#sorry im going to start silly posting right now im too pissed to keep talking about serious things

[2uuno]

"she should be at the club" WRONG. she should be in a crypt tampering with the bodies

[zmayadw]

Hello to all :)

Its time to continue the story. I’ll post 2 parts today, since next one is a bit short, but the second one a bit longer, so bear with me :D

Anyway, wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 5

The sun was shyly peeking through clouds when i woke up. I felt a bit woozy,  the events of last night coming back to me. My stomach ached, tears forming in my eyes as the image of Jake leaving flashed before my eyes. „Good morning, hun.“ It was Doris, worry still written all over her face. „You gave me quite a scare last night. Are you allright,hun?“ she asked. „Yeha, I will be, thanks Doris.“ I said, whiping those tears away. „Oh, dont you worry, hun, he'll come arround.“ She smiled, and winked at me. „Sorry?“ i said. „The guy that was here yeserday. A girl can only cry like that because of something like it.“ She said, gazing at the wall, like remembering something similar herself. I gave her the best forced smile i could make „I hope your right, Doris, i really do.“ „Oh, trust me, hun. I can bet you he will.“ She smiled at me so warmly, gave me my breakfast, and left me to to it. I didnt really have much of an apetite, but i forced myself to eat, and i drank some tea. I took my phone, texting Jessy, asking if she might come arround today. She replied quickly that she's actualy on her way here already, and i was glad for it. I could really use her company right now.  It wasnt long till her cheerful voice echoed through my room „Hey, hey, miss Reckless“ she teased. „I bring coffee and icecream.“ She waved the bags at me, but imediatly stoped seeing my face. „Oh, Maya, what happened?“ she asked, her face taking on the sadden look. That sadness came back to me, and i started crying. Jessy left the bags on the chair, quickly sitting next to me, hugging me tightly. „Let me guess“ she sarted „He texted you, didnt he?“ I shook my head, wich made her ask again. „He called?“ Again, i shook my head. She pulled away from me, a bit of curiosity on her face. „He was here?!?“ I finaly nooded. „Nice.“ She said, and i looked at her a bit confused, saying through tears „Nice? Jessy, i would not cry like a little bitch if it was nice!“. „Oh, shush, you silly, and listen!“ she stared, taking a hankerchief from the stand, handing it to me. „You said it yourself, its gonna be a tough conversation. And lets be honest, he has EVERY right to be pissed at you.“ I growled at her, but she shushed me and continued. „Wait, wait, im not done. He probably heard all the information from Lily about what happened, and im sure he 'interrogated' her for every little detail. She definatly didnt sugarcoat any of it, so he got the good picture.“ That word 'interogated' got me smiling a bit, i could totaly picture Jake naging Lily to tell him every little bit of events that happened. „Ok, you following me. So tell me this then: if he already knew all that happened, and if he knew how you wer doing, would he come here himself, if he was that much pissed? Or if he doesnt care anymore?“ she asked, looking at me, with a cheerfull grin on her face. She got me some hope back with her words, but it quckly got replaced with despair again. „But you should have seen him, Jessy. He looked so dissapointed and betrayed by me...like i drowned that little spark of hope he had in him. I dont think he will ever want to see me again, let alone talk to me.“ She looked at me smiling. „Dont worry, Maya, im sure you're wrong about it, if i can judge by other men.“ „You and Doris both.“ I said, mumling it more to myself then to her. Jessy didnt seem to notice. „Give him some time to cool off. Maybe then you two can talk again about everything..without all this drama.“ She nudged at me, getting up and grabing one of the bags from the chair. „This needs some serious icecream overdose, like right now! „Thanks, Jessy..for being here for me.“ I said, as she handed me the spoon. „No need to thank me. You know i'm here for you, Maya, for anything.“ „I know, Jessy, right back at ya'.“ We ate some icecream in silence for a while, and i could see on Jessy's face that there was something that occupied her toughts. I poked her leg with my finger, wich made her look at me. „Whats on your mind, Jessy? I can see something is bothering you.“ i asked. She hesitated for a moment, before saying „Are you really sure you want to know?“  That got me a bit confused „Ofcourse, Jessy, you know you can talk to me about anything.“  She looked through the window, wich was now full of rain drops, and her face took on the same gloomy features as the weather outside. „They burried him yesterday.“ She said finaly, and i didnt have to ask who she refered to. „Oh..i see.“ I didnt know what more to say. „Thats why i didnt come yesterday.“ She continued. „I dont know why, but i wanted to go. I guess i wanted to be sure it was really over, you know?“ she said, her eyes getting a bit sad. „I cant belive what i'm about to say, but it was sad. Seing his dad like that, alone.“ She turned her gaze back to the window. „Jessy..its all right. Its understandable you have mixed feelings about it.“ I said. „Is it?“ she asked, turning back to me. „Isnt it crazy to care for someone, even tho he caused us so much pain, and almost ruined our lives? After all thats happened?“ now her eyes wer full of tears. I got out of bed, crouching next to her, taking her by the hand „Your not crazy, Jessy. You wer friends for so long, all of you. You all shared so much together, I saw how close all of you wer. And for that bond to be cut so suddenly and cruely..Especialy for you, since you two wer the closest...No, Jessy, its not crazy you feel this way.“ I hoped my words would make some sense to her. I could see it really bothered her so much. „Maybe you shoul talk to others about it.“ I advised. She looked at me, a bit sceptical, but i continued. „Hey, dont dismiss it so fast. And beside, eventually you guys will have to discuss those events.“  „Later sounds better to me.“ She replied, some of her cheerfullness coming back. „Whenever you guys feel up to it.“ I told her, getting up and sitting back on the bed. She got up, went to the bathroom, and when she came back she looked at me „We have to stop crying everytime im here, its almost all we ever do.!“ She grinned, and i returned her a grin of my own. „Well, lets make a pact then, shall we? From now on no more crying! Agreed?“ i asked, extendig my hand towards her, wich she took instantly, laughing „Agreed!“ She stayed with me for a while more. At some point a doctor came in informing me that if all would look ok, next week i could get discharged from hospital. That made Jessy even more happier, since she couldnt wait for me to get out of here. „Oh, dont get so excited just jet“ i grined at her, and she looked puzzled at me. „Dan cant wait it also, he said you forbid him from drinking, but when i get out you wont be able to say no to him!“ „Ohh, that hooligan! He will hear from me about that!“ she said fierce, but couldnt hide the smile. „Go easy on him, i think we all deserve one 'crazy night out', considering all.“ I told her,and she agreed, but added „Just not too crazy, please! Dan thinks he can sing when drunk, and unfortunatly we can barely keep him away from the karaoke machine at Aurora.“ „Ahh, you shouldn't have told me this, now you have to let Dan loose, i have to hear that amazing vocie of his!“ We both laughed at it. Doris entered the room „Oh, its nice to see you laugh, hun, thats the best medicine there is.“ She siad, winking at me. „Sure is, Doris.“ I said, winking back.

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

Number One Fan

Steve Rogers x Reader

a/n: a commission for @crystalizedcaramel​ that I did a while ago and forgot to post, cause Im literally the worse. 

Summary: Rule one of doing drunk karaoke - don’t let Nat record you.

There is a pounding going on in your head, a massive hangover that is most definitely a punishment for how much you drank the previous night. Stretching, you lift the blanket off your face and stare up at the ceiling, taking in deep breaths to wake your body up. It doesn’t help because you can feel a turning in your stomach, you burp, and it tastes like beer and hot wings. The girls and you had gone out for a night of winding down after several back to back missions, Steve and the fellas decided to stay behind to order pizza and watch some fight on pay per view. It was a wild night, not that you can remember, but the pounding headache is a clue as to how much fun you had.

Your stomach grumbles again and you fly out of bed, rushing to your bathroom, barely lifting the toilet seat in time – yea, you had a good night all right. After vomiting for nearly a full two minutes, you start a hot shower and begin to wash away last night’s sins – well the word sin is a bit dramatic, nothing sinful about letting loose with your friends.  Now what was sinful is your lust for a certain leader of the Avengers with his nice hard rock biceps and crushing blue eyes, assertiveness in his voice but also the kindness when he puts down the shield and is just Steve Rogers.

Apparently, it is obvious, your crush on him, to everyone on the team but Steve himself. Natasha says it is the way you look at him, the fondness in your eyes even when he’s just talking about the morning news. She says it is sweet and that you should take the chance to tell the man how you feel but why do that? You value Steve’s friendship, he is the one you go to for nearly everything and can spend hours just talking. Sometimes he talks about his life before the crash, other times he comes to you for modern education – which really means you updating him on music and pop culture.

It is always nice and fun, and sometimes you notice this soft look on his face when he is speaking to you – one that you have yet to see him give to someone else and it makes you feel special. He makes you feel special and if you tell him how you feel, what if that all goes away?

That is what holds you back.

Getting out of the shower, you dry up and walk back into the room to get change. Twenty minutes later, you are cruising the halls to the kitchen for some coffee and breakfast. The smell of bacon and eggs welcomes you as you step into the kitchen; Sam and Natasha are at the helm of the stove, one at each burner. They look up in your direction at the same time and Sam laughs noting that you look like hell.

“I feel it too,” you say, taking a seat at the kitchen island. Looking to Nat you ask her if she’s hungover too. “You look unscathed.”

She shrugs. “I didn’t drink as much as you, in fact, no one at the entire bar drank as much as you.”

“How drunk was she?”

Rolling your eyes at Sam, you glance at Natasha innocently. “…yeah, how drunk was I?”

She grins but there is something off and a sinking feeling comes over you. She nudges Sam, calling out to FRIDAY. “Can you play the video I sent to Sam earlier?”

The A.I says of course, and you turn to the holo-screen above the kitchen table, it’s you on a small stage and suddenly it all comes back like a way – drunk karaoke.

Wanda, Maria, Nat and you are drinking, except you go overboard because you are heavily in your own feelings. People are singing and you down a shot before signing up for a turn, the girls cheer you on and Nat starts to record when you get on stage.

“Hey everybody!” Your words are slurry, but your stance is stable as you speak into the mic. “Soo…I wanna come up and sing for you guys -has, has anyone ever been in love?”

The crowd hoots and hollers.

“Yeah, so there’s this guy named Steve and I’m just completely in love with him but – but I’m a big chicken shit,” you laugh and shrug, nodding to the DJ to start the song. “This one’s for Steve.”

Everyone claps and shouts as you hold onto the standing mic; guitar chords play, and you smile. “Hold me close and tell me how you feel – tell me love is real…”

Your voice is lovely, always has been and you wish Steve was here to listen – he has never heard you sing and maybe if he did, he would fall in love with you. It was silly to think about but as you continue to sing the song, you close your eyes and think of him. Think of his beautiful face, boyish smile and his warm heart – how good it would feel to have him touch you.

“Words of love you whisper soft and true, darling, I love you.”

Natasha shouts your name and your eyes open; you smile.  “Let me hear you say the words I long to hear, darling, when you’re near. Words of love you whisper soft and true – Steve, I love you…”a

The song ends and everyone applauds, a few whistles ring over the noise and the alcohol you have been consuming, fills you with warmth.

The video ends and you feel embarrassed but Sam whistles. “Damn, you got some pipes on you.”

You turn to Nat and Sam, frowning. “There is video evidence of me proclaiming my love for Steve through a song, and all you can say is I have a nice voice.”

He shrugs as he plates breakfast. “Yeah.”

“Well, thank you,” you mutter with a sigh. “I’m just glad you guys stayed in, the last thing I need is Steve seeing that performance.”

“Would that be such a terrible thing?” Natasha asks and you say yes, it would be a bad thing because Steve sees you as a friend. Her face perks up and she calls on FRIDAY. “Play the video for Steve, please. He’s in the gym.”

Your eyes wide in fear as you jump from the seat. “What the fuck, Nat!”

Sam laughs as you race out of the kitchen, shouting for FRIDAY to turn off the video. Not knowing if she is listening, you hurry to the gym apologizing to Wanda, who you bump into on the way. You are breathless as you turn the corner to the gym, but someone collides into you – a hard body and you shout in surprise.

“Shit!”

“Sorry,” Steve chuckles, holding onto your shoulders. He’s gorgeous, smiling as asks if you are okay.

“Not really. Did you – did you see the video?”

He smiles wide and nods. “I did.”

“Welp, I’m going to…” slowly you attempt to turn away, but Steve pulls you back, letting his hands fall onto your waist. Your heart is racing as he touches the side of your face and all you can do is whisper his name. “Steve, I…”

 “I never wanted to say anything, didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he explains, moving his body closer to yours. His hands feel warm against your cheek, it is everything you imagine. “I was willing to hold back my feelings if it meant I could keep you in my life but then I saw that video. You were really drunk.”

You laugh, nodding your head. “I was but I meant it all.”

Steve sighs in relief and moves his head closer to yours. He whispers, “Good, because you have to know, I love you too.”

Smiling, you close your eyes as his lips touch yours, and suddenly getting piss drunk and proclaiming your love for Steve through song in front of complete strangers was the greatest decision of your life.  Of course, Natasha is going to get hers – showing Steve an embarrassing video of you but for now, as his lips move against yours, it’s all good.

His arms slip around your waist before breaking the kiss; he leans his forehead against yours and grins. “Why didn’t you tell me you had such an amazing singing voice?”

Laughing, you shrug and place both hands on his shoulder. “Come to karaoke next time so I won’t have to imagine you there.”

Steve blushes, but leans forward and kisses you on the forehead. “I’ll be your number one fan.”

Biting down on your lip, you struggle to contain the happiness you feel knowing your life has changed for the better – the man you love, loves you back.

Sighing with contentment, you look at Steve and beam. “And I’ll be yours.”

[shyvioletcat]

idk if you already have something for how theyre gonna make up in the firefighter au but "the power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me" would be perfect im just sayin........

Me to me: Yeah only post one chapter a day... That’s an excellent plan. Also me to me: Nah you’ve already done the chapter. Just post it.

I don’t know what time zone you’re in by this is my second chapter today. So enjoy. Side note my original plan for last chapter was veeerrryyy different so you guys are very lucky I changed my plans. It was much much worse.

Masterlist

~~~~~

Aelin’s head was pounding.

She wasn’t in her bed, but she wasn’t in an unfamiliar bed either. Lysandra was still asleep beside her and would probably feel just as bad as Aelin did once she woke up. The drunker she had got last night the more pissed she was at Rowan for meeting some woman at the bar. The bar that was just down from their apartments, the bar he could have met her at all week apparently if only they had talked about it a little more. But she she had been looking forward that big grand date. Sure it was just lunch but it was the romantic gesture of it.

But instead he’d decided to meet another girl. A friend. A very good friend from the looks of it. Elide had been the voice of reason the whole time, telling Aelin not to overreact, but Manon had been the opposite. The things she said weren’t said maliciously, only pragmatically offering the negative to Elide’s positive. They had been like a demon and an angel on Aelin’s shoulders all night. From the headache Aelin was feeling the demon had fed her already foul mood and won it seemed.Then Aelin hadn’t wanted to go back to her apartment so she’d come home with Lysandra instead. 

With a groan Aelin rolled over and grabbed her phone. It was already quarter past 11, if she hadn’t cancelled her plans with Rowan she would be frantically getting ready right now for their date. That at least she remembered. Sending the text to Rowan when her confusion over who the dark haired woman had been had won over any other reasoning.

Why hadn’t he just told her?

Aelin scrolled through her notifications and saw the numerous missed calls from Rowan and a few texts. She checked her call log as saw that there was one outgoing call from her to him. Then her body stilled as she remembered something else she’d done and then covered her face with her hands.

Aelin pulled out her phone, everyone had gone somewhere else and she was minding their booth. She was going to do it. The thing that everyone had told her not to, even Manon. Manon thought there was definitely something more to the new woman than met the eye and even she had discouraged Aelin from doing this. She’d already sent the text cancelling lunch, but that wasn’t enough. She did’t want him to think she was done with him, it might just break her heart.

Stupid gorgeous Rowan, with his easy smiles and laughter with a girl that wasn’t her.

She tapped his name and put the phone to her ear. It only rang twice before he answered.

“Hello, Aelin. Are you alright?”

“Heeey Rowan,” Aelin had said. “I’m fine.”

“That’s good, it’s almost two in the morning so i was a little worried,” was Rowan’s reply.

Aelin had hummed at that. “So chivalrous.”

“I think you should hang up Aelin,” Rowan said.

Aelin shook her head even though he couldn’t see her. “I want to say something. I need to say something. I need you to know this. I told Manon you weren’t my snack. I was right of course, you’re not. But I don’t want you to be anyone else’s”

There was silence on both ends of the phone.

“You need to hang up, Aelin. Talk to me when you’re sober,” Rowan’s voice had been kind but firm.

“But —”

“No buts. I’ll talk to you soon. I’ll do the chivalrous thing and hang up for you.”

Then he hung up.

Aelin pulled the pillow she had been sleeping on from under her head and buried her face in it and let out a frustrated noise, not caring if Lysandra was awake or not. She evidently was when an arm that did not belong to Aelin thumped on top of the pillow. Aelin lifted it a little and peeked out to where her best friend lay.

“What did you do?” Lysandra asked.

“Something stupid, real stupid,” Aelin said. Aelin told Lysandra’s what she had done and when she finished her friend cackled.

“I’m sorry,” Lysandra said, still laughing a little. “It’s just, you two get so close then something just happens to get in the way. And you calling him and saying that… well at least he knows now.”

Aelin let out a heavy sigh. “What do I do now then?”

“We go to brunch, then once you no longer feel like there’s a herd of rhinos in your head we’ll work it out.”

~~~~~

After the events of the night before Rowan had decided it would be best to keep busy today and not in his apartment, where he would no doubt we waiting for sounds of Aelin’s return. After snatching a few hours of sleep he’d knocked on Aelin’s door in the mid morning but there had been no answer. He guessed she hadn’t come home last night or was out again.

Instead he wandered around the mall for a few hours, buying a couple of pairs of new jeans and a few shirts.Then he’d gone over and hung out at Fenrys’ and Connall’s house staying there for dinner but left soon after.

It was raining on the drive home, the sound soothing and monotonous on his wind shield. Aelin cancelling lunch had left a weight in Rowan’s chest, mainly because of his own stupidity. He had meant to tell Aelin about Lyria, he really had.

That was the one thought that kept running through his head, what had kept him awake even though he was bone tired. He’d been so caught up in Aelin that he hadn’t even thought about any other woman when he was with her. Aelin had bewitched him and he would gladly fall under her spell again and again.

Rowan pulled into the underground parking garage and drove straight into his parking spot. As he closed the door of his truck he remembered how Aelin had plastic wrapped it, making him half an hour late for work because he had to cut his way through. At the time Rowan had been fuming, so angry at Aelin for that silly prank. But now it only made him laugh.

Aelin had a wicked sense of humour and quicker wit. She was smart and beautiful, kind and compassionate. Rowan was hesitant to admit she was perfect but she came pretty godsdamned close. He hoped this slip up with Lyria hadn’t ruined his chances with her.

He was sure it hadn’t. Aelin had called him, wasted drunk, and he got the heavy hiny that she did want him.

Rowan reached the landing of his floor and made for his apartment. As he passed Aelin’s door he heard music playing and Rowan smiled. She was home, all Rowan needed was an excuse to drop by. He tried to think of one as he unlocked his door. He could maybe take over dessert? No, he’d have to go out and get something, there was nothing in his fridge or freezer. Dinner was out too. It was well after dinner time and he’d eaten already anyway. He didn’t have anything of hers to return. Rowan went into his bedroom, ripping the tags off his new clothes before dropping them in the basket.

Just then his entire apartment went dark and stayed that way. Power outage, pretty common in this building when it was raining. This was perfect, like for once in his life the gods were on his side. Well, maybe at least just one of them. He grabbed his phone from where it lay on the bed and flicked on the torch. Working as a firefighter Rowan was pretty well equipped when it came to emergency situations. We went to the cupboard where he stored emergency items, pulling out the torches and small portable lanterns before chucking them into the shopping bag from earlier.

Then Rowan went back into his bedroom and swapped his jeans for a pair of sweatpants, grabbed his keys and phone and left.

~~~~~

Aelin was lying on her couch messing around on her phone while music played in her apartment when the room had gone dark and the music cut out on the speaker and started playing on her phone. It was just another thing to go wrong. She’d gone to Rowan’s earlier with some ice cream but there’d been no answer so she’d come back here to mope. She’d been so stupid last night, calling him and telling him that. And she most likely had been wrong about the woman at the bar. When the lights had gone out she used the light on her phone to light the two candles that she had and laid back down on the couch, her phone on her chest. Maybe she should just call him.

Aelin picked up her phone again to do just that when there was a knock on the door. She she adjusted the robe she had slipped on over her gold nightgown, putting it on earlier to make herself feel a bit better. The rain had cooled her apartment down just enough that she was just a little too cold to wear it by itself. It was just by coincidence she didn’t have to run back into her room to grab it so she didn’t answer the door half naked.

But when she opened the door, Aelin had to admit to herself that she kind of wish she had left the robe off. Because it was Rowan Whitethorn at her door.

Aelin was a little shocked to see him, but not at all disappointed. Rowan smiled at her and she smiled right back, albeit a small one considering she was still embarrassed by her drunken phone call.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Aelin said back to him.

“I just wanted to check if you alright with the power out.” Rowan held up a bag of something Aelin couldn’t make out in the dim light.

“You’ve come to check on me?” Aelin said with a smile still playing on her lips.

“I’m very well prepared working in emergency services, I thought you might like some light in your home,” Rowan said as he took out a torch and turned it on.

Aelin didn’t say anything else, she just moved aside and to let Rowan into her apartment.

~~~~~

Thanks for reading guys! Stick with me, we’re almost there! Also if there’s an excessive amount of typos please forgive me, my eyes are super tired.

Tags: @tangledraysofsunshine // @nalgenewhore // @highqueenofelfhame // @galyxsy // @fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @http-itsrebecca // @highladyofthesith // @aelinfire-bringer // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @sleep-and-books // @3am-reading // @average-girl-at-best // @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius // @rowaelinforeverworld // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon // @tswaney17 // @mydarlingfireheart // @rowansfirebringer // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen // @vanilla28 // @fireheart-of-your-dreams // @enquires-state-building // @im-not-rare-im-rarr // @your-high-lady // @mariamuses // @ttakeitbacknoww // @vi0let-femmes // @kindofawalkingpoem // @sleeping-and-books // @armixers-unite // @velarian-trash // @queenofxhearts // @princess-galathynius // @heroesofterrasen // @ladyofstoriesandmusic // @unassumingsodalovesherbooks // @empire-of-wildfire // @brittneym15 // @camerooonchiu // @worldoffae // @mybbyfeyre // @crackedship // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books // @yourwhisperingshadows //  @thesirenwashere // @pilesofriles // @chemicha // @keshavomit // @sarahbringsoutmygay13 // @wifeofchrishemsworth // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper // @cat5313 // @judelovescardan // @illyrian-velaris // @flowerspringsea // @whitethorn15 // @whiskeybusiness1776 // @notaddictedtoanything // @thereaderandfangirl // @mynewdreamwasyou // @tintinnabulary // @the-regal-warrior // @searchingforbellarke // @queen-of-wings-and-fire // @court-of-fuck-me-daddy // @officialasianbitch //

[fillianore-moved]

this is just a very long and unfortunate list of incorrect quotes i’ve compiled for the fe3h squad + my oc (aka cassia montal, who’s the assistant teacher at the monastery and is romancing jeritza)! i just needed a way to develop her and all the relationships there more, and this is the result, so it’s completely self-indulgent, lazy and frankly pretty silly, but still i had fun and developed her and her relationships a lot during this process! @highoverseer and @koroleyva i’m tagging you two because idk anyone else who’d care at all for this flaming pile of trash packed into a fe3h package uwu 🌷🌼🌸

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byleth: how long have you been sleeping with cassia?

jeritza: that’s disgusting. and wrong. i don’t even get… why would... i…i’ve never had sex with anyone, anywhere. it’s none of your… you have… the nerve, the audacity… cassia is my colleague, technically. and she is terrible, face-wise. and how… how... do i know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with her? maybe you are. maybe you’re trying to throw me off? hmm? check and mate.

------------

cassia dies.

annette is sobbing

dimitri is heartbroken

edelgard is trying to do a satanic ritual with hubert to bring her back

claude is stapling memes to her coffin

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byleth: you dropped your dyn- dy- dyna… mite…

byleth: uh… what else have you got in there?

cassia: oh… gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and… paperclips. big ones.

cassia: uou know. just office supplies.

-----------

cassia to annette: when you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy drugs or cigarettes because you can. no. you know what else is legal to buy at 18? blades. get yourself a damn sword. a big knife is also okay.

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cassia: we both look very beautiful tonight.

jeritza: you know, if you- if you’d just said I look beautiful, I would’ve said “so do you”.

cassia: i couldn’t take that chance.

-----------

dorothea: you need a hobby.

cassia: i have a hobby.

dorothea: staring at jeritza’s face isn’t a hobby.

cassia: you’re right. it’s a profession and i excel at my job.

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cassia, looking in the mirror at 3am trying to practice self love: you’re doing great you stupid bitch..

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manuela: i didn’t want to do this, but i know one way we can get the money.

cassia: you’d make a decent prostitute.

manuela: i’d make an amazing prostitute, but i was actually talking about this guy I know.

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byleth: admit it! you like cassia!

jeritza: oh, come on. i mean, am i attracted to cassia? sure. do my days feel better when I’m around her? yeah. does she get me in ways no person ever has? indubitably. do i fantasize about her? sure, of course, but only in two positions. but do I like her? the answer is no.

-----------

cassia: when have i done anything rash or irresponsible?

claude: i keep a list if you wanna see. it’s alphabetized.

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byleth: whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

cassia: (sighing) felix’s…

felix: fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

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annette: is anyone else scared?

cassia: not really. i’ve already lived longer than i expected.

------------

flayn: what is the best way to kill someone?

byleth: kindness.

cassia: If we’re being stealthy, potassium cynaite. otherwise, anything from a knife to a bazooka works...

-----------

cassia: *crying*

byleth: i would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life

cassia: you are the WORST at this comfort thing

----------

claude: if edelgard, dimitri and i were drowning, who would you save?

cassia: you morons can’t even swim?

edelgard: teacher, it’s a hypothetical question.

dimitri: yeah, who would you save?

cassia: my time and effort.

----------

annette: The cookie isn’t sweet enough, and the texture is runny because it’s not fully baked. if I have to rate this, i would give it three points.

cassia: i made it myself…

annette: it’s out of three points.

----------

edelgard: if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird?

cassia: i promise.

edelgard: so, there’s this guy-

cassia: you can do better.

-----------

cassia, torturing a prisioner: we have ways of making you talk…

cassia: flayn, what are you doing here? you’re not allowed in here

flayn: (hands her a drawing)

cassia: did you draw this? this is so good! i promise we’ll hang it in the entrance of the dungeon so everyone can see it before they get tortured!

----------

sylvain: i rarely give compliments, teacher, but that shirt looks great. i bet it would look even better on byleth’s assistant’s bedroom floor.

jeritza: …

cassia: sylvain, are you … hitting on jeritza for me?

-----------

cassia: it’s hard being byleth’s assistant teacher sometimes, but i love the my students and that’s all that-

caspar, in the background: teacher cassia! I tried to make spaghetti in the coffee pot and accidentally broke it!

cassia: *inhales*

-----------

post time-skip, black eagles route

cassia: i need some peace and quiet...

edelgard: i’ll be quiet!

hubert: and i’ll be peace!

-----------

jeritza: everything’s going to be fine. it’s just a crush.

cassia: hey, jeritza!

jeritza: i love you.

-------------

post time-skip, blue lions route

dimitri, talking about cassia: i know you think my judgment’s clouded because i like her a little bit.

dedue: you doodled your wedding invitation

dimitri: no, that’s our joint tombstone.

dedue: ... my mistake.

------------

post time-skip, hubert’s support

edelgard: (whispering to hubert) start with a compliment! tell her she looks thin.

hubert: (to cassia) you seem malnourished.

------------

post time-skip, edelgard’s support

ferdinand, watching cassia train: she can’t be good at everything. maybe she’s a bad kisser.

edelgard: no, she’s good at that too.

ferdinand: what?

edelgard: what?

------------

sylvain: I'm grounded?

cassia: yes, you're grounded.

byleth: you disobeyed an order.

dimitri: and now we're going to bury you until you learn your lesson.

cassia:

byleth: dimitri, that's not how grounding works.

-----------

dorothea: i promised byleth we wouldn’t do anything illegal.

cassia:

cassia: Why would you lie to our resident parental figure like that?

------------

linhardt: i slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

cassia: linhardt that’s a coma

linhardt: sounds festive

------------

cassia: don’t worry, i have a permit.

seteth: …this just says ‘i do what i want.’

------------

cassia: there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents

cassia: ... and lorenz

------------

post time-skip, golden deer route

cassia: this is it

cassia: this is the darkest timeline

hilda: we just ran out of alcohol you dramatic little bitch

-----------

post time-skip, blue lions route

felix: cassia?

cassia, sighing: jeritza used to call me cassia…

felix: because it’s your fucking name

----------

cassia: WHO THE FUCK ATE ALL MY MACAROONS?! IM GOING TO KI-

annette: it was me.

cassia: KISS YOUR HEAD SO SOFT BABY, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU THE MOST RIGHT?

---------

post time-skip, black eagles route

edelgard: so what are we gonna do?

cassia: i don’t know... pizza maybe?

edelgard:

hubert:

ferdinand:

edelgard: about the war, cassia

----------

during a mock battle

ferdinand: start waving your white flag!

hilda: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER.

cassia: ... Yikes...

----------

cassia: hey flayn, do you think I could fit fifteen macarons into my mouth?

seteth: you're a hazard to society.

flayn: and a coward. do twenty!

----------

byleth: your trainee said a swear word in class.

cassia: i’ll talk to them about it..

cassia, to lysithea: what the fuck, dude...

----------

rhea: this was a 100% successful trip.

byleth: we lost cassia.

rhea: this was a 100% successful trip.

----------

sylvain, flirting with a girl: so, are you from heaven?

cassia: yes, she's a ghost...

cassia: she died fifteen years ago...

cassia: like that pick-up line of yours.

----------

dedue: felix lost cassia…

dimitri: how do you lose a woman?!

ashe: you forget to cherish her.

-----------

cassia: you like me? you like my personality?

byleth: i was surprised too.

----------

lysithea: [covers cassia’s eyes] guess who? she’s sweet, she’s adorable~

lysithea: and she’s gonna be really mad if you get it wrong!

----------

ignatz: i lose at everything. i even lost my glasses.

cassia, staring at the glasses on top of his head: i’ll help you find them for five gold...

-----------

jeritza: what are you, a cop? fuck off!

cassia: jeritza...

jeritza: okay, sorry, one more time.

priest:

priest: do you take this woman to be y--

-----------

rhea: cassia, can we speak privately for a minute?

cassia: ooooh, someone’s in trouble!

cassia : no, wait.

cassia : it’s me.

----------

cassia: wait, stop, think!

caspar: no, no, and no.

----------

bernadetta: i’m just worried about hurting their feelings!

cassia: hurting their feelings…? you just walk around all day caring about peoples’ feelings?

bernadetta: yes, of course. don’t you?

cassia: no.

-----------

byleth: you’re smiling, did something good happen?

cassia: can’t I just smile because I feel like it?

dorothea: seteth tripped and fell in the courtyard.

------------

claude: i trust cassia.

hilda: you think she knows what she’s doing?

claude: ... i wouldn’t go that far.

-----------

cassia: oh, yes, i’ll live.

cassia: but i won’t enjoy it.

-----------

cassia: you piss me off so much.

rhea: i literally just said “hello.“

cassia: yet here i am, boiling with rage.

----------

cassia: don’t worry, you’ve got everything you need to defeat them.

marianne: the power to believe in myself?

cassia: no, a knife.

cassia: stab them.

----------

petra: i’ve never done anything wrong in my life

cassia: i know this and i love you

----------

ignatz: *trips on nothing*

cassia: ha, you’re so clumsy.

(5mins later)

cassia: *aggressively punching the air* what’s your–fucking problem huh?? what–did he ever–do to you??

-----------

byleth: now we’re going to compliment the person to our right.

cassia: *looks at seteth fondly*

cassia: nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

------------

shady guy, coming up to cassia: if you care about your student you’ll come with me..

cassia: which student?

shady guy: lorenz hellman gloucester

cassia:

cassia: *turns around and walks away*

-----------

cassia: did it hurt?

jeritza: *rolls eyes* let me guess, when i fell from heaven?

cassia: no

jeritza: what?

cassia, grinning: did it hurt when you fell for me?

jeritza: ...

------------

marianne: does this make me a bad person?

cassia: marianne, there is not a force in history that could make you a bad person...

-----------

cassia: you and me? we both want the same thing.

cassia: but we’re gonna have to work... near each other.

seteth: you mean together, cassia?

cassia, turning around angrily: did you hear me say together??

-----------

cassia: annette’s at that very special age where she has only one thing on her mind.

manuela: boys?

cassia: murder.

----------

cassia: *hugs dimitri*

dimitri: what's this? what's happening?

cassia: it's going to be alright.

dimitri: why are you squeezing me with your body?

cassia: it's a hug, dimitri. i'm hugging you.

-----------

cassia: claude, can we talk, one ten to another?

claude: i’m an eleven, teacher, but continue.

-----------

mercedes: oh fiddlesticks.

cassia: look, i understand this is a tense situation but let's watch the fucking language.

-----------

linhardt: i’m busy.

cassia: do you think drinking 36 glasses of wine consecutively would make my battle senses and crest powers even more heightened or would I just die?

linhardt:

linhardt: i’m on my way.

------------

cassia: we’re engaged

jeritza: IN COMBAT

jeritza: *pulls out his sword*

------------

manuela: why does everybody always assume I'm having a stroke?

cassia: age.

dorothea: diet.

------------

leonie: i sort of did something and i need your advice. but i don’t want a lot of judgment and criticism.

cassia: ... and you came to me?

------------

cassia: what do we say when life disappoints us?

dimitri: called it.

cassia: NO--

------------

cassia: *sees someone do something stupid*

cassia: what an idiot.

cassia: *realizes it’s sylvain*

cassia: oh, that’s my idiot.

------------

cassia: ferdinand, we tried things your way.

ferdinand: no, we didn't.

cassia: i did it in my head and it didn't work.

------------

manuela: between claude, ignatz, lorenz, and raphael - if you had to - who would you punch?

cassia: no one! they are my golden deer! my students! i wouldn't punch any of them.

manuela: lorenz?

cassia: ... yeah.

------------

cassia: you need them to think that you are stronger than you actually are.

ashe: that’s what you do, right?

cassia: oh, no. my power is no illusion. i can fucking demolish you.

------------

cassia: before i do anything, i ask myself, would rhea do that? and if the answer is yes, i do not do that thing.

------------

flayn: do you really think we should stay outside or do you just not want to deal with this right now?

cassia: two things can be true...

------------

cassia: name a way to be nice to others.

dimitri: don't kill them.

cassia:

cassia: setting the bar a little low, dima, but I'll allow it.

-----------

cassia: remember that time you made me lick the swing set?

dorothea: no, i said "cassia don't lick the swing set!" then you said "don't tell me what to do!" and then you licked the swing set.

-----------

cassia: what are the signs of depression?

byleth: why are you asking?

cassia: manuela was doing laundry earlier and she dropped a sock and i heard her say ��why has the goddess forsaken me?”

-------------

cassia: i just realized. i had a terrible childhood.

manuela: yeah, i know.

cassia: what do you mean, “you know”?

manuela: look at the way you stand... people who had good childhoods don’t stand like that.

--------------

cassia: you have to learn to love yourself.

marianne: but don’t you hate yourself?

cassia: yes, but this is about you, stay focused.

--------------

hilda (with lysithea probably): REMEMBER THE PACTS FORGED BETWEEN OUR PEOPLES LONG AGO.

cassia: stop it, it's 4 in the morning.

hilda: YOU PLEDGED ETERNAL SERVITUDE.

cassia: i did not.

hilda: IN EXCHANGE WE WOULD COME TO YOUR AID IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED.

cassia: i'm not feeding you.

hilda: REMEMBER THE PACTS.

--------------

annette: hey, can you do me a favor?

cassia: i’d kill for you, but go on.

-------------

in the garden

mercedes: annette, can you grab that hoe?

annette: *grabs cassia’s arm*

mercedes: wait, that's not what I meant...

------------

flayn: hey cassia, can i go get some candy?

cassia: what did seteth say?

flayn: no.

cassia: then why do you think i’ll let you?

flayn: because seteth’s not the boss of you.

cassia, internally: it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

-----------

dorothea: if I die, my ghost is gonna haunt you!

cassia: then your ghost is going to see some disgusting stuff.

------------

hubert’s support in a nutshell

hubert, in the margins of his notebook: mywife is soft nd ilikeher

hubert: my wiwwwfie wife is visiting a noble family with the empress and i miss her

hubert: MY EWFIE IS HOME MY WIFE

------------

felix: see? this is my “i don’t care” face.

cassia: that’s your normal face.

-------------

cassia: of course, i care about everyone in this house equally!

claude: we were attacked while you were away.

cassia: is marianne okay???

-------------

cassia: if edelgard jumped off a cliff, would you?

hubert: *stares into the distance with a blank expression*

cassia: hubert!

hubert: well- er- i mean, it depends.

cassia: DON’T JUMP OFF A CLIFF!

hubert: well, i wasn’t planning on it.

cassia: but if edelgard did, you would!?

hubert: *stares into the distance yet again*

cassia: HUBERT!

-------------

lysithea: if i run and leap at cassia, she will almost certainly catch me in her arms.

lysithea: COMING IN! *runs at cassia*

cassia: NO! I’M HOLDING COFFEE!

cassia: *drops the cup and catches her*

------------

leonie: why are you helping me so much?

cassia: because my life is a mess right now and i compulsively take care of other people when i don’t know how to take care of myself.

------------

hubert’s support, post time-skip

dorothea, barging into the library: you two ARE having sex!

hubert: really? cassia, why didn’t you tell me? i would’ve put my book down.

------------

cassia: we have fun, don’t we?

ashe: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

------------

cassia: why are we laying on the ground?

sylvain: you got knocked down so i laid next to you so everyone would just think we were chillin’.

------------

petra: i did something terrible.

cassia: it’s okay, i have a shovel.

petra: wait, what do you think i did?

cassia: it doesn’t matter, no one will ever know.

------------

seteth: time for bed.

flayn: cassia says that I can stay up as long as I want, and YOU need to die.

seteth:

seteth: what the heck, cassia-

------------

ingrid: i think rhea is in trouble!

cassia: alright... struggling to give a fuck, if i’m honest.

------------

marianne: i made a friendship bracelet for you!

cassia: i’m not really a jewelry person.

marianne: oh, you don’t have to wear it.

cassia: no, back off, i’m gonna wear it forever.

-----------

manuela: i’m playing a new drinking game. it’s called “Every time i’m depressed, i take a drink.”

dorothea: that game exists. that’s called alcoholism.

manuela and cassia: *take a swig simultaneously*

--------------

during hubert’s support

cassia: i love you. you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

hubert: i’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you?

cassia: yes.

hubert: … now i’m starting to feel a little sorry for you.

--------------

cassia: alright, listen up you little shits.

cassia: not you, bernadetta. you’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

--------------

cassia: do you ever wanna talk about your emotions, felix?

felix: no.

sylvain: i do!

cassia: we know, sylvain.

sylvain: i’m sad...

cassia: we know, sylvain.

--------------

cassia: since when is babysitting them my—

cassia: oh, my god, that’s exactly my job.

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Hey I saw your ships are open again. I wanted to ask I f you could make me one for Queen and the boharp cast? I am 5’0 black curly locks that go to my mid back, green eyes pale skin and I have lots of earrings and piercings in my ear. I love to play the guitar, singing, listening to music and watching tv shows and movies. I am quite the sassy person, also sarcastic at times but I am also a very good listener and I love to smile and just goof around. Well yeah that’s it I suppose.

Hello!!! Hi sorry this took so long but im HERE NOW gosh i had so many requests before this and i already knew who i wanted to ship you with from the moment I saw this ahhhh

Anyways here goes (it’s all below the cut hehe i dont wanna clog anyones dash)

For BoRhap, I 100% ship you with Joe Mazzello!

Joe is the perfect match for you, just because he can keep up with your wit and humor so well! He loves how sassy and sarcastic you are, and his energy fuels your sharp tongue and goofy sense of humor. 

He loves goofing off more than anything (see above gif), so he’s always trying to embarrass you in public, but you just end up outdoing him anyways.

“Hey, babe, look!” he’d yell almost tauntingly, daring you to look up at him from your phone as you tried to post your picture with Lucy. When you’d look up, he’d be break-dancing rather terribly to the music playing, Ben cheering him on and recording it while simultaneously trying to not die from laughter.

But you wouldn’t be embarrassed - in fact, you’d go in and show him up, stepping between him and Ben’s phone so that you were the main focus instead. He’d try to have a dance battle with you, but would quickly give up once he realized that you were a superior dancer/master at silliness.

Ben’s video would end with Joe picking you up, pretending to be mad and storming off with you as you squealed and laughed in his arms, begging Lucy or Ben, or really anyone to help you.

Speaking of helping, you love helping him catch up on TV shows and movies once he’s been away for a while. Filming takes up a lot of his life once he’s got a job, so he misses out on a lot of good movies and shows when he’s away, which prompted you to start keeping lists of everything he needs to watch once he returns from whatever he’s working on. 

He loves this. A lot. 

What else does he love? You in baseball caps. Whether or not you like baseball, Joe is a big baseball guy, so seeing you in a baseball cap, seated next to him in Yankee or Dodger Stadium? That’s heaven to him. 

He sneaks cute little pictures of you during the game, too. A lot of them. He won’t stop until you’re grinning and trying to take his phone, and even then, he’ll sneak a few more. 

They’re his favorite pictures of you - but he doesn’t post them on social media, preferring to keep them for himself. While Joe Mazzello is no stranger to social media, he feels oddly protective about his pictures of you. He instead saves them for himself, then looks back on them all the time when he’s been away from you for a while.

While we’re on the topic of being away for a while, Joe also has a tendency to ask you for videos of you singing/playing the guitar when he’s been away. Your favorite time was when he was working on BoRhap.

“Just one!” he’d begged, his voice pleading with you over the phone to send him a video of you playing a song, any song. He didn’t even care if it was Wonderwall, or some other overplayed song. “I just want to hear your voice, babe.”

“You are hearing my voice, right now,” you’d giggle, and Joe would groan melodramatically at your cheeky way of turning it around on him. “Alright, alright, give me a minute,” you’d finally assented, Joe cheering on the other side of the phone as you grinned, shaking your head.

Once you’d sent the video, it was a moment before you’d heard back from him, but he also sent a video in response. Clicking on it, you were immediately greeted with the loud sound of him practically yelling in excitement, his face taking up the screen as he situated the phone in his hand so it was easier to hold. 

“You’re a natural!” he’d yelled, and then he’d received a small flick on the ear from an unknown person, who turned out to be Ben once you’d heard his voice admonishing Joe for being so loud while they were filming.

The camera had then turned to Ben, who’d waved and blew a kiss once he realized he was being recorded. 

Joe quickly took the phone back, focusing it on his face again with a faux stern look. “Don’t catch that kiss, babe. Let it fly. Okay, wait, catch this one. I love you. Bye!” He’d then blown you a kiss himself, and the video cut off as you’d seen Ben’s hand come into the frame, grabbing the ‘kiss’ and laughing as Joe yelled in protest.

When it comes to looks, Joe is absolutely obsessed with you. The first time he’d went on a date with you, he’d accidentally admitted that he first noticed you because of your hair and eyes. 

“It was just so striking, I had to get to know you,” he’d said, almost blushing as he recalled the first time he’d met you. You were both at a mutual friend’s party in NYC, and he’d actually gone above and beyond to come talk to you - meaning he nearly tripped over a rug on his way over. 

But he thought you hadn’t noticed, so he wouldn’t tell you that, and you’d never admit that you actually had seen his stumble. You thought his clumsiness was endearing, and it’s the reason you’d entertained his attention in the first place.

“What do you mean by that?” you’d asked, hiding your pleased smile behind your glass of wine as you watched him over the rim. 

“I mean, look at you,” he chuckled, gesturing to you and smiling widely. His eyes, which were always so animated, looked positively enchanted as he looked over you for a second. “You’re beautiful, how could I not be blown away when I saw you? That curly black hair...“ he’d trailed off, dramatically clutching at his chest as he feigned breathlessness. 

That had provoked a delighted giggle out of you, and he’d grinned goofily as he also took a drink of his wine, chuckling at himself.

And that’s how you spend most of your time together. Laughing, because nothing is better for the two of you than the feeling of making each other laugh.

Plus, Joe is damn funny, and so are you. Win-win.

For Queen, I ship you with.... drumroll please.... crickets.... Brian May!

My reasoning? Well, Brian is a bit more reserved than you, and it took him a minute to warm up to you in the beginning. Your sense of humor was a bit more advanced than his was, and he could hardly keep up with your banter, which got him flustered.

“Brian, can you help us out here a bit? You’ve been tuning Red for a fucking hour now, I think it’s good,” Roger had complained, you and him struggling to figure something out on one of the amps in the studio since John had stepped out. 

Brian had shrugged, setting Red aside and joining you two in your pondering of what the hell was going wrong. Brian almost jumped when you spoke, it was so quiet between the three of you.

“She, Rog,” you’d chastised, giving Brian a knowing look. But Brian had no idea what the hell you were talking about, and he cocked his head to the side as he looked at you curiously. “It’s a she.”

“What’s a she?” Brian had asked, completely forgetting about what Roger had just said moments ago. “The amp?”

“No, silly, Red,” you’d laughed, making Brian blush lightly as he felt like an idiot once he remembered Red, sitting back on the couch. “I reckon Red is a she, just like boats are shes. I call my guitar a she. You’ve got to treat your women right, Rog.”

“Um, yeah,” Brian stuttered out, almost confused by what was taking place. He wasn’t quite on your level, but that was okay, because Roger wasn’t either.

“What are you on about?” Roger had asked, shaking his head and not really wanting an answer. 

But he got one anyways. 

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know about that, would you? Treating women with care?” you’d taunted. Brian snorted and covered his mouth as Roger had protested weakly, but from then on, Brian began to appreciate your quick comebacks and seemingly unending stream of jokes.

On the other hand, he really loves that you can sit back and listen to his rants when he needed to vent. Brian is an emotional type of man, but he’s not great at expressing his frustrations in the heat of the moment, which makes him even more frustrated with himself and leads to the bottling up of his feelings until his breaking point.

The night he’d realized he’d fancied you, he was at one of those breaking points. You were both hanging around the van, the other boys still fooling around at the pub after the gig. Brian had left early, annoyed by a spat with Roger earlier that hadn’t been resolved due to poor communication. You were already on the van, sleeping in the backseat up against the opposite window when he’d climbed in.

“Oh, sorry, love, did I wake you? Shit,” he’d muttered, sitting seat across the row of seats from you when you sat up halfway to rub your eyes, still drowsy and bleary with sleep. It was awkwardly cramped in the back, and his knees were almost up to his chest as he sat there, not sure how to position himself. You remained draped across the seat, your feet resting just next to his side

“No, no, it’s alright,” you’d murmured, stretching before looking over at him and finding that he looked a bit annoyed. “You alright?” you’d asked, turning on your side and patting the seat in front of you, offering a more comfortable spot for him.

He’d obliged, laying down in front of you and letting you be the big spoon as he sighed. “I’m just pissed off, Roger doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say half of the time...”

And from there, he’d ranted for at least an hour, barely pausing to hear your input before going on. You’d listened the entire time, nodding and playing with his hair as you did so. And when he’d run out of words to say, he finally noticed that you were braiding his hair, still attentively waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry if I bored you,” he’d almost cringed, biting his lip as he turned on his side so he was looking up at you. You laughed softly, readjusting so that you were comfortable laying on your side next to him, and you’d dropped the braid as you’d propped your head up on your hand.

“Well, you want to know what I think?” you’d asked, Brian nodding quickly and staring up at you as you started in with your advice for him.

The entire time you’d spoke, he’d been staring at different things, admiring you. 

He admired the way your green eyes flitted around the van as you spoke, as if you were looking for the right words to say, then plucking them out of the air in that small, cramped van and putting them to use.

Also, he admired the glint of the moonlight on your piercings. Although he wasn’t a big piercing man himself, he loved them on you. In that moment, he’d realized that they only added to your beauty, which was already very present.

He’d taken a small strand of your hair in his hand as you spoke, admiring the way your skin contrasted so greatly with your hair, and he also appreciated that he wasn’t the only person having to deal with curly hair. 

Once you were done speaking, he’d smiled toothily. “You know, for someone who’s always got something sarcastic on the tip of their tongue, you sure do give good advice.”

You’d smiled at that, and that smile was what had gotten him, hook, line, and sinker. 

“Hey, no making out in the van unless it’s me!” Roger had yelled suddenly, throwing open the door as he crawled in, making his way on top of you two, and you’d both laughed loudly as a drunk Roger shoved his way between the two of you, making Brian nearly fall to the floor.

What a shit.

[todays-jeremy-heere]

Recap Post

So I’ve had a couple requests for what the fuck has happened so far from newer people to our dandy set of blogs, here it is! Keep in mind this is all mostly improv so if it’s a bit all over the place then oops lol rip. (Older people and other today blogs, feel free to yell at me if I miss anything.) 

NOW INCLUDING LINKS TO CERTAIN IMPORTANT THREADS

The three not main characters in the bmc group are:

Madeline, Thalia (George’s character from Smartphone Hour), and Dustin Kropp

Let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start :)

So the first activity of these blogs is nothing special, just silly conversations, teasing each other, and because no one is together yet, flirting. But eventually, people pair up so those people are...

Brooke x Rich, Michael x Jake and Dustin x Jeremy

Thalia asks Jeremy and Mr Heere if she can move into their house because she has an abusive father she wants to get away from, they say yes and now she lives with them. Sometime after this Thalia pairs up with Madeline. 

Jake and Chloe keep having childish arguments because they are both still salty about thier past relationships. Jake brings up how Chloe sexually assaulted Jeremy at the Halloween party last year. Tension happens between Chloe and Jeremy where they both think the other hates them.

After a bit Thalia and Madeline break up, this causes Thalia to spiral and she gets a Squip. She is very clearly not ok and whenever anyone tries to reason with her she says she doesn’t need help because she’s perfect. Then, of course, it goes wrong because it always does and she starts threatening to murder Jeremy, whenever Dustin tries to scare her off she does the same to him. There’s a massive completely improvised fight scene at Jeremy’s house (we were all freaking out on the mod discord lol), in which Chloe gets a concussion, Rich nearly gets murdered and Thalia tries to force feed Jeremy Mountain Dew Green...

When everyone wakes up the next day you have some cute shipping junk between some of the couples since their SO was nearly killed. Chloe and Jeremy realise they both don’t hate each other because they actually TALK TO EACH OTHER TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Madeline have clear romantic chemistry and everyone can see it but them, they ‘fake’ flirt and go on ‘fake’ dates while saying ‘I cAn’T POsSibLY sEE HoW ShE cOUld LIkE mE’. It’s cute, we all love it.

But it goes wrong when Chloe says that Madeline should keep some distance from her because she’s scared of whatever’s going on between them and that obviously hurts Madeline because they have become really close friends since the blogs started. Madeline spirals like Thalia did and gets a squip, but this time only Chloe is there to help her. Dustin was going to help but Jeremy keeps saying that he can’t go and he’s scared and he doesn’t want ‘this’ so being a good boyfriend, Dustin tries to help him. Jeremy just tells him there’s nothing wrong and Dustin should go help, Chloe. Dustin doesn’t like being left in the dark so he goes (unhappily) but he doesn't get there in time to help Chloe (I SWEAR THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179026525980/jeremy-whats-going-on-why-are-people-saying-i). So Chloe and Madeline have a fight scene and Squip!Madeline loses. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179030653474/listen-up-you-tic-tac-bitch-chloe)

When Maddie is in the hospital with her you get some really cute lesbian time with Chloe talking to a sleeping Madeline and what not its cute. https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179068636659/14102018

Eventually, the two of them (FINALLY) get together <3

Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mental state is getting obviously worse (posts with crossed out text, talking to ‘himself’, stuttering more, ect ect.) but whenever anyone tries to see what’s wrong he gets very defensive to the point of being kinda rude.

Dustin tries to get him to open up one final time, Jeremy says some stuff he shouldn’t have and Dustin breaks up with him, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179194061640/101818 (Note, Dustin was completely justified and not an asshole, Jeremy was hurting both of them. https://todays-dustin-kropp.tumblr.com/post/179194994713/seriously) This sends both of them into a bad place where Dustin is pretty empty and Jeremy is panicky and defensive (and it's very obvious his squip has reactivated, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179216021025/this-is-your-fault-n-no-he-deserves-better-than ).

Chloe and Dustin are good friends so she and him help each other out with their shit its sweet.

Whenever people try to help Jeremy he lashes out and gets very defensive. It’s very obvious at this point that during the fight with Thalia he was squipped, he talks to himself and flinches at nothing, but whenever anyone accuses him of that he adamantly denies it. He refuses to drink mountain dew red.

Chloe tries to talk to him but he yells at her and when she calls him out he starts stuttering an apology and she goes ‘Jesus stop stuttering like that.' This is the wrong thing to say to someone who spent almost a year of their life shocked whenever the speech impediment that they cannot control showed itself. Jeremy gets fucking pissed, obviously. (https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179285070845/hey-uh-ive-checked-up-on-dustin-but-how)

Madeline sends him a ‘not so friendly suggestion’ to not shout at her girlfriend. When Jeremy says how she commented on his stuttering Madeline mocks him with a fake stutter and is no help whatsoever. She says she’s sorry that they care enough to ask him what’s wrong. Jeremy has asked multiple times that they treat him like they usually do, even when he’s going through a bad time because he wants one constant thing so he says ‘If you cared about me you’d leave me alone.’ (https://todays-madeline-monroe.tumblr.com/post/179286238797/hey-unfriendly-demand-dont-fucking-yell-at-my)

Jeremy gets worse, anons try giving him an intervention, doesn't work. Chloe tries apologizing but she accidentally makes Jeremy have a mental breakdown which is always fun.

Meanwhile, Thalia finds out that a guy from her English and PE classes got her pregnant. Her mum also died, Chloe is very supportive to her and lends her a dress for the funeral. She generally isn’t having a very good time right now but everyone she knows is being so nice to her and she’s very grateful. (https://todays-thalia-mcarthy.tumblr.com/post/179404119923/hey-i-need-to-borrow-a-dress-for-my-mothers)

In preparation for Jake’s party, Dustin lets Jake know that he’s allergic to red food dye so that it isn’t in any of the food and Dustin doesn’t need to go to the HOSPITAL.

Jeremy and Chloe made up, Jeremy apologises for yelling and Chloe apologises for commenting on his stutter. They end up hugging and Chloe lets him know that even though he wants to be left alone she’s still there for him, when Jeremy starts replying with an explanation of why he can't really talk about it his squip shocks him. Rather than freaking out Chloe calmly deals with it and Jeremy indirectly confirms that he does indeed have a squip. They establish a code so that they can talk about it, green = its talking, yellow = it shocked me, and red = help. Madeline (who acted a lot worse) still hasn’t apologised and Jeremy is still mad at her. This is the post where this goes down >>> (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179403825299/h-hey-i-im-sorry-for-s-shouting-at-you)

Chloe finally gets Dustin to open up about how he’s feeling because up until this point Dustin has just been taking care of everyone but himself. Dustin accidentally implies he’s a murderer to get Chloe to not call him an ‘egg’ but they resolve it. He isn't a murderer (probably). Chloe is everyone’s mother. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179437193524/someones-been-anonymously-flirting-with-your-ex)

Chloe encourages Dustin to talk to Jeremy and sort their shit out but it goes wrong when Dustin kisses Jeremy twice and Jeremy, who did not consent to that, yeets outta there because he was not ready to do anything like that with Dust bin again and he goes to Chloe’s house and he is obviously upset and he says he feels ‘gross’.

Chloe mother is having none of that shit so she goes to yell at Dustin, she told him to talk to jeremy not to kiss him. Chloe is very mad and not thinking straight (me neither chlo) so she kisses him to try and do a tase of your own medicine type thing but Dustin is just like ‘ew im gay’. Everyone is annoyed at Chloe for this because WHAT THE FUCK CHLOE DO NOT KISS A GAY GUY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL ESPECIALLY WITHOUT CONSENT.

Madeline, her gf, says that she is terrified of how easily Chloe can hurt people like that and she breaks up with Chloe.

So now Chloe is kinda spiraling but she doesnt get a squip because she’s not AN IDIOT.

Jeremy and Dustin kinda make up, Dustin is obviously extremely sorry and Jeremy gets the circumstances and is way too forgiving in general but yeah. It’s unspoken that they are ok with eachother but they boht kinda silently agree to forget that ever happened and to move past it.

Thalia in general isn’t very mentally ok and she tries to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but Dustin saves her.

AND THAT’S WHERE WE ARE NOW FUCKERS HAVE A NICE DAY.

[straw-bana-blog]

lmao why are people getting so shitty about us getting mad??? It’s almost like they think we’re just gross horny ppl who only care we won’t get porn anymore,,, 🧐

Listen, if I want porn, you know where I go? To porn sites. I sure as fuck never look anything up here. Why? Spam, loli and shota, creepy ppl I don’t wanna interact with.

So why am I mad?

1. Because of the timing. I don’t fucking think its a coincidence that right after apple takes tumblr off the store, they fucking scramble and start deleting blogs left and right, a lot of which did nothing wrong, then turn off safe mode and clear out the nsfw tag (and other related ones) and finally ban nsfw content outright.

They have known about the cp and the fucking bots and the nazis and EVERYTHING for YEARS. I’m sorry but it’s true. They will never admit it, obviously, but they’ve been ignoring it and excusing it by saying ‘oh how could we know!! Our site is so large we can’t keep track of everything!’ Meanwhile waves of tumblr users have been making posts and reporting it to them. 

They’ve had the time to fix it, they COULD have been working on an algorithm all this time to fix it, but no. It wasn’t a concern until suddenly ppl couldn’t download their shitty app anymore (which is just. Riddled with issues of its own anyway). So they throw together an algorithm that doesn’t work, then decide to just nuke it all because it’s just easier that way.

2. It’s literally going to destory the site. I’m sorry, YOU might stay and try to cling to this garbage site because of xyz, but I’m not. You can make excuses, you can try and convince yourself that you don’t care, you’re just here for the fandom/the art/the community, whatever, but the truth is? This is the last step for me.

Tumblr has been a hellsite for years, its been a mess and its become a joke. Everybody laughs about how they don’t wanna be here and they can’t wait for it to die. But nobody leaves because tumblr seems to survive anything.

Nobody’s happy here anymore. Sure, they might be happy with the community side of things, the actual people on here, but NOBODY is happy with the site. I know its hard to please everybody these days, but pissing off everybody? Its seems impossible, but tumblr managed it! All the bugs, the lack of communication with any decision, just everything. Its not a good site.

People are going to lose income from this, possibly friends who only talk to them through tumblr and get their blogs deleted. A lot of people are just going to leave. Because yeah, maybe I don’t get my rocks off going through the nsfw tag on here, but a lot of people do, and you know what? You can make fun of them for leaving, you can call them horny and gross but at the end of the day, its going to be a lot of people. Even if they’re like me and go to other sites, for a lot of people its a big issue. They want the OPTION of seeing nsfw stuff, even if they won’t ever seek it out. They don’t want to have to worry about being censored of having their blog deleted for showing some fucking nipples. 

And when they start leaving, some of their friends will too, and more and more until eventually no one’s left! Sure, I might be wrong, it could still survive, people might not actually leave, but the core of tumblr will permanently be changed, no matter what happens after December 17th.

3. Its just further proof that Tumblr just doesn’t get it’s users. This one has been coming for a while, honestly. We all know this. We makes jokes about it. They make silly cosmetic changes and ignore the bugs, they randomly go on purges of normal accounts, but the bots seem untouched, tags that are KNOWN to be full of cp/abuse/other shitty things have just been left alone!

They think we want all these fancy new features when really we just want them to address the things that are already wrong with the site.

And now that they’ve been caught out for their biggest issue that’s been going on for so long, they’re finally fixing it. But not in a way that’s good for the site, certainly not in a way we want. It’s a lazy way, nuking all nsfw stuff so they can claim to be family friendly and hopefully get back in the store and stay in apples good books. It’s so they won’t have to make an actual algorithm and keep on top of it in the future.

No, they’ll just make another shitty algorithm that targets all nsfw, have their users report things that aren’t kid-friendly and then they’ll be good again!

Except we never wanted that, never asked that. And if they had have just listened to us in the first place, they could have gotten started fixing the issues a long, long time ago. They could have had enough time to come up with a proper solution rather than just nuking the entire fucking site.

So I think we have a right to be mad. You can make jokes all you want, but we’re pissed because we have all wanted tumblr to get better for so long. We have waited, we have tried asking them, talking to them, begging them to fix things. They don’t listen.

So for a lot of us this is just. Too far, finally. We’re done waiting for them to step up and become a better platform. They’ve proven they don’t listen, they’ve proven they don’t really care about anything except profit. So I’m mad. Because I’ve made excuses for them in the past, justified using the site because of the community aspect, but they’ve finally made it impossible for me to do that.

I’m not going to be using the site anymore. And you can make fun of me for not leaving sooner, you can stick around. I don’t really care. I’ve spent years on this site just trying to ignore all the flaws. But I’m done! I’m sick of waiting for the next bug, the next shitty decision, the next fuck up.

I’m just gonna go to other sites from now on.

So here’s my Twitter, my Ao3 and my insta is @awuum.

Edit:Oh! I also do have a discord, so if you want that then just simply ask!

[doc-boredom]

sorry im kinda new to your blog and i dont really understand this drama or whatever with the people that keep sending you asks? are people mad at you for writing rpf or the shipping or something? i have no context for whats going on

Oh hello friend let me tell you

THE DRAMA

There’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom  but i really wanna tell this story cos it’s so funny to me

also read more because it gets LONG

So once upon a time Natalie got into a group called TWRP. Amazing wonderful LOVELY group of aliens (aliens and robot, technically? lore is silly fun and also part of this story so get ready to return to this) from the future of the 1980s -glorious chorus of heavenly angels in the distance- 

at the same time! natalie was also drafting up the VERY beginnings of her space pirate epic SWIFT LIKE MERCURY, the idea was this: Julian a space pirate, ding dong the reluctant alien space prince, but who would be in julian’s crew!? lots of suggestions were thrown around in YE OLDE DINGDULIAN CHAT back in august and none of them worked. maybe this wouldn’t be a fic, maybe it was all for naught.

and then the sexy sexy cone man hip thrusted his way into her life.

that IS to say I fell in love with TWRP at the NSP show i went to with my best friend. i didn’t know WHOMST the fuck they were so seeing them come out in stage in full costume HIGH OFF MY ASS was probably one of the most memorable things in my life. We drove back to the hotel, DD and Julian were streaming katamari, I bought tickets for ANOTHER TWRP show in my hometown that were twelve dollars and then I found 

THE WIKI

COMMANDER MEOUCH SOMETHING SOMETHING SPACE PIRATE

I was flabbergasted. NOT ONLY was there lore for this amazing band BUT here was the answer staring me right in the face. JULIAN WAS A FURRY, HIM HAVING A LION MAN AS HIS SECOND IN COMMAND WOULD BE PERFECT. i quickly told the chat (to which they all went ??? and didn’t quite take to it at the time) and then promptly CRASHED until the following morning.

so! i woke up, our CO adventure continued (we saw IT) and I started to discuss some plot ideas with the chat. At the same time I started to actually glance at the tumblr fandom. Oh wow! Everyone HAD THEIR OWN IDEAS! It was open to explore! How fun! They created face canons and personalities and stories for the boys and I’d be damned if my crazy plot making ass (who years before had looked at supernatural and said “crowley become the first cross road demon by making a deal with judas which killed judas and brought jesus back to life, thus creating the resurrection story” and was going to write a whole past lives destiel fic spanning back to ADAM AND EVE) wouldn’t take that and run. I made the post. TWRP IS GONNA BE IN MY OP FIC!!! I was so excited to start this, to make something amazing.

“dont put twrp in your OP fic”

I looked at the ask in COMPLETE confusion. wait! they didn’t even know HOW I was going to put them in! they could literally just be playing music in a scene! my petty scorpio ass felt a rage of which i had not felt in months. “fuck you.” it said. “NOW I HAVETO WRITE THE FIC YOU BITCH.”

(spite was one of the biggest driving forces in creating SLM and to me that’s why i think you see the story and the voice of it change over time because it became a thing of love but thaT’S NOT THE POINT)

so here i am having a grand ol’ time and im coming up with my boys and im like YEAH HELL YEAH and all my dingdulian friends are like oh hey i actually LIKE TWRP? and i got a PM from someone who will remain anonymous but who is a close friend of mine now

“hey, loving all the new stuff you’re bringing to the fandom!” they started. there was a bit more conversation and then IT happened.

“Just be careful about shipping.”

I looked at the message and another quickly followed. “nsfw gets weird too”

my scorpio ass, also fueled by love of all things sexual and romantic, looked at this with a growing sense of dread. I HAD ACTUALLY BEEN SETTING UP A SMALL SUNG AND MEOUCH SHIP. WELL SHIT! THAT HAD TO GO APPARENTLY?! I told my friends and we all rolled our eyes but we ACCEPTED IT. That’s what it was apparently.

Until I thought about Havve fucking Ding Dong with his robot dick while Sung held him in place and played up to DD’s praise kink

“oh no.” i said softly because that one fucking day dream planted the seed of needing to do something. sung would be so loving and so wonderful and who was i to let that just slip through my fingers! so i just approached cremedoodle (creator of WW, RR, and FF) and went “haha uh, what about ww chris and sung for a threesome in the fic crazy right”

and it wasn’t THAT crazy

especially when it became just WW and Sung

and god damn it were they in LOVE

“we can’t do this.” i said after a few hours of us coming up with all this ROMANTIC shit and some sexy shit too let’s be honest, it’s me after all. “oh god we’re doing this, aren’t we?”

so we decided to do it. fuck it. all caution thrown to the wind. the moment sung and ww “met” over the vid feed in chapter 6 i got a feeling of intense dread in my stomach. i couldn’t believe it, i was really doing this, they were really going to be in LOVE oh  my GOD.

no comments.

oh.

beach bonfire chapter where julian and dd point out how fucked sung was since he was obviously into ww 

no comments.

CHAPTER WHERE THEY WERE DRUNK AND MAKING OUT.

NO COMMENTS.

In that moment i realized something very sad but also very liberating.

the twrp fans that were all fucking awful weren’t reading my fic.

i wanted them to read it. i had put time into it. i wanted them to see my budding lore and like it, but at the same time the OP fandom was taking to it so well and enjoying TWRP so i said fuck it, ill take it.

We started to talk about Ring Rang and Phobos, sarah and I started talking about Meouch and Liara. it was going to be good, it was going to be fun.

and then i fucked up

that’s right

me

i came home from a crazy trip in MN and I was in a shit mood and I accidentally published Sung/WW fluff drabbles in the tag

I got fucking ripped a new one. i was a piece of shit for even ever thinking that was okay. “YOU’RE BEING DISRESPECTFUL! THEY’RE REAL PEOPLE! DON’T DO T HIS!”

yeah you read that right.

TWRP fanDUMB thinks that my adorable sweet Lepid Phobos, with his big eyes and his missing wings and his penchant for romance novels, my hyperactive sung with his star singing and his empathatic core WERE THE SAME GUYS ON STAGE.

This is literally what all of this drama is about.

It was in that terrible slew of fucking stupidity that I realized I didn’t care. It was TOO late at that point. They should have seen it sooner. They should have gotten me sooner. I had somehow slipped under the radar and I had beat them, in a strange sense, because not only did I care

i was going to keep doing it.

FAST FORWARD TO THIS YEAR (i know, this story is still going) i make a nsfw, i start posting my sung/ww extra chapters there because im too much of a pussy to put them in the fic still. my friend gets me to write a meouch/dd/julian fic. im just about to post a havve/sung thing when IT happens.

The fake screenshot.

a blog that posted jUST this and a post about the device (an album by the band) put this out into the open and deleted IMMEDIATELY afterwards. the fandom went into shitstorm mode. i cried on and off the whole day because i was being harrassed by anons and my friends were too. 

but the more i looked at it

the more i started to REALLY understand how it was fake.

not only does it not have the usual bubble to the right (it should show that twrp has seen the most recent message even if it’s their own) it doesn’t touch on the fact that the OP said something about lore? even to say “hey, lore’s cool! that’s not the problem” would make more sense

also

they never responded to any of my friends

sure they read it, but following a slew of desperate users trying to get answers they never made an official statement so my gay ass pulled out the wine and said YOU’RE GOING TO MOPE AND THEN YOU’RE GOING TO KEEP DOING YOU.

So we’re here now, with the fact that I know things about the band irl and the fact that I have shipping and people are pissed and I really don’t care. the info i know about the band i keep safe and SIMPLY SAYING A GENERIC WHITE DUDE NAME IS NOT REASON TO START A WITCH HUNT (not going to elaborate on this, this is only posted for the sake of anyone who is on the hate train who may be reading this) this is where fiction does not equal reality. i dont  look at havve and go AH YES THERE IS MURDER MAN, IF HE IS NOT MURDER MAN WHEN THEY GET OFF STAGE ILL BE UPSET because thats STUPID? Like literally the IRL band members created personas and lore that they then gave to the fans to expand upon and also sorry guys,,,, it’s the internet,, in the words of DD “it’s weird” but you can’t ask people to stop. it won’t stop. that’ll just fuel the fire

so yes, i like twrp shipping and i like shippng with my ocs and i like writing about how sometimes when you touch sung’s core it turns him on and about how meouch has a knot because im a fucking awful skanko but at least im having fun lmfao

so

TL;DR

shipping is apparently illegal and so is nsfw in the twrp fandom and i do both unapologetically and i hope i inspire  other people to start doing it more often. 

the twrp fandom is not like this anywhere else btw. this is just tumblr being tumblr, as usual. you’re not going to get brownie points because you didn’t let me write sung fucking his hot gf you absolute dumb dumbs, you’re not going to get anything from it except for an inflated ego which you’ll lord over everyone, so do me the favor of expiring in a trench and let the fandom do what it’s supposed to do

HAVE FUN!

[lazyladyworld]

You know what? I’m gonna say it here, I don’t give a fuck

Ok so, I was in a “abusive relationship” and quite recently i broke up with him. This is gonna be a long post so TL;DR in the end.

I’m putting in quotations abusive cuz he never beat me or abused me physically, just mentally, being a manipulator.

He at first started messaging me a lot, and by a lot I mean it was taking 50% of my phone battery life just because of his texts. Every fucking 10 minutes tops he texted saying “what u doing? Who u with? What u talking about?” Or “I’m doing this, I’m doing that”.

At first u think, ok, cute but a bit too clingy, but u go “whatever, he will give me a break after this high of ‘we just started dating’” but that didn’t happen.

I told him to “slow down, keep calm, u going too fast” and once i simply said “jesus fuck just shut up for a second”. Which he didn’t like, and told me that “it hurt his feelings” and that he “didn’t deal ok with yelling” even tho he yells at everyone and everything.

It was ok at first, lovey dovey couple, first few months and all, and then, a few things happened:

We used to work together and it was getting extremely overwhelming and extrapolated my boundaries of “it’s getting too toxic working for this boss who lies and gets the credits of my work and even belittle me in front of everyone like I’m just a doormat”. And after talking to my parents, who I’m lucky and grateful for them, I quit it and went to stay home doing house chores, taking care of my baby dogs (pics) and focusing on my college work. (I live in Brazil so college and student loans are different here, just pointing out)

Aren’t my puppies cute? The one on the right is Bebê and the one on the left is Dudu. Both brothers and at the time of writing it, both 1 year old.)

Now that i fangirled over my puppies, here we go.

Since i decided to focus on my college life while trying to find a new job, i tried to review a few of my “old” dreams, as in “My dream since 15 y’o wanting to study abroad plan has been reopened”. And i started to look a bit into it, but more into finding new things to do like drawing and exercising, having fun and some time for myself.

Now you think as u read this (it’s 00:50 am right now), “but I don’t understand why u telling this info, whats ur point?”

The point is for u to know that I wanna have a future as a woman who lived the fullest of my choices and studied what I loved and did what I loved. This is the dream my mom had before she had me and it’s a dream she wants me to fulfill. Again, I’m thankful for both of my parents who have been supportive over my college choices and my choices of my future. I really wanna point it out.

And i had been holding this ideia for a while and I thought: I should let my boyfriend know, this is the plan of my future.

So we were 7 months into dating, he can take the news. But then I didnt say it, i held it cuz “some things came up” and we couldn’t talk and when I had the opportunity once again to tell him, he dodged anything so we didn’t have any kind of strong conversation.

I have been thinking of breaking up a few times by then because of boundaries that he didn’t respect. Like texting at 5:30 in the morning or in the middle of class at night, or when I didn’t answer the phone he tried to guilt trip me into being with my phone almost shoved into my eyes. And if u think “he just being trying to make u happy by waking up in the morning with cute or funny message” no, it wasn’t. He texted me to tell me his sister was being an asshole to him, his bus/train was late or anything trivial, but if it was 1 message, I would still be saying “nah, it’s ok, it’s not that bad” but waking me up at 5:30 with 7 text messages of “my sister has been a bitch” and then at 5:50 “im getting on the train” and then at 5:54 “just got into the wrong train”, “silly me”, “I have to pay more attention” and no joke, it was every god damn day like that.

This is a personal story, I’m just venting so, again, sorry for being long.

I became tired the more he did it, even tho I told him, many times, stop texting me a thousand times about 1 thing u can text once. And he heard for 1 day.

And then after 9 months of me saying “dude, chill” and him being a paranoid man and not knowing boundaries, I tried being a good person and say “we can work this out, we can do this”, but it was starting to become too much.

And I was feeling pressured every single time he said “but our kids in the future, our future, our everything, our our our”, I noticed it wasn’t “our” it was his. “His kids, his future, his house”. And I snaped and said “I have to tell u something. I don’t want any kids.”

I don’t want to have kids of my own for many reasons, but it’s not this detail u should focus. I will paint a picture:

Imagine going up the subway staircase and u look at the guy who u are tired of hiding “I don’t want to do something u want because reasons that should be respected” and him stopping holding ur hand, dropping his face and saying “u just destroyed my dream”.

HIS DREAM????

HIS FUCKING DREAM???

At that point I became tired of that and said “what the fuck u mean ur dream, it’s my god damn body, if I even wanna change fucking sex and become a man, u should either say “I understand” and keep dating or say “I understand” and break up with me. I would be fine with that.

BUT TELLING ME THAT I DESTROYED UR DREAM BECAUSE I DECIDED I DIDNT WANNA HAVE KIDS, THATS THE EPITOME OF FUCKING REDFLAG.

But what did I do? I tried to explain why, saying all kinds of stuff until he would look at me again as a human being, not a fucking “body to fuck and make litle humans”.

Since I was on a roll I said “and I also decided I wanna study abroad after college and do (insert subject that I chose)”. He couldn’t even look at me straight, just looking “pained” like I had broke his 3DS or erased his gaming safe with +300h. Then he said the last thing u can say to me:

“Your mom is making ur head.”

Anyone who knows me in person, knows I’m a hardheaded person, who will do thousands of research just to be right and prove u are telling the truth or lying through ur teeth.

Tho he was not exactly wrong either. Someone indeed was making my mind, but it was him, not my mom, and when i said “this is my future and it’s decided” he wasn’t happy I didn’t make him my “priority”.

I became angry and said “would u like to change what u said?” As in “repeat what u said so i can justify breaking up with u”. And he must have noticed my change in my voice and said “it’s not what I meant, what i mean was” and started with his manipulation once again.

After 2 weeks or so of that, I called my best friend (V for reference) and said “I need to talk to u about something” and she said “where is the body? U want me to hide it?” This is how u know they are at ur side. And after i met her at a restaurant, she told me what was up with her, i told her what was happening to me, and she helped me pinpoint how abusive emotionally he was being.

I then went to class in which i prepared to do college work and talk to another friend (L for reference) to keep my head occupied while I thought, how should I break up with him. He then texted me at 8pm asking what V and I talked about and since I was more focused on the class and I was nervous about doing a presentation, I simply said “we talked some girl talk, between just us girls”, but that didnt cut it for him. I said I was focusing on my presentation and I had to go and he said “ok”.

(Side note: it’s 1:37 am and I’m trying not to laugh at hearing my mom snoring at the other room.)

After 2h30 of just talking about the project and the presentation, everyone decided to call it a day and everyone went home.

And I got a text saying “I’m tired of not being ur priority, of u not telling me what is going on and hiding things between ur girlfriend private and not caring about me.”

His text was huge and I had to calm myself down and call a cab to go home cuz I just couldn’t even walk properly. L was with my phone, sent him a message letting him know that im not ok and he should step aside and let me breathe, tho while she texted, he kept calling and calling until she picked up and said “stop calling, ffs” snd he saying “u are destroying this relationship, I hope u know that.”

After she said “shut up I’m taking her home”, he texting “ok”, 15 minutes into the uber, I get a call from my mom, at 11pm. My stomach became strange and I thought “my familia is not ok, or my grandparents are not ok”, but it was her telling me he called her, desperate asking where I was.

I became pissed off to the point of no return. Told my mom to black him and that i was gonna get home in 20min. I got there in 10 minutes and immediately got a call from him. And before I got even a word in he started saying “I’m sorry I know I screwed up and I’m sorry” and i said:

“Stop, we are not happy, what where u even doing, why even try? Not like this”

And then he took himself to the memory land and started to say “I know i I can change, give me a chance”

“No.”

Just “no”.

And when I said I was tired of doing his life for him, that he didn’t accept my decisions. We just have to stop.

He then asked for 2 weeks of thinking of everything, but my mind was set. And I didn’t change my mind. The week was supposed to be radio silent, no talking from both ends. But of course, he couldn’t just leave me be, he texted saying “I wanna talk this week, I have been thinking and I know we can still be happy.” And I said “ok, let’s talk, but in public, with V by my side.” He tried to say no, “for us to reconsider, since it was the biggest fight and we deserve a new beginning.”

He then next day texted “oh my sister is gonna pick my stuff at ur house Saturday. And i said ok, whatever coward.

Then I had to take my pets at the vets to see how they were and was pissed cuz he was trying to be “lol idgaf im edgy”. I texted him saying at 15h I will be leaving, ur shit is gonna be at a bag with the doorman at my apartment. He could have burned my shit, I wouldn’t give a shit.

Saturday passes, Sunday arrives and i go out with V and I laugh about everything that has happened. Then I got a text from mom saying “HE went to pick up, expecting to see u, tried to talk to me, and I simply said ‘good day’”.

I got back a few hours later, played video game and talked to my mom about how ridiculous all of this was, and went to sleep, until the next day I wake up and felt light, happy, joyful and great.

Everything was perfect, I was doing my stuff, had a bit of fun cooking and spet time playing with my puppies, until 6pm, which is the time I usually leave to go to college, I got an email from him, since I blocked him everywhere else. Asking me to go back to him, he wasn’t fine and all those things u come ti recognize after the first signal of manipulation, and as I read, I laughed at it all.

He even accepting V being with us while we talked on a public place. I got tired at some point of the “please let’s get back together”, went to class and texted my friends the email. We talked and laughed at it and I said that his window of opportunity closed after all this “we are made for each other, I know we can be happy again”. He had denied me having a friend with me to talk to him before, now I don’t want to see his face, simply because I can choose to.

I sure hope he findes someone who can be his better half, but not me. And I hope he forgets about me, or at least back off. It came to the point of ridiculousness.

I now am gonna leave saying I dodged a bullet and never again make the mistake to ignore a bunch of red flags.

TL;DR mentally abusive ex was being a bitch and I noticed and said “enough is enough”.

[ravenvsfox]

Can you make a couples post about Kevin and thea please make it up as you go along if you have to, please. I love your writing and ideas.

thank you lovely, i’ll try my best bc they’re so good

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

I think kevin is an ~idiot and he’d probably say something thoughtless about Thea’s form 

I also think that he canonically abandoned her without a single fucking word when he left the ravens and that a lot of her anger after that comes from hurt

I think they’re both pretty damaged and susceptible to hurt tbh, but kevin doesn’t seem to understand when he’s hurting people

who is emotionally stronger?

proooooobs thea I mean. she braved the nest and came out the other side with her head on straight. she did not for a second let kevin fuckin day get to her. she’s still soft on the inside, and exy’s become kind of a coping mechanism in a lot of ways, but she’s less obviously fucked up by the moriyamas then kevin is (simply bc she was less important to them yikes)

who is physically stronger?

THEA BOYYYYY this isn’t even up for debate!!!!! neil describes her as being built like a tank, she’s an unstoppable fucking powerhouse on the court, we’re talking serena williams’ body type, just like.. immovable and gorgeous. kevin is so shaken he’s in love w her muscles..... he wants to be knocked to the fucking floor by her....... she fires a ball into his helmet so hard that it cracks and he pops a boner

who is more likely to break a bone? 

hilarious im gonna say the boy w the infamously broken hand 

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

good question I have no fucking clue they can both be dicks if the situation calls for it

I’m going to say that thea knows what to say to give kevin mad cold shoulder and she can smoke him out in a SECOND if he’s being a dick like she knows when to ignore him and when to back him into a corner

but kevin tends to be unnecessarily rude more often. he’s mean bc he knows that it gets results. thea does not tolerate him bringing this attitude home w him

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

neither? bitch?? if both of them believe they’re right there are gonna be exactly zero (0) sorry’s

I do think they’re probably softer w each other when they’re one on one and I’d be willing to bet that their arguments end with kevin explaining things to death and thea listening and narrowing her eyes a lot and holding the front of his shirt bc she’s mad but she still wants contact and they kiss and make up w out actually ever saying the words

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

I think in the nest you’ve gotta take care of each other, so they both learn to sit the other down and hold gentle hands to the injured person’s sternum to keep them down, and they sit and wrap gauze. it’s v intimate. they probably did it for the first time when thea was playing for the ravens and kevin had yet to debut on the raven line, and there was enough of an age difference between them that it was pretty innocent. thea was overworked and hit for her trouble and kevin came up bc he was terribly impressed by her and a little bit in love and he dabbed at her cuts like the clumsy 17 year old that he was

who is in constant need of comfort? 

it’s mutual bc their pasts are mutual, but I’m willing to bet that it’s kevin who wakes up sweating and crying, & thea knows how to give enough distance and turn on the lights so he remembers where he’s not. He was in shackles for longer. he still kinda hates himself sometimes. thea strokes the chess piece on his cheek and tells him that he checked riko straight to hell

who gets more jealous? 

shit man idk?? neither of them really have room for anything in their lives other than exy and each other (and reluctant connection w teammates/family) so there’s not a lot of jealousy fodder. and they’re never gonna be jealous of the other person caring more about exy than them bc like. that’s understood. if I had to guess I might say thea’s jealous of the world falling all over themselves to get a glimpse at Kevin Day you know

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

I hate to say either bc they’re a really good match and I feel like they’d bounce back really easily, but it’s possible that they fade away from each other when they’re getting their footing on their respective teams. thea can feel herself getting distracted and she pulls out. kevin shows up like???? >:( and they make up on the spot

who will propose? 

probably kevin bc he does the math and realizes that thea is the best thing that’s ever happened to him in his LIFE. he’s probably 10 shots of vodka deep and he looks up suddenly like :O wait a second she’s perfect??? how do I keep her? and nicky has to be like dude.. have u heard of marriage..... it’s nifty and it’s been legal for you straight people for a bajillion years

who has the most difficult parents?

i know literally nothing about thea’s parents but considering jean’s family was a shitty mess that got caught up in the moriyamas I’m assuming most or all of the ravens are in similar situations?? they play for.... the mafia.....

so unless they’re saints, they’re definitely not better than david wymack can I get an amen

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

im trying to picture them holding hands........ I think they would in a like... come here! hurry ur ass up! kind of way like thea spends all her time dragging kevin’s oblivious ass around

who comes up for the other all the time? 

considering neither of them mentioned each other or their relationship for like two books........ idk

i bet you in an easier world it would be kevin though. (my gf is beautiful and strong. she could obliterate u w one swing of her racquet. she wears pretty pastels on her face. i want to kiss her)

who hogs the blankets? 

don’t tell but kevin’s obsessed w feeling coddled and warm and I’m willing to bet that he hogs both the blankets and the woman until thea is also bundled up. i hope they learn to cuddle. I bet they’re rlly bad at it at first but it gets easier and more constant over time

who gets more sad? 

again like. I know v little about thea’s background but if she’s in the nest she’s in deep shit. the both of them were assets that had their lives manipulated out of their own hands. kevin’s wound is open and thea’s is poorly sewn up and neither of them are doctors tbh it takes time and professional help until thea can take her old jersey number off of her necklace and replace it with a chess piece pendant (3 guesses which one)

who is better at cheering the other up? 

they’re reeeally bad at this tbh both of them are like ‘uhhhh... don’t cry.. please..rlly.. stop’ spoilers it’s bc they’ve never been properly comforted themselves :))))

BUT as time goes on kevin starts clumsily recreating things the foxes have said to him and it’s really sweet, and thea can be v mellow when they’re alone together, so she’ll take his bad hand and massage the tension out of it, and smooth his hair back and tell him what an idiot he’s being but like.. fondly

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

nope

who is more streetwise?

I still know nothing about thea but I’m willing to bet that it’s her bc she’s been out in the world for longer?? idk where she was before evermore but she’s already building a life for herself after it when we meet her. kevin’s fresh out of it. he’s messed up but he was messed up indoors under lock and key. all he has now is a little experience from columbia and from watching andrew

who is more wise?

tough to say? I get the feeling that thea knows better than kevin? idky she just..... knows

he’s oblivious at best tbh he knows obscure facts and exy exy exy. thea does too but she also has that practicality and survival baked into her. she seems sharp to me

who’s the shyest? 

not really shy so much as unwilling to show mmmmm anything about themselves until they’re in deep. Thea comes in and orders neil out of the room the first time she meets him ! like she has every right to be pissed but she doesn’t seem stressed that she’ll be disobeyed or come across as rude. I think she’s familiar with being listened to. kev has that sickly media personality and a seven layer cake of repression underneath that so..

pick ur poison. they’re both mostly bravado anyway

who boasts about the other more? 

again, in a perfect world, kevin’s bragging about thea

but as is thea gets all these questions about kevin in interviews and she’s like “hi we’re here to talk about me” but if they ask the right question she’ll get this sly smile and drop them some subliminal messaging type hints about their relationship and move on

kevin’s more sputtery and obvious about thea. she’s his weakness

who sits on who’s lap?

I bet it’s both bc kevin’s obsessed w thea’s thighs on either side of his lap & her weight on top of him and thea likes how pliant and focused kevin gets when he’s looking down at her

[bwopo-blog]

ok i really need to ta lk about everything thats happpened last night and this morning this is really  loing and im sorry

i dont even know where to start but yall know that yesterday wasa my biirthday party and blah blah i had austin, josie, em, and baylee there and it was going pretty good for the most part. i dont really remember much right now because im cactually really not feeling that geeat and dissociating a bit but my mom and her boyfriend got incredibly angry at me fo r trying to connect my friends phones to the internet bc recently we’ve been having internet probl ems but i didn tknow that i was doing something wrong and they were pissed at me.... then a bit after th at my mom wanted to talk to me again so she wanted me to come down stairs and thats when i fell so im still shaken up about that too. when i got the chance to speak with her afterwards she was telling me to Keep It PG Or Else She’s Going To Kick People Out and i was like...... ok???? i mean... baylee is a little colorful with her language and she can be a bit touchy so i thought that was what my mom meant so i told my friends we needed to tone it down a bit and we did and everything was fine. but then like later that night.. around 2-3am i think me, austin, and josie were still up and just finished watching the road to el dorado. for some reason josie was crying and everything was silent and austin was comforting josie (because she is josies girlfriend) and eventually we started watching re: degeneration and i fell asleep shortly thereafter. when we were all awake in the morning my mom angrily told me she wanted to talk to me??????? so i was like ok.. i followed her into her room and she... was accusing austin and josie of doing incredibly inappropriate things in my bedroom. and she told me to stop acting like i didnt know what she was talking about. i was so fuckicngg furious and i still am. my friends woul d never fucking do th at to me!!!!!!!! and she was saying like “you guys have been really testing my kindness. austin and josie cant spend the night together here anymore” and then she got upset with me for having the door closed while with my friends which really confused me because shes never had a problem withthat before... and im 100% positive she and jake thought that josies crying and austin and josie trying to get comfortable on the floor to fu ccking sleep was something else. so when i left the room shaking i went back into the room me and my friends were in and i broke down sobbing and told them all of the things that happened and i asked them if they were in my room and they said no. and obviously i believe them and i have a good reason to. my friends are responsible people and they would never do anything to hurt m e like that. not to mentio n we’re all awkward as fuck why cant my mom just fucking trust me this makes no sense. why would i be friends with people he who u ld betray me like that. why?? why do my pa rntes not fuckcing truu s tme ive done n othing wrong WE did nothging wrong and then  like apparently this fu kc ing afternoon while i was on my laptop with em and baylee my mom sent me a skype message from her fuckcing room 

which i didnt see becau se i was loogged out but i got it right before i started ma king this post and im sobbing| why ??? do th ey do th is tio me???? like i know its silly to be upset but they always accuse me of things and refuse to hear my side and be grown up ab out it. i appreciate my parents but they test me so fucking much and theyve hurt me so much in the past and i honetlslty cant trust th em with anything. i never have. im so terrriifed of m y p ar ents im so anxious and para noid that ifi leave my laptop unattended she mi ght look thr ough it  i didn t do an ything w rong  im so fu ckcing s tu pid