#sorry i'm irrational and anxious i've been acutely aware of how bizarre and abnormal i am with food ever since i could be aware of anything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anaalnathrakhs · 5 months ago

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it does feel fucking awful not being allowed to decide the use of my time. that i functionally have a curfew no matter what. i can play video games over disord with my friends, but god help if i'm going to miss dinner i'm an antisocial bitch and worrying everyone, and they'll tolerate it the everloving parents they are, but if i do it too often it's scary and unthinkable and worrying everyone.

#i was a very difficult child so now that i can sort of behave myself WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO ACT NORMAL #i owe that to my parents #''but we didn't mean it that way it's not the same''#okay so why do my likes and dislikes at 18 matter more than my needs at 12 #why did you spend my entire life explaining how much of a pain in the ass it was to live with a kid who ate a limited number of foods #then explained that it uwu weally weally huwt you uwu when i started fixing my own meals ''too young''#then expect me NOT to consider Eating Normal Things At Normal Times In A Normal Way a very important thing #sorry i'm irrational and anxious i've been acutely aware of how bizarre and abnormal i am with food ever since i could be aware of anything #partly because your standards make no fucking sense and i don't know what you're asking of me #there's no expectations but you're still disappointed with me no matter what #is that a way to live honestly #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

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