#sorry in advance if the readmore doesn't work; im on mobile and the text editor sucks

[morporkian-cryptid]

Multilingual Lupin III Gang shenanigans!

We know that everyone in the LoopGang is multilingual, and there is no way their conversations wouldn't be chaos half of the time.

For the purpose of these headcanons, here's what each of them speaks:

Lupin: French and Japanese (both native), English (fluent), can get by in a bunch of other languages and quickly get to a respectable level of fluency with a few weeks' study

Jigen: English (native), Japanese (fluent, spoke it as a kid in his family), Italian (picked up a lot of it in NYC), French (learned while in Nice with Joe of Spades, later perfected it with Lupin)

Goemon: Japanese (native), Ainu (fluent), a couple of Japanese dialects (nearly fluent/gets by), English (fluent or nearly), a bit of French (currently trying to learn it)

Fujiko: Japanese (native), English (fluent), pretty much fluent in a bunch of languages and can easily learn a new one, like Lupin

Zenigata: Japanese (native), English (not fluent but can get by, pretty bad pronounciation because he mostly learned in textbooks), can get by with the basics in a lot of languages

(You're all warmly invited to add your own headcanons!)

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The Gang is having a conversation in Japanese, a few English words are being thrown around, and Goemon can't remember a word in Japanese.

Cue Goemon having a small identity crisis.

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They can never remember which idiom comes from which language, and often get bewildered reactions from others when they get it wrong.

(After Lupin told them a story about his father)

Goemon, solemnly: The son of a toad is a toad.

Jigen and Fujiko are keeled over with laughter, Lupin looks deathly offended.

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Goemon texts in kanji, Fujiko mixes kanji with the occasional English word, Lupin writes in Japanese with roman letters, Jigen doesn't give a damn and writes in a lawless mix of Japanese and English. Their group chat is a nightmare.

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Zenigata can't make a proper sentence in anything other than Japanese or English to save his life, but he can say "You're under arrest" and "Have you seen this man?" perfectly in 34 languages.

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Lupin is usually well-spoken and polite, but in French he swears like a trucker. One day he stubs his toe against a table, and starts yelling "PUTAIN DE BORDEL DE MERDE D'ENCULE, FOUTUE TABLE DE MES DEUX!" (Fucking brothel of shit of ass-fucked, damned table of my two (implied: my two balls))

The next week, Jigen stubs his toe against the same table, and lets out one, loud, heartfelt, deeply american "FUCK!"

Fujiko forces them both to eat soap.

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Fujiko and Lupin sometimes forget that the other two aren't fluent in a dozen languages, which can lead to conversations like this:

Fujiko (in German) : Hey, how would you say "Treppenwitz" in English?

Lupin (in German) : I dunno... (switching to English) Hey Goemon, how would you say "Treppenwitz" in English?

Goemon: ???????

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One of the non-native English speakers mispronounces a word in front of Jigen, and learns that their whole life has been a lie.

Lupin: That guy was a total dum-bass!

Jigen, doing a double-take: What did you just say?

Lupin: He was a dum-bass. What? It's true.

Jigen: -snorts- Dum-bass.

Lupin: What??

Jigen: It's pronounced dum-ass, you idiot.

Lupin: It is WHAT?? That's completely stupid! Where did the B go???

Jigen: You pronounce "oiseaux" as "wazo" and you're asking me where the B went?????

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Lupin trying to teach Jigen French:

Lupin: Marin.

Jigen: Marrant.

Lupin: No, that means "funny". Marin.

Jigen: Marron.

Lupin: That's "brown"!

Jigen: Why is every word in your godforsaken language pronounced the same???

Lupin: Says the guy whose language says "beach" and "bitch" the same way!!!

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Jigen not understanding English words in Japanese sentences:

[In Japanese]

Lupin: I bought us some aisukurimu!

Jigen: Some what?

Lupin: Aisukurimu! Come help me put it in the freezer.

Jigen: What the fuck is aisukurimu? I just asked you to buy us some damn ice-cream!

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Conversly, Goemon not understanding Japanese words used in other languages:

Lupin: Tu es un samouraï. (You are a samurai)

Goemon: ???

Lupin: Un sa-mou-ra-ï.

Goemon: I have absolutely no idea what you are saying to me.

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Lupin (learned British English) and Jigen (from NYC) arguing for hours on whether it's po-tah-to or po-tay-to. Fujiko waltzes in after ten minutes, pronounces it with a thick Australian accent, then leaves. Shouting ensues.

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Accidentally using straight translations of a word:

Goemon: Jigen, I can't find my wear-thing.

Jigen: Your what now?

Goemon: My wear-thing!

Jigen: .... YOU MEAN YOUR CLOTHES?

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They're used to people in Japan not understanding English well, and thus speaking English among themselves when they don't want to be understood by others. This unfortunately does not work in other countries.

They also sometimes start speaking the wrong foreign language to the locals of whatever country they're in, because they travel so much they keep forgetting where they are.

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Lupin is absolutely horrified by Frapanese and Engrish, Jigen is in stitches every time he sees it. He bought Lupin a tshirt that says "I don't need life I'm high on drugs". Lupin tried to burn it several times.

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Goemon and Jigen are constantly fighting about the metric system vs imperial system.

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In moments of panic, they can't remember certain words nor easily switch to another language, so you get warnings like "Put the stuff in the thing, it's gonna boom!"

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Lupin finds out about the goémon, and never lets Goemon live it down.

(Alternatively: the Gang goes to France, a local discreetly asks Lupin why his partner is called Algae, Lupin cracks up)

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Lupin and Goemon are cooking together, Lupin needs a specific utensil but cannot for the life of him remember its name, ends up asking for the "hot food shovel". Goemon also can't remember what it's called but give it to him nonetheless.

The next day at 3 in the morning, Goemon is brutally woken up by Lupin sitting up and yelling "SPATULA!!!"

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Since they're constantly abroad, they're not up to date with the modern slang of their homeland.

Driver that Lupin honked at: Vas manger tes grands morts! (go eat your great deads)

Lupin: Ex-fucking-cusez moi????

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Lupin is so used to the Japanese "r" he ends up saying "galage" instead of "garage".

One time he's working on a heist at 2 am, he's half-asleep, and accidentally signs his calling card "Rupan" in roman letters.

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Lupin and Jigen are reading the newspaper, an article catches their eye and they start talking about it. It's only five minutes later, when they notice Goemon glaring at them, that they realize: they were speaking Italian the whole time.

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During fights they tend to revert to their native language, so you get Lupin yelling in French and Fujiko responding in Japanese, neither of them willing to switch to accommodate the other. Jigen eventually joins in with a thick Bronx accent.

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They also revert back to their native language during steamy times

Lupin gets really flustered from hearing Jigen speak French. Once, Jigen calls him "mon voleur" (my thief); Lupin's knees instantly turn into jelly.