#sorry if anyone is getting this twice cuz tumblr broke

[wishitweresummer]

i was tagged by @snfbabydrop <333 tysm

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Now What Do We Use

Tickle-Tac-Toe

Silly

Spooky Vibes

Nerf

Teasing George

Apparently I actually have about 13 wips and wow

I need to get some writing done ahaha

Here's some no pressure tags <33

@mushiewrites @awkwardtickleetoo @littledangerouspie @fluffallamaful @aninklingof

[transgenderboobs]

bunch o’ tag games under the cut

tagged by @dykeangel​ !! ty emilie 

what was your last…

drink - jus woter 

phone call - my phone company

text message - dad

song you listened to - the fall by half alive

time you cried - last night watching jojo rabbit 

have you ever…

dated someone twice - kind of?

been cheated on - not to my knowledge 

lost someone special - yes? i mean not like they died but people have like. left my life u know

been depressed - lmao

gotten drunk and thrown up - Yes. :|

in this year, have you…

made a new friend - Yes ! 

fallen out of love - no

laughed until you cried - Yes. do this a lot in the horny for worms chat

met someone who changed you - u mean like in these 3 months of 2020? no

found out who your true friends are - idk??? i mean i like to think i KNOW already

kissed someone on your facebook list - lol no

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life - like.....most of them.

do you have any pets - yes!!!!!! i have two cats and two dogs

do you want to change your name - yes. i just have to find one that feels right and then go about making the Effort to actually change it

what did you do for your last birthday - i just like. went out for dinner and ice cream

what time did you wake up - like. noon

what were you doing at midnight last night - watching jojo rabbit!!!!!!!

what’s something you can’t wait for - this pandemic to end so i can finally go the fuck to germany

when was the last time you saw your mum - new years eve

what are you listening to right now - nuffink babe

have ever met a person named tom - don’t think so

what’s something that gets on your nerves - my school’s admin giving me Useless info about this pandemic sitch re: my thesis/graduation

what’s your blood type - absolutely no clue. i asked my parents and they don’t know either. it’s a mystery

nickname - prem is a nickname

relationship status - obviously i’m married to daisy tonner sorry ladies ;)

zodiac sign - aquarius

pronouns - they/them

fav tv show - the good place!!!!!!!!!

tattoos - many. got some pics of a few of them in my tattoo tag

right or left handed - right

first…

surgery - none. well i had to be put under anesthesia  once so they could do some weird shit to my teeth cuz i had this nasty infection but idk if that counts

piercing - ears babey

best friend - her name was kalea we stopped talking when i was like 6 or 7 and she recently added me on fb again

sport - LOLLLLLL ME PLAYING A SPORT???? LMAO I HAVE TO LAUGHHHHHHHH

vacation - hmmmm i think going to texas to see my dads family just before my parents got divorced 

pair of trainers - what the fuck are trainers

right now…

eating - nothing

drinking - nothing? water?

i’m about to - get up and make some coffee

listening to - nothing

waiting for - nothing

want kids - NO NEVER

get married - yes bitch !

career - i just want to lie on a hot rock under the sun for several hours of the day 

which is better…

hugs or kisses - both

lips or eyes - eyes

shorter or taller - either would be excellent 

older or younger - don’t care as long as they’re close enough to my age 

romantic or spontaneous - romantic

nice arms or nice stomach - no preference

sensitive or loud - either. both

hook up or relationship - relationship

trouble maker or hesitant - trouble maker

have you ever…

kissed a stranger - i wanna say no but i was a god damn lunatic in high school so it’s possible 

drank hard liquor - Yes a lot

sex on the first date - never been on a date. but i have had s*x with someone after only knowing them for like 5 hours day so

broke someone’s heart - I THINK I DID BUT I DIDNT NOTICE TILL LIKE TWO YEARS LATER

had your heart broken - yes.

been arrested - yes.

cried when someone died - never really known anyone who died besides relatives i’d met maybe once in my life at max, so. n/a

fallen for a friend - i only wanna smash my bros bro

do you believe in…

yourself - eeehhhhhh

miracles - eeeEEEHHHHH

love at first sight - no.

santa claus - no

kiss on the first date - sure !

angels - no

-

tagged by @paintedvanilla​ !!! thank

instructions: tag 10 followers that you wanna get to know sorry

name: just prem

nicknames: prem is a nickname :3c

gender: oh no thank you i’m ok

star sign: aquarius

height: 5’9″ (OR exactly 69 inches or 175 cm)

sexuality: dyke

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

fave animal: i like owls and cats

average hours of sleep: god. who knows. not enough

current time: 12:30pm lads

dog or cat person: i mean i love them both but i think i’m a cat person

blankets you sleep with: just my comforter 

dream trip: @ MY SCHOOL JUST LET ME DO MY STUDY ABROAD TRIP TO GERMANY........

dream job: see above

when I made my blog: january 2014

followers: 3798

why i made a tumblr: god who remembers why i did anything in 2014. a bitch was still in high school in 20fucking14

reason for my url: no god damn genders allowed in this fucking house hold thank u Very much

-

rules: hit shuffle and list the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people

tagged by @d-quintana​ and @the1975bi​ !!! ilu guys 

ghost - halsey

firefly - breaking benjamin

monster - paramore

i write sins not tragedies - p!atd

broken open - cold war kids

brick by boring brick - paarmore

wild heart - bleachers 

this is gospel - p!atd

don’t stop - innerpartysystem

cliff’s edge - hayley kiyoko

the love club - lorde

anyone else but you - moldy peaches

curse - imagine dragons

west coast - coconut records 

lemon to a knife fight - the wombats

would that i - hozier

killer - the ready set

headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet - fob

snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers - fob

bad side of 25 - patrick stump

[spegetty]

85 question tag or whatever

Rules: Answer and tag 20 people

@highlady-of-slytherin thansk this took me forever lol

— What was your last…

1. Drink: coffee

2. Phone call: my aunt apperently

3. Text message: my aunt again LOL

4. Song you listened to?: raf idk who it’s by

5. Time you cried: i’m pretty sure it was like two nights ago because i push back my emotions way too oft en

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: my friend kenny

10. Been depressed: well not depressed but sad in a way

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: dkm but i’ve been drunk.....never threw up tho #GoLz

— Fave colours

12 green

13 green

14 blue? idek i like green

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yea

16. Fallen out of love: i guess?? with like things not really ppl tho because i hate everyone

17. Laughed until you cried: no?? welp mu friend right beside me says i havé but i don’t remember so ... ????????

18. Found out someone was talking about you: lmao yea but i don’t care enough to confront them

19. Met someone who changed you: idk prpjably

20. Found out who your friends are: only two but they don’t live near me i hate my school. fuck this.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: i don’t even have facebook nor kissed anyone

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: don’t have fb

23. Do you have any pets: does my anxiety count?

24. Do you want to change your name: kinda

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i ate pasta.

26. What time did you wake up today: 7am. fuck school.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was reading?

28. What is something you can’t wait for: graduation. 2020 here i come

30. What are you listening to right now: byegone by volcano choir

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: lol yea there’s a tradition on my dads side where the oldest sons name is thomas/tom so...........

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: people my age, when teachers can’t fuckin mark right, teachers not updating my marks, teachers who can’t teach, school in general

33. Most visited website: Tumblr and probably some computer science website

34. Hair colour: brown w white/grey hairs cuz i’m stressed. help me.

35. Long or short hair: Long and im cutting it. i’m so fucking done w it

36. Do you have a crush on someone: yea one guy at school and like 72737373 fictional characters thansk

37. What do you like about yourself: my nose and that’s it i have no redeeming qualities and i’m a stupid shit.

38. Want any piercings: i needa repierce some so yea .. i’m first world broke so

39. Blood type: no clue

40. Nicknames: spegetty, lo lo, loraaan, lasagna, getty, lauryngitis, soo soo,

41. Relationship status: single and ready to drop out of school

42. Sign: Aquarius

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: troll hunters, vld i guess idk, shadowhunters, other cartoons i cbf to list

45. Tattoos: i wish

46. Right or left handed: right because im mainstream

47: Ever had surgery: no

48. Piercings: yes

49. Sport: i used to to competitive dance and track but i quit both

50. Vacation: hawaii, japan, france, scotland yea

51. Trainers: like my spikes??? vans?? runners? what?

— More general

52. Eating: rn nothing

53. Drinking: nothing but i need water im dehydrated

54. I’m about to watch: shadow hunters s3

55. Waiting for: spring break lol

56. Want: to be smart :(

57. Get married: well not right now

58. Career: this question can rot >:(

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: neither

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: Taller

62. Older or younger: what?

63. Nice arms or stomach: i don’t care

64. Hookup or relationships: guys im 16 and hardly even touched a male

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: jfc idk someone who can have fun but not be a pussy all the time

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: no

67. Drank hard liquor: yes

68.Turned someone down: yes

69. Sex on first date: lol maube (when i’m older obvi) edit: this is why you proof read because i didn’t understand the question. no i have never.

70: Broken someone’s heart: i don’t know???

71. Had your heart broken: yea

72. Been arrested: no(t yet)

73. Cried when someone died: Yes

74. Fallen for a friend: idkcprobably i don’t remmeber

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: no

76. Miracles: no

77. Love at first sight: no

78. Santa Claus: no

79. Angels: idk

— Misc

80. Eye colour: Brown

81. Best friends name: nanaki!! and jaclyn

82. Favourite movie: idk

83. Favourite actor: zenday??? idk??

84. Favourite cartoon: shut up i have too many

85. Favourite teacher’s name: i hated most my teachers but my fav last sem was mr mackinnon so

this took me forever and my friend (nanaki) laughed at me the whole time for all my spelling errors and how cold i answer everything. sorry.

tagging: @wingsofanillyrian @bookstvseriesandanimes @rosycheekwriter @respondwithsarcasm and anyone else i guess i gave up a lot lol

[afigureofspeech]

You were never in any danger: a Kastle rec post

Hey y’all. If you follow me already, you may not have realized that I’ve gained some fandoms recently since I’ve been too busy to do something as time-consuming as reblogging all the stuff I scroll past but yeah, I’ve currently got two other rec posts sitting patiently in my drafts, just waiting for me not to be destroyed by grad school. As you all may know though, The Punisher comes out today, so I really just couldn’t help myself.

I didn’t expect to be here. I get the sense that most people on this ship didn’t either? Cool, we’re all in this together. I haven’t even been here that long; I happened to see someone freaking out on my dash a few weeks ago about that part in the trailer where they’re on the floor and Frank touches Karen’s hair – you know the one – and, well, somehow I wound up rewatching all the Kastle scenes over and over and over… I was even planning on waiting until next week to binge the whole season, when I’m on break and recovering from minor surgery and all, but I’m way too hyped to wait so I’ll probably get to it this weekend instead.

In any case, this isn’t a full rec post cuz the series dropped and I just wanted to get it out. Please forgive the general messy and incompleteness, I’ll do an update later when I have the time. Now a full rec post! Tried to fit in as much as I could think of. Also, if anyone out there has some fics (or anything else) you want to rec, please do! Like I said I am new here and I haven’t had the chance to go through the whole AO3 tag (yet lol).

My other rec posts can be found here.

Hope you enjoy~

* = new

Update 12/19/17: So apparently there is a limit on how many links I can have in a post. In the interest of being able to add more fic, I have removed the extra sections for fanart, fanvids, etc. If you go to some of the kastle blogs I link to at the bottom though I am sure you can find plenty. Sorry about that!

→ FANFIC

alamorn

AKA Under Investigation AO3 Their first meeting after she told him he was dead to her doesn’t go exactly how he thought it would.

glove upon hand AO3 Frank Castle, metaphorically standing in his half dug grave, takes a literal hand to get out.  [Post-Punisher s1]

trouble in mind AO3 Frank didn’t like to ask for things. That wasn’t a surprise — she knew that about him before she knew almost anything else. That Frank Castle, he’s a monster, he’s a machine, he doesn’t know how to ask for help. It’s lucky for him that Karen has never waited to be asked. [Warning: explicit sexual content, femdom, pegging]

alchemistc 

after AO3 | Tumblr He presses his lips into her hair and breathes deep, chest expanding against her side, arm curled around her, and Karen thinks - Do we deserve this? [Punisher speculation]

can’t no preacher man AO3 | Tumblr She breathes a sigh of relief when she catches sight of the shape of her late night visitor, and then stifles a snort at herself. Only Karen Page would find the sight of Frank Castle relieving.  [Part 2 of the devil’s backbone series] 

hangman’s knot and three mouths to feed AO3 | Tumblr “Was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d drop in. ”She kinda wants to punch him in his stupid face, but she knows it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t even land, unless he wanted it to. Besides, it’s not like she could make the bruises littering his skin any worse than they already are. Frank Castle, Walking Bruise. Somehow, it just doesn’t have the same ring to it as The Punisher. [Part 1 of the devil’s backbone series]

walk together with our hands up in the sky AO3 | Tumblr Frank and Karen in the aftermath.  [Post-Punisher s1]

you bear the scars AO3 | Tumblr “Men.” “Tell me about it,” Trish says, her voice somehow managing to convey both too-chipper energy and exasperation of the highest level. “I don’t know how much I can, actually.” Trish grins, tipping the plastic bottle in Karen’s direction. “The Punisher has taken you on as a pet project, you spend your days building up more enemies than even Jessica can manage on a bad day, and you’re totally attracted to a vigilante who prowls the streets at night killing people. Does that pretty much cover it?” “How did you - I am not - there is nothing going on between me and Frank!” [Part 3 of the devil’s backbone series] 

angel_deux

AKA Puzzle Pieces AO3 Jessica Jones is not an easy friend to have. And Karen’s not even really sure if she can call her a friend. But Jessica is a good person to have in your corner in a crisis, which is good, because one of Frank’s enemies makes a sudden reappearance.  [Part 2 of The Sinner and the Saint series] 

Between the Sinners and the Saints AO3 A new villain with killer aim nearly takes Frank out, and he makes the call to go to Karen for help. Karen, who hasn’t seen him in months, who has been wishing she could take back those words she said to him in the woods. She never thought she’d get the chance to repair what they both broke that night, so once he’s back in her life, she’s not going to let him disappear again so easily.  [Part 1 of The Sinner and the Saint series]

Tough Girl is What I Had to Be AO3 Lisa Castle survives the incident in Central Park, and Karen Page wants to take care of her. Set in an AU where Lisa survived but Frank had no knowledge of it until after the events of Season 2.  [Lisa lives AU; you didn’t know you wanted this but I’m here to tell you that you absolutely do]

carrythesky 

i started all the wars AO3 | Tumblr  (Turns out fighting’s easy, once you start. The problem is that he’s never learned how to stop.)  [Punisher speculation, all the angst]

It’s still heavy Tumblr  [Karen Page grows up pretending. She escapes to the broom closet downstairs, curls into the dark space and when she closes her eyes she’s an astronaut, a deep-sea explorer, a knight scaling tall towers to rescue damsels in distress.]

things you said in the dark Tumblr  [Sometimes, late at night when her eyes itch with exhaustion and the words on her screen become a jumbled blur, sometimes, she thinks of home. The most recent memories are transparent as glass but her childhood is a series of fragments, fuzzy at the edges - rain on the breeze, gingersnap crumbs, Kevin laughing over his shoulder and running ahead, always just ahead - And this, plucked from the haze: Penelope Page hunched over the kitchen table in the middle of the night, crying.]

untitled Tumblr  [q: what scares you? a: you have your good arm around her torso, barrel shoved up under her chin and the magazine is an arm’s length away but you’re still careful, careful. she is steel beneath you and that’s when it hits, that’s when you picture your twitchy finger slipping and a bullet going straight through her skull, in and out before you can blink. the elevator door slides shut and you can’t pull away fast enough. (you are the most dangerous thing her hands have touched.)] [How to pack a punch in 500 words or less holy sHIT]

edourado 

Bodies make it perfect AO3 | Tumblr Drunk Karen is a test to Frank's will power  [Companion piece/sequel to Second Night; warning: explicit sexual content]

Boss AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: "I need you to scream for me. You're Karen Page he's the Punisher, he will come for you." in which Karen hurt and taken by a villain and Frank is enraged."  [Established relationship; warning: explicit sexual content]

But you’re the truth AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: Frank patches Karen up after she's hurt because of a job and goes after the people who harmed her. Romantic-ish Special appearence: Max, the Pitbull [Companion piece/prequel to For I can’t help falling]

For I can’t help falling AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: After Frank leaves his hesitation aside, he gets skin hungy   [Companion piece/sequel to But you’re the truth] 

Have you seen my best friend? AO3 | Tumblr Karen finds a dinosaur toy in the subway.  [Everybody lives AU, feat. an adorable Lisa; warning: explicit sexual content]

Hungry AO3 | Tumblr She fought it. With everything she had, she fought it. Karen can only fight for so long.  [Companion piece/sequel to Never Had; warning: explicit sexual content]

Karen AO3 | Tumblr Prompt: someone hurts Karen and Frank hunts them down. As he is at it, he realizes his feelings for her  [Warning: off-screen attempted rape]

Never Had AO3 | Tumblr How can you mourn the loss of something - someone - that was never truly yours?  [Angsty Matt POV, one-sided Karedevil; companion piece/prequel to Hungry]

Not Pete AO3 | Tumblr * She doesn't like the new name  [Post-Punisher s1; warning: sexual content]

Ordinary People AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Deleted Scenes) Prompt: Best friends who are the Old Married Couple but fail to notice they're falling in love until is too late.  [AU]

Pour AO3 | Tumblr * She pulled his boots off him before they finished the first glass. They now sat under the couch, forgotten.  [Warning: sexual content]

Second Night AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr prompt: Frank shows up drunk at Karen's door, and she's on edge, because she has dated a few unpleasant-when-drunk men.  [Companion piece/prequel to Bodies make it perfect]

What do you want AO3 | Tumblr Tumblr promt: Karen accidentaly discovers Frank has a hair pulling kink. She sees an opportunity, she seizes it.  [Established relationship; warning: explicit sexual content]

Ejunkiet 

dilaudid AO3 This isn’t the first time Frank has shown up on her doorstep in the early hours of the morning, but this is the first time that he’d been extended an invitation. 

feel it still AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) w/ evil bunny wolf (evil_bunny_king)  Karen’s legs are unsteady as she makes her way to the bathroom to knock on the door, fingers curling against the wood as she hears the water stop, before Frank’s voice croaks through the door. “What is it?” She has to swallow twice before she can get the words out. “Someone knows you’re here.” [Post-Defenders; WIP]

(in our bedroom) after the war AO3 When Karen had received the invitation from WNEX station to speak on Trish Talk, the most popular radio talk show in the city, her first instinct had been to say no. – “With all due respect ma’am, that’s bullshit. Most people, see, wouldn’t be so easy to let the other things” – murder and brutality, bodies littering the floor of the diner and blood on her hands and face – "go. They don’t seek to understand them. They get one good look, and get the hell away.”

meet me in the woods AO3 * Frank doesn’t wait for them to break the lock – he kicks the door open and slams into the first body he makes contact with behind it, lashing out in a blur of kicks and punches. The intruder falls back, face bloody, and then Frank’s gone, and Karen is left alone, crouched beneath her bed like a five year old hiding from the monsters in her closet, except that she’s no longer a child, and now she has a gun. -- Frank turns up on her doorstep on a Tuesday night and stays until Friday. [Part 1 of the corvidae & whiskey series]

elizma_c*

Flight from the City AO3 | Tumblr What are you doing, Karen? she thinks. He might not even be here. Would he even want to see her? What if – The door beside her suddenly swings open. Of course he senses her right away, even as she’s sort of hidden behind the door. He actually puts a hand to his lower back, and she realizes he’s carrying. Of course. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbles, but there’s surprise in his tone. “Karen.” Even with the questionably overloaded vital signs her body is displaying, she gets the sickest sense of pleasure that she’s gotten the jump on Frank Castle.

What You Know AO3 | Tumblr “When reality feels like its slipping away, hold on to those things that you know are true. You have to focus on what you know.” What did Karen know? Karen knows that she likes to read on the subway. She likes wearing heels that click on the sidewalk. Karen hates exercising but is apparently not a fan of therapy, so she goes running on Saturday mornings. She keeps a .380 in her purse and a pot of dying roses in her window. She has a track record for falling in love with the wrong people. She is fine. She repeats the list in her head each morning when she wakes up, until her hands stop shaking and the knots in her stomach go away.

evil bunny wolf (evil_bunny_king) / devilbunnyking

author our own disasters AO3 | Tumblr Frank Castle’s flesh is a litany to disaster. – Karen and Frank meet again for the first time since that final showdown on the rooftop. It doesn’t go as planned. [Part 2 of the you make me feel so criminal series] 

feel it still AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) w/ Ejunkiet  Karen’s legs are unsteady as she makes her way to the bathroom to knock on the door, fingers curling against the wood as she hears the water stop, before Frank’s voice croaks through the door. "What is it?” She has to swallow twice before she can get the words out. “Someone knows you’re here.” [Post-Defenders; WIP]

Graves AO3 Frank Castle - had cared. He’d broken himself caring; he’d loved with a heart she’d only glimpsed beneath his darkness, broken and bleeding as it was. She refused to believe that that man could be gone. [Part 1 of the you make me feel so criminal series]

Pacific Swells AO3 | Tumblr It’s not morbid curiosity. She’d be easier to scare away, if it were – he could play the part, flog away another shred of his humanity to dangle before her and ask ‘is this what you wanted? This what you wanted to see?’  [WIP; part 3 of the you make me feel so criminal series]

Perihelion AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1) “I’ve had, I’ve had a hell of a week, but that, I think, might’ve been part of the worst of it.” She clears her throat, and then again, drawing her knees in. Her eyes shine a little in the lamplight. “Yeah. I was scared too. For you.” -- Frank visits Karen, after. [Post-Punisher s1]

Touch AO3 | Tumblr  “Why are you here?” he settles on, instead. Her hand moves to the marks on his neck, thumb grazing his adam’s apple. “Because I made a choice. And now I’m making another.” [Part 4 of the you make me feel so criminal series] 

The Twist AO3 | Tumblr Frank finds Karen trussed up in the back of a van in Queens.  [Kidnapping, protective!Frank]

glycerineclown* 

glutton for punishment AO3 | Tumblr If she wants it, it's not a punishment.  [Warning: explicit sexual content] 

Operation Spot AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) A stocky grey pit bull peeks out from the mouth of the first alley that Karen passes. It's Frank, but she doesn't know it yet. [Shapeshifter AU]

Ordinary Citizens AO3 | Tumblr Rawlins’ fist had really done a number on Frank, and he has to get some teeth pulled a few days later. Karen takes him home, after, for rest and mothering. He stays longer than he has to—long enough to figure a few things out.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

idekman / hipsterfrankcastle

around the world my body will roam (my soul’s in new york) AO3 | Tumblr She gets two blankets, one for each of them, and sits out there with him until the sun rises. Frank moves into Karen’s apartment. She dreams. [Punisher speculation]

my girl is tall with hard long eyes AO3 | Tumblr  He returns the book the next day. She’s asleep, curled up on her sofa, the window shut. She looks so small like this, fragile and vulnerable and not at all like the electric force of nature she is in waking. 

this is all I ever was AO3 | Tumblr  'I always thought you liked tulips.' Karen takes the pot of roses from him, places it gingerly back on the windowsill. He listens to her fiddle with it, twist it this way and that – finding the best spot for it in the sun, he realises. 'Maybe. Before.' - prompt: kastle through matt's eyes  [Post-Punisher s1]

jazzonia 

come upstairs but not to talk AO3 Frank comes to her straight from the firefight.  [Warning: explicit sexual content; part 1 of the we’re always alright series]

don’t care about your intentions AO3 Karen’s world is upended when Matt reveals his identity to her. Frank helps her right it again.  [Warning: explicit sexual content; part 2 of the we’re always alright series]

LaMorenaReina 

Ascendancy AO3  Karen Page's relationship with control becomes all the more tenuous as she explores a singular and inconclusive friendship with Frank Castle, wages her own war against Wilson Fisk, and has to start answering some unwanted questions about her past that lead to new conclusions about her identity. 

Re-Entry AO3 Frank shows up again and causes trouble because he’s Frank. Karen goes along with it because, well, she’s Karen. They have adult conversations because, honestly, they should.  [Punisher speculation]  

PurpleLex / shipsabound

bloodsport AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) two-part tumblr prompt: "A baddie is threatening/hurting Karen in front of a tied up Frank. And he’s raging?” [Protective!Frank, h/c; warning: mature content, description of torture/violence]

during the dark and storming nights AO3 | Tumblr Frank POV retelling of “the space between dreams and reality”  The concrete columns echo again with the second gunshot and he stands there for a minute on shaky feet, disgust and satisfaction twisting and warring against each other within his gut. The satisfaction doesn’t last long, yanked from him harshly when he climbs back into his truck and hears the radio abuzz over a shooting at the tenement building on 47th. Two women sustain injuries — one Sophia Rossum, and one Karen Page. He forgets to breathe for a long minute. [Part 3 of the Dreams & Lasts series] 

fourteen weeks AO3 | Tumblr tumblr prompt: “something where Frank has a dog and because said dog has pretty much adopted Karen as his second owner, Karen often times takes care of the dog when he’s away/busier than usual. And it doesn’t take long for someone to start putting two and two together about who the dogs main owner is." 

leaving is my last option AO3 | Tumblr Kastle Week Prompt: Lasts Frank rakes his gaze over her entire form, like he’s trying to decipher her. She shifts. He has a way of making her feel like every inch of her soul is being seen, and it’s as much something she longs for as something she’s insecure about. “Sooner or later, you’re going to burn out,” he says, tone flat. “How are you going to take care of yourself then? Defend yourself?” A bitter smile curves her lips. “I could say the same thing about you.” [Part 2 of the Dreams & Lasts series] 

meet me in the woods AO3 | Tumblr tumblr prompt: "I would DIE if you wrote a couple of scenes where Karen army trains with Frank. I could TOTALLY see Frank being like, "You can’t get involved in the extra dangerous stuff unless you at least let me train you.” Imagine them running in the mornings??? Karen getting into crazy shape and the tension between them intensifying???“ 

shine a light through the distance AO3 | Tumblr “You sure about that?” He asks, incredulous, but she doesn’t give an inch. “You help me, you’ll only get blood on your hands.” “I already have blood on my hands.” She almost had his on hers half a year ago by force of a bullet. He put his blood on her hands just a month ago by force of a plea. “Doesn’t mean you need any more,” is all he says before opening the door. [Part 4 of the Dreams & Lasts series] 

the space between dreams and reality AO3 | Tumblr Kastle Week Prompt: Dreams He stands in her apartment, by the door, but it is closed this time, and no bullets are coming through her windows. Her gun is in her hand, though, gripped loose from where it hangs at her side. “Why?” She asks. It’s a whisper of a loaded question. He doesn’t respond, just stares at her, gaze too unreadable. Karen wakes with a frustrated sigh. [Part 1 of the Dreams & Lasts series]

untitled Tumblr  [Can you do a prompt where Micro yells at Karen and Frank gets the in his face. I literally be for protective!Frank 😂💕] [Punisher speculation]

PunkyNemo / thevampirecat

As days go by, the night’s on fire AO3 | Tumblr She’s lost him, she’s found him and she’s lost him again. And now he’s standing on her fire escape, holding out his hand and looking at her like she’s the only thing on Earth worth seeing.  [Canon-divergent AU; part 2 of the Ballads for a dead man series]

Be my saviour and I’ll be your downfall AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1) Once upon a time she derided herself for imagining they were a done deal on a collision course straight to her bedroom. But that’s all over now and he’s gone, hasn’t been back since he walked off her roof and disappeared into the night air. It’s not all bad though. She has friends, she has work and tonight she even has cause to celebrate. It is, after all, her birthday and there’s a chance the universe will be kind. It’s just a chance though. And not a very good one.  [Canon-divergent AU; warning: explicit sexual content; part 3 of the Ballads for a dead man series; WIP]

The bullet you never saw coming AO3 | FFN | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) There are days that he wonders if he’s the worst man on Earth. And then there are the days that he doesn’t need to wonder. But, worst man or not, she’s here, sitting on his couch and crying like the world is ending. And he has no idea how to feel about that. Except he does. He really does. [Canon-divergent AU; warning: explicit sexual content]

Can you wait while the world circles the sun? AO3  It’s hard when you can’t take her out - when you’re The Punisher and the world can’t know she’s your girl. But he can make it up to her, make it right … even if he’s not really sure what it is that he’s wanting.  [Warning: implied sexual content]

Could you crawl out of your perfect skin and climb into mine? AO3 | Tumblr * It's just a hug, so why does it feel like it's so much more?  [Frank POV, The Hug]

Love me back to life AO3 | FFN | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2) He can keep her safe. It’s the one thing he knows how to do, the only thing he can truly give her. So why does it feel like it’s not enough?

You’re a ghost town (and maybe I’m a ghost) AO3 | FFN | Tumblr Safe up in the mountains with Frank following a bloody showdown in Hell’s Kitchen, Karen wonders just how much more complicated things between them can get. She’s about to find out.  [Canon-divergent AU; part 1 of the Ballads for a dead man series; I cry about this series in the best way, it’s long and plotty and UST-y and so so great]

queensofthekastle / StellarRequiem & homesickblues 

For Whom There are No Words AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1) Originally inspired by the prompt “Frank protecting Karen after Fisk finds out she killed Wesley.” A dialogue-driven slow burn exploring their relationship through conversation, spaghetti dates, two incidents involving vodka, and a whole lot of back and forth between who Frank is, and what Frank does.  [Canon-divergent AU; protective!Frank, slow-burn]

Nowhere to Go but Everywhere AO3 * Karen has some emotional recovery to do, Frank is still working on "after," and all along the east-west interstate, someone has been abducting children and wiping all record of the disappearances. ** The roadtrip fic has arrived [Roadtrip AU; fake married, sharing a bed]

untitled Tumblr [based on the new trailer (which shook us to the core tbh)] [Punisher speculation]

untitled Tumblr [Kastle+forced to share a bed (best trope ever)]

untitled Tumblr [kastle prompt fill: “matt and frank having a conversation about karen”] [Canon-divergent AU]

untitled Tumblr [OOOH! What about holding their unconscious body WHILST sobbing into their shoulder/chest ] [Punisher speculation]

samssalvation / jonbernhthal 

one day Tumblr prompt: between the explosion and the elevator 

weak knees AO3 | Tumblr  prompt: karen tripping and falling into frank's arms

SecondFromTheRight 

All We Do Is Hide Away AO3  But when she opened the door to him that night with a “Frank”, her lip trembling as she stared at him – her eyes were already red from crying and she looked tired – he wondered how much that mattered. He knew what Karen Page looked like crying and breathing – or yelling – his name, he knew what she looked like with blood on her, but he didn’t know who Ben Urich was to her. He kind of hated himself for that. And for a man used to self-contempt, this dose noticeably burned.  [Post-Punisher s1]

The Sounds She Makes AO3 * Now, now that he’s had her, had this. Something good and something he feels part of it. Now that he’s remembered life and something he’s terrified could be love - he can go out with Karen on his lips, in his lungs, with her saying his name in his ear. He can go out swaying in this elevator with her, her forehead against his. The elevator scene goes a little differently (they have sex) [Warning: explicit sexual content]

watermelonp00fs 

shooting stars in a jar AO3 * Frank doesn’t visit Karen, after. Not really. But the flowers are there by her window — everyday, for weeks, months — until one day they aren’t. She’s stopped going to the river for a while now, too. Not that he blames her for it. Cut the threads loose, toss the baggage she’s carried all this time into the goddamn ocean — He’s alright with it, all of it. Then, one evening she goes home with a man he’s never laid eyes on, carefree laughs and cheeky smiles — and Frank should be, must be alright with this because God knows she deserves happiness that he cannot interfere with — Except he isn’t.

the world on its axis AO3  Inhale. Exhale. “I’m scared, Karen.” Rough. Guttural. He hated how weak he sounded. “I’m gonna forget her voice.” His shoulders sagged from the weight of his guilt. Frank Castle — the man who took a woman to bed and cried to that woman about his dead wife. What a joke. What a fucking joke. A low hum sounded in the back of Karen’s throat as she stroked the line of his back, gentle and understanding and oh he did not deserve her — “I know,” she murmured and kissed his shoulder. “I know.” Inhale. Exhale. [Part 2 of the like diamonds in the sky series]

Wynn / astreetcarnamedwynn

One Worth Knowing AO3 | FFN | Tumblr The message arrives in an innocuous envelope, a plain white one marked only with her name and the address of The Bulletin, the two scrawled on the front in thick black ink. Karen doesn’t even have to open it to know it’s from him, from Frank, though almost eight months have passed since she last saw him.  [UST; warning: adult content; part 1 of the One Worth series]

One Worth Trusting AO3 | Tumblr  Frank presses the first speed dial and, a couple seconds later, her phone rings in her purse. Karen doesn’t bother asking how he knew her number. She just stares at him instead, caught between irritation at his actions and understanding for the impulse behind them. And if that didn’t sum up her feelings for Frank Castle, the man a murderer but one she understood. The man in question watches her, his brow furrowed but his jaw set, Frank willing to throw down over this, his efforts to keep her safe.Sighing again, Karen points to the kitchenette behind him. “If you’re so willing to do things for me, why don’t you pour me a drink? I’m going to get changed.”His face softens, nearly into a smile. “Yes, ma’am.” A continuation of "One Worth Knowing." Frank accepts Karen's invitation to come by her apartment for a drink. All goes well until it doesn't, until truths are revealed and revelations made. [UST, kisses, & angst; part 2 of the One Worth series]

Yggdra / favrielle

Bluest Skies Of Mourning Light AO3 It’s Karen’s birthday. The Punisher is caught unaware by his own legacy.  [Fluff]

On Hallowed Ground I Stay AO3 He never says "I love you”, but whispers every word of it in all the spaces Karen Page leaves for him in her life.  [Fluff]

Paint Your Demons Red AO3 | Tumblr Frank Castle tries to keep Karen Page at arm’s length and out of danger. (Really, he does.) She has other ideas about what safety means. [Post-Defenders]

She Who Believeth In Me AO3 Her brightness touches everything he lays eyes on. And he can’t shake her no matter how hard he tries. [Part 1 of the all the devils series]

untitled Tumblr  [kastle prompt: after the explosion scene, frank takes karen back to his and micro’s hideout. possibly a shower scene (doesn’t have to be sexual) where frank is comforting karen because she took another life while looking out for frank as they were making their escape.] [Punisher speculation]

untitled Tumblr  [plllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllssssssssssss write a fic where Karen and Frank go back to his hideout to patch each other up after the explosion scenes 😙] [Punisher speculation]

Misc.

Been with the Devil in the Devil’s Resting Place AO3 by Amazing_E_ko  The development of Karen and Frank’s relationship from Matt’s perspective, as his own life goes slowly downhill.  [POV Matt, not exactly kind to him but in a fun, vindictive sort of way if you’re into that lol]

Heaven Sent the Saints Down (Hell Sent Them Up) AO3 | Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) by Ambrosia  But no, yes, the Punisher. In her apartment. Staring at her with an unfazed expression on his face. Even from the doorway, she can see the white skull painted on his chest-piece. And this is somehow so normal for her, at this stage of her life, that she honestly takes one look at Frank, at the bruises on his face, at all his gear spread around her apartment, and says, “Okay. It’s 11:07. I haven’t eaten yet. I’m going to order some dim sum from the corner and you are not going to get any of that gun oil on my bed.”

It is So Quite New a Thing AO3 by an_ardent_rain  He realizes, as he is about to order, that there is one other thing he has besides his grief and his anger and his never-ending war. That there is something that helps him remember, that reminds him who he used to be. He orders a second cup to go and writes “Page” in blocky letters on the side.  [WIP]

don’t fade away AO3 by consultingpathologist* As she unlatches the window to bring the flowers inside, she realizes the yellow is from a piece of paper wedged in between the stems.  [Episode tag]

When you drown, I'll drown AO3 by ebethjanna* His voice is gruff, "Not gonna point a loaded gun at you, Karen." (Two missing moments from 1x10.)

Better Natures AO3 by etirabys “Work with me here, Frank,” Karen snapped. “Make some sense here. Talk to me. We can’t figure out what our next move is until you explain why you’re so disgusted at the thought of my being attracted to you — an attraction which, by the way, I’ve never let interfere with our work or our friendship —“ “I’m not disgusted,” Frank said in a strained, calm voice. “You have ghastly taste, but I’m not disgusted. No. It’s just the feeling of having carried a torch for miles and miles in the dark and… having the sun come up.” [Zombie AU with a side of Fake Married feat. HellaBadass!Karen; warning: explicit sexual content of the dom/sub variety; this fic is everything to me READ IT]

loss like the sharp edges of a knife Tumblr (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5) by fandammit* [The stillness of after is suffocating.] [Frank POV, post-Punisher; one of my current favorite fics]

moth and flame AO3 | Tumblr by freedomatsea  Liquid courage and exhaustion lead Frank to reach out to Karen after months of keeping away from her. Set post-finale about 6-8 months. Frank’s POV.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

The Fall AO3 by ghoulsngunz  “I need a favor.” A favor? Karen crossed her arms over her chest. She had to be dreaming. There was no way that after three months of silence the Punisher would be standing in her kitchen asking for a favor. “What kind of favor?” Frank rubbed his temples. “I need you to help me find my dog.” [WIP]

Elevator Songs AO3 | Tumblr by Inaccessible Rail (strangetales)  A series of drabbles or shorter works that I've posted on Tumblr about my two trauma buds in probable love.  [WIP]

But I Wish It Was True AO3 by Ideal_Flower* The first time it happened, he was hit with white hot shame. But there was no bullet, no gunshot, no shattering of golden hair and spray of brain and blood and guilt on the wall, on the side of his face. Just her mouth on him, his hand on her, his fingers tangled through the cornsilk strands at the nape of her neck.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

United We Purge AO3 | Tumblr by Jenye "Just remember all the good the purge does.” – Evil runs Hell’s Kitchen, but one night out of the year that evil is legal.  [Purge AU]

Come For You AO3 by larkingstock* Pretty much what the tags say. (I'm so sorry. I wanted it, I wrote it, and if I can figure out the rest I'm probably going to write that too.) (Also so so sorry for the title.) [Sex pollen fic; warning: explicit sexual content, WIP; honestly I am enjoying this fic so fucking much]

You Carry My Heart On Your Sleeve AO3 by Morrigan2345  The first thought that comes to mind when her door opens and she’s standing in front of him in what could only be the tightest black dress he’s ever seen is that she looks good. Really good. The second thought is that he shouldn’t have thought that. The third thought is that he couldn’t give less of a shit. [Warning: explicit sexual content]

the root of the root and the bud of the bud AO3 by nagia* There's a new drug in town, a warehouse full of dead shitbags (and newly empty of a strange, tropical-looking flower), and Karen Page has the kind of connections that might help him figure out what this shit is.  [Sex pollen fic; warning: explicit sexual content]

ain’t nothing but a monster AO3 by nighimpossible “Is this okay?” she asks, the question just a murmur in the dark.  “You’re already close enough to hurt me,” Frank says finally, after chewing on the thought for a long moment. “So hurt me.” [Warning: mature content]

hail, holy queen AO3 by peppermintcas  He kisses her and it’s like setting a building on fire: he knows it’s a bad idea, intellectually, but everything in him is pushing him to do it.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

Strays AO3 by Ruby_Wren* Frank finds out what happened to his dog. 

The End of the Line AO3 by ruebellab  They say there’s a ghost - that he’s a dead man, but Miss Karen’s seen enough to know one thing. Dead men don’t feel, they don’t hurt, they don’t care - so if there’s a man out there, she knows he ain’t a ghost, he’s broken maybe but he’s not dead. [Western AU; WIP]

Fall On Your Knees AO3 by saltandbyrne* She keeps the flowers in her window for three days.  [Warning: explicit sexual content]

windowsill AO3 by shuofthewind  Eight weeks, three days. She's going to punch him in his fucking nose. The fic that fixes the lack of Karen at the end of The Punisher. [Post-Punisher s1; UST]

Of Gods and Monsters AO3 | Tumblr by silbecoo Frank is the God of the Underworld, quietly ushering honorable souls to the Elysian Fields while ensuring the evil ones start their time in Tartarus as soon as possible. He doesn’t want or need anyone to care about, until one day the beautiful Daughter of Demeter needs him. He can’t ignore his fate, and neither can she.  [Yup it’s the Hades&Persephone AU you were waiting for; WIP]

A Hard Rain AO3 by smolhombre* When he starts over this time, Frank tries to mean it. An after; for people who don't believe in them. [Warning: explicit sexual content; WIP]

the floodgates need repair AO3 by stainofmylove* Karen struggles to put the pieces back together again. Post “I’m already dead,” basically. 

moving on AO3 by thecoolestfreak* “I’m going to break the truth over Fisk’s head, sure. But I need the backup to do it. Capable parties.” She said it as she’d rehearsed it in her head, and she winced at how unsympathetic it sounded out loud. “Y’need canon fodder, that it?” he said, and she almost spit out the wine she’d nervously poured in her mouth. “God, no! Frank, that’s not— I’m—" He laughed, a small chuckle, but a laugh, and if he were here she would punch him in the arm.“I’ll do it, Karen. Where and when do you need me?” post the punisher s1 & the defenders s1 - the gang fights fisk, but its basically a kastle fic

elevator AO3 by thefudge 1x10. The elevator scene, but with a much needed addition. 

but shrapnel is shrapnel AO3 by theworthofhollin  It starts like this: Karen gets a dog.  [WIP]

to arm your fears like soldiers and slay them AO3 | FFN | Tumblr by viansian  Karen had gotten over the whole “soulmates” hype when she was thirteen years old, and she didn’t plan on getting swept up in that shitstorm again anytime soon. aka the soulmate fic you knew was coming. [Soulmates AU]

Sentimentality AO3 by writesometimes* She stood in front of the windows and scanned the darkening New York skyline. The dark concrete, steel and glass of tall buildings blending with the inky indigo sky. There was no way she'd spot him if he was out there somewhere, but Karen knew. Frank was alive. 

Ain’t about what I like AO3 | Tumblr by zombieboyband Before the diner, after the gunfire. City nights, late drives, looking for coffee with Frank. Karen is too tired for easy questions. “Pardon, ma'am?” He sounds so goddamn polite it’s incredible. “The meat hooks. The part where you killed people and put them on meat hooks.” [Missing scene]

→OTHER  

On tumblr: kastlelibrary, kastlenetwork, kastlesource, queensofthekastle, thecrimescenejunkie

People with good Kastle tags: afigureofspeech, carry-the-sky, frankcastle, hipsterfrankcastle, likcoln, mazikeene, shipsabound, theworthofhollin

On AO3: the Frank Castle/Karen Page tag

Updated 12/19/17

[pleasecallmeeds]

another list woo

i was tagged by @eddieksgazebos so thank you!

1. last drink: mountain dew 

2. last phone call: my mom

3. last text message: “getting my tickets and i’ll be out” had play rehearsal today and i was getting my tickets before i left. sent to my mom

4. last song you listened to: evermore from the beauty and the beast soundtrack did i mention i’m a musical nerd?

5. last time you cried: physically probably last week. mentally every day all day.

6. dated someone twice: um in elementary school. i was a player back then. i was ugly so idk how but now i’m even more ugly lolol

7. kissed someone and regretted it: hahhahaha i haven’t really kissed anyone so i guess not!

8. been cheated on: Nope

9. lost someone special: yeah my best friend left out of the blue in 8th grade. legit didn’t tell me until she was gone. 

10. been depressed: not really? i’m just stressed, i wouldn’t consider myself depressed. i make way too many jokes about having depression which i know i probably shouldn’t. sorry. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i’m underage so i don’t drink. 

12. fave colour: love me some pastels. pastel yellow and lavender are pretty nice. 

13. made new friends: ehh i made one, but internet friend, not irl. 

14. fallen out of love: never been in love oof

15. laughed until you cried: oh yeahhh. story time. my friend maddy (psa i have like 3 friends named maddy and i’m also maddy but i’m the only one who goes by madison instead of maddy lol teachers always got us mixed up) was playing around in my front yard (this was like, 2 years ago? maybe just one?) and we kept pretending that every car that drove past were russian spies (i don’t know why don’t ask) and we were on our way back inside and there was a car and she just yelled “oh no! russians!” and fell RIGHT ON HER FACE it was hilarious and i just peed right then and there

16. found out someone was taking about you: yeah but everyone does it. i get it. 

17. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know?

19. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: never kissed anyoneeee

20. how many of your facebook friends do you know IRL: everyone except a few people i know at school but i’m not really acquainted with 

21. do you have pets: A dog named Levi

22. do you want to change your name: ehh maybe. everyone my age is named madison.

23. what did you do for your last birthday: i had a party at our city pool. had a stranger things cake. 

24. what time did you wake up today: 6:50

25. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping (hopefully)

26. something that you can’t wait for: Stranger Things season three, It chapter two, love, simon (it comes out friday i think?), got season 8, incredibles 2

27. what are you listening to right now: “skid row (downtown)” from little shop of horrors (it’s an old musical from the 80s/90s it’s a gem) 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1qE7hsgCd1OA7Ob7FcERR7?si=c0iEokWVTaKNJfyNdUR69Q

28. have you ever talked to a person named tom: what *is* this question??

29. something getting on your nerves: my lip is so cracked right now. you know that one episode of spongebob where he goes through those trials to save sandy on that island and theres the one lady with the big lips and the hairdryer? my lips are like that, when they’re all cracked and they fall off her face. 

30. most visited website: probably tumblr or youtube

31. hair colour: Brown

32. long or short hair: more like a medium

33. do you have a crush on someone: heh yeah 

34. what do you like about your self: I like to think i’m funny but i’m definitely more smart than funny

35. want any piercings: Not really

36. blood type: O (shit waddup)

37. nicknames: maddy. a lot of people ask me “what do you prefer to be called?” and i go “well, madison is fine” but lately i’m like, “you know, whatever.” because i tell them madison but they call me maddy anyway so really it doesn’t matter anyway

38. relationship status: Single 

39. zodiac: cancer

40. pronouns: she/her

41. fav tv shows: Stranger Things, Riverdale, Game of Thrones, Queer Eye, Everything Sucks!

42. tattoos: None

43. right or left handed: Right

44. ever had surgery: had an appendectomy (removal of the appendix)

45. piercings: pierced ears

46. sport: bowling and marching band. used to play tennis.

47. vacation: amersterdam! i used to love research anne frank.

48. trainers: i’m confused

49. eating: just ate the nastiest ass piece of pepperoni

50. drinking: still drinking the mountain dew

51. i’m about to watch: probably queer eye. i’m trying to spread out the episodes cuz i love that show so much i don’t want it to end.

52. waiting for: college. life. everything. anything.

53. want: really want a good future.

54 .get married: yes pleaSe

55. career: student. sophomore in high school. if you’re asking what i want my career to be...i’d really like to be a screenwriter.

56. hugs or kisses: i mean i haven’t kissed anyone, so as of right now hugs, but i’ve got a feeling i’ll like kisses more.

57. lips or eyes: Eyes

58. shorter or taller: medium

59. older or younger: younger?

60. nice arms or stomach: i don’t really care.

61. hook up or relationship: relationship

62. troublemaker or hesitant: sO hesistant. 

63. kissed a stranger: no

64. drank hard liquor: nope 

65. lost glasses: twice! story time. the first time, i was going door to door in the town over for my grandpa’s campaign for sheriff and i took them off because the i couldn’t see anything through them because of snow and then i lost them. spent forever looking for them and never turned up. second time i was going on vacation and i was biking. my glasses were hurting my ears so i put them in my bike basket. i didn’t think the holes were that big but they disappeared. still think its some kind of witchcraft. 

66. turned someone down: no i don’t think

67. sex on first date: oof idk probably not

68. broke someone’s heart: maybe?

69. had your heart broken: i don’t think so

70. been arrested: No

71. cried when someone died: no one close to me has died 

72. fallen for a friend: yeah

73. do you believe in:

yourself? no

miracles? I guess

love at first sight? yes. i’m a hoe for cliches.

santa clause? can you really believe in santa clause? lol

kiss on first date? probably

angels? nope.

74. best friends name: emma. <3 @reddie-to-fight

75. eye colour: Blue

76. fav actor: no please don’t do this to me. probably timothee chalamet.

tag: @reddie-to-fight, @fantastical-funnies, @reddietrashmouth, @reddietofall

[southasians]

ONCE YOU’VE BEEN TAGGED, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WRITE A NOTE WITH 92 TRUTHS ABOUT YOU. AT THE END, CHOOSE 25 (GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!) PEOPLE TO BE TAGGED. YOU HAVE TO TAG THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU. Thank you @wisesuggestion for tagging me! I’m sorry I took so long to actually do it! Oh and I forgot to add that I love your blog <3

1. WHAT WAS YOUR: Last beverage: Coffee Last phone call: My Best Friend <3 Last text message: My Mom <3 Last song you listened to: Despacito - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee Last time you cried: Like two or three days ago, lol

2. HAVE YOU EVER: Dated someone twice: Nope, just focusing on my personal goals for now Been cheated on: Nope, thankfully Kissed someone and regretted it: I can’t tell if I regret it or not? Lost someone special: Yeah I guess Been depressed: the longest yeah boi ever, loll Been drunk and threw up: I don’t drink

3. LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Black, Red, and Blue

4. LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU: Made a new friend: Yep Fallen out of love: Nope Laughed until you cried: Yeah, loll Met someone who changed you: Yep Found out who your true friends are: This happens every year, lol Found out someone was talking about you: Yep, lol

5. GENERAL: How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: I don’t have any social media besides tumblr, I kno I’m boring, loll

6. FIRSTS: First Surgery: I think it was a biopsy on my thigh First piercing: earlobes First best friend: I think it was this Russian exchange student named Mariah. I had a new best friend every year of elementary school, lol First sport you joined: I never really joined sports, cuz of strict parents, but I did play Dodgeball and Basketball First vacation: Pakistan First pair of trainers: I honestly have no idea, probably some sneakers that my mom found on Sale, lol

7. RIGHT NOW: Eating: no Drinking: no I’m about to: listen to music Waiting for: happiness

8. YOUR FUTURE: Want kids: I’ll probably have two just to please my parents, but I kinda just wanna adopt Get married: I hope I find someone I can see myself with, but for some reason I can’t even imagine it Career: I want to eventually get my Masters/Doctorate in Occupational Therapy, and work with children in either a clinical or hospital setting

9. WHICH IS BETTER: Lips or eyes: eyes Hugs or kisses: Kisses (just cuz I never get em! loll) Shorter or taller: taller Older or younger: younger (cuz I hate responsibility! D:) Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous Nice stomach or nice arms: arms Sensitive or loud: sensitive Hook-up or relationship: relationship Trouble-maker or hesitant: I like the idea of a troublemaker, lol

10. HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger: Yep Drank hard liquor: Nope Lost glasses/ contacts: Nope Sex on first date: Nope Broke someone’s heart: I think I might have? Don’t kno for sure lol Arrested: Nope Turned someone down: Yep Cried when someone died: Yep Fallen for a friend: Nah

11. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: Yourself: Not Really, lol Miracles: Yes, but don’t happen enough! Love at first sight: Nope, lol Heaven: Yes Santa Claus: Nope Kiss on the first date: Yes, hehe Angels: Yep

The 92 Truths part would probably take me years to actually do, so i’ll also just tage some people, lol: @fairycosmos, @pale-and-empty, @iman-castro, @kyugm, @hot-fuss-medstudent, @diorwhor-e, @hamdl, @moregreentea, @elkkuelkkuelkku, @ana-black, @uglywine, and anyone else interested!

You guys don’t have to do the tag as always!

[sheenabee]

Twitter and Tumblr are my safe places to feel. I came across some shit and felt the need to vent. Growing up in a two parent household, I was themost privileged Black child, until my younger siblings’ dad and a white women fucked it up.

My dad was hardly in the picture most of my life, and had the nerve to cop an attitude because I didn’t tell him Happy Father’s Day this one time. It blew the fuck up because I went in on his ass then we stopped talking, as if we had ever talked prior to this. Fast forward to the present, I’ve seen him twice in the years; both times it was because my brother was in the States.

Rewind to 2009, I was a sex crazed teen entering my first year of college. I started out young (at age 14) and orgasms were, and still are, everything. I was stuck on this one guy who was manipulative and pretended to only want me so that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. After three break ups in a five month span, it’s officially over, and then I’m pregnant. The next month, he’s with another girl, cheating on her every chance he gets, with yours truly, and the whole time, she’s trying to run their relationship in my face as if I didn’t already have that sack of shit prior to her being in the picture.

Fast forward through my 8 ½ months of pregnancy at age 18, was in labor for 4 ½ hours at the age of 19 after they broke my water, and I gave birth to the most perfect baby in the galaxy, Jeremy Andres Thompson.

I cried immediately after, as much as this was supposed to had been a joyous moment, I feel like I didn’t fit the criteria to be happy or be a mother, a single black female, broke as fuck, with issues with the father of my child and my mother (our relationship has improved since after my surgery in March when I moved out in April).

Leading up to my surgery, I decided to reach out to baby father to try and patch things up, but wound up in a web of repeated bad behavior on my end.

He has just started a new relationship with a girl he knew since high school. I didn’t know who, but with my great detective work, I figured it out within a week, of not a few days, but I didn’t say anything to him about knowing who she was for a few weeks. I was single and knew I could get what I wanted (dick and closure), so I didn’t allow his relationship status to deter me from my end goal. Nothing had changed from 2008 - 2009. Cheating on his current girl with me, lying to her about me, telling her the truth about me apparently, making me feel like it was my fault that he cheated, then after all that, and making me feel worthless, he slid right back in my panties like nothing ever happened, and my dumb ass let him LIKE 👏 NOTHING 👏 EVER 👏 HAPPENED.

I know I’m not shit. But that’s not why I’m here. I just feel sorry for anyone he’s ever dealt with after me.

CONSTANTLY leaving a trail of broken, manipulated women. I thought I was the only exception to the rule. I was fucking wrong.

IN THE TEN YEARS OF KNOWING THIS MOPHO, THIS WAS MY FINAL STRAW….

The week I had surgery (Mar 21), wound still fresh and everything, I’m popping Ibuprofen 800’s like a fucking champ, we take our son out for the day, and my mom was on some bullshit so we stayed at a hotel that night. We rode around looking for food, my son and I ate Sonic, and baby daddy didn’t want anything because he “doesn’t really eat fast food like that”. Me being completely out of it from the pills and pain and waking around all day when I shouldn’t have been (mom knows best), I shower, and doze off.

THIS IS WHEN SHIT GETS REAL AS FUCK.

While I’m in a daze, his phone is going off. He’s getting incoming messages from a female he dealt with in the past (I didn’t know this until a week later). Prior to this night I asked if he was still sleeping with her and he told me no. THAT WAS LIE #1.

He says something about being hungry and wanting to get food. This was about 30 minutes after we got to the hotel. I hate people driving my car, but I was in a daze so I let him use it. He leaves, I’m out cold, Jeremy is watch tv still. It’s about 1215a. I call and ask where he’s at, he comes up with some bullshit, so I do my thing and ask him to bring me a bottle of water.

Ladies, here’s a tip: if he’s doing some shit he ain’t got no business, he’s going to forget the fucking water.

And guess what?

A whole hour later, this motherfucker comes back to the hotel room I just paid for with NO FOOD and NO WATER, but came back with a Strawberrita in a tall can, completely plastered. I ask why he didn’t go to QT and he was like, “oh, yeah, I forgot it was right there.” (LIE #2) HOW? It’s a ½ mile away? Anyhow, I’m suspicious as fuck at this point, but I’m like whatever. I be knowing shit and don’t know I know.

Now mind you, I JUST HAD SURGERY on Monday, now it’s Saturday night/ Sunday morning, and this nigga has sex with me, but not before I give him head, and it (his pee pee) tastes like absolutely NOTHING. He had no scent down there whatsoever. I make a comment about how he tasted different and he’s like, “oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t shower.” (LIE # (FUCKING) 3

Bitch!!!!! I’ve given head to a football player right after practice. That’s what ‘I didn’t shower’ tastes like. Don’t fucking play me. In that moment I should have just been like you know I’m not feeling this, but I took one for the Thot Team and did it anyway cuz I thought I might just be paranoid as fuck. After the fact, I shower again, go to sleep, and have a dream about him fucking a girl named “Roxy”. “Roxy” sounds a lot like the name Judy 👀, but fast forward to the next week, I’m sitting on his lap going through his phone and something told me to go to his messenger app and find the messages between him and Judy. I go to the messages, look at the date, and BAM. The motherfucker got me. As previously stated, I thought I was the exception to the rule, but in that moment I knew I wasn’t. I had to go.

I should have known this ten years ago when he abandoned me with our child, but no, I thought I could have my family together, but he showed his ass, and on Father’s Day this year if I never speak to him again, I’ll be fine. I hurt for my child though, if anything.

So after being called out on his shit for fucking this girl and me within a couple hours, he manipulates the situation, gets me to chill the fuck out, but by the Saturday before Easter, he calls everything off. The spiteful bitch in me wanted to message his girl on Facebook and tell her everything, but I was like, “nah.” I’m too G for that, and she might not believe me anyway, so I left it alone.

But fast forward to Father’s Day…

Jeremy went to his dad’s the day prior and was acting an ass. His dad texted me saying he was “👌 close to beating his ass”. I call trying to talk to Jeremy, but he doesn’t give him the phone. He says he’s got it handled and the only thing I’m thinking is that Jeremy is in danger because I know how explosive his dad’s temper is. I calm down for a bit, but my thing is, if you got it under control, why the fuck are you texting me to tell me about it. Handle your fucking son. It’s amusing how Jeremy is “your son” when he’s acting up, but “our son” when he’s not. Anyway, the next day, the day of Father’s Day, I pick up Jeremy from his dad. The car I’m driving has no A/C and my boyfriend is in the car waiting for us (I got the boyfriend after the whole baby daddy sleeping with the other girl scenario, so no blurred lines there).

THIS IS WHEN SHOT GETS TRAUMATIC!

I go to the door and knock. Jeremy answers then walks back in front of his dad. He’s lecturing him about putting hot water in his water gun and shooting his dad with it. After about five minutes of this, I’m over it because he’s not handling the shit, just making him feel bad. Jeremy is not wired like that, he’s just like me.

Fast forward, I’m acting nonchalant because I don’t care to hear him talk any kind of way to a child, my child, when he hasn’t been around for four years and the kid is six. The boy has no respect for you, and if you can’t see that, you’re a fucking idiot. Anyway, he seems Jeremy to get his shoes on. Then he slaps me, pushes me around, this is nothing out of the usual for us, we play flight all the time, but this time felt a lot different, like their was malice behind every strike, and the whole time I’m telling him to stop but he doesn’t until he got ready to stop. All I wanted was to get my child and go but he’s blocking the way for Jeremy to get through and I call him to come out of the bedroom, thinking this would stop him from doing anything else, or taking it any further.

I was fucking wrong, and I regret calling Jeremy out of the room.

We got loud, and he said something, I don’t remember, and I said, “well, you don’t care anyway,” AND THE NEXT THING I FUCKING KNOW, his gotdamn fist was next to me face in the door.

His 👏 WHOLE 👏 FUCKING 👏 FIST.

NEXT TO MY WHOLE FUCKING FACE.

Then he starts taunting me “say I don’t care. Say I don’t care.” Now one thing you need to know about me is I may be 26, but I’m petty as fuck like a child, and I only do shit that I know will get under your skin and piss you the fuck off. It was fight or flight at this moment. Mind you, my child was still in the room watching all of this happen, and unfortunately, I had to take the high road. My boyfriend was in the car waiting for us to come out, and if shit would have popped off the way it did in my head, someone would have been in jail.

So as I’m standing there, everything went dark and I went cold, and my soul died that day. A part of me is dead and I’ll never get back. And I took the high road and I was just like, I’m leaving. As soon as the door closed behind me, I broke the fuck down. Crying, snot, loud sobs. I hadn’t cried like this is over a year. And that’s when I knew I was done. The situation affected me so bad I had an anxiety attack while leaving. My boyfriend asked what was wrong and I couldn’t tell him. Jeremy is sitting in the backseat and he told him, and I broke down even more.

This bitch scarred me for life. I’m a “mean” and hateful bitch because of him, but I’ve always tried being there for my kid. I fail every fucking day, to be a good mom and girlfriend, but I’m making the effort.

If anything, one thing that stuck a chord with me when he and I tried to patch things up in February was when we had the talk about the past and our actions and shit and I told him, “THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE NOT AROUND FOR JEREMY, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU NOT WANTING TO BE A FATHER TO HIM, YOU DON’T DUCK WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU’RE MAD AT ME. IF YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF AND BE THERE FOR YOUR LITTLE GIRL, THERE’S NO EXCUSE FORYOU NOT BEING THERE FOR JEREMY OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU’RE MAD. YOUR BEEF IS WITH ME, NOT THE FACT YOU DON’T WANT A KID.”

He agreed with me, and has on more than one occasion. But I knew this, so there’s no point in me being mad. What pisses me off is the real of broken women he’s left after me. I didn’t deserve it, They didn’t deserve it, his other three (3) possible children other than Jeremy who we KNOW is his (since he snuck and did an at home DNA test behind my back in my mother’s home and left a cotton swab wrapper in his bassinet (NIGGAS ARE SLOPPY AF)) don’t deserve it either.

Fuck any nigga that’s ever done me wrong. You missed out on a great girl. In the end I get to fall asleep and wake up to and argue and make love to am amazing ass guy who never ceases to amaze the fuck out of me. I told him when we first got together that if he was to ever hurt me the way my ex’s did, I’d make him pay for everything they’ve done. I’m serious, and that’s the scary part. He holds my whole world in his hands right now, but I trust him not to fuck shit up… Crazy me.

Well, that’s all the tea I’m spilling for now. Stay turned for a little more later on. ✌

[trvplordgabe]

/I LOVE YOU/

These past few months have been very hard... getting used not having one of the most important persons in my life, losing my bestfriend... DAMN it's been hard, this one is gonna be a short one but really direct one and I'm gonna post it but I'm also gonna send it to you because I'm not trynna be in this game that I'm gonna post it and wait 17 days for you to go on tumblr and maybe just maybe you'll scroll down enough to read it. I just really wanna say sorry, sorry for not being there anymore, sorry for disrespecting you if I ever did, sorry for doing this big scene at a mall, I'm sorry but it's hard... and as time goes by I get better and feel better and that makes me happy... look I love you, and you know that but seriously right now I hate you more than I love you... you did me wrong with soo many things and lied to me... you lied to me throughout more than a fucking whole year! I trusted you and you through me on the floor and stomped on me! You cheated on me twice, broke up with me for a reason that I thought I was soo stupid but I put myself in your shoes 1) cuz I love you 2) cuz I'm matured enough to see both sides of the story and not only that you didn't think twice of making out with him you broke up with me and ran straight to him... and in a relationship of a year and 2 months you've been with 2 guys that weren't me... and yeaa i am stupid but maybe it wasn't me, cuz love blinds you and makes you do shit you could undo... and I'm devastated cuz of life but there isn't anything I can do, all I can do is just keep living... btw I'm never gonna forget the good times we had cuz they were amazing but I'm probably gonna try to forget you cuz yeaa there were soo many good moments and very few bad ones but those bad ones hurt me to a point that I hate you... you more than anyone knows that I Gabriel Godoy loved you more than anything and it got to a point that I hate you! And I don't understand that, like how you go from black to white sooo fast and... i don't even know why I'm saying this but I'm sorry even though I shouldn't say sorry but I really am... we had everything and you through it away like if it didn't mean anything to you and I really can't do anything at this point and if you could get back together it would make me the happiest man on earth cuz it really would but I'm not ready and nothing assures me that you're not gonna hurt me again and if you ever wanna talk to me about this feel free cuz that's another thing that I try to do but I can never do it and that's giving my back to you

- Gabriel Godoy