#sorry i wont call her ugly anymore.. sorry. love and peace

[autistickfigure]

lets all clap for ugly❗

[angstysebfan]

Ok a request? Lemme think! Hmmmm, ok. How about “reader and Seb have been dating for a while but Seb is getting a little distant. Reader overhears a conversation Seb has with Mackie about all these nasty things about her, it breaks reader’s heart and it makes her go home and move back to her old apartment. She confides in her best friend, Tom Hiddleston, and he helps her boost her self esteem and with having fun again, like a good friend. When Seb finds out, he becomes a jelly boi, confronts them when he sees pictures of them together and Hiddleston isn’t having it.” You can do whatever with the ending. I trust you ❤️

 --

Oh boy this one is going to hurt me. Even though a lot of people are mad at Seb and he has been acting like a douche canoe, I still love him...

--

Is It Too Late?

You lie on your bed staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. A lot of different things going through your mind at once, and all of them about your current relationship. You have been dating Sebastian for about 3 years, and for most of it, it has been absolutely amazing. He has an actor and have to travel the world to film, while you are just your everyday average girl, but you both always made it work. You met him through your best friend, Tom Hiddleston, who is also an actor.

You noticed over the last 5-6 months, Seb has been very distant. You don’t understand what happened, but you are worried that he might be losing interest in you, or cheating. I mean when you compare yourself to the women he had before, and the ones that throw themselves at him, you could understand why you don’t measure up. 

With a sigh, you get up from the bed to go in search of your boyfriend. Maybe he doesn’t realize what he is doing, and with a little heart to heart, things will get better, hopefully. You go to walk into his office when you hear him laugh and speak in hushed tones. You peek in and see that he is on the phone and go to step away when you overhear what he says, “I don’t know Anthony, I’m just over her. She is so needy and whiny. I mean if she was gorgeous I would ignore it, but she isn’t. I just don’t think I can handle this with her anymore, ya know?” he says.

You cover your mouth with your hand, in hopes of covering up the gasp. Tears immediately form in your eyes as you turn and run back into the bedroom. You force yourself to calm down after letting a few tears fall. You quickly grab your suitcase and start clearing your things out of the apartment. Seb continues his conversation, not realizing what is happening. Once you are done collecting everything, you put it all by the door for a quick escape.

You walk into the office, as Seb is still on the phone. You stand in front of him with your arms crossed, looking none too pleased. Seb looks at you with furrowed brows of confusion. “Hey Anthony, let me call you back,” he says before hanging up. “What’s wrong?” he asks innocently. You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes, “I just wanted to say goodbye,” you say.

His eyebrows shoot up in shock, “Goodbye? Goodbye as in you are going out and will be back later, or goodbye as in goodbye?” he asks standing up. You look into his blue eyes and see an expression you haven’t seen in awhile, nervousness. “Goodbye as in... I don’t know. I have to think about things and I think it’s better if I’m away from you,” you say.

You are proud of how strong your sounding, considering you are falling apart inside. Sebastian walks around his desk, “Is everything ok?” he asks softly, reaching out to you. You step away from his hand, which you see shocks him again. “I just think you need more than a needy, whiny ugly girlfriend, so maybe we should just call this what it is. You have been distant for awhile and it’s obvious you fell out of love with me, so I am giving you your out,” you say as tears form.

“I-- No, Y/N, wait please! Let me explain, please!” Seb pleads with you as you back away from him. “I heard you. I don’t need you to make up some stupid ass lie or excuse. I’m leaving,” you say as you turn around. Seb follows you out to his front door, begging you to stop and listen to him. You pick up your stuff and without sparing a glance you walk out of his apartment.

--

It’s been a few days since you went back to your old apartment. Everything that you brought from Sebastian’s continues to sit by your front door where you dropped them. He has called you multiple times, along with millions of texts, all that you have ignored. When your phone rings again, you go to throw it when you see it is not Sebastian who is calling, but Tom. 

“Tom?” you answer through your tears. It takes no time for him to come to your apartment and hold you while you cry. He packed a bag to stay with you for as long as you need him, and while you finally fall asleep, he starts to clean your apartment and order your favorite food. He calls Sebastian to give him a piece of his mind as well. The conversation is short and to the point, and it finally makes Sebastian stop reaching out to you.

Over the next several days, Tom holds you while you sleep, and constantly tells you how amazing, and beautiful you are. You have a hard time believing him, though, but he just keeps reassuring you. It takes awhile, but he finally gets you to smile and laugh again, which feels really good. Over time you both start going out into the world and having fun, whether at bars, clubs, museums, or anywhere else that will put a smile on your face. You are so grateful for your best friend.

--

Seb sighs as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration. it’s been too long since you left, and he hasn’t been able to reach you. He thought giving you some space might calm you down enough so that you can talk. The hurt he saw in your eyes haunts his dreams, more like nightmares. Every night it’s the same thing; you leaving without him explaining that he wasn’t you he was talking about. He knows he became distant, but it wasn’t for what you thought. When Tom called him screaming, he tried to again explain, but Tom wouldn’t hear him out. He has tried to call Tom again, but he won’t answer his calls either.

He looks at the picture on his phone of you and Tom dancing together at the club. You never wanted to go to the club when you were with him, at least he didn’t think you did. He looks at how happy Tom makes you, and he wonders if Tom is keeping you away from him so he can be with you. Does he hold you tightly at night. Does he kiss your soft lips every day? Does he tell you that he loves you more than anything?

Seb reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out the velvet box. The reason he was distant was because he didn’t want to give away the surprise. He wanted to marry you, but now he has no way of telling you. Sebastian sighs and looks at the diamond ring before standing up. “Fuck this, I’m not giving up without a fight!” He says to himself before walking out of his apartment toward yours.

When you opened the door to frantic knocks, your heart and stomach dropped. There is a very disheveled and out of breath Sebastian. “Y/N. I know you think I was talking about you, but I wasn’t. I’m so sorry I was distant from you, but it was because...” Sebastian got down on one knee causing you to gasp, “Y/N L/N I love you more than anything in the whole world. Will you please consider talking to me so I can explain and then hopefully marry me?” he asks as he shows you the big diamond.

At this point Tom walked into the room to see what was happening. “Let him have his say Y/N,” he says when he sees you hesitate. You turn and look at him for a moment before turning back toward Seb and nod. Sebastian released the breath he was holding and stood up, following you into your living room. He nods at Tom, who smirks and leaves you two alone.

“Seb, I know what I heard that day,” you say sadly, looking at your hands. Seb slowly put his hand on top of yours, seeing what your response was. When you didn’t pull back, he sat closer to you and continued to hold your hands, “Y/N, I know with me being distant, it sounded like I was talking about you, but I wasn’t. Anthony and I were talking about one of the crew on our show. She has a huge crush on me and is very needy and whiny around me. She tries to get my attention--” “So if she was gorgeous you would give her a chance?” you said sternly, interrupting him.

“No! That comment was a stupid inside joke that I regret immediately. She likes to tell everyone that she thinks everything is gorgeous, and she is gorgeous, so I said it to make fun of her. I want nothing to do with her. I only want you! I love you, Y/N! You’re it for me, baby! I want nothing more than to marry you and be with you forever,” he says. 

You are crying at this point, not sure who to believe. “Y/N...” you hear Tom say. You turn and look at him, “I spoke with Anthony and he confirmed everything Sebastian said,” he says. Seb looked at Tom with a relieved and appreciative smile. You look at Seb, “Ask me,” you say. Seb’s breath hitches, “Are-are you sure?” he asks. You nod and he laughs, again getting down on one knee.

“Y/N, will you please put us out of the misery I caused and marry me?” he asks. You look at him and a smile slowly makes its way to your lips.

“Yes.”

--

Hope you liked it. I played with different version of the ending or how I wanted Seb to act, and this is how it worked out. lol

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[neoniverse]

heal me. | chapter II

disclaimer: this series is a work of fiction. any businesses, events or incidents are products of my wide imagination. all of the character’s personality does not reflect and has nothing to do in real life.

warnings: smut, angst, usage of strong language, mentions of death, alcohol & drugs, cheating issues and lots of flashbacks (read each chapter carefully)

pairings: jung jaehyun x reader

a/n: unedited ;)

« CHAPTER I / CHAPTER III »

“Hey, you still there?”

“Who’s this?”

The other line silenced—a brief pause. I’m certain it’s not him.

“Jaehyun.” I froze in my spot. Holy crap.

“And what’s the bouquet for, Mr. Jung?” I don’t even recognize my own voice, I’m agitated, again.

“I just wanted to express my gratitude.” His voice is so low, I can feel the depths of it pulling me. He sounds so cozy—alluring, to be honest. My breathing is slowing, almost hitching. I’m abruptly aware Johnny is staring at me, brows furrowed, I dart to my swivel chair and turned it around.

“It’s not like I did something honorable.” Stay calm, Y/N. Breathe.

“Hmm. Well, fortunately, I’m certain you did.”

“Thank you for the roses, Mr. Jung.” I’m all trepidatious—my traitor heart is abnormally beating.

“The pleasure’s all mine.” Oh hell, I can visualize the enticing gleam in his dark brown eyes. How can he make such four words titillate? He hang up. I turned around again, phone in the chest and eyes closed.

“I’m assuming there’s a comeback, yes?”

“Words, Johnny.” I snap. He laughed as if I just told him a funny joke.

But me and Jaehyun again? To hell with that. My feelings are too fragile, that being with him could even crush my heart into thousands of pieces. That’s how fragile my whole system is. I will never forget the day he chose to cheat on me.

Loving someone is so shallow that it could bring pain because you have to sacrifice something, but it doesn’t have to be always painful. You should also learn how to love yourself.

When I left him, I thought things will go better. I looked desperate, finding for solace to everyone’s arms after I lost Jaehyun, tons of projects, my interest in doing things I like and my mother. Her death is something I will always look back on because I wasn’t with her. 

I lost her.

For the times that I also lost myself, Johnny had come to save my losing ass to the pit of darkness and loneliness. I’m so thankful for him even though he reminds me of Jaehyun.

I am restless that night, not paying attention and rolling in the sheets of my bed. Dreaming of something that will enliven myself and dark, deep unfathomed places. I woke up in the middle of the night, ended up watching the still, lit up busy city lights before crying myself back to sleep.

The first week of April went smooth and peaceful. I often see Jaehyun in the site but I decided to wait for him to leave so I could completely avoid him. Having Jaehyun close to me is something I never prayed for. I still hate his guts.

“How about we go to a nightclub after this and at least have some fun? You guys, especially Y/N, looks so exhausted as fuck.”

Johnny shouted in delight. “Damn, that’s what I’m talking about!”

Like what Architect Lee suggested, we went to a club that Johnny recommended. It was just a ten minute drive from the office.

“Ladies, this is my cousin Mark,” Johnny introduced the man who just came—probably in this twenties. His hair is ruffled jet black and he’s wearing white button-down dress shirt, sleeves are rolled up three-fourth. “Mark, this is Y/N, Seolhee and Rosé.”

“Architect Rosé Park.”

“Hi! I’m Architect Seolhee Lee!”

Mark extends his hand so I immediately placed my hand in his. He smiled and sat in the empty space of the black leather couch beside me.

Rosé offered me a shot of foreign alcohol, Jägermeister. She seems to be a party girl who knows a lot of things in alcoholic beverages. I drink, but I have to tolerate myself. For the last time I was drunk, I ended up sleeping in my bathtub because I kept going back to the bathroom.

We ended up finishing one bottle of Jägermeister and JD and two bottles of vodka before finding ourselves on the dance floor. The colorful lights strobed with the blasting music. I danced and danced until I felt someone staring at me.

I looked around to find the set of eyes who has been observing my every move, grind, and ruffling of hair. As I try to look for them on the dance floor, my eyes accidentally stayed in the second floor. I saw Jaehyun sitting in the black velvet couch, eyeing me as if I’m his prey. He drank the dark-colored liquid that was in his glass.

I rubbed my eyes and tried to look for him, again. He wasn’t there anymore.

The fuck?

“Y/N! Is that you?”

I promptly looked behind me and saw an unfamiliar person in front of me. My brows furrowed for a moment.

“Oh my god,” I exclaimed before hugging him. “Madexeus!”

He chuckled and tightened the hug. We moved away from the dance floor to sit on the high chairs placed before the bartender’s counter.

“2 glasses of my regular, please,” He told the bartender before looking at me. “Holy shit. Is that really you?”

I shrugged. “How long have you been here? It literally felt like ages since I last saw you.”

“Just came here for a short visit, though.” He passed a glass to me. “And I also heard what happened to your mother. I’m sorry.”

I gave him a short smile and drank the alcohol that felt like thousands of knives in my throat. The pain of losing my own mother is still in my heart, stabbed like a poisonous dagger.

“Thanks. I’m fine,” I lied. “It has been two years, already, Xeus. There’s no way I could never get over to that.”

“What are you doing for living now? Am I free to call you Doctor Y/N now?”

“Oh, that. I didn’t pursue it anymore. I’m an Engineer now, though!”

I’ll try to be happy, at least for my mother and not for anybody else.

“Well, are you sti-”

I was about to talk when someone gracefully dragged me from my seat. He lifted me up and placed my stomach to his shoulder like I’m a sack.

“What the fuck? Help!” I shouted and averted his hands from holding my legs in place.

“Shut your ass up or I will spank that.”

The voice is so manly, authoritative and dominant. There’s only one person I know who is pretty much likely to act like that. He opened the shotgun seat’s door before carefully putting me inside. I pushed myself more to the side of the door.

When he entered the car, we fell silent.

“Jaehyun, just bring me back insi-”

“No and I wont.”

“Why did you dragged me just like that, then?!”

“Who are you with? That ugly ass man or my cousin Johnny again?”

His left hand gripped the steering wheel while the other hand is behind my headrest. Jaehyun revived the engine before drifting away from the club’s valet parking. I looked at the buildings outside.

“Does it matter to you if I’m going out with one of them?” I softly whispered.

His eyes focused on the road.

“Are you avoiding me?” He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, you’re avoiding me.”

I remained my eyes to the buildings outside until Jaehyun pulled up somewhere unbeknownst to me. He removed his seat belt and went out. I rolled my eyes before following him.

He sat on the hood of the car and slid his hands to the pockets of his black slacks. I sat beside him, admiring the view of city lights.

“That night..” He heaved a deep sigh. “I was drugged by Chaewon. That’s why I wasn’t able to remember everything when you asked me.”

I remained silent. 

Speechless.

“When.. did you know about this?” I asked, still looking straight at the view.

“A week after you moved out and left me alone, broken.”

He knew and he didn’t even bother to tell me even a single detail about it.

“Chaewon is my old secretary’s sister. I was out with my brother that time when my secretary was with her. She saw me and greeted us. Apparently, she knew me already that time but acted like she didn’t. I don’t remember the other things that happened after that. All I know is she’s the one who drugged me.” 

Jaehyun stared at me and I locked gazes with him.

“I didn’t bother telling you since you already had Johnny beside you. I also heard from him that you lost your interest in Engineering when your mother died that’s why I asked him to make you back on track again. Because I know I won’t be able to do so.”

Fresh hot tears slowly streamed down to my cheeks, which made my heart clenched. I couldn’t stop the tremendous pain I’m feeling.

“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He looked away, realizing what I said before moving closer to me. “Shh. Hey, love, it’s alright.”

“Jae, I’m sorry,” I said, softly. He cupped my face to wipe the tears.

Jaehyun didn’t answer. Instead, he held my head and pulled me. Making me lean on his chest. I bit my lower lip to cease my loud sobs.

That same night, Jaehyun drove me back to my penthouse. I dozed myself to sleep so I could at least escape from reality. The day after next, I visited the site to check the supplies if we ran out of something.

“Excuse me. Are you Engineer L/N?”

I looked behind me to see who called me when a man in dark blue button-down dress shirt, red necktie and dark blue slacks appeared in front of me.

“Yes, and you are?”

“Taeyong. May I ask if Jaehyun Jung is here?”

Jaehyun?

“He’s not yet here. Jaehyun often goes here at around 4 pm.” I answered while closing the folder I’m holding.

“Oh, yeah? Thank you, gorgeous.”

“Wait! Are you Jaehyun’s cousin? I can contact him if you want.”

He turned around again and removed his wayfarers.

“I’m his brother, Taeyong.” He winked. “It’s already quarter to four, maybe I could stay and wait for him here?”

I led him towards the office. When I opened the door, Johnny was scanning to some paperworks.

“Come on. It’s hot there, we have AC inside.”

He entered the room and silently sat on the black couch beside Johnny’s desk.

“Jae-” Johnny stopped. “Holy fuck, man!”

The Taeyong guy chuckled. “I knew you would be here, John. What’s up?”

Johnny sat on the single couch, still surprised.

“I’ll just go outside.”

I immediately went out afterwards. If he is Jaehyun’s brother, how come I haven’t seen him before?

“Hey.”

I almost fell on my feet when I heard Jaehyun spoke. He laughed. He was wearing a white button-down shirt, open at the collar and sleeves are rolled up, and gray slacks. His gray coat is hanging on his arm. 

“Your brother’s inside,” I said, softly. His brows furrowed.

“My what?”

“Taeyong? Your brother?”

His jaw clenched and instantly opened the office door.

I stood behind Jaehyun and saw his brother grinning widely.

“Oh. Hey there, brother. Miss me?”

“What are you doing here?” Jaehyun authoritative asked. What’s with them?

He held my hand and pulled me closer to him.

“Woah. I won’t steal your lady. Right, gorgeous?” Taeyong looked at me. “Anyway, since you’re already here, come home tonight. Father’s asking for your presence at the family dinner.”

Jaehyun scoffed. “And if I won’t show up?”

“Oh, you would absolutely want to, dear brother.”

Taeyong went outside and walked towards his orange Lamborghini. Jaehyun made his way to his black Tesla and they both drove away from the site.

“What’s with them?” I asked Johnny. He just shrugged.

Another week has passed when I was invited to a charity event in Paris. I wore a simple maroon satin slip dress that ended just one inch below my knees and hugged my body well. Then I let my ash brown soft wavy hair down.

The whole event was so boring, it was all about business and that’s not even my field. I looked at the guests and all of them are known for being wealthy and leading capitals of fiscals or law firms. If not, most of them are either CEO or stockholders.

I finished the last faint brown-colored liquid in my wine flute in just one drink and stood up so I could leave the place quietly. I was about to exit peacefully when I bumped into someone’s shoulder, making me almost stumble on my own feet.

“We met again, gorgeous.”

I looked up to face the person and saw a familiar face— the owner of same playful grin.

“Allow me to introduce myself again and make up for my first bad impression to you,” He offered his right hand. “I’m Taeyong Lee.”

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Chapter 35: I Could Never Hate You (PART 1)

SIIIIIIIIIGH!..........

 Once again work has sapped me of all of my energy and creativity and has made me a literal zombie. Twelve hour shifts will do that to you. The good news is in a few weeks my work will go back to eight hours shifts so maybe I wont be so drained. It may not seem like a big difference but let me assure you: Those four extra hours a day make all the difference in the world! 

But until the new chapter is finished I figured I would post the first part of it. It’s not much, but it includes an old friend. Hopefully I’ll finish the chapter soon, but I can’t make any promises.

Chapter 35: I Could Never Hate You (PART 1)

                 “This now concludes your Limbo experience with your loved one in mortal peril. Welcome back to the Land of the Dead. Please remain seated until your assigned attendant can safely remove your Limbo Lenses and motion gloves.”

               With a flick of his wrist old man Chicharrón flung away the prepared pamphlet of sayings, that he really should have memorized by now after all these years but refused to do it purely out of spite, onto his desk and with a grunt hopped off his chair and out of the office. Grumbling quietly to himself he made his way over to the little girl sitting on the oversized lounge chair with that stupid contraption wrapped around her head and gloves covering her hands. ‘Very advanced technology’ some of the higher ups had told him when the Limbo Lenses were first produced. ‘We can now make the transition from life to death much faster for those stuck in Limbo. And make it peaceful too’

Advanced? Pah. Nothing advanced about ugly purple oven mitts with a thousand wires coming out the ends and what looked like lit up aviator goggles with five-foot-long antennae wobbling back and forth. It was ridiculous looking and very complicated to start up and shut down. After performing quite a few Limbo runs with other skeletons Chich should have now been able to do it in his sleep without having to consult the manual every time. But he refused to learn it. Again, out of spite.

With a few knob twists and buttons pushed steam was let out of the goggles, letting Chich safely remove them from his client. The little girl blinked rapidly, letting her eyes adjust to the natural light, while he also slipped the gloves off her hands. She clenched her phalanges thoughtfully as she stared at them, as if coming down back from reality. They were not soft light anymore, but healthy white bones. With a sigh she looked up at Chich, and flinched back at his glare.

“What?”

“What were you told to do?” Chich asked with his arms crossed as he glared at her.

“Uh…”

With a huff he turned to stomp back into his office, grab something and came back in, waving a piece of paper. “Leticia Rivera. When you signed out the forms letting you progress into Limbo, you specifically checked the LIFE box. That is to say you were going to coax your father back into the Land of the Living so he can live out his happy little life. And what were the specifications of going the life route?”

“Um…”

“Vagueness. You were told to be as vague as possible. No clues about who you are, what you want, not even if you were male or female. Just a non-threatening, anonymous entity to lead Héctor Rivera back to life. And exactly what did you say to him?”

Leti looked down at her hands sheepishly, picking at a ridge in her knuckle joint, and softly mumbled, “Feel better Papá?”

“Papá! Exactamente!” Chich paced in front of Leti and continued to grumble. “If you had checked the DEATH box, you could have called him Papá, Papi, Papita, I don’t care. But you checked LIFE. Unless he has more dead kids that I’m not aware of he would have known it was you, and would have been pulled into the Land of the Dead, which means I’d have to refile the paperwork and probably get a citation for poor Limbo management skills again. Then I’d have to go to that stupid retraining seminar and-”

“What does it matter?”

A small, teary voice interrupted Chich’s little tirade. He turned sharply towards the girl to chastise her, but his brows shot up in alarm. Leti’s mouth was in a thin trembling line and her eyes were glossy with unshed tears as she hugged herself. The angry words that had been flowing freely out of his mouth before were now stuck in his throat as he watched the little girl slightly curl forward with a sniffle.

“He won’t remember anything that happens, right? It doesn’t matter what I said. I just wanted to… somehow show him that he was safe, that he shouldn’t be afraid. That I lo… love him so much.” And much to the old skeleton’s horror, Leti covered her face with her hands and started to cry like a child.

Because that’s what she was. Not some absent-minded simpleton who barely skimmed through the instruction manual and promptly forgot the rules.

She was a child, separated from her father, who just wanted to speak to him one last time.

Mierda.

As Leti continued to gently weep, Chich made a quick dash to his office and pulled out his metal lunch kit. Flipping it open he tossed aside the sandwich and pulled out a bottle of his favorite apple soda and a freshly baked concha wrapped in a napkin. His non-existent gut clenched at the thought of losing his dessert, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Making his way back to Leta, he loudly clunked the bottle on the table next to her. Startled, the little skeleton looked up and saw the snacks sitting next to her, then looked at Chich with confusion.

“Uh… p-please remain seated for at least ten minutes after the removal of your Limbo Lenses and gloves.” Chich stammered as he tried to come up with what he hoped was legit sounding instructions off the top of his head. “Transferring from light-ball to bone can lead to some troubling side effects, including dizziness, nausea, vomiting-”

“But skeletons can’t vom-”

“Ah you’d think that, si?” Chich chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his neck. “W-well… That’s true for normal skeletons! But when you turn into a ball of light it uh-… messes with all the bone molecules and particles and monocles… that can cause physical ailments that mimic real life illnesses. Very scientific stuff, you wouldn’t understand. But anyway, to combat this, the Department of Family Reunions offers you these complimentary snacks to aid you in your recovery.”

Leti looked at the soda and pan dulce morosely for a bit and sniffled. “I don’t feel sick. I don’t need it.”

“I am not legally allowed to let you leave without eating something. Stupid rules, I know, but trust me it will make you feel better. Here, I’ll even open the bottle for you.”

Taking the bottle from the table he jammed the mouth of it into his eye socket and squinted down hard. With a jerk he popped the cap of the bottle off, letting it fall and clatter into his skull. As he handed the bottle back to Leti he tilted his head back and spit the cap into the air, catching it neatly between two fingers.

“Woah!” Leti exclaimed as she took the soda. “I didn’t know we could do that!”

Chich chuckled as he tossed the cap into the trash bin. “When you’ve been dead as long as me you learn to get creative with your bones. Helps pass the time. Now eat up.”

They sat there quietly for a few minutes while Leti slowly ate the concha. Her amazement at Chich’s trick faded quickly and her sadness returned, making each bite look painful as she swallowed. Chich twiddled his thumbs as he watched her, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to find something else to say to make her feel better. As he racked his brain trying to think of something, Leti again spoke up.

“I’m sorry.”

Chich blinked at her in confusion. “Que?”

Leti mumbled around the lip of the bottle. “I’m sorry I broke the rules. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“Aw.” Chich pulled the green visor from the top of his head and rubbed awkwardly on his bald skull. “You didn’t get me in trouble, and you didn’t break the rules. Look chica: the thing about viejos like me is… We feel that we’ve earned the right to be cantankerous and ornery with people. So, if any little thing bugs us, we feel that its within our rights to blow it way out of proportion. But I shouldn’t have lost my temper at a kid. And for that I’m sorry.”

Leti nodded slowly at the apology, but still looked to down-hearted for Chich’s liking. With a smile he leaned over to her. “For the record I think you did a good thing.”

Leti looked up at him. “I did?”

“Si.” Chich crossed his arms and leant back in his chair. “Most kids would want to have their parents join them in death as soon as possible. But not you. And not because you don’t love your parents, it’s because that you do. You love them enough to let them live out their natural lives. When you checked the LIFE box I was very surprised and impressed. Shows that you’re very mature.”

Leti smiled faintly at the praise. “My little brother needs his Papá.”

Chich nodded sagely, then chuckled a little to himself. “Though you did beat your Papá up, so you’re not that mature.”

Leti scoffed at him and pouted. “I didn’t beat him up! I simply… knocked some sense into him. You don’t know what he’s like. He’s pretty dense! Do you know what happened on Dia de Muertos three years ago?”

They chatted for a few more minutes, laughing at stories while Leti finished eating and Chich finished the paperwork. Once Leti signed the last form she drained the apple soda to the last drop and handed Chich the bottle.

“Gracias for the snack, Señor Chicharrón. It did help after all. All of my… monocles are in perfect working order.” She said with a smirk as she formed a circle with her fingers and held it up to her eye.

Ah, she figured it out.

“Hmmph,” Chich grunted and snatched the bottle to toss it in the bin. “You’re pretty smart for a kid.”

Leti puffed out her chest. “Well, technically I am twenty years old.”

Chich sneered. “Oh ho ho! Such a wealth of wisdom you must have then.” With a final signature he put the last paper in the outgoing folder and closed it up. “Okay chica, you’re all finished. Want me to call your abuelos to let them know you’re done?”

“Nah, they already know I’m going to Shantytown afterwards.”

Chich’s eyebrows shot up again at that. “Shantytown?”

“Si!” Leti nodded happily. “I’ve gotta go tell Nieve all about what I saw and what I did. I just know she’ll be dying to know! Or- well- you know what I mean. Adios!” A spring back in her step she made her way out the door and down the hallway. Before Chich could settle back down he heard the screech of shoes on the linoleum floor and Leti was back in the doorway. “Oh! And you’ll let me know when Tio Nesto is here?”

Chich waved her off. “Once he’s in the ground we’ll let you know, don’t worry. Go on now.”

“Great! Gracias Señor Chicharrón!” With one last smile Leti dashed out the door, leaving Chich in the peace and quiet of his office.

“Weird kid.” Chich said with a shake of his head as he pulled a newspaper out of his desk. “Who in their right mind would want to go to Shantytown?” As he settled down for his afternoon break with his paper and his lunch- now sans dessert- Chich couldn’t help but smile.

Weird kid indeed.

But very sweet too.

[haramheathen]

It’s just so upsetting because I grew up with a traumatic childhood with a lot of neglect. If I was unwell or injured my parents never always bothered to get me seen by a doctor, and would treat it as if i’m a burden. They never played with me, I would sit alone in one spot for hours. They never really hugged me or told me they loved me or care about me. I was deprived of food, attention, love. care. I was physically hit, verbally and mentally/emotionally abused, constantly yelled at, called names, sworn at, made to feel worthless, ugly, my parents would call me fat, made me feel unlovable, my mum would say she wished I never existed, that someone would kidnap me, that she should have killed me when I was a baby, tell me I look horrible ect. She intentionally made up lies about me being a difficult child to make her family feel sorry for her and resent and bully me. I always felt physically unsafe in her presence. I would have major anxiety during school holidays being alone at home with her not knowing what would happen and if I would get abused or hit. My dad never really did anything to help me, at times would just chime in and just pretended nothing was wrong and would make it out that it was all in my head because it was easier for him to pretend I wasn’t being treated like shit than do anything about it. I could go on..

So when I was around 17/18 and under mental health I was encouraged to leave home to get away because i was incredibly suicidal and I had no where to go so I went to stay with my grandparents, I always liked going there as a kid to get away from my mum/home. But this place hasn’t been any better. I mean no one has physically hit me but it’s not a healthy environment either. I don’t even talk to my grandparents or uncle anymore because they have no respect for me as a person and all they do is scream and fight and I just can’t cope with it anymore so I just decided to stop talking to all of them because that’s what I had to do to look after my own mental health. I have to everyday listen to them scream, cry and fight and treat each other like dirt because that’s all they know. I gave up trying to make peace, breaking up arguments, diffusing situations because it never got anywhere and they just treated me worse.

Everyday I have to listen to them yell at each other, my grandparents screaming and crying and wishing for death, my uncle screaming in anger and yelling at them, my dad screaming and going nuts and my aunt getting dragged into it all and it brings me down so much. Even though whenever i’m here I have headphones and music blasting I can still hear it and it sets my ptsd off so bad I get extreme anxiety that gets to me mentally and physically. I’m just finding it really hard to cope. I keep telling myself that i’m okay and that things will be okay even if they aren’t and wont and even though i’m not okay most of the time. I feel like I have to keep convincing myself I am because if I don’t I will crumble there’s not 1 person in the world who will be here to pick me up and make sure I’m okay and take care of me, so i have to be that person to look out for myself and it’s so hard when you’ve already been through so much and it’s like every single day is a fight, I have so much hope that one day I will get away from all of this and be loved and treated well by people, that one day I will be cared about and feel emotionally and physically safe somewhere and that I’d know what it’s like to feel ‘normal’ that bit of hope is all I have left in life to hold on to. I really really hope it works out for me in the future because everyday is so hard.