#sorry if I'm raiding all these tags it's just this is useful and deserves tO SPRED LIKE WILDFIRE

[kqltlc]

Have ya'll heard of thumbnailing

you're basically just shitposting ideas in the most tiny speedy gremlin format ever it's great

what it helps with:

u can see the big picture better

planning a bunch of ideas 100

no details allowed, only BLOBBBSSS

(art tool) go wEEEEEEEE

failing is so fun bc this is a shitpost it doesnt matter I WILL FAIL AGAIN THIS IS A THREAT I AM UNSTOPPABLE

SPEED SPEED FASTER FASTER WE GO NYOOOOM

no moar getting stuck on thingz

works well for:

comics

concepts

character design

character reference sheets

illustrations

digital art

traditional art

storyboardz

really anything go crazy go stupid

bet u can apply this to crafts or music or smth

anyway here's mine this took 20 seconds in ms paint (not including texture overlay / wm which was added for sharing purposes)

(example for a friend on thumbnailing and how to use it to plan where colors generally go b4 carving into it with details bc cyberpunk robots suck ass to design if you dont let yourself shitpost first)

oh lookie a useful youtube video from Brookes Eggleston - Character Design Forge on thumbnailing

Sincerely,

-- Your local undead who noticed a lot of artists struggling with making character references bc they're designing the character while making the reference and omg it's so limiting plz shitpost them first with thumbnailing it's so much more freeing and fun and quicker to figure out things if u do

Thumbnailing is a fast way to test compositions. You can play around and experiment as much as you want to visualize different ways to tackle an artwork.

Draw your OC ���‍♂️ Gain loot 💰 Defeat Art Block 💪 Start playing PaperDemon for free!

▶ PaperDemon: bit.ly/3FJXxS7 ▶ Discord: discord.gg/PJTTtzC

[minustwofingers]

i need to tell you something

pairing: ellie williams x reader (no pronouns used for reader)

summary: you muster up the guts to confess to your best friend when she gets bit, but things go an unanticipated direction when she has a confession of her own

warnings: violence, ANGST!, swearing, painful yearning, ellie was low key maybe not the best gf to cat (???)

a/n: yeahhhh so i just wrote this rq. the poll is irrelevant now bc i'm posting this anyway. sorry that it's not enemies to lovers!! i thought best friends was calling for me to write it instead. physics tutor au may be more aligned w that kinda vibe. anyway enjoy x

wc: 1.9k

tags: (so sorry if i missed anyone, i'm being a little bad about adding tagged stuff but i promise exoplanet will have updated tags!)

@intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @parkersmyth @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower​

It happened so fast. One moment, you and your best friend were goofing off and joking around as you checked one of the abandoned cottages in the outskirts of the woods. You were pretending not to notice the way that your shoulders brushed as you went through the doorway, pretending like you didn’t yearn for a touch from her that was for once intentional.

The next, you were lying on the ground next to the same best friend, swallowing back the scream in your throat as you stared at the fresh bite mark on her shoulder.

The air smelled of damp wood and blood, the decrepit sitting room of the cottage dark and sheltered from the sun outside.

It was sunny outside. The world was cruel like that. You’d never be able to see the sun again without thinking about losing Ellie.

You’d thought you’d checked everywhere. You were sure of it. But then when you were goofing off trying to raid the cabinets and steal some extra CDs that you two could watch together later, you heard Ellie’s shriek and a crash. 

It was the worst sound you’d ever heard in your life. Your vision went red as you saw the bedraggled, barely-human figure of a stalker crouch over her, digging its disgusting hands into her skin and snapping at her. You fired off 5 shots in succession, not stopping until it was limp. 

Even while you were dragging it off her, praying to any God that might’ve been up there that she hadn’t been bitten by that thing, you were still hoping that maybe you’d been quick enough. Maybe you’d been fast enough, smart enough, strong enough to save her. 

You knew it had been a pipe dream. You knew, but the sight of the blood pearling at her freckled skin in the shape of a mouth and her torn shirt still made you gasp in horror and drop to the floor next to her.

“No. No, no, no, no.” For some reason that was the only word you could bring yourself to say. 

She was panting, her chest rising and falling with exertion from the fight. 

Or maybe she was turning. It was a shoulder bite, after all. Those didn’t take long.

“I’m so, so, sorry.” Your hands found her face and cupped her jaw, letting your eyes meet hers. 

“Y/N, wait—”

“I should have seen it,” you continued, shaking your head. “This is my fault. I’m so sorry. It should’ve been me. You don’t deserve this. I’m not going to leave you.”

As you spoke, tears slid down your face, blurring your vision until Ellie looked fuzzy.

Her hands wrapped around yours, pulling them from her face and intertwining your fingers as she laid them in her lap. “No, Y/N, don’t—”

“I can’t go on without you,” you said between choked sobs. “I won’t do it.” 

The warm sun coming in through the window pane above you felt like a nasty joke. The golden light lit the back of Ellie’s head, reflecting off of her auburn hair like a halo. She’d never looked more beautiful. And she never would again. 

“I need to tell you some–”

“Wait,” you interrupted, squeezing your eyes shut and gripping her hands tighter. “I’m sorry. I’ll let you go in a minute. I just—I need to tell you something too, okay? Before…before…”

You hiccuped and tried to shrug your shoulder to your cheek to catch the waterfall of tears and snot on your face. 

“You’re freaking me out,” Ellie complained, resting her head against the wall and sending you a weak smile. 

Her casualness, her fearlessness, her overall Ellie-ness made you nearly crack again, but you had to keep it together. You had to get this out. She couldn’t leave without hearing this. 

“Listen,” you began, your voice wavering, “I, uh…I don’t know how to say this. I’m sorry if this isn’t something you want to hear. Oh, god, actually, this is really selfish of me. Nevermind.” 

Because it was. These were the last few moments of Ellie’s life, and you were making it all about you. She didn’t see you like that, that much was clear. You’d once thought otherwise—but that was before Cat, before you saw her smile the same way with her and let Cat kiss her in front of everyone whenever you saw them around your friends. 

So maybe it would be better if you just didn’t say anything. That way she wouldn’t look back on your memories together as creepy.

Ellie swallowed, then discreetly cast her gaze down to her right arm, just for a moment. “You can tell me anything, you know. You always could.”

The words brought a renewed wave of tears to your eyes, and you did your best to valiantly fight off the lump in your throat long enough to get the words out. 

You supposed that if she was asking for it, she deserved to know the truth. 

“Look, I—I really—” The words died in your throat.

Ellie was still and quiet, patiently waiting for you to finish and letting you hold her hands in a vice grip. She was always like that—so stoic and strong.

“I don’t know how to say this,” you repeated, turning your gaze back to your tangled fingers. “I don’t want to ruin the way you remember our friendship.”

“You couldn’t do that if you tried,” said Ellie, her lips pulling up. “I like you too much.” 

It was stuff like that that made you want to rip your hair out and scream into your pillow. 

I like you too much.

Just when you thought life couldn’t get any crueler, the purgatory of queer yearning always had a funny way of proving you wrong. 

“I don’t want to keep lying to you.” Your voice wavered as you looked anywhere but her face. “I’ll always see you as a friend. I know that’s what I am to you. And I promise I wasn’t, like, being gross about this when we hung out.” The past tense made your stomach churn. Hung out. You’d never get to spend time again with her after this. Speed it up, Y/N. You’re running on borrowed time. “That’s to say that I really do love being friends with you. I always have. It’s just that—” 

This had to be the most painful confession in the history of the world. Maybe you should just ask Ellie to bite you to put you out of your misery. 

“I’ve always wanted more with you,” you forced out. “Like—more than friends. Ever since I met you.”

Ellie was suspiciously quiet for so long that you began to worry that she was already turned. You dared to peek up at her through your lashes. 

She blinked twice in rapid succession upon meeting your eyes, her face otherwise void of emotion.

“I need to confess something too,” she said slowly, her voice significantly more even than you’d expect for someone preparing for their death.

If she was going to say that she felt the same way, you weren’t sure how you’d ever get over this. 

“I’m immune.”

Oh.

“What?”

Then she laughed at you—actually laughed at you, her eyes crinkling.

“I’m immune,” she repeated, her lips stretched into a wide smile. “I was trying to tell you—but god forbid you let me finish anything I want to say—”

You tried to snatch your hands away from where they were entwined with hers in her lap, but her fingers refused to let up. “How do you even know that?!” She had to be lying. 

“Because I’ve been bitten before,” she said. Her eyes were sparkling with mirth. “Twice, actually. And that was years ago. And look at it. It doesn’t look like other bites, right?”

You reluctantly gave it a closer look. True to her word, the tell-tale growths of the Cordyceps were nowhere to be seen, something unheard of for a bite so close to the head after a few minutes.

It was the real deal. She really wasn’t going to turn. 

You never knew it was possible to feel this mortified. 

“You’re such an asshole,” you snapped, finally succeeding in freeing your hands and pushing yourself away so you weren’t touching her. “You barely even tried to tell me. You let me embarrass myself.”

She shrugged, amusement still pulling at her mouth. “I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to hear what you had to say.”

“Well, that was very impolite of you.” You crossed your arms and looked away from her, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Just forget I said anything, okay?” 

“Hey.”

There was a hand at your elbow, pulling you so you slid across the hardwood until your knees knocked together.

“Look at me,” said Ellie. Her voice was soft, almost gentle. You rarely ever heard her like this.

When you didn’t comply, the hand that wasn’t at your arm came to your chin, tilting it so she could see your face. 

Ellie was still smiling, but there was something else in her eyes—something that wasn’t just amusement, 

“It’s the same for me,” she said. Her skin was warm against yours. “Ever since I met you.”

Your heart stopped. “What? But what about Cat?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t think you saw me like that. I thought seeing other people would help.”

“And did it?”

Ellie winced. “Obviously not.”

“Poor Cat.” You weren’t sure how else to respond.

“Poor Cat,” Ellie agreed. 

Shyly, your hand came up to brush back the piece of hair that had escaped from her bun, letting your fingers rest on the back of her neck.

You’d never touched her there before. You’d never had an excuse to touch her intentionally. Doing so felt almost criminal, like you were breaking some sort of unspeakable barrier. 

But then she pulled you in and kissed you, and you forgot all about arbitrary rules and the now antiquated platonic label that defined you two.

It lasted for just a moment, her lips brushing against yours as you leaned into her, your fingers tangling into her hair. The gentle warmth of the sun hit your hand, and you twisted it so your forearm lay flat against her. 

It was a mistake. Ellie cried out, startling you as you wrenched away from her. There was something warm and wet on your arm—which, upon further investigation, was the blood from the bite you’d accidentally pressed into as you maneuvered your hand.

“Shit,” you said. You’d totally forgotten that she’d still been injured regardless of her immunity. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ellie said, though you could tell she was hiding the pain. “Sorry. It didn’t hurt that much.” 

“Let’s go back,” you said, standing up as you held out a hand. “We’ll get that cleaned up.”

You’d been worried that kissing her would change things. Maybe she’d decide that she didn’t actually want you after all and that she didn’t even want to be friends. 

But once she’d grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together as you both walked down the road back to Jackson, you found that there was nothing to worry about. Not anymore. 

final a/n: im gonna be so real and say i love the premise of this but this was a littleeee bit of a flop in my book i didn't know how to end it but i hope you all enjoy this as a way to hold you over while i finish p5!

[ntzsche9]

Here's to a fresh intro! I'm Verne (they/them), practically a queer elder in my 30s and too many of my stories are me simply wanting to write a scene, developing a bit of a world around it, then losing interest entirely. I’m still trying to figure out how to break that curse, but in the meantime, I’m just going to chase inspiration and post odds and ends here. I used to be an avid role-player, and my small cast of OCs from those days provide the greatest and easiest inspiration - particularly in the setting of the Fallout Universe. I do my best to write for a reader who is unfamiliar with the series, though.

Interests:

Post-apocalyptic

Near-future dystopias

Scifi/Fantasy (urban) and magical realism

History/AltHistory (especially lesser-known and marginalized stories)

Horror, dark, violent, and mature themes

Queer everything. I can't write heteros to save my life and I'm not all that sorry about it.

Sexy melodrama and smut with too much plot

Fanfiction (I could read/write Fallout stuff all day)

________________________________________________

Noteworthy WIPs:

Bad Blood - A Fallout Nuka-World fanfic (tag: #ntzsche Nuka-World)

I hope to eventually write this comprehensively enough to post on AO3 but for now, I work on this story to practice becoming a better writer. Incomplete Prequel: Sanctuary.

Lafayette, the son of a 'retired' raider, left his abusive father to find his place in the world and was taken in by an eclectic trauma-bonded found family that inspires him to be a better person and shows him love he is certain he doesn't deserve. When his father comes across them in a raid, Lafayette joins him in order to save the settlement and his little brother. Lafayette finds that being with his dad again, and playing the son he always wanted him to be, isn't nearly as difficult as he thought it would be. He struggles to maintain the person he wants to be with the person he suspects he is, all while a cast of scheming raiders, wastelanders, and slaves vie for power in a raider city built within the rusted remains of an amusement park.

Salem's Child - (tag: #ntzsche Salem)

A background on one of the lesser Bad Blood characters that I got carried away with.

Andrew Rook doesn't look like his parents. He looks like someone they are desperate to forget. The witchy remains of post-apocalyptic Salem, Massachusetts provide some solace from his rough home life. In a fading settlement run by incompetent adults who would rather blame the population of feral black cats for their problems than try to resolve them, Andrew and his two best friends build a world in their imagination that shields them from the wretchedness of the wasteland and the people they have to rely on to survive.

Navarro (working title) - (tag: #ntzsche Zavala)

Multi-generational short stories. Inspired heavily by Fallout universe, but reads as a stand-alone. Temporarily on hold pending a sensitivity beta reader for a few of the stories.

María Zavala, an aging curandera, happily sacrifices her place in a vault to her pregnant chicano daughter and faces the nuclear apocalypse alone. When radiation blesses her with immortality, she survives long enough for her great-grandchild to come home to her, and the family finds a way to flourish against great odds. Under their immortal matriarch, her descendants become the foundation for a town that is a bastion in an otherwise inhospitable world.

The Crash - (tag: #ntzsche Crash)

A real-world AU. 

Gabe always knew his functional alcoholic roomie would get into a terrible car wreck someday, but he never thought he would be dumb enough to be in the car with him. When the consequences of the wreck threaten to destroy Dave's life, Gabe finds himself doing everything he can to hold those pieces together. The love he harbors for his straight, polyamorous best friend runs deeper than either of them are ready to face, but Dave's injury makes it that much harder to hide.

________________________________________________

Miscellaneous

Master list of writing posts, mostly backstories, one-shots, and excerpts (tag: #ntzsche misc).

Every You and Every Me - Cosmic horror flash-fiction

Misc Fallout Fiction

Typically taking place before the events of Bad Blood, roughly in chronological order:

Smiling Jack - Backstory for Dizz

Vault 112 - Backstory for Dave and Gabe

If Dave Had Died - What-if scenario from prior to Sanctuary

Sanctuary - How Lafayette became a part of his new family, direct prequel to Bad Blood

The Boston Library - One-shot writing prompt containing Lafayette and Luvell, after Sanctuary

OC Intro - most of my recurrent OCs have their own tags.

(some links forthcoming)

[bee-dot-exe]

Surprise, I told you that I would post it and tag you eventually, @wolfboypunzo, hope this is what you had in mind!

Last Day Of Twitchcon

993 words

Bit of angst, it's a Dream Team but Sapnap focused hurt/comfort, so it has a sweet ending.

The second we were sure the streams had ended, the raids had gone through, and Discord was closed, the three of us headed for a more secluded area of the convention building to relax.

Before Dream and George left for the next panel. Which I wasn't invited to for whatever reason. But it's fine. I was so goddamn tired and didn't feel that great anyway.

None of us completely fell asleep, but we did let our minds and bodies relax for the next hour or so, and then we were backstage. Even though Dream has shown his face for a year now, it was still one of his first major outings, he had a right to be nervous. Of course, George and I took him through a couple grounding techniques and reassured him of his worth and impact.

Then Parker walked out.

Then Bad, Sylvee, Puffy, Dream, George, Sam, Hannah.

Then Bink, Spreen, Gia.

"I want us to take the time for the last little bit of the panel and say one nice thing about everyone else, say your favorite thing about the other people on these couches, end this with some feel good moments."

The longer they spent, the more my stomach felt a little bit like it was putting itself in a knot. It was really nice, and I was happy for everyone, they deserve it, they all deserve everything. I didn't wanna be out there.

By the end, everyone's eyes were a bit shiny, even George's, and everyone was backstage again. The ones who were on the panel stayed for some group pictures and conversed, when Dream walked over to me standing by the wall away from the crowd.

"All good, Sap?"

I nodded and lightly rubbed my eye with the back of my hand.

"Kinda tired. Kinda hungover."

He smiled sympathetically.

"Wanna head back to the hotel?"

I nodded again, so he got George, we said our see you later's, and left.

Almost as soon as we used the keycard to our room, we all made way to our designated sleeping spots.

"Been a long day, long couple days, actually."

I said while trying to sink as far into the bed as it would let me, Dream and George vehemently agreeing, maybe everything would be fine and I could forget what happened.

"You did such a good job out there, by the way. I know it was pretty nerve wracking. But you did it, and that meant a lot to the fans."

Maybe not.

"You did such a good job today, too, I know that's not easy, especially when it comes to like showing emotions, which I didn't expect."

Definitely not.

I listened to them talk about the panel for a few more minutes, before I turned my face into the pillow and exhaled heavily, apparently causing more of a disturbance than I intended, because Dream and George stopped talking.

"Hey, what's going on, does your head hurt that bad, Nick?"

Damn Dream and his big heart.

"It's fine, sorry."

"Don't worry, we can stop, want me to get you some water or something?"

George too? This wasn't fair.

"I said it's fine."

"I mean, clearly not, let me just---"

"My head isn't the problem, okay?"

I didn't mean to say that so loud. Or come off that way. Or say anything at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired."

I put my head back on the pillow and tried to avoid making eye contact.

"Hey Nick?"

Guess not making eye contact wasn't an option.

"That's not all that's going on, is it?"

I shook my head slow enough for them to hopefully not notice, of course I wasn't that lucky, and they both started over the sit on the edge of my bed.

"The panel was really nice."

"Sap?"

"It was really nice and I wasn't there."

"Sap..."

"It was really nice and everyone was being really nice and you guys were saying really nice things about each other."

"Sapnap."

I looked up at that.

"Sapnap, one day I was this random kid playing Minecraft who met this other random kid playing Minecraft and the stars aligned just right or something and this kid said 'type 123 for Skype team' and that led me to one of my best friends.

And then you moved in and met Patches, and you let me do as much as I could without showing my face, which wasn't a lot, and you could've said 'no this is too much' or something, but you didn't, you stayed by my side the whole time through everything no matter what.

You have never not been by my side to encourage me or keep my anxiety at bay or stop putting up with the things I ask of you or put you through and I couldn't be more grateful to have you here."

The tears that had been pricking at the corners of my eyes after I raised my voice earlier were now small trails racing down and over my cheekbones as Dream finished speaking.

"You got on a plane the second you heard that I wasn't feeling the greatest emotionally even though it scares you.

You picked me up from the airport when I got to the US and were the person to greet me and help me start this new life with you and Dream.

You drive me crazy and I drive you crazy and we have fun and laugh and I can count on you for anything."

George. I think he was replaced by a clone or something. Cause he doesn't talk like this. And I was still crying. I didn't know what to say.

"Hey guys?"

"Yes?"

"I wasn't lying when I said I was tired earlier."

"Come here, dumbass."

We all laughed, Dream hugged me and laid us down together, George following behind, so we could take a a nap, and continue to do this crazy journey called life with each other.

[jeonwon-wonwoo]

— bias tag game *ੈ✩‧₊˚

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list! (thank you sm for tagging me @mihgyu 🫶💕)

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

maddie's bias list:

wonwoo (svt)

seungkwan (svt)

seungcheol (svt)

hoshi (svt)

dino (svt)

kai (exo)

baekhyun (exo)

cha eunwoo (astro)

key (shinee)

soobin (txt)

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

when i first started out listening to kpop, i listened to exo a lot before seventeen! so, i biased baekhyun before dino!

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

seungkwan🥹💕he's one of my ult biases, and i just love him so much! he's so sweet and caring towards the members! and i feel like he often forgets that it's okay for him to just take a moment for himself, and take care of himself! i'd honestly want him to be my best friend lol! but he truly deserves the whole world!

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

wonwoo, my other ult bias!💕 he just seems so chill in his down time, and i feel like we don't even have to do anything together! we could just do our own thing in comfortable silence! like quality time if that makes sense! but i would play video games with him! i'm not used to being a PC video game player (i'm more of a console video game player), so it'd be cool for him to teach me! or also just really sit down and have a nice chat! he seems like to the type of person you can speak to for hours about anything!

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

his smile! he just has such an adorable smile! i love it sm!

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

maybe his duality! he's just so cool and badass on stage! he's such a great performer! but then he's so sweet and funny when he's not on stage! the duality is insane, and i love it!

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

i would tell him that i'm proud of him for being so strong! he's been through a lot the past year, and he's continued pushing forward! he's so loved and supported by so many people! he deserves all the happiness in the world!💕

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

wonwoo for sure! his outfits just seem so comfy, and i love wearing comfy clothes! the oversized shirts and hoodies would be so nice to wear honestly!

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

dark academia for sure!(i don't think he's done it before but idk) i feel like he would look so good in darker colors, especially brown! and i love when guys wear a nice pair of dress pants! i think he can pull this style off!

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

dino! i'm still shorter than him though lol! but my height is pretty average!

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

at the moment, i'm really liking shinee and key's solo music!

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

tagging (i'm sorry if you've already been tagged!): @ayatou @irlvernon @homerunhansol @wonufied @itsyoonzino @kveom @kyeomblr @woozification @master-tonberry @jeonsupershy + and anyone else who would like to! (please only if you'd like to!)

[cocomaxley]

What's Left of Us - Part 2

This is a part of a TRR A/U called Cordonians Gone Wild, a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @leelee10898 and yours truly. Catch up HERE.

Summary: Genevieve has to decide if Rashad deserves another chance.

Rating: Angst, I'm sad

Tag List: @fullbeaumonty @brightpinkpeppercorn @alj4890 @zaffrenotes @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @jlouise88 @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @lynne1993

Rashad left the office and joined Anitah, Pam, Liam and Drake in the living room. He spotted Genevieve across the room as guests offered their condolences. He noticed three men approach her that he recognized. He watched Thomas and Julian hug her and kiss her cheek before stepping aside. Rashad’s eyes narrowed when Christian stepped forward and hugged her longer than he liked. His hands clenched into fists when he saw Christian wipe a tear from her face.

Anitah noticed Rashad’s tense posture and looked to where he was staring. She smirked, “There’s someone who would treat her right if he had the opportunity...” Pam added, "Old habits die hard, eh Rashad?"

Liam frowned, “Anitah, Pam...please don't start. He already feels like shit.” Drake grumbled, “That’s his own damn fault, Liam.”

“Excuse me…” Rashad stood up and walked out the front door. He sat down on the porch swing, relieved to have a moment alone. He knew he needed to talk to her so he could beg her not to take the job and to come home instead.

The front door opened, and Thomas, Julian and Christian walked out of the house. Thomas and Julian shook his hand and headed to their car. Christian turned to him and said, “Take care of her...she's really hurting.” He extended his hand and Rashad shook it. Christian got in the car and the three men left.

The door opened again. Genevieve stepped out and stood in front of him. He got up and smiled weakly at her. She shook her head as tears streamed down her face. “You hurt me...a lot. But I think you know that, otherwise you wouldn't be here.”

He pleaded with her, “Gen, I’m so sorry. My job, my company, nothing will ever be more important than you. I was angry, and I took it out on the one person that didn't deserve it. I will never forgive myself for that. Please, don't take that job. Please come back with me. I will never hurt you again.”

She whispered through a sob, “I don't think I can give you another opportunity to hurt me again. Please go home, Rashad.” With that, she walked back inside the house leaving him alone on the porch. He slumped down on the porch swing feeling like he was just punched in the stomach. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he didn't even bother to wipe them when they finally fell down his face.

The two couples said goodbye to Genevieve and met Rashad on the porch. Anitah and Pam didn't even acknowledge him before getting into the waiting limo. Once the car was on the road, Rashad cleared his throat and looked at the two women, "Did she tell you she's not coming back to Cordonia, and that she accepted a job offer here?"

Drake and Liam shared a shocked look but didn't say a word. “Yes,” Anitah stated still staring out the window.

"I love her....and I want her to come home." He was trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

“Rashad...do you really love her? Or did you just not want to be alone...or maybe she was good for your ego? Looked good having her on your arm at events?” Anitah sat forward looking at him. “Because I’m seriously questioning whether or not you ever loved her. You don’t destroy someone you love, Rashad. Breaking a woman’s heart goes way deeper than you guys may realize, and this goes for all of you,” she eyed each man in that limo. “We may be able to walk around with a smile, we may be able to act as though it doesn’t bother us, or in Gen’s case, we maybe able to act as though we can just up and move forward...but the truth is, you just destroyed her outlook on love. You ripped her self esteem to shreds, for you to make her think that she wasn’t enough for you, that she was a ‘mistake’ as you put it. And you very well may have just lost the best thing that ever happened to you, Rashad. And if that’s the case, I’m sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself.” Anitah sat back and crossed her arms.

Rashad stared at her with his mouth open. “I do love her...with everything in me. I'm not going to act like I know how she's feeling. I'm sure it's far worse than what I'm feeling and I feel really fucking horrible. I just want the chance to fix it and make it right.” He choked up before continuing, “But she told me that she didn't want to give me that chance. And you're right, it's all my fault.” He could no longer hold back his tears. He pulled his gaze from Anitah and looked out the window.

Liam gave his friend a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, “Rashad...just give her some time...she has a lot going on right now with everything.”

Anitah gave Liam the side eye, glaring at him as she looked over to him. He silently motioned to a now crying Rashad giving his wife a look in return. She widened her eyes shaking her head as she shrugged her shoulders. Liam shook his head knowing he lost this silent argument.

Pam glared at Rashad and was about to say something when Drake put his hand on her knee, “Baby, I know you wanna yell at him. I’d very much like to see it, but maybe just wait. I really don't think he can handle much more. He knows how you ladies feel.” Pam crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. But she remained silent.

When they arrived at the hotel, Rashad let the four of them walk ahead of him. He watched as Liam wrapped his arm around Anitah’s waist, pulling her tight against his side. Drake draped his arm around Pam’s shoulders and pulled her close. Before going into his room, he looked down the hall at the two couples as they reached their hotel room doors. Liam was standing behind a giggling Anitah. He leaned down and kissed her neck. Drake had Pam pinned up against their door, lips locked in a passionate kiss.

He went into his room and removed his suit jacket and tie. He threw both items onto the bed before raiding the mini bar. His phone rang and he rifled through his suit jacket to find it, hoping it was Genevieve. When he saw it was his business partner calling, he threw it across the room and watched it shatter against the wall.

Genevieve sat on her bed in her childhood bedroom, hugging her Sunshine bear. All the guests were gone, and she was finally alone. She opened her phone and went through the texts and voicemails from Rashad. The messages from the day before were more desperate than the day of the fight, his voicemails more frantic. She wiped the tears from her face. She was sick of crying. She felt like that's all she's been doing for the past few days. There was a knock on her bedroom door. She looked up as her mom, Carla, walked into the room.

Her mom sat on her bed and cupped her cheek, “Baby girl, I know you're hurting, and not just because of grandpa. That poor man looked so lost when he was here. But when the two of you saw each other, it was like the world stopped. I've never seen anything like it. You know I'd rather have you close to home than some foreign country but...your heart knows where it calls home and I don't think that's here anymore.”

Genevieve looked down as more tears streamed down her face, “He hurt me, mama. He made me feel so unimportant and disposable. Like I was...nothing.”

She pulled her daughter into her arms, “Gen, sometimes it's easier to hurt the people we love than the people that actually deserve it. It's a sad truth. I don't think he meant what he said. I think he regrets all of it, and I think you know that.” Carla tilted Genevieve's face to look up at her. “You are my daughter. I love you with all my heart. You are beautiful, intelligent, and resilient. But you are equally sarcastic, facetious, and infuriatingly stubborn. Baby, if you decide to stay, I'll be so happy to have you here. But will I have all of you or will your heart be elsewhere?” She kissed Genevieve’s forehead and left her with her thoughts.

The following morning, the five friends met in the lobby. “You guys ready to leave? We can decide who rides in which jet when we get to the airfield,” Liam said to the group.

Pam shook her head, “Actually, why don't the three of you go ahead in Rashad’s jet. Anitah and I are going to stay for a couple more days. Today is the first day Gen hasn't been surrounded by people, so I think her grandfather’s death will hit her hard...she needs us since her boyfriend is probably eager to get back to work.”

Rashad hung his head, “I deserve all of this, and I've taken everything you've given, the yelling, the anger, the hurtful words...but I can't listen to it anymore. It kills me that I've lost her. I was devastated when my ex left me. Losing Gen is a million times worse than that. Don't you see? She is my world, my everything. You both are with the love of your life. How would you feel knowing you fucked up so bad that you lost them? So please stop...I can't take anymore right now.” He walked out of the hotel without another word.

Everyone got into the limo. The men were dropping off Pam and Anitah at the Sanchez home. When they pulled up, Carla was outside throwing salt down on the slick sidewalk. She walked up to the car and greeted them. “Good morning! Is anyone hungry? I just got done cooking breakfast. My crabby little princess is inside eating right now,” she said with a laugh.

Liam shook his head, “Oh we couldn't impose, Mrs. Sanchez.”

“Nonsense! I insist, everyone inside right now.” She pointed to the house, and everyone did as they were told by Mama Carla.

They walked into the kitchen, and Genevieve smiled until her eyes fell on Rashad. Her face turned into a scowl as she grabbed her plate and walked towards the stairs.

“No food upstairs, young lady!” Carla shouted after her daughter.

“I am almost 30 years old! I will eat upstairs if I want to, especially when you invite unwanted visitors into our house,” Genevieve yelled back, stomping up every single step.

Anitah giggled as she yelled, “You’re grounded!” Just as the door slammed shut.

Carla let out a hearty laugh, “My daughter is amazing in the morning. She made me understand why wild animals eat their young. Now, there's only one rule in this house, if it's there, it needs to be eaten. So help yourselves.”

Carla arched her brow as Liam loaded his plate with bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes and French toast. “Does no one feed you?” She pushed the plate of pancakes closer to him. Liam just smiled as he ate.

Genevieve's dad, Roberto, stood up from the table and looked directly at the men, “You better be careful...she makes you fat so you can't run away.” They all laughed as he walked into the living room.

The older woman noticed that Rashad remained quiet during the meal, barely eating. His eyes kept darting towards the stairs. She walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder, “Just give her some time. She's stubborn, you know that. But she will come around.” She gave his shoulder a squeeze. He smiled at her, “Thank you, Mrs-...” she gave him a warning look, and he cleared his throat, “mom.”

“Now, Drake, all this closeness is probably killing you. Roberto is probably sleeping by now. Go ahead and take the remote from him.” She winked at Drake who stood up and kissed her cheek, “Thanks, ma.”

“I've heard a lot about you, Anitah. Tell me more about yourself,” Carla inquired. Anitah cleared her throat, “Uh, I grew up in New York, literally met Prince Charming and fell in love…” Anitah giggled and Carla smiled. “Where in New York?” She asked with a thoughtful expression on her face. “I grew up in Long Beach, and I went to Fordham in the Bronx. I worked at a bar while in college. Then met this group of goons there one night.” Liam feigned offense, “Hey!”

Pam finished her plate of food and joined Drake in the living room. Roberto was asleep in his recliner when Drake took the remote from his hand. Genevieve’s dad woke up with a loud snore once Drake changed the channel. “What are you doing, boy?” Drake’s mouth fell open, “You...you were sleeping...mom said I could…”

Pam giggled and took the remote from her husband. “Drake, never touch another man’s remote.” Pam handed the controller back to Roberto as she said, “Sorry, dad. Don't mind him.”

Once Liam had his fill of food, the men said their goodbyes and left for the airport. Pam decided to check on Genevieve leaving Anitah in the kitchen with Carla. Once Pam convinced Genevieve that the boys were gone, the two women went downstairs. Anitah wiped her face when she saw her friends walk into the kitchen. Genevieve was about to say something when she saw her mom shake her head, so she kept her mouth shut.

The next day, Genevieve asked Pam and Anitah to go apartment hunting in areas near the city. She knew they were leaving the following morning. She wanted some company looking for a place close to the hospital since she no longer had a car. The girls met her realtor who took them to an Evanston apartment. Genevieve walked around the tiny living space and stopped as soon as she saw the kitchen. “Nope, not gonna work for me. I can't open the oven door all the way because it'll hit the cabinet handle.”

The realtor took them to another Evanston apartment that was only a ten minute walk from the hospital. Genevieve immediately said no because of the outdated bathroom. After several apartments, the realtor finally found one that Genevieve couldn't pick apart. Pam and Anitah stayed in the living room while she looked through the master bedroom when she heard a crash. Genevieve and the realtor came running out and saw a light fixture broken on the floor. Anitah pointed to the broken glass, “Gen, this place clearly isn't constructed very well. Do not sign the lease on this one.” The realtor stared at her with her mouth open.

The next apartment was newly renovated with a view of Lake Michigan. “I love it! This is it girls!” Genevieve squealed. “Gen, there's a giant crack in the wall. This may have some structural problems.” Pam said pointing to a large crack in the wall. The realtor was about to say something when Anitah pulled her into the hallway. “Ugh, I guess I'll have to keep looking,” Genevieve groaned.

On the ride back to Genevieve's house, Anitah asked, “Gen...are you...are you sure staying in Chicago is what you really want to do?”

Genevieve arched her brow, "What do you mean? A job like this doesn't just get handed to you every day. Some people would kill for this opportunity.” She sighed before continuing, “Besides...what's in Cordonia for me? You guys are married and you'll be starting families soon...maybe this is where I need to be."

Anitah gave her a questioning look, “Are you going to try and talk to him?”

She shrugged, "There's nothing to talk about. I told him to go home and he did...so that's that. He knows I'm taking the job...I just need to send in the offer letter."

Anitah continued to question her friend, “Well is there a reason you haven’t submitted it yet, Gen? You’ve had plenty of time to do so...yet it’s still sitting at your house...”

"It's been a busy two days with the wake and the funeral...this is the first day I've had to even think about it." Genevieve replied.

Pam couldn't hold her tongue anymore, "You're full of shit, Gen. You haven't sent that letter in because we both know that stupid asshole, who is actually a really sweet guy, who fucked up and knows it, still owns your heart. I know you're mad, but it's time to be honest. You love him..."

Genevieve fought back her tears, “Well, sometimes love isn’t enough, Pamela.”

The next day, Drake and Rashad walked into Liam's office. He finished his phone call and hung up. “The girls will be landing shortly. I sent a car to wait for them,” Liam gave Rashad a compassionate smile. “She could have changed her mind. She might be on the plane, Rashad…”

Rashad gave him an unconvincing nod. Even Drake had simmered down and started to feel bad for him. A little while later, they saw the black SUV pull up in front of the palace. The three men went outside and watched the driver open the rear passenger door. Pam, Anitah and Brad exited the vehicle. Liam and Drake greeted their wives as Rashad stared at the open door. Rashad’s heart broke when he watched the driver push it shut. She didn't come back with them.

His voice cracked as he spoke, “Welcome home, Pam, Anitah. I’m going to head out…” He wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek. Pam and Anitah gave him a sympathetic smile.

After he got into his car, another black SUV pulled up blocking him in his parking spot. He groaned, knowing he was stuck until the vehicle moved. Looking through his rearview mirror, he watched the driver get out and open the rear door. When the door shut, he saw her. He turned around in his seat and looked out of the rear windshield to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. He fumbled with the door handle and got out of his car. There she was, standing in front of him.

“You...came back…” He took a few tentative steps towards her. She smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks, “No, I came home.”

He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. Unable to hold back his emotions, he broke down crying. She held him tightly as she sobbed in his arms.

“God, I missed you. I love you, Gen. I will spend every single day showing you how sorry I am and how much I love you. Your happiness will always come before anyone or anything. I can't live without you.”

“I missed you too, and I love you so much, Rashad. But we need to talk. We have a lot to work on...together...” she managed to say through sobs.

“Whatever it takes, sweetheart. I just never want to be without you...ever again,” He replied wiping the tears from her face.

“Oh my god! Kiss her already!” Anitah shouted.

The pair turned to their friends. Liam and Drake were grinning from ear to ear while Pam and Anitah were crying. She smiled up at him, and he leaned down capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. She closed her eyes relishing the feeling of his lips on hers.

After they broke apart, Rashad walked up to Anitah and Pam, “You guys put me through the ringer...but thank you for being such good friends to her, and having her back when I didn’t.” The two women threw their arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. “We forgive you, cinnamon roll!”

“Let's go home,” Rashad grabbed Genevieve’s hand and led her towards his car.

A Few Weeks Later…

Rashad and Genevieve were hosting dinner in Domvallier. The friends were laughing and talking during their meal. Demetrius walked in with an envelope in his hand, “Rashad, son, what is this bill from Chicago?”

Thinking it was a bill from the hotel from when threw his phone, he took the paper from his father. “This is a bill for damage to two apartments in Evanston. This must be a mistake.”

Anitah was drinking her water when she choked on it causing her to spit it out. Pam tucked her lips between her teeth to keep from laughing. Genevieve noticed the two women turning red, “Oh my god! You two broke that stuff in those apartments so I wouldn't sign the lease?”

Rashad questioned her, “What are you talking about, sweetie?”

“Before I decided to come home, I was looking at apartments. In one of them the light fixture ‘fell’ from the ceiling, and in another there was a huge crack in the wall.” Genevieve snorted, “And then you told them to bill Rashad? That's brilliant!”

The three women burst out laughing while Liam glared at Anitah. “You're welcome, Rashad! You're welcome.” Anitah said through her laughter.

Rashad chuckled, “It's a small price to pay, I suppose. I'll take care of it, Father.”

[akamaiden]

HI MARIII, congrats on your 700 followers (sorry, i'm late af) ♡ may I get number 4 from sarcastic list and number 7 from nsfw? For ivar, yay

A/N: Okay this the sequence for this Drabble. Also, italic means flashback. 

Pairing: Ivar x Reader (platonic). 

Warnings: Ivar gets what he deserves.

Words: 1098.

You were walking around the streets of Kattegat, you had some things to do before you get some rest. 

Raids were what get you living and everything but settling down after the raids was so good as going on one. 

You went to the blacksmith to order some new daggers and you talked with him for some time. 

When you leave him you saw Ivar standing against to the wall looking at you. You had two options talk to him or ignore him, you chose the last option. You were almost leaving him behind when he grabbed you by your arm and slammed you against the wall.

“What the actual fuck?” you groaned.

“I want to talk to you,” Ivar said.

“I don't have nothing to talk to you, Ivar,” you said. 

“So my brother fucking you is nothing?” he asked.

“This is none of your business,” you said. 

“I thought you loved me. Good way to show your love, fucking my brother,” he said.

“Are you even hearing yourself? You are married! Remember when I said what I felt for you? You said that you didn't feel the same and you'd marry that stupid slave,” you said.

“Freydis. Her name is-”

“I don't give a fuck about her name! Fuck you, Ivar! I share my body with who I want and you have no right to say a shit about it!” you said with your voice trembling. 

You and Ivar used to be best friends and he was the first man that you loved and for some time you really believed that you and him will ended up marrying and having at least four kids.

But when he became the leader of the Great Heathen Army everything changed. He wasn't your best friend anymore, he didn't accept anyone's suggestions, he was rude and sometimes even cruel with his own people. 

And obviously he had a woman at his side, or his lap. A stupid girl that used to be a slave. You always felt that had something wrong with her. 

You even tried to stop Ivar from marrying her but it was pointless. He used to think with his dick when it becomes to her.

You tried everything, you even confessed your feelings for him. 

“I've always loved you and I always will. Please, don't marry her. Don't hurt me like this,” you said to him.

“I don't feel the same way... I see you like a sister, Y/N,” he said.

And since then everything changed. Ivar was no longer your best friend, he didn't even talked to you. It was like you didn't exist anymore. 

This was like six moons ago and the only thing that kept you alive was Hvitserk. He was such a sweetheart. Always worried about you, always doing everything that he could do to bring a smile to your face. 

One day you two drank a way too much in a feast and when he guided you to your house, he ended up staying and then you two had a really intense night together. 

It was your first time with a man and sincerely there was no better partner for this. Hvitserk made you feel loved and desired. 

Gods, you were slowly forgetting Ivar. When you were with Hvitserk you didn't even remember Ivar's existence. 

And probably because you're no longer available to give your life for the man in front of you, he was now requiring explanations from you.

You didn't notice exactly when you started crying you just saw Ivar getting closer to you, cleaning your face from the salty tears that kept rolling through your cheeks.

“I know you love me, Y/N. I'm the King, I can perfectly have two wifes. Would you like that? Finally being with the man that you love,” he said.

It took you some time to understanding what he was suggesting but when you finally did it, you shoved him off. 

You slammed him against the wall and pressed one of your new daggers on his neck.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you asked with your jaw clenched.

“C'mon, drop this dagger. We're in the middle of the street,” he said.

“Do you really think that I'd be your second wife? That I'd call your stupid queen ‘sister’?” you yelled at his face. 

“Okay, I got it. Now drop the fucking dagger,” he repeated.

“You know what? You're right,” you said giving him your prettiest smile.

You saw his eyes shinning with lust and happiness. He was really thinking that you'd accept be his second wife.

“I'm fucking with your brother. Gods, Hvitserk is the best man I could ask for. He makes me cum so many times in only one night, Ivar. And the things that he does with his tongue,” you said.

You saw the shine of his eyes disappear and he clenched his jaw.

“Do you really think that I'd leave him to be your second wife? Look at me Ivar, I'm the fiercest shieldmaiden you ever saw. I've killed so many times, I helped you to conquer things and territories and don't you dare try saying the opposite. I deserve more,” you said. 

“Once you were what I wanted the most. I'd do anything for you, anything Ivar. But you fell for the first cunt that you saw. You're pathetic,” you continued.

“We used to be friends,” he said.

“Yes and what you did? Exactly. You started ignoring me. It was like I didn't exist for you. Do you have any idea of how much I suffered? No, of course you don't,” you said.

“Y/N, I-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” You shouted. You took a long breath before continuing, “Now I moved on, and I'm so happy with your brother, Ivar. I love him. Gods, I love Hvitserk so much,” you said.

Actually, it was the first time you felt comfortable to say this but it was the truth. Finally you were feeling ready to tell exactly what your heart felt. 

“And I'm asking you to not come after me again saying this kind of bullshit. Respect your brother's happiness. It's all I ask,” you said.

He only nodded and you took the dagger from his neck and when you gave the first step his words made you froze.

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass,” he said.

“It's too late, I don't love you anymore. Actually I don't feel nothing else for you. It's like when it comes to you I'm an empty hole,” you said and started walking. This time he had no words for you.

Tags: @amour-quinn, @nothingeverdies, @ivarsshieldmadien, @mblaqgi, @ivarswickedqueen, @dangerousvikings, @laketaj24, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @cosmicalpaca99, @feistybaby, @tephi101, @rekdreams247, @jade770, @haliannej, @threewintersoldiers.