#sorry if this is long winded. I hyperfixated
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hussyknee · 1 year ago
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it’s rare to find a sinhalese person (online atleast) who is supportive of tamil self-determination. genuine question: among leftist circles in sri lanka, how common is such a stance?
I don't know whether I'm a reliable source to answer this question because I'm very jaded about this in general. A couple of days ago, someone on the Sri Lanka Reddit started up discourse about Maitreyi Ramakrishnan's choice to reject identifying with the country that tried to genocide her people, which I'm still chewing wire about. I'm a very isolated person with a very small social circle of like-minded leftist friends. They're mostly not SinBud and anti SinBud nonsense, but none of them are Tamil and I'm the one who really convinced them about Eelam I think. The people I learned from, who are out there doing the work of building inter-ethnic dialogue and overturning Sinhalese propaganda, might have a more hopeful view.
Thing is, there's no one "leftist" faction here because "left" doesn't mean the same thing as it does in the West. The Rajapaksas' party SLPP is socialist, a legacy of the SLFP that they branched off from, that was the party aligned with the USSR. They and their voters and their saffron terror acolytes (Buddhist priesthood) are all for public infrastructure they can rob blind and central government they can use to crush minorities, and build on the nationalist fervour of genocidal Sinhalese Buddhism that's served both major parties since independence.
There's quasi-communists, descendants of the ethnonationalist Marxist JVP that rose in opposition to the class corruption of ethnonationalist USSR-aligned socialist SLFP and enthonationalist US-aligned neoliberal UNP. The current JVP party itself is no longer communist; their coalition the NPP are mostly just very pro-union social democrats, and they've since distanced themselves from their ethnic myopia, possibly due to suffering much of the same state terrorism as minorities via militarisation and policies like the draconian Prevention of Terrorism Act (PTA). They're the most vocal about the abolition of the executive presidency, the removal of all martial law mechanisms and the PTA, defunding of military and police, and restructuring and executing the long-mismanaged socialist infrastructure. These are usually the working class and university students, but their base has been growing in other demographics too, since we "held our noses and voted" for the Yahapalana government in 2015 and it ended up fucking us over. But despite their sympathy with the suffering of Tamils and Muslims and favouring the devolution of power, most still cling to the idea that Sinhalese majoritarianism is a fair result of democracy.
The kind of pro-LGBT, anti-racist, feminist liberals that would pass muster with the western left otoh, are a minority of urban, English-speaking middle class. The younger of this crowd is increasingly favouring the aforementioned NPP (that is rapidly marrying the economic left with the social consciousness led by western dialogues that otherwise go against their traditional rural working class base), but that is very new and hampered by decades of Red Scare propaganda. The minority communities and the urban liberals traditionally vote for the current neoliberal party, that has distanced itself from their virulent nationalism over the last thirty years and basically modelled itself after the US Democrats (diet right-wing as opposed to nuclear right-wing) Their idea of reducing corruption and increasing efficiency is privatizing everything, makes the right pro-feminist and pro-LGBT noises, and coasts on the minority votes on the promise of never actively feeding ethnosupremacy, even if they won't do anything about it either. The Sinhalese affiliated with this party are deeply uncomfortable with if not entirely resistant to the idea that the North and East are Tamil lands colonized by the Sinhalese. Just like the quasi-communists, urban liberals are aware of the corruption and complicity of the Buddhist priesthood in ethnofascism and are prepared to do exactly as much nothing about it.
What I'm trying to say is that Sinhalese Buddhist ethnosupremacy is baked in to the Sri Lankan political fabric. "Left" means jack shit when it comes to whether Tamils have rights, in much the same way that the western left agrees on everything except Palestine. It's a political no man's land everyone tries not to look at.
The fundamental problem is that Sinhalese people who know enough about 1958, 1983, or the full scope of genocide perpetrated against Tamils during the last push of the war, let alone all 26 years of it, are very much in the minority. It takes a particular education to understand that "Sri Lanka" is a post-colonial invention that took over from "Ceylon", which was nothing but a construct for the ease of British administration. As far as I know, this education is confined to activist organizations and whoever followed my sociology program. So my kind of anarchist leftism that calls the war a Tamil genocide with their whole chest, calls the priesthood saffron terrorists, and recognises Eelam, is vanishingly small, afaik.
To be honest, I never really questioned the propaganda and narrative we've been spoon fed myself until I went to Canada when I was 23 to complete my anthro degree (became disabled and dropped out after). One thing that struck me was how racist the Sinhalese diaspora was. I was raised SinBud, my school didn't admit any non-Sinhalese, half my uncles were in the military, but these people that had left the country decades ago still hated Tamils and Muslims in a way that nobody else I knew did. I wondered whether this was what it had been like when it had all started; whether this hatred that seemed to have been preserved in amber was a true taste of what had ignited Black July. Suddenly the attitude of the Tamil diaspora towards the Sri Lankan government and Sinhalese people didn't seem so unreasonable.
Then, later in the same uni term, I went to an art exhibition of a white artist who travelled the world collecting information about their genocides and made art about them, and found a painting depicting Sri Lankan Tamils in 2008. Promptly had a meltdown. Went to the lady and told her tearfully that it was all propaganda, we didn't really hate Tamils, not even my uncles in the army hated Tamils, it was a war, the LTTE had terrorized us for my whole lifetime. Bless the woman, she didn't fight me, just let me cry at her and patted my hand and pretended to take me seriously. This made it easier for me to really think about what I knew once I'd stopped wailing and stamping. It prompted a years-long self-interrogation and fact finding that made me unearth how much brainwashing had been done to us by everyone, from our families to our school textbooks to news media. It's like the air we breathed was propaganda. And I still didn't know a fraction of what life had been like for Tamils (or Muslims) and the scope of atrocities perpetrated by the Sinhalese until I began my Society and Culture degree at the Open University when I was 30. The first year textbooks were only broadstrokes facts, but at last I found out about Gnananth Obeysekera, Prageeth Jeganathan, Stanley Thambaiya, Malithi DeAlwis. Their work on nation-making, ethnicity, historical revisionism, genocide and ethnic conflict and state terrorism...everything I should have been taught as a child. The chapters on the rapes and murders and shelling and war crimes and IDP camps were..indescribable. That was what properly radicalised me about Tamil self-sovereignty, because there's clearly no possible way the Tamil people will ever be safe and safeguarded under a Sinhalese majoritarian government.
I had to drop out of that programme too because of my health. But during the mass protests against the government in 2022, I learned even more about Tamil indigeneity, the extent of JR Jayawardena's crimes, and the persecution of Marxists and victims of the '71 and '89 insurrections. So much of the protests and their encampments were directed and galvanized by social media, that organised online and in-person lectures, teach-outs, and live discussions that anyone and everyone could attend right alongside the protests. I've never seen that kind of truly democratized, free, egalitarian civic education and discourse before. That was the very first time I saw academics, survivors, refugees and human rights activists being given a respectful platform, the masses hearing firsthand accounts from people of the North and East and witnesses of Black July. April to July 2022 was a truly golden bubble of time where I saw people finally start listening, believing, and challenging all their convictions. It was the closest we ever came to realising the hope that things could be different; that we could, as a society, understand how Sinhalese ethnosupremacy had been the black rot killing this country from the first, stop being racist Sinhala-first cunts and actually hold any of these murderers accountable.
Teach us to hope, I guess.
But I suppose it's no small thing that I learned about the Tamil resistance and struggle and taught all my friends about it. I'm sure they're informing their own circles in small ways too. These tendrils are hard to see, but they exist and grow. Especially with the fall of the Rajapaksas and their Bhaiyya contingent, more people can see ethnosupremacy for the grift that it is, and the younger generations are less defensive, more willing to listen and eager for justice and change. So I guess the answer is: not very common, but less uncommon than it used to be.
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seokmatthewz · 2 years ago
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omg so much matchou and hanbini gifs today 😭😭 how long do u spend on making these like you have so much patience I can never
-🧸
ive been making gifs for just over 4 years now so it doesnt take me too long now tht ive like gotten into a rhythm with it????? its kinda therapeutic when im not fighting w my photoshop BDJDK usually the longest part is getting stage gifs encoded thru vapoursynth but for that hanbin set its just one long cut tht i split up in photoshop so it wasnt too bad!! i also have an undying need to make. Too Many gifs and also whenever i gif one of my biases i usually feel the need to gif all of them its just a series of little dominoes that culminates in me staring down my laptop like a madwoman . all that being said i think those 3 sets took like an hour and a half total???? maybe less?? they tend to take longer not bc they take a while to make but bc i get distracted by my phone a lot fnfkfm
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heycoyotegirl · 2 years ago
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i am going to answer these asks tonight even if it kills me
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paradlselost · 5 months ago
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. ⋮ ULTRAVIOLENCE .ᐟ ֹ
doctor phosphorus x female reader
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⎨ 𝐀𝐍 ⎬ fun fact i’ve wanted to eat uranium for a long time so he is the worlds most perfect man to me . also sorry for not writing anything in so long , i’ve been busy and jumping from hyperfixation to hyperfixation for a while now as you can see by my unfinished mouthwashing fanfics . but i watched the show last night and he is my favorite and there’s almost nothing about him so i had to . enjoy !
⎨ 𝐂𝐖 ⎬ monster ! reader , mentions of body dysmorphia and imposter syndrome / depersonalization , religious trauma + blasphemy ( cause i can’t help myself ) specifically in catholicism , catholic rituals , depictions of eating raw meat , depictions of wounds , hurt / comfort , depictions of cannibalism , described body horror . smut : fire / burning kink , dry humping , fingering , male moans ( yay ! ) .
3 . 1 k words ++ not beta read .
PART TWO OUT NOW : CINNAMON GIRL
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Eyes flutter closed, allowing darkness to wash over you. Soft sounds of birds chirping fill the room around you, drowning out the constant humming of the chip in the back of your neck. You’re hyper aware of everything, the fabric of the blanket that covers you and the cold air that stings your nose as you breath in; chest rising and falling in rhythm.
You remember how reluctant the guards that watched over you were to allow you the sounds you so desperately needed to sleep, not believing your pleas to quiet your constantly racing mind. Nearly a week without rest made them understand rather quickly, when, despite the power dampener locked around your neck, talons began to grow out of your hands and your spine contorted with the growing of fleshy wings.
It seems you’ve been blessed, something has gone right for once in your life as you’re now able to change the sounds to whatever you wish instead of the constant rushing of waves. Secretly, you’re happy to have been put on this mission. Grateful, even, as much as you could be to a monster like Waller. Perhaps you could even forgive her for the electrocution you’d been put through.
Weasel kips at the foot of your bed, stuck to your side since the day you had snapped at him: barred your fangs and shoved him away from you. Something about the beast had been so pathetic that you ended up apologizing and giving a hesitant scratch to the back of his ears. He’s good company, loyal if not a bit of a flea concern, and he listens when you speak to him unlike many of the others in the special containment of Belle Reave.
Nina was kind, as well, perhaps a bit out of her element, though. You’d once tried to make small talk with GI but that ended as quickly as it had started with his sudden interrogation on if you were a Nazi. And god, you wouldn’t dare bring anything up to the others.
Crickets chirped through the headphones you had been allowed to wear, owls hooting and birds calling. A forest at night, a beautiful scene you were sure you wouldn’t be able to see freely again, but you do not indulge in those negative thoughts. You can already feel it looming over you, exhaustion and stress mingling to bring it out. The thing that stirrs inside you, monstrous and ugly. Its hungry, and you know better than to ignore that hunger lest the Weasel that kips at the foot of your bed be more than a scrap of fur.
So, you stirr. Sitting up in the bed you remove your headphones and push the blanket from your form quietly as to not disturb him. He’s almost cute when he sleeps, like a crusty old dog that resembles more of a tattered blanket than a pet. Regardless, you close the door quietly behind you and walk down the long winding hallways of the palace. Truthfully, you had never been anywhere quite as lavish, never had a king sized bed all to yourself or a private bathroom. Its almost too big, especially at night when the shadows dance up the walls and cast an ominous glare over just about everything.
You know better than to gaze at your shadow as you pass the large walls with royal family portraits. Unworthy, unrighteous, evil. The rosary marks still pierce your skin, forced to pray this thing away day and night till your palms and knees bled. You’ve grown resentful towards the being that shares your body. It makes demands of you, to feast, a single slip can give way and allow it to control you. Some kind of devil, the reason you’re here in the first place.
Your mouth had begun to hurt in your search for the kitchen, gums beginning to bleed and pool against the base of your tongue.. You’d have thought you’d be used to this by now, that your world wouldn’t continue to be turned upside down, that the Lord’s Prayer wouldn’t recite involuntarily in your mind as it all starts over again. You stumble over your own two feet, finding yourself silently wishing you had that power dampener around your neck once again. Your stomach rumbles more.
It feels like an eternity till you finally find the kitchen, thankful that all the servants had retired for the night so you can spit your mouthful of blood into the sink. Crimson stains the marble, dripping from your chin as you turn on the faucet to wash your mouth of the taste. Your fangs had grown in now, taking space in front of your canines and piercing uncomfortably against your bottom lip whenever you close your mouth. Hunger gnaws at your stomach as if beginning to consume the lining itself.
You throw open the fridge door with little care of the noise it makes as it slams into the counter beside it. Eyes scour for something, anything, till you land on a large, raw goose marinating for tomorrow nights feast. Shaky hands reach out to grab it, allowing the glass tray it sits in to fall to the ground and shatter. The shards prick at your bare feet, cutting and marring your skin with more blood, though you don’t seem to notice.
Fangs sink into the bird, soft flesh breaking at the intrusion. The taste is almost euphoric, never had you tasted a meat so rich and fatty; your body had gotten far too used to the awful prison food they served in containment. You rip out a large chunk; tendons harshly snapping from the body as you swallow nearly without chewing. Your eyes gloss over as you devour the bird, reaching in to grab at the sausage links that had also been waiting to be cooked the next day.
You hadn’t realized how much you had truly lost yourself till a harsh green glow halted your feast. Head whipping around to greet the skeletal face of Phosphorus, a hiss falling from your lips that still wrapped around a chunk of meat like a food insecure cat. He was your least favorite of all, acting as if he knew everything simply because he had been a doctor before his incident. Not like it mattered in Belle Reave, and certainly not in the monster sector they were kept in.
“Woah. Calm down, I’m not takin’ that from you.” A huff came from him, head tilted to the side as he watched you, almost intrigued with the way you acted. He simply stepped past you, walking over to the sink and simply staring down at the blood that had graced the basin. “This yours?”
The link fell from your mouth, rolling into the shards of glass and crimson as the fangs retracted back into your gums, eyes returning to normal. All you could do was stare at him, as if he had asked the most stupid question in the world. Smartest man in the room your ass.
“Who else’s would it be?”
“Don’t know, thats why I’m asking. Flag and I got into a fight earlier and I totally won, so I’m just wondering.”
“Oh.”
He leans back against the countertop, facing you now, the sleeves of his hoodie protecting him from burning through the granite. Part of him had always intrigued you, in a way, everyone but Weasel had a signature outfit; but him? A hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. It was almost comical how simple he was, though you supposed there wasnt much he could keep. A step towards him, wincing at the sudden realization of what you had done.
His gaze followed yours, looking down to the glass and blood that gushed from your feet and ankles. The light from the fridge and his green glow illuminated the space between you two, dancing off the shards on the floor. Your mouth was covered as well, sloppily wiped onto your cheeks as you had feasted. God, you looked a mess, but the pain distracted you from that fact. Biting your bottom lip to muffle a pathetic whimper of pain.
“Cmon don’t cry, what’s a little glass among friends?”
“I am not crying.”
If he had eyes to roll no doubt he would’ve. Stepping over to you and hooking an arm around your shoulder to help you stand without any warning. Your first instinct is to fight him off, to tell him no and shout at him, but you don’t. Instead, you lean into the touch and allow him to help you hobble up the stairs to, what you originally assume to be your room, but soon discover he’s guiding you into his, and then, into his bathroom.
Theres something almost intimate about the way he grabs your hips to help you onto the counter so he can patch you up. You hadn’t asked this from him, but it didn’t seem to matter much now as he filled a bucket with warm soapy water, dunking a rag in a few times and using the help of tweezers to pick the glass out of your skin. You do your best not to flinch, using the time to preoccupy yourself with washing off the blood from your face.
John 13. You detest the thought, Belle Reave had ripped every ounce of belief from your body, but the ceremonies and rituals of your youth had not quite left your mind, and the intimacy of the moment didn’t help. Silence filled the room, the only noises being the soft sounds of the wash cloth being dunked into the water and squeezed out. You’d seen it before, a relatives wedding, the washing of the feet ceremony. It’s meant to be intimate, to be between spouses, to show commitment and love just as Jesus had to his disciples. You feel far more like Judas, however, with the monster that festers inside you.
“So. What was that?” His voice snaps you from your thoughts, eyes fluttering down to look at him, hesitating at his question. You don’t have a good answer, not one that wraps everything up into a neat bow at the least. Just what you know, which isn’t much.
“It’s the reason I’m classified as a monster. Theres… something that lives inside me, a devil of sorts I was always told. It’s been there for as long as I can remember, its why I had to wear the collar back in confinement. It starts to creep out whenever I slip, get too comfortable or let my guard down.” You’re quiet, not wanting to break the softness of this encounter. “I’m sorry you had to see it.”
“You don’t have to apologize. We’re all freaks, its the whole point of this task force.”
“I guess. I’m still sorry.”
A huff comes from Phosphorus as he grabs a clean washcloth, dunking it in fresh water and reaching up to wipe off some of the blood that you had missed, that still marrs your mouth and flesh. He’s close, now, very much so. He smells of sulfur, though it does not cause you to recoil or scrunch your nose; its a scent you’ve grown accustomed to with the monster that shares your body. Can a skeleton be attractive? Is that possible?
You lean into the feeling of the warm washcloth against your cheek; having been so long since someone had touched you. Before you had been arrested you indulged in sin, lust, it had engulfed your body and it wasn’t a feeling you ever wanted to encounter again. How it could consume your entire being, give control over to someone other than yourself. It’s a fine line for you, but you feel the distantly familiar feeling of butterflies flutter in your stomach at the proximity of him.
You feel sick; like bile will creep up your throat any moment, but it doesn’t feel bad. Not with how he lets the cloth be a barrier between the two of you, between his hands that will burn your body at his touch. You’d welcome it, to let him cauterize your wounds and fix you. Your hands creep up to wrap around the back of his neck, protected by the hood of his sweater as you pull him closer. He’s warm, comfortable.
“I don’t like you apologizing, you look like a kicked puppy.”
“You’re smiling, though.”
“Can’t help it, I’m a skeleton, doll.”
His voice is a giveaway, though, possibly the most upbeat you had heard him despite the quiet and intimate nature of the room. You feel it, the radiating warmth from his other hand creeping down to your thigh, rubbing soft, soothing circles against the fabric that protects your skin from his touch. It would hurt, but a part of you almost welcomes it, wants to feel it.
You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, eyes focused on the hand that slowly crept higher from your thigh. He’s close, his heat rivaling that at your core. You miss the way his head tilts to the side at your demeanor, hands grasping and releasing the fabric of his hoodie over and over.
Phosphorus said nothing as he continued to wipe some of the blood from your mouth, lingering over your bottom lip while his other hand becomes preoccupied with cupping you over your pajama pants, skeletal fingers pressing in to give you some friction.
That nausea you had felt earlier returns tenfold, punishing yourself for feeling anything remotely good. The situation reminds you far too much of the last time, dipping too far into bliss. It seemed you had only blinked when the body of the lover you had found for the night was strewn across the room, spitting half eaten entrails out of your maw. He guides you to lean back against the mirror, your hand clasping over your mouth to muffle your sounds as he slips below the fabric of your nightwear.
You can feel it again, the hunger that rises to your chest. Your hands shake against your skin now, nailbeds aching with the growing of your talons. A whimper, squeezing your eyes shut. You are selfish, greedy. You’d rather relish in this than warn him, to have one moment that allows you to feel human, to feel wanted and loved.
A sudden burning feeling rips you from your thoughts, your hand had been removed from its post over your mouth and was held in his. Tears well in your eyes at the feeling, the searing pain that washed over your body and forces you to see white. It aches, branding you.
“Shit.” Is all that falls from his mouth, moving his hand away before you needily grasp it once more. Intertwining your fingers, keeping him there. The pain had forced the monster away, talons no longer threatening to protrude from your nailbeds and spine ceasing its contorting. You are lucky, graced with an opportunity to feel something beneath the endless pit in your stomach. To feel him.
“Don’t stop.” Your breathless words are more than enough to encourage his continuation, slotting himself between you legs and pressing the suddenly tight fabric of his sweatpants against you. A soft sigh falling from your lips, head tilted back, hair fluffing up on the mirror as he began to rock against you.
“I wont.” Slow, at first, as if testing the waters to gauge your reaction. Soft whines emitting from somewhere behind the skeletal teeth that were on display for you. Your hand scrunches up his hoodie, dragging his chest closer to you as he began to pick up the pace.
Needy and pathetic, his hips grinding rougher against your pajama pants, the tent in his pants catching on your covered clit; pulling a gasp from you as you arched your back. He focused his movements in that spot, up and then down to elicit soft whines and moans from you. Matching his neediness, having been touched starved for so long.
You’d grown up with depictions of heaven, imaginary white fluffy clouds somewhere high above the Earth. But here, right now, you’re more than convinced this is paradise. Rough fabrics rocking against each other, keeping you grounded on the countertop you sit on, the mirror behind you beginning to fog up with your heavy breathing. Your hands still intertwined, the harsh stinging drowned out at the near bliss you faced.
Hes sloppy now, nearing his finish far faster than you despite your state. Harsh whines fall from him as he grinds against you a few more times before panting and leaning against you. He’s winded for a moment, catching his breath, though the hand not holding yours travels back down to rub against your core.
Hes rough, guiding you to gush around nothing. You can feel your heartbeat below, drumming uncomfortably as you bury your face in the neck of his hoodie. His hand slips below your pajamas once more, continuing to tease your swollen clit and soaked folds as tears pricked at your eyes, squeezing his hand to single for him to stop.
Within a moment, he did. Ceasing the torment though not removing his hand from under your pants. Allowing your juices to pool against the cotton of your underwear before guiding his hand lower, placing his palm flat against your thigh and removing his other hand from yours. It stings, the cleansing fire emitting from him, your hand already burned as he brands your thigh with his handprint.
“Perhaps we should act like this didn’t happen… I’m sure it would make being on a team awkward.”
“I-... Yeah. Agreed. I should, um, head to bed.” Awkward you lift yourself from the counter and fix your pajama pants, slipping off the granite and setting against the cold tile floor. Your feet still hurt, though not nearly as bad as they had hurt before and surely nothing in comparison to the feeling of him against your skin.
He gives little more than a nod as you slink out the door, stumbling down the hall to find your own room and quickly running a hot bath. It would soothe you, make everything better, you deemed. Stripping to allow yourself to sink into the warmth as a sigh falls from your lips, eyes drawn to the handprint marked on your thigh.
You trace the outline with your finger, over and over almost obsessively and silently cursing him for his words. An asshole, you remembered, your least favorite in the little ragtag team. Though, with the way he had whimpered and moaned against you, you were halfway convinced you may be able to fuck the sarcasm and ill wit out of him.
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ma1dita · 1 year ago
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bedtime stories
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a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader prev -> feed the fire | next -> crazy little thing words: 2.4k summary: (pre-established relationship) The one where night shift with him runs late, but you don't mind at all. You won’t admit a lot of things to Luke Castellan, but perhaps he knows something you don’t. Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader warnings: none, banter and fluff on a night shift a/n: Introducing luke castellan x trouble!reader… this is just gonna be ongoing blurbs and one shots of an idea in my head (and my latest hyperfixation) reader is essentially reformed unhinged bitch now camp mom and it’s enemies to friends to lovers. Working through reading the pjo series hehe (posted 1/16/24, beta’ed by the lovely @ttulipwritezz @mrsaluado & @lixzey thank you bunches)
Dragging your feet across the dirt of the forest floor, you sigh to yourself in the quiet night air. It’s gonna be another long night and with the beep on your digital watch, you blearily peer at the time and sigh. Almost 11. Swaying slightly, you whistle a familiar tune as your nimble hands straighten out the deck chairs near the firepit, pick up trash to toss into the receptacle, and turn off the lights in the dining hall. All on the way to check Cabin 7, mind you, and the Apollo kids will undoubtedly loop you into singing a song with them before you shut the lights off and close the curtains.
Gods, your dad is definitely gonna hear about this in the morning.
It’s not like Mr. D ever really cares, or listens, more focused on droning on about missing his wife and playing pinochle even when you rattle off his…your to-do list for the week to keep Camp Half-Blood running and the younger demigods in mostly one piece. Honestly, he should be grateful he has you, and even if he is, he’ll never let you hear it.
At least you’re Chiron’s favorite.
A shadow passes your field of view, and before you can rub at your sleepy eyes, strong hands pin you to the side of a tree on the dirt path you were supposed to take across camp.
Sorry, let’s correct that—you’re one of Chiron’s favorites. The other all-star camper stares at you like you’re a three-headed dog under the beam of his flashlight.
“Just me, Castellan,” you grumble, a bit winded as you blink harshly at the bright light. “Still doing checks.”
“You’re losing your touch. You making a habit of going to bed late?” Luke smirks, and it’s actually annoying how he always looks like he knows something you don’t.
“You always pin campers to trees?”
“Just the pretty ones.” His smirk turns into a sly grin that makes you roll your eyes.
“Okay loser, I’ve got cabins to check,” you drone as you push off from the tree. “6 cut into my time after staying there longer than I had to. The little ones kept asking these otherworldly philosophical questions and Annabeth just laughed at me while I tried to not pluck my eyelashes out one by one.”
Your clipboard taps lightly against your hip despite the aggression in your voice and Luke laughs much like his little sister, a burst of sunlight overflowing into the dreary and mundane. Your lips quirk upward before you can stop and remind yourself of who you’re talking to. The tall boy reaches behind him to scratch the nape of his neck and sighs, sucking at his teeth.
“You’re always doing the most, huh?”
“Who else is going to, my dad? He’s probably already out like a light.” Once, you found your dad asleep at his desk after dinner, snoring loudly instead of keeping watch. You started taking more night shifts after that.
“Well, no. You know I’m here to help you, even if you’ll never admit it.” Luke extends a hand to you so it’s easier to navigate the step back onto the dirt-trodden path, but there’s no fun in that, so you hop around him and start walking away. The sound of his footsteps fall and match yours as he follows you, both in tandem like the sound of a steady heartbeat.
“The day you catch me admitting anything about you is the day the Underworld freezes over. You should know that by now.”
“Woooooow, so I don’t get a thank you for singing the Apollo kids to sleep? You should’ve seen the look on their faces when I walked in and not you. They ended the song pretty quickly after I opened my mouth to croak out a chorus,” he says, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth and nudging your side as you both laugh.
He’s a terrible singer, to be honest. Not even the Fates would’ve expected that from someone who otherwise seems like a perfect boy. Sometimes you wonder what he’s done in a past life to have it so easy–to look like he’s been chiseled by Michelangelo, have the athletic prowess of ten Spartan soldiers, and the heart of a hero only legends could get right. He’s probably the closest thing to an actual hero here at camp. You often find yourself looking at him in hopes of finding a crack in the porcelain of his perfection, but any fault of his seems to just build up his endurance in his quest for glory.
Maybe that’s why your dad doesn’t like him, his aspirations for something greater than the camp that’s kept you safe all these years, though the multiple complaints and headaches the both of you have given him as squabbling teenagers must’ve added onto that. Sometimes, though, the way he helps ease your load prods a funny feeling you do your best not to acknowledge in your stomach. Luke walks ahead shining the flashlight onto the dark path so you both don’t trip. It’s there now, at the sight of him offering an arm for you to latch onto to hop over fallen branches.
Mental note: tell the satyrs to move that in the morning.
As you hurdle over the brambles, you let go immediately after you steady your feet, moving his hand that’s holding the flashlight back towards the path with no other words. You are your father’s daughter after all, and he knows this—stubborn and your name have the same face.
Moving further towards your destination, the light reveals a teenage couple entangled within each other’s arms at the base of a tree out there for everyone to see in the moonlight.
“Jeez, guys, alright— pack it up, wrap it up! Could’ve at least found somewhere private… It’s curfew already, if I see you two again it’s a citation.”
The boy blushes and mumbles an apology to you, scurrying back to cabin 7, and you raise an eyebrow at a sheepish son of Hermes who swears they were all in their beds when he was singing to them.
“I don’t wanna go back to my cabin, all the boys are gross…” the girl whines, cheeks flushed from embarrassment as she flutters her eyelashes at you and Luke. You sigh. What has the world come to that young demigods are entrusted to the care of two people who barely consider themselves adults?
“Well, if you’re still in 11 with this one,” you simper, blatantly pointing at Luke, “I can’t blame you. He’s gross. Come by mine tomorrow and I’ll get you privacy curtains, okay? Trust me Yvonne, you don’t think boys are all that gross if you like kissing them.”
She nods, smiling charmingly at the two of you, before brushing past Luke and winking, “See you inside!”
Your head swivels to look at Luke with a coy expression, “There’s no way she’s not an Aphrodite.”
Luke huffs as he clicks his flashlight on and off. His hands are always fidgeting, always searching for something to do. He’s more like his dad than he thinks, carrying the quieter traits of quick fingers and more obvious ones like his constant search for amusement. Talking to you consistently satiates that itch.
“Aphrodite isn’t the only god that attracts attractive people, you know.”
“Oh? Do tell, because if she’s one of you, your cabin’s gonna be extra trouble,” your mouth curves into a smile, and he thinks he likes it more when you’re trying to be mean to him like this because the back and forth between you two is a comfort Luke cherishes. The words have lost their bite over the years, and there are no more cuts and bruises besides an occasional wounded ego, but it’s still entertaining, to say the least. He can’t imagine a day without hearing the teasing lilt of your voice, always easy to prod at and always wanting to have the last word.
“My dad is the god of thieves and messengers. We’re fast, smart, charming, and also good-looking. Do the math.”
“Also apparently the ones with the biggest egos, but okay.” There it is. He shoves you and you trip over your own feet falling fast.
“Hey! Jerk.”
“Definitely a daughter of Dionysus, crazy as always, and clumsy too.” Luke’s nose crinkles at the sight of your crumpled frame.
“Your hand is like the size of my face, what the fuck was I supposed to do with that?”
A fleeting thought in the back of your mind reasons that maybe violence is the answer, but he’s still not finished making fun of you even after he helps you up.
“And vulgar! What a shocker.”
“Ugh. You better hope your dad stops populating because if there’s any more that come here and act like you? I’m quitting.”
Luke watches you gaze at the heavens, probably looking for a fuck to give and he snickers at how easily you give in nowadays. Maybe he’s the one losing his touch—usually you’d put up more of a fight to argue.
“You wouldn’t. You love this job. Camp. S’why you’re not as fun anymore, Trouble.”
A noise of agreement leaves you as you glare at him and the stupid nickname back from when you used to wreak havoc just because you could, a direct juxtaposition to the honorary position you hold today. Finally following him up the front steps of Cabin 11, Luke opens the door and beckons you in, pushing at your hip with his knuckles.
Checking this place last has become a habit with Luke helping you out, and all the kids—Hermes’, minor gods’, and unclaimed, love it when you come to stop by before lights out. They especially loved the later bedtime, but hugs and cool stories from you were a close second.
“Everyone good and ready for bed in here? Sorry it took so long guys,” you say, visually scanning the perimeter and matching faces to bunks, seeing them all settled beneath their sheets, all except for one Luke Castellan. He’s still leaning against the doorframe, breath grazing your shoulder as he hands you a copy of his log from the other cabins he kindly relieved you from.
“What, no bedtime story this time?” He says through hooded eyes, and though he won’t admit it, he adores the sound of your voice. Luke does anything he can to get your attention to hear it more. It almost has a calming effect on him, and maybe it’s the fact that your dad can cause and cure madness, anxiety, and all alike, so something in him believes you do the same, powers or not. One look from him has you sputtering out snarky remarks; different strategies, same results—works every time.
“Castellan…” He grins at the look on your face, and tiny voices pop up from around the cabin, all asking for a bedtime story. Chris even starts a chant from his top bunk, making you want to hurl your clipboard at his head. Hypnos is calling your name at this point, and you’d do anything to crawl into your own safe haven in Cabin 12, but your heartstrings pull at the sight of the little ones pouting, hoping for you to tuck them in with a blanket of comforting words and stories of something more than what these walls meagerly provide. Camp Half-Blood only keeps them safe for so long, and not a lot of them make it out of here alive. You and Luke both know that being two of the oldest at camp, and his smug expression as he settles into his bed is confirmation that you’re about to give in.
“Fine. One quick story, and then everyone goes to sleep okay? Who wants to sit on the floor with me?”
You take your place sitting on the ground next to the foot of Luke’s bunk as he lays upside down on the twin-sized mattress, peering at you through one open eye as the younger children, mostly the unclaimed ones—drag their blankets and form a circle in the middle of the room, waiting patiently for you to start enchanting them with something to occupy their tired minds. Acting— that’s the gift your father had to give you; this time you decide to tell the story of Atalanta and the golden apples, how she ran from love and it still found her in the end, and how some stories can have good endings, despite what’s often found in Greek legend.
Multiple tired eyes droop closed as you finish the story and carry the ones who’ve fallen into Hypnos’ embrace back into their bunks, tucking them in with kisses on their foreheads and it leaves you with a warm feeling that will help you brave the chill on your walk back.
Admittedly, this next part is your favorite part on nights like these. The overflowing cabin of rowdy pranksters and babbling children is as quiet as the secret you hold close to your heart, tiptoeing back towards Luke’s space and draping his blanket over his muscular frame, exhausted from another day of trying to achieve greatness. Your hand brushes a dark curl away from his forehead, fingertips ghosting his pale skin like a kiss you’d never have the guts to give. With everything you have in you, you summon thoughts of serenity and peace, hoping whatever keeps him up at night lets him rest for even a few hours. You don’t pray often, finding yourself spiting your father instead of honoring him on most days, but in the dim light of Cabin 11, you find yourself making time to do so for a pain in your ass called Luke Castellan.
Perhaps he knows something you don’t after all, the crease in his forehead relaxing as you pull your fingertips away.
“Sweet dreams, angelface.”
Mental note: Put his ass to work tomorrow for falling asleep halfway through the story.
It’ll only give him another excuse to ask you to tell it again a few nights later. You find yourself not minding that, a sliver of a smile pulling at your face as you walk towards the door and shut the lights off, a sleeping son of Hermes illuminated by the gentle shine of the moon.
You’d never admit that, though.
“you steady me and stir me
all at once.”
-Tanya Wright
ask to be added to luke/general taglist!
luke taglist (some won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @b0ok-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen @nininehaaa @bradynoonswife @stevenknightmarc @hoodedhavok @happy-mushrooms @homebyeleven @anotherblackreader @too-deviant @liviessun @lilacspider @theadventuresofanartist @sucker4seresin @simpforsunwoo @zanzie @starrystormwritings
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aventurineswife · 23 days ago
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hi hello im like feeling very scared about this, making requests is scary, and this would be my first ever one, im pretty sure ur requests are open right now, apologies if not, its so scary keeping track but uh i cant stop thinking about like a reader who like goes to sleep rlly early (like 6-7pm) but then wakes up rlly early as a result (like 3-5am) and as a result grows very tired and eepy during the day and sometimes falls asleep or spaces out during the day, idk where you could take this, i just think it would be cute to make up something for it (and definitely isnt my routine) as for characters uh aventurine, kaveh and if u write for them lyney and baizhu (idk if u write for many genshin characters but i literally only know aventurine from honkai bc i hyperfixated on just him, idk the lore of honkai at all 😭)
Dreamers in the Daylight
Tags: Kaveh x Reader, Aventurine x Reader, Fluff, Established Relationship, Soft Moments, Protective Partner, Sleepy/Overworked Reader, Light Humor, Emotional Vulnerability.
Warnings: Mild mentions of overworking, Emotional fatigue.
A/N: No! Don't be scared!! 😭🙏 I'm so sorry for being intimidating!! Requests are closed now. And you did a good job on making a request 🫂💖 (also I'm feeling eepy so I just did Kaveh and Aventurine sadly 😔)
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Kaveh first noticed your unique sleep routine during one of his late-night sketching marathons. He had returned home to find you already fast asleep on the couch at 7 PM, curled up with a blanket and the soft glow of candles illuminating your peaceful expression. He couldn’t help but smile as he adjusted the blanket over your shoulders before retreating to his room.
Your early-to-bed habit intrigued him, but it also left him confused when he found you wide awake in the predawn hours, humming softly to yourself as you prepared tea. The quiet mornings you spent together soon became a comfort to Kaveh. While he worked on designs or poured his heart into blueprints, you would sit beside him, resting your chin on your hand, occasionally spacing out as the world outside slowly woke up.
But during the day, your schedule often caught up with you. Kaveh first discovered this when he brought you to one of his favorite spots in Sumeru—a scenic hill with a breathtaking view of the city. He was passionately explaining the significance of the architecture below when he turned to see your head nodding, your eyelids drooping.
“Are you… falling asleep?” he asked, half-offended and half-amused.
You jerked awake, blinking rapidly. “N-No, I’m just… resting my eyes! I swear I was listening!”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re hopeless,” he teased, though he gently guided you to sit under a tree’s shade. “Alright, take a quick nap. I’ll wake you up in a bit.”
Moments like these became common. Whether you were resting your head on his shoulder in the middle of a crowded plaza or dozing off during his long-winded rants about art, Kaveh always found a way to accommodate you. He’d sigh dramatically, but there was a fondness in his tone as he whispered, “Only you could make me stop mid-sentence just so you can nap.”
Yet, he never left your side. He’d drape his cape over you to shield you from the sun. Sometimes, he’d even sit with you, watching your serene expression and wondering how someone so effortlessly stole his heart.
One morning, as the two of you shared tea before dawn, Kaveh turned to you with a soft smile. “You know,” he began, “I used to think your sleep schedule was odd. But now, I’ve realized I wouldn’t trade these quiet mornings—or your sleepy daytime antics—for anything.”
You grinned, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Glad you’re on board, sunshine.”
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The first time Aventurine realized your peculiar sleep habits, he didn’t know whether to laugh or raise an eyebrow. You had fallen asleep in his office chair at 6:30 PM, your head resting on the corner of his desk while he explained his latest strategy. He’d been mid-sentence about a crucial investment when he turned to find you completely out, your breathing soft and even.
“Well, well,” he muttered, tilting his hat back. “If this isn’t the biggest gamble of my life—someone who sleeps through my brilliance.”
He didn’t wake you. Instead, he draped his overcoat over your shoulders and continued working in silence. But the next morning, when he saw you sipping coffee at 4 AM, humming cheerfully as though the day had already begun, he knew he had found someone… unique.
Aventurine didn’t mind your sleep schedule, though it did make him adjust his plans. He’d noticed how you grew visibly tired during the day, your eyes glazing over during strategy meetings or your head drooping at social gatherings. At first, he found it amusing, especially when others tried to engage you in conversation, only for you to reply with an incoherent mumble.
“You’re really stealing the show, darling,” he teased one evening after you fell asleep in the middle of a poker game. He gently scooped you up, placing you on the couch in his suite. “The only person who can outplay me is someone who’s not even awake.”
But Aventurine’s teasing belied his genuine care for you. He’d schedule his meetings around your energy levels, ensuring you were comfortable before any long discussions. During your midday naps, he’d sit beside you, absently flipping through documents while stealing glances at your relaxed face. He didn’t understand how you could look so content, even in the middle of chaos, but it fascinated him.
One afternoon, as you rested your head on his shoulder during a lull in his meetings, Aventurine leaned closer, speaking softly. “You know, most people think I’m a reckless gambler, always chasing the next big win. But you—you’re the real risk-taker. Who else would trust me to keep an eye on them while they nap?”
You smirked, eyes half-closed. “Maybe because you’re not as scary as you think you are.”
He chuckled, adjusting his glasses. “Careful, darling. Keep saying things like that, and I might actually believe you.”
From then on, Aventurine made it his mission to protect your unique rhythm. Whether he shielded you from interruptions during naps or joined you in the quiet stillness of early mornings, he found a strange comfort in the balance you brought to his life. For a man who thrived on uncertainty, you were the one constant he was willing to bet everything on.
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sahisan · 10 months ago
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silence.
tomioka giyuu x gn!reader.
⭒ summary: everyone knows that giyuu isn't much of a talker, so this depicts the silent moments with him that you both have come enjoy.
⭑ cw: sfw. mentions of giyuu's past (final selection w sabito). a bit of angst. reader is bad at comforting. giyuu loves you sm. like loves.
⭒ wc: 2.8k.
⭑ a/n: this took me too long wth, almost a month i fear lol. this was written during my demon slayer hyperfixation comeback (it's gone now) so uh. also acheron fic coming soon (i hope soon)! pls like and reblog !!
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it wasn't exactly silence after giyuu finished speaking. there were sounds of birds chirping, wind occasionally blowing, resulting in sounds of swaying leaves on the trees being more audible. some even fell because of the invisible force of the air, ending up meeting the gravel ground near the engawa.
having told a good share of his past to you—precisely about sabito and the final selection, which were the main reason he wasn't exactly thrilled about taking part in the hashira training—giyuu decided to stop himself from telling you any more, choosing to leave other topics for later.
but will you still have this 'later' now that he's shared even a small bit of himself?
to you, the silence was awkward. not having the faintest idea of what to say in reply to that wasn't exactly what you would want to experience, yet here you were. it felt useless even trying to think of something, to try and make something up in your mind, even taking a bit more time than you usually do when thinking of a response, bur nothing could've prepared you to thinking of what to reply to this.
it made your stomach churn with how you realised you couldn't seem to know what to do, what to say, how to comfort him; the closest to you person finally started to open uo, little by little, bit by bit and you instead feel like an immobile log, only being able to sit there and listen, not being able to muster up a word of comfort.
and you know, you know that it's because you've never heard the said words of colsolation in your life; thus, you didn't know how to comfort giyuu.
another gust of wind blew through the air, nearly ruffling your and his hair, and for a moment you think of giyuu with his hair no longer in a low ponytail, but instead it being messy and disarranged and you think of running your fingers through it. you hope you'll have such opportunity, even if only once.
another fallen onto your lap leaf helped you out of your thoughts; it would be even more awkward if you hadn't managed to say something at all, daydreaming and continuing on staying silent. you take the leaf between your fingers before it manages to fly away and take a look at it; elm.
"i'm... sorry," you finally spoke, voice quiet as to not disturb anything around. you felt so meek just hearing your own voice. "i don't really know what to say. but i'm sorry for what happened with sabito."
you took a pause; you were never one to have a good way with words, and it made everything even worse in this situation.
"just know that... i'm here for you whenever you want to talk to me about anything. i'll listen."
giyuu's head was in the same position as yours—lowered to look down at his lap. he couldn't say the atmosphere was tense, no, not at all. he knew this was a lot to digest in such a small period of time, no matter how long you've been silent, and he could see your hesitation in choosing the right words; you surely didn't voice your inability to properly comfort him, but didn't blame you for your lack in knowledge about it. he could guess why.
"it's alright," he said just as quietly, silently exhaling a small breath. it felt as if it was easier to breathe now that he had shared this bit of his past to you. "it was about time i told you anyways. i'm already glad you listened. don't bother with words."
you still felt that just listening wasn't enough.
"have you eaten yet?" giyuu broke another silence after a few more minutes of listening to the wind's unregulated breathing, wishing to change the topic to not overexert you mentally any further—what he's told you was enough and it wasn't like he wanted you to dwell on that story. he simply wanted you to know.
"forgot to."
giyuu knew quite well as of now that you tended to, much to his dismay, forget to have some of the meals throughout the day, and it didn't make it better when you could even skip lunch because of training or meetings or anything at all. once, he even told you that he was going to forbid you to enter the training grounds unless you've had at least two meals throughout the day. it's safe to say he physically couldn't do so, so for that period of time you and your exercises were safe.
giyuu didn't need to hear more from you. standing up from his sitting position on the engawa, he then offered you a hand to help you up. and with the gesture, you both knew that there was no need for more words.
the silence in the small soba restaurant never bothered you; it's a place where people came to eat, not to talk, after all. you two were the only people inside for now, but the sounds of utensils clanking and the smell of more food being cooked in the kitchen were very much present, and still, besides that, it was silent.
and still, your mind never seemed to get over how giyuu just brushed your inability to utter something reassuring off. maybe he didn't even want and didn't need the comfort you failed to provide; maybe he expected something like that from you, judging from your earlier reaction to his words just as he'd started talking. yes, he must've known you were bad at feelings, especially other people's, but was he used to it? he undeniably looked like he was, and that was just sad.
chopsticks carefully picking up the soba and guiding them into your mouth, noticing giyuu doing the same near you, your mind picked up the thought that, probably, saying something regarding what he told you about would be inappropriate, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of needing to get something out; something that could just show him that you understand him that much, at least.
"sabito would most definitely be out to get you for the mindset you have now."
out of the corner of your eye you notice that giyuu's hand, previously holding his chopsticks with a bit of noodles picked up, stops. it's not at all an abrupt stop, more like when coming to a thought one's mind has been chasing for a while already. you stop, too, having finished chewing.
and when the silence between you two starts feeling a little too long and a little too tense, and you start thinking that you may have said a very wrong and inappropriate thing, giyuu speaks up in a such relaxed and unimpressed manner that you involuntarily start questioning your choice of words. you'd expected him to get mad or upset, but not—
"you for yours, too."
oh.
"...touchè."
well.
the nights are—mostly—always silent.
the nights spent with giyuu are silent in their own, unmistakable way.
you two seem to create another form of serenity together—everything becomes as still as possible, wind appearing barely once for a few moments to ruffle the trees' leaves and then disappear without a trace.
your head is gently laid on giyuu's lap and gaze fixed on the night sky above with the stars filling the inky abyss, each sparkling more than the previous, as if trying to catch your attention, your eyes move from one to another, wanting to get a look at them all, wanting to engrave the look of them in your mind and keep it here; but there was just so much — you aren't sure if there even exists a number as big as the number of stars up there.
("do you think we get a star out there after death?"
"...maybe."
"would you try to look for mine when i die?"
"..."
"...sorry."
"...i would.")
with giyuu still looking somewhere in front of him—you can't quite decipher where, maybe he's just spaced out—your hand somewhere a bit lower your chest and his hand laying loosely over yours, you close your eyes and slowly inhale the night air; it smells of pine and momentarily happiness.
a few moments later giyuu's head tangibly shifts, and, having little self-restraint when it comes to curiosity, you open your eyes again—maybe he'd be looking at something different now?
and as your eyelids open, you find him to be staring at no one other than you.
eyes usually cold as a snowstorm and endless as the abyss above you both have now descended to endearment and devotion as they look into yours. they twitch slightly lower and to the side, watching your lips for a few seconds, before coming back upwards to your eyes.
he's so enchanting—close to being as enchanting as the stars he's now blocking your view of. maybe he even looks like one in your mind, or maybe it's just his endless eyes, the colors of which blend into the matching endless night sky. you notice yourself not minding the blocked view if the one doing it is giyuu.
with the main sight now being his eyes instead of the gleaming celestial bodies—you can't exactly complain—you feel like staring into them an eternity more, and then another and another until you've memorized each and every pattern in them. and you're sure that if eyes could talk, both your and his would scream affection.
"you're blocking the view," you say, having no more stars to see right in front of you, them being replaced with giyuu's face.
"you seem to be enjoying it all the same," giyuu declares, unimpressed, despite his eyes narrowing the slightest bit in amusement. you're pretty sure his mouth's corners nearly curve upwards. you would've loved to witness him smile, especially at the moment.
you hum quietly, eyes wandering over his face—how can one attract so much? and it's not just about his beauty; he's everything you've ever needed and didn't know you ever needed in your life. "i never said i wasn't enjoying it."
giyuu, too, can't seem to be able to tear his eyes away from you—starting from your eyes as well, they descend lower to your lips (he's a very patient man), neck—and he regrets both of you being too shy and humble to try and leave hickeys on each other, he would enjoy that sight very much—then your uniform which just suits you so much, and, in the end, your hand, one of which is held by his—when did he go from it simply lying on top of yours to holding it?—and he involuntarily laces your fingers together slowly, eyes following each and every movement. your hands are almost just as his—arms a bit scarred underneath the clothes, skin on the palms calloused from holding your katanas, along with healed nicks and occasional cuts.
humming as well in acknowledgement of your words, his gaze follows the trail back to your face and settle back on your eyes. he has to remind himself to not look into them too long, fearing he'd get too lost in their infinite beauty.
"we could stay like this forever," giyuu suddenly speaks up, and with the quietness of the words said they don't seem to disturb the silence at all.
"we could."
you get what he's trying to say. there was never enough time for both of you since the moment you've joined the demon slayers, and then the hashiras, signing yourself a death warrant when doing so; it's pointless to deny the truth and the inevitable, and you both long learned to embrace it.
but all the sadness and inevitableness can be forgot at times like these, right? even just for the night or for a few hours before the two of you go back to your routine duties.
"but what would you do then?" you continue, being tempted into asking the question with the smallest teasing lilt in your voice, as if prompting him to speak about his feelings about you.
feelings are hard, especially for someone like him—especially for someone with the past and job he has—but slowly, bit-by-bit, step-by-step, you try to get him to understand them, even if you're lost in your own and sometimes can't find a way out of your own feelings. you guess it comes with the job.
guyuu stops to think for, maybe, a bit more than a minute or two, and lets the silence embrace both of you again. again, it's never tense with him (you don't really want to remember the time he told you about sabito, though it still lingers in the back of your mind and comes up in the most unpleasant times), as you two gratefully grab onto the every little bit of serenity and peace you have.
while he thinks, your gaze, once again, roams over his face, with the twinkling stars now serving as a simple background for what—who—you're seeing, being a pleasant compliment to the sight in front of you. moonlight obligingly illuminates a great half of his face, letting you see most details on it, and who would you be if you missed on this opportunity?
nearly just as he's about to start talking, his lips opening and, dear gods above, he can sense your eyes shifting to his moving lips. it's always with you that he feels like a teenager—not really lovey-dovey, but it's a fact that he lets himself be more open to feelings with you.
"i would..." giyuu starts, taking a small break before continuing—to gather his thoughts, knowing you're watching him as intently as you can, and it's not in the least bit uncomfortable as it would be if it wasn't you.
"i would look at you," he says. "for the rest of eternity. i wouldn't want to do anything else besides it."
as he finishes speaking, you slowly but surely feel the tips of your ears becoming a shade of red; thankfully, it's not your face. yet.
"is that so?" you manage to whisper out, taking slow and barely audible breaths to try and calm your fast beating heart. he probably can hear it with how your back lays on his lap, but that doesn't really matter. "wouldn't you get bored?"
"never."
you're sure your face gets a small tint of red.
you, involuntarily, hold your breath after his words, eyes widening a tad bit, and it's only a few seconds later that you quietly exhale the air you didn't know you have been holding in.
the words he says are so simple—but he does have a way with them, and that's what makes you love him more and more with each syllable leaving his lips.
there's moonlight illuminating his—and your—face, and you seem to notice it just now. it shines onto a great half of his face, letting you see even more details on his skin, and if it was illegal to stare for so long, you'd be long behind bars, living your worst ever imaginable life without having something as precious and pretty as giyuu to look at.
his eyes shift. you get the hint just as his gaze moves onto your lips—you've been looking at them so attentively, it'd be a shame if you didn't notice that.
having taken a, supposedly, not so fitting of a position to kiss, you have to sit up using your hands and place them on the grass beneath you to hold yourself up, and your face moves just enough for him to understand. you don't make any rash movements; you're careful but your intentions are evident.
giyuu's face shifts closer, too. it moves forward until he feels like both your and his lips are soon to meet together. one look into each other's eyes is all it takes for his appearance to soften and lean towards you.
your lips touch in a kiss and you feel like you could die right now and there because of how soft it feels, coming from him, usually so sharp and harsh; it feels like your lips are melting together but you don't have it in you to mind—it's been far too long since you two have had any time to yourselves and your small affections and you don't know when you'll have another night like this.
his eyes settle closed the same time as yours do, and as much as you like looking at him, it just helps the atmosphere around you even more. giyuu's lips slowly, gently move against yours and you just happen to think of how tender they are, and that warms your chest more than anything.
it's silent and wordless with giyuu, and you just happen to love it.
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manyfandomfanatic · 2 months ago
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Linked Universe Headcanons :3
Btw, these are all from my hyperfixated ✨IMAGINATION✨ so if they don't make sense, sorry.
Sky 'curses' by saying things like 'holy shiitake mushrooms' and 'crapadoodledoo'
Legend hates thunderstorms bc of his... Uh... Yk...✨trauma✨
Hyrule is always ✨depressed✨ bc the chain talks about all kinds as food and most of the time he has NO CLUE what they're talking about👁👄👁
Time likes Wind bc he imagines him and Malons kid would be like him
Twilight looks at his shadow for Midna OFTEN, so much so people have NOTICED. Wind is confused when he looks upset though bc he can see her
Wild CANNOT bake for his LIFE. He tried making bread ONCE but the bread was totally black and burnt but the inside was STILL undercooked and HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! He said to Flora he made Holy Bread ('I burnt the hell out of it!')
Wind dislikes wilds soup days bc he misses his grandmas soup. 1: its not as good (he thinks) and 2: he misses her and Aryll in general
Fours eyes constantly flash back and forth from blue+purple in battle. The chain has noticed. But only Time noticed that when Twilight was hurt, for a moment, his eyes turned BLACK
Warriors is always worried when eating food bc he doesn't want to be poisoned. Wild now makes sure wars can see when he cooks as much as possible so he knows he's safe❤❤
EXTRA: Wolfie will sleep all night with ANYONE we free nightmares obvi. But the most heart wrenching time was when Wind had a nightmare abt his sisters death😀
THIS TOOK TO LONG BUT I LOVED IT RAHHHH
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littlelambscandyland · 3 months ago
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hello! I was wondering if your asks were open. If so could I maybe make a request!! It’s for scream (1996)! Like maybe a short prompt or a longer one, or even headcanons! Whatever you prefer of Billy and Stu (or just one if easier) with agere reader? I wouldn’t say forced agere but maybe forced cg if that makes sense? The reader already regresses, but they force their way into caring for reader despite how unwanted it is!! And maybe with masc or GN reader? I’d prefer if it was a bit sillier, until reader finds out about them being ghostface (if you get to that), or it can just be after they know that they both are ghostface! Preferably no diapers and stuff, if possible!! If not that’s okay!!! (˶‾᷄ ���̫ ‾᷅˵) just do whatever you wanna do, if you decide to answer this ask. tysm!! sorry for my nervous rambling lol
Hi! I'm so, so sorry it took so long to get to this. My hyperfixations have been kicking my butt and I only just got back into my slashers fixation. I decided to do headcanons and a short story at the end. I hope I do you justice!
Just A Little Forced (Headcanons & Story)
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So, let's say for this scenario that you were already a part of their friend group. We can go ahead and assume that this has given both killers plenty of time to study you and learn whatever they need to without stalking too much, even though we all know they still will.
So, let's say they distinctly told you not to come to the party or maybe you regressed and decided not to go, either way you don't go and make it out unscathed. Now let's say that the men got away with all of it, and the next time you see them you're visiting them in the hospital.
After everything calms down you continue to be friends with them. Both seem a bit more intense than before, but you just assume after a traumatic event like that anyone might become a bit more edgy.
Now let's say one of them slips up, most likely Stu, but, oops, turns out they knew about your regression for a really long time. For a second you panic, at least I know I would, and you wonder how they knew or did they think less of you because of it.
Billy is the one to explain it away. Manipulating his words perfectly to make certain situations seem like clear indicators even though they're not. Stu's the one to tell you that they don't think less of you, if anything they think it makes you better!
So, the three of you go on like this for a short time, before the two practically collapse at your feet asking to be your caregivers. Of course, you trust the both of them, they're your best friends, so you say yes.
Good Golly the can of worms you just opened!
If you thought they were intense before you're really in for it now. Billy was protective before, but now he's always hovering and glaring at people. Stu loved getting you and Billy gifts, but now you're no longer given a choice when he sees you looking at something too long.
They're so incredibly sweet in and out of regression. Sometimes, well most times, they will cause you to slip just by acting and talking those certain ways. As much as you try to apologize for slipping when it's "inconvenient" they rebel by coddling you with affection until you forget any guilt.
Stu is amazing at bedtime and playtime. He makes both of them fun and calming. He tucks you in and will read a bedtime story or screw up a lullaby. He really loves anything you want to do, play dress-up, play with dinosaurs, with nerf guns, play video games, or with building blocks, he's your guy. He is also your go-to when sad. He is really good at making you smile/laugh in those moments, not to mention all those silly nicknames he gives you.
Billy is great with mealtimes and calming you down. When it's time to wind down he knows just what to do. He's often the one helping with bath time and making sure Stu doesn't put you in something "too stupid". He is the best at making sure you eat good and get to bed on time. Despite Stu being your go-to when sad if you want some good comfort rather than a distraction Billy is a much better pick, holding you until you're no longer sad.
All in all you're well taken care of for a while. That is until Ghostface comes back. At first you worry about the two and if they may be a target of this copycat, but both men pacify your worries. With their lack of care for this killer you turn to ignore it as well.
Now let's say you were going through one of their rooms. Maybe you lost a stuffie, or a block, or maybe curiosity was just getting the better of you. What you found certainly wasn't what you were looking for. A black and white mask and a bloodstained knife.
After their failed attempt at lying away the items they revert to option two, locking you away. It's not like they can kill you, no, you're their baby, but they can't just let you go either.
It works well for the both of them anyways, they already didn't like you having to leave and do all those "adult" things and now they had a reason to make you stay. Not to mention they can just keep you at Stu's house since the Ghostface killed his parents.
After this they try their best to comfort you. They hate that you're trying to push them away. Not to mention you found everything out while regressed, oh they feel terrible.
Billy practically moves in with you both, but he still has to entertain his father, at least for now. Both men still try to coddle you and occasionally will force their affections on you when you push them away.
Things are much more strained after, but if you can move past the fact that they're serial killers and focus on how good they are at being your caregivers then you'll be as golden as before if not better, now that they don't have to hide that part of themselves anymore.
~~🔪~~~~~~~~~🔪~~~~Story Under Cut~~~~🔪~~~~~~~~~~🔪~~
You ran as fast as you could, stumbling through the halls, and laughing. You made a bet with your Daddy Stu that you could beat him to the bedroom. Of course, not that you knew, Stu let you win, so he and Billy could gather all the snacks for your little movie marathon. It also helped get out some extra energy so they could get you to sleep later.
The two men lingered in the kitchen for a bit longer while you ran to the room. Once in there you jumped on the bed and waited for your daddies to join you. Well, you were going to wait but you accidentally knocked one of your stuffies off the bed. 
You throw your arm down the crack between the wall and the bed that your stuffed friend fell. You search and search for your fluffy friend only to pull out a weird looking magazine, a mask, and finally your friend.
You look at the little hoard you’d gathered from the gap. You found yourself grossed out by the magazine and you already had your stuffed friend wrapped in your arms, so you turned your attention to the black and white mask.
You inspected it closely: the divots and scratches, the stains and the tears. Suddenly you felt increasingly unsafe. Why did this thing have so many red speckles on it? Was it blood? No, no, you Daddies would never do anything bad. It must be fake, for a costume, right? You pushed your hand back down the hole and dug around until your hand hit something hard. You grabbed a hold of it and pulled it out almost easily. Your tiny heart practically stopped when you saw the long blade. Something red clung to the very base of the blade due to poor cleaning. This wasn’t real you thought. 
You went into hysterics crying and hyperventilating as your mind slipped further and further down due to the panic. Whatever big kid part of your brain was still working shut down as you regressed more and more.
Both men were laughing as they entered the room, at least that was until they were made aware of the scene happening right there on Stu’s bed. Stu was quick to spring to action, scooping you up in his arms even as you tried to fight and flail away from him. Billy stood almost statue-like for a moment as he assessed what had made you so distressed, a firmer look grew on his face as he noticed the mask and knife laying out on the bed.
It was like time stopped, and, yet everything moved much too quickly. Billy tried to lie it all away while Stu tried to calm you. Neither worked.
Weeks had passed since the incident, you finding out about their secret hobby. Weeks since they locked you in Stu’s home and didn’t let you leave. Days since you’ve last allowed yourself to relax. Days since you’ve last regressed, not trusting them anymore.
The boys had barely changed. They still acted as loving and as doting as before. The only difference is now you know where their hands have been. You know what they’ve done; what they’re capable of. You’re terrified of them, disgusted, and angry.
You lay here now on the bed of a room they’d decorated just for you. You lay there waiting, knowing they’d be home soon, knowing they would try to make you regress again. You wait because you don’t know if you can fight the regression, not tonight. You need all the time you can get to prepare to remind yourself who those two actually are. Sure, they take care of you, but they’re still murderers.
When they do finally get home Stu calls for you at the door. “Pumpkin! We’re home!”
You can hear the smile in his voice. A part of you wonders what they were doing out there. Were they doing normal everyday things, the child in you wonders if they went to a park or arcade, or were they out doing more terrible things to people?
You listen as their steps get closer. You listen as they open the door. You turn away when they come towards the bed. Tears gather at having to turn away the only people you ever fully trusted.
“Baby, turn back around.” You hear Billy command softly.
“Yeah, c’mon you’re hurting our feelings over here.” Stu chimes in, and you can hear his pout.
You shake your head into the pillow. A shaky breath comes out of you. It’s hard not to regress simply by the way they talk to you.
“Okay then.” Da- Billy says.
You feel the bed dip before you’re pulled roughly into one of their arms. As your heart beats rapidly you’re turned to face him. The second your eyes meet Billy’s you’re pushing him away and crying to be let go.
“Oh, hey, hey! It’s okay. You’re okay!” Stu tries to pacify while he comes over to sit next to Billy.
“No, no! Let me go! Let-” You’re cut off by Billy.
“That’s enough!” He practically hisses.
Your heart drops. He never talks to you like that. Even these past few weeks he hasn’t gotten angry at you. Not until now. You could feel your breathing quicken.
“Look what you did.” Dadd- Stu scolds Billy. “You scared them.” He says rubbing his larger hands down your arms in attempted comfort.
“Don’t coddle them, Stu. They’ve been acting like a brat for over a month now.” Billy argues angrily.
“Jus go away…” You whisper, trying weakly to push either away from you.
It almost hurts, shoving the thoughts and feeling away; the want to be held by them, the need to slip further and further into that child's mindset.
“Oh, come on, angel… You know your daddies just wanna take care of you.” You curl in on yourself as Stu tries again to soothe you.
“We���d never hurt you. We’ve taken care of you so well, haven’t we?” Billy claims while stroking your cheek with his thumb.
Stu leans over and you’re practically pinned between your two caregivers. A part of it was comforting. Like cuddling on the couch, but that wasn’t the situation. Stu sits his head on your shoulder and his eyes meet Billy’s and it’s like they’re talking without saying a thing.
“You know~” Stu starts with a growing smile. “Your daddies bought something for you while we were out.”
Despite yourself, you get excited. The little in you pushing out slowly got incredibly excited at the thought of a gift. Your daddies always got you the best gifts.
Wait, wait, they still aren’t safe… Right?
Stu jumps off the bed and grabs the bag they discarded by the bedroom door. Billy maneuvered you so your back faced him rather than Stu. The taller man finally sits back on the bed holding the bag.
He leans down slightly and whispers with a grin. “Do you want to open it?” 
As much as you wanted to continue to fight, your excitement won, and you nod your head.
“Hear ya go!” He says pushing the bag towards you.
Opening the bag you’re met with something dark green and soft. You grab it lightly and pull it out of the bag. Your excitement grows when you see the face of a T-Rex. You try to hold back the smile and giggle building in your throat.
“Do you wanna see something cool?” Your Daddy Billy asks from behind you.
You nod quickly in response. Without hesitation he presses the dinosaur's foot and the toy comes to life. A loud roar shoots out of it. You can’t hold back any longer and you let a laugh rip through you. 
Both men silently celebrated at your reaction. You press the dino’s foot again and again with a smile. Soon your Daddy Stu takes the toy from your hands and the three of you shift slightly so it’s easier for you to play.
You pause every once in a while, fear creeping in until one of your caregivers pulls you back. Yes, you were trapped and yes you were scared, but you guess it could be worse.
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whaledenwtf · 1 year ago
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Halsin x Druid!Reader - The Forest's Calling
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I'm currently HYPERFIXATING on Baldur's Gate 3. This is my love letter to Mount Halsin, the elf I would climb until my limbs fell off. You're welcome (or I'm sorry). Cross-posted on AO3 here: Link Enjoy!
Warnings: afab!reader and Male Smut, Dom/Sub Dynamic, Breeding Kink, Creampie, Choking, Oral (Female and Male Receiving), Kinky DRUID Forest Sex, Misuse of the Entangle Cantrip (hehe), Size Difference
I tried to keep Halsin in character as much as possible, but there is a significant change when y'all get funky
WORD COUNT: 4691
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Nature calls to you, as it always had. The sounds of the forest have always been your favourite. Silvanus' creations had made you feel complete. The moss between your toes, and the swaying of trees; you had never felt so much peace during such perilous times. It's at times like this you are gracious for your god's teachings; nature is chaotic as it is gentle, and things will sort them out- if that is what is determined. This is how you kept such a level head during this adventure. Some of your companions saw your level-headedness as worrisome, but you always remind them that to persevere is in the forest's nature, and so it is in yours.
No good ever came from stressing over obstacles in your life.
"If you could stop thinking about the grass for five seconds, I'd appreciate you listening to me. Tch- tree huggers." Astarion tells you annoyed. You look into his crimson eyes and smirk.
"This tree hugger is your key to freedom. Unless you forgot about the tadpole in your brain." Astarion's eyes widen, before he smirks.
"Keep talking dirty, sweetheart. Might not resist taking a bite~" You chuckle.
"Settle down. Like I told you beforehand, we must seek out the Archdruid Halsin before we continue our journey. Nobody could come close to him in terms of knowledge-" Lae'zel rolls her eyes.
"Nobody could come close to the information about the ghaik than us githyanki. You istik entertain such useless ideas." You roll your eyes at her. Before you could speak up, Shadowheart speaks to the githyanki.
"Yes. I'm sure your barbaric race would know much more." She says sarcastically. "I, on the other hand, would much rather any other option besides yours." Before Lae'zel could fight back, Karlach speaks to them both.
"Shut the fuck up and kiss already. Wasting time when we could be slaying goblins and getting closer to being free. Stop fucking around and listen to (Y/N)." You nod your head in appreciation to the tiefling.
"Besides, even if Archdruid Halsin does not know how to help us, he may offer his services regardless. Leaving him with the goblins is a fate worse than death. His ally-ship will be indispensable." This appeases those in the group who were unsure of your leadership.
"Always the cunning one, aren't you sweetheart." Astarion speaks up. You turn your head and wink.
"Let's push forward and assist in any way we can." Wyll speaks up. Gale nods, looking over our group.
"Let's be smart and proactive, we do not want to lose eachother, nor do we want to get caught. We shall stay in hiding for as long as possible. Stealth is the best way forward with our little information we have." Astarion taps your chin.
"I like you like this." You smirk at him before leading the group to the Goblin Camp.
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After killing every goblin in the vicinity, you all venture forward to a cage where a bear is roaming.
"A bear. He was probably going to be goblin fodder." Astarion says, smirking.
"Hush. Poor thing was being attacked by these goblins." Karlach speaks to him, bumping her shoulder into Astarions. He gasps, the wind being knocked out of him.
"Careful. I bruise like a peach!" He tells her angrily. She chuckles.
"And you're just as bitter as a rotten tomato-" Astarion bristles. You cut him off.
"Settle down, girls. We have time for play later. Show some respect. That bear is our charge." You unlock the iron gate before walking in alone.
"I don't think that's a good idea-" Gale says worriedly, but you shush him. When the bear makes eye contact with you, you see the gold swirling in his eyes. His mouth opens to show his sharp teeth, a warning.
You bow down infront of the bear, laying a hand out towards his snout.
"Are you sure that's... wise, sweetheart?" Astarion asks, concerned. You ignore him before speaking.
"Archdruid Halsin, it is my absolute honour to stand before you. We have come here to free you from your imprisonment and bring you back to the Emerald Grove. May Silvanus preserve us." Without a beat, the bear transforms into a tall, handsome, elf. Your eyes widen at his stature, but more at his beauty.
"Ah, a fellow druid. Silvanus has certainly looked upon me in favour. Thank you for assisting me." You realize you are still kneeling, at crotch level with the Archdruid. Your eyes flicker to his pelvis, and eyes widen at what you see. You rise to your full height, which makes you eye level with his chest. Your head tilts to look into his eyes, and notice him watching you, with a small smirk. He saw you gazing at him, how embarrassing.
"Of course, Archdruid Halsin." He shakes his head softly, braids swaying with the movement.
"Please, call me Halsin. My savior shouldn't have to call me by such a title." You nod, before looking over your shoulder at your companions. They are all looking at the tall elf in shock.
"He just- he just turned into a man!" Astarion says out loud. You chuckle.
"Yes. My preferred wild shape is a bear." He responds to the shorter elf, not looking away from you, glancing over you in curiousity. You turn back to look at him. Your eyes stay locked while you speak to your party.
"Let us leave. We will bring Halsin back to the Emerald Grove and then we can rest. I want to wash off this gods-awful goblin blood before it stains my armour." Everyone nods at that. They turn to walk out, ready to escort Halsin back. You follow your group, Gale and Wyll leading you all forward.
"Thank you, little flower. I truly appreciate you aiding me." Halsin whispers to you, matching your strides behind the group. Little flower... the nickname made you giddy. You blush softly, the heat reaching to the peaks of your ears.
"I can't leave a fellow druid behind. Especially with what those goblins were doing to you." You shake your head, looking over him and the dried blood that caked him from his wild shape form. He chuckles at your worried gaze.
"Nonetheless, the Oakfather has blessed me with your assistance. I am indebted to you for life." You turn to look at him, his easy smile and warm eyes making you feel something... magical.
"The Oakfather has blessed us many times anew. The air we breathe, the ground we walk upon, the forests. But alas, I did come to release you because we need your assistance-" His eyes widen lightly, before he looks down at you.
"What do you need, little flower?" The way he speaks to you is soft, unconcerned of the questions you will ask him. His caring nature speaks to the softest parts of you.
"I will ask you once we bring you to the Emerald Grove. However, I must warn you-" You stop walking and grab his arm. Holy hells his arms are buff. You must have paused for a moment too long.
"What is wrong?" You shake your head at your own thoughts. You're acting like a toddler, instead of the adult elf you are.
"At the Emerald Grove... Kagha is planning to do the Rite of Thorns, and is releasing all the Tiefling refugees..." Halsin's eyes almost bug out of his head.
"We must stop them! That rite does more harm than good! Those Tieflings... fleeing towards death. It is not right!" You tell him passionately. He takes your hand from off his arm and grips it in both his large hands.
" We will stop them, little one." You nod. He continues to hold your hand.
"The shadow curse has been on my mind for so long, I cannot believe I trusted such a-" He shakes his head, cutting himself off.
"We will continue our trek and once we stop the rite, I will tell you all you need to know." You bite your lip.
"If I could help carry your burdens, I would." He chuckles, a light blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.
"I'm sure you would, little flower. Now, let us continue our journey. I appreciate you warning me." He lets go of your hand and waves his hand out, gesturing you to go forward, so you do. You can't help the chill that you feel when his hands release yours.
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After stopping the rite, you did speak to Halsin about the tadpoles. He sighs when he says he cannot heal you of your affliction. A shiver of fear goes through your body. If someone as knowledgeable with healing like Halsin cannot heal you, you cannot imagine how to move forward. Its then that he tells you that the Shadow-Cursed Lands may be the key to assisting you in your journey. You bite your lip worriedly.
"I will continue to assist you. I will follow your party and do what I can. Not only for the cursed lands, but also for you." He says it with such conviction, such passion, you cannot help but feel safe and warmed from his sentiments.
"I feel indebted to you Halsin. Truly." He shakes his head.
"You will be helping me much more than I, you." You smile up at him. He cannot help but be captured by the radiance of your smile. Oakfather preserve him, you are the most beautiful of his creations.
"I will help you with this shadow curse. Take back nature and restore balance. I just hope I don't grow any tentacles in that time." You say humourlessly, your laugh hollow. He grabs your chin with his hand, his thumb stroking the side of your face.
"I promise on all of the Oakfather's creations, I will not let anything happen to you." Your eyes flutter, and you glance down at his lips before looking back into his eyes.
"Thank you." You whisper to him. His attention is taken elsewhere, and his hand caresses down your neck before releasing you, and moving to the Tiefling asking for him.
You feel this feral need to have him, to help him. You're attracted to him, and you can tell this will be problematic. Oakfather preserve you.
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That night, the Tieflings throw a party for you all. The music is loud, and you can see them enjoying themselves. You look over your companions and see all of them enjoying themselves; albeit in their own ways. While looking over the festivities, you see Halsin standing away, gazing over the festivities and people watching. Your eyes make contact and you blush.
"This wine tastes like goblin piss." Astarion tells you, gagging on the swig he just took. You chuckle at him, breaking eye contact with the handsome druid to look over at the vampire.
"Not your type of red drink?" You ask him flirtedly. He smirks at you and leans into you.
"No, sweetheart. My type of red is standing right next to me, as radiant as ever." His face gets close to your neck and he sniffs you deeply.
"All of a sudden, I am thirsting for something else." He tells you. You chuckle at his advances.
"Are you now?" You flirt back. He smirks down at you.
"You're much more fun to speak to like this, sweetheart. I can't help but want a taste." You giggle at him, before taking the wine from his hand and taking a couple mouthfuls.
"Oh gods it does taste like goblin's piss." You splutter out. He laughs at your turmoil.
"Oh darling, you make me laugh." He tells you. You grin at him.
"Glad my misfortunes bring you joy." He smiles at you, sharp teeth glinting in the campfire's light.
"Mm. The only thing that would bring me more joy in this moment is having a taste of you." His voice lowers to a whisper. You roll your eyes.
"Easy there. If I didn't know you better I'd say you're a bard, singing my praises so I could follow you to your tent for the night." You push his chest gently.
"I'm sure I can make you sing, sweetheart." He tells you, looking at you with a smirk.
"As much fun as we would have, I think you've had enough to drink." You tell him jokingly, waving the bottle of wine in his face. You take another swig, and swallow down the bitterness. You go to walk forward, the alcohol driving you to your destination; Halsin.
"Ah, my little flower! It seems you were having fun." Halsin tells you, smile on his face. The crease between his brows tells you that he'd much rather had been the one sniffing your neck, rather than Astarion. You feel a rush of confidence surge through you, aided by the alcohol in your system.
"I decided to turn my attentions elsewhere." You tell him confidently. He smirks at your words.
"Is that so? Well, I am honoured to have such attentions on me." He tells you in a whisper. You almost whimper at his words, feeling hot. You feel as though molten lava has replaced the blood in your veins, and the heat is centralized at the apex of your thighs. You rub them lightly, which catches the elder druid's attention.
"You could have much more than attentions on you tonight, Master Halsin." Your voice lowers to a whisper, and the effect is immediate. His eyes shine golden and his smile becomes wider, more primal. Just like in the Goblin Camp, it was a warning.
"Is that so, little flower? Are you offering yourself to me?" He asks you gently, taking a step forward. You are now flush with his body, and the carvings on his undershirt graze the peaks of your breasts deliciously, hardening them. You moan quietly, looking up at the gargantuan man through your eyelids.
"I'd like to explore you, Master Halsin. See if those rumours of your... generosity are true." You feel his arm wrap around your waist, his hand resting at the small of your back. His fingers seem to tighten, digging softly into your skin.
"You seem to enjoy calling me by my honourifics." You hum, smirking at him.
"I'm just calling you by title. You would like to be my master, would you not?" He growls lowly, much like a bear would.
"You're playing a dangerous game, little one." He tells you huskily. You giggle at him.
"The only games I would like to play are with you, Master." In his eyes you can see him having an inner battle. You take the hand on your waist in yours, which snaps him out of his inner turmoil. The alcohol is rushing through you now, your (very little) inhibitions non-existent now. You pull it closer to your face, before taking a thick finger in your mouth and worshipping it. You kiss at the pad of his forefinger before licking it; inevitably taking it into your mouth and sucking on it softly. He watches you entranced, groaning softly as you let go of his finger with a pop. You take his hand in yours, and pull him towards the edge of the camp, leading to the forest. Once you find the small grove in the forest, you let go of his hand, spinning in place and enjoying the silence of nature. He stays at the edge of the tree line, watching you with sharp eyes.
"Little flower-" Halsin says softly. You turn to look at the man with a smile.
"Our worries are for dawn. With the moonlight shining on us, and the trees as our witness, I would like to show you the pleasures of the flesh, as nature intended." He groans loudly now, far enough from the camp that your voices would not carry.
"I'm afraid to lose myself. The beast-" You pull off your nightshirt, exposing your breasts in the moonlight. You then pull off your pants and undergarments in one shot, fully baring yourself to his sight. He inhales deeply, eyes looking at you up and down multiple times. You begin to to dance sensually, your hips seeming to beckon him forward. He takes a couple of uncertain steps.
"Halsin. I am not one so easily afraid of beasts. Let me help you forget your woes for a night." His resolve seems to crumble, and he runs to you, leaving you both chest to chest.
"Little flower, I will devour you-" You moan, pulling his hair to bring him to your lips. His chapped lips touch yours, and it feels as if there is magic flowing through your bodies. His hands find purchase under your thighs, lifting you up into him. Your legs wrap around his waist, and you moan into his mouth. His tongue prods at the seam of your lips, persuading you to open your mouth to his. Your tongues find each other, and a battle of dominance begins. You lose easily, his gifted tongue prodding and licking at yours with wanton need. You release each other to inhale deeply. He inhales from his nose and groans.
"I can smell your need, little one." You whimper, looking into his eyes.
"You're overdressed, Master Halsin. Allow me to undress you." He lets you down out of his embrace, and you begin to untuck his sleepshirt out from his pants and over his head. You begin to untie his pants, helping him out of them as well. That's when you notice he is wearing no undergarments, and his cock is thick and long, closer to the length of your forearm. You whimper, falling to your knees and looking up at him.
"You don't need to please me-" You cut him off.
"I want your cock to hit the back of my throat until I am unable to speak." He moans loudly, before your hand grasps him at the shaft.
"The Oakfather blessed me with such a giving partner. I- Oh Silvanus-" You take him in your mouth, licking at the tip. You taste his musk, and he tastes like pine and mint, and something that makes you absolutely feral. Without a care for your own wellbeing, you try to swallow him whole, his tip hitting the back of your throat, and then some. He groans, eyes closing as one hand finding itself locked in your hair and the other forming a fist at his thigh.
"That's right little druid, take Master's cock into the back of your throat." His voice goes down an octave, and you feel a rush of slick leave you. Taking him out of your mouth, you kiss the shaft downward until you take his heavy balls in your mouth and suckle. You're panting with need, moaning into his skin. You let go of him, one hand stroking his cock and the other inching down your body to touch your cunt. He looks down at you then with hooded eyes, and moans again.
"Are you touching your needy cunt, little flower? I cannot wait to fill you with my seed until your entire being is satiated." You moan, needing him back in your mouth. You remove the hand on his shaft and deepthroat him again, only getting two thirds of his member into your mouth. You hear your need, the wet sounds coming from your pussy only arousing you further. He begins to thrust into your mouth and you choke on him. After making sure you were alright, he continues his movements, thrusts getting rougher. The hand in your hair tightens and pulls you off his cock, as he growls.
"I will pound your quim until you are unable to walk without my healing, little one." His hands grip your upper arms and lifts you up to stand. Your face is smeared with his precum and your spittle. Once you are stable on your two feet, he kisses you passionately and you moan into him. His hands are touching you everywhere. His touch is searing hot. His hands find themselves at your breasts, rubbing and pinching the peaks of them.
"O-Oh Halsin. Don't stop." He chuckles into your ear.
"I'm not planning to stop until dawn shows itself." You whimper at his words, thrusting your chest deeper into his ministrations. You hear Halsin whisper before your hands are being pulled behind you, tightly grasped. Your feet are also held up, spreading your legs open. You notice that vines grew from the ground and are holding you up like a platter to Halsin.
"As much as I love your touch, little one, I don't want you to push me off when I get a taste of your ambrosia." You moan loudly, almost caterwauling for the elder druid.
His large hands caress up your leg, massaging the skin of your calves, before going higher.
"I wish you could see yourself as I do in this moment, little flower. You're exquisite; truly one of Silvanus' greatest creations." You blush, heaving.
"H-Halsin, please-" He chuckles at your enthusiasm.
"Don't fret, you will be chanting my name soon enough." His confidence is addicting, you could feel how drenched you were even with your legs spread so far apart. His hands finally reach close to your core, and he spreads your slit further open to look at you. You could feel your hole contracting, as if begging for an intrusion.
"By the gods... Look at your tight cunt begging for my cock. Can't wait to have a taste." You feel his breath on you. You look down and see him watching you, as his hands slide up to your breasts to play with your nipples like he had before. The first stroke of his tongue on your clit sent a sensation of pleasure up your spine. You struggle against your bonds, with an insatiable urge to grasp his hair and tug him deeper into you.
His tongue then ventures lower, tasting your essence. He moans loudly into your body, the vibrations of his moan pleasing you greatly. He continues licking you, tasting you as he tweaks your nipples, tugging before massaging. You felt powerless against the bonds, barely hearing anything more than the rush of blood in your ears.
"Your nectar... is just like honey. I can't wait to have you cum on my tongue multiple times." You moan. You can tell you're already close to your precipice, his words, moans and tongue vibrating and licking against your clit deliciously.
"Please... please Master Halsin-" He groans at the honourific. He plunges his tongue into you, lapping you at your source. His nose nudges your clit and that sets off your orgasm. You feel yourself leak onto him, his tongue cleaning your mess. You're shaking with oversensitivity, but he does not stop. One of the hands on your breast caress back down the length of your body, before he pulls away from your core. He grins up at you as he thrusts two of his thick fingers into you. He curls them, as you begin to shake harder.
"That's it, little one. Let all those in the forest know who is making you feel like this, making you cum and feel pleasure-" His words go straight to your core, and more of your slick leaks around his fingers.
"Halsin-H-Halsin- Oh GODS-" His lips wrap around your clit, sucking and licking at you. The attention was too much; you cum again. This time, you can feel much more than slick leave your body- did I squirt? You wonder to yourself, as your body is now lashing against the constraints. You didn't have much time to think about it, as he pulls his fingers out to taste you, moaning. You look down at him, panting. He spreads you open again, this time with both hands, before his tongue is back in you, tasting you like you were water and he was a man dehydrated. You whimper, begging him to give you reprieve. He pulls off of you, his mouth and chin covered in your release. He was panting, his eyes glowing a bright amber.
"You have no idea what you unleashed, little one." He growls out. You feel the vines dissipate. You're laid on the forest ground gently. Before he could move, you flip yourself over with enthusiasm, laying your upper body parallel to the floor and your lower body in the air. You wiggle your ass, one of your hands going between your legs and spreading yourself open. You look over your shoulder and look him directly in the eye. He is watching you with wonder, before you speak.
"Breed me, Master Halsin. Empty your seed in me and fuck me into a stupor." He growls, before kneeling behind you.
"I'll make sure you can't walk for weeks, little one. I'll spread you nice and good." You feel the tip of his cock at your entrance. He rubs himself up and down your slit, gathering your juices.
"Look how wet you are. Such a good little druid for me." You whimper at his words. Without warning he thrust into you, going to the hilt. His heavy balls hit against your clit, and your mouth goes open in a silent scream. He begins a brutal pace, pounding into you. One of his hands reach around your body, his large hand grasping your neck. His hold is tight, but not painfully so. You feel lightheaded, all your senses being overwhelmed by the Archdruid. You feel as though your floating, the only thing tying you to this plane of existence is the continuous thrusts from the elf behind you. You felt as though you were split open repeatedly, his cock reaching places in you that you were unsure existed before today. He growls as he pounds into you, and you begin to feel claws against your neck, before they retract.
"You make me feral, little one. I'm gonna fill you with my seed, fill you with pups." You moan, breathless. His thrusts begin to falter, but they seem to go deeper. You feel yourself fluttering around him, as you gasp.
"I-I'm close." You whisper to him. He groans.
"I feel you fluttering around me, little one." He chokes out. After a handful of thrusts he cums with a shout, and you constrict around him, cumming once more. You feel his seed in you, so abundant that it leaks out around him. You both pant for a couple seconds. He releases your neck and you gasp an inhale.
"Did I hurt you?" He asks you softly. You shake your head enthusiastically.
"N-no. Oh gods Halsin. I am unsure how I will walk right ever again." You tell him breathlessly. He chuckles at that, caressing your back and thighs with gentleness. You feel him slowly pull out of you, taking care to not punish your core anymore. You whimper at the loss, feeling your mixed spend leaking out of you. He flips you over softly, wanting to look you over. His hand goes to finger you lazily. You shriek, body seizing up.
"Not a drop goes to waste." He tells you huskily. After a couple moments, he pulls his fingers out too, and directs them to your mouth. You suckle on the digits, the taste arousing you once more. You both look into each other's eyes as you did this. Once he removes his fingers from your mouth, his lips replace it, tasting both of you on his tongue. He groans into your lips. You kiss for a couple moments, before you both need to separate so you could inhale. You felt utterly spent. He goes to lie down next to you, and your eyes follow him.
His hands begin to massage your sore muscles, before pulling you onto him. You felt utterly spent. He holds you into a lover's embrace and you can't help but sigh into his chest, caressing his pectorals and cuddling into him. You feel his lips on the crown of your head, leaving a trail soft pecks and kisses. You both lay there, absorbing the beauty of nature and speaking about your lives before the parasite and the shadow curse until the sun rose.
END
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abstract-crossverse · 8 months ago
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Could you do Phobos x fem!reader headcanons? Pretty please with a cherry and sprinkles on top? 🙏🙏
Weeeell since you asked so nicely… Been a while since I wrote for Phobos lmao, I do love this director, also I'm so sorry I've been away for so long, I got hyperfixated on other things and just been working my life really I got a little carried away… Yall deserve something big for how long I’ve been away lol, enjoy I still don’t know when a name ends in s if I still use ‘s or just ‘ at the end of it when merging “is” to the name…
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Phobos x Fem!Reader // [hc/fic, fluff]
You probably met while you worked as an engineer for Nexus, let's switch things around, I mostly see scientist readers or something, it's not a bad thing but I wanna explore engineers and soldats as well, buckle up
Here’s the thing that I should explain before anything, Nexus Engineers and Soldats are not yellow blooded, those were not made in the labs, alr? These are your everyday Joes who are a little more interesting than your casual grunt with their knowledge, engineers are promoted with their knowledge to fix things and good insight while Soldats are promoted with high combat skills and high ambition, endurance and shit, all of them start as normal agents, got it? Alr lets go
You probably didn't work for anyone in specific, freelancing and fixing anything you could for a quick buck, you had a good reputation as one of the best engineers around Nexus City though. Phobos caught wind of your existence while passing one of your buddies who did work for him, the Soldat was telling their co-workers about your skills and how “you could fix anything you touched”. He's really exaggerating here, but he’s always been supportive of you, we’ll call him…. Tom, for easy reference.
The Director grew skeptical of your skills, it almost sounded too good to be true, and with how highly this mortal was talking about you, you must be good, after all, this was one of his top soldats, he wouldn’t be lying if he knew what was good for him.
“Really? She’s that good?” Phobos’s voice boomed from the door to the break room, many of the grunts flinched and straightened their postures in the Director’s presence, including Tom, who scrambled to turn around — knocking over his chair in the process — singled out as the rest of the room took a step back. The soldat stammered, caught completely off guard by Phobos’s sudden appearance, tensing as the much taller grunt stepped closer.
“Answer me, Soldat, is she as good as you say she is?” He asked with a dangerously calm tone, it was threatening, as if the Soldat said one wrong word he’d be beheaded on the spot, Phobos couldn’t bother to remember his name. 
Tom swallowed the lump in his throat quietly as Phobos towered over him, his glaring red monocle almost casting a red spotlight on his face, he seemed to take a deep breath before answering confidently, “Yes sir, she is the best I’ve seen in a long time.”
One of the engineers scoffed at that, unfortunately just loud enough to make the Director shoot them a glare, making their blood run cold and lower their head in fear. Phobos hummed in acknowledgment, returning to Tom “... very well.” Phobos drew in a breath, “Lucky for her, we are still in need of recruits, especially engineers, so they can help with the machines and whatever else they do around the Tower. You will bring her here tomorrow for an interview, if she’s as good as you say, she will be hired.” with the demand in place, Phobos stood back up to his full height, looking down at Tom as he slightly shook in his boots.
“... and if I don’t..?” 
Phobos’s glare intensified at the question, Soldats always seemed to be curious about the most insignificant things, how dare he question Phobos’ orders. 
“Then I will personally make you an example as to why you shouldn’t lie about someone’s capacities to me.” He finished sharply, turning on his heel and marching out of the room, nearly knocking Tom over with the mere force of him being hit by his cape.
As soon as the employees thought Phobos was out of earshot, he could hear many of them reprimanding Tom for not shutting his mouth when he had the chance, it did make a grin tug at the corner of his lips, thinking the way most just immediately jumped on Tom for being a little too positive about your abilities and being caught was absolutely hilarious. However, if you truly were as good as Tom claimed, then you might just earn your spot in the Tower, yet another stepping stone for his plan of achieving Godhood.
When Tom came to you with the story, you… didn’t exactly know how to feel, flattered Tom spoke so highly of you? Annoyed he dragged you into this situation? Or scared of what Phobos might do to you if you didn’t meet his expectations… Either way, anxiety shot up, you had been questioning whether to apply to Nexus Core though, maybe actually get a full-time job instead of living off freelance, so this was the best time than any other to actually get that job. Or suffer Phobos’s wrath.
You dragged Tom inside your home to explain to you how the machines in Nexus Core looked so you didn’t have any surprises when going over. It was very bare bones; Tom knew nothing of machines aside from basically what they did, but it was enough to help you through and figure it out yourself.
When the next day came, you put on your self-assigned work clothes and got a ride with Tom to the Science Tower, yawning the majority of the way there. Tom had to go in early as shit due to his status, meanwhile, you usually got to sleep in unless you had a job, you weren’t used to the early routine, but nothing a cup of coffee on the way there didn’t fix.
Going through the Tower was long-winded, to say the least, the thing looked bigger on the inside, and the number of floors… Christ, you were starting to reconsider this opportunity on the 10th flight of stairs you had to go through, and you weren't even in the middle of the tower yet. But going around the rooms you normally would’ve never had clearance to as a normal visitor to the museum part of the place was good to know which type of electronics you’d be working with; they seemed… complicated, and it made you nervous.
Tom had been leading you by the hand because he just didn’t want you to get lost, and then get yelled at for it, so before you knew it you were faced with the Director’s entry doors. The guards were cold in their tones, requesting Tom state his business before letting you both through, and honestly, you were not surprised to see how huge the office was, what you didn’t expect though was to see other scientists working around in the same room, just right there next to the Director, you wondered if these were high-rank employees or if this was a way of keeping them under Phobos’s personal surveillance.
The Soldat let go of your hand and gave you a look of reassurance before you both looked at the towering silhouette at the top desk, seeming to admire his city out the window; the scene looked like something almost out of a movie. Tom took a deep breath before marching up to his office, with you following suit, pausing only for a moment to hear the G03LMs announce your approach.
As you approached his desk, he didn’t turn to you both just yet. Glancing at the other two Soldats standing guard to his sides made you double-take; they looked almost exactly like Tom did in uniform, only these guys seemed to have more buttons and pins on their uniforms than Tom did, those must be a bitch to take off every laundry day. Tom cleared his throat lightly before bowing his head to the Director, motioning for you to do the same before speaking.
“Director, I have brought the engineer you requested.” Tom announced almost as if talking to a king. 
Phobos turned from his wide window to look at you both, the light from the dawn outside highlighted very few parts of him; it almost looked like a painting if it didn’t look oddly terrifying. He seemed to take a moment to analyze you before lifting his hand and lowering it a couple of inches down. “At ease, Lieutenant. You too, Engineer.” he boomed, allowing you both to stand straight again. His tone was sharp, but not harsh, simply an order.
Phobos retracted his hand into his cape, you’re not too surprised he actually wears the thing, Tom’s told you about the times he accidentally or intentionally knocked people over with his cape whenever he came around for lunch. 
“I will take it from here, I’d like to get to know our… Possible recruit. Return to your duties, Lieutenant.” he ordered again, your eyebrows furrowed a bit as Tom nodded and spun on his heel, giving you a pat on the shoulder before marching away. Your anxiety spiked as you were left to stare up at Phobos on your own.
Okay, I'm getting too carried away here, let me speed things up a bit.
Phobos gives you an interview himself, normally it would be someone lower in rank due to his schedule being SO busy with paperwork, but again, Tom gloated about you so much he just had to see you with his own eye, completely valid reason, right? Yea, yea sure. Also, escaping from the amount of paperwork from their projects and agreements with other companies was a little nice.
He got your basic info, you answered his questions, that he had written in little slips of paper with basic answers under them he had a handful of the engineers write, he’s by no means a “tech nerd” like you engineers, but he did his best to grab the essential answer from your longer explanations with a smile on your face, you seem to enjoy mechanics, good, the ones with more passion seemed to give better results.
After all of that, he got up from his chair and walked around his desk to you, damn he was far taller than you anticipated. He said he’d give you a tour of the place and have you fix a couple of things with the other engineers, under his monitoring; we don't need you going somewhere you don't need to be, of course.
So the whole day you followed him around, grouped with a couple of random engineers in the facility; you successfully fixed something — which as much as these machines looked complicated they had pretty standard problems to be fixed so far. Around lunchtime, he took you back to his office which was mostly empty aside from some scientists finishing up work before quickly leaving to get their food and finish it within the 2-hour break Phobos gave them, which was surprising, most jobs didn't even give an hour. You may have off-mindedly muttered about that being nice, Phobos, seeing it as an opportunity to make a better impression and gloat a bit, claimed it was because he understands how huge and time-consuming getting up and down the tower to the food court and back was, plus, he enjoyed the time to himself that the break gave.
One long and unnecessary speech about how great of an asset you’ll make to Nexus Core, how he sees great potential in you, and how he can see you climbing the ranks quickly later… You're hired! Congrats, you work for the minion look-alike now. Yippee.mp3. He gave you a handshake, let you know where you could get the proper uniform for your work, and set you free to go home, saying you’d start that next Monday. Telling the good(?) news to Tom on your way out, he took you out for a celebratory lunch at your favorite place. At least he was happy you’d get to see each other more often; work always got in the way of your hangouts.
Either way, working at the Tower isn’t as bad as you thought it would be, most of the time at least; you got to know a couple of Tom’s other friends and co-workers around your first day, setting you up with one of his most “trustworthy” engineer friend. Much to their dismay, Tom begged them to babysit you until you got the hang of things in return for like… 5 favors he’d owe them in return. We’ll call this one Kai. 
Kai did as promised, giving you a more in-depth rundown of how certain machines worked and what their most common problems to fix were just to give you a heads up, claiming they were feeling generous enough to let you know. Allowing you to take the lead in fixing some of these machines similar to how Phobos did in your interview, quizzing you from time to time on the machines, what they did, or how to fix a certain problem.
As much as they were incredibly monotonous in their voice, you could tell they were just as passionate about mechanics as you were.
Something you did notice throughout the day, however, was that the Director himself was around very often.
“Yep, that’s correct once again, great job [Name].” Kai gave you a tired nod and praise as you answered their question about the cloner in front of you correctly, glad you were paying attention to their ramblings about the machine earlier. You smiled at them behind your mask, hoping they saw how your eyes squinted to know so before they began to speak again.
“Now, this one has been having some problems with faulty wiring, I’ll fix this once since this equipment is so delicate, but I need you to watch and learn how it’s fixed so you-” Their thought process was interrupted halfway through unscrewing the machine’s control panel, raising their head and looking into space for a moment before looking at the doors to the room expectantly, cycling through every couple seconds, did they hear something? You mostly just heard the beeps and scribbles from the machines and the scientists, though… you felt some slight vibration at your feet. “.. is something wrong?” 
“... The Director’s coming… again… don't do anything-” 
“stupid, I know.” you finished their phrase as they continued with their work, feeling the vibrations of his footsteps approaching far clearer than before, ‘there are 3 doors leading to this room, two on the east and west, and one north-east up a staircase, it doesn’t feel like the footsteps are coming from above but I can’t tell where the sound of his boots are coming from, but… I’m willing to bet the… east door?’
The sound of a door opening to your right had half of the people in the room looking towards it, mainly those who were so lost in their work to notice, including you and Kai. ‘huh, it was the east… lucky guess..?’
You didn’t dare look at the Director for too long, after all, you had to focus on what Kai was doing… Kai, who was inspecting what the much taller grunt was doing with interest for a minute or so before going back to work with a light huff, sounded.. Baffled? You wondered what was wrong as you watched them mess with the wires, disconnecting and reconnecting a couple of set wires before starting to close the panel again, they worked fast that’s for sure.
“See? It’s pretty easy once you know which must be reconnected or switched around. Sometimes in a hurry some other engineers or scientists who don't know what they're doing mess up the wires and make the machine faulty.. The nerve of some people…” they muttered with a disappointed look, making you chuckle briefly before nodding in agreement, not before you felt a familiar looming presence behind you, though.
The large hand on your shoulder made you flinch as the Director’s voice nearly reverberated in your chest with how close he was, like a loud bass in giant speakers. 
“Heyy, how’s the work going-... [Name]..! Liking this magnificent Tower so far?" His tone was far friendlier than you’ve heard before, a smile clear in his tone; it seemed like he struggled to remember your name for a moment but you wouldn't blame him if it was the case, with so many workers here and this being your first day…
“Oh! Uh- great! The work- well, the introduction is going great! I do.. Enjoy it here!” you answered a half-truth with a nervous smile behind your mask, you knew he probably couldn't see it but expressions die hard. “Good! Good! And- hello to you too….. Kaaaailee, yes, Kailee.'' The pause with Kai’s name was longer, and the confidently incorrect answer made it painfully obvious he genuinely didn't remember their name; it was almost charming, just a bit.
“Close yet far, sir.” Kai mumbled to themselves as they gave him a small bow “Hello, Director.”
“How’s your work?” he questioned with a small tilt of his head, his hand still firmly placed on your shoulder. 
“Nearly done, sir. I’m just teaching Ms. [Name] here how our cloners work.” Kai gestured to you as Phobos nodded with satisfaction. 
“Good good, delightful. Anyway, I must get back to my duties. You treat our new engineer well, Kailee, we don’t want a 2-week’s notice so soon!” Phobos’s laugh echoed through the room, sounding almost cartoonishly villainous as he gave two firm pats on Kai’s back before walking off through the west door.
You gave him an awkward wave even if he didn't see it, a hand lingering on the warm spot from his hand on your shoulder for a moment, ‘... that was weird’ you thought before turning your attention back to Kai, who looked to be in slight pain, leaning against the cloner for support.
“... you good?” your hand placed on their shoulder gently, concern starting to lace your voice, Kai let out a small groan in annoyance. “He never knows how to regulate his strength… either way, that was quite the odd interaction.” They stood back up straight. 
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t be clueless. You noticed him following us too, right?” You paused before nodding with an unsure look, “Yeah- well, I mean.. It could just be a coincidence, right?” Kai shrugged their shoulders, 
“Maybe, but the patterns are just too convenient…”
“Patterns?” you questioned, giving them way to elaborate “Well, when he comes around, he scans the room quietly before he focuses in our direction, then tries to act natural by looking over other people before gravitating to where we are. Looking over us or- like he just did, and maybe strikes a conversation.”
“It is a little odd when you put it like that, but doesn't he monitor new people like me too? Surely this is normal-” Kai held up a hand, something you caught on to mean he wanted to stop you mid-sentence before speaking, interrupting you but not at the same time. “Not really, no, at least not that I’ve seen.. He never did that with me at least, nor with any other engineers that I’ve trained before.”
You were about to speak before another engineer passed by you, butting into your conversation. 
“I think yer thinkin’ into it too much again, Kai. Yer scarin’ the poor gal.” he softly punched the taller engineer on the arm, holding a box labeled ‘parts’ under his other arm, the thick southern accent being the first thing you noticed before processing his appearance, he turned to you. “Don’t ye worry yer tiny head about it, rookie, I’ve seen Ol’ Bos monitor some other newbies more closely like that befo’. Seems he does this stuff to ones who he thinks are troublemakers or ‘ave had a bad impression o’ him or Nexus as a whole! Ye don’t seem like the trouble kind, he’s probably just tryna give you a good impression or sumthin’.” he shrugged, stealing your bonnet for a moment to ruffle your hair lightly with a laugh before handing your hat back to you and walking off without another word.
Kai sighed with a shake of his head, rubbing the spot he was punched at as you fixed your hair with a light chuckle, “he’s in good spirits at least.” you mentioned as you repositioned your bonnet on your head, “I guess… he could be right, or not, Phobos is… a bit unpredictable at times… I hate it.” Kai complained as you chuckled again, he motioned for you to follow again, your shift wasn’t over yet and there was more machinery to fix.
I love expanding like this, even if this is probably not what you wanted, I’ll try to speed this up again.
Even after your first day, Phobos kept… lowkey stalking you through your first week, especially after Kai stopped holding your hand through things; you boiled it down to just being him making sure you're not getting into any trouble by yourself, though, it started becoming a bit more obvious that wasn’t the true intention as he started ‘accidentally’ bumping into you on the halls or taking the same elevator to places, sometimes even walking into you seemingly without noticing as you tried getting to Tom and Kai, who often invited you to have lunch with them at the break room if you weren't getting food at the patio.
Phobos didn't understand why he felt compelled to see you, he’s monitored newbies a few times, so this shouldn't be any different, yet… it was.
Most would try to get away as soon as possible unless he actively requested to have a talk with someone, no one dared stay around for long, they feared him, it was always the intent, to be feared, respected, to be this City’s GOD. Yet you were different, you weren’t scared; nervous at most, but it didn’t seem to be directed towards his presence completely. You consumed his thoughts when he was attempting to do his work, his mind gravitating to your face, your mannerisms, your laugh… It was frustrating, what had you done to him? It’s only been a couple of weeks and he’s enamored by you, he’s been attracted to other people before, albeit before he became Director, but it never seemed to go past their appearances, but this? This was bigger, this was more.
It didn’t take long for him to make sense of his thoughts, sure, a couple frustrations didn’t go unexpressed as he seemed to be unpredictable around. One day he’d be all gleeful and conversational with you, the other he’d be distant and judgemental, you assumed he was simply having stressful days… but your gut said to ask, to figure out what was wrong with your boss, especially since some of your coworkers found themselves with the short end of his temper.
So you asked, slipping into his office after the doormen left for lunch, you knew he was in there, he said he enjoyed the time for himself. The office was empty aside from his hunched-over shadow up at his desk, he didn’t hear you slip in as your boots clicked against the floor, making your way up to him.
He had his head resting in one hand as his other held a pen to a paper he didn't seem to read, simply staring straight down, taken by his thoughts. Soon you stood in front of his desk, holding his (allegedly) favorite cup of tea you had gotten based on his orders from the cafeteria in your hands, trying to find a way to gently snap him out of his thoughts without it backfiring harshly on you. Pulling down your mask from your face and letting it lay over your upper chest as you called out his name softly.
Took about 3 times and light taps on his desk for him to see you were there, irritation shifting to surprise to see you in his office, much more without your mask, he hadn’t seen your face properly since the interview… Clearing his throat, he asked what you were doing here, you explained that you were worried about him, and how stressed he was lately, so you came to ask if he wanted to talk, to rant, anything to make him less stressed just so he doesn’t end up killing anyone for a minor mistake sending him over the edge.
… You… wanted to talk… with him? I mean of course you would, he’s Nexus’ God-Emperor and Director after all, why wouldn’t you? Your words warmed his chest, you cared? You didn’t seem like the lying kind, and he had no reason to believe you would lie to him…
Of course, your request to spend time with him was accepted with a welcome, if you were anyone else he might have thrown you out of the window though. Your lunchtime was spent listening to the Director rant about anything he felt like telling you, about the worries of a certain grunt going against his cause, the stress of his goals, and the annoyance that was needed to cater to MERC and their demands for G03LMs, the angry and poorly written emails from their manager still sat in his drafts as he tried to word an unhostile email, it was hard!
He didn’t elaborate on certain things, but you didn’t pry, maybe if you did he’d get more stressed, that wasn’t your current goal. Though you couldn’t help but feel charmed by his demeanors, obviously he didn’t pass on opportunities to gloat about himself, but after he was done ranting, he asked to know more about yourself. It surprised you he was interested in your life at all, but he insisted, so you complied.
You both lost track of time, talking and laughing about funny stories from your lives and even gossiping about things outside and in the tower. Your previous image of Phobos had been broken, that intimidation and nervousness vanishing like smoke in the air, he was just like you and the others, if not a little up his ass but he was still a grunt like everyone else; He liked to gossip, he enjoyed technology and what it could do, he enjoyed comedy, horror, and action movies.
The more you talked, the more the both of you fell for each other, at some point he had forgotten to drink his tea, by the time Lunch was over and his guards came back wondering what you both were laughing about, the tea was cold.
You were disappointed to need to go back to work but you had machines to work on, Phobos suggested you pick up your conversation again the next day. And so followed your new routine, you’d come to work, do your thing, and stay with Phobos for the lunch hour until you went back to work, he even started messaging you after a while to send you goodnights or for you to elaborate on certain things he was really curious about from your conversations earlier.
It took a few months for him to ask you out, and even longer to finally ask you to be his. He made a big deal out of it, of course, it was something private between you both but he went all out on it, flowers, tuxedo, your favorite treat, the works. You made it official on the Tower’s rooftop, watching the sunset together.
He loves you just as much as he loves himself, dare I say even more, his diamond, his queen, he wants you to rule alongside him when he achieves Godhood. He hasn’t told you the full extent of his plans though, you know it's important but he won't elaborate on what he’s trying to do.
He loves PDA, getting a kick of showing others you’re his and only his, kisses, handholding, gentle touches along your sides and shoulders, etc. he doesn’t care about who sees you together, in fact, how dare they stare in the first place.
Phobos can be a bit of a jealous partner, getting protective and possessive of you at times if you hang out with your friends for what he deems to be too long. Later when you're both alone, he’ll remind you of who you belong to with long, deep kisses, and hold you against him, trapped in his arms. It’s nothing too rough to overwhelm you, he’d never forgive himself if he dared hurt you, he tries to take it lightly and playfully, trying to make you giggle even if he’s serious about his words.
Regardless he just wants you well, if you’re in any pain at all he WILL just give you the day off, mayhaps he’ll even excuse himself to keep you in his bedroom, staying with you and getting you anything you need, painkillers, water, anything you crave at the time. Spoils the HELL out of you, and will cling to you as long as you're comfortable.
Speaking of that, he’s a HUGE fan of physical touch. He’ll trace his nails along your back and gently rub your thighs when cuddling, trace his thumb along your knuckles when holding hands, touch legs when just sitting next to each other, and can't hold hands, rest his head on your shoulder and hug you if you're sitting on his lap. Playing with your hair… He’ll never admit he’s a fan of romance books, he’s always wanted to do this with someone, and with you he can finally relax and be soft-ish for once.
Also, he’s big spoon when you cuddle, he enjoys holding you more than anything, but if you insist on him being little spoon he won't protest much, being held is nice too.
If you have a spot when you keep your things at the tower he’ll take the time to leave you little gifts, mainly small things that you mentioned you’d like to buy some time or something, flowers, treats, even just little notes to lift your spirits. He enjoys being romantic, and if it means it’ll bring a smile to your lovely face then so be it.
Some of your co-workers are slightly concerned about your relationship, warning you of his manipulative ways at times, others can't be bothered to say anything because you keep Phobos in good spirits, and keep them from being yelled at so whatever. But he’d never manipulate you I’m sure… right?
Nicknames! My Dear, Starlight, My Love, My Queen, anything to do with your name, usually he’ll put “My” before the nickname because he enjoys reminding himself that he somehow managed to bag such a lovely person. It’s the only thing he questions about how he got so lucky.
He loves you beyond everything. It’s really gonna sting when he dies… Hope you’re ready for that.
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urautismdiagnosis-wistie · 16 days ago
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what do you think the Octonauts like to do in their spare time?
thanks for the ask!
Sorry this took forever to answer i haven't been well recently but I'm doing better
I've talked about this on some different octonauts octo headcanons posts but ill make a nice neat list! These are a mix of Canon and headcanon <3
Barnacles:
he enjoys attempting to play the accordian, traditional inuit soap stone carving (not something he does often, most of his room carvings are from his childhood), using charcoal and oil pastels to paint scenery as a way to wind himself down(sometimes he'll do people but they don't look very good), sport competitions and exercising, and writing small short screenplays about the characters hes made for his carvings <3 the screenplays are usually very soft and light hearted or deeply sad.
Kwazii:
ok our undiagnosed adhd boy let's go: anything competitive or exciting! I'm talking chess (with inkling), ping pong, any type of sports competition, board games, card games-
He also has a hyperfixation on historic miniature model ships- and some modern too. Bro also LOVES to cook with the vegimals! (Even if his cooking skills are... debatable) hell often teach them (the kid friendly) version of the shanties he grew up with. Funnily enough he doesn't really share his shanties with the rest of the crew,not really...
He does enjoy girls night, esp with jewelry and claw care 💕 dashis been showing him movies and teaching him stuff about pop culture and land culture in general
Also he loves comics <3 and book kwazii enjoys long baths so I gave him a whole long self care routine.
Peso:
making stickers 🥰 playing his xylophone <3 reading all the gossip in his family group chat and trading it with dashi <3 watching inaccurate medical drama shows and making fun of them with dashi <3 knitting !!!💕 he likes to make little stuffed animals and scarves <3 also hats sometimes
He likes reading chiikawa (kwazii recommended the comic to him) and talking to his mom about their favorite romance dramas together
This last one isn't really a hobby but he does enjoy listening to pinto yap about whatever video game he's hyperfixated on lol
Dashi:
Ok speed run, yoga, photography, making tiny dumb video games with tweak (they once made one where its just the gup b and it was basically like flappy bird lol), ROOM DECOR AND PINTEREST BOARDS OH MY GOODNESS (my friend is like that lol I love it when she sends me her stuff), SURFING, BASKETBALL SHES SO COMPETITIVE IN EVERY SPORT, listening to horror podcasts and cursed pov asmr at night <3, talking with shellington about tiny random creature species!!! Also stimming <3
Tweak
: LEGOS(miniatures of the gups) 🗣 CLASSIC VIDEO GAMES( stuff like the og metroid and space invaders) 🗣 NOT SLEEPING (gurl ur room is a depression cave PLEASE get a bed frame PLEASE (dashi probably)) 🗣 GUPS GUPS GUPS she lives and breathes em baby if she's not working on a gup she's developing an idea- 🗣 she really likes cute baby animal videos 🗣 reading alternative fashion magazines 🗣 MONSTER TRUCK LEGO 🗣 dying hair with dashi occasionally (this entire post is so dashi filled loll) 🗣 LISTENING TO MUSIC 🗣🗣🗣
Shellington:
He breathes his hyperfixation about creature species. He and tweak and literally EVERYONE is SO autistic and/or nuerodivergent in some way. Anyways so I'm talking drawing sea creatures (hes a pretty good artist ngl, barnacles could take notes), researching them, comparing them, studying their biological abilities and the chemical components and possibilities of it- literally his entire job is just him having an autistic blast like good for him
But most of his free time is very much spent with the vegimals XD whether its playing with them, trying to teach them things, or just talking with them.
He also loves drawing hyper realistic animal drawings saying very very stupid silly puns. The vegimals internally react to them like dad jokes but they pretend they're very funny cuz hes SO. PROUD.
Inkling:
He enjoys doing very deep dives into topics, deep cleaning, chatting with min on video call, conducting psychological social and behavioral experiments on the octonauts, competing with kwazii and the other octonauts to challenge them (he slays),
Journaling, and even his actual job of organizing their discoveries and getting them ready for scientific peer review as well as handling all paper work sides of thibgs
He really enjoys spending time with thr other octonauts, they are ALL his children(in a "my fascinating lil creatures!! I must teach them and challenge them so that they can grow!) to him and he adores them all immensely. He likes to make photo albums with dashi.
He also enjoys not having bones because apparently when mammals and avians get old their bones hurt all the time??? So he's pretty happy about that ngl
the vegimals all have different interests: whether its having certain genres of media they gravitate too, different aspects of gardening they enjoy,or joining different octonauts in their own tasks! But they'll always love making their own songs and working together <3 also experimenting in recipes lol. A few will often join the other octonauts doing their own hobbies or try to do the hobbies they see the others doing. They are kids after all lol
This could mean tominnow joining peso and dashi while they watch their dramas, barrot being very excitable while playing video games with tweak, tunip learning how to play chess with the professor, grouber being a little princess and enjoying self care, coddish trying to learn how to sword fight with kwazii pretending to be a silly monster, or halibeet curled sleepilu next to inkling as he reads and explains what he's learning- and so on and on and on.
:3
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n30nwrites · 1 year ago
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Poly!Lost Boys x Male!Reader with anger issues?
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"Are you fucking kidding me!?"
Okay, there was a part in your brain that was saying that you shouldn't be reacting like this. This was an accident, and even then it wasn't that big of a deal, but the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, it was colder than you liked, and this person spilling beer on you was just the tip of the iceberg.
"Are you stupid? Don't answer that." You grumbled, and the drunk man in front of you decided to yell back. He took a step forward, his breath stinking as he heavily panted in your face. You went to do the same, only for a hand to yank you back.
"Calm down boy." David said, his gloved hand rubbing your wrist gently. "Can't afford to get chased right now." Max's new rules were bullshit.
"Keep your bitch on a leash." The alcoholic said, and even David couldn't hold you back.
Your hand swung back and planted right on his fist, blood coating it as his nose cracked and squirted blood. One good hit was the way to go, and he fell to the ground.
"Oh shit!" Marko pulled you away and immediately ran through the crowd, gaining the attention of another security guard.
"Max is gonna be pissed." Paul laughed, and you couldn't find joy in this moment. The motorcycles weren't far, and therefore you all rushed to get on and drive away, avoiding the humans before you.
"Fuck Max." Dwayne nodded with you, and you all drove to the cave.
You angrily get off of Marko's bike, almost stomping the ground as you jumped down into the cave. It seemed that everything had you set off today. "Are you kidding me Paul? I told you to clean this up!" The pizza boxes from 3 days ago still sat on the couch. Paul looks hurt at your words.
"Calm down." David tells you and you want to hit him.
"Don't tell me what to do."
"You aren't angry at us."
"No i'm not, i'm angry at Max, i'm angry at those surf nazis, and I'm angry at this fucking mess." You knew you couldn't blame them for Max or the Surfers, but at least with this mess you could focus on something. You picked up a trash bag and forced the boxes inside them.
"Stop." It's a command from David, one that has you hypnotized as you followed it. The bag dropped from your hands, "Come here." David has his arms held out as he grabs you. "Calm down."
"Sorry."
------
Sorry this took so long and isn't good at all??? Idk I lost inspo for a bit and since The Lost Boys was taken off everything I can't watch it and that makes me sad and non hyperfixated.
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jebbzfixations · 9 days ago
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I’ve been writing essays about criminal minds so much that you’d think it’s my number one hyperfixation, but that actually isn’t true. It was back when I first watched it, but my writing about criminal minds is more of a “research” project to me than an intense fixation. Inception, however? Oh boy. This is a long winded way of me saying I’m about to write so incredibly much about this movie that is really, truly unnecessary. I’ve done this before on letterboxd on my last rewatch, but on this rewatch, I figured I’d have more fun writing here.
I decided to rewatch mostly on a whim, deciding to take handwritten notes that’ll stay private because it’s mostly just nonsense and the bones of what I’m writing about here. I’m constantly thinking about this movie. It’s a 24/7, 365 days type of thing. This fucking film is entrenched in my every day existence to the point that I genuinely don’t think I’ve gone a day without thinking about it since the hyperfixation took hold over two years ago. In a way, Inception sort of got performed on me when I watched this. An idea got implanted, and it’s come to define me. Part of why I rewatched, I suppose, is because of all the work I’ve been putting into the Eames x Arthur fic I’ve been writing. It’s been a multi-month affair, and I recently finally hit roughly halfway through the behemoth of a story. As I’m sure you can tell, conciseness isn’t my strong suit. Never has been.
With that, I think I’ll start this analysis/essay/rambling with those two idiots. The Eames x Arthur ship (do we call it dreamhusbands? I like that even if it’s kinda corny) is what kickstarted my obsession with this film. It actually wasn’t my first watch that sent me into this never ending spiral. When I first saw it, I was sitting on my dad’s couch and was like “whoa cool movie.” Then, on a second watch, I thought, “whoa cool movie. Those two are definitely gay.” And here we are. I know any fan of this ship has picked apart every Eames-Arthur scene, considering they really don’t get a ton of screen time together. But I think I differ from a lot of the typical analysis of these two. I think a lot of people see them as scorned exes or something similar. I definitely get that lens, but I’ve personally never seen it that way. To me, they’re more so two people who have built up so much tension over time that they pretty much want to kill each other in the process of wanting to sleep together. Their conversations are all so flirty in a way I don’t think bitter exes would be. The fling theory works a little better for me, but I just don’t think two people who had already been together would act like this. There’s too much unknown, too much tension. That’s just my opinion, though. It’s hard to pick a favorite scene between the two of them, but lately it’s been the small one in the car. After the shooting and the chase, Arthur screams out to Eames asking if he’s alright. Eames is a little taken aback by the fear and urgency in Arthur’s voice, but he answers gently and assures him he’s okay. Meanwhile, poor Saito is bleeding out in the front seat actively. He’s probably wishing he got stuck with any other pairing of people. Arthur and Eames are too busy staring at each other to give a damn about anyone else. The two have an almost comical focus on each other throughout the movie. I genuinely don’t know why Christopher Nolan did that. I know a large part of it is how JGL and Tom Hardy chose to play the characters, but I mean, Nolan still wrote the scenes, right? He approved them. Did he know what he was doing?? Then why include the stupid Ariadne-Arthur kiss? I genuinely love Nolan’s work, but the thought of asking him about this makes me want to throw up. I feel like he’d call me an idiot. “How dare you turn my masterpiece into some gay love story?” Sorry, man, but that’s what my life has come to.
On that note, I do think it’s worthwhile to discuss this movie outside that focus. Despite my joking, I do think it’s a little reductive to boil this movie down to the queerness implied between two side characters. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s genuinely important to the movie and definitely very important to me, but there’s so much else about this movie that I’m itching to talk about. I typically find myself focusing on one character through a rewatch. The watch before this one, it was Ariadne. I wrote a lot about her in my letterboxd post. This time, it was actually a mix of Cobb and Saito. I know, wow, I focused partly on the main character, what a surprise. But Cobb actually is very rarely my focus when I watch this movie. He remains in the background a lot of the time to me, but this time, he caught my eye again. Mainly, his relationship with Saito. I did touch on this the last time I watched this, but it was only toward the end. This time, the full picture became clear. It is entirely fascinating to me that Saito becomes representative of Mal. It reminds me of how in Disco Elysium, Kim Kitsuragi in a way replaces Dora, Harry’s ex-wife. If you don’t know that game I guess that comparison is entirely unhelpful, but it helps me, my bad about that. Anyway, Saito becomes a way for Cobb to right his past wrongs. In Saito, he sees Mal. He sees the mistakes he made and seeks to correct them. A lot of the lines Saito says are lines Mal says as well. “A leap of faith.” Something Mal asked for, something Cobb couldn’t do. Something Saito then asks for, something Cobb becomes brave enough to complete. “This world is not real.” Something Cobb tells Mal, something that ruins Mal’s life. Something Cobb tells Saito, something that saves Saito’s life. Through Saito, Cobb can find the same catharsis that Robert is searching for. He can right the wrongs of his past. Like Robert’s catharsis, Cobb’s isn’t strictly “real.” But is there one reality? The movie tends to say “no.” So, in some world, both Robert and Cobb can heal their pains of the past. And isn’t that how life works? You can’t really right past wrongs. You can only decide that you have. I can be hurt by someone and forgive them for it. That doesn’t right what they’ve done, but it gives me peace. I think catharsis isn’t about fixing. It’s about release.
Robert is a heartbreaking character. Cillian Murphy plays him with such skill. I am forever haunted by his last scenes with his dying father. He’s in this quite frankly frightening room, a room that any sane person could tell you is not real. But it’s real to Robert because it has to be. He needs it to be. He finds that pinwheel in the safe and it’s not enough, but it almost is. It’s a chance. It’s a tiny piece of evidence that his father may have loved him. Despite years and years of evidence otherwise, if you were him, wouldn’t you believe it, too? Wouldn’t you want to believe that despite everything, your father did really love you? How would you ever be able to convince yourself that, “no, it was a fluke, that doesn’t mean anything.” That pinwheel fucking means something. It gives Robert hope. More than anything, he needs that. He cries by his father’s side and he’s finally, finally allowed to mourn him. He can clear the guilt in his heart created by all that anger. He doesn’t have to feel bad for his sadness nor his ambivalence.
“That guilt is always there, reminding me the truth.” Guilt is something that I think is incredibly difficult to dispel. I know that it unfortunately drives me. I wish it didn’t. I wish I was driven by love, or hope, or righteousness. But a lot of my motivation is guilt. I still feel guilty for things I did years and years ago, things that weren’t even my fault. Things I’ve apologized for, things I’ve attempted to make up for, wrongs I’ve (pointlessly?) tried to right. Guilt is so powerful because trying to dispel it requires something humans aren’t built to do: letting go. Love doesn’t take that. Sure, “if you love someone, let them go,” but you don’t have to lose love to let someone go. You can let someone go because you love them and still love them. But guilt? You have no choice but to let go, or it’ll eat you alive. You have to release, you have to let memories die, you have to do the one thing we’re taught to avoid and forget. Cobb has to leave Mal behind. He has to accept that he will forget her face, has to learn to live with the loss. The bravest thing we can do is stand strong in the face of time.
Cobb is a man out of time. He is constantly fighting against the clock, racing through the stages of his life over and over again. He has to change those memories, and yet he can’t. He traps himself in a paradox. You can’t beat time. You can’t go back, you can’t push far forward. Cobb has to accept that no matter how hard he tries, Mal is gone. How do you accept that? I sure as hell don’t know. I haven’t faced any major life deaths yet, but I’ve lost things. Lost people in ways other than death. Lost pieces of them. I still can’t accept it. I still remember them on their birthdays, still look for my dead cats on the windowsill, still think fondly of the past and long for it. Just like Cobb, I sometimes wish I could hop in an elevator and go back. Just to watch. To watch those memories, good and bad, and take them in with the knowledge I know now. Just to hold on to them a little longer. But we can’t. I can’t. I try to learn that with every rewatch. Maybe one day, it’ll take.
On a lighter, less outlandish and pretentiously philosophical note, I want to pivot and talk about Arthur a little. My beloved Arthur. I think Eames tends to be the fan favorite, and I definitely understand that. He’s funny, witty, and he’s Tom Hardy. There’s not much you can fault him for. But I don’t care, Arthur will always be my favorite. He’s more complex than he gets credit for. On the surface, he’s this no-nonsense, intelligent point man with a massive ego and a one-track mind. But I think there’s more to him. There’s a moment I always reflect on in this movie, and it’s when Arthur reveals to Ariadne that Mal has died. He gets so…quiet. So gentle. He almost struggles to get the words out. “She was lovely.” That haunts me. He becomes almost childlike. He’s spent the entire movie to this point being the “suave, smart teacher” dude. But this moment humanizes him. It shows us that he’s got a past, that Mal meant something to him, that he acts the way he does not because it’s who he is but because it’s who he has to be.
Arthur’s relationship with Cobb is another thing I get stuck on. I know that Arthur x Cobb is a ship but wow I do not see that at all. In fact, on this rewatch, I noticed a lot of animosity between them that I haven’t before. Cobb not wanting to tell Arthur the truth about Mal, Cobb telling Arthur blatantly “it’s every man for himself,” Cobb treating Arthur almost like he’s disposable. I’ve always seen it in my head that Arthur and Cobb have a long history of working together. I’ve even at times seen them as close friends. But who calls their close friend by his last name? It’s not a nickname, because Mal calls him Dom. It’s a professional courtesy. On this watch, I think I saw Arthur as stuck in some odd, mentor-mentee relationship with Cobb. Cobb taught him this world, maybe even introduced him to it, but won’t get any closer. He has to keep Arthur away to some capacity. I haven’t written them this way in most of my fics, mostly because I prefer the idea that this team could all be some big happy family. But in reality, I think Arthur’s constantly pulling at straws trying to figure Cobb out, but can never quite do it. I also like to pretend that Arthur and Mal were close before she died, but how he treats seeing her puts doubt on that. In the first dream sequence, he harshly says something like, “Why is she here?” If they had been close, I don’t know if he’d react that way. Maybe he was just in “job mode” and had to turn off his emotions. Or something like that. I’m rambling, I know I am, I should move on.
The conversation about this movie always goes back to that top. But I don’t really want to discuss that more than I already have. I believe it fell, but I understand why it’s more complicated than that. Either way, this movie is a happy ending. Cobb gets his family back. He’s able to believe in them. That’s what matters. I think a lot about this movie, particularly the little details that in all honesty don’t matter to anyone besides a desperate writer trying to make sense of how to create stories in this world. Luckily, the fic I’ve been writing is an AU, so I’ve been able to avoid a lot of the complications of the movie reality. But half of my notes today were me once again trying to figure out the idiosyncrasies of this world. Straight up, some of it just doesn’t make sense. But like I’ve always concluded, that doesn’t really matter to me. This world is magical and odd and full of an originality I don’t know we’ll ever see again on the big screen. A least, not for a long time. There’s just something special about Inception. It always calls to me like some sort of siren. I’m so attached to this world. The characters feel like friends to me. I’ve spent so long in their heads that I feel like they’ve become a part of me. I know that sounds crazy, and it is. I think I had more to say, but I’m starting to get delirious. All in all…fuck, I love this movie. More than anything. Arthur and Eames should’ve fucked at the end.
I’m kidding! (I’m not kidding)
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windsoflife · 11 days ago
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"The wind of life that blows within me.."
I am Wind Archer Cookie, guardian of the wind. I wish to make an impression on others around me, as well as share lived experiences.
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I am a Wind Archer Cookie flickerkin, meaning my kinning of him is based exclusively on my hyperfixation. This means this blog will likely go inactive after some time. I am also flickering as a bird, specifically a dove. I am 14 years of age. NSFW blogs please do not interact with me. I am also an age regressor, so please do not interact if you fetishize or sexualize regression. I am autistic and have ADHD. My previous blog was @sockwachowski. Others from my source may interact, but I do already have a Fire Spirit Cookie. He is my soulmate. I will refer to him as simply "Fire Spirit Cookie". I enjoy speaking with punctuation. I somewhat have 'memories' of Red Panna Cotta Cookie and Blue Slushy Cookie, of which I have familial relations with, and Millennial Tree Cookie, of which is my father figure.
DNI
basic DNI criteria
proshippers
millennialwind shippers (millennial tree is a father figure to me.)
believe blue slushy cookie to be an adult (& ship her accordingly)
TAG GUIDE 🕊️
- the wind blows: posts that i relate to or make me feel more connected to my kin. can include rbs.
- whispers of the wind: original text posts of mine. does not include rbs.
- wind's breeze: my original content. does not include rbs.
- seeds of life: my favorite posts. includes rbs.
- deadly hurricane: vents or personal rants. does not include rbs.
- my home: kin stuff, such as posts about being a kin. includes rbs.
- crayon drawn flowers: age regression content. includes rbs.
- rb: all rbs
- windy doodles: my art and drawings. does not include rbs.
- the light of the flame: if fire spirit cookie is in the post, then it will be tagged as this. includes rbs.
- loud chirps: announcements or important information.
- from other blog: rbs from other blogs of mine.
- answers: responses to asks. does not include rbs
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"We all live for some spicy drama, amirite?"
soooooo SOMEBODY thinks he can have a blog but the ORIGINAL doesn't get to have one??? A tragedy, a travesty that I do not get to grace the confines of Tumblr Dot Com!!! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS; YOU SHALL WAIT NO LONGER!!!!!
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Finally, the TRUE star of the show has arrived!!!! The world's finest playwright, poet, director, actor AND clown has FINALLY found himself on this sorry platform!! but let it be known that I WAS THE FIRST!!!!!!!!!! as opposed to archie here, I have existed FAR longer! I have been here since the Burning Spice update, and got NO RECOGNITION! NO RESPECT!!!!!! and then SUDDENLY we get greenski and i am REPLACED!!!!! I AM NO LONGER THE COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!! we even bought cosplays of him, and what did I get??? LEVEL 90?????? ONE OF MY TWO EPIC ATTACK TOPPING TARTS??????????? I GOT NOTHING!!!!!!!! i am FULLY deserving of a spot on this blog. ÙmÚ i am a shadow milk cookie flickerkin as well, who has recently begun to reappear in my stupid mind, along with greeny here! i must thank him for allowing my return, though, since who KNOWS how long id have been dormant otherwise!! you may also call me shamil i dont really care. i will come off as a roleplayer, but i must, unfortunately, be truthful when i say i am not. oh yeah also our boyfriend is eclair to me
TAG GUIDE 🎭
- master of deceit: ALL of my posts!! the best parts of the blog live here. :3
- script of the play: posts i relate to or make me feel more like ME!!! includes rbs
- all by me: my original content!! no rbs
- approval of the jester: my favorite posts!! a high privilege. includes rbs
- curse you: vents or personal rants (this will never be used, don't bother checking it). no rbs
- the king of lies is this: kin stuff, stuff about being me. includes rbs
- little liar: age regression content (this will also never be used.) includes rbs
- rbs: all rbs
- cardboard cutouts: MY BEAUTIFUL ART!!!!! does not include rbs
- his relics: eclair cookie tag, includes rbs
- listen carefully: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS FROM THE KING!!!
- full truths: responses to asks, doesn't include rbs
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...I now feel it is important to mention that we are not a system. I do not wish to encroach upon their territory, or fake being one of them. Currently, I do not have a term for what is happening in my mind, but it does seem to be system-adjacent and caused by maladaptive daydreaming. I will not call it a system because I do not experience dissociation caused by it or memory loss. I am fully aware that I am one person, I do not feel like multiple, nor am I convinced I am a different person; I just like to pretend I'm a different person every now and then.
divider creds: sisterlucifergraphics, historynights, agar--agar
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spirintom · 1 year ago
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Herobrine headcanons 💎
sorry I wasn't posting for a pretty long time... needed to get over my hyperfixation on this guy
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💎"He has changed"💎 Enjoy!
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He has existed for a long time. Too long, to be honest. 
People were afraid of him even before legends and rumors were spread - every visit to the Overworld was accompanied by fear. When he appeared, the sky noticeably darkened, a strong wind blew, and it seemed as if even plants were hiding from his shining cold eyes. The world rejected him, everything living and non-living was afraid, and only Nether felt... like home? maybe... 
But that was a long time ago. Too long, to be honest... 
Now the world seems to be getting used to the man. Peaceful creatures curl up to his warm hands, ask him for food, play with him, look as if they understand him. 
And he developed a bad habit - to carry seeds, a couple bunches of wheat, and other treats for them... Perhaps that's why they follow him that much. But the mobs love him, and that pleases him. 
Herobrine himself seems somehow softer. 
Although villagers still fear even think of his name. And this is completely fair. Earlier he used to be excessively hot-headed. He ravaged cities, killed players who dared to look at him. 
So his name became a noun. Now all the world's troubles are attributed to him, not forgetting to recall the old ones. 
Not that he was mad about it. That's absolutely fair. 
But Herobrine has changed. 
Now combat achievements and strength hardly concern him. Of course, the man can still destroy a pretty large village with a slight move of his hand, but... is that really necessary? (And was it necessary at all?) 
Herobrine has changed. 
Now he prefers to enjoy the world: wandering at night or in the early morning, sipping coffee, watching some players, reading, studying redstone mechanisms, perfecting his enchanting or potion-making skills, spending more time with old friends. 
Sometimes in snowy biomes, near villages, he builds snowmen. (Of course, to puzzle and scare village children! Yes-yes. We believe him.) If he finds a spot with flowers, he picks some and leaves them outside random player's house. 
And sometimes (very rarely) he submits to curiosity and goes to some abandoned player’s base and explores it. Herobrine admires, looking at cities, castles, statues, and other structures that, according to him, used to destroy the nature of the world. 
He is especially pleased with one specific base. A small temple on a hill surrounded by cherry trees. There in the mountain, behind thick tangles of vines, lies the entrance to a cave with hot springs and a small pool of lava. The man loves to come there to relax. (how lucky that he’s immune to lava!) 
In these peaceful moments, he catches himself thinking that he understands Notch - understands that creating can also bring joy. The man, of course, grumbles something under his nose, but smiles. 
 Sincerely. Softly.
---------------------------------- 🩵Hope you liked it! Also sorry if there were some mistakes (i'm using a translator)
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