERINAS CONCEPT I know they didn’t get much screen time together but I LOVE THEM

My favorite friend ships uhmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhHAHAHHHA WAITWAIT JOSEPH AND SPEEDWAGON because like… the kid saves him right and speedwagon just what is happening what NO JOSEPH DONT POKE HIS NOSE and I rlly like shou and ritsu’s friend ship(even tho I romantically ship them too) because loud extrovert with no friends + constantly annoyed introvert that also has no friends is the best concept ever

JONATHAN X DIO I DONT EVEN WANT TO SAY THE SHIP NAME ITS SO BAD AND DIO IS NOT HIS JOBRO ITS SPEEDWAGON AND YOU CSNT SAY ORHERWISE AND MOB X REIGEN?!! NOOO?? IDC IF THEIR AGED UP REIGEN MET MOB WHEN HE WAS LIKE NEGATIVE YRS OLD PLEASE STOP

like you said before, jotakak is pretty overrated LIKE KAKYOIN ISNT A BIRD AND HE DOES NOT LAY EGGS for mp100 I wouldn’t say there’s a over hyped ship but I guess serirei but.. I love them.. so they’re fine.. right..

Underhyped is definitely koichi and yukako like they’re cute okay they’re happy and then shou and ritsu because.. lost of ppl like them but nobody draws them or writes about them(or I’m just bad at finding stuff 😭)

unpopular opinion? I don’t like part 5. Like I literally like part 1 better. There’s no specific reason all the characters are cool(i love fugo) but it just feel so rushed and you never get to learn anything about the characters ig and mp100- uh I don’t know 😭 let me think OH!!! Onigawara is the most amazing best character he needed more screen time and why did he have to leave to high school whywhyeheyehywhy I miss him(sobs)

[dirt-nerd]

Hate to add to an already long and brilliant post, but a lot of these examples are about language and I also want to point out how Americanisation severely affects politics too, including in other English speaking countries.

For example in New Zealand we receive little formal education about our own political system but are bombarded daily with information about US politics. As a result many Kiwis vote in elections as if we were Americans, which is bad because our democracy works completely differently from the states.

Beyond elections, political discourse on both sides of the political spectrum is heavily impacted by Americanisation. The amount of times I have seen people (including myself) uncritically repeat some American turn of phrase with zero thought on how that applies their country is absolutely maddening. This is not helped by the deliberate meddling of American interests either; for example after the Christchurch mosque attacks (committed by an Australian who was partially inspired by Donald Trump), the New Zealand government banned automatic weapons and Americans (likely backed by the NRA) began bombarding NZ online spaces with heavy anti gun control rhetoric. This led to the hilarious yet worrying situation of far right Kiwis yelling about their "second amendment rights".

DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA TURN YOU INTO AN AMERICAN

[squishiyangire]

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

I am so normal

[bluebeary-jay]

Damage done

Pre/No-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: during a fight with Joel, he unknowingly sends you into a panic attack caused by your previous experiences. he deeply regrets it. (based on this wonderful ask!)

Tags: heavy ANGST, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending (there's also fluff), established relationship, petnames, soft!Joel (he's trying his best fr 🥺). Several years pre outbreak. please read the warnings carefully

Warnings: fighting, talk and mention about previous abusive relationship, panic attack, emotional distress, self-destructive thoughts

Word count: 4K

A/N: i wrote it partially based on experiences with my own panic attacks, but i know everyone's is different. if there's a warning i missed, please let me know. also i want this man to take care of me so much 😢 anyway, stay safe, darlings, and as always: happy reading and i hope you'll enjoy!! 💕 comments and feedback are greatly appreciated 😌

It had been a rough couple of weeks. Things at your work were rocky to say the least, what with your boss firing several people every week and cutting your salary. Joel didn’t have it much better – from what you understood, two clients suddenly canceled their order, and Tommy got himself thrown into jail, again, breaking his longest record to date. On top of that, little Sarah went down with some kind of flu that was raging in schools recently, and for the last two weeks one of you had to be home with her almost all the time.

So it was probably no wonder that the tension and stress became too much at one point, and you both snapped.

It was about the play at Sarah’s school.

“You promised her, Joel! She was talking about it for the entire week.”

“It’s not my fault we have to go out of town on this date,” he answered through clenched teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose and not looking up at you. “I tried to reschedule, but the commissioning party refused. I can’t help it, for fuck’s sake.”

You were glad Sarah wasn’t home right now to listen to your fight. You dropped her off earlier at her friend’s house because she wanted to practice lines for the play they were doing next week. The play that Joel was apparently planning to miss.

You adored Joel – god, you loved him with all that you had – but he could be so stubborn sometimes, it was driving you up the fricking wall.

“It’s your kid, Joel–”

“Yeah, it’s my kid!” he raised his voice, only now lifting his head. His stare was cold and hard, so unlike how he usually looked at you. “Not yours.”

“Are you kidding me?!” you shouted, hurt by his words and the tone he used. “I’ve been taking care of her, loving her– She is like a daughter to me!”

“But still not yours,” he repeated harshly. That was a low blow, especially when he told you so many times that you might not be Sarah’s biological mother, but it’s obvious you love her like she’s your own blood.

“You’re only saying that ‘cause you know I’m right,” you snarled angrily, and Joel huffed a humorless laugh.

“Of course. You always know better, dont’cha?” He stood up, towering over you, but you didn’t back down. If anything, it only made you more mad, as if he was doing this to intimidate you. “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible father in your eyes, but I have to think about earning money. Especially since it’s only a matter of time ‘till that asshole boss of yours will fire you, too.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?! You really think so lowly of me to say it won’t be long until I get fired?”

“I don’t– Christ, you’re puttin’ words in my mouth again.”

“Again. Of course.” You spat out and took your sweatshirt from the couch, done with him and this conversation. “I’m going to my home,” you told him dryly. Joel’s nostrils flared and he took a step forward.

“No, you’re not.”

“Fuckin’ watch me,” you muttered under your breath, but loud enough for him to hear.

“We are not finished!!” Joel screamed, his booming voice echoing throughout the house.

It felt like a slap. In one second you froze, all your muscles seized up and a feeling of coldness gripped your heart and throat, sending panic flooding your veins. The sweatshirt you were holding slipped out from your stiff fingers.

Joel has never raised his voice at you like that. Never with such anger and fury. There was a bite to his tone that you couldn’t explain, but which you knew very well – the telltale sign that you went too far, and the other person’s patience was at an end, that now you were going to pay for it.

Your previous boyfriend taught you what it means. It meant bruises and split lips, and screaming when you started crying…

Joel noticed the shift in your behavior right away, and his anger immediately ebbed, replaced by confusion and concern.

“Darlin’?” he murmured the pet name, though it rolled off his tongue heavily and with difficulty.

He was still furious at you and your refusal to understand what he was going through, but it all died down when he saw how wide, how empty your eyes were. Your knees buckled, and you looked like you could fall down at any moment.

Joel didn’t have any idea what was happening with you – but knew that whatever it was, it was his fault.

You, in the meantime, felt like you couldn’t breathe. The man in front of you – you weren’t even sure anymore who that was – took a step forward with his hand lifted, and you quickly backed away, stumbling in the process.

“No! N-no, no, please, I’m sorry–” you started blabbering and sobbing, wrapping one arm around your middle to protect all the main internal organs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“No, you didn’t…”

“Please… I’m sorry, I swear,” you cried, trembling at this point, but not daring to escape the room. “I’ll be better, just don’t… Please, don’t…”

Joel’s heart broke when he saw you bursting into tears and trying to make yourself as small as possible. All his anger disappeared in a cloud of smoke, replaced by the overpowering need to comfort the girl he loved.

But you seemed so scared when he wanted to come closer… And he didn’t know how to proceed.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he repeated in an even softer tone, his eyebrows scrunching in worry. “Sweetheart… M’not gonna hurt you.”

He took another slow step forward, but that seemed to already be too much, because the trembling intensified and you practically slumped against the wall, one arm around your stomach, and the other squeezing your throat tightly. Joel feared to know the reason why you would do that to yourself.

“Stop, plea– I can’t– I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay, my baby, it’s alright…”

He fell down to his knees next to you and reached to take you in his arms, but you started shaking your head violently, backing away and squirming out of his reach.

“No, no, please, I’m sorry! Don’t– don’t touch me!!”

A bile rose up in his throat, and he retreated his hands, holding them low in front of him to show he’s not going to do anything.

“It’s alright, babygirl,” he muttered chokingly, feeling completely helpless and lost about what to do. “You… you’re safe.”

You were crying uncontrollably now, though it seemed like you tried to stifle the never-ending sobs and tears flowing out of your eyes, in result making your entire body shake. You flinched – actually flinched – when Joel opened his mouth, and your fingers around your throat tightened their grip.

“No,” Joel said decisively, breaking your wish and grabbing your wrists, moving them away from your neck where red crescents started to form. “Baby, please, don’t.”

“Let go!!” It was hard to distinguish the words from between your cries, but the message your body language was conveying was clear as day. “No, don’t… me…” You sobbed again, quickly weakening despite your efforts. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Come ‘ere,” Joel whispered in a voice full of pain, carefully shifting closer and wrapping his arms around you, though being careful not to make you feel too crowded or trapped. “Shhh… it’s Joel, darlin’, m’here.”

Surprisingly, you let him hold you – maybe it was just because you didn’t have strength to resist and fight back anymore, Joel thought, but maybe you recognized him. Maybe it was both. But the tears didn’t stop. No matter how gently he stroked your back or whispered reassuring words, you couldn’t seem to stop crying.

Several times in the next couple of minutes you tried to grasp your neck or arm again, but every time he delicately, though firmly, moved them away. You still babbled half-intelligible apologies and pleas, and each time your voice broke or hitched on another fearful word, Joel’s heart was shattering into a million pieces all over again.

“I’m sorry…” you sobbed again, trembling in his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t hurt me, p-please–...”

“My darlin’...” Joel held you closer and more securely in his arms, rocking you back and forth. “Sweetheart, my sweet, sweet girl… I’m never gonna hurt you, I swear.” He planted soft, delicate kisses on your hair. Even though he wanted to hug you tightly, to show you how much he loves and cares about you, he restrained himself and tried to keep his touch as gentle as possible. “I swear, my babygirl, m’sorry, so sorry for screamin’... Didn’t mean to.”

You were still crying, albeit weaker now, in his arms, clinging to him like your life depended on it. Joel could feel your nails digging themselves into the skin of his back, but it was the furthest thing on his mind – hell, he could start bleeding and still it wouldn’t be as important as comforting you at this moment. Better him than you.

“I love you s’much, my babygirl, my life,” Joel continued murmuring into the top of your head, feeling close to crying himself when your tears seemingly couldn’t stop flowing. “M’so sorry. I won’t ever hurt you like that again, I swear…”

His words, though full of love and compassion, rolled off you like water off a duck’s back, and you still couldn’t locate yourself, couldn’t tether your being to this world and make sense of the difference between what you knew should happen, and what was actually happening.

Your whole body was hurting, yes, but it wasn’t the pain of being repeatedly hit. You could barely hear your own cries, but it wasn’t because of vicious and cruel words being thrown at you. You knew it was Joel you were clinging to, and he never hurt you in this way, but… but you also were never so angry at each other. You never fought like this – and experience taught you that crossing that invisible line will carry certain consequences.

You weren’t angry now. You were scared. And confused.

“Joel,” you whimpered between gasps, struggling to breathe through your rapid sobs. “I’m sorry. Please, don’t– don’t go.”

“M’not leavin’ ya, babygirl.” He spoke into your hair, closing his eyes. “M’not goin’ anywhere.”

You were calming down a little now, the sobs wrecking your body and breaking Joel’s heart dying down, though you were still shivering. Joel continued to hold and soothe you the best he could.

And wondered who must’ve hurt his darling so much that you’d react so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered after a while, sniffling into Joel’s chest, but trying not to get snots on his shirt. Joel sighed sadly, but his hold on you just tightened.

“No, babygirl, my darlin’...” He pressed his lips to your hairline, stroking your back with his other hand. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, I swear. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whimpered pitifully, unable to stop another wave of tears from falling. “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I know… Joel, I know you won’t hurt me. Baby, please.” You took his head in your hands, searching his eyes with fear painted across your face. “I’m so sorry, wasn’t thinking and…”

“Hey. Love, it’s fine.” He placed his own hands on your cheeks, stroking lightly your damp skin with his thumbs. “Don’t say that. M’not angry at you and would never be because of that. It’s… it’s okay.” He petted your hair, trying to relax for your sake, but his chest remained tight. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

You nodded weakly, though you weren’t sure if you believed him. Joel swallowed heavily and nodded after a while, too.

“Okay. I… I’ll run you a bath,” he whispered, but you held his hand tighter and shook your head with tears gathering in your eyes again.

“No, no! Just s-stay with me, please.”

Joel took your face in his hands, but you closed your eyes, feeling too vulnerable and exhausted to even try to maintain eye contact.

“I’m here, baby. C’mon, just hold onto me.”

He waited until your arms were around his neck before slowly standing up and tucking you securely in his arms. You hid your wet face in the crook of Joel’s neck, breathing in his soothing smell and trying to calm your breathing, which you still found difficult.

Neither of you said anything when he took you to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet seat and started to fill the bathtub with water and soothing oils. You just watched him, wiping your nose every once in a while.

Still remaining silent, Joel extended his hand and helped you stand up. Then, almost with fearful hesitation, he touched the hem of your shirt, sending you a questioning look. You just nodded, not having strength to undress yourself, and lifted your arms, letting him take your clothes off.

You didn’t let go of his hand even after he guided you to sit in the tub. You couldn’t bear being alone with your thoughts right now, and Joel, being as wonderful of a man as he was, stayed by your side as the warmth from the water seeped through your tired bones.

Another several minutes passed before he finally asked the question that was gnawing at him since the very beginning. You must’ve subconsciously known it was coming, cause it didn’t even surprise you.

“Who was it?” he asked quietly. His hand was still caressing your palm with the gentlest of touches, but his eyes were like ice, full of hidden rage and hatred. “Who did this to you, darlin’?”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, not sure whether to answer or not. Ever since you got to know him, Joel has been nothing but kind and understanding, never pressuring you into doing or saying something you didn’t want… but you had a feeling he wasn’t going to let the matter drop.

And honestly, you were afraid to tell him. To admit how your previous relationship looked and what exactly happened to make you act so strongly about something so small. Because… what if he’ll realize how broken you are, how much effort it’d take to put up with you, and he’ll leave? Even if he was willing to take care of you, it was really unlikely that he’d stay – even if he says that now.

You were doing good until today. You managed to hide the issues you had with yourself and all the pain you carried inside, never letting Joel know that something was wrong with you. But now he… he will…

You didn’t want him to leave. He made your life so much better and you loved him to pieces with all your heart, as weak and broken as it was.

You couldn’t lose him.

“Oh, baby…” Joel’s hands cupped your cheeks so carefully and lovingly that you almost started weeping again. “M’not goin’ anywhere. I love ya so much. You’re never gonna lose me.”

You didn’t realize you said those words out loud, but even so, somehow his affirmations didn’t make you feel any better. You wanted them to comfort you, but if anything, they just made you feel sick.

“I’m afraid you’re gonna leave someday,” you whispered hoarsely, keeping your eyes on the slowly disappearing bubbles. “I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t want you to. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Joel. I…” Tears spilled from your eyes again and you shook your head. “I know I’m too much. And… and broken. And I know it sounds like I wanna guilt-trip you, but I’m not, I’m just–” You choked on a sob, and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. “I don’t– don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Sweetheart, look at me, please.” Joel’s hands were rough to the touch, but so incredibly gentle when they guided you to meet his eyes, and a big pit formed in your stomach when you saw how they shone. He was on the verge of tears, too. “Don’t say things like that. Nothin’ is wrong with you. Who…” He sighed again. “Who made you believe such things?”

You didn’t answer at first, but Joel kept staring at you, and – finally – you relented.

“My previous boyfriend. The one I didn’t want to talk about. He– Look, I know he was a horrible person.” You let out a short laugh, but without any joy – or emotions altogether – in it. “And I hate him so much, but he… he was right. About some things.”

“He’s not.” Joel didn’t back down, feeling despair growing inside his chest as he saw the girl he adored with his whole heart put herself down like that. “You’re… fuck, you’re perfect, darlin’, and you didn’t deserve to be treated or talked to this way. M’so sorry it happened to you.”

He brushed some of your hair to the back and sighed silently. He seemed so lost and sad, it made you feel even worse.

“What can I do?”

That stopped the train of your thoughts, and you looked up.

“What?”

“What can I do?” he repeated softly. “To prove t’you that I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Your lips parted, and you were unsure what to say. Joel took your hand in his, delicately tracing patterns on the back of it.

“Babygirl, listen to me. You’re the most precious thing t’me. I don’t care what this asshole told you, but… but none of this is true. And it’s not gonna drive me away from you. Nothin’ is gonna make me leave,” he repeated more firmly, never taking his eyes off you. “Because I love you. More than anythin’ else in the world”

Joel sounded so sincere and desperate, tugging at your heartstrings with his gentle, sad eyes and loving words. The water became cool some time ago, but your insides felt like they were on fire – as if the next breath you were about to take would be your last.

“I’m sorry for everything I said.” You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice steady. “I don’t think you’re a bad father. I think you’re the best and most amazing dad Sarah could ever ask for. I didn’t want…” You sniffed and your shoulders started to shake again with silent cries. “I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m so sorry, I didn’t–”

The sob that you tried to stop with all your might suddenly escaped you, and Joel’s forehead scrunched in worry. He pulled you closer, leaning over the edge of the bathtub. Neither of you concerned yourself with water dripping off your skin, only feeling relieved from each other’s closeness.

“I know, babygirl. M’not mad.” Joel left a lingering kiss on your tearstained cheek, and then a second one on your forehead. “I’m sorry, too. For how I acted and for–” he sighed heavily into your shoulder, “for shouting at ya.”

“You couldn’t have known,” you mumbled, but he shook his head.

“That’s no excuse. I shouldn’t ‘ave done it in the first place.” He relaxed in your arms, and somehow it made your muscles less tense, too. “I’ll see what I can do about that job. So that I can see Sarah’s play.”

You nodded and let your eyelids drop, giving in to the feeling of calm and security that always came with being with Joel.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” you asked quietly. You still were a little afraid that he’s going to turn you down after what happened, but you really didn’t want to stay alone. “With you?”

“‘Course you can. D’ya want to go now?”

You nodded again. Not bathing seemed like a big waste of water, but you didn’t feel strong enough to actually wash your body. And Joel didn’t pressure you – he just bent over and wrapped his strong arms around you, practically pulling you out of the tub by himself.

His clothes were completely soaked when he put you down and reached for the fluffiest towel you had, wrapping it around you like a little cocoon. He got rid of his wet shirt, kissed your head gently and, without a word, scooped you up into his arms again.

“I can stand,” you offered when he started walking towards the bedroom, forcing you to wrap your hands around his neck for support.

“I want to take care of you.”

“But your back pains…”

“I’m not that old yet, sweetheart,” he answered with a half-smile, slowing down and gazing into your eyes softly. “Let me take care of you.”

You brushed his cheek with your fingertips tenderly, eyes flickering across his face. “But you’re always taking care of everyone, Joel.”

His throat bobbed and he almost immediately looked away. It was clear what he was thinking – that according to himself, he wasn’t doing a good enough job. Because you got hurt. Because he was the one who unintentionally hurt you and sent you into a panic attack.

He was silent when he put you down on the bed with care, turning around to fetch one of his shirts from the closet. During this whole time you didn’t say anything, either. Your mind was still a little closed off from when you tried to separate yourself from the painful memories that started to haunt you, and despite Joel’s efforts, it was still difficult to move past the experience.

But your head snapped up when Joel, after helping you put the shirt on, knelt in front of you, took your hand in his and leaned forward to kiss your knee gently.

“M’sorry,” Joel whispered with pain tinging his deep voice. “I’m sorry for sayin’ all those things about you and Sarah. I know you love her.” He pressed his lips to your knee again, and lifted his head, revealing how misty his own eyes were, which in turn made your heart ache even more. “My sweet girl. I swear I won’t ever hurt you again.”

“You didn’t hurt me,” you answered quietly, but Joel shook his head and took a deep breath.

“What can I do?” he repeated his question from earlier, and this time you knew exactly what you needed him for.

“Can you… can you hold me?”

Without missing a beat, Joel raised from his position and enveloped you in his embrace, making you feel safe and protected like never before. You sighed heavily, breathing in his scent and feeling like just by touching you with such love that only he was capable of, he helped you to lift some invisible load from your shoulders.

Despite the headache from all the crying and your chest still tightening with every shallow breath you took, you felt a little better now. You didn’t feel alone.

You knew you were safe with Joel.

It took some time for you to fall asleep, but even when you did, Joel could not find peace in the silky darkness of the evening.

Before you dozed off, Joel vowed again and again how much you mean to him, how you and Sarah are the best things that ever happened to him, and how he’ll never let anything happen to any of you – and he could clearly see that you believed his every word, and that you weren’t mad at him. You weren’t flinching when he rocked you back and forth, or later when he pressed small kisses to your forehead.

But you still were quiet and your face miserable, and several times Joel tucked you in closer to himself when he felt you shaking and sniffing. There wasn’t anything else he could do but hold you and whisper soothing promises into your hair. Once your eyelids started to drop, he began humming a familiar melody he knew you liked, and you nuzzled your face into his neck, curling up in his embrace.

And you whispered ‘I love you’ before you drifted off to an uneasy sleep in his arms. And before he could even answer, you thanked him for loving you.

When he heard it, he had to keep himself from breaking down with the last bit of his strength.

“You mean everythin’ to me, love. Everythin’,” he murmured after a couple of seconds, not even knowing if you were still awake. The guilt in his chest made it hard to breathe, but he pushed through it, and then he softly kissed your forehead, making a promise to himself.

He will find time to go to Sarah’s play with you. And he’ll make it right.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

[ID: a digital full body drawing of Reigen and Serizawa from Mob Psycho 100. Reigen is drawn transformed with the fox miraculous from Miraculous Ladybug. Serizawa is drawn transformed with the turtle miraculous from Miraculous Ladybug. Reigen is on the left. is fox outfit is mostly orange. he has fox ears on the top of his head. they are mostly orange but the middle is white and the top is black. he has an orange mask over his eyes. the neck and shoulders are black and the chest is white. his is wearing black gloves that go to his wrist. there is a bit of white in a diamond-ish shape after the gloves. the sleeves are orange. he is wearing black boots that go up to his thighs and end in a point. the rest of his bodysuit is orange. he is wearing the fox miraculous necklace. he has a cape that is in place of a tail. it has a triangular end. it is orange except for the pointed end which is white and then has a small black outline above it. his eyes are closed and his cheeks are puffed as he blows into a long, orange and white flute. there is yellow light coming out the other end of the flute as if something were about to be created. his right foot is crossed over his left, almost as if he were posing. the text near the left side of his head reads: "intense flute".

Serizawa is on the right. he is holding his miraculous shield over his head. shell-ter has started to appear above him. he is wearing a light green mask that is tied in the back. his outfit is all green and is very similar to Carapace's outfit. the parts that are lighter green almost look like padding. like knee pads and a chest pad. the gloves are a darker green. his boots are a darker green. he has a small, thin belt that is black. Serizawa is looking up at his shield. he appears concerned or worried. his mouth is partially open. there is text to the right of his head that reads: "Shield! :3". the artist's signature, "jascurka" is between them. /End ID.]

Do I miss miraculous? a bit yes. So here's Reigen and Serizawa with the fox and turtle yeahhh *falls over* Now, how do I tag this to annoy as many people as possible

[woofs-silly-ships]

Oh. Oh holy hell

HEAVY WARNING FOR THE HAZBIN LEAKS. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BE MAD AT ME IF YOU WILLINGLY CLICK ON THIS AND GET SPOILED.

Tw: Mentions of Poison/Angel Dust’s abuse, Aphobia (from Viv and Hazbin, not me. Frick Aphobes or any kind of queerphobe /srs)

This is almost certainly real and that makes me

I think I feel worse than when the Poison leaks happened

And that was bad

Yet I think this might be worse… because at least some survivors do relate to and find comfort in Poison and Angel as a whole. At least people knew he was suffering from and dealing with this abuse. This… people couldn’t have seen this coming.

Alastor and Rosie’s relationship was one of the few actually well written ones in this freaking show. And they just screwed it the hell up

Alastor being owned by/selling his soul to Lilith made so much sense. Of course Lilith would care about his child’s dream, of course she would hide him away in heaven after a (likely) bad fight with Vox, of course if he was in heaven nobody could find him, of course he’d be so fearful of the literal Queen of hell.

If Alastor is owned by Rosie, why the hell would he actually be genuinely comfortable around her as shown in season one? Rosie wouldn’t give a shit about the hotel as well, I’m sorry but like huh??? She has 0 relation to the founders or guests besides Al??? Also there’s no freaking way that Rosie would be able to hide Alastor IN HELL FOR 7 FREAKING YEARS AND AVOID ALL DETECTION. If Vox’s cameras didn’t catch him in a HEAVILY POPULATED TOWN, there’s literally no way some random diner didn’t catch a glimpse of him or something??? And Al is probably on the level below Rosie power wise, there’s no way he wouldn’t have rebelled at some point, even if he lost???

But yeah, I’m beating around the bush here. Elephant in the room time.

The whole song and animation and everything leans WAYYYY too into the aspect of Alastor being Rosie’s pet, and that creeps me out so much. Because it again feels fetishized. Way too reminiscent of pet play and such, which I already don’t like on its own but I’m not getting into that. I wouldn’t even have an issue with it if

1. Rosie was portrayed as an actual big bad and not “secretly silly”, same issue as Val

2. ALASTOR WASNT FREAKING ASEXUAL. AND ROSIE WAS LITERALLY THE ONE TO CONFIRM THAT IN CANON (the “ace in the hole” scene was one of my favorites and now it’s ruined for me. Of course.)

I know k!nky asexuals exist and are completely valid and yall are awesome, and I’d be fine seeing that represented if, you know, ALASTOR WASNT SHOWN TO BE FREAKING SEX REPULSED?? HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE FREAKING

^^^ THIS???

AND GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID BEFORE: AT LEAST SURVIVORS WHO RELATE TO ANGEL KNEW THAT HE WAS A VICTIM LONG BEFORE THE RELEASE OF POISON AND S1. MANY FELT BETRAYED BY IT AND THATS VERY VERY VALID, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN FAR WORSE (as in, Addict could’ve never existed, Angel fans including survivors could’ve had no idea of what he was going through before being thrown into the mess that is Poison). THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO FORESHADOWING OF THIS WITH ALASTOR. IVE SEEN SO MANY ASEXUALS LOVE AND RELATE TO AL AND TAKE WHAT LITTLE REPRESENTATION THEY GET IN STRIDE, AND IM SO SCARED TO SEE THEM DEAL WITH THE FETISHIZATION OF THEIR SEXUALITY. THAT WILL HURT ME MORE THAN WHATEVER THE PLOT DOES. IF YOU ARE ASEXUAL AND RELATE TO AL THEN I AM SO FREAKING SORRY FOR YOU, ESPECIALLY IF THIS ENDS UP HURTING YOU AS MUCH AS IT DOES ME /GEN

ALSO, APPARENTLY VIV IS DOUBLJNG DOWN FROM POISON BECAUSE THERE’S SOME CHEERY UPBEAT AH MUSIC BEING SUNG ABOUT ALASTOR BASICALLY BEING CHAINED AND ABUSED FOR THE MAJORITY OF HIS AFTERLIFE AND ALSO BASICALLY BEING SHOVED INTO A PET-PLAY KINK LIKE THING AS AN UNWILLING AND UNCOMFORTABLE (AND ASEXUAL) PARTICIPANT

Urghhh, I’m sorry I just really needed to get that out. Posting this on my selfship blog since it’s more contained and I have 2 Hazbin f/os anyway

Since I’m here anyway, yeah my Hellaverse AU won’t have any of this crap. Alastor will be owned by either Lilith or Roo, whichever one makes more sense when S2 comes out and we see more of Lilith and see if Roo was scrapped or not. Right now he’s owned by Lilith in the AU and his relationship with Rosie is exactly like in S1: genuine and comfortable. I’m sorry but I’m not letting Vic’s awful plot direction here ruin one of the few good relationships in the show.

And I’m sorry if any of this is exaggerated by accident, I’m just, er, very passionate about minorities being disrespected this badly and this is kinda just me dumping my thoughts and rage into writing /gen

On a small but light note, the other clip is actually really cool!! Makes sense for Heaven to have Goitia as well as Hell, and as long as this bird doesn’t turn out Stolas then I’m pretty happy with this :D

[tracklessreason]

Hi. It's me again.

WHERE THE FRICK IS BUMBLEBEE?! Sorry, let me calm down and retry.

Thank you for answering my last ask, I can't help but notice how no one knows where Bee's ghost is. And Megatron is the one looking into the Matrix... Is he haunting Megatron? Trying to stop him from doing it? Helping him?

Is Optimus's ghost following Ratchet around like a sad puppy?

Also just the pairings- Jazz with Megatronus? THat sounds... like fun.

Do the primes miss the other Primes and ask their host if they can check on the other bots that got shrapeneled? Maybe one of them asks if they can find a way to talk with the others... or maybe they can talk trough the hosts... maybe... (ah ah possessed arc)

(PS I really vibe with Hive's whole deal, he is very cool :D and I'm devastated that I'm the one that discovered how he explodes)

Hug hug!

Hi again!!! Don't worry, Bee is still here!

His spirit is just...struggling. He's weak at first, flickering like a dying light bulb. He hasn't left the fractured core of the Matrix still in his corpse, but his soul signature is so weak no one can find him. He's just sort of trapped there for a while, in the burnt out room he died in. Until Megatron of course.

Megatron breaks into the autobot base, walks past every sleeping mech he could easily have snuffed, and steals the Matrix core, and by unintentional extension, steals Bumblebee. Now at first, Bee is rightfully upset. He hates being at the gloomy decepticon base, he hates Megatron for taking his voice, he's just mad. Time passes as Megatron tinkers with the core, and Bee regains strength enough to....throw things???

It shouldn't be possible. Somehow this unstable remnant of the Matrix doesn't contain him, but merely houses him, and as he grows stronger, he can appear as an apparition to Megatron. He uses it almost solely to hinder him. With no voice (even ghost Bee gets no respite) all he can really do is mess up Megatron's workspace and insult him through pantomime. Really he doesn't understand why Megatron puts up with it, but aside from the occasional fit of rage at his antics, the decepticon leader ignores him as much as possible and puts his all into trying to restore the Matrix.

Before long he starts having one sided conversations with Bumblebee. Its mostly complaints at first, and insults towards him and the autobots and whatever else goes wrong in his life outside of this little workshop Bee cant leave. It soon gives way to more private matters; intentionally or not, Megatron is revealing his very convoluted, very mixed feelings about Optimus Prime.

The war has gone on too long, why couldn't that idiot just see things from his perspective, he deserved to die, he will be brought back, how could his oldest friend just leave him like this...

To Bee it sounds...exactly like how Optimus felt about Megatron, just drowned in molten anger issues. Against his self preservation instinct, Bee decides to work towards putting this whole mess to bed. Nothing better to do.

With what limited knowledge and communication he has, he does his best to try and help Megatron fix the Matrix. They have spats still, and plenty of set backs, but things smooth over when Megatron (begrudgingly) admits to feelings of regret over taking Bee's voice. As an olive branch, Bee explains something to Megatron that he's been dying to know: how Optimus died.

Things sour fast. Megatron is determined to murder Starscream, Bee is frustratedly trying to explain that if he does so, this little partnership of convenience is over, and he will ensure that the Matrix is never restored. The end of the war relies almost solely on Megatron reeling in his damn anger, and Bee doesnt intend to allow any slip ups. He has no idea how this will end when Megatron leaves the workshop that night.

On the other side of things, the Primes are having a real...weird time?? The ones without hosts can communicate with each other, but the other four are basically cut off from all but their hosts. They don't have the ability to take control anymore, and even if they did, their hosts are nowhere near as easy to possess, nor as willing, as Hive Prime was. Ratchet especially has threatened to tear the Matrix metal from his frame and grind it to dust if Prima so much as thinks about trying it. The other three hosts are similarly put off.

Once again the Primes are relegated to giving advice, but it's not advice anyone seems to want, and yeah, it's mostly because of the wild pairings. Megatronus is constantly clutching his pearls over Jazz's laid-back attitude and deliberate ignorance of his wishes. Prima's calm rationality does little to temper Ratchet's snappy demeanor and only really gets on his nerves (how can you be so calm after what you all did?). Ironhide straight up refuses to acknowledge Quintus. Drift is probably the only one feeling alright with all this. Alpha Trion is generally reasonable, and isn't interested in having control over Drift's form, nor was he interested in it with Hive, so they just vibe like college roommates.

It's uncomfortable, but the Primes are used to sharing space. The worst part is actually sharing it with fewer mechs than usual. The Primes all miss each other to varying degrees, but for the most part are either too egotistical to admit it, or think it improper to mention.

Of course, grand prize for worst ghost time currently goes to Optimus. Dying, watching Bee suffer, feeling his friend's life force extinguish...

He might as well be a husk right now, full on silent treatment is all he's capable of at the moment. The other Primes know better than to try and speak with him. This is their doing to begin with, the channeling of their energy that strained Bee so heavily. Optimus follows the elected council around during the days, but at night he sits outside the room where Hive's body rests. He was there the night that Megatron broke in.

It takes immense effort to travel far enough out from the base to go see Megatron, and he needs several cycles to recover after every attempt, but he keeps doing it, knowing he could fade away permanently. When he gets there, he's too weak for Bee or Megatron to detect him. But he can hear their talks. He misses them both more than words can say.

(Sorry the response is so long, lol. This ask really got the gears turning in my head. I hope at least that makes up for being the one to find out that Ending 3 Hive dies bloody. I'm really flattered to hear you like him! For me that's quite high praise coming from you. Hug hug!)

[totallyanfel]

❝𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙋𝘼𝙔 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙏𝙊 𝙈𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝙔𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀❞ 〰 BOKUTO

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ hq x fem!reader. ft: bokuto koutarou

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗you jokingly say that he never pays attention to you anymore, now he's worried!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ warnings: none except for tiniest bit of angst! but lots of fluff

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ 935 words, avg read time: 3 mins

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ a/n: this is my first time writing, and i never write for pleasure, or stories like these! so it might be really bad lol- but always give me constructive critisism about anything and dms/requests are always opened!! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

────୨ৎ────

"bokuuuu~" you say, leaving the bedroom door to find your boyfriend sprawled on the couch, looking up and smiling at you before holding up his finger to signal for you to wait, the phone pressed against his ear with one of his streaked hands.

"movie night?" you silently worded with your lips, gesturing over to your bedroom before he gave a dismissive nod and thumbs up, focusing back onto the phone call. 

with a heavy sigh, you left to the kitchen, preparing what you two would always eat for the nights you'd lay on your shared bed, cuddled up next to each other while watching a move. that caramel popcorn that head playfully fed you, throwing it into the air as you two giggled at the missed shots and cheered together at the ones that made it. 

bokuto would always love nights like these and always preferred them, inside with you, over going out. he didn't have to share you while conversing with other people if it was some get-together or forced not to touch you everywhere you went.

Inside, you could cuddle, talk between just the two of you, scratch your hair, anything.

-

"this is so fricking delish," you said, stuffing your face with more popcorn as the bright tv screen hit your face, your hair tangling as the back of your head lay on his chest, sitting up on the bed. his arms envelopped you soothingly, meeting at your shoulders while you comfortably relaxed on his much bigger frame.

"hey, leave some for me-" a raspier whine escaped bokuto's lips, moving the thick arm that wrapped around you to reach for the bowl on your hips, before you felt his nose reach the top of your head and snuggle against it. he inhaled through his nose, letting the pleasant smell of your shampoo seep in as he couldn't help but let the tug on the end of his lips raise.

"nuh, uh! i made these all by myself while you were too busy on your pho-!" and almost as if on cue, his phone went off. both heads turned at the same time to the brightening screen, revealing a cute picture of him feeding you while watching your favorite show together, almost in the same scenario as of right now. underneath it was a message from someone that you honestly couldn't care less about, and he picked it up quickly.

"sorry, love, this might be important.." he subtly added, his once brighter expression muted as he brought the device closer to him. you let out a dishearted sigh, maybe exaggerating it a little too much to add on to your sarcastic comment. "it's like you never pay attention to me anymore.."

even the low mumble of your voice led him to shoot up, instantly tightening his grip around you, as if instinctual, and his voice was barely over a whisper. "what?" he moved his head around to try to meet your eyes, now basically "ear to ear" with him.

seeing the defeated look on his face, you realized he didn't see through your sarcastic comment, and trying to put your best poker face on, you tried to drag on the joke. it wouldn't harm anyone, just trying to see how long he'd last.

"yeah, you know, you're always so busy and all. just like right now, you know... your phone and all... you just never pay attention to me anymore." you lowered your head, some stray hairs falling down in trial to cover your face from the smile you were fighting, biting down on your lip.

if anything, bokuto pays way too much attention to you. you believed he'd just realize this was a joke; he was a clingy boy after all. whenever you'd leave, he'd insist on a hug, even in a rush. it would then lead to a kiss, and you perhaps being 15 minutes late with a few disheveled hairs. clingy bokuto was probably your favorite thing ever though. always wanting to be near you and never leaving your side for anything. so it'd be easy enough for him to see through your tiny prank.

"babe, are you serious? i-.."  bokuto lowered his head, his hair slightly drooping at the ends, and when you looked up, a small glint of sadness in his eyes shined through. fuck, he's actually serious.

"wait, listen, boku-" you tried to stop the joke right there, fully lifting your face before his hands met your waist, grasping you harshly as he flipped you with a hold so tight, as if you'd weighed nothing. when switching over to fully face him, he looked up at you, your legs wrapped around him, straddling his big "man" frame as he gave you a "little boy" pout.

"i-i'm so sorry, y/n... seriously. i never thought i'd be distant from you and all." bokuto's gaze never left yours.

a small pang hit your chest hard. "no, wait, boku-" you finally bring yourself closer to him, leaning closer to his face. "listen, i was just joking, mkay? you're perfectly fine; you pay enough attention to me!" you added, caressing his soft cheeks with your hands and cupping his jaw. 

"huh?" his eyes slightly widened, his head tilting to the side a little in confusion, causing you to giggle a little.

"Don't pull anything like that again, th-then.." he looked flustered, looking away from you now, half the sadness wiping off his face to your relief.

"soorrryyy~ i didn't think you'd take it so seriously!" you let out a soft chuckle at his tightening grasp on your waist.

"yup, you're repaying me for that little scare."

────୨ৎ────

a/n: srry if this is bad guys! anyway, yeah id totally see bokuto 100% blaming himself, even if he is like SUPER attached and wtv

wait now i feel bad cmere