#sorry it got long dkshdlkshdhs

[jane-shepard]

which instagram filter did u end up going with :3c

ok like. i went back and replayed the ending sequence twice so i could see all of them, and i have conflicting opinions?

for synthesis, the idea of shepard making the decision to change everyone’s DNA and bodies against their will for the ‘betterment’ of the galaxy bugs me. i feel like it goes against everything shepard (or at least my shepard) would believe in. the right to make choices and decide what to do with your own life. i mean, she literally fought so that organics and synthetics could keep living, because she saw being sentient as something that made people worth saving, organic or otherwise.

as for control, i’m….. torn. on one hand, its portrayed as the most moral decision, and some masochistic part of me LOVES the endings where shepard sacrifices herself just to save everyone in every way she can. the tragic hero/martyr part of her character is part of the reason i cry so much over her, and it seems… fitting for her to die. sad, but fitting.  BUT, there’s also some things about the control ending that bug me. i know the starchild promises that she’ll be able to control the reapers, but where’s the security? and leaving the reapers alive to roam the galaxy seems…. odd to me. they terrorized and mowed down races, and now they’re chill and we should trust them? these giant death machines? I MEAN, they literally tricked the illusive man with promises of power, why not try and do the same to shepard, even if she is choosing the power for different reasons? and lastly, shepard’s entire character was based around the fact she was just one person. and now she’s giving up her ‘humanity’ and her last shot at rest to watch over the entire galaxy? that’s just… so sad to me. 

finally, destroy. i equally love and hate it. on one hand, shepard (usually) lives, and the reapers are finally wiped out for good. but, even if the “all your synthetic friends will die” was just a last-ditch attempt at self-preservation by the starchild, there’s still the fact that shepard chose it. i can’t see her ever forgiving herself for that. i can see her picking it, but i can also see her tearing herself up over it. 

if it was true and she wakes up to find EDI and the geth destroyed/non-functioning, can you imagine her apologizing to joker? she was so tired, she just wanted it to be over, she just wanted to go home, and that cost joker the person he loved most. but even if they are okay and the starchild is lying, she still has to live with the fact that she chose to kill them. 

don’t get me wrong, i love destroy because she can finally be free, but i worry about what other things she might end up saddled with after the fact. it hurts me because what if she lived when all she wanted to do was die and take her guilt to the grave with her? 

TL;DR: destroy. my canon ending is destroy, even tho it kills me.