#sorry im kinda just. venting imma stop now

[dukeofthomas]

I'm ngl I forgot I'm not an only child and was extremely confused on why I had such specific opinions on Jason's and Dick's brotherly relationship. Like I am a younger sibling ofc I'll have opinions on the brothers. Stop forgetting my older sibling exists challenge [level impossible]

[lumosandnoxwriting]

okay idk how many we can send but imma just. 😤 real quick if u dont mind. so back in march i broke up with my boyfriend at the time bc i was doubting things and i just ended it. a couple months later i got tinder and met this guy and we talked and he met my friends and stuff but i realized kinda quickly that i wasn’t actually interested in him that much. and i wasnt that attracted to him either but i thought it could possibly work so i kept going but basically he caught feelings and i was his first like. major crush but i realized that i wasnt ready for a boyfriend bc i was still missing my ex so I stopped it and told him that i wasnt ready and then things got hella awkward bc he started to take my friends into his own like discord server to play where i couldnt join but we talked and we’re okay now but. I met another guy who goes to my school and now he and I are talking and this 1st guy got really jealous of the 2nd guy and things got kinda weird again. Then the 1st guy messaged me saying that he thought we had something and he wants to try again and i said. No. because im not interested and he kept pushing it and wouldn’t just take the L. like he said “well i thought we had something” and im like thats nice but i wanna be friends and its really weird bc im talking to the 2nd guy now who is really cute and nice but at the same time I think im still into my ex even though i broke it off so now i just wanna lay face down on my bed for 30 years. slldkw okay sorry vent over. congrats again lolol

let me tell you what all men have: the audacity 

guy #1 needs to just take the L and move on, it seems like you’ve been pretty clear with him what you want with him and he just needs to accept that 

as far as being torn about your ex and a new guy that's honestly a really hard one!! 

I dated the same guy all throughout high school and even though it’s been a very long time since we’ve spoken sometimes I still think about him and think that maybe I’m still into him?? even though I'm not because he was an actual piece of shit and he made me feel like garbage, but I think it’s just a thing your brain does after you’ve formed a genuine connection with someone?? idk I don’t have a degree in neuroscience so I couldn’t tell you for sure

but I think it would be okay if you wanted to pursue something with guy #2, even just keeping it casual while you figure out your feelings!!

[lovroot]

my dad teaching me how to drive? bad idea!

i don’t wanna bother anybody so imma just vent abt it underneath the cut and delete it after like an hour probs

like! i knew it was gonna be a bad idea but my mom’s working and i need to know how to drive so i was like okay it can’t be that bad and we just went to this loop near by middle school to practice. but like! everything! he says! sounds angry! he can be so angry and loud sometimes and ihonestly just shut down whenever it’s directed at me. like it was in park and i accidentally stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake to shift gears and i immediately took it off but he was immediately like what are u doing and i was like sorry i forgot (which it’s been like three weeks since i last drove bc my aunt was in the hospital for a long time and this was only my third time but i guess i’m stupid) and he started going off abt how i can’t forget stuff like that and that it’ll end up killing somebody if i keep it up and i’m like fine whatever it’s just a setback i can still do this

so then i drive and go through the loop and shit but apparently sometimes i drive too close to the curb and so he’s like telling me i need to watch and drive near the center line and i’m like okay but like whenever he speaks he sounds exasperated like i should be able to get it already and like i corrected myself and we keep going for like two more loops but like it’s silent bc he only speaks up whenever i make a mistake and never when i do something right even though i know i’ve improved. 

and there’s like this one tricky part of the curb where i have to like turn right and then immediately left and it’s kinda sharp and like when i was trying to turn left i didn’t turn enough so i stopped and was gonna like reverse and try again but he was like what are u doing and he like took the wheel and turned it more to the left and started talking about how u can still go and i told him that i didn’t know if i could’ve made it and he gives like this irritated sigh

so then i make the turn and we go about driving for some more loops and like somewhere i make another mistake and he tells me that i have to take it slow and it just irritated me so much bc like here he is acting like i should know all of this already and he’s telling me to take it slow? but it’s fine whatever i’ll push thru

and so like the rest of the time i’m thinking abt how him teaching me isn’t a good idea and being slightly irriated and i’m only half paying attention to driving which is bad so then when the sharp turn comes i like don’t press on the brake enough and i overshot it so i slam on my brakes and he says smth i forogt what but it was angry and then i make to reverse but hten this jeep comes into the loop right where i’m at (bc the entrance to the loop is right htere) and so my dad tells me to just stay wher ei am so it can maneuver around us and so i do and then i finally reverse and turn but i don’t make it again and i have to press down on my brakes again and now my dad’s like exasperated and saying like what are u doing and ur not concentrating and i was like it’s hard to concentrate when ur always yelling at me and he was like when have i yelled at u this entire time and i didn’t say anything but continued driving for a few feet slowly and we saw that the jeep parked on the other side of the loop and my dad started going on abt how he feels uneasy with that car there bc he doesn’t know if i can handle it and how i might kill the driver or run over his dog or whatever so i’m like fine do u wanna practice somehwere else and so we switch spots so he can drive to my high school parking lot but like as he’s driving im just like thinking to myself how angry i was and how that’s not the proper way to teach someone how to drive but also like how i’m just fucking weak for letting him get to me so easily and like my face starts scrunching up and i’m like hell no and then i start crying?? like silently of course but like how fucking pathetic and he doesn’t even notice until he’s about to turn onto the street and so i ask if we could go home bc i know i can’t properly drive now that i’m this upset abt it and he looks over and sees me and he’s like fine. if that’s what u want. fine. we can go home and so he drives us home and i’m like tyring to hold in the crying dn i just keep thinking abt how pathetic i am and how i wish it was my mom teaching me to drive bc she wouldn’t yell at me and how my dad probably thinks i’m childish and weak for how i reacted and like uggghgjhsdklfjk i’m just. upset. i’ll probs get over it in a few hours but like for now. i’m just gonna listen to sad music and feel sorry for myself

[toyhouse-dramas-archived]

UhHhhh I can drive- I have a job and I pay bills. You guys dont know my personal life you dont even know where I live im laugHing

can we stop talking about this this has nothing to do with toyhouse. Go talk about scammer and stuff I see so much actual important stuff going on there go talk about thaT

j get you guys are mad but there is nothing you can do- and people who are 18 dont just magically get places people live with parents smh, im getting kicked out when I turn 18 so im actually I gotta be kinda independent 

okay now seriously im pretty sure this is making everyone uncomfy (I know its making me uncomfy)

and no no one here linked my server but people went to my yt and got it from there- its okay tho im- I prolly should listen to them and do it idc 

but okay fr pleaseeee stop this is pointless- 

like really realllly pointless 

im pretty sure the mods are really sick of this too (thank you for putting up with this modS i couldnt I would cry) 

but yeah um- fr this is all imma say im gonna go now- I want you all to forget about me- block me on th. Like block me please because im trying to start off and like breathe and I dont wanna get my stuff out there so im gonna wait until you all have me and bri blocked and then you wont have to deal with us

okay byE im sorrY

Mod Edit: The more you acknowledge and interact with this blog, the more attention you draw. Your tantrum drew attention to LizzyHeartCosmina, who is now banned. I get you’re frustrated, but arguing with an anonymous vent blog won’t help.

[askguyslikeus]

((answering questions under the cut!))

i do actually plan on a little story! nothing too huge ahah but i do want this to be mostly run as an askblog! i might leave yall hints in the tags of important storyish posts but for the most part just sending asks should keep the ball rolling

eastern time zone! i have a weird work schedule and usually get out by 10 am - 1 pm or have weekdays off so my posts are kind off all over the place aha!

legit whatever strikes my fancy TBH haha sometimes i get asks that i love but i cant think of anything for them and i save them for some other time if something stikes my inspo. but usually if i can think of something that has more than one word answer and makes me smile i pick that one! sometimes i even come back to an ask i didnt wanna do cause i RANDOMLY THOUGHT OF A GOOD SCRIPT or somehting hahaha

ahhh i love exploring characters different from myself!! i mean i love writing these awkward boys who use silly lingo cause i too am super awkward and use silly lingo BUT i dont play overwatch or listen to the smiths or wanna major in music theory but i feel like michael would like all these things sooo,,, its been fun exploring new things because i want to know more about them for this blog specifically. i dont want to settle on something being their fav just cause i know about it i guess and im having fun with it

it also is nice to explore thingS ive dealt with myself through these boys in a healthy way using what ive learnt about myself and others. i deal with dependency issues and i always read michael as having them as well? but i didnt deal with them in a healthy manner for a while and ive learnt how to be better about it. and just ,,, being able to help these fictional boys in a way i struggled with is really refreshing and helps me a lot

aaa sorry i mostly just, enjoy exploring issues that i can grow in myself while also trying to get a grasp on these boys if that makes any sense?

at the moment no, i already reached out to a few people to ask them to do asks, and i do have a kinda story i wanna get to so,,, at the moment im all set on guest artists! i might do another round a little later tho!

i have not been intentionally but i have a lot of friends on the spectrum and am all for headcanons for michael and jeremy as well! i base a lot of my scripts and way of speaking and how they deal with situation on how ive seen friends of mine and myself react so!! i myself am not on the spectrum but i can see both jeremy and michael being autistic !! rock on anon

usually around an hour or two since i do multiple panels ahaha but if its one like the michael in the bathroom one or the childhood one i defs spent three or four hours on those bad boys,,,, i chose a very easy to do art style for this blog so i could work on my expressions and scripts and poses and get them done quick without worrying too much about how finished things look and hoo wee go past me cause ,,, i would not have as many posts as i do now slash i PROBs would have gave up 3 asks in hoooo boyyy

ye lol

like,,,, only a month ago woops i saw a cute shippy headcanon and i was like oh wait fuck these boys are cute. then i listened to the musical and was very blindsided by the entire plot omg but!! im glad im here!!

mostly because i wanted u to be able to tell who was talking! soemtimes my handwriting is small or my pic is big so jeremy ans michael will talk like this back to back

i ate a big corndog the other day HE SURE DID why do u sound proud im the one who ate the big corndog IM JUST A SUPPORTIVE BRO

and when they talk like that i needed a way to show who was speaking? aaaa i made theirs contrast the most since they are in the most asks together! as for everyone else i kinda just do whatever im feeling hahaha

i was gunna do something like a winky face or be like maybeee~ but imma just say ye man. i love boyf riends and im workin on a little plot to get these boyos together and happy!

ALSO I DIDNT GET AN ASK ABOUT IT BUt peopl have dmed me their headcanons or post ideas and im going to say it now in bold and caps

I DONT DO ANGST FOR THE SAKE OF ANGST if i end up posting sad things its because its what the boys are feelin in a story line but for the most part this is a happy happy blog. i have a lot of shit going on in my own life and i know some people use their ask blogs or art to draw out their venting and that is very good and healthy usually and i support you! but that isnt my way of coping and this blog will not have angst. dont prompt me for angst homies and stop trying to throw triggers out there to make me make a sad post. there are a lot of good blogs than can fill ur bmc angst needs!! 

AND LASTLY CAUSE YE IMMA POST A BUNCH CAUSE THEY MADE ME SMILE :

I am SO OVERHWLEMED AND EMOTIONAL ABOUT ALL THE SUPPORT IVE GOTTEN ON THIS BLOG,,,, i went into this fandom in a really bad place and really lonely and really hating my art and idk it wasnt good but!!! making this blog is helping me grow a lot on my own as an artist but also everyone else enjoying it as much as i am ??? i die every timeee aaaaaa yall what th heckkkkk,,,,, 

THANK U SO MUCH EVERYONE I APPRECIATE U ALL A LOT??? im glad ur enjoying my silly askblog idk im emotional im sorry aaa

hope i keep u guys entertained and u enjoy where i take these two!

there were some asks that were sent to me that i plan to answer soon in the form of asks so i didnt answer them but thank u for sending me questions guys!! 

[notreblogs]

I vented

I need to stop feeling bad when i notice that someone surpassed my drawing skills. I feel so good for them and I love the art but the contradicting feeling of defeat dawns on me when i think i could be drawing.

art is not a competition but it’s so damn easy to feel like you’re falling behind more and more each day. It’s a race, not against people but against the clock

....im writing all this yet i am making every single thing i can to deliberately distract myself from doing art. but even though, given the chance, i’ll gladly stare in front of a screen instead of drawing any crap

i kinda feel like im stuck thinking that i have to draw something productive, or something that is likeable, or something that contributes to my own world building, or, more specifically to me, some pokemon to fill the pokedex

i like the ideas but i have no desire to get drawing. like, i want to have these drawings done but i don’t want to draw, i cannot start, i just can’t do it. i’m like stuck in a “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO” situation where i just can’t think of anything else but for some reason i don’t want to get back on board??????? i don’t even know if that makes any sense???

I kinda feel like some component inside me has gone bad and i cannot replace it

i can’t find a solution to this

actually i can’t find ANY OTHER solution to it, other than just draw

powerdrive through it, you’ll get momentum and through discipline and self-control you will be able to get in the zone and get back on track.

................................

i cannot type anymore knowing that and knowing that i’m not doing anything about it-- when the solution is right in front of you and you just don’t take it then

I shouldn’t really post this, not on this blog at least--- but here we go, sorry for the rant, but it helps to know someone reads this. even if you guys have nothing to say, hugs are always welcome i guess.

actually i never wanted to post this in the first place because i don’t want anyone to bring it up on a conversation or anything like that. I don’t want to go on a pep talk i hate pep talks with a passion. long shit is boring and i feel awkward all the time.

anyway sorry, i have two days alone at home so i’ll try something maybe????? need to stop myself from putting obstacles in my path

imma go have dinner now, it’s a bit early but i’m alone and there’s no point in stretching it if i’m just gonna be by myself eating...... except for the fact that there’s a soap opera I watch at night and eating early will mean feeling sleepy earlier and since im alone i’ll just slam into bed without having to be awake and appear normal in front of anyone

god damn I need something to make me draw

[ask-bts-stuff]

ahhh you're so lucky :( i know i'm going to sound stupid/whiny but you seem very nice and warm so imma vent a lil (im so sorry) i started out on here to share my art like everyone else. n it was very good for a while. my drawings would get at least 100 notes n i was happy bc lets b real. i love attention but only for the things i work on which is my art. but now that i got into bts n all i post is bts fanart, i get literally no notes. nada. n it kinda hurts ya know? +

ahhhh i just wanted to get that off my chest n tell u that you're really lucky to have a following that genuinely appreciates you. i love your art and it never fails to make me smile 💖 it motivates me to keep drawing what i want to without letting the fact that no one leaves a note affect me. i wish happiness and blessings for you, you definitely deserve it xx

Tbh i always said it and I will always say it, becoming a fanartist in the BTS fandom (or tbh just in the Kpop fandom) is hard af. You really don’t know how many good drawings gets only 10 notes or smt.Idk why (even if i kinda have my theory on it lmao) but it’s really hard so dw, it’s not that you’re not good at drawing, it’s just that tumblr sucks when u begin doing bts fanarts.

And really I feel so lucky to have you all supporting me and sending me all this sweet and adorable asks everyday. Like everyone following me is a sweetheart and i just want to hug everyone. Im just so so so glad and you all make me really happy. I wake up and I have 10+ anons saying that they love my drawings or just me and im leizfhoihfoih there’s so many people and im just emo ok i need to stop I JUST LOVE U A LOT

[taesflower-archive]

hey 😶 i'm sorry that you're feeling the way you do and i honestly know how you feel, i'm going through the same thing and i have been alone for a long time.. i don't know how to comfort you, if i knew i would've helped myself too, but i hope that you find the confidence in you that you're not a terrible person and that you're not the only one experiencing this (although i don't know how comforting this can be...). loneliness is really ugly and people come and go and you can't bring (1/2)

Anonymous said:

yourself to open to new people all the time without the confirmation that they'll be there, but i hope that you find contentment and calmness in yourself and i hope that the friends you have now treasure you the same you do and if not, i hope that you can slowly stop mourning for people who were not meant to be by your side. i'm sorry that it got so long...(2/2)

Okay Imma put a keep reading bc i don’t want to bother anyone with this anymore akjfgsak

Yeah I know and I try not to be so pessimistic... but the thing that hurts the most is the way I lost my friends irl like I seriously don’t know why they decided not to be friends with me anymore they seriously didnt give me a reason they just started to ignore me... and i know that it’s normal to lose your friends and that I’ll meet new ppl and make new friendss but when you know even tho you know all that it’s still not easy? Like my ex bff is my classmate and we still sit together tho when there’s an empty seat somewhere one of us takes it... and it’s kinda hard when she’s next to me talking with others and like sitting as far as she can like i’m some kind of germe and like looking at me like she wants to kill me with that dead expression and the time she decided to do that was remarkable too....... but the point is i’m trying to be postive and move on... accepting the past and the fact that what’s done is done really hard but today i just snapped... like earlied i just bursted into tears thank god i took a bath after that  so that’s why i made a post about it bc usually i wouldn’t i’d probs talk with kat, alex or sara about it and everyone time i do vent to them i feel awful bc i don’t want to bother them and talk too much about myself kjgsfjk and atm i don’t feel loneliness all the time i have a few of really close friends i hold really close it’s just that sometimes i... just... ugh.... i can’r english.... i just start thinking about the bad things bc it’s in my nature to do that... but yeah i regret posting that post now kasjfgks and im really sorry you’re going through that ;;; i really hope it gets better for you soon! i wish i could help...