#sorry it took so long to answer this ask but i think that's what makes an excellent choice in questions
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Cramp Simulator
LADS Men and a cramp simulator. This is how I imagine they would handle it.
A/N: I’ve gotten many requests for a cramp simulator so this is for those who wanna torture their man hehe
𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎
[Before]
Of course he is berating you with questions. Where did you get this? why do you want him to do this? Will this have long lasting effects?
Believes you when you say your cramps are bad so he’s having a hard time understanding why you want to cause him immense pain
Agrees anyway because he will always do whatever you want him to do
[During]
This would be one of the rare moments you see Zayne break his calm cool and collected composure
“Are you sure you’re not having a heart attack every month?” He’s leaning on any surface he can find long after you’ve taken the simulator off of him
I imagine he has a high pain tolerance, but this was too much “You can turn it off now” you turn it up. “My love please turn it off” red in the face sweating and hands are shaking
[After]
You gave him your heating pad to help with the lingering pain “I was unaware of what you were dealing with every month”
Prepare to be pampered every time you get your period now; he's stocking up all your feminine products, tea, heating pads, painkillers, and your favorite foods and snacks
Monitors your heart closely during the week because he's worried you might have a heart attack
Brings up the option of medical grade painkillers, but immediately changes his mind because he doesn’t want you getting addicted
“Next time you start you period just take the week off” insists you stay home and let him take care of you, bringing you tea and rubbing your stomach
𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕
[Before]
Overconfident to start — he can sense when you’re not feeling well, but can’t sense your cramp pain he just knows you’re not okay
Believes you when you say your cramps are bad, but "there’s no way they’re that bad" he has a high pain tolerance so “this will be a piece of cake turn it up”
[During]
Trying to hide the grimace on his face when he feels the first ‘cramp’ “Keep going?” “Yea this is nothing” he’s already sweating
Screaming, whining, crying and damn near throwing up “I’m dying there’s no way im not dying I see the light” “You’re not dying” “YES I AM”
“This is what you go through? No wonder you’re so mean” “I was being nice this is what I actually feel” you turn it up and he throws himself on the floor “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY TURN IT OFF PLEASE” gasping for air as he rolls around
[After]
Leaves you little snacks and gifts outside the door whenever you get your period now
Has never asked “Is it really that bad?” again because he knows the answer now; gets pains just thinking about it
Had to go lay down and take a nap after you took the simulator off of him.
Stocks up on heating pads and rubs your stomach and back religiously now
𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛
[Before]
Isn’t nervous, but also isn't excited “I’m ready”
Is only doing this because you promised him hotpot afterwards
“You’re no stranger to pain” “Im not a masochist” “Debatable”
[During]
The pain was so bad that it pissed him off “This is complete bullshit” “I’m not interested in continuing this turn it off please”
When you turn it up so show him what you actually experience he’s kneeling at your feet begging you to turn it off “My Star please I understand please end this”
Accidentally grips whatever is near him so hard he breaks it
sweating, red in the face with tears in his eyes
[After]
Nurse Xavier now
Whenever you get your period he’s making you lay down and take it easy all week.
Is helping you in and out of bed
Leaves either a tampon or fresh underwear with a pad already lined in it on the counter for you when you get out of the shower
Loves these weeks now because he can nap with you as much as he wants
Carries you everywhere “Xav I promise I can walk” “With cramps as horrendous as those? You really are superwoman”
𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜
[Before]
Nonchalant as always has almost a bored expression
“I still feel pain Princess, but I'll indulge you”
You tell him to sit down, but he opts to stand
"You shot and stabbed me before I can handle this" "I scratched you" "You stabbed me clear through the chest" "What?" "What."
[During]
Panting and red in the face does his best to try and handle the pain
Breathing heavily and doubled over leaning against the nearest surface he can find
“Okay okay thats enough” brought him to knees once again “I thought you could handle pain?” “That does not mean I enjoy it”
Has to sit down for a while completely still like a statue after that
[After]
Already pampered you during your periods, but he’s upped it now
Literally tracks your cycle and makes sure he’s always nearby incase it comes early
Wants you to stay with him the entire time “I need to go to work Sylus” “No you don’t you need to rest”
Makes a nesting bed for you and is at your beckoned call
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lads#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds#sylus lnds#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#l&ds#l&ds sylus#l&ds rafayel#l&ds xavier#l&ds zayne#nikaaaaimagine
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Cross The Line*
Summary: “Harry and Y/N have always had a great professional relationship, all based on one rule; a line they drew the first time they met. But when one day that line accidentally blurs, Harry finds that he doesn’t want it to go back to the way it was…”
Wc: 13k
Tropes: Boss!rry x Secretary!Y/N
Warnings: A LOT of back and forth (this is what Katy Perry wrote hot and cold about), arguing, curse words, smut, dirty talk, degradation, light ch0king, dom/sub dynamics, edging, b0ndage, and recording while… yk🤗
A/N: I’m terribly sorry to have been testing your patience so much the second half of this year, here is a long one shot to say I’m sorry🥲 and I appreciate all of you and I hope you are happy and healthy and will get everything you want in the new year xx💘💘
General Masterlist
HEADER = POV change
Harry's relationship with his secretary is completely normal.
At least, he’s always thought it is.
Sure, it may have seemed more friendly than the usual boss/secretary relationship, but that was only because Y/N was special. She was one of the kind. Smart, stealthy, and sneaky if need be. She did everything he asked for, sometimes before he even realized he should ask her, and was always ready to do more.
Of course, she was attractive as well. Shit, attractive may have even been an understatement. Y/N was drop dead gorgeous and Harry was entirely aware of it. Her ambition made her even sexier, and it's one of the reasons he hired her in the first place.
When Y/N walked through his office door that first time three years ago, he couldn't believe his eyes.
He remembers it like it was yesterday, those wide eyes staring back at him as she froze a couple feet away from him. She was quick to regain herself, though—he had to give her that. But she was nervous as she sat down, even though her movements were calm and the tone of her voice stern. He saw the slightest shake of those hands of her.
Because that job interview hadn't been the first time Harry and Y/N came across each other. It was actually a Halloween party at some high end secretive club in New York one month prior. A night that ended with them hooking up in one of the private lounges.
Even back then, when he never thought he'd see her again, he knew that he would never forget that night, nor the way her face scrunched up as she clenched around him, or the sounds that she made as he drove into her.
He could see that she remembered it as well as she sat across from him that day, but Y/N had quickly made it clear that she was serious about pursuing a career in the film industry. She said she could prove what a great secretary she could be for him, as long as they could put that Halloween night behind them and pretend it never happened. She wouldn't make him regret it, she had told him. He took the chance.
And she had been absolutely right.
Three years had passed and Harry was still thankful to himself for hiring Y/N. She was the best around; fiercely loyal as well. Y/N had been offered jobs by other companies, but she turned down every last one of them. Harry liked to think their relationship played a bit of a part in that as well.
They had become friends—if that's what you could call it—over the years. They had a playful dynamic filled with flirty jokes and random phone calls and favors that blurred that line they had drawn so carefully during Y/N's job interview.
No matter what, Y/N would be the first Harry would call, every time. Whether it was bad business news or a drunken phone call, her number was most likely to be at the top of his last calls. And she always answered, even though she didn't have to. It was a special bond, and while they always danced on it—especially Harry—they never crossed that one line.
Not that Harry needed to. As a matter of a fact, he had quite the adventurous love life. With plenty of people on speed dial and a charming smile that could make anyone's panties drop, Harry wasn't short on romantic escapades. The one thing they all had in common, though, was that it'd never last longer than a few days, and they were rarely ever repeated.
The same couldn't be said for Y/N. In fact, Harry had never seen her with anyone outside of her work, and he never heard her mentioning anything about it...
He didn't know why, but somehow, that thought popped up into his head last Friday as they sat in his office with a drink, celebrating the outstanding reviews that critics had given the newest produced film that was set to premiere next week. Before Harry knew it, he was asking about it.
"Why are you rubbing your temples?" He questioned, watching Y/N massage the side of her head with her eyes closed. He was leaned back in his seat, whiskey in hand as he observed the woman across from him.
"Tension headache." She groaned in response. Despite her grumpiness, Harry couldn't help but grin. What could he say? She was cute when she was grumpy.
"We are literally celebrating, Y/N. What could you possibly be so tense about right now?" He teased, and felt his stomach swirl as a smile painted her lips. She might have rolled her eyes, but she still thought he was funny.
"Oh you have no idea." She mumbled, grabbing her glass and leaning back into her chair. She took a big gulp, her face pulling at the strong taste of the liquor. Harry chuckled.
"You should relax more. Maybe get a hot date to take care of some of that stress for you." He suggested jokingly. Y/N scoffed at the insinuation.
Shaking her head, she said: "I get taken care of just fine, thank you very much."
The equally teasing tone in which she responded caught Harry seriously off guard. Her slight grin pressed down on his chest, and despite having started this joking banter himself, he suddenly didn't find the topic very funny anymore.
"When?"
Y/N locked eyes with her boss. “What?”
"You're here 24/7, when do you even have time to hook up with someone?"
"You know there's this thing called weekends." She joked, but the amusement faded when Harry's mouth didn't even quirk upwards in the slightest bit. It fell quiet for a second or two, and just when Y/N opened her mouth to say something else, someone knocked on the office door.
"Come in."
Harry had said, and soon enough Robin, one of the managers walked in, telling them everyone was going to the pub down the street to celebrate, and if they wanted to come along.
Harry didn't even have the chance to reject the offer—he'd rather spend his nights with his secretary—before Y/N agreed to go along. Feeling obligated, Harry reluctantly gave in as well.
He ended up going home quite early that night, not even properly saying goodbye to Y/N like he normally would before leaving, and he couldn't get the image of her wrapped around another man out of his head the entire ride home. He didn't know why it bothered him so much. Maybe it was the fact that it shouldn't, and more importantly, couldn't bother him, which made it even less bearable.
Whichever reason there may have been for it, he decided to drown out his thoughts by inviting one of his old hook-ups to his house. But even as he drove himself into her as she kept screaming his name, he couldn't stop thinking of Y/N. When she had reached her climax and he began to chase his own high—Harry was caught off guard by Y/N's face flashing through his mind, and extremely embarrassed when those images triggered his orgasm.
The next week is awkward, to say the least. It started out Monday, when Harry could barely look Y/N in the eye. She had received the sudden cold shoulder pretty well, but Harry still felt horrible about it. His attitude got less stiff throughout the week, but it was still bad.
By the time Thursday rolls around again, Harry still hasn't had the chance to get that weird feeling out of his system. So when he approaches his office and spots Y/N behind her desk smiling at him, a wave of guilt washes over him.
He curses himself as he sinks into his desk chair, absentmindedly turning on his laptop. What is he doing? Y/N is his assistant. He shouldn't let his protectiveness of her get the best of him. He does not want to lose her in any way.
Harry flinches when there is a knock on his door. He looks up, finding Y/N standing in his doorway. Immediately, he signals for her to come in. She seems a bit nervous as she nears him, and considering she's never been nervous around him, his heart sinks at the idea that the cold shoulder he's been giving her the other night might have affected her way more than he thought.
He just doesn't know how to behave instead.
"You have a meeting in conference room C in five minutes. It's the banker's son who's been proposing his script for the past year. I know your schedule is tight, especially with the premiere coming up, but I thought you might as well get it over with." She says, putting a stack of papers on the table that Harry can only assume is the script. He nods, quirking up the corner of his mouth.
"Thank you, smart thinking." The praise falls from his lips in a casual manner, and he doesn't miss the way she physically relaxes at the positive reinforcement. She nods at him, and turns back to the door. Right before she is about to leave the office, she turns around again. Harry leans back in his seat, waiting to hear what she'll say.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped last week." She says, and Harry frowns at the apology.
"What?"
"I clearly said something that ticked you off." She explains,her shoulders slumping slightly. "I know we joke around, but I was afraid that maybe I'd accidentally crossed a line—“
"Y/N, stop it." Harry interrupts her, getting up from his seat. Her lips are locked within a second, and she stares at her boss with wide eyes. His stomach twists at the sight of it. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"But— if I said something inappropriate then I want to apologize for it." She says, straightening her posture again, biting her bottom lip so he won't see it quiver. As if he doesn't know the way her body works. As if he hasn't known for three years.
Putting his hands inside his pockets, Harry walks around his desk and stands in front of her. A little closer than he needs to, and yet not as close he would like.
"Let me ask you this: How many times have you declined booty calls for me?" He asks, tilting his head a bit. A slight smile appears on Y/N's face, and she pretends to think it over.
"Twenty-seven." Her smile crinkles her eyes, making them even more glassy. Harry quite literally feels his hand itch to touch her face, but he keeps it sternly in his pocket. "I kept track so I could count all the reasons you definitely won't get into heaven."
At that, he lets out a snort. Y/N can't help but chuckle too, and slowly but surely the weirdness dissolves from the room. When the laughter has died down, she speaks up again.
"So... we're good?"
"We're good." Harry smiles at his secretary, and his chest heats up when he spots the faint blush that appears on her cheeks. Jesus Christ, did she become even more beautiful than she was yesterday or was he just too stupid to notice earlier? Probably the latter.
"Well in that case you need to leave because your meeting is like, right now." She reminds him, and he hums in agreement as he gets up from his seat and walks towards the door with Y/N.
"Already gone, love." He winks at her, walking out the door with a lot more confidence in his relationship with Y/N. Maybe everything can go back to normal again. Maybe he was just exaggerating when he couldn't get her out of his head this weekend. Perhaps it was just a glitch, a temporary error in his brain that had come and gone in a flash.
That must've been it, he tells himself as he makes his way to conference room C. He takes a deep breath, musters a polite smile, and opens the door to the room. Harry already knows this guy is going to be wasting his time, but he made a promise to hear him out, so he will.
The guy sitting at the table is the stereotypical spoiled rich son. When John Longwell—a long-time business partner of Harry's— asked him to revise his son's script as a favor, Harry told him he'd do it if he ever found the time. He always hoped John's son would lose interest and forget about the script by the time Harry could find a free space in his agenda, but unfortunately that hadn't been the case.
And although the arc of the story had sounded absolutely horrendous— something about zombies fueled by a brainwashing radio song, which didn't even make sense to Harry because zombies don't have brains—he couldn't back out anymore. So he needs to get it over with, starting now.
Harry loudly shuts the door.
The guy—whose name he can't really remember at the moment—flinches and turns around, a big grin on his face as he gets up from his seat.
"Mr. Styles, it's a pleasure to see you." The man says, extending his hand, which Harry, in turn, takes. He only gives a slight nod before heading over to the other side of the table and sitting down.
"So, where's your script?" Harry asks, eyeing the empty table. The guy looks flustered, opening his mouth to say something, but the opening of the door interrupts that. Harry leans back in his seat when he spots his secretary walk through it, not even eyeing the other guy as she struts over to him and lays the printed out script on the glass table.
"Sorry, you forgot this. It was still on your desk." She says, finally turning to the man to throw him an innocent smile. His sheepish grin satisfies her enough to turn back to her boss and focus all her attention on him. "I also forgot to ask you— do you want to move up lunch today?"
The corner of Harry's mouth tugs up. Over the last three years, the concept of 'moving up lunch' has become a code for 'should I get you out of this early?'. Y/N came up with it a long time ago, and it has stuck ever since.
"Yes, I would very much like that. Thank you, Y/N." He says, and the way a smirk slowly creeps onto her face makes the hairs on his body rise.
"It's my pleasure, Mr. Styles." She gives one final nod before walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. Harry would lie if he said he didn't let his eyes fall onto the way her hips moved as she strolled away.
Unfortunately the fun doesn't last long, and with the slam of the door Harry is reminded that he still has to sit through this meeting a little longer. He looks down at the script.
"A Thousand Zombies
By Jason Longwell."
Right, Jason, that was his name.
"Jesus Christ, if that were my secretary I'd have her bent over my desk all day. How do you get any work done?" Jason breathed out, grinning like a stupid fucking schoolboy. Harry quite literally felt the storm cloud that came floating right above his head the second he heard that incompetent loser say those words. His hands balled up into fists at the suggestive comment, knuckles getting whiter by the second.
"Get out." Harry growls. John raises his eyebrows, looking around him as if Harry couldn't have possibly been addressing it to him.
"W— what?" He stumbles.
"I don't do business with insolent idiots. Get out." Harry repeats, getting up from his seat and buttoning his suit jacket. John follows his movements, anger starting to cloud on his face.
"What the fuck did you just call me?" He exclaims in a failed attempt to sound intimidating. At least, Harry assumes that's what he's trying to do.
"I called you an idiot. Now, get the hell out of my face before I boot your sorry ass right to the front door." With one brow raised, he waits as John tries to muster a response until he eventually gives up and storms out of the room. Harry throws the script into the trash as he walks out of the conference room half a minute later. Y/N is immediately by his side.
"That was quick, I didn't even have time to think of an emergency." She jokes as they walk back to Harry's office together. He raises a brow.
"Yes you did. What was it this time? Food poisoning?" He guesses, holding the door to his office open once they've reached it. Y/N grins as she walks past him and takes a seat at one of the chairs in front of his desk.
"Actually, your car was going to get stolen in about five minutes." She responds, the blush of her cheeks revealing the slight embarrassment of having to voice this excuse out loud. Harry's eyes widen as he walks over to his desk, feeling his assistant watching his every move. He quite likes the feeling.
"No way." He laughs. "You just get more creative by the day."
"What can I say, I'm good at crisis management." She shrugs, crossing her legs and getting into a more comfortable position on the chair. Harry tries his best to not let his eyes float to her legs.
"That you are." He murmurs, the huskier sound of his voice giving a different ambiance to the conversation. As Harry feels the mood switch, he curses himself. Why did he have to ruin it?
Y/N clears her throat. "Anyway— why'd the meeting end early?"
"It ended early because Jason Longwell is a sleazy douchebag." He responds shortly, straightening in his seat in an attempt to gain control of the situation again. He can't let himself slip like this again, and she can't know the real reason he kicked out Jason. But there is no denying the sheer rage that boils his blood when that comment flashes through his memory. He hates that the asshole thought he could just speak about Y/N like that.
"Ooh, what did he say when you kicked him out?" Y/N asks eagerly, still in a playful mood. "You did kick him out right?"
"I don't have time to get into this right now. I need to sign those contracts that were sent in yesterday before I go home." Harry says sternly, avoiding eye contact with Y/N as he speaks, but he still sees the slump in her shoulders at his sudden shift in attitude.
"Right, of course." She immediately returns to the responsible secretary she always is, getting up from her seat. He hears her exit the room, heels clacking against the wooden floor. As soon as the door has shut, Harry throws his head back in frustration.
So much for going back to normal.
Playing into the teasing will only rope him further into that forbidden fantasy, and he clearly won't be able to stop himself from resisting her if he does. But he's the one who started all the playfulness, massively screwing himself over he realizes now. If he shifts his behavior, she's always going to think he's mad at her because of something. But he's going to have to, because Harry can't go back to normal anymore.
Deciding he needs to clear his head, Harry grabs his coat and heads for the elevators without so much as a word. He pretends not to notice the way people's eyes widen when he walks by, suddenly on their best behavior, and although it used to give him an ego boost back when he started, nowadays he just prefers it if people aren't scared of him.
It turns out to be a particularly nice outside for a winter day in London. Not to get it twisted— it's still freakishly cold. It's just that the sun has replaced the endless rain of this entire month. Harry suppresses a chuckle at the irony of the sun finally being out at the very first moment where he's felt so shitty in a long time.
He doesn't know how long he's outside, so he knows it's not fair to be frustrated when he comes back and Y/N isn't at her desk, but he can't help the slight distress that washes over him at the empty seat.
"It's just a date—"
"Your second date!"
Harry creased brows don't do much to hide his feelings when he turns around to see his secretary with a co-worker. The shy smile on her face—accompanied with that blush on her cheeks she always gets when she's secretly giddy about something—disappears at the sight of her boss looking at her like she just killed a puppy.
"Ha— Mr. Styles." She is quick to catch her almost error. Her wide eyes bore into his, filled with confusion and worry. But Harry's frown doesn't give away much, aside. From the fact that he is obviously annoyed.
"I was looking for you." He states stoically, not even acknowledging the employee that is standing next to her. The woman takes the hint and gives Y/N and Harry a small nod before walking away. As soon as she does, Harry turns around and walks towards his own office. He can hear her footsteps following him inside, and with the inconsistent clacking against the floor he can tell she's having a hard time keeping up with his long strides. Still, he doesn't slow his pace.
"I need the papers for the donations printed out and on my desk. And I'll need you to move the meeting with the director of the romance movie to Tuesday evening."
"Yes, of course." The breathy response falls from Y/N's lips the second he finishes his sentence, and by the time he enters his office, she is long gone to do exactly what he asked. Harry shuts the door a little louder than intending to, accidentally shaking the framed artwork on the wall.
Y/N isn't very talkative for the rest of the day, that usual spark of hers seemingly having dimmed. Harry's chest is heavy, knowing his cold attitude was the catalyst for that, but he keeps it up nonetheless. He can't help himself from falling back into it every time he sees her face.
A date. She's going on a date. A second one at that. He can't believe it. Is this who she referred to when she said she gets taken care of? His stomach churns at the possibility.
He tries not to, but Harry still gets warped into the spiral of overthinking about 'date' Y/N has tonight. So much, in fact, that he almost doesn't notice the time flying by until Y/N knocks on his door at 6PM. Harry spots the coat that hangs over her desk chair, and he realizes the work day is over.
"Everything is done for the day and ready for next week. I also sent the papers about the donations with a courier who owed me a favor, so the documents are signed on both parts and the donations will be officially registered by Monday." She explains, hands behind her back. Her new shy behavior—while quite endearing—is excruciating to see. She had always been comfortable around Harry, until now. Until he had to ruin it for the both of them.
"Thank you." Harry gives her a firm nod.
"No problem." She responds a bit awkwardly. "So... I'm going to clock out for the day."
Y/N has already turned around by them time Harry's voice croaks out a 'no'. She whips her head towards her boss, head tilted as she awaited whatever it was that he was going to say.
"I need those contracts for that romance movie." He says before he can even comprehend his words.
"But you won't be negotiating that deal for another two weeks." Y/N retorts, her tone more stern than usual. He can tell she's tired.
"I don't care. I want them on my desk tonight." He holds his head high, despite knowing damn well what he's doing.
He's stalling. Long enough for... he doesn't know actually. For her to cancel her date? It sounds ridiculous now that he really thinks about it.
"Harry, I have an appointment tonight—"
"I said I don't care. I pay you to do as I ask. This is not something you can argue me on." He grumbles. With how Y/N's jaw is clenched, he can't say the same for her attitude. Without another word, she leaves the office.
Harry's worry begins to grow every minute that passes with Y/N out of sight. But when she returns with a stack of papers in her hand after a bit—seven minutes to be exact—that worry evolves into surprise. Walking over to his desk, she plops the papers on them a bit carelessly before speaking up.
"I had them made on Monday because I like to be a few steps ahead." She elaborates. "Now, if that's all, I'm going home."
Y/N doesn't even say goodbye when she grabs her coat and walks to the elevators. Harry sighs to himself, not knowing how the hell he should handle this. It takes him a few seconds before he realizes he really can't do this anymore. He needs to talk to her, if only just to clear the air.
And so, he gets up from his seat and hurries after his assistant.
He catches her just as she walks into an empty elevator, and he joins just before the doors close. Her knitted brows make it clear that she is not in the mood to talk to him.
"I'm sorry... about the documents." Harry confesses, but she doesn't face him. It stays quiet between them for a bit, until the biting sentence falls from Y/N's lips.
"You said we were good."
His heart cracks at her wobbly voice. He can't believe he made her feel this way. If any other person would've brought her to tears, he would've beaten the shit out of them. He reaches for her arm.
"W— we are." He lies. It's the biggest lie he's ever told her, and she knows it, because she immediately turns around.
"No we're not! I said I was sorry if I did something wrong, and you told me it was okay, and now all of a sudden you're being so... cold. I don't understand—" her eyes become glassy. "I don't understand what I did wrong."
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Harry opens his mouth, ready to spout out his apologies, when Y/N's phone starts to ring. It takes them out of their little trance, and Y/N fumbles around her jacket for a bit until she's finally found her phone. He can't see who's calling her, but it can't be an expected call if he has to judge by the expression on her face.
"Marco, why are you—" her eyes widen at whatever the voice on the other side of the line is telling her, and Harry subconsciously finds himself leaning in a bit in the hope to find out what's wrong.
"What?" Y/N breathes. Her voice is small, and it sounds defeated, tired. The elevator dings, signaling they're downstairs, but Y/N doesn't move, so Harry doesn't either. She seems to notice and lets out a huff before storming out of the confined space and pacing around the lobby.
"You said we had a green light! That was months ago, Marco! Did you even—" She growls, clutching at her phone so hard Harry is afraid she's going to break it. "You know what, never mind. Give me his number."
The Marco guy seems to say something that he really shouldn't have said, because with the way Y/N's face twists Harry swears he can see steam coming out of her ears
"I don't care that they're not answering, I'll make them answer. Give me their numbers and then go find them." She orders before ending the call. And although the thought really shouldn't be crossing his mind right now, Harry can't help but notice how attractive Y/N is when she's mad. He shakes off the thought, telling himself that's the last thing he should be paying attention to right now.
Y/N paces around one more time, cursing under her breath, before striding past Harry and pushing the elevator buttons like a maniac.
"What's going on?"
Y/N shakes her head. "N— nothing. Just a little hiccup that could've easily been prevented. I won't be long."
Harry raises a skeptical brow, but she doesn't dare to meet his eye. She's lying through her teeth.
"Y/N—"
"Harry, really, it's nothing. I'm taking care of it." She tries to convince him, but he notices the way her hands are slightly trembling. "I'm sorry I was unprofessional. You're my boss. It's my job to take your orders, not question them."
Wait, no.
That aching feeling fills his stomach. His entire body, for that matter. He doesn't want her to be a silent and compliant assistant. That's not why he hired her. He needs someone to push back, to joke around with. Shit— what has he done?
Harry finds himself speechless as she enters the elevator and pushes the button of the seventh floor; the office. His brain isn't fast enough to think of what to say before the doors shut and the elevator ascends.
His feet stay glued to the ground as he ponders, his mind reeling like a rollercoaster. Frustration fills his body to his every finger tip. Everything has gone wrong, and he has no idea how to make it better.
At least ten minutes must've gone by by the time that a concierge taps Harry on the shoulder to ask him if he's okay. Still a bit wary, he nods before excusing himself and leaving the building.
Everything is going wrong.
Leaning over the desk with her face buried between her arms, Y/N is unable to hold back the tears that glide over her cheeks.
First, her boss gets mad at her, and she has no idea why. Then, just when they seemed to be okay again, he changed his attitude up again. And what does she do instead of letting it go? She starts a fight. And now Marco drops a disastrous bomb in her lap that could entirely ruin the movie premiere on Sunday. And if that wasn't enough—and she really thinks it was—this sudden crisis caused her to cancel her date of tonight.
It wasn't anything special, really. Y/N had met Jamie a few weeks ago, and they went out last week. He was a nice guy, handsome too, and she thought he was perfect for a short lived affair. Besides, her vibrator just couldn't live up to her fantasies. She was human, she needed to get off every now and then too. It was like Y/N had this itch in need of scratching, one she hadn't been able to reach in what felt like years.
But that wasn't going to happen now. In fact, she was risking being fired if she didn't solve this problem as soon as possible.
Damn! She really thought she had kept it all together, despite the extreme business this year. She thought she'd done a good job.
But that was a lie, because if she had done a good job, Marco wouldn't have ever gotten into the position where an artist on the soundtrack could manipulate the contract they signed. Y/N had told Marco to make it airtight, already having been suspicious of the artists' integrity from the moment they became part of the soundtrack. She assumed that they would try something.
'Chain' was an up and coming band known for their indie sound, but Y/N would just describe them as two pricks. Not only had they been subtly demeaning to her when Harry met with them, barely acknowledging her existence, they were arrogant as well. They came in expecting a lot more money than Harry and the rest of the company were willing to give them. It was absurd that they expected such a big number, but their cocky attitude didn't fade throughout the meeting.
It was truly a favor to the director, why Harry worked so hard to compromise with Chain. The director had been so passionate about the movie, and he had really wanted the song. If one thing was important to Harry, it's that there went passion onto the projects he produced and invested in. So, he decided to help, and eventually managed to struck a deal with the singers. It was still way above the pay grade they should've got—in Y/N's opinion—but they agreed.
Having seen first hand how greedy those two were, she had told Marco—the guy who handled all the legal documents—to make that contract airtight. She demanded to look it over, but because of her busy schedule, she let Marco have another lawyer look at it before sending the contract.
And now, because of a lazy mistake Chain's lawyer found, they are demanding more money or they'll waive their rights to the music. Something which would be absolutely detrimental because the entire climax of the movie, the cinematography and timing are all tuned to the song.
If she doesn't find a way to solve this problem, this entire premiere could fall apart, and it would all be her fault. She gave the green light to Harry, who gave it to the director. It's all her fault.
She should've fucking read that contract herself, then this would've never happened.
Between Harry being mad at her, the fact that she was in her luteal phase, and this sudden disaster, the tears began streaming down her face, and the soft crying only turned into full on sobs the more she tries to calm herself down.
She allows herself the mental breakdown, but when she begins to regain control of her breath again after a few minutes, Y/N decides that it's enough. She has a job to get done, and no one was going to swoop in and save her.
So, she starts making call after call, ringing everyone in the immediate vicinity of the two arrogant bastards. It's crucial she reaches them before the night is over. Only forty minutes have passed by the time she is on the seventh person, but it feels like an eternity nonetheless.
She flinches when, while trying to reach Chain's tour manager, the elevator door dings and a shadow nears. Her tense shoulders sink a little bit at the sight of Harry, glad it's not some creep. Her brows crease as she watches him walk towards her. He's carrying a couple of bags with... is that food? It sure smells like it.
When the call goes to voicemail—for the third time—Y/N puts down the phone and gets up from her seat, hurrying over to her boss and stopping him before he could reach her desk.
"What are you doing here?!" She asks, blocking his way. He lifts the bags, a subtle, apologetic smile on his face.
"I brought food—" He looks up at her, and his eyes darken as soon as he takes in her face. "Have you been crying?"
Y/N raises her hands to her face, quickly glancing at the ground while she wipes her cheeks before meeting his eyes again. Harry puts the bags down, and it feels like her heart skips a beat or two when his thumbs stroke the skin under both her eyes. He leaves his hand around her face, cupping her jaw while he stares at her with such a piercing pain in his eyes that it makes Y/N's eyes water altogether again.
"What's wrong?" His voice is soft, and the feel of his big, warm hands holding her is comforting her in a way she hasn't experienced in a quite some time. Y/N only focused on his chest, afraid that the welled up water in her eyes will spill out again the second she looks at her boss. She told herself the crying was over, so why wasn't she able to control herself?
A few seconds pass, and silence runs between the thick air that makes it nearly impossible to breathe normally. Then, Y/N feels the slight pressure of Harry's hands, inching her head upwards. Automatically, her gaze flicks to that of her boss, and when she sees the worry on his face, a tear escapes her eye. His thumb catches it before it has the chance to roll down all the way down her cheek.
"I messed up." She only says, closing her eyes in shame. Harry says nothing, only letting out a sigh as he continues to caress her cheek.
Suddenly, the phone rings. Y/N reluctantly backs away from Harry's touch, and runs over to her desk to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" She says, her voice laced with such desperation that she internally cringes at it.
"Y/N? It's Marco. I found them, they're at a studio just outside the city."
She hums, grabbing a pen. "Give me the address."
"No, I'm going. This is my mess, Y/N, I'm not going to let you clean it up." Marco croaks from the other side of the line, and Y/N feels his voice tug at her heartstrings.
"Marco, listen to me. This is as much my fault as it is yours. I should've read the damn thing and notice the mistake." She replies, leaning over her desk to grab her coat.
"Y/N, I'll take care of it, okay? I found a fault in their loophole, they're stuck. Let me handle this. You just go home and enjoy what's left of your evening I ruined—" Marco tells her. "Wait, didn't you have a date tonight? Oh my god, did I ruin your date?"
"I did... but it's alright. It probably wouldn't have worked out with him anyway." Y/N chuckled awkwardly and glanced towards Harry, who looked weirdly annoyed at what she said.
"I'm so sorry, I promise I'll make it up to you." Marco shares the desperate plea.
"You can make it up to me by giving me the address of the studio." Y/N tells him cheekily.
"Y/N..." he warns.
"What? I promise I'm going home. It's just so I know where you are." She lies. Y/N is a good liar, except in front of Harry. Having a tendency to get nervous, she always betrays herself. She's lucky that this is a phone call, otherwise Marco would've known she wasn't planning on going home at all.
Hesitantly, he gives her the address, which she immediately writes down on her hand.
"Okay, thank you Marco. Good luck." She says, hanging up the phone with a lot more confidence than ten minutes ago. She can feel Harry staring her down as she puts on her coat, clearly waiting for an explanation for this whiplash-like behavior.
"I really have to go."
Harry shrugs. "I'll give you a ride. You can explain everything to me on the way to your house."
Y/N shakes her head, walking towards her boss. "No, really, you don't have to."
"Yes I do." Harry argues.
"You really don't."
"Do you have a problem with me bringing you home, Y/N?" He asks as if he's dumb, as if he doesn't know she's secretly trying to go to that studio.
"No!" She is quick to protest.
"Or does it have anything to do with the address of that mysterious studio you've written on your hand?" He teases, and Y/N clenches her jaw in frustration.
"I just— I need to make sure it's handled." She sputters. Harry shrugs.
"From what I heard it's being handled just fine." He points out. "You've got to learn to let things go sometimes, Y/N."
She shakes her head, looking the floor. "I can't. Not with this."
Harry lowers his head, trying to get on the same eye-level as her and searching for her eyes. "Why not?"
"I told you; I messed up." Her voice quivers as she tells Harry the truth. "There was a mistake in the contract with Chain. Somehow they found a loophole, and now they want more money or they'll waive the rights to their song."
"What?!" Harry growls, exactly like Y/N anticipated he'd react. God, he's going to fire her any moment.
"It's my fault. It was a reference mistake I could've easily spotted if I had taken the time to revise it." She admits, feeling extremely shameful of her lazy actions.
"What are you talking about? This is the legal team's fault, they should've seen that damned mistake! It's not in your job description to revise a contract, it's not your responsibility. It's not your fault, Y/N." He explains. She sucks in a breath, his words hitting her harder than she expected. Heart aching, the one sentence rings in her head.
It's not your fault.
That couldn't be true, could it? She was responsible for this deal, and for Harry. She should've seen this coming, even though she couldn't have possibly known. Did she not always pride herself in having this sixth sense, in being ahead of everyone else? What was she without that? What was she if not the best at the one thing that made her special, that set her apart from the crowd. What was she worth without that invincibility?
"You revise every contract, don't you?"
Her eyes flick towards her boss. She doesn't say anything, but the answer is hidden in her pupils. And it seems Harry can read them like an open book. "How long have you been doing that?"
"Two years." Y/N stammers, her arms crossed as if it will keep her body from revealing whatever her mouth won't. Harry just lets out a breathy chuckle before pulling her into his arms, taking her into a sweet embrace. With his chin leaning on her head, Y/N takes the opportunity to bury her face in his chest, trying not to bask too much in the heavenly scent of his cologne.
"Remind me to give you a raise." He jokes in a soft whisper, earning a sniff of laughter from Y/N.
For a while it seems like everything that tore her down, including what went down between her and Harry, didn't exist anymore. There was just him and her, their embrace and a distant ticking clock, the only indicator of time passing. Yet it felt like the world stopped, or slowed down at least, being in Harry's arms like that. And suddenly, that itch that she hadn't been able to scratch in so long, it felt like it was soothed by a stroking hand instead, and in a way it fulfilled her. It just so happened to be a way she did not expect.
The initial shock at the realization—this puzzle piece that suddenly clicked—made Y/N back away. She clears her throat, fiddling with her hands.
"They're supposed to be at this studio right outside the city. It's only twenty minutes away by car. I just need to be sure." She announces. Harry grabs the bags of food he put down before placing his hand on her lower back and guiding the both of them back to the elevator.
"We'll take my car." He states, and although Y/N can tell by his tone that Harry expects there to be no talking back, but she just can't help herself.
"Harry, I told you I can take a cab." She suggests as they wait for the elevator door to open. Harry doesn't respond as he guides them both into the small space and pushes the button for the ground floor. When the door closes, he turns to her, looking down at her with such an intimidating stare that Y/N feels like she's shrinking.
"And I told you: we're taking my car." He says sternly, his low voice twisting her stomach in an interesting way. When Y/N goes to open her mouth again, Harry lays his finger on her lips. He hums in disapproval, shaking his head.
"I was being clear, right?" He asks rhetorically. His gaze sweeps over her mouth before settling on her eyes again. Not daring to speak another word, let alone breathe, Y/N only nods in response.
"Good." Harry responds, a cocky smirk framing his face as he strolls out of the elevator, leaving Y/N breathless and in a slight trance. Blinking a few times, she comes back to her sense and hurries after her boss.
Richard has always been a master at reading people, and this time is no exception. The second he began driving, he raised the partition, leaving Harry and Y/N with some privacy.
Harry really has a knack for hiring the right people.
The first few minutes of the car ride are silent, and Harry spends it observing Y/N as she picked at her nail beds, frantically looking at of the window as if it would make the car move faster. She has so much tension inside that little body of hers; she is clearly in need of a distraction.
"I think I'm jealous."
Y/N's head whips to him, brows raised at the sudden confession. Her body turns with her, knees now in Harry's direction as she leans back into the seat, getting comfortable as she lays close attention.
"Of me?" She asks, utterly confused. She seems very lost, not really connecting the dots. Harry doesn't blame her; that confession was quite out of the blue.
"Of whoever gets to take care of you."
Pure silence. Harry swears he could hear a pin drop. Y/N stares at him like a deer in headlights, probably having no idea what to say or do or think. She gulps.
"What?" Her voice is so soft that he almost doesn't hear her, but since all his focus is on her, he doesn't miss it. Letting out a breath, he leans forward, placing a hand on her thigh. His face inches closer and closer until their mouths are mere inches away from each other. Checking for her reaction with every small movement, he can't help but notice how she doesn't stray away from him. In fact, she leans in, causing their lips to brush against each other.
"The idea of another man touching you, having you, it makes my fucking blood boil." He says, voice hoarse. Her eyes frantically search every last inch of his face, looking for something she seemingly can't find. Perhaps she's attempting to find the usual playfulness that always accompanies any conversation that blurs that line between them. In that case, she could keep looking forever and ever, because he is dead serious. Fuck how it used to be and fuck whatever's right or wrong.
And most of all, fuck that line, because he's crossing it.
Harry closes the small gap between them, trying to suppress the moan that threatens to work up his throat at the sole feeling of her lips against his. What a fucking idiot he was for ever agreeing to forget about that Halloween night. Not that he ever truly did forget about it. Besides her obvious competencies, hiring Y/N was a way of keeping her where he seemed to like her best from the moment they met; close to him.
With that thought in mind, he wraps his hand around her face and pulls her closer. She complies, clicking her seatbelt free to move further towards Harry when he slips his tongue inside.
Their mouths move against each other like it's both the first time and the hundredth time they've done this. So familiar and yet it's like nothing he ever felt before. A sensation so different from three years ago, one so heavy and laced with a detail his brain can't quite seem to grasp. Deep down, he knows what it is, he just can't quite lay his finger on it.
But his body can, and it does, and so does Y/N's, because her grinding against him is exactly what he needs. His hand sneaks around her neck, lips curling into a smile at the familiarity of the curves of her neck and the identical moan that falls from her lips just as it did three years ago.
Harry groans when the car suddenly stops and Y/N falls forward a little bit, the friction against his trousers being a bit too much to bear at the moment. Slowly, the partition lowers, and without so much looking at them through the mirror, Richard speaks up.
"We've arrived."
Wrong. Harry clearly hasn't.
Before Harry can catch his breath, Y/N can get off his lap, and either one can even answer, the partition rises again. Immediately, Y/N throws her face into Harry's neck.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." She wheezes out in pure, utter shame. Harry shakes his head, a faint grin on his face. He would have been laughing his ass off if he wasn't so painfully hard right now. Instead, he only pats Y/N's back, telling her it's fine. She groans and opens the car door.
"No it's not! God, I will never be able to look him in the eye again!" She says, punching the bridge of her nose. Harry shuts the door and grabs Y/N's waist, pulling her towards him. She stumbles into his chest. He lifts her face with his fingers, forcing her to look up at him.
"You're going to have to, because I don't want to fire him." He jokes, and Y/N bites her lip to keep her smile from growing too wide. Not wanting to give Harry the satisfaction that he made her laugh, she looks to the side, but her face expression falls quickly.
"This is not my apartment." She notes, looking at the huge building next to her. "This is yours."
Harry nods.
"I can't be at your apartment, I have to—" Y/N stops herself before she can say more. But Harry already knew what she was going to say. Playfully, he raises a brow.
"You have to... what?"
"To... I have to—"
"Sneak out to that studio?" He finishes her sentence, and her eyes widen. She tries to regain herself but her cheeks are flushed and there is nothing she can do anymore. He's got her. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."
With that, he places a hand on her lower back and guides her towards his building. She stumbles a bit, but eventually catches onto the pace. But her body language is apprehensive, looking back at the road where Richard is standing. Or well, was standing. Harry ordered him to drive away as soon as they got out of the car.
Still, she turns around in a quick motion, trying to get to a cab. Harry's arm catches her, however, and he pulls her back against his chest. Along with his other hand, he turns her around, catching sight of her big eyes boring into his.
"Don't try me." He speaks slowly, dipping his head down until he finds himself inches away from Y/N. "You know what happens if you try me."
His voice is lower than before, having flipped a switch now that her mouth has been on his. He got a taste for the first time in years, he wasn't going to let her get away now. Y/N's breath hitches, eyes flicking down to his mouth.
Knowing he's got her right where he wants her, Harry pulls back and strolls toward the entrance of his apartment building. Soon enough, he hears those heels behind him and he smirks.
It's silent when they step in the elevator, and for the first few seconds, as Harry leans agains't the wall and observes his secretary, it stays that way. She eyes him a couple of times, her ears getting redder.
"What?" She breathes out, looking down at her body like there must be something wrong if he's looking at her for so long. He simply shrugs.
"Nothing. Just admiring you."
At that, Y/N vigorously shakes her head and crosses her arms. A soft scoff leaves her mouth, one she didn't think Harry would hear, but he did. He takes a few steps towards Y/N, inching her against the wall.
"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" He asks sincerely, searching for her eyes. When she finally looks up at him, the nervous smile on her face fades a bit.
Harry doesn't like that look on her face. Needing to fix it, he leans forward and plants his lips on hers again, grabbing her face and pulling her into him. It only takes a matter of seconds before her arms are wrapped around his neck and their bodies are impossibly close to each other again.
Tongues delving deeper into each other's mouth, Harry feels himself floating on some sort of feeling. Despite not being able to define it, he is absolutely positive that he doesn't ever want it to stop. And since kissing Y/N causes this specific feeling, the only feasible option is to never stop kissing her. It's the best plan he's had in ages.
It doesn't take long before the situation gets heated, much like it did before, and Harry's hands trail to Y/N's hips to pull her against him. Desperate for any sort of relief, Harry's hips automatically start to move, and Y/N immediately responds. His body feels like it's on fire, and he tries not to let out any sounds as his strained cock rubs against his tight pants.
Harry takes his lips off Y/N's mouth, peppering kisses to her jaw instead. Slowly, he works his way towards her ear, where he stops to whisper in her ear.
"I'm going to remind you how fucking beautiful you are." The hot breath that left his mouth had her shuddering against him, a slight whine escaping her lips. As he leaves sloppy kisses on Y/N's neck, Harry's free hand slowly travels under her shirt, finding her bra.
She gasps softly when his hand starts to massage her breast, the sensitivity of both spots leaving her hot and bothered under Harry. Fuck, she is so fucking stunning, how did she not see it herself?
Suddenly, the elevator stops, and the door opened. Taking a step back, Harry only winks at Y/N before he turns around and strolls out as if it's a casual Friday. As if he doesn't have his secretary, whom he left high and dry, trailing behind him like a lost puppy.
"Would you like something to drink?" He asks when they enter his home, Harry immediately going into the kitchen.
"Absinthe." Y/N breathes out, leaning over the kitchen island. Harry peeks inside his fridge.
"I only have white wine."
Y/N shrugs. "I'm sure it'll have the same effect if I just keep drinking."
Harry chuckles, grabbing the bottle of wine and placing it on the counter. He walks to a cabinet and takes two wine glasses out of it. Placing one in front of Y/N and the other in front of himself, he opens the bottle and starts pouring, not stopping until the glasses are halfway full. Y/N laughs at the ridiculously full wine glass that he pushes her way, but takes it gladly. He doesn't miss the way her breasts nearly spill out of her top as she leans forward a bit further than intended to in order to grab the glass.
"To the unexpected." She says it like it's a dare. Amused, Harry decides to entertain it, and nods his head.
"To the unexpected."
They raise the glasses before both taking a long sip. Y/N rests her arms on the table, giving a perfect view of her tits right in Harry's frame. She smirks when his eyes accidentally fall on it, and Harry's stomach swirls with excitement. She's trying to play.
"Crazy, how fast life can change, isn't it?" She asks rhetorically, and Harry just hums, waiting patiently for her to reveal what she's trying to do. "I mean, I got up today thinking I'd end the day in another man's bed."
There it is.
She's always been smart, and she knows how to push Harry's buttons. Though his fingers grip the kitchen counter tightly, so much that his knuckles turn white, Harry keeps the corners of his mouth lifted.
"And now you're here." He says, head tilting just a bit. She hums in agreement, taking another sip from her wine.
"Yeah, but just crazy to think that I went into the day thinking I'd hook up with someone else." She tells it so innocently, as if she's mostly talking to herself. Harry's jaw clenches as he stalks around the kitchen island and nears Y/N.
"But you're not, though." Harry notes, falling right into the trap. He knows what she's trying to do but he just can't help himself. He doesn't like the idea of her being with another man. He waits for her answer, hearing his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
"I know, but I could have—"
Before the sentence has entirely left Y/N's mouth, Harry's hand flies to her neck. The amused look on Y/N's face tells him enough, but he doesn't care.
"You're not. You're in my bed tonight, and any night after that as far as I'm concerned, so I don't want to hear another fucking word about it."
Her eyes twinkle with amusement as she stares up at him. "You really are jealous."
The corner of his mouth tilts upwards, "And you've gotten feisty over the years."
Y/N bites her bottom lip, humming in agreement to his observation. Harry lets out a soft chuckle, tightening the grip on her neck. Y/N gasps in surprise.
"But do you still like to be put in your place?" He asks, inching his face close to hers. The answer is written in her eyes, and yet Y/N doesn't respond. When it's clear that she won't anytime soon, Harry's free hand sneaks around the waist of her pants. She shivers at the touch.
"Well? Do you?" He repeats himself, and slowly but surely, Y/N nods her head. Harry lets out a disapproving noise. "That's not a proper answer."
Closing her eyes, Y/N lets out a deep breath. "Yes, I like to be put in my place."
"That's what I thought." Harry laughs, taking his hands off of her entirely. She frowns, but her eyes widen when he barks out a demand. "Take off your clothes."
He watches carefully as she follows his orders, and she clearly takes her time stripping down to her underwear. When she has, she looks to him for some sign of approval, but Harry just raises his brows. His hands are sunk into his pockets as Y/N lets out a little breath and takes off her bra and panties.
His eyes trail down her body, his cock hurting at the sight of her. God, she's beautiful. He feels like an absolute idiot for not having fought for her earlier, but he reminds himself that he can't change the past and that she is here now, stark naked in his kitchen. A grin spread across his face.
"Do you remember how you addressed me all those years ago?" He asks. It takes a few seconds before Y/N answers, but she gives him a firm nod.
"I called you sir."
Harry nods. "Rules haven't changed. Now, get on the counter."
Her eyes flick to the marble countertop, shock flashing through her eyes. "But Har—"
His right brow lifts ever so slightly. Catching the hint, Y/N stops herself before she can finish the sentence and hoists herself on to the cold countertop. It must not be very pleasant to lay your naked body on that freezing surface, but it was an uncomfortable temporary obstacle. The results would be great, and in about thirty seconds, she'd forget all about that cold touch against her skin.
Harry pulls out one of the bar stools and sat directly in front of Y/N. Spreading her legs apart, he catches sight of that perfect pussy he has been waiting three years to taste again. Like a starved man sat in front of a feast, the urge to dive right in is almost too strong to bear. But before he has her writhing under him, he wants to make her shiver.
"Can't believe it took us so long to get here." Harry hums, tracing his fingers up her thigh, carefully observing the way Y/N tries to control her breathing. Her fists are balled up into curls, attempting to send her concentration to anything else than Harry. He tries not to let his smugness show too much, but he has to say he likes seeing her struggle a bit. A bit of payback for trying to toy with him just now.
"You've always been stubborn." Y/N jokes, a gasp strangling out of her when Harry's fingers ghost over her clit. He chuckles, the tone of his voice so low that it could almost be considered evil.
"If I remember correctly, you're the one who wanted to forget about that Halloween night." He notes. Y/N hums.
"I also made the condition to act professionally, but we didn't do that either." Her eyes gaze into his, catching the fond smile with which he stares at her. A faint blush erupts on her cheeks.
"You drew the line." Harry retorted, and Y/N scoffed.
"You crossed it about a hundred times." She argues in response. He only hums, that cocky smirk on his face.
"I did, and consider this hundredth and first time to be the last, because I'm not getting behind that line again."
Y/N has never been so turned on her in her entire life. Harry’s words are the epitome of determination, and the way his fingers slip inside her so easily the second he finishes his sentence only solidifies that notion. The gasp that leaves her mouth is cut short and evolves into a low moan as Harry’s lips latch onto her clit.
Sensitive would be an understatement for her current state. She is aching, and the way Harry is ravishing her almost hurt. But any pain dwells in comparison to her desire she was overcome with at the situation she currently finds herself in. She is on Harry's kitchen counter, legs spread wide open and letting him do all the things that slipped into her dreams over the past three years.
Harry sucks in all the ways that made her squirm, moving his fingers with such ease that made it seem like he has fingered her a thousand times already. As if he knows her like the back of his hand, as if he knows all her secrets, even ones she doesn't know herself.
Y/N's hand buries itself in Harry's hair when he begins to kitten lick her clit, and she feels that inevitable climax inching closer and closer. She wonders how she had been able to keep herself composed for so long, because the high that creeps up on her feels like it was long overdue.
Unfortunately, the sensation comes to a grinding halt when Harry backs away from Y/N. Her head shoots up, and finds him leaning over her body, wearing boyish half-smile that is now glimmering with her juices.
Wrapping one arm around her waist and the other one under her legs, he picks her up bridal style. She holds onto his shoulders, burying her face into his neck as he carried her to his bedroom. When she begins unbuttoning his shirt, he throws her on his bed. She lets out a soft yelp, bouncing onto the bed.
"So greedy..." Harry tuts in disapproval, but Y/N doesn't quite care. She wants him, bad, and now that she's had a preview of what's to come she doesn't want to wait any longer. She needs him and she needs that orgasm.
She pulls him closer by his pants and starts to unbuckle his belt. "You're taking too long."
Y/N is about halfway done when Harry's firm hand wraps around her neck and pulls her closer to his face. Inching down, he growls: "You'll take what I give you."
"Then give me something." She spits back, and Harry's eyes turn five shades darker at her invitation to a challenge. He slowly leans back, Y/N watching his every movement in anticipation.
"On your stomach."
Y/N stomach swirls at the command, and she obeys as quick as she can. It stays silent for a little bit, and she awaits his further actions eagerly.
"Hands behind your back."
Again, she does what he says. Y/N doesn't dare to turn her head as she hears Harry walking around his room. When she feels a silky material around her wrists, she knows enough. He's tying her up.
Knowing better than to do otherwise, Y/N keeps her mouth shuts as Harry makes an impenetrable knot with his tie. She moves her wrists, assessing how tight it really is, and gets interrupted by a punishing slap on her ass. The sting remains for a couple of seconds, and she is sure there is now a red print the size of Harry's hand on her right cheek.
"Ass up." He barks out his final order, no doubt smirking as she changes her position, slightly struggling now that her arms are of no use.
Y/N bites her lip in anticipation when Harry's hand grabs onto her hips, steadying himself behind her. She slightly flinches forward when the tip of his cock teases her entrance, and attempts to speed up the process by leaning backwards a bit. She's rewarded with another slap on her ass.
But then Harry finally sinks in, and that dreadful itch that plagued Y/N for such a long time is finally scratched, over and over again as he begins to pound into her with long, slow strokes.
"Fucking hell..." Harry murmurs, his cock suctioning into Y/N's tight, clenching pussy. He is so big, and it bruises her in all the right ways.
"Oh baby... thaaat's it." He groans when Y/N begins to bounce back on his cock, aiming to get it even deeper inside of her. She is ruthless in her movements, groaning at the overwhelming sensations. When Harry gropes her ass— and his nails bite into her skin—she loses control.
Burying her face into the mattress, Y/N screams as she reaches her peak. The sound of Harry's moans at her pussy convulsing around his cock only strengthens her orgasm. Her mind goes entirely blank as the shattering release ripples through her like an earthquake. The only thing she can think of is Harry's name, and it's the only thing she cries out as the dizzying explosion settles all over her body.
"You really are desperate, aren't you?" Harry sneers as he pulls his cock out of Y/N, letting go of her hips. She nearly falls over, her tied up hands making it difficult to catch herself. This orgasm was so intense, she could feel the three years of pent up tension as it washed over her. Her cheeks are burning red and her teary eyes makes her vision somewhat blurry.
Y/N is thrown off when Harry suddenly turns her around and she finds herself lying on her back. The way he towers over her would have been intimidating had it not been extremely hot.
"Came on my cock so fast..." he mumbles cockily, corner of his mouth pulled up like the arrogant bastard he is. "Such a slut for it."
Y/N wants to give him some snappy comeback, but her brain is still fried from the orgasm and she's always liked to be degraded in bed, so she decides to only glare at Harry while he speaks. He catches it, and his grin only widens.
"You know it's true, baby." He tells her, bringing your legs over each of his shoulders. That deviant smirk is the last thing Y/N sees before her eyes roll into the back of her head at the feeling of Harry's cock stretching her out again.
He leans forward, almost folding her in two, and reaches deeper. He stays there for a few seconds—as if he is catching his breath—then slowly backs out of her before slamming right back in. Y/N lets out a screech that, if it hadn't been for the desperation laced in its tone, would've sounded like someone was trying to murder her.
Trying to keep her own moans at a minimum, Y/N closes her eyes and listens to the harsh slaps of Harry's skin against hers, and the groans that escape his mouth with each thrust. The strength behind each movement makes her clench around Harry, who in turn hisses her name as if it were a curse word. It only causes her to clench more.
"Fuck, such a pretty little whore." Harry praises as he drives into her. Y/N can only whine, her tits bouncing uncontrollably at the impact of his motions. She must look fucking helpless. Opening her eyes, she catches the way Harry looks at her; like she's a dream. Like she's his dream.
"My pretty little whore." He growls, leaning back and holding one of her legs with his arm while the other reaches for her breasts.
"Yes..." Y/N breathes as he begins squeezing her breasts, getting lost in the sensations of him. Somehow it feels like Harry is everywhere. As if he has latched onto a part of her soul and she feels him coming to claim that every time his cock sinks into her.
"Such a tight fucking fit." He groans, taking her nipple between his fingers. "You should see how perfectly your pussy sucks in every inch of my cock..."
Y/N bites her lip as Harry talks, trying not too get too overwhelmed by the filthy things he's telling her as he plunges in and out of her. Her eyes catch the flex of his muscles that occur with every thrust, and she wonders how she got a man so perfect to fuck her stupid like this.
"Should record it... make a little video for just the two of us. What do you think?"
Oh my god.
"Don't you want to see how perfect we fit together?" He taunts, thrusting his hips harsher than before, hitting a spot that had been untouched for quite a while now. Y/N's face scrunches up.
"F—fuck! Yes, yes..." She responds when Harry stills inside of her to await an answer. He chuckles at the apparent hurry in her voice and reaches for—what Y/N assumes to be—his phone, on the bed. His motions are slow and soft, determined to keep Y/N satisfied at least a bit while he logs into his phone and searches for the camera app. She notices the start of his recording by the sudden change of pace and force of his movements.
His camera is pointed right at her pussy as he begins thrusting deep inside of her, and Y/N screams out Harry's name. The concentration on his face as he captures how she takes him proves too much to bear, and she shuts her eyes tightly, head flopping to the side.
She can hear his ragged breathing over all the other sounds that their bodies are making. The small grunts he makes in an effort not to moan too loudly is all she can focus on, and the tension in her belly grows exponentially with each vibrations of his voice that reaches her ears.
Harry slows his pace, putting more emphasis on the impact of his moves. It allows him to bring his free hand down to touch Y/N's clit. Her legs begin to shake the second he does.
"Are you gonna come again for me? I'm so close, baby. I can tell you are too." The softness in the delivery of his words have Y/N's ovaries rattle. She can only nod, a whine that was an attempt at a 'yes' falling from her rosy lips. Harry grins, his eyes flicking from his phone to her face. Everything feels so hazy, much like a daydream.
"Please don't stop." She squeals in such a high pitch that surprises even herself. Y/N had no idea she could go that high. Harry's bringing out an entirely new side of her.
"I'll never stop, baby." Harry rasps, pressing down on her clit in such a way that Y/N becomes cross-eyed for a second. Her nails grip into the bedsheets, the second release rippling through her like a hurricane. She never quite understood the word bliss, until now. This must be it; this feeling of... pure ecstasy.
Like a blank canvas splattered on with all the bright colors that exist in the world; fresh and exciting and psychedelic in a way. Impossible to define yet such a specific feeling. Y/N let all of it tingle from her head down to her toes, wanting to remember it forever.
The continuous pounding Y/N through her orgasm comes to a grinding halt when Harry reaches his own, pulling out just in time for his sperm to coat her puffy clit and swollen tits. His camera is focused on her frame, recording every spurt that paints her. She's the canvas, he's the colors, Y/N realizes. Harry is her definition of bliss.
The words shared between the two are scarce as Harry unties Y/N's hands, picks her up and carries her to the bathroom to clean her up. But the smiles on their faces says enough, both knowing what they feel is rare, and beautiful. Y/N assesses Harry's face, concluding that the soft edges of it makes him look like a proper angel.
When he's dressed her in one of his shirts, he takes her back to the bedroom, where he pulls her against his frame. Y/N wraps one leg around his torso, hugging him from the side with her head buried into his neck. The way his chest rises and lowers fills her with pure ease, and she leaves a few soft kisses in his neck as a silent thank you. Harry only hums in satisfaction, his arm only tightening around you, as if he's afraid you might let go.
"I'm never gonna let you go now." You tell him before you can even fully comprehend your words. Your heart starts racing, afraid that might've been too soon to say.
"Promise?"
Your racing heart is now melting as you turn your head and see Harry holding up his pinky. You are quick to interlock it with your own.
"Promise." You say with a smile.
General taglist: @mema10
#harry styles#writing#fanfic#fanfiction#harry#blurb#one direction#one shot#smut#excerpt#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry edward styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harryedwardstyles#harry fanfic
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🦢 flaws and all
fluff, f!civilian, suggestive in second part, 1 + 2
( spending your days with him. )
Jason had just finished up patrol, he had been satisfied with his work but when he was about to head back the rain began to pour. Jason stood in the dim alleyway, the rain pouring down around him. He let out a frustrated sigh, knowing that he was in for a long, wet walk back to your apartment.
He cursed under his breath, his gaze flickering over the rooftops that seemed more slippery than usual with the rain.
Jason stood by the window your, the soaked bottoms of his boots leaving a damp trail on the floor as he shut the window behind him. Shaking off the excess water from his clothing, he took a moment to catch his breath.
Once the initial wave of cold and shivers had passed, he sighed and scanned the apartment for any possible damage. He noticed the drops of water that had leaked onto the floor, so he grabbed the mop that was leaning on a corner and began mopping the wet spots.
Jason walked toward your bedroom as quietly as possible, trying not to wake you up. Once inside, he closed the door behind him and began to strip off his damp and now heavy clothes, letting them drop to the floor with a soft thud.
He reached into the bottom drawer of your dresser, where he had stashed a change of clothes for nights like this. He rummaged through and found some comfortable sweats and a t-shirt, quickly putting them on.
Jason heard the loud thunder rumble outside, the sound cutting through the silence of the night. He winced, his heightened senses making the sound even more pronounced in his ears.
He paused for a moment, his eyes drifting towards the window. The rain continued to pour, the raindrops tapping against the glass in an almost rhythmic pattern.
He could hear shifting in the sheets, Jason turned his attention back into the room, his eyes locking onto the bed. He hadn't expected you to be awake, "You awake?" he asked.
“Yeah.” you softly answered, pulling the sheets closer. Jason felt a pang of guilt as you spoke, realizing that he must have disturbed your sleep. He stepped closer to the bed, his feet not making a sound on the floorboards.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, "I didn't mean to wake you." you shook your head, “It’s not you.” you replied.
Jason frowned, not quite believing your words.
"Then what is it?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to you. The mattress dipped slightly under his weight, but he tried not to disturb you. Jason was silent for a moment, listening to the sound of the thunder outside. Then it clicked in his mind. He knew that you had some issues with storms, and he was mentally berating himself for not thinking of it sooner
He sighed, his hand hesitantly reaching for your shoulder under the covers. He moved closer to you, his touch gentle as he squeezed your shoulder in a comforting gesture.
"It's just a storm," he murmured, his voice low and steady. "It'll pass soon."
“I know..” you said, Jason was aware that you knew that the storm would pass. He knew you were probably just trying to convince yourself of that. But he also knew that it didn't make it any less frightening. He hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "You want company?" he asked.
Jason felt a small sense of relief when you nodded, with a small sigh, he moved to the other side of the bed and slowly laid down next to you. As Jason settled onto the bed, he turned his gaze onto you. Your body was concealed under the blankets, revealing only your face and a portion of your hair.
Your eyes met his, and his attention was drawn to the pillow you were clutching. He remained silent for a moment, then spoke in a soft yet steady voice.
"Come here," he murmured, his hand motioning for you to move closer to him. Jason patted the spot on the mattress next to him, silently inviting you to move closer. He knew that sometimes, being held could help provide a sense of comfort and security during a storm.
Jason felt your arm wrap around his waist, pulling yourself against his body. He let out a soft exhale, welcoming your touch. He moved his own arm to drape around your shoulders, gently pulling you closer as he tried to provide some comfort through his presence.
You sighed against him as you laid your head on his chest, “Thanks Jay.” you murmured. A storm with him around made it more tolerable. He could feel your breath, against his skin. He swallowed, his throat feeling unusually dry as he responded, "Mhm."
Your word of thanks resonated with him. He knew you found comfort in his presence, and it made him feel relieved. He tightened his hold on you slightly, his fingers unconsciously tracing patterns on your back as he spoke in a hushed tone.
"You don't need to thank me," he muttered, "Just... let me do this for you." he paused for a moment, his voice soft yet firm as he continued, "Just let me be here for you, okay?" you nodded, “Okay.” you whispered back.
He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering for a few seconds longer than necessary. He found it ironic, really, how the most dangerous and feared vigilante in Gotham could be reduced to a soft person in the presence of one person.
“You make me feel stuff.” he said. Jason's gaze met yours as you looked up at him. “Is it bad?” you asked. "No, it's not bad." He reached up to gently cup your face, his calloused fingers caressing your skin. "It's just... new." he admitted, his voice a deep and gruff whisper.
"I've never... felt like this before." he continued, his fingers tracing your jawline. "With anyone." He paused for a moment, his eyes searching yours as if trying to convey the depth of what he was feeling. You softly scoffed, “It can’t be just me, there must be someone else.” you replied.
Jason let out a low huff, shaking his head slightly. "Trust me." he said, his fingers still gently tracing your skin. "There's nobody else." He paused again, his gaze not wavering from yours. "It's just you, and the things you do to me." You looked down, doubting him “Are you sure it’s me?” you asked.
Jason frowned at your question, his grip on your face firm but gentle.
"What makes you say that?" he asked, as he tilted your head up, wanting you to look at him. “Just..” your eyes darted away, “I’m usually just second choice you know?”
He shook his head, his grip on your face tightening just a fraction. "No." he said firmly, his voice low and fierce. "Not with me."
He paused for a moment before continuing, his tone softening but still firm. "You are not a second choice. Not to me." you flushed as your eyes softened, “You really mean it don’t you?” Jason leaned in, his face just a few inches away from yours. He held your gaze, his eyes boring into yours.
"Yes." he said firmly, no trace of doubt or hesitation in his voice. "I mean it. You are not second choice. You are the only choice." He let go of your face, but instead of pulling away, his hand moved down to take yours under the covers, his fingers intertwined with yours.
Your hands shook a bit as you felt a lump in your throat, “I..” Jason noticed the slight tremble in your hand and the way your voice cracked. He could see the emotion in your eyes and wanted nothing more than to reassure you.
He brought your intertwined hands up, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your hand before lowering them again. "You don't have to say anything." he murmured. He shifted his body slightly, pulling you closer to his chest as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. With his free hand, he reached down and pulled the covers back up to your shoulders, cocooning the two of you in warmth and comfort.
The storm continued to rage outside, the rain still beating mercilessly against the roof and windows. But trapped in Jason's embrace, wrapped in the coziness of the covers, you felt a newfound sense of safety and reassurance.
“I love you.” you murmured. Jason felt his heart skip a beat as the words left your lips. He held you a bit tighter in response, his arms wrapping around you like a protective shield. His gruff voice was softer than usual as he murmured, "I love you too."
Jason slowly stirred awake, his eyes blinking open as he felt the warmth of your bare back against his chest. He let out a low sigh, still half-asleep but slowly becoming aware of his surroundings.
He felt your legs intertwined with his and the familiar scent of your skin filling his senses. The morning light streamed in through the window, casting a soft glow into the room. Still drowsy, he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you a little closer to him and nuzzling his face into your neck.
The feeling of your soft skin against his chest was comforting, and the warmth of your body against his brought a sense of peace. Jason let out a low, contented sigh as he gently nuzzled your neck again, his lips brushing against your skin in a light, affectionate kiss.
You hummed, “I’m awake you know.” you murmured with a little chuckle
Jason felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him as he heard you speak. He pulled his face away from your neck, slightly flustered at being caught. He mumbled into your ear, "Thought you were sleepin'."
Jason shifted slightly behind you, pressing his body a bit closer. He pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder before mumbling again, his voice slightly muffled against your skin, "Why you up so early?"
“The light woke me up.” you yawned, scratching your eye. Jason hummed in understanding, his cheek resting against your shoulder as he held you close. "Guess the sun had to ruin it." he grumbled, his arm giving your waist a gentle squeeze.
You then faced him, “Last night was nice.” Jason met your gaze as you turned to face him. He nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, it was." he replied, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your hip.
Jason's eyes searched yours for a moment before he leaned in and gave you a slow, lingering kiss. The touch was soft and affectionate, his lips moving against yours with a gentle pressure.
He pulled away after a few moments, his gaze remaining on your face as he studied your expression. His thumb traced small circles on the bare skin of your waist, the gesture comforting and subtle.
You chuckled, “You’ve gotten sappy.” Jason rolled his eyes, a hint of embarrassment showing on his face. "Whatever." he muttered. Jason was still not used to waking up next to someone else, the warmth of your body and the softness of your skin a new and slightly unfamiliar sensation.
Your eyes trail to the numerous scars from his body, all from his past battles and patrols. You knew that he was self-conscious every time you looked at them. Jason tensed ever so slightly as he noticed your gaze on his scars. Despite his tough exterior and stoic demeanor, he was still self-conscious of his body and the scars that marked his skin.
He shifted slightly, a subtle movement intended to distract you from the imperfections on his body. Jason's eyes searched your face, trying to gauge your reaction. He knew you had seen the scars on his body, and he had no doubt you'd seen his visible discomfort with them. But he also knew you never asked about them, never pressed for explanations of how he got them.
Jason felt your touch on the small scar on his shoulder, your fingers tracing it gently. He let out a soft sigh, his eyes fixed on yours as he allowed you to caress the mark.
His body relaxed, though he still felt a bit uneasy with the attention on his scars. Your hand continued to explore his scars, there were long and small ones, some stitched and some burnt, Though you never flinched or reacted in disgust.
You then looked back at his face, searching for his eyes “Are you okay?” you asked, in case he Jason met your gaze, his features softened by the concern in your eyes. He took a moment before answering, his voice low and gruff.
"I'm fine." he said, his arm around your waist tightening its grip ever so slightly, as if reassuring himself of your presence.
He swallowed and shifted a bit, his eyes flickering down to your hand, still tracing his scars. was uncomfortable. “Should I stop?” you continued to ask. Jason sighed, his gaze darting between your face and your hand tracing his scars. A part of him didn't want you to stop, your touch was comforting and reassuring, but another part feared the memories that could be stirred by it.
"Do what you want," he murmured, “Well I want what you want.” you replied. He swallowed, his throat feeling dry as he struggled to find the right words.
"I want your touch." he admitted, his voice husky. "But sometimes it brings back bad memories." Your hand moved away, “So should I stop?” Jason felt a pang of disappointment as your hand moved away from his scars, the absence of your touch leaving a cold, empty feeling on his chest.
He shook his head slightly, his eyes meeting yours again.
"No." he said gruffly. "I don't want you to stop." He paused before continuing, "Just don't... don't pity me." You shook your head, “I won’t.” your hand then trails to the scars on his chest.
As you saw a particularly large one, you moved down and placed a kiss. He swallowed, his chest rising and falling slowly as he felt the weight of your gesture, the way you accepted and accepted his scars without a second thought.
His hand moved to your hair, gently brushing through the soft strands, a silent thank you for your understanding. “Let’s dress up and eat breakfast.” you murmured in his chest.
Jason chuckled softly, a hint of relief in his voice. He knew you were changing the subject on purpose, giving him a chance to compose himself. "Yeah, sounds good." he agreed, his hand gently rubbing your back before pulling away from your embrace.
He started to sit up, grabbing the discarded clothes from the night before.
You sat on the floor, surrounded by your record collection, scanning through the albums with a growing sense of boredom. You had listened to all of them repeatedly, and the thought of playing them again was no longer appealing.
You let out a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of the boredom settling over you. Just as your eyes lingered on a record you had played a dozen times, the sound of a deep throat being cleared, made your head turn towards Jason.
He watched you for a moment, his eyes trailing over the record collection spread out around you. "You're gonna pick one already? It’s been a while." he asked, his eyebrow raised slightly.
You huffed to yourself as you placed a hand on your cheek, “I’m pretty bored of these, they’re good but I’m tired of listening to it repeatedly.” Jason’s expression softened slightly, seeing the boredom etched on your face. He walked over, standing over you as you sat on the floor.
He looked at the spread of records, then back at you.
"Didn’t know you could even get tired of music," he said with a hint of a smirk. You smiled up at him, “Well, it happens to me too.”
You sighed, shaking your head “More than 30 bucks for a vinyl? I don’t have the money for that..” you frowned as you picked up your records. Jason knew you loved physical media, but you were right. New records were expensive, especially ones you liked.
Jason studied the records you were holding, taking in the names and artists. He paused for a moment, thinking before speaking again. "I’ll get you albums.” You only scoffed in reply, “Where do you even get your money?”
Jason raised an eyebrow at your scoff, a playful smirk forming on his face. "Where do you think I get it?" he asked, his voice tinted with a hint of amusement.
You darted your eyes away pondering, if he was a vigilante… does he get his money from the government? “GCPD…?” you answered cautiously.
"GCPD?" he repeated, snorting. "You think I get money from the *GCPD?"* You looked away embarrassingly as you stocked your records on the shelves. Jason’s smirk widened at your embarrassed expression, enjoying the way you avoided his gaze.
He leaned against the shelf, his arms crossed as he watched you organize the records. "C’mon," he teased, his voice filled with playful mockery. "Guess again." You huffed, “I don’t know, tell me.” Jason pushed himself off the shelf, standing upright as he spoke.
"I spend Bruce’s bank account, or I steal a few stuff from thieves I caught.” Jason gave a shrug, as if the thought of swiping money from a billionaire was the most normal thing in the world.
You raised your brow, “Money from Bruce?”
"Yeah, Bruce has a lot more money than one person could spend in a lifetime. He won’t even notice if I grab a few bucks."
You thought for a moment, “Well, I mean.. that is true.” Jason nodded in agreement, his smirk returning slightly.
"See? It’s a no-brainer. Why not use it when it’s there for the taking?" his hand touches your shoulder “Come on, why don’t I buy those record albums for you tomorrow?” You raised an eyebrow in surprise. Jason was actually offering to buy you records, and you had to admit, the idea did sound appealing.
"Really? You would do that?" you asked, your curiosity piqued. Jason shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Why not? They make you happy, don’t they?” You felt a warmth spread through you at his words. The idea that Jason was willing to spend money on something that simply brought you joy was oddly comforting.
You nodded, a small smile on your lips. "They do, yeah.” Jason saw the smile on your face, and his expression softened. He gave your shoulder a slight squeeze with his hand, his grip gentle. “Then I’ll take you record shopping tomorrow."
When Jason took you to the record store, you looked like a kid getting its gift for Christmas. He was amused by the look of excitement on your face as you scanned the records, your eyes scanning each album with childlike wonder.
He followed you around, watching as you picked up records of your favorite artists, and sometimes stopping to show him one that particularly caught your interest.
He couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm. You looked like a kid at Christmas, and the way you handled each album with such care and reverence was almost endearing.
After that, you and Jason finally made it back to your apartment, clutching several bags filled with your newly purchased records. You wasted no time in setting them down on the coffee table in the living room, eager to go through each one and see which one you wanted to listen to first.
“This is what I call mid-year christmas.” you mused with a smile. Jason scoffs, "Mid-year Christmas, huh?" he said. "I guess that’s one way to put it." Jason rested his hand on his chin, watching as you flipped through your new albums, a small smile on his lips.
For a brief moment, he could forget about the world around them, the troubles and dangers that loomed in the background. For a little while, he could simply enjoy the sight of you being happy, with the music you so adored.
You stood up and carefully placed one of the vinyl records onto the turntable, the soft click as it settled into place filling the air. Jason leaned back on the couch, his eyes still fixed on you, as you gently lifted the needle and placed it on the record, starting the music.
Jason stood up alongside you, his hand reaching out to take yours.
He looked down at your face for a moment before pulling you closer, his other hand finding your waist. He began to move with the rhythm of the music, slowly dancing with you in the living room. The room felt warm and intimate as you swayed to the music in Jason’s arms. He held you close, his hand resting on your waist as he led you in a slow, gentle dance.
The music played on in the background, the notes and lyrics filling the silence between you as you moved in each other’s embrace. “Did you agree to buy me records just to dance?” you chuckled.
“Maybe. You’re not complaining, are you?” he replied as he held your hand tighter, “But no.” he said. You tilted your head in response as Jason leaned closer to you, "Maybe I just like seeing you happy," he admitted.
You could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin as he spoke, his words making you feel tingly all over. You hadn't expected such a sincere answer from him, and it filled you with a sense of warmth.
"That's sweet." you murmured, a smile playing across your lips. "Just a little." he grumbled, his eyes locked on your face. “Sure.” you said, leaning your cheek on his chest.
He tightened his grip on your waist, pulling you just a little closer as he continued to dance with you.
🐇 Merry Christmas!
#౨ৎ blythe’s fics#dc x reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd x reader oneshots#jason todd#jason todd oneshots#jason todd fluff#jason todd x y/n#jason todd imagines#jason todd x oc#jason todd headcanons#jason todd dc#red hood x reader oneshots#red hood x oc#red hood x reader#red hood dc#red hood
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The villain’s stare bored itself into the hero relentlessly and the hero felt - as so often - the crushing weight growing heavier. If it wasn’t for the villain, they’d be dead.
“I don’t know,” the hero whispered. Their voice was hoarse, completely breaking apart. “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t ask for an apology, I asked for an explanation.” The villain wiped some dust off their clothes and took in a deep breath. Unlike the hero, they were untouched, perfectly healthy. However, also in a scarily bad mood.
Usually, the villain wasn’t as serious as they should have been. So, this was surprising. The villain had never saved the hero.
“I don’t know,” the hero repeated. They put their head in their hands, grabbed the roots of their hair. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know.”
“Think, then.”
The hero looked up.
“I feel like I’m at a point in my life where…where I’m standing still. I can’t go forward. And if I do move, I go backwards and then, I come back to the same point. I…I don’t know what I was thinking, I knew this mission would be dangerous. I didn’t know it would be suicide. I’m, fuck, I’m…I’m stupid.”
The villain’s brows furrowed.
“Alright, enough.” They raised a hand as if to silence the hero. “Your personal problems don’t concern me, but I can’t save you every time you’re in trouble. Ruins my reputation.”
“I’m not asking you to save me.”
“It’s not much of a choice when you look at me like a sad puppy.” The villain sighed and kneeled in front of them. “You dying would kind of ruin my day, so I’m trying to avoid that.”
The hero buried their face in their hands, squeezing their eyes shut until they saw stars. They were aware that something was wrong with them. Admittedly, they didn't know if they had always been broken, or if this had developed during the last months of saving people.
Somewhere within the hero, they knew this part of them, this unlovable part they were so ashamed of, this sick and weak part that made them crumble and decay, destroyed them from the inside out. Often the hero imagined it was a tumor they could cut out of their flesh, they wouldn't even care if they'd hit bone with the blade. But it was etched into their soul and that could barely be fixed.
A sweet relationship that had turned incredibly bitter, a friend dying in front of them, their noble view of the world changing radically - all of it had tainted the hero in a way words could barely describe.
The hero didn't feel like they could see colors anymore, their taste was dull, they had become lazy. And in their mind, they were the most undesirable, most pathetic, most detestable person in the entire world.
They felt the tears, the usual stinging in their nose and eyes.
"You do know that I don't have to save you, right?" the villain asked.
"Yeah," the hero said, wiping tears away. "I get it. I'm grateful for your kindness. I'll repay you somehow."
"That's not exactly what I meant," the villain said. "I meant that you're perfectly capable of saving yourself."
They bit their bottom lip.
"I get it, some days suck. Some weeks suck. Some months suck. But someone as competent as you cannot be this reckless. Do you think you're unable to overcome what you're dealing with? You out of all people?" The villain tilted their head and let out a long sigh. "If I was cruel, I'd tell you to join me because I can make your life better. But sadly, I don't have all the answers either. And I want you to truly believe in my goals and understand me as a person."
Their eyes fixed on the hero's lips but they looked away quickly.
"Just do me a favor and don't get killed," they said. The hero closed their eyes and took in a deep and shaky breath.
"I will try."
"Good." They felt the villain's fingertips brush their arm, but when they opened their eyes, they were alone.
#writing snippet#heroxvillain snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroes and villains#hero#villain#hero x villain#heroxvillain
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Hello Sleepy, I hope you’re doing well! This isn’t much of an ask but more of a little gift. I am amazed by your work and the creativity behind your characters, along with the storylines! I hope I am not crossing any boundaries when I say I have drawn your OC Jade. The twist? She met my character (which I’m still working on) in a comic I made for you! I have no intentions on changing your characters storyline or taking any credit of Jade; if I crossed a line or did anything wrong I apologize IMMENSELY.
The comic takes place in London outside Jades florist shop. This is when our characters are on the civilian side and off duty. There was an accident outside of the building and after a long terrible month for Soot (my characters nickname until I finish her biography), she happens to witness the accident. She acts on instinct and adrenaline, leaping right into action to help the victim.
As she addresses the man like routine she hears a voice, it’s a woman. Particularly, it’s Jade who had heard the commotion and investigated. I’d like to think with Jades background and her kind heart she doesn’t hesitate to give a helping hand where it’s needed. Until proper Responders arrived on scene, Soot and Jade were able to help save this man’s life.
Now although the very lazy sketch of a comic I scribbled, I did draw a flat colored picture. This takes place after the accident. Soot, with the routine down to a T, takes the ambulance back to the hospital with the man. She doesn’t interfere with the medical professionals, she’s been there done that, Soot just wants to be there for the patient and for the family when they eventually arrive to the hospital. To answer any questions and possibly provide comfort.
Now PLEASE correct me if I am wrong, I took a wild chance at this— Jade also goes to the hospital, but on her own. She wanted the same thing Soot did, to be there for the family and provide any comfort/closure if possible. It’s rare that this occurrence even happened ecspecially with it right outside her Floral Shop.
As Jade waits in the waiting room patiently for what seems like two hours, she is approached out of nowhere by a familiar figure. The woman she voluntarily gave her helping hands too. As observant as Jade is, she recognizes an exhausted look on this lady’s face that was clearly built over the course of years.
“Thank you,” is gently whispered by Soot to Jade, standing quiet and tired in front of her. They don’t know each other, maybe they eventually will or maybe they won’t. But they worked together like they had known one another forever.
First Encounter:
Again, I hope I did not cross any boundaries. I have no intentions on taking, altering or changing your OC and her storyline! All credit goes to you. I also hope I drew Jade correctly, I read her favorite color is lilac so I included that— braids are so hard to draw help :,)
Anyways, Thank you for your amazing content and keep up the hard work! You are extraordinarily talented at what you do, you should be proud🫶
(sorry for any typos)
WAITTT WAIT WAIT
THIS IS SPECTACULAR, GIVE ME 14 OF THEM RIGHT NYEOW!!!
THE COMIC?? THE ART?? HELP?? Jade would totally do this! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!! You got it perfectly!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to make this art!! 😭This is such an amazing gift!
#screaming rn#AAAAAAA#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty oc#original character#charlotte jade le jardin#oc: soot#comic#gifts from friends
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Never Leave Me Again
My eyes fluttered open after what felt like ages. After a moment of blurriness, I tried to make sense of my surroundings.
I found myself lying on the floor of the sitting room of 221 B Baker Street.
I must have fainted before.
Holmes was on his knees, towering over me from the left side.
Holmes. Mr Sherlock Holmes. My friend, my intimate companion, the only consulting detective in the world. The man the entire world thought to be dead.
Apparently, even death did not have a chance against him -- such was the power of my Holmes.
"Watson, my boy! Are you all right? You scared me to death for a good minute."
Something about his words ignited a fire in my heart. I clenched my fists in anger and frustration.
"Here I thought you were dead." I braced myself against the floor to be able to sit up. I grunted as I finally sat up straight.
Holmes looked down in embarrassment.
"Scared you to death, Holmes? Do you have any idea what I went through for these three years?" My eyes were welling up with tears.
I bent forwards to grasp his shoulder. Flesh and bones. I used my other hand to squeeze his shoulder properly, just to confirm that he was really there.
Holmes flinched in fear when I squeezed his shoulder. Did he really expect that I was going to beat him? It broke my heart to think he would even consider that a possibility.
"A thousand apologies, my dear Watson. I did not think you would be so affected."
"Why did you not? Did it not occur to you that you were my closest friend?"
"Of course, it did." Holmes' brow was furrowed. "I can assure you that you were not the only one who suffered all this time. I just thought that you would have moved on by now."
I moved a bit on the floor and wrapped my arms around Holmes to pull him in for an embrace. Holmes' arms were around my back now.
"Never." I swallowed hard. "I could never. Why would I even be here at Baker Street right now? I used to come here so many times a month, sometimes even daily, hoping you would come out of nowhere in front of me. I'm aware this was rather lunatic on my part. I could not help myself."
"You cannot imagine how many times I made up my mind and almost sent you a letter to inform you about my whereabouts. That would have been seriously lunatic of me, given how the situation related to Moriarty's network was at that time."
I gently held his head in my hand and pulled him closer. "You did not have to go through all that alone. I was right there with you that day. I always will be there with you."
"I know that, and I trust you deeply. I would never have forgiven myself, though, if something had happened to you because of me, or because of you being with me. I had to be alone."
I was not satisfied with his answer, but I decided to let it go for now.
We kept holding each other like this for a long moment.
"I am sorry."
I nodded in my reply. "How did you do it? There was no escape from the Reichenbach falls."
"I am exhausted right now, dear fellow. May I tell you about it later? I shall tell you the complete facts of the incidents over dinner."
My heart fluttered with joy at the sound of dinner together. I smiled and nodded as I let him go. "Promise me that you shall never leave me again."
Holmes took my hand in his own. "I will never leave you again. Now it's your turn to promise me something."
"What is it?" I asked, getting up from the floor to stand straight. Holmes did the same, and we were now facing each other.
"Move back in." His grey eyes were filled with hope.
"I will." His wish was my command. Always.
Holmes turned around and went to his old bedchamber.
I waited for him to disappear, and then I walked across the sitting room to look out of the window -- thinking about new beginnings with a broad smile on my face.
**
Prompt: Forgiveness by @fluff-cember
Tags: @lisbeth-kk @helloliriels @jamielovesjam @calaisreno @keirgreeneyes @totallysilvergirl @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @gaylilsherlock , etc.
#john watson#sherlock holmes#fandom: acd canon#fluffcember 2024#fluffcember#prompt: forgiveness#holmes x watson#holmes/watson#acd canon#fanfic#ficlet#my works#my writing#new ficlet#fluff#angst#awkward and long conversations#post reichenbach#reconciliation#reunion#sentimental#canon rewrite#sort of
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Sorry, I failed to espress myself again. I was answering you but I was not trying to change your mind, just showing how I looked at things.
What I take issue with is the suggestion that readers who approach this story under a romantic lens would be distorting it into something it isn’t, which is what your original post appeared to suggest.
I didn’t say that tho. I made the new post to answer you on this and I am sorry I failed to clarify. I did say that the novel Lolita has been distorted into something else. And that made me think that with Saezuru we can have entirly different frames in mind as well. When talking about Saezuru I was then pointing at the arguments about consent because again, I am not trying to convince you to change your mind: the more you romanticize Doumeki’s intentions and problematicize Yashiro’s previous choices, the more you are shifting the scrutiny on the person who was at the bottom in that scene and who was asking to stop to the person who had taken charge. Stigmatization of Yashiro’s sexual past is the same as victim blaming. Without the romantic lens on, sex isn’t more morally acceptable if it’s gentle and the parts involved love each other, and if consent was revoked then it isn’t right in any case.
Frankly, I’m confused about why me holding the opinion that there is a lot of ambiguity about Yashiro’s consent in those chapters seems to be such a point of contention. I never argued that Yashiro gave any clear consent, nor that he has no right to object, I’m sorry but if that’s what you think that’s purely an assumption you’re making.
Please, don’t take it personally. I am purely looking at the arguments in the debate, not at who made them. I’m questioning the approach of analyzing in depth Yashiro and bringing all the attention to him instead of Doumeki in this case. That’s why I was talking about victim blaming: why you consider Yashiro a victim of his father first and of himself after, but you don’t consider him victimized by Doumeki too, which some of us do. Using Yashiro’s trauma or his past as arguments or putting responsability on him because he came on Doumeki first is taking away attention from Doumeki’s responsibilities and I don’t agree with that.
I like Saezuru because I like that Yashiro, a victim of domestic and prolongued CSA, is portrayed as a strong and independent adult, with problems sure, but not incapable. If you think that he can’t control himself or doesn’t know what he wants when he wants to have sex (which is not the case in every example given in the story), then you must think that maybe Doumeki could have had better control of his own sexual desires and could have waited. We are looking at the same pages, yet our emotional response is different. But at the end of the day, I look at the way Yoneda draws Yashiro after sex with Doumeki and he is always at a low point. To me, it seems that the point was to bring him to break, to experience a crisis. And I am having a hard time romanticizing it.
Personally, I refrain from conflating fiction with reality too much, because fiction doesn't operate under the same premises as reality; I believe to know what Yashiro actually wanted or didn't want based on my understanding of the story and in turn I base my opinion about chapters 23/24 on this belief.
The “I believe to know what Yashiro actually wanted” is a big theme in the manga as of the later chapters too. I find it interesting, because it is a possibility that this is Doumeki’s motivation now. And I am so very critical of it! Hugely critical of this approach, while also understanding that it is deliberate in the story.
In my analyses I will continue to be critical of things, and I can’t see that as a misuse of fiction. I am grateful that you took your time to read my arguments. This remains a place open to discussions as long as we are aware that romantic views about love and sex are not superior nor compulsory to read Saezuru.
Third to last page of ch 25: breaking the fourth wall
Following the discussion from here. Hoping you don’t mind if I make a new post so that the other one doesn’t become too heavy. I’m answering some lingering questions, but I am also saying that I won’t be dissuaded from treating this manga differently. As said recently*, Yoneda takes such care to give details and context to the story, that it is intriguing to look into things with analytical eyes and I can’t see the problem with it. For those who maybe feel like “the story isn’t that deep”, that is more offensive to the author tbh than to me or others in fandom who write commentaries. * @dragomfry said: “It makes our analyses of her work hold extra weight because there are things that she wants us to look for and derive meaning from (rather than us trying to derive meaning from nothing to begin with)”.
So to clear this first.
I can’t quite see why this story would be distorted into something it’s not intended to be if we approach it under a romantic lens.
I am not debating people for approaching the story romantically, but - because some troubling arguments were made about the recent poll - I will say this. Rape culture takes some arguments from romantic and patriarcal views to defend the aggressors and blame the victims instead: this isn’t romanticism’s fault, but the very fact should be at least taken into consideration. [More on this below**]. So several of the reflections I was writing about framing the manga as romance rather than literary realism were prompted by this issue. And reading your thoughts about the story, I can understand where we differ so much: and that is in how we view Doumeki especially, rather than the rest. Maybe you are not romanticizing Yashiro and his trauma, but you are especially romanticizing Doumeki. For example:
I allow myself to indulge in the romanticism of it all; both of them falling in love at first sight, depressed Yashiro finally finding someone who truly cares about him, Doumeki who doesn’t back down when Yashiro rejects him, Doumeki still having feelings for Yashiro even after he shot him in the leg and pretended not to remember him, etc. There’s so much in this story that’s blatantly romantic, almost corny.
There are many aspects of the manga that I do find realistic in it’s portrayal, such as the CSA, what I don’t find realistic, however, is the portrayal of love, the romance. I find it very idealised and romanticised for the most part (i.e the falling in love at first sight (I’ll get to that), Doumeki being Yashiro’s exact type, Doumeki happens to be impotent which allows Yashiro to develop feelings for him, the fact that Doumeki is completely accepting of everything Yashiro does regardless of how Yashiro treats him, the fact that Doumeki is still in love with Yashiro after he shot him the leg, maybe he even stayed in the Yakuza world just to be near him (although who knows why exactly he did that?) Idk maybe it’s just me but I find it very unrealistic. It’s this romantic idea of „there is this perfect person out there who accepts you just the way you are and you don’t have to do anything to keep them happy, you can even shoot them in the leg and they’ll still love you, they’ll stick around no matter what it takes to be with you“.
I can’t pick and choose what I want to romanticize or not, I have chosen to look at things differently, and I am keeping the same approach when looking at characterizarion. When I look at Doumeki, I see as many problems as those Yashiro has. He is the one depressed imo, at the beginning of the story, he is in much worse shape than Yashiro. Yashiro has a support network, Doumeki was isolated in prison and kept family away when he was released. Doumeki isn’t this strong and stoic person who is in love with Yashiro and is therefore shouldering a burden or enduring abuse in the name of love. I have been misunderstood before on this, but I want to say that I look at these characters without romanticizing either of them. I am not so much interested in looking at who is right or wrong, or to paint one character in a better light and bashing another: I want to understand their differences and how they came to be, how the relationship is affected by those differences. This is why I don’t take a shipper’s approach either, I am not solely focused in their relationship, but in the story as a whole.
There are several posts where I talked at lenght about these characters, because Yoneda gave a lot of backstory, and I encourage who may be interested in checking further. Doumeki has trouble facing or recognizing reality, until reality kicks him in the face, and that is happening to him since the nurse and Aoi. So he is only observing when it suits him. Yashiro established his emotional boundaries plenty of times, and Nanahara is there to corroborate and reinforce Yashiro’s prefereces. Here are some examples, and these are from volume one alone. It is a pretty clear situation, and Doumeki understood it.
I know that people are objecting to the very idea of framing Doumeki as the aggressor in this case, but the power dynamics had already shifted at that point when things went down in ch 24-25. It is the result of an escalation that sees Doumeki hiding his feelings and his arousal, and becoming more aggressive and unhinged towards others during the investigation into who ordered the hit on Yashiro. Yoneda was painstakingly building towards that scene, while also painting a bigger picture and external plot, and there are so many details that I haven’t even touched upon yet, but nothing is filler. And the parallels between Doumeki’s arousal and his violent behavior can’t be easily ignored.
Again, I feel quite powerless and unequipped to persuade those who already formed their opinion. But when given arguments in favor of dismissing Yashiro’s right to object or arguments that shift the focus away from the simple topic of consent, then I have to ask myself why this is happening. **Rape culture does play a role, and as I said, rape culture can and does weaponize some romantic ideas about love. Or against the autonomy of the person, against choice and so on.
I find it very important that Yoneda chose to put those words in the mouth of an ex-policeman, while dressed up as a policeman, and of another abusive detective with the police. Or the fact that Inami commented on Doumeki’s father building a career to cover up his crimes. See these statements from the Wikipedia page on rape culture:
With how difficult has become to search on the web for unbiased results, I am just giving the Wikipedia page not as a source of authority, but as a peer reviewed summary that provides a starting point for research and some bibliography on the subject. For example:
I want to add that I don’t agree with the way the article frames “men” as perpetrators and “women” as victims. That should be corrected and can be misleading. Men have been historically and consistently discouraged to speak up about being victims of rape themselves and often the law didn’t even consider them. And the gendered approach contributed to make so many victims invisibile. There is so much we have to learn.
Again, this post is solely for the purpose of answering arguments or points made directly to me about how we interpret the story in Saezuru. These are my observations and reflections, the links I see, and it is possible because these things are in the manga. And last, I love love-stories. But romance - especially romantic tropes, often reinforced by fandom shipping culture - don’t always equal love to me.
#saezuru tori wa habatakanai#saezuru analysis#eri reads saezuru#yoneda kou#not addressing every point of the arguments only the bigger differences that separate our views
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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...
it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy
also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]
gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.
anyway.
there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.
imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.
a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.
the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?
but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.
#asks#Anonymous#sagau#tsaritsa#like. am i explaining this coherently?? first meetings r GOOD and i could go on a tangent of like. first meetings w zl and make it work#but first meetings w the tsaritsa is like. you just cooked a 5 course meal. took one bite. called it a day.#so much of my characterization lies in the “after” of the first meeting#because her first meetings are generally the same. she's apathetic at best!! she does not gaf abt the creator in the SLIGHTEST#but show that you are more then the creator? that you do not cling to the title like a shield? that you do not rely on it?#youve got the worst person youve ever known ready to kill a man for you.#tsaritsa is very like. EXTREMELY hard to earn the trust of but when you do she will kill someone for you no hesitation no question#which is why she works SO WELL in villain au and imposter au!!!!!!!!!#esp if theres a fake “creator” calling you the imposter. she hates their ass and was .5 seconds from dethroning them anyway#you just made it 10x easier#also cant do just first meetings bc i am incapable of not shoving themes of love into every fic w her SORRY#tsaritsa going on a full multiple month long mental breakdown bc she is not in love with you but she would destroy everything for u..#(shes in denial)#tsaritsa and complex themes of love and what it means for the god of love to be incapable of feeling it + what it means when reader shows u#LIKE UGHHHHHH okay. i guess ill write another tsaritsa fic and put it in my vault#aka my drafts#i hold so many fics hostage there its crazy#this answered like 0 of ur questions sorry i see tsaritsa and black out and this happens#i just think first meetings dont let her character really come thru but my response got out of hand so uhhhhh everyone look away. please#putting tape over my mouth now so i shut up before this gets worse#basically tsaritsa gravitates more towards outcast reader rather then one who has already become accustomed to the adoration of the acolyte#does that make sense........#i havent slept in forever and im running on nothing but spite and dreams atp dont expect coherency when it comes 2 the tsaritsa from me#head in hands someone please stop me i keep rambling abt the tsaritsa it makes me go NUTS#lays down. explodes
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Omg your instagram story is so right! I can’t believe I’ve never even noticed that, probably because in fanon keith and shiro are so close that I’d forgotten that isn’t canon :0
Deserves this awesome quote which I had to dig out of my sideblog reblogs
#for context - i was complaining how under-served we were to listen how much shiro did for keith and how amazing their relationship is#and then were forced to watch him just recruit him for school and be a decent teacher#like any teacher should#i mean....#any.#like he was just showing basic decency for not throwing Keith away for bad behavior#keith acted as if that man hung the moon#as if he was reliable... took a few punches that were meant for Keith ....risked something for him#wanted to give up his liver or something#gave up his last food in the apocalypse to feed him i dont fucking know#Keith acted as if that guy literally saved his life and we got scenes where Shiro is emotionally manipulating him to stay in school#or to become a leader#never really asking how he feels about it or if he needs help#i thought twice before saying Keith attached to a pile of shit because it was warm#but not thrice#i've re-watched season 1 of Arcane and was so mad about it i couldn't hold it in djdjdjd#i do think they could have a good relationship but what we were /shown/ was just not it too many plot holes to fill#love that the fandom can fill the discrepancies and rewrite those relationships though#and also i was really glad people answered to that story agreeing#i was feeling weird reading all those 'keith and shiro are my fav relationship in the show'#...lance was more warm to the mice than Shiro to Keith '#i feel like it owuld make more sense to me if keith did all of this WHILE being pissed at Shiro for leaving him#or if we saw he finds him unreliable - Shiro was only useful to him as long as Keith followed his rules too#Vander doing all he did for his daughters that shit was unconditional fucking love#vi and jinx never being able to off one another had more raw pure love than that#you know what i mean??? sorry im doing it again.... end of ramble#mezzy out 💀
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5 for the isat ask game!
5 - What's your favorite optional event?
VERY TOUGH ONE TO ANSWER. I'm gonna go right ahead and disqualify twohats bc it's a predictable answer. If I had to choose just one though I think it'd probably be the sus event. It really got my goat on my first playthrough bc I didn't realize you had to do it in ACT 4. If I remember correctly I think sus is the only optional event locked to ACT 4??? Now that I've actually done it though I'm quite fond of it.
Sus event is one that you really have to go out of your way to do. It kind of reminds me of the True Ending in SASASAP but More and I'm sure that's intentional. Like the requirements for sus quest necessitate that you're going to do it, if not the loop before ACT 5, very soon before it. You have to know pretty much everything about Time Craft and Wish Craft already, so whatever you're doing in the loops now is basically taking out any optional stuff before you hit the end. You have to pretty thoroughly remember how the script goes just so you know all the best ways to break it. I feel like if the True Ending route is Loop going through the motions so many times that they can't deal with holding their facade together any longer, the sus route is Siffrin waving a big red flag around for help. There's just no way you're going to stumble into sus without preplanning what to do to rack up your points and make Odile aware of how Wish Craft works.
So I think it's interesting how much Siffrin pushes back against Odile trying to figure him out. It's a pattern of behavior that I am well aware of where you're desperately going "HELP ME" but you're not willing to accept it when it's offered to you.
Siffrin spends an entire loop screwing everything up, to a point that's frankly kind of egregious even by Late Stage Timeloopers standards, and then they can't reckon with the consequences of it. I don't think sus event is as intentional of a cry for help for Siffrin as it is the player, mind you. But I do think it's. Very tragic. Yeah of course "it's too late" in the sense that Siffrin's about to talk to Euphie and the whole journey will end, but moreso it's that by the time that Odile can piece together all the information necessary to figure Siffrin out, Siffrin is just far too deeply entrenched in his self hatred and fear of abandonment to be dug out. I think if Odile could somehow figure it out in, like, early ACT 3, or if Isabeau was just a bit more pushy in getting Siffrin to do a feelings talk, maybe they'd actually be able to reach Siffrin a little. But they're always just a little too late, every single time.
I think the fact that you start really getting a bunch of weird points in ACT 3 gives this event a lot of buildup. For potential dozens of loops you'll see Odile brush against the truth of the situation, and then just barely miss. By the time she figures it out, it's too late. Explodes
Expounded upon slightly more in tags bc I don't like typing in post bodies I feel like a fish on land. eek
#asks#ask game#ive been forgetting 2 tag my asks. smh#Sorry ocean that this took a while to answer i got lost in the sauce (rereading dialogue in rpgmaker)#i spent way too long writing this and i dont think i even touched on the guts of why this scene gets to me. tbh#it's just like. idk i've been there#doing shit not even really on purpose to kind of flag other people like Hey i'm doing bad#and then they're like hey are you doing bad and it's like. Oh fuck well now they know and they'll want me to die. i gotta get outta here#very relatable siffrin momence. never a good thing#like i realize that siffrin was literally like 'i don't think i want ur help' and then i kept calling their actions a cry for help#but like that's what it is. i can't read susquest as anything else. i don't think those two things contradict either#desire to be helped versus desire to not be perceived/not be a burden on others.#wanting help but not wanting to BE helped? does that make sense. am i saying words#it's like how loop wanted help so badly they lost everything in pursuit of it when all they had to do was be honest with their friends.#idk. kicks rock around#isat spoilers
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thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first
#soda.txt#chara#(ok idk if this will work but LEEEENGTHY discussion of child abuse below)#ok listen hear me out on this- i know the initial interpretation is a sui attempt WHICH I ALSO AGREE WITH- BUT LISTEN#i believe there was something else going on leading to the whole ''eradicate humanity'' bit and the obvious answer is an unsafe homelife#well. at least for me.#being around people (or perhaps adults) who hurt you and make you feel unsafe in a place where you should be welcomed with open arms and-#a promise of care would probably make any child feel like all of humanity was (in simple terms) cruel and uncaring#so hearing about somewhere they could GET AWAY FROM THAT? of course they'd take that opportunity and run.#chara was just lucky enough to fall into a place that pulled them out of the ideology of ''all of humanity is cruel''#because the dreemurrs were kind and patient enough to take them in and give them a new family#and wouldn't anyone want that?#for the part of The Plan (the buttercups) i think.. i think that one was formed by the idea that chara felt obligated to-#pay the dreemurrs back for their kindness. not that the dreemurrs would have made them. just by their own mental code.#what better way to pay a kind family back- one that took you in and cared for you like one of their own- then by forming a plan to-#set their people free?#they've been stuck down there for so long. they've wanted to feel the sun for SO LONG. why not give yourself up to grant that dream?#idk if these thoughts are coherent. LOL sorry i kinda just started saying words huh#but its ok.#feel free to ask me questions ab my interp of chara btw teehee ^_^ i love talking about chara they're my favorite theyre so silly#ok now for the proper tags on this bitch#chara undertale#chara dreemurr#child abuse mention#suicide mention#tw child abuse#safeutdr#OH ANALYSIS TAG UHHH UMM#🧪lab notes
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BAPS YOU AROUND BAPS YOU AROUND BAPS YOU AROUND ASTROOOOO!!! OMIGOSH!!!! i'm so sorry i haven't been around for so long,, i got smacked in the face with a horrible sickness and i'm currently bouncing between being stuck in bed, okay,, or taken to a hospital ☆⌒(>。<) NOT TO WORRY!!! IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS!!!!!
I MISSED YOU!!! AND I LIKE YOUR NEW PFP!!!!!!
i came to say this because i just realized i never told you!!! i like your tag notes. like,, i like how organized and analytical it is,,, when you talk about your thoughts on a HC post or frankie's cool fanganronpa au or g/t posts you like;; i really enjoy listening ((or, well,, reading??)) what you think about the posts and i love how in-depth you get into it,,,, if anything it's my highlight / favorite note and/or part of whatever post you reblogged,, you always point out stuff i didn't even notice or think about and i admire how observant you are!!!! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノヽ(>∀<☆)ノ
you have a really charming way of speaking/typing and i get excited whenever i get to talk to you, or interact with you,, or even just see a post/rb of yours because you're so interesting and awesome and cool and i enjoy being around you!!!! /GENUINE!!! VERY!! THIS WHOLE ASK IS SLASH EXTREMELY GENUINE TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE WITH SIXTEEN REALLY'S!!!!
★kit-kat.. those are too many words, I am not reading them. /j + /ref + quo
erhhrhehr I don't know how to regulate such positivity at the moment, I am smiling like an idiot though. Now that I know that someone- erhem, you, reads my notes and tags on other people's posts is just aging me on to just share more of my thoughts and analysis on stuff that I find cool and intriguing. I like thought of someone taking their time to read my feedback.
Also my. The way I type is charming ?? Huh, never thought about it that way (that's just on the internet, in real life my mind goes blank and I give the most shit ass answers, good thinking that I can take my sweet time while typing online. shit.)
I do quite appreciate the fact that you enjoy my concept and little rambles, and I somewhat missed you two (I think ?? I dunno)
..also please get some rest and take medicine to beat that sickness, don't bounce around while being stick- it's not silly and not good for your health =/.
M'kay, I hope you beat that sickness to its core, I am tempted to buy you imaginary boxing gloves that can beat out cold's and sicknesses. /hj ★
#★sixteen really's?? like really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really- ?#..words get confusing visually after writing them many times#also rise!donatello is that you ??/j#I have a feeling that he could keep track of how much he said a word to emphasize on what he is thinking and such#like when he said 'two verys' and 'two reallys' In 'Breaking Purple'#..I just unlocked a new headcanon that might not make any sense due to the way I worded it#Im so glad I opened up my inbox by the way/gen ... /gen- (two /gen's)★#★answers to asks★#★ kitty anonymous 🐈🔍 !!★#★..sorry I took so long to answer#I am quite literally trying to find things to add to this-★
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Hello Rassilon. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your Asks in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading, there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen.
Anon ask of Omega (Your Ex) regarding Rassilon's current partners. Ask begins.
I hope you'll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It's rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can't tell me you're not curious.
Why does an ex seek to talk about their former partner's lovers?
It's a simple enough answer: for satisfying one's curiosity. Uninspired, perhaps, but my god. The discovery, not simply of the variety of partners you take interest in, but that you would quite willingly date the teacher of one of Gallifrey's most infamous children.
It's a strange thing to know about an ex, but the fascination, Rassilon, the fascination of it all. I have dedicated my afterlife to handing myself knowledge of these partners, and I feel nothing but satisfaction in this choice.
I believe there are far more people in this world that would catch your eye than you would ever guess. And I have preceeded all of them.
Of course, their desires did not manifest overnight. When Tumblr first gathered your romantic intereste – Borusa, Banthony, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of their love for you, I felt what I believe we all felt: jealousy, and anger.
But as attention on Tumblr increased in number and discussion on the greatest partner for you emerged, I began to develop a very specific concern. Banthony was so obsessed with his ideas on you and his marriage, even as our fellows began to flirt and confess our love to you ourselves.
I began to worry that if Banthony successfully attempted to catch your gaze, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world without your love.
At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable confession of love was to stop my own feelings of love. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. I would make you fall in love with Banthony before professing your love to anyone else, therefore eliminating what myself or Borusa's feelings may be.
And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only a happy future for you and Banthony.
Goodbye, Rassilon
- Omega xoxo
I- I don't know what to say.
Omega, if this is really you, if you somehow, by every twist and turn of fate imaginable, survived this long in some form... My love for you has always been the greatest of any I have felt. Never have I loved another in the way I loved you.
But that is in the past. I have to stop letting you hold me back. I made my decision that fateful day; I did what I had to do to reach the top, to shape this society- our society, our dream- in the way that it must be shaped. Gallifrey could never have had two rulers. You knew this going in. And, best of all, dearest love, you knew that I would not be able to stand a threat to my power and my control. So, as much as I loved you, Omega, my sweet Ohm, my darling Peylix, I had to let you go. For us, for our home, for our people, for our dream. For Gallifrey. We would both be dead and gone by now if I had not, but now, you live on in your beautous creations, and in our shared society. Look at our children. At what we have created. This must be enough.
Oh, but my darling, you never could be so easily satisfied.
That is why I loved you. And that is why I had to let you go.
If this really were you, I would say, dearest Ohm, that I am glad you are able to let me go. I know that must be exceedingly difficult. But, I am happy with Borusa, and I do not love Banthony. If I did not have Borusa to think of, perhaps things would be different, and I would honour your wishes. Perhaps, then, you may finally find peace.
I am truly sorry that I must leave you trapped in your death, but you will never be in a world without my love. My love for you transcends the grave- and yes, I know, it must be your grave, my darling, for you cannot have survived beyond. I know, in my hearts, that you are gone and that this cannot be from you, not really, for you are lost to all but my memory.
Goodbye, my love. For whatever isn't left of you, for whatever could have been- my love for you persists even now, across regenerations and across death and across time.
#sorry it took me so long to get here#this is truly the most incredible ask I have ever received#ask#omega#of rassilon#answer#banthony#borusa#also. a little obsessed with the idea of a once-enraged ex lover returning to being obsessed with the guy who LITERALLY MURDERED HIM only t#end up wanting the best for him and trying to match make him. And instead of choosing to encourage the love of a fellow obsessive sub who#is clearly in an unhealthy relationship with Rassy (Borusa)#ergo mirroring his own lost relaitonship#he chooses to encourage the love of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who was basically a MEME brought to life only to annoy Rassy#idk what you call it... character development?? BUt this is certainly wonderful and intriguing and hilarious#seriously. you are brilliant#also I think it's important to mention that the mian reason this took me so long to get to was because the first time I read it I opened it#at school and burst out laughing in front of everyone#and I haven't been able to answer this without laughing uproariously for so so long#and then I took the break and then I left town for a bit#but I'm back and I'm still laughing so so much and yet here we are#I did it!!!#also I hope Borusa sees this and gets mad and finally leaves this bitch (rassy)#he deserves better#find later#omega omega omega
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(optional) surprise ask meme! List 5 songs you like to listen to, then publish this and send this ask to the last 5 people in your notifs 🎶(no need to pass it on if you don't want to, i just wanted to share one of these around a bit!)
This ask came in right as I was in the middle of choir christmas music prep and going insane over a completely unrelated piece of media, my brain was otherwise occupied gomen (-﹏-;)
anyway! in no particular order:
輪舞-revolution (Rondo Revolution) by Masami Okui
Drive Your Fire by A-One (<- touhou eurobeat my beloved)
Deliver us from Prince of Egypt
Du Signade Dag, from the album Himmelen Inom by Anders Nyberg
Starlight, the revue insert song from Revue Starlight ep. 12.
#I am so sorry this took as long as it did to answer merryyyyyy aaaaaaa#god what was my asks tag.#asks#i think.#this WAS a lot of fun. i am so sorry it took this longgggggg#also shoutout to rinbu revolution and starlight for making me sane again. augh
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* I know I’m technically a focus on art but I also want to chat as writer—what’s one of your favorite troupes that you rarely write whether it’s because you feel you can’t do it justice or just because you don’t? Me personally I am an AVID fan of mind bending/un-reality fics, but I can never write them to a satisfactory level. They’re so fun to read especially when they’re multi-chapter and you’ve gotta theorize on wtf is going on!!! It’s quirky and fun!!!! No one knows what’s going on and I ADORE that type of confusion. Learning to write is fun but I’m not at that level yet and I’m excited for when I can GGHRAAAHHH!!!!
OH BOY. oh boy. hello there thank you so much for the ask i absolutely love it. this took me a while to respond to because i had to get my thoughts in order 😅 i like a good never-say-never attitude, but there are many many things i write that are not as good as the blurry versions of themselves rotating around the inside of my head! the potential, u know? i can never do the potential justice. somehow i don't think that will ever change.
one thing i definitely struggle with is long-term character development - whether it's romantic, like a slow burn, or platonic or just in terms of narrative structure, whatever. i can't seem to get it happening to my satisfaction. i am so comfortable collecting snapshots of specific points of a character's journey, but when i try to slowly allow them to grow and change, it always feels cheap idk 😬😭 i'm also not so good at writing stories which span a longer period of time and/or have timeskips. it's mostly due to lack of practice with longer stories, and i'm working on improving!
in terms of more specific tropes or genres, though.... mysteries. i can never figure out how heavy or subtle the foreshadowing should be. comedy is also hard, although i've been practicing that one and i think i'm slowly getting the hang of a few different styles that are more humourous. and sometimes i read, like, Feist and Wurts' Empire trilogy, or Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind, and realise all over again i have a looooong way yet to go when it comes to introducing worldbuilding into a story naturally and intuitively. also, this might be silly, because the LU fic i'm most known for is literally about this, but reveals? i'm not so confident i can live up to the hype or satisfactorily fulfill the tension i've built. i hope my cursebreaker readers are not going to be disappointed by the payoff/reveal i have planned 🤞🤞😁
that being said, though, i keep writing all of those tropes and genres anyway, and it's really an honour to have the space and encouragement to be giving it a shot. i'm so grateful that all my recurring readers have put their trust in me and my ability to deliver a good story. throughout my childhood writing has always been a very solitary endeavour for me and i cannot express how much fun i've been having on ao3 over the last year, and tumblr the last few months. i've never had a fandom community like this before 💕 and i like to think that while i'm still growing my skills, i also have the potential inside me for anything, if i give it a good shot and keep at it. i think we all do.
i'm very sorry for all of this word vomit 😁 i guess, to chat as a writer, all i can say is i also LOVE reality bending stories, and they're SO FUN and you're SO RIGHT, and i don't have so much one problem writing as i do a lot of smaller more general ones, because i like to throw myself into my problems head-first, and i believe that you too have a million potentials inside you if you keep at it, and i for one am very, very excited to see where you go. i guess this whole answer was a gesture of enouragement, in the end. 🤩🥰
#thank you for the very interesting ask and i am SO VERY SORRY#at both how long it is and how long it took to write#it perplexed me for a long time#i still think my answer doesn't really make that much sense so i'm sorry about that too. i guess all i was trying to say is#i love writing#and i'm excited to talk about writing with you#and please don't set limits on yourself. shoot for the stars#if you do it many times unsatisfactorily eventually you'll find what you like and what you don't like abt it#and where the problems are. and you'll get more specific with what you're doing#and maybe you still won't be satisfied but you'll be having fun. and you'll be improving#i think writing is sort of like that forever though. satisfaction is impossible#so the only thing for it is to be proud of what you can make#social tag#🐝#cursebreaker mention LOL
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last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..
#like oof where do i even begin#for one... would recommend looking up what pedestalling is so u can catch urself when ur doing it.#and. hm. honestly even working on self worth n whatnot i think rly internalizing not 2 pedestal ppl cuts out a lot of self sabotage#like hello ppl in ur life r there bc they choose to be. you are worth it to them and they are showing u that w action.#u gotta be vulnerable.. u gotta trust in other ppl.. cautious optimism is fine but 😮💨😮💨#i hate when ppl assume what im thinking and feeling and act upon that. assumptions on assumptions.#my mom was like that in a mean spirited vindictive way. my ex would spiral if i took too long to respond stressed as hell#thinking that i had all these horrible thoughts about her or that i was just using her like holy shit I'm just sitting here drawing ajsjka#i am trying to make friends. i am recovering from my own personal circumstances and trying to figure myself out etc.#was also actively working on finding myself as a trans woman bc it was so early in my transition.#idk. like damn ppl have Lives‚ hobbies‚ other ppl they talk to‚ they take time for themselves.#if u don't know and ur stressed about it‚ ask..? but then believe ppl when they answer idk.#sorry.. I've annoyed myself lmao. it was wild... things were dead simple on my end but she came up w hella things she swore HAD to have bee#true and after breaking up w her she kept DMing me w long ass self deprecating vents and mischaracterisations#i had to block her after a while like 😐 u ever see somebody go to therapy and get worse somehow#i cannot fw people who have low self esteem anymore but like i sympathize from a distance lol#hello from the other side of the interaction... self love/worth is hard but please try#ur mischaracterization of ppl based on assumptions is hurting them and it will alienate ppl n push them away#and then become a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.. but also take what I'm saying w a grain of salt 🤷🏾♀️#i just have my personal experiences
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