#sorry i posted this from the bus so its a little rushed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mc-i-r · 1 year ago

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Disposable Heroes

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four Ao3

A/N: Guys, I’m so sorry for the late update! Life has been crazy for me the past couple weeks but I hope that I can get back to writing more regularly. This chapter is the well-awaited Eddie pov, as well as a ton of backstory for him that I didn’t really plan on but it just kinda came out. This chapter is kinda rushed, I’m gonna be honest, but I wanted to get it out to you guys as soon as possible since its been awhile. There are gonna be some major warnings here so I’ll post them below. Take care of yourselves and stay safe, now enjoy!

Tw: homophobia, homophobic language, child abuse, domestic violence, referenced drug use, Eddie being incredibly gay

———

It’s a muggy Sunday morning, the summer sun burning through the last vestiges of chilled night air and frosted dewdrops as it rises from its slumber. Like the sun, Eddie rises as well. However, it’s with much less fanfare and grace due to the obnoxious pounding at his front door.

He groans dramatically, shoving his face in his pillow and willing whoever the fuck decided to bother him at—he glances at his alarm clock on the other side of the room, squinting to read the numbers—nine in the morning to go away. His wish must have pissed off some universal god because the knocking only gets louder, making the window above his desk rattle with every shake of the door.

With a sigh big enough to rival the windy intro of “Holy Diver”, he pulls himself to the door in a zombie-like state. Movements sluggish from his interrupted sleep, he misses the doorknob twice before finally turning it, throwing it open with newfound strength to find one Robin Buckley in all her glory. Her fist is raised and ready to knock again, her face the epitome of righteous fury as she glares at him.

“Uh, hey Buck. Whatcha doi—“ he begins, only to be interrupted by Robin shoving past him and barging into the trailer. He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face and pulling on his hair slightly before shutting the door.

Kids and their manners nowadays.

“Yeah, sure, come on in. Totally fine. I wasn’t sleeping or anything, noooo,” he says to himself before turning to face his intruder. Whatever Buckley is upset about seems serious, and from the icy look she’s giving him it also seems like it’s his fault. Her hands are on her hips like she’s in a Steve Harrington impersonation contest and plans on taking home a first place prize. Something in him squirms at the thought.

But, he is nothing if not a performer. So, of course, he puts on a show.

“Lady Buckley,” he declares in a posh British accent, bowing deeply with a flourish on his arm. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company on this fine morning?”

He’s expecting a fond eye roll, or a laugh, or huff, or something. He gets silence.

“Cut the bullshit, Eddie. We need to talk about Steve,” she demands.

Steve… Now isn’t that an interesting subject?

Now, Eddie has always been different. He was loud, and jumpy, and fidgety, and the other kids never wanted to be friends with him because they were scared. He was always covered in dirt, always barefoot because he either forgot to put on shoes or the ones he had were too small for his ever-changing feet. He would talk to himself, mutter little reminders under his breath or work through the questions plaguing his mind aloud because he just functioned better that way.

Then, at eleven, he found out just how different he really was. He was outside during recess when he fell off the monkey bars and scraped his hands and knees. He huddled on the ground, tears falling down his small cheeks because it hurt and his wounds felt like they were throbbing. Then a boy, James, ran up to him and asked him if he was okay. James had stark blond hair, a face full of freckles, and bright green eyes. He looked so concerned for Eddie, and was gentle when he picked up one of his hands to inspect the cuts littered there. It was that gentle touch that elicited a flutter of butterflies in his stomach, and ever since then Eddie knew.

When he had gotten home to the trailer that day, he felt confused. Other people in his class were constantly talking about who they “liked”; boys liking girls and girls liking boys. About how they would get all nervous around their crushes, and Eddie realized he had never felt that before. All of the girls in his class were just… girls to him. They never gave him that fluttery feeling James had. But… no one ever talked about boys liking boys. No one ever said if it was okay, so Eddie thought it must not be. That boys liking boys wasn’t okay. That he wasn’t okay.

It took awhile, but he finally confessed to Wayne that he liked boys, that he got all the little butterflies that boys were supposed to get about girls. Wayne shook his head and told him that he could feel butterflies for anyone he pleased, as long as they made him happy. They both cried that night, and ended up in a hug so tight they nearly fused together.

Since then, Eddie’s come to accept the fact that he’s gay. Has added it to his whole anti-conformist persona, even. So when high school hit he let himself finally be free. He joined Hellfire club, made friends with the upperclassmen who ran it, and learned all the intricacies of D&D that he never imagined he would. After two years, he met Gareth and Jeff who joined Hellfire much in the way he did. Then, Grant joined halfway through Eddie’s junior year and he quickly recruited him as well. He found his friends, his people, and he finally let himself be himself around them.

He told them he was gay after a long session of lazily practicing in Gareth’s garage and smoking, the weed having loosened both his limbs and his lips. They were all extremely chill with it, even after the weed had worn off. That, however, didn’t exempt them from making fun of him though.

Eddie was loitering in the hallway after school, waiting on Gareth to finish up a quiz he missed the week prior, when none other than Steve Harrington walked out of the pool room in nothing but those little speedos that leave zero to the imagination. Seriously, all those girls were right, holy shit. After he picked his jaw up off the floor, he noticed Steve was looking at him with that adorable little confused puppy look before a god damned smirk fell across his face. Eddie’s face, he knew, had to rival that of a Victorian nobleman fawning over a sliver of pale skin shown by a lady across the room with her face hidden by an elaborate fan because he was literally drooling for the man in front of him.

It got considerably worse when Steve leaned down to drink from a nearby water fountain, making Eddie’s mouth go completely dry with this blatant offering of ass right in his face. In hindsight, it might not have been an offering, per say, but it was definitely there and Eddie was definitely staring. So it really wasn’t a surprise that he jumped when Gareth tapped his shoulder, Eddie having not heard him come up behind him, and he turned on his heel so fast he’s surprised he didn’t get whiplash.

“Dude, you good?” Gareth asked. Eddie opened his mouth, squeaked out, “I’m fine” and immediately felt his face go up in flames. Gareth glanced over Eddie’s shoulder and he could see in slow motion the series of thoughts that crossed his mind. Gareth went from concerned to confused to understanding to smug so fast it was almost comical. When their eyes met, Eddie’s went wide.

“Don’t you dare say a word,” he hissed, and the smug look only intensified.

Once they got to his van, Gareth immediately rounded on him.

“Seriously? Steve Harrington?” Gareth teased. “Of all people, it had to be that douche?”

Eddie groaned and clenched his eyes shut. “I know, Garebear, now shut up before I push you out of the van.”

Of course, news about his little crush spread around his friend group like wildfire, and soon enough he was being teased by them relentlessly. Eddie knew his crush wouldn’t get very far, Steve was very clearly straight and in a happy relationship with Nancy Wheeler of all people. Still, Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about that smirk.

Just as his crush began to fade away, Steve showed up to school with a busted face and eye bags deep enough to rival shitty vampire Halloween make-up from a toddlers costume contest. Feelings came rushing back, the intense need to protect, to find out what happened and get justice for that pretty face.

Then it kept happening, and Steve showed up to school with a beat up face yet again. However, judging by his stumbling and droopy eyes, it came with a concussion this time. Just when Eddie was trying to figure out who did it, Billy Hargrove came stalking through the empty halls and all attention was focused on his scabbed knuckles. On the hungry glare he sent Steve’s way. On the way Steve shrank back a little on instinct.

And Eddie… Eddie just couldn’t leave well enough alone, now could he?

He walked up to Steve, brows furrowed. “Harrington?”

Harrington didn’t turn, eyes still focused on the spot where Billy had been before. Eddie tapped his shoulder. “Steve?”

He jumped that time, like Eddie had actually hit him, and spun to face him. Up close, his face looked a hell of a lot worse and Eddie had to suppress a wince just looking at him. Steve looked at him confused, though it was hard to tell between the swelling and assortment of bandages on his face.

“…Munson?” Steve began. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come up.”

He said it flippantly, with a wave of his hand towards his left ear like that explained everything. It didn’t, but Eddie felt like it wasn’t his place to push.

“You good, man? You look like you got in a fight with a dump truck and lost,” Eddie said. “Badly.”

He expected Steve to scoff and roll his eyes, push past him and hit his shoulder too hard to be an accident. He expected him to spit some barb and walk away, to leave Eddie there in the hallway alone. None of that happened, though.

Instead, Steve smiled. A little self-deprecating, but a smile nonetheless. He huffed a laugh.

“Make it a supercharged dump truck and you’ve got it right,” Steve joked at his own expense. It resulted in a shocked laugh bursting from Eddie’s lips, which he immediately stopped by smacking a hand over his mouth.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, pulling his hand away. “That’s not funny. I mean… your joke was, just not,”—he gestured to Steve’s… everything—“this.”

“It’s okay man, I know what you meant,” Steve said sincerely and Eddie doubted why he was ever called King Steve. The person who stood in front of him was the furthest thing from what those jocks supposedly worshiped that Eddie had to hide another bubble of laughter.

“Seriously, dude, did you even go to a doctor?” Eddie asked, and at Steve’s wince he knew the answer. He rolled his eyes and slung an arm around his shoulders, careful not to land too hard in case he was bruised there too, and led him down the hallway towards the nurse’s station.

“Uh,” Steve began. “Where are we going?”

“The nurse,” he explained. “Figured a look wouldn’t hurt, right?”

Steve’s shoulders relaxed a little under his arm, and Eddie decided to focus on him during their walk down the empty hallway. He noticed the way his hair bounced a little with every step, how a couple strands were threatening to fall from their perfectly coiffed positions. He noticed his moles and freckles, how he had a smattering of faint ones all over his face from time in the sun. He noticed how his nose was a little crooked now, with a bump on the bridge that wasn’t there before the weekend. He noticed how pretty his eyes were, with at least three different shades of brown all swirled together like melted chocolate with flecks of forest green nestled in the folds.

He noticed that Steve was looking at him.

They had come to a stop in front of the nurse, yet Eddie’s arm was still over his shoulders. He quickly retracted it, but Steve didn’t move away and neither did he.

“Well, this is your stop,” Eddie nearly whispered out. Steve smiled, just a small quirk of his lips, and his eyes flitted across Eddie’s face.

“Thanks, Eddie,” he started. Steve took a step backwards toward the station and did a little wave with his fingers that had no right being as endearing as it was. “See you around.”

With that, he disappeared behind the thick mahogany door and Eddie was left there alone, face full of flames and smiling like he was in fucking love with the guy.

Fuck, maybe he was a little bit in love with the guy.

That feeling didn’t waver, not even after seeing him in a skimpy sailor uniform as he scooped overpriced ice cream for toddlers in the Mall. Or, when he was pinning him to the rickety wall of the boathouse he was hiding in after seeing Chrissy murdered in front of him by some freaky wizard from an alternate dimension with a broken bottle to his beautifully freckled throat.

That feeling greatly intensified when he saw Steve take an honest to god bite out of a demonic bat and spit the flesh and blood out on the dried lakebed in the previously mentioned alternate dimension.

And, really, you can’t blame him for falling all the way when he found out exactly who dragged his half-dead body out of hell and saved his life.

So yeah, Steve was a very interesting subject indeed.

“Is… Is he okay?” Eddie questions as he straightens from his hunched position, head tilting to the side and making his bangs fall in his eyes. Robin throws her hands up with a mighty huff and a frustrated groan.

“Obviously not!” She exclaims. She starts pacing around his living room, back and forth in front of the coffee table. “He’s obviously not okay because you’ve been avoiding him and making him feel like shit for months and I’m actually really worried about him ‘cause he’s been doing stupid shit that can get him killed and I don’t know how much longer he can go on like this before it completely ruins him.”

As Robin rambles, her face turns a bright shade of pink. She finishes her speech, sucking in a deep breath as if she ran out of air. Eddie’s brows furrow.

“I haven’t been avoiding Steve,” he defends weakly. He hasn’t, not really. He just… he doesn’t want to get hurt.

Okay yes, Eddie is practically in love with the guy, but that doesn’t mean Steve feels the same about him. They’re friends, that’s it. Steve is going to find some beautiful girl and get married and have the houseful of kids he’s always wanted and Eddie will be here, still pining from afar. He knows it would be easier to just forget about him, and forget about the feelings clutching his heart like a starved hawk with its first fulfilling catch in months. That’s why he’s been slowly letting go over the past few weeks, trying—and failing—to get that stupid pretty boy out of his head. Of course, it’s not working, and every day he spends not talking to Steve feels like hell.

So no, he’s not avoiding Steve. He just doesn’t think he could survive it if he confesses and Steve rejects him completely. Staying away means he won’t accidentally reveal his feelings for the man, and judging by how much he’s feeling, it wouldn’t be very hard for that scraggly cat to come clawing and screeching out of the proverbial bag.

Robin, however, thinks the opposite because according to the look she’s giving him, she says he absolutely fucking has.

Eddie sighs. “Okay, maybe I have just a little bit but it’s not—“

Eddie freezes, stomach plummeting as Robin's rambling words take purchase in his mind. She said Steve was doing something stupid, something that could kill him. Flashes of a night now a distant memory play in his mind, one filled with panicked breaths, stilted tears, and a bloody bat with nails.

“Robin… What do you mean by ‘stupid shit’?” Eddie asks tentatively. Part of him wants to know the answer, while part of him fears the idea of ever finding out. Robin only gives him a confused look and crosses her arms.

“Eddie, that’s totally not the point of this conversation and you know it—“ Eddie cuts her off by waving his hands.

“Robin! Just…” he trails off. Should he tell her about Steve? He promised he wouldn’t but…

“Okay, I have to tell you something about Steve but please please don’t tell him I told you because I promised him I wouldn’t but if you also know something about him then I think you should know about this too,” he rushes out, words tumbling fast out of his mouth as his lungs scream for air. Robin’s icy glare has melted a bit, turning into one of anxiety and caution.

He sighs and flops down on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees as he looks down at his hands. He feels more than sees Robin sit next to him and he knows he has her attention.

“What happened, Eddie?” She prompts, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

“I had a visit from Steve awhile back, around four or five days ago,” he begins. “It was early in the morning and I couldn’t sleep so I was writing notes for a new campaign idea in the living room. I could feel that something was… off, so I looked out the window and there he was.”

He ran a hand over his face, pushing his bangs back and pulling on the ends. He glances over at Robin to find her looking at him. He squeezes his eyes closed for a moment before looking back at her.

“He wasn’t all there, Robin. Like… like he was trapped in his mind or something. I thought,” he huffs a deprecating laugh, “for a moment there, I thought he was cursed.”

He doesn’t mention that the image found its way in his head and can’t seem to find its way out, like a stubborn housefly who keeps banging against the glass hoping to be freed. The thought of Steve floating—eyes rolled back in his head while his lids flutter and his limbs shudder and break one by one—has kept him awake on more nights than he can count. The thought of him being subjected to his worst nightmares given life, all the lies that he tells himself turned to truth. The thought of Eddie being completely helpless, watching him die in agony in front of him.

He doesn’t mention that every night since then, he’s called Steve. He needed to hear his voice, to know he was okay. To know he was alive. He never got a call back.

“I got him to come inside but he didn’t stay long. Something spooked him, I think, I just… I don’t know, it was really weird. Like…” he trails off, unable to find the words.

“Like he was in fight or flight mode?” Robin suggests, and he nods.

“Pure instinct.”

Robin groans. “Shit, this is worse than I thought.”

“Wait, did he tell you?” He asks. Steve was so insistent on Eddie not telling her—made him promise, in fact—so why…?

“Well… after a very long, very emotional, and very vulnerable conversation, yes. He told me on his own terms though, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she supplies. “He… He didn’t tell me a ton of details, though. Not… Not like that.”

There’s a pause as Robin clenches her eyes closed and looks away from him.

“I didn’t know it was that bad,” her voice comes out just barely above a whisper, something he wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t right next to her. Eddie stays silent, unwilling to break the solemn mood. Robin, however, misses that message entirely as she smacks his arm.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me, doofus?!” She accuses, giving him a half-hearted glare that is no less threatening. Eddie holds his hands up in surrender, unable to hide the exasperated look on his face.

“He made me promise!!” Eddie defends. “Plus he gave me those damn puppy dog eyes and I couldn’t say no.”

“He is really good at that, especially when he wants something. He says he has no clue but I bet you he does,” Robin whispers, almost conspiratory as if they’re sharing a terrible secret. Eddie can’t help but smile and shake his head. Screw Harrington and his stupid pretty eyes.

“Did he say anything else while he was here?” Robin asks after a moment of silence.

“No, that was the only thing he said really, other than an absent ‘I’m fine’ before he bolted out the door. It was a very uh… one-sided conversation,” Eddie explains. “He mostly gave only one or two word answers before he panicked and ran.”

“I’m gonna assume he didn’t tell you why he left?” She asks, and at the shake of his head she curses. “Fuck.”

“Fuck indeed.”

Robin shifts beside him, raising her hand to mindlessly chew on her thumbnail. He thinks the conversation is over. Or, rather, wishes it were over.

That universal god must really hate Eddie today because Robin roughly shakes her head and waves her hands around, letting out a huff.

“Okay, one problem at a time. That was totally not the point of this little talk and you know it, Munson,” she admonishes. “Why. Are. You. Avoiding. Steve?”

She punctuates each word with a, quite literal, punch to the arm. Eddie reels back, dramatically clutching his bruised arm and gives her a fake glare.

“Ow!!” He rubs his arm. For her incredibly bony arms, she really can pack a punch. He’s only half joking that it hurts.

“Answer the question!”

“Fine fine…” he takes a deep breath, knee bouncing with building anxiety before he stands up, unable to quell the urge to move. He paces twice in front of the coffee table before he has the nerve to look at her waiting gaze.

“So, as you know, I am a raging homosexual,” he states, and at his pause, she nods. “And I miiiiiight have a teeny weeny, itsy bitsy, enormous crush on him.”

The end of his sentence is rushed out, words jumbled together as he screws his eyes closed and waits for… whatever Robin’s response is going to be. He waits for five seconds. Then ten. Then twenty-five because yes he’s counting. If he knows one thing about Robin Buckley it’s that she doesn’t know when to stop talking so silence is a very rare occurrence for her and now its been a whole minute and something must be wrong so he opens his eyes to find her—

The only word that even remotely comes close to encompassing the expression on her face is seething.

He instinctively takes a step back.

“Edward Lee Munson you better explain yourself right fucking now or I swear to every god out there that I will rip out your spleen and feed it to the neighborhood dogs before you take a step out that door,” Robin all but growls out, eyes icy and cold as they stare through him. He’s quick to explain because he really quite values his spleen, thank you very much.

“Okay, okay, geez I get it! Fine,” he huffs. “I’ve been avoiding Steve because it’s hard to be around him.”

Robin only raises an eyebrow. Eddie groans. He really wishes he didn’t have to explain his big, fat, gay love this early in the morning.

“It’s hard because he’s so…. So Steve all the time. He’s so kind and caring and hot— god, Birdie, he’s so fucking hot—“

“Okay, yeah, I didn’t need to know that,” Robin interrupts.

“Sorry,” he says, a bit sheepish. “Every little smile he gives me feels like a swarm of butterflies are fighting horde-style to get out of my stomach. I just…

“I think I’m in love with him,” Eddie confesses. The way her eyes blow wide is comical, and he’s half expecting them to pop and burst like they do in cartoons.

“But I know better,” he gives her a sad smile. “I know that I’m not special, he doesn’t mean it like that. Like I want it to. And…. And I know he never will.

“I thought that distancing myself would make the feelings go away, make it… I don’t know, hurt less? But not seeing Steve at all… fuck, it hurts worse than dying and I know what that feels like. Now I don’t even have him as a friend,” he scoffs at himself, shakes his head a little and focuses on a framed picture of him, Steve, Robin, and Dustin from graduation on the wall. Focuses on how Steve’s arm is wrapped around his shoulders, hand gripping his upper arm as he smiles shyly at the camera. How Eddie himself is leaning into his side, tucked under his arm as if he belongs there. As if he’ll ever belong there. He looks back at Robin.

“But this is what’s best. I can’t have my stupid heart feeling things my brain knows it shouldn’t,” Eddie ends his little speech by flopping back down on the couch. Part of him regrets telling her, but another small, itty bitty part is almost grateful.

Eddie’s always had a way of caring too much, even from a young age. Wayne could tell you better than anyone that Eddie has always had a soft side. He could tell you that Eddie refused to let him kill any of the bugs that got into the trailer when the weather turned cold and insisted that they be put outside under the trailer where it was at least a little warmer. He could tell you that every time Eddie would see another person cry, he would too.

He’s just always been like that, so carrying this around with him everyday? It was becoming too much to bear, having to put on a face around everyone so no one could tell. So no one could see how it was breaking him inside. Wearing him down to the bone. Slowly, slowly killing him.

Robin sighs beside him and he had almost forgotten she was there. Her voice is quiet and strangely gentle as she speaks.

“Why do you think that, Eddie?”

What?

“What?” He asks incredulously and knows his face is in a similar state to his voice.

“Why do you think Steve wouldn’t like you like that? Has he said anything to make you think he wouldn’t?” She clarifies, which really doesn’t clarify anything at all for him because what?

“Um… are we talking about the same Steve? You know, Steve Harrington, Hawkins’ resident ladies man? Why the fuck would you think I’d have a shot?” He explains. “He’s so painfully straight and I am so painfully not, Robin.”

Robin just looks at him like she’s trying to read his mind. Or, rather, push a thought into his mind. Waiting for something to click. It doesn’t. Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Besides, Steve never tried to talk to me about the whole distance thing, so I just—“

“You know what happens when people assume things, Eddie,” Robin interrupts.

“—figured that he didn’t mind,” Eddie finishes with a glare. Robin closes her eyes and takes a breath as if calming herself. She pinches her nose, right between her eyes like Steve always does when he’s frustrated or tired, and turns to him. She takes his hands in hers, and her face is only a mere mask of calm, the tumbling waves of anger rolling just under the surface.

“Eddie,” she begins. “Have you ever thought of the possibility that Steve doesn’t talk about his feelings? That he would keep it all bottled up inside like he does with literally everything else?”

Well, when she puts it like that…

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Robin agrees. “I only found out about this whole… thing two days ago and that was only because I just so happened to catch him falling asleep at work. He wouldn’t have told me if I didn’t ask him, I know that for sure. He… Eddie, he honestly believes that this is all his fault. That he’s the one that fucked everything up between you and he kids.”

Eddie’s brain screeches to a halt. “Wait, what do the kids have to do with this?”

“You haven’t told them anything?” Robin asks, eyes going a little wide.

“Have I told a bunch of teenagers—whose opinions I regretfully respect—that I have a crush on their babysitter? No, I have not.”

“Okay, yeah that was a stupid question, sorry,” she amends. “Just… the kids are avoiding Steve and I can’t think of a reason why.”

“They’re what!? Wait, why haven’t I heard of this until now?” Eddie exclaims. Robin gives him a look that makes him deflate a little. “Let me guess, you only found out two days ago?”

“Bingo, we have a winner!” Robin fake cheers, raising her arms in a mock-celebratory fashion. She drops them with a huff. “They haven’t talked to him in weeks, Eddie, and I think it’s because you have been avoiding him.”

Her tone isn’t accusatory, but it still makes him feel like shit.

“They must have picked up the sense that something was going on between you two and assumed they should be avoiding him too,” she suggests. Eddie leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I don’t get how they could think that, though. I mean, Steve has been nothing but good to them for years now.”

“I know,” Robin agrees. “But they’re kids. Stupid, dumb, ungrateful kids, but they’re still kids.”

Eddie drops his head in his hands, pressing hard on his eyes until spots form behind his eyelids.

“I really fucked this up, didn’t I?” He asks it rhetorically, but Robin gives a noise of agreement anyway. “How do I fix this, Birdie?”

“You could start by talking to him,” Robin suggests.

Now isn’t that a terrifying thought?

Because knowing you have feelings for someone is one thing, but telling them? That’s something so far out of the realm of possibility for him that he’s never even thought about considering it.

“Have you lost your fucking mind, Buckley?” Eddie exclaims, looking over at her with wide eyes. “I’d like to keep all my teeth if you don’t mind. I mean, I know I’m not your type and everything but some poor schmuck would probably like to look at this face one more time before it's beat all black and blue.”

Robin only rolls her eyes at his rambling—which is rather hypocritical of her if you ask him, since she seems to treat rambling as an Olympic sport she plans on winning every time she opens her mouth. She grabs his face between her hands and honest to god shakes him.

“I can’t tell you everything, but I’m telling you to trust me and talk to him,” she practically demands, giving him a pointed look much like the one from before. Except he still doesn’t know what it means, as that final piece has yet to click into place.

He nods in her hold, partially afraid of her now, and she releases him.

“We need to fix this. Now,” Eddie insists. He looks over at her. “We need to talk to the kids.”

Eddie stands up, running to his room and groaning at the mess he left. Tossing his sheets and blankets back on the bed, he reaches under his bed for the walkie he knows he last saw under there three days ago. Except, it’s not there. He stands up, scrunches his eyebrows, and thinks.

Let’s see… it was next to the keychain that was on top of the VHS sitting on the books on the corner of the desk, then he moved it when he had to answer one of Lucas’ questions which he did while he walked around the trailer and he laid it down when he finished to get some cheese from the fridge, meaning—

Eddie runs back to the kitchen, finding the walkie on top of the fridge, right where he thought it would be.

“Got ya!” He grabs it and runs back to the living room where Robin is waiting very impatiently.

“Where even was that?” She asks but he ignores her, electing to set the frequency so he can talk to the kids all at once instead of answering her. He presses the button.

“This is Eddie the Banished calling an emergency Hellfire meeting pronto,” he orders into the speaker. “I repeat, emergency Hellfire meeting.”

He waits for a response. One minute. Two minutes. Three—

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Eddie mumbles, pressing the button again. “Over.”

Immediately, Dustin responds. “Hear you loud and clear, Eddie. Is this a code red situation? Over.”

“Nope, not a code red. More of a uh…” he glances over at Robin who shrugs. “Code yellow? I think. Over.”

“What the hell is ‘code yellow’? We don’t even have one of those,” comes Erica’s, as always, sarcastic remark. Eddie can faintly hear Lucas yelling in the background.

“Munson, you better not be shitting with us.”

“I promise you, Red, I wouldn’t. Not about this.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, people! You’re supposed to say ‘over’ when you’re done talking! Over.”

“Shove it, Dustybuns, the adults are talking.”

Eddie has to hold the walkie away from him at Dustin’s responding shriek. He presses a hand over his eyes. These kids are going to kill him one day.

“Guys, this is serious. Just get your asses over to my trailer as soon as possible. Robin’s already here, does someone have Little Byers and Supergirl?”

“I’ve got them. Over and out,” Mike responds.

“Erica and I are on our way. Over and out,” Lucas says.

“Be there in fifteen. Over and out,” Dustin declares. Eddie glances at Robin, sharing equally nervous and worried looks. This is not going to be fun.

Thirty minutes later, all of the kids are cramped in Eddie’s living room. Lucas, Max, El, and Mike are scrunched together on the couch, while Will and Dustin sit on the floor in front of them. Erica claimed Wayne’s recliner as soon as her and Lucas got there, refusing to move for the older teens.

Robin is standing next to him, hands on her hips again—really driving home the whole “Steve is my platonic soulmate” bit—as he stands there with his arms crossed. The two of them remind Eddie of disappointed parents about to tell off their kids, which, in reality, isn't too far off.

“Okay, what the hell?” Dustin asks, still breathless from the trek there. “I literally just got home an hour ago. Why did you call us and make us bike all the way here in the heat?”

“Because you deserve it for being shitheads,” Eddie defends and rolls his eyes. He’s met with a cacophony of dweeby teen voices as they retaliate.

“What did we do this time?”

“What?! We didn’t do anything!”

“What did Dustin do, now?”

“Me? Why am I the one being blamed? I wasn’t even here!”

“Because you’re too damn nosey, dude.”

“Ouch, Lucas. Ouch.”

“Hey!” Eddie yells, clapping his hands to get their attention. It startles them all enough to quit talking over each other and look back up at him. “Okay, I’m just going to get to the point. Why are you all avoiding Steve?”

Mike gives him a confused look and crosses his arms, his expression the epitome of teenage angst.

“We thought you hated Steve, dude. You would always leave the room whenever he was around with some shitty excuse so we just decided to do the same,” Mike answers. Dustin nods from his spot on the floor.

“Yeah, we all thought he did something or said something to you since every time we brought him up, you’d shut the conversation down somehow. It just… naturally progressed from not talking about him to not talking to him either,” Dustin explains.

“Steve stopped showing up to things, too. He used to help me practice but he’s not shown up in weeks,” Lucas adds.

“Mom’s gotten really worried about him. He’s not shown up to dinner in a while, either,” Dustin chimes in. He shrugs. “We just thought the feeling was mutual.”

Eddie clenches his eyes closed and throws his head back. Fuck, this is worse than he thought. He hears Robin shift beside him, and knows firsthand the look she’s giving them right now.

“Have any of you even considered asking Steve about this?” Robin asks accusatively. “Or even talking to him about anything other than rides or movie nights?”

Silence falls over the room, so thick and suffocating that Eddie briefly prefers the air of the Upside Down to this. He pulls his hair, scrunching down on the floor and balancing on the pads of his feet.

“This is all my fault,” he groans, twisting strands of hair frustratedly.

“It is,” Robin agrees and ignores the glare Eddie sends her way for that. “But we can still fix this.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Mike asks.

“Why does Eddie look three seconds away from strangling himself with his hair?” Max hesitates, sounding the most cautious he’s ever heard her. Eddie groans and avoids eye contact with the group.

“The reason I’m avoiding Steve isn’t because I hate him. It’s uh… quite the opposite, actually,” he explains, nervously fidgeting with his rings and pulling a thick strand of hair to hide his face. He glances at Robin, who gives him an overly enthusiastic thumbs up, and he rolls his eyes.

Max and Erica give him equally smug smirks while Will looks at him with wide, understanding eyes. The rest of the group, however, look confused.

“Wait, then why are you avoiding him?” Dustin asks.

“Dude, that makes zero sense,” Mike counteracts. El just looks lost, almost like she’s trying to read his mind. Which… he really wouldn’t be surprised if she could at this point. Eddie sighs.

“That’s not the point,” Eddie redirects. “The point is that an issue with me and Steve shouldn’t affect you guys’ relationship with him.”

“Yeah,” Robin agrees, and he deftly ignores the pointed look she sends his way. “Steve has been there for all of you for years.

“Dustin, wasn’t it Steve who helped you catch D’art when he escaped from your cellar? He bought pounds of meat for you to lure a demodog away with, then fought a pack of them by himself to keep you safe. Steve put himself in the line of fire again against said demodogs in the tunnels after he was beaten unconscious by Billy, then sacrificed himself to Russians just so you and Erica could make it out alive a year later.”

Dustin clamps his mouth shut from its gaping position—likely from him wanting to defend himself from the truth—and has the decency to look sheepish. Eddie turns his gaze to Lucas.

“Lucas, wasn’t it Steve who helped you train for basketball when you started to show an interest in it? He practiced with you every week, even after a long shift at work or when he felt like shit, just because you asked. Steve protected you against Billy because it was the right thing to do, and took a beating so you wouldn’t. Not many people can say they’d do that for someone else, especially not against anyone as vicious as Hargrove,” Eddie adds. Lucas drops his head in his hands, knee bouncing from his place on the couch.

“Max,” Robin begins. “Steve checked up on you every day after Billy died. He would bring you food or ice cream or a distraction, but he was always there. He would drive you to the arcade just to cheer you up, let you beat him at Dig Doug and Pinball just to see you smile. Steve was terrified to let you be the bait for Vecna, he… he kept telling me that he wished it was him instead. That he should be the sacrifice, not you.”

Robin wipes her eyes where they begin to tear up, and Eddie uses the pause to look at Mike. He still has his arms crossed, but the smartass look on his face has dwindled a little.

“Mike, I know you don’t like Steve because of him and Nancy, but you can’t hold onto that grudge forever. What happened between them had nothing to do with you, so there's no need to be mad at him for it,” Eddie states. Mike isn’t looking at him now, and something tells Eddie that the kid just needs a reality check. Hopefully, this will work. “Steve has been protecting you from the beginning, even when you were more than hostile to him. You’ve at least got to give him credit for that.”

Eddie looks around, sees the morose expressions on the kids’ faces.

“Steve has picked you all up countless times from Hellfire, waiting the entire session out in the parking lot while wasting away in his car. He was there rain or shine, snow or sleet, and he never missed a day. Not once,” he states.

Eddie first found Steve’s presence after Hellfire to be confusing, an anomaly. He didn’t know that the Steve the kids talked about was the same Steve he had a debilitating crush on in high school, not until he saw him waiting outside after the first session the kids attended, leaning against his maroon BMW like a Calvin Klein model. A ball of anxiety formed in his stomach at the sight, because one thing about Steve Harrington was that he’s unpredictable. Eddie just didn’t know if it was good or bad yet.

“You know, usually when people graduate they tend to stay away from high school, not willingly come back,” Eddie teased.

His words seemed to spark some life into Steve, as he jolted from his relaxed position against the hood to stand firmly beside his car. Steve ran a hand through his hair, and looked Eddie up and down.

“You’d probably know more about that if you managed to actually graduate, Munson,” Steve quipped, but it wasn’t mean. He had a smile on his face, and the air around him was friendly. Some of the anxiety churning in Eddie’s gut eased at the sight.

“Besides, who says I’m here willingly?” Steve asked rhetorically, as Dustin made his appearance by running up to him and immediately began talking his ears off about the new campaign. Steve turned his full attention on the boy, nodding along to certain comments even when Eddie knew for sure Steve didn’t know what the hell Henderson was talking about. The other kids soon crowded around the former jock, all talking so incredibly fast that Eddie was surprised the sound barrier survived their cracking voices.

Eddie watched as Steve glanced at him over the kids’ heads, giving him a loose smile and a shrug as if saying, ‘what can ya do?’

Soon, all the gremlins piled into Steve’s fancy car, still talking and gesturing wildly with their hands. Eddie had a passing thought that he should get Steve some earplugs or something to at least help drown out the noise. He immediately shook his head at the thought and jumped in his old, beat up van, driving home to an empty trailer and trying desperately to forget Steve Harrington existed.

“He always waits until the excitement starts to wear off before he takes you all home, letting you talk to each other for nearly an hour after each session despite the fact he never has a clue what you’re talking about. He always listens to you guys, no matter what,” Eddie supplies. “Did you guys know he has mixtapes for each of you?”

At the question, they all look at him with varying degrees of confusion and an all-too-late realization. Eddie huffs, while Robin mutters something under her breath that sounds a lot like, ‘of course they didn’t.’

“There’s one for each of you, filled with songs you like or mentioned liking at some point despite some of them not being his own taste. He listens to you, all of you, and it fucking hurts to know you don’t see that,” he exposes, and part of him regrets letting a bit of his anger out. Though, the kids need to know this is serious, that you can’t go through life assuming the worst in people, so if being angry is what it takes then so be it.

The kids have various emotions on their faces, ashamed and regretful being the two most prominent. Dustin clears his throat and looks up at Eddie, flicks his eyes to Robin, and returns them to his lap.

“I… I didn’t realize he did so much for us,” Dustin quietly admits, and a small part of Eddie cheers at finally teaching the kid a thing or two about humility.

“We’ve been taking advantage of him for… for so long,” Lucas breathes out. Max nods morosely beside him, and Will raises a shaky hand to cover his mouth.

Mike rolls his eyes, still petulantly crossing his arms. “Why should we even care about him? All he’s probably doing is wallowing in his fancy house or something.”

He says it with a layer of snark so thick, all the kids turn to him with varying levels of bitchy glares. Eddie, however, can tell his attitude is a mask, a way for him to hide how he’s truly feeling to prevent from being too vulnerable. From being too open. Eddie knows a lot about that.

It started when Eddie was four and he scraped his knee on the harsh gravel outside his parents’ run-down home in Kentucky. Tears rolled down his chubby cheeks as he ran inside to tell his mom, who he knew would take care of him. She told him to play outside, and not come in until she told him so, but his knee really hurt and he was scared they would have to cut it off if it bled too much. At least, that’s what Charlie—a kid who lived two streets over—said they would do.

When he stepped over the threshold, something felt off. The house was quiet, more so than normal, and it set him on edge. The TV was filled with static that grated on his little ears, and he covered them with his hands as he made his way over to turn it off. He picked up the antenna off the floor, wondering how it got knocked off the top of the TV in the first place. He looked around the living room, finding it in a similar state of disarray. He followed the trail of broken things before him; the overturned coffee table, a spilled ashtray, a stray pillow, and the chair his dad always sat on, pushed far out of its normal place. He questioned who could have messed up his house like this, leaving a big mess behind.

He found his answer when he ventured into the kitchen, just a few short steps from the living room, and found his mother laying on the floor. She was on her stomach, arms splayed out as if she tried to catch her fall and head turned to look at the doorway where little Eddie stood. Her eyes were closed but she was still breathing, the floral pattern of her dress moving with each breath. Shards of ceramic were spread out around her, littered with droplets of dark blood that spilled from a cut on her forehead. It dripped down the side of her face, along the curve of her cheek and onto the floor where it formed a small puddle. Her skin was pale in the artificial light of the house, the soft yellows doing nothing to soften the tones of her ashen face.

“Mama!” He ran up to her, falling to his knees beside her still body. He shook her, trying to get her eyes to open, but all it rewarded him was a pained grunt. His eyes welled with tears again, this time for his Mama, but nothing he was doing was working.

A shadow fell over the floor and he looked up to find his father blocking the light from the gold-colored light fixture above the kitchen table. His face was stern and dirty looking, his stubble well past the point of a five o’clock shadow and leaning more towards a sleazy strip club owner. There was a smear of blood on his face from his hand, which he noticed was bruised around the knuckles. However, the sight of what was in his other hand made him freeze, entire body going stock still.

In his father’s left hand were the remnants of the broken plate on the floor, the jagged edges cutting into his skin where he gripped it tightly. Matching blood littered the edge, and a splatter of the dark liquid traveled up his hairy arm and disappeared into his rolled up flannel sleeve.

He looked up at the figure before him, and the tears spilled over against his will.

“What happened to Mama?” He asked. “Why won’t she wake up?”

“‘Cause she’s sorry, son,” his dad answered, throwing down the ceramic and causing it to shatter against the floor. Eddie flinched, and his father caught the motion. He hadn’t been able to quell it, hadn’t learned how to hide his fear yet. The man scowled at him, lip curling as he grabbed Eddie’s arm and hauled him off the floor in one solid motion.

“She’s weak, Edward,” he began. This close, Eddie could see the redness of his eyes, and the deep purple bags that hang underneath. “Just like all women. Do you wanna be weak, boy?”

Eddie shook his head, and his father gripped his arm tighter. “Answer me!”

“N-No sir,” Eddie muttered, voice small and weak in the face of his father.

“Then stop that fucking crying, don’t be a sissy. I ain’t raising a fucking faggot, Edward.”

With that, his dad dropped his arm and stumbled into his bedroom down the hall. As soon as his figure was gone, Eddie turned back to his mom, crouching next to her. Sometime when his dad was talking, her eyes had opened and her breathing grew stronger. Eddie felt like it was nothing short of a small miracle.

“Mama, are you okay?”

“‘M okay, baby,” she replied, pushing herself off the floor with a grunt. She sat up with Eddie’s help, and frowned when she saw the reddened mark on his arm. “I shouldn’t have let him do that to you.”

“You were hurt, Mama. ‘S not your fault,” Eddie reasoned, pulling his arm out of her grasp to wipe at some of the blood on her face. “You’re bleeding, too.”

“Oh,” she began, reaching up to touch the wound as if she hadn’t realized it was there. “It’s nothing, Eddie, just a little scratch. Mama will be okay, promise.”

She didn’t look okay, this close, with her sunken-in face and slowly forming black eye Eddie hadn’t been able to see before. But his Mama was always right. Always.

“Pinky promise?” Eddie asked, holding out his little pinky. His Mama smiled, and raised a shaky hand to lace her pinky with his.

“Pinky promise.”

A year later, he was riding in the car with his Mama, backpack at his feet. She was dressed nicer than he ever remembered her being; a baby blue, short-sleeved dress hugged her slender frame, paired with white heels, white bug-eyed sunglasses, and a sheer white scarf she had tied around her hair. Her suitcase was in the trunk, but his father was nowhere to be found.

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Where’s Dad?” He asked. His Mama cleared her throat before she answered, voice shaky.

“He’s not coming with us, Eddie,” she said. “We’re going somewhere far away from him. Somewhere new.”

“Where?”

“Have a look for yourself, honey,” she said, pointing to the window. Eddie crawled up on his knees to look out, seeing a sign welcoming them to a place called Hawkins. He sat back down in his seat, looking back at his mother.

“What’s here?” He asked. His mother smiled.

“Your Uncle Wayne. He’s my brother,” she supplied. “We’re just going to pay him a little visit, okay?”

A few short minutes later, they were parked in front of a small trailer, a gruff looking man waiting for them on the newly-built porch. They got out of the car and Eddie grabbed his backpack, slinging it over his shoulders before his Mama led him up the steps.

“Eddie, this is Uncle Wayne,” his Mama informed. He looked up at her and she nudged his arm, urging him to say something.

“H-Hello, sir,” Eddie greeted, sticking out his small hand for the man to shake. Wayne huffed a laugh and crouched down, causing Eddie to take a step back on instinct, before he took his hand and shook it.

“Nice to meet ya, Eddie,” Wayne began. He let go of his hand but stayed crouched. “You can call me Wayne, or Uncle Wayne, or Uncle, or—hell, Todd for all I care. Just none of that ‘sir’ business, you got me?”

Eddie smiled and nodded. “Sorry, si—uh, Uncle Wayne.”

“That’s better, boy,” Wayne said, smiling as he clapped his shoulder softly. Wayne had kind eyes, blue and soft around the edges. They weren’t mean like his fathers. Instead, they looked exactly like his Mama’s—save for a few extra wrinkles around the edges. “Why don’t you go on inside while your Mama and I talk?”

Eddie did as he was told, walking in the trailer and taking in his surroundings. It was small, smaller than his house, but cozy. A couple mugs were hung up on the wall, paired with three trucker hats and a framed picture he was too far away to see. An old, floral patterned couch sat on the long wall of the living room, a coffee table in front littered with an opened can of Coke and a half-eaten bag of chips. The windows were open to let light in, making the space feel much bigger than it actually was.

He stepped into the kitchen, just a pace away from the living room, and took in the red-toned wooden cabinets and cream countertops stained with coffee rings yet to be wiped away. There was a hallway to his left where he found a single bedroom and a bathroom. The bathroom was small, just big enough for a stand-up shower, toilet, and sink. A single toothbrush sat in the cup on the side of the sink along with a bar of soap and an almost empty tube of toothpaste. On the other side of the sink though, Eddie noticed an unopened toothbrush. It was blue and had sparkles throughout its plastic. At the bottom, there was a small dog sticker and it made him smile a little.

His attention soon wandered to the bedroom, where he found a little twin-sized bed and tons of boxes. The bed was bare, save for a folded up quilt near the bottom with a pillow on top. The boxes were filled with various things; clothes, books, a cassette player, shoes, and tons of other small trinkets. He sat on the ground, pulling a box closer to look through it. There were thin books near the top labeled ‘Hawkins High’, and he flipped through it to find pictures upon pictures of people. He read the names, sounding them out to see if he could get them right. Some of them were weird, though, and he quickly put the book down to look at something else.

There was a box of cassette tapes to his left and Eddie scooted over to look through it. There were tons of names he didn’t recognize as he rifled through the plastic cases, though one stood out to him.

He picked up the Fleetwood Mac tape along with the cassette player from a box near the closet, plugging it into the wall and putting the tape in. He eyed the front door, seeing it still firmly closed. Just then, the tape clicked, causing him to jump, and he pressed play.

The familiar voice filled his ears, and he smiled. He and his Mama used to listen to Fleetwood Mac back home in the kitchen while they made supper, singing along with the tape or the radio to fill the house with music. The sound of it brought a smile to his face, and he closed his eyes as he listened to the words.

Engrossed in the music, he barely registered that the front door had both opened and closed until a soft hand was laid on his shoulder.

“Eddie, baby, I have to go,” his Mama said, and he jumped to his feet. He kinda felt bad about going through Uncle Wayne’s things without him being there, but if they were leaving then he didn’t think he would get too mad.

“Where are we going now, Mama?” Eddie wondered. His mother’s face turned pinched, and she lifted her glasses to look at him directly. She wore make-up, much more than she usually did, and as she crouched down Eddie could see it was barely disguising a bruise along the top of her right cheekbone.

“Eddie, only I’m leaving,” his Mama corrected. “You’re staying here with Wayne.”

At that, his whole world fell apart.

His mother, his Mama, was leaving him. It didn’t seem fair that he couldn’t go with her, that he couldn’t stay with his Mama like he wanted to. Wayne seemed nice from their brief interaction, but he didn’t know him. Not like he knew his Mama.

His stomach sank to his feet, and it felt as if someone poured ice-cold water over him. His eyes grew wide as tears welled, spilling over his cheeks.

“Why, Mama?” Eddie sobbed, wiping at his face because he wasn’t supposed to cry. “Why can’t I go with you?”

“You just can’t, Eddie, I’m sorry,” she stated. It felt hollow, her explanation. Like she was hiding something.

“But why?”

“Because you just can’t, Eddie!” She snapped, and Eddie’s breath caught. She sounded mad, but Eddie had never heard her get mad, not at him at least. He didn’t know what he did, only that she wouldn’t let him go with her.

She took a breath and cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“But- But you can’t leave me!” Eddie wailed. “Mama, please!”

She opened her arms and he fell into them, clinging hard enough to deem separating impossible. She hugged him back just as tight, and Eddie saw evidence of tear tracks streaking through her caked-on foundation.

“I know, baby, I don’t want to leave you either,” his Mama soothed. “But Wayne is going to take care of you, okay?”

Eddie looked over her shoulder to see Wayne leaning against one of the kitchen countertops, smiling sadly at him. Eddie screwed his eyes shut and buried his face in his mothers neck.

“You’re gonna come back, right?” Eddie mumbled before he moved to look at her. “Pinky promise you’re gonna come back for me.”

His Mama cried and wiped at her cheeks, smearing the make-up and making the bruises appear fresh on her pale skin. She held out a pinky, and Eddie laced his with hers.

“I promise, Eddie,” she said, leaning forward to kiss his forehead before getting to her feet. Her and Wayne shared a hug on her way out, and Eddie caught Wayne wiping his eyes too. He and his uncle stood on the porch as his mom drove away, waving until her taillights disappeared around the curve of the road.

That was the last time he saw his mother.

Unfortunately, it was not the last he saw his father.

He stayed with Wayne for two months until his father found him. They had grown accustomed to each other in that time, Eddie having warmed up to another parental figure and Wayne having gotten the basics down for caring for another being. Wayne insisted he start school in the fall, and he was two weeks in when all hell broke loose.

His father rolled up to the trailer in a fancy-looking sports car Eddie knew his dad didn’t have the money for. He stumbled out on the gravel, banging on the door until Wayne pulled it open.

“The hell are you doin’ here?” Wayne asked, standing firm in the doorway.

“I’m here to get my son,” his father demanded. He pushed past him and stormed the place until he found Eddie in the only bedroom—Wayne having set up a cot in the living room.

Eddie hadn’t expected to see his father again, mostly because he didn’t think the man really cared for him. That was prominent when he snatched Eddie off the bed and hauled him out of his room.

“Dad?” Eddie questioned. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking you away from here,” his father responded, glaring at Wayne who stood blocking the doorway.

“You’re not takin’ him anywhere, Al,” Wayne countered. He crossed his arms, looking far more intimidating than Eddie ever imagined. “He’s happy here.”

“He’ll be even more happy with me,” his dad insisted. “With his real family.”

“Son of a bitch, Al, I am his real family!” Wayne yelled. “You ain’t got the means for takin’ care of that boy, and you know it.”

His father stood toe to toe with his uncle, glaring at him. He whispered something Eddie was too far away to hear, but it made Wayne deflate completely.

Eddie didn’t want to leave. He found that these past two months with Wayne were filled with more happy memories than he ever remembered having back home. Wayne was nice, a little rough around the edges but he was a big softy inside. He cared about people, that much was evident in the way he was constantly helping people out around the park. He was a good person, so leaving him felt like his Mama all over again.

“Come on, son,” his father demanded, grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the trailer. Eddie looked back at Wayne, eyes stinging. He waved, and Wayne waved back. He watched the trailer from the backseat until he couldn’t tell which one was theirs, only facing the front when his dad snapped at him.

They rode for hours, far past the Indiana state line, until they ended up in a strange city filled with tall buildings and blinding lights that made Eddie’s eyes sting. They went through the city, stopping on the outskirts in a run-down neighborhood even more decrepit than his old house in Kentucky.

He spent two years with his dad in a city he came to know at St. Louis, but it never felt like home. Not like the trailer with Wayne, or anywhere his mother was. He learned how to hotwire cars and how to drive like a bat out of hell whenever his dad told him to. He learned that he was too much to take care of; his father constantly complained about feeding him, keeping him clothed, taking care of him like a father should. He learned that showing emotions would only get you hurt, that he had to hide them to survive. He learned what all the different white powders did to someone, how they would affect your mind and your body. How they made his father violent, or remorseful, or depressed, but never happy.

His father was on a bad trip when a rush of red and blue lights invaded their windows, sirens blaring and making Eddie’s ears ring. Their front door was kicked open, the old wood splintering easily under the force of a steel-toed boot. Police flooded the house, and Eddie was grabbed and dragged out before he had time to comprehend everything that was happening.

He was sitting in the back of a cop car with the door open, body completely still as police went in and out of their house. He couldn’t let them know he was scared out of his mind, that he was afraid of what they would do to him. He knew the best way to get through it was to show nothing at all. To be indifferent. Emotionless. It was the only thing his father taught him that he deemed useful.

His father was dragged out of the house by two policemen, kicking and screaming at them but Eddie couldn’t hear what he was saying, ears having gone deaf to anything other than the ringing in his head. Next thing he knew, his father had broken free and punched one of the officers, causing several to tackle him to the ground and handcuff him before practically throwing him into a car and hauling him away. All Eddie could do was watch, knowing there was nothing he could do to help him.

“You got somewhere to go, kid?” One of the cops that took him out of the house asked, leaning against the open door and blocking the flashing lights. Eddie nodded, and the cop took him back to the station where he called Wayne.

“Eddie, son, where are you? Are you okay? If that bastard hurt you, I swear to god—“

“Wayne,” Eddie began, his voice rough from not using it. “Can you come get me?”

A pause. “Sure, kid, where are you?”

“St. Louis,” Eddie supplied. There was cursing on the other end, muffled so Eddie couldn’t tell what was said but he knew Wayne well enough. Even after only two months, the man had become more like a father to him than his own dad ever was.

“I’m coming right now to get ya, just hold on tight, okay? I’ll be there ‘fore the morning.”

True to his word, Wayne showed up right before dawn in his beat up truck. He stormed the station like a madman, looking for him. He was rumpled, like he threw on just enough clothes to be decent before booking it all the way here. If he knew Wayne, that’s probably exactly what he did.

“Eddie? Eds, where are ya?”

“Sir,” the lady at the front desk interrupted. “I’m going to have to ask you to lower your voice—“

“Wayne!” Eddie perked up from the desk chair he was sitting at in the station, running around desks before jumping straight in his uncle's arms. Wayne held onto him just as tight, and he could’ve sworn he heard a sniffle or two come from the man.

“I was so worried, Eds,” Wayne whispered. “I tried lookin’ for ya, I swear I did, just—If I’d known he’d taken ya to another state I wouldn’t’ve stopped ‘til I searched the whole damn country.”

“I know, Wayne,” Eddie muttered. “I missed you too.”

As much as Eddie tried, he couldn’t put up that mask of indifference around his uncle. He could try, sure, but it never worked longer than five seconds before he saw right through it and it crumbled at Eddie’s feet.

“Let’s get you home, son,” Wayne insisted and before he knew it, Eddie was asleep in the passenger seat of the truck as they took the highway home.

Since then, Eddie and Wayne had become inseparable. There were no secrets between them, no masks. They weren’t needed, not when Wayne was more than good to him. They weren’t wanted, either, since Wayne made sure to remind him that showing emotions wasn’t a bad thing. That it was good, healthy.

It wasn’t until much later in middle school when he learned that having a mask was necessary sometimes. Especially when people started calling him a freak and a weirdo because he wasn’t identical to everyone else. Because he lived in a trailer with someone that wasn’t his biological parent and wore hand-me-down clothes that were baggy on him since his growth spurt hadn’t hit yet. He donned the air of indifference he had left behind long ago, letting the names and rumors bounce off his skin like water off an umbrella.

That need intensified when high school hit and the rumor mill grew exponentially. Suddenly, he was bombarded with accusations of Satanism, prison time, drug dealing—though that one was true—pet raccoons, and, at one point, an army of undead babies he sucked the life out of that he could command at will. Really, the shit people came up with was astounding, and Eddie learned to shove it all away. None of it was true—save for a couple things he would never, in a million years, tell another soul at Hawkins High—so he made sure to act like it was true. Let people believe what they want to believe. In the meantime, Eddie used it to his advantage to prevent anyone from getting too close. From looking past the barrier he put up between himself and everyone else.

So yeah, Eddie knows a little bit about where Mike’s coming from.

“Actually…” Robin starts. “Steve’s not doing so great—“

“What?!” Dustin squawks out, cutting Robin off and all but jumping up from his seated position. “Why the hell did you not start this whole damn thing with that?!”

“We were getting there, Henderson!” Eddie clarifies. “Now sit your ass down.”

Dustin—for once—does as he’s told. Eddie looks to Robin and gives her a nod, letting her have the floor.

“Steve’s got it in his head that he’s the only one allowed to sacrifice himself for us, that he’s only needed or wanted when he can put himself in the line of fire. So, like the caring dumbass he is, he’s been wandering around Hawkins at night because he’s worried that something will happen.”

“But I closed all of the gates,” El starts, head cocked and eyebrows scrunched like a confused puppy. “We are in no more danger.”

“I think part of him knows that, Supergirl,” Eddie explains. “But he needs to know for certain, to make sure you guys are absolutely safe.”

She nods, and sadness finds its way to her eyes. Eddie feels a pang of sympathy for her, knowing that learning how to live all over again is never easy.

“He’s not been sleeping much,” Robin continues. “It’s like he’s barely there anymore. Like he’s just… a shell.

“He thinks you all hate him. He thinks he deserves this for all the shit he did in the past, even though we all know he’s more than made up for it by becoming a decent fucking human being,” she spits out. There’s anger in her eyes now as she glares at a stain on the carpet, unwilling to look at the kids but needing to get her point across. “He broke down in my arms because this is the fifth fucking time the people he’s loved has left him and I think… I think this time broke him.”

She raises her head and looks over the kids, tears balanced on her lower eyelashes and threatening to spill over.

“You’re his family, the family he got to choose, and you still… you left. Just like everyone else has.”

The room fills with silence as the words sink in.

“How… How do we fix it?” Will asks, his quiet voice now loud. Eddie sighs and rakes a hand through his hair—a motion that keeps reminding him of Steve—before shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I know part of it is my fault, I admit that. I shouldn’t have just stopped talking to him all of the sudden, I should’ve… well, there’s a lot of things I should have done but I didn’t, so I plan on fixing that,” Eddie admits. He looks around the room, makes as much eye contact as he can to drive his point home. “You should too. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to cut it, not this time. Not for this.”

The kids all nod, and Eddie gestures to the door to dismiss them. They all look like kicked puppies with slouching posture and ducked heads, walking out of the trailer with their tails between their legs. Dustin and Mike are the first to hop on their bikes, ready to either apologize and get it over with or get as far away from his and Robin’s disappointed glares as possible. Before they can push off, Eddie calls out to them.

“Hey! Give it a couple days,” Eddie orders. “Steve… He’s going to need some time. Go to him when he’s ready, okay?”

He’s met with various nods and ‘will do’s as some of them take off, their knobbly knees hitting the handlebars of their too-small bikes. Then, he notices a particular brunette has yet to leave, her bike with little white training wheels still standing in the grass. Her big brown eyes lock with his and, even though there's a porch between them, he can feel the seriousness in her gaze.

“I miss him. He was always very nice to me,” El confesses. “He always gave me piggyback rides.”

Her face falls a little. “I did not know we were being mean to him.”

Eddie finds himself softening a little at her words.

“I know, Supergirl,” he winks at her. “That’s why you’re my favorite.”

She giggles in response and hops on her bike, meeting up with Max who stopped to wait for her a few yards away.

Eddie closes the door, falling against it with a thud. He groans, the sound bouncing off the thin door and out in the empty trailer. He turns to go to his room, preferably to wallow, before nearly jumping clean out of his skin.

Well, he thought the trailer was empty, except there now stands one Robin Buckley who has resumed her unimpressed, hands-on-her-hips, "you're a fucking dumbass" position from earlier.

"Jesus H. Christ!" He exclaims. A hand comes up to grab at his heart which is actively trying to beat out of his chest as his lungs grapple for air. "Birdie, I forgot you were there."

"Yeah," she deadpans. "Clearly."

Eddie straightens up, and quirks an eyebrow at her rather over dramatically. Robin rolls her eyes.

"Well?"

"It's a deep subject," Eddie sarcastically responds. Robin, unfortunately, doesn't find that funny. "'Well' what?"

"Go apologize!" She yells.

“Okay, okay, geez!”

Eddie pats himself down, looking for the keys to his van before Robin clears her throat. He looks over at her to see an unamused quirk of her eyebrow before she points to the hook by the door where his keys hang.

“Thanks, Buck!” he exclaims, pressing his hands together in prayer to the saint she is. Grabbing them, he throws the door open and clears the steps in one jump, stumbling a bit on the landing but really, he’s quite proud of this rare athletic appearance.

Jumping in his van, he slams a random tape in the deck, grinning a little at the song that plays first. Despite his obvious avoidance of the second track, the Master of Puppets album still holds a very special place in his heart. So it's really not a surprise that the song that just so happens to play first reminds him of the very man he’s going to see, sacrificial tendencies and all.

He slams on the gas, tires squealing as he peels out of Forest Hills trailer park faster than he ever has before.

He’s not running away this time; not running from a small cheerleader’s body trapped on his ceiling, not running from angry town hicks with their fiery pitchforks, and not running from a creepy interdimensional demon who enjoys sucking the life out of depressed teenagers.

No, this time, he’s running to something. Running to Steve.

He just hopes Steve will let him.

———

Permanent tag list: @tea-beloved @estrellami-1 @mericatty @bookworm0690

Fic tag list: @madcapromantic @hannahhook7744 @h3rmitsunited @willim-billiam-byerson @stuftzombie @acowardinmordor @zerokrox-blog @my-chemical-sexuality-crisis @grimmfitzz @ladygrimheart @bestwifehaver @blanketlicker @fishinforfiish @vi-an-te @orionchildofhades @7shrewsinatrenchcoat @whackyrach @stevie-crow @missmagillicuddy @1cookieburn1 @mightbeasleep @jettestar @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @imyelenasexual @yikes-a-bee @that-agender-from-pluto @sufjuringstevens @gregre369 @sofadofax @lolawonsstuff @rajumat @ksierra674 @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window @justforthedead89 @vanillatwist @actually-races-erster @background-noise-headache @warlordless @largechaos @noctxrn-e @hope-can-be-your-sword @foundintheshallows @burningoffaroad @obliosworld @lemon-astra @midnightskeeper @venteraltus @lovelyscot @juleswashere3 @child-of-cthulhu

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#stranger things #steddie #pre steddie #disposable heroes #disposable heroes mcir #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things drabble #stranger things fic #robin buckley #robin gets to punch eddie like she wanted to #eddie munson backstory #i gave him a life oops #domestic violence #child abuse #homophobia #stay safe yall

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sunbunzie · 1 year ago

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Hot Take: Hero would not forgive Sunny and Basil. (MAJOR SPOILERS!)

Last warning for spoilers :3 Also longevity warning. This thing is 1118 words total. lmao. Also if you’re expierencing thoughts about suicide, please reach out. (TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, A POV of depression, Omori stuff man this game makes me want to sob) The truth about Mari is that Mari didn’t take her own life- Sunny pushed her down the stairs accidentally. Witnessing this, a panicked Basil decides to “help” Sunny by framing Mari’s death as suicide, hanging our dearest Mari on a tree bu a jumprope, making everyone believe she committed suicide.

Little, innocent Aubrey thought she committed suicide. Our rau of sunshine Kel thought she committed suicide. And Mari’s dear lover, our Hero, thought she committed suicide.

Lets talk about Hero’s grief for a bit.

-HEROS GRIEF-

As stated by KEL in the game, Hero refused to get out of bed, go to school, eat, and other important things because of Mari’s death. This lasted for about a year.

Kel then continues on to say that he tried to get Hero out of bed one day, saying how everyone misses him and such. Hero responds negatively to this, still stuck in a abyss of depression. The more Kel tried to encourage him, the more and more upset Hero gets, until the point where he snaps at his on brother.

“He suddenly got up and started screaming and yelling at me about a bunch of stuff. Some of it eas pretty hurtful too..”

-KEL

We all know, under any other circumstance, Hero would never say anything mean or hurtful to Kel. Even sibling-to-sibling “bullying” doesn’t apply to these two. They care for each other enough to never say anything mean.

But under this circumstance, Mari is gone. Hero loved Mari. And now she was gone. But Hero was still alive. (/ref lmao.) He became so overcome with grief and sadness that he just unpiled it onto young Kel, who was only trying to help. Luckily, after their parents be literal bitches and ignore Kel crying and comfort Hero, Hero comes to his senses and apologizes to Kel over and over. Hero seems to get better after this.

“Eventually, mom and mom ran to our room and rushed over to hug him to calm him down.

-(cut part because this isnt a kel analysis post. sorry buddy you gotta wait your turn)

“I think that’s when HERO got his senses back, because he ran to me and hugged me right away.

“Just kept apologizing over and over..

”But.. at least HERO got a lot better after that. He started taking care of himself again..”

BUT OF COURSE we know he really didn’t get better. When Hero joins your party, at first he doesn’t want to go to Mari’s grave. Whenever Sunny tried to go there, Hero stops him by saying he isn’t ready yet.

When we do get there however, its then revealed that Hero never realky visited Mari’s grave. Probably because it hurt to think about her. Every day, every waking moment he was reminded of her, and he couldn’t stop her from leaving him. Four yeare, four years he blamed himself for Mari’s suicide, thinking and forcing himself to believe that it was all his fault because he didn’t see the signs to stop her from leaving…

Except there were no signs.

Mari never chose to leave them.

She never chose to take her life.

She didnt take her own life.

Instead, the one who took her life..

Was her brother, Sunny.

-THE TRUTH-

While we have absolutely no idea what happens after the good ending/any of the endings (well we know Sunny moved and left Basil to pick up the scraps 💀 we’ll save that for another post), since this fandom is so goddamn immersed we do have enough to make a theory about each friend.

A lot of people say they would all forgive Sunny and Basil eventually, but I think the case is different with Hero. Which is probably what you’re here for actually, so let’s just set the claim:

Hero will NOT be able to forgive Sunny and Basil, and he might never be able to forgive them.

This is because of Hero’s Grief.

Imagine that you loved someone dearly (could be platonic for all you aromantic besties) and they committed suicide.

Imagine you spent four years blaming yourself, grieving, asking yourself “why” every single day, because there was nothinf you could do to stop them, you didnt see the signs, you thought everything was fine with them, but you were wrong, and you failed them. You’d call yourself the worst lover/best friend to ever exist, beating yourself into a mindset that they never loved you, or if they did, they didnt love you enough to stick around, and that impacted your life so badly that you almost starved yourself and starting saying mean things to your family/those who are trying to help.

Now imagine that..

And then crumple it up and throw it away.

Everything was a lie. You thought they killed themselves, but in the end someone else was responsible for their death. Someone else took their life. Someone else made you believe that they hung themselves and that you failed and that you’re a failure and that you don’t deserve to live while they’re gone.

Sure, the whole thing was an acccident, but either way that grief was all for NOTHING. Ever bad thought, every remark, every meal skipped, every day spent in bed was a waste. You never had anything to blame yourself for. It was never your fault. And the two people reponsible had hidden it for four years.

Hell, screw what I said before about it beibg an accident. The pushing was accidental, but the hanging wasnt. Of course, Basil was a scared kid, but why wasnt the ambulance the first thing in mind? Why did they frame her? Why did Sunny let him do it?

Some people argue that Hero forgave Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, but that was different. Yes, they were both impulses of anger, but Basil had time to survive. People were there. You can get water out of people’s lungs. You can’t fix a broken neck.

And also, Aubrey had more witnesses. She wouldn’t have been able to frame it as anything, because the whole town would probably know about it within a few days (Gossiptown fr💀). If Basil died in the lake, there wouldn’t have been a hidden truth. There wouldnt have been lies. No four years of thinking Basil drowned himself. Because they already knew.

Now I’d suspect if Basil did actually die, the forgiveness wouldnt be so quick. (Someone better make a fanfic of that scenario /nf)

AND SO THE TL;DR IS: Hero would not forgive Sunny and Basil, because what it did to him was too mentally draining, and the lies were too much. No matter how much he would think about how it affected them, he would only ever be able to think about his grief and the consequences.

Again, this is my personal theory, but feel free to peacefully argue with me! Or give more details :0

Thanks for reading all of this, if you did! If y’all want to suggest things for me to analyze just use the asks thingy :3 or get me to talk about headcannons. I love headcannons.

#omori #omori game #hero omori #the truth omori #it took me three tries to post this #omori analysis #listening to stay soft by mitski hehe #i kin hero so badly omg #my phones about to die i spent a lot of time writing this #tumblr deleted my original intro so i had to rewrite it. sorry if it’s awkward.

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myloveforhergoeson · 6 months ago

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Hiya! 😊 You're now a writer for the show. What three episode storylines are you gonna write? (In other words, what are you gonna make the boys do?)

ohm y god i literally have so many episode ideas but i'll try not to repeat any of the ones i've made posts about (except my first bullet bc im so passionate about it) so i'll give you my big list. most if not all will likely be something i DO end up writing about in my own story because ehehe i love making them do things

ones i think i've mentioned before:

a returning to minnesota chapter!! not for anything but nostalgia, getting to see the guy's favorite places, seeing their friends and families, bringing them back to realize how far they'd come. not so shy spon for my fic but i wrote a chapter like this last month and it's probably one of my favorite things i've written to date. it let me explore some of the boys' past, family dynamics, a little bit about Katie and agh i can't believe btr didn't capitalize on that at least once. ik its expensive to fund sets and hire new actors but idk i imagine it like an hour special where they could afford to shell out a bit more. idc when it happens, could be after they sign their record contract or the last episode or whatever :)

sketch comedy episode, something akin to saturday night live or so random

graduation! like you and i talked about lol i think it would be sweet

get me in the writers room stat:

originally i'd planned a "home alone lost in new york" like chapter for my story around thanksgiving where the boys are going to perform at the parade in town but they end up having their own adventure around the city beforehand. boyish antics, screaming gustavo, beautiful scenes, the works. i was just in too much of a slump to actually put it to paper :)

more tour-focused chapters (again, spon for my own fic lol) the episode in Canada was cute and the one on the bus was fun but idk there's just so many elements toward touring that i think they could've capitalized on; homesickness (for CA or MN), hardship of a go go go schedule, or fun things like being able to travel with your best friends and not ending up on the world's most wanted list lol. i know they tried really hard with this one so i don't blame them too much but my vision is just different and that's okay!

crossovers! while i'm so very happy dan schnider didn't have either of his disgusting hands in big time rush, i do remember watching the icarly/victorious crossover for the first time and wishing big time rush were there. it takes place in LA! the victorious kids are singers! carly, sam, and Freddie are pop culture experts! it would've worked really well :) so i'm writing that as a chapter for my fic LMAO

generally either an episode focusing in on or more scenes including james and lucy since the writers wanted them to be together so bad. inherently there's nothing wrong with them being together, but i do not think the relationship was given enough time to develop. give me lucy discovering her feelings for him, give me james not being creepy and obsessive about her; something more needed to be done on both of their parts to make me believe in it

additionally on that note more with jo/kendall and logan/camille; i love them both but they also had little development, just more than james/lucy. maybe they give carlos a gf (not alexa IMO, sorry. that got into weird territory for me idk why they made him be with a "real" person when he isn't other than they were already together irl) earlier and they can all have like conversations about their gfs and how much they love being together idk

and another generally, there were many songs btr put out that i love so much and feel like deserved their own episodes for hehe. i know not all of them have storylines easily transposed but i think they used confetti falling like four different times in the last season when any other love song from their third album could have been placed instead

and also another generally, and i know the early 2000s would've never allowed this for children's television but they should have and i'm the writer now!!!, but more representation all around. maybe some episodes about cultural heritage that didn't make stereotypes the main focus, canon LGBTQIA+ characters, holidays that aren't christmas, aspects like that where all kids can see themselves represented... LA is such a huge melting pot, it's not all white kids trying to make their dreams come true!

good god that was long SORRY AKJBSKJGBAB i have a lot to say and there's a lot im trying to incorporate into my story to add in what i think enhances the already present storyline. that's what's so beautiful about fandom, i love that we can have conversations like this :)

but what about you? anything you'd like to add in? i'd love to know <3 thank you for the question!

ask me a question! save my life!

#chats with ash #ash talks tasw #cant-get-enough-btr-forever

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im-literally-so-dun · 2 months ago

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idk why I'm posting this on main, but have a drabble-

Sleepwalking

Aislinn shoved her hands deeper into her hoodie pocket, and glanced around herself, looking at the dull concrete buildings, the noisy, rushed people, the scraggly trees poking out of their pots on the sidewalk, the smelly trash littering the street…. She shook her head, pulling the oversized gray hood up so she could hide better, and sped up. Almost to the library. It was safe there, not so loud and hot and busy and overwhelming as the outside. “No-” She muttered, shaking her head harder. “Can’t think like that anymore...” The doctor had said she couldn’t think of the world- the real, actual world- as the outside anymore. That was bad for her, it encouraged her to project, to mix a daydream and the outside. Linn wasn’t sure why it was bad, she wasn’t doing it to hurt herself, just to make the world look prettier. Like… she slowed and spotted a tired-looking woman in a wrinkled suit sitting on a bench at a bus stop, scrolling on her phone. Linn concentrated for a second, and suddenly, the bench wasn’t rusted anymore. It was painted a vivid, perfect deep green. The tree next to the bench was suddenly taller, healthier-looking. Its green leaves stretching skyward, instead of drooping like they’d been doing an instant ago. There were flowers growing next to the bench, and the junk food wrappers that had been scattered on the ground were gone. The sun shone more brightly and Linn didn’t feel as small and afraid now. The tired woman looked happier, her face less careworn. She was almost smiling and her clothes looked freshly ironed. Aislinn half sighed longingly. She missed this... What was wrong with it? All she was doing was making the world prettier, a happier place, where no one was ever unhappy, or got hurt, or di— She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing hard against the sudden ache in her throat. No no no, not that word, not that word— "Aislinn? Hurry up,” Her brother yelled, snapping her back into the o- no, back into the real world. “Sorry,” she mumbled, realizing she’d stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and had been staring into space. Linn caught up to Alex, and mumbled an apology again. “Sorry, I… I was…” she shook her head. “Never mind.” Mom hadn’t told him what she did and she wasn’t allowed to talk about it to him. Better to just shut up. The doctor would probably be happier if she didn't explain it, anyway. He probably thought it'd make her forget about her world if she didn't talk about it. Alex rolled his eyes, and dragged her off to the library. “You’re weird,” “Thanks,” she mumbled, following him and hating this noisy, rushed, monotone outside world. The library was a welcome break from the noise, the mess, the... everything… that was the real world. It was so quiet, so clean, so bright, so perfect. Almost like her world had been, except Destiny wasn’t here. She could forget that, though. At least, for a little while. And she did. Linn found a book and curled up in a chair, hiding in the pages, projecting herself into the story world, letting the colors and words and people swirl around her, letting herself forget the outside for a while. After who knew how long, Alex shook her, shattering the projection, the colors and people fading into the library’s reading nook. “Mom wants us back by five, remember?” He said impatiently, brushing his dark bangs out of his eyes. “Yeah,” she said, standing and grabbing her stack of books, then trailing Alex to the checkout area.

They checked their books out, then Alex was dragging her through the busy streets again and she didn’t have time to try to fix all the gray and mess, because he was so fast, and then they were home, and it was dinner time, then before she knew it, Linn was sitting on her bed in pajamas, staring at the bottles. There were two of them. She couldn't remember what they were called, couldn't tell what they did, or what they were supposed to do. They just made her head fuzzy, like she was always half asleep. She never had the energy to think about fixing things then, because concentrating on doing school or whatever took all her energy. Linn knew the drugs were wearing off now, because her mind was sharp, clear, she could almost see all the changes she’d make in her room right now, and there— there was the biggest one next to her. “Destiny,” she whispered, her eyes welling with tears as she turned slightly, looking at the spot on her bed that her best friend—no, her figment. The spot that her lie had sat on so many times before. Linn wasn’t allowed to think Destiny back, that was bad for her, made her forget the outside, get lost in her world… That was the funny thing, though. The doctor had said if she took the medication, it’d make her forget her world, help her focus on the outside. But it hadn’t done that. All it did was make her feel half asleep, and fuzzy. Like sleepwalking, kind of. She felt more like she was stuck in a dream when she took it than when she projected her own world. Her world was so beautiful, so sharp and clear and it felt so real, more real than the outside ever had. At least, since…. since Dad. “I just wanna go back,” she whispered, hugging her knees and resting her forehead on them. “Linn, baby?” Mom asked quietly. The door creaked and a sliver of light fell across her, and Linn had to force herself not to fix it. “Oh honey, are you all right?” Linn heard the bed creak and the mattress dipped, then Mom’s arms were around her, holding her, warm, comfortable, safe, and…. real. “I just wanna go back, mama,” she whispered. “I miss Destiny, I miss making things the way I wanted them…” “Honey… I know it’s hard, but it’s not real. It’s a lie,” Mom sounded cautious, like she didn’t want to hurt her. She couldn’t hurt Linn, nothing could, because the drugs took that away. They kind of made her feelings sort of… flat? Things didn’t hurt anymore, not since Destiny had left. She just felt empty. And empty didn't hurt. Right? “I know… But I like it better,” she said. “And the medicine makes me feel like I’m dreaming more than I ever made myself feel. I know that doesn’t make sense.” Mom hugged her tighter. “I’m sorry, baby girl. Maybe we can get different medicine? And… I think you maybe need a real friend. That’s what you really want, right?” She thought for a second, then nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been dreaming kinda since Destiny…. went away. I want a real friend, one who won’t go away. Not like the others.” “I know.” Mom’s voice was quiet again. “We can try to find you one, but it won’t be easy. Friendships are hard, Linn.” She nodded again. “I know. Maybe I’ll like the outside better when I have a friend.” A reason to live in it, instead of in my mind, she added silently. “I bet you will,” Mom said, still holding her. Mom was another reason to live in the outside. She wasn’t as nice as her version of Mom had been, but she was really real. And she was better than Linn's version of Mom. Maybe a real best friend would be better than Destiny had been. Destiny couldn’t really hug her and a real friend could do that. Maybe it was time to move on. Maybe she'd get used to not having her world anymore. Maybe she needed to just live in the outside, finally.

#I'm sorry y'all #ik this isn't the content you signed up for #deal with it #nepenthe #my writing #missy's scribbles

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craftycheetah · 2 years ago

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Taught to Love Again 4

I just realized i never posted this or the chap after!! Life grabbed me by the throat lol.

Somehow by sheer luck, Hitoshi convinced Shouta to take the trip. After leaving the cats with a reputable pet daycare, the train tickets are bought, and you’re off in a cozy cabin Hitoshi was more than kind enough to use his pro hero status to get.

“Wat dat?” Kokoro points at a snow-covered mountain through the window.

“That’s Mount Ushiro. When we get to Hyogo, we’re gonna get to see it up close,” you grin.

“Woah!”

“We’re gonna be staying there too. If you’re lucky you might see a little bunny.”

“For real life?! I wanna see bunny!”

“Me too!” Nico says from the seat on the opposite aisle.

The train stops at the station, prompting you to get your things and get off.

“Ooh, this is nice,” Hitoshi comments at the white landscape.

“Just wait until you get to the resort.”

“It’s freezing,” Shouta grumbles into his black scarf, pulling his yellow parka hood over his head. “Can we hurry?”

“There should be a car waiting for us. Let’s go.”

“Finally, ah don’t wanna get any colda than ah already am!” Sika huffs.

The ball Amelie is holding falls out of her hands and rolls under a black van parked by the curb. “Ball!”

“Ami don’t run into the street,” Sika scolds and grabs her hand. “John?”

John pushes the side of the car onto two of its wheels and kicks the ball out before dropping the car. “Here you go, sweetie.”

The owner of the car steps out, dazed. “What the fuck?!” She yells in Kansai. “Ya can’t just fucking lift peoples cars, the fuck is wrong with ya?!”

“Ahm sorry, mah neice’s ball rolled under yer car,” you apologise.

“Holy shit, yer MindJack, ahm supposed to pick ya up, sorry.” She bows.

“You had yer husband lift up the fuckin’ car of our driver?”

“You wanted me to leave mah baby’s ball in tha street like that? Hell no! How was ah supposed ta know?”

You roll your eyes and wheel your suitcase forward. “She’s taking us to the resort,” you tell the rest of your group.

The rest of them nod and start placing their things in the back of the van, and John and Shouta open the door helping Eri and the kids get into the van.

Once the kids are all strapped in, you sit in the second row with Hitoshi and Koko as you hear Shouta chuckle as Ami babbles and squeals, trying to play with him.

He lets her hold his hand the whole drive.

“Ma said to come over when we settle in,” Sika says as she types on her phone. “She’s making dinner.”

“Ooh, I hope it’s hot pot,” you smile.

“Mama, when we gets to the moontan, we see bunny?”

“Maybe, Koko. They’re white like the snow so they’re very hard to see, but we might see a deer.”

“Ooh!”

Once you arrive at the resort and get your rooms in order, you take the short bus ride to your childhood home.

“This is a lovely home,” Hizashi comments.

“Thank you,” you smile and ring the doorbell. A dog barks inside, and you hear footsteps approaching the door.

‘Down Anzu.’

Hina opens the door and smiles when she sees you. “Mah babies! Come in, come in!”

She steps aside, letting the ten of you in to take off your coats. The old Shiba Inu wags his tail happily, licking your hands and sniffing the kids' faces. Cocoa Puff yips happily and sniffs Anzu before running into the house.

“Welcome!” Hina smiles, hugging Hizashi and Shouta before giving an equally tight hug to Eri. “You must be Hitoshi’s family, it’s so nice to meet you,” Hina grins.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Eri smiles.

“Hai Mama mama!” Koko waves as he holds onto Hitoshi’s hand.

“Hi Koko,” Hina giggles as he waddles over for a hug. “Hi Hitoshi.”

He lets her hug him. “Hi Mrs. L/n.”

Hina turns towards the kitchen door. “Ahimitsu, the girls are here!”

A tall man with salt and pepper hair walks in, hands behind his back as he undoes his apron. “Hi girls,” Ahimitsu smiles.

You and Sika rush over and hug him. “Hi Dad,” Sika smiles while you just squeeze him tighter.

“Hi Sika. Hi Y/n.”

“Granpa!” Nico squeals as you pull away, running over to get his hug.

Ahimitsu bends down and picks up Nico, kissing his cheek and smiling. “Is that Nico?! Oh you’ve gotten so big! You’re getting too heavy for grandpa.”

If Hitoshi thought you looked just like your mom, he was wrong because you and your dad could be the same person.

“Gapa!” Amelie squeals waddling up to Ahimitsu, and hugs his lower thigh as he puts down Nico.

You call Koko over. “Koko, this is my dad.”

Kokoro walks up to you and looks up at Ahmitsu. “This Mama Daddy?”

You nod as he waves shyly.

“And this is my boyfriend, Shinsou and his family.”

“You remember, the heroes,” Hina says.

“I remember, ahm not an idiot.”

“Well sometimes ya forget. Come on Sika, let’s finish up dinner.”

“Why do ah gotta cook? Ain’t we guests?”

“Get in the damn kitchen,” Hina glares.

“I’ll help,” John offers.

Hitoshi nervously shakes Ahimitsu’s hand. “Nice to meet you sir.”

“You too, been waiting to meet you since Hina mentioned my baby started dating.”

“Oh God…” you groan. “Dad.”

“I’m just saying! Nice to meet you all, come on into the living room.”

You lead the rest of them into the living room as Hitoshi sits beside your Dad on the couch.

“I’m gonna go help my mom,” you announce and disappear into the kitchen.

“So, you’re number fifteen in the hero rankings, that's quite an accomplishment.”

“Thank you sir,” Hitoshi says proudly before sitting on the couch next to Shouta. “If don’t mind me asking, what do you do?”

“Well,” he starts. “I was one of the top realtors in Hyogo for fifteen years straight until I got old and slowed down.”

“You're not slowing down, Mr. L/n. You just need an assistant. I used to think the same thing juggling pro hero work, being a radio host, and teacher,” Hizashi chuckles.

“Don't forget musician babe,” Shouta adds.

“I was hoping my girls would take after me but what happened? They left for the big city and never see their old man anymore,” he says loud enough for both you and Sika to hear.

“Ah went up to college, Papa and y'know I had to go!” you shout back.

Ahimitsu chuckles at your response before picking up Ami as she waddles up to him, seating her on his lap. “So any plans for little ones, Shinsou?”

Hitoshi ignores the smug look on Eri’s face as she grins.

“Well we’ve talked about it a couple of times so it’s a huge maybe but we’d have to get married first.”

“And when is that happening?”

“Uhh, sometime in the next five years hopefully. Maybe.”

“Can I be the flower girl?” Eri giggles.

“You’re too old,” Hizashi chuckles and messes up her bun.

“Ami can do it, can’t you?” Ahimitsu asks the toddler in his lap.

“Yah,” she agrees, not really sure what she’s agreeing to.

Hina walks in with a grey tray carrying a pitcher of lemonade and glasses. “Ya better not be bugging the poor boy, Mitsu.”

“Ahm not!”

Kokoro runs up to Hitoshi. “Daddy, me and Nico pway wif doggies outside?”

“Oh, you found Anzu. Anzu’s a sweetie, he won’t harm anyone. You can go play with him in the backyard,” Hina says. “I’ll take you.”

Koko nods and follows after her, holding her hand.

“Cocoa Puff, lessgo,” Nico calls the pup to follow him outside.

“So, lemonade anyone?” Mitsu asks.

“I’ll have one,” Shouta responds.

An hour later, the huge dinner spread was ready. You and Sika walk in and put the pot, ingredients, and bowls on the living room kotatsu while Hina comes in with the boys and Anzu.

“Your hair’s all wet, Koko,” you tut and adjust his headband.

“I falls down,” he giggles.

“Falls down a lot,” Nico giggles. “I falls too though. We make angels too.”

“That explains the wet hair,” Sika sighs. “You can’t be putting your head on the ground, Nico. Your hair gets dirty easily.”

“Sowwy.” He doesn’t sound sorry.

“We play wif doggies!” Koko tells you and sits between you and Hitoshi, tucking his legs under the kotatsu.

“Sounds like you had a lot of fun, bud,” Hitoshi says.

“Doggies nice and lub snow!”

“He was my dog when I was a teenager,” you tell Kokoro.

Anzu sighs tiredly and plops next to the fireplace.

“You wore him out,” Ahimitsu chuckles.

“Damn dog doesn’t wanna die,” Sika mumbles.

“Let ‘im live his life. He’s a good boy.” Hina laughs and picks up a slice of raw beef to give Anzu. “Good boy.”

Anzu’s tail wags at the praise before he lays down again on his back, warming his belly.

Amelie fusses until she gets to sit on Shoutas lap, patting the table and clapping happily.

“We should get another one,” Hizashi coos.

“No,” Shouts deadpans. “No more.”

“Okay, relax.”

Dinner is nice. The hotpot you put together is yummier than anything that Hitoshi’s eaten in a while.

After cleaning up, you all stay under the kotatsu for hot cocoa and satsumas while the kids play with Anzu and Cocoa Puff by the fireplace.

“I’m dying of cuteness, look what Mrs. Bakugou posted on Dyna__Bites,” Sika coos and shows you the video of what looks like Hiro in a puffy red and black red riot baby jacket.

‘Popsicle, do you like the snow?’ Iwa’s voice asks off camera.

Hiro whines as he stands stiffly while Popcorn and Pop tart play in the background with their dog.

‘Can you say snow?’ Katsuki asks him.

Hiro whines louder in response.

“Oh no,” you giggle.

‘Snow?’ Katsuki repeats and Hiro falls onto his back. ‘Oh shit!’

Hiro starts wailing and flailing his tiny arms before Iwa rushes into frame to help him up. ‘Guess that’s a no on the snow.’

You and Sika laugh at the video. “Poor kid.”

“But that was so cute,” you smile, rewatching it fondly.

You idly eat your orange, occasionally sputtering when you bite into the rind.

You feel a small weight on your back, looking over and not seeing Ami with the boys so you assume it’s her.

“Hi Ami,” you giggle.

“Ahtie, hai,” she squeals and comes round to hug you. “Wa do?”

“Just relaxing with your mama.”

“I do too! Hai mama,” she giggles.

“Hi baby,” Sika smiles and pushes her cup away from Ami trying to get it. “No, this is mommy’s drink.”

You look over at Hitoshi and giggle when Ami pats you eagerly and giggles when you kiss her cheek.

“Shinsou, would you like some Baileys in your cocoa?” Ahimitsu asks as he opens up the bottle.

“Oh, no thanks.”

“I’ll take it,” John says and holds his half empty cup out.

“Just say when.”

“Just fill it up, I’m really tired. It was a nightmare trying to get my christmas break, I had to put it in four months in advance.”

“Wow. Four months in advance just to put in time for a week off. Poor guy.”

Hitoshi smiles fondly as you tickle Ami. ‘She’s so good with kids.’

A hand on his shoulder snaps Hitoshi out of his trance.

“Hitoshi,” Shouta calls out softly before tilting his head towards the kitchen entryway.

Pulling his legs from under the kotatsu, Hitoshi follows Shouta out of the room.

“Yeah, Dad?”

“I see the way you’ve been looking at Y/n. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just giving you some advice. Don’t rush into this, okay. Take it slow so that nobody gets hurt. Koko doesn't deserve to lose a mom twice in his life.”

“I won’t. But thanks for the advice, Dad.”

After Cocoa, it’s time to go back to the resort.

“We should rent a car,” you grumble and squeeze in next to Sika in Hina’s station wagon.

“I’ll do it,” John says and helps Nico into Ahimitsu’s jeep.

“Make sure it’s big enough for everyone,” Sika tells him and shuts the door.

“Just us girls now,” Hina grins and starts the car.

“I hope Dad doesn’t drive them off a cliff.”

“He won’t…hopefully.”

“Um, Miss Y/n?”

“Yeah Eri?”

“My dads and ‘toshi…they’ll be okay right?”

“Oh they’ll be fine, my dad’s a great driver,” you reassure her and look at Sika who’s grimacing. “Don’t worry.”

“She says like she don’ remember what happened with the deer an’ tha phone pole,” Hina scoffs in Kansai.

“What did she say?”

“The guys will be fine,” you smile, ignoring the eyeroll from your mom and sister.

You get to the resort just after the guys who’re a little shaken up.

“Dad, Papa, are you okay?” Eri asks as she steps out of the car noticing their flushed faces.

Hizashi holds onto Shouta, trying not to vomit, nodding softly.

“We had a bumpy ride,” Shouta explains.

John throws up on the sidewalk. “I drank too much.”

“Oh, ew,” Sika cringes. “I mean, poor baby.”

“My tummy hurt,” Nico whines.

“Let’s get you both inside.” She ushers then into the resort.

Ami reaches for Eri as you hold her. “Ahwee!”

The mono-horned girl turns around. “Hmm? Aww, are you trying to say my name?”

“Ahwee!” she giggles.

“Can I hold her?”

You nod and coo when Amelie pats her nose and giggles.

“Booo!”

Eri smiles and boops her back. “Boop!” she giggles.

Kokoro hugs your legs, yawning. “Sweepy.”

“Your dad is an awful driver, babe,” Hitoshi chuckles.

“I know, let’s go inside before we catch a cold. Bye Mom and Dad.” You wave at your parents.

You watch them climb back into the cars and start driving down the road before picking up Koko and walking inside up to the apartment you’re staying in.

You get the couch pull out bed ready with the extra sheets while Hitoshi gives Koko a nice warm bath and gets him dressed for bed.

After using one of the open bathrooms to shower and change, you step out just as you see Hitoshi straighten up from his suitcase, wearing nothing but his black sweats.

You yawn softly and climb into bed with him. “Hey,” you smile tiredly.

Hitoshi kisses your forehead as you rest your head on his chest. “Hi,” he hums. “You okay?”

“I’m tired. Sleepy.”

“Your dad grilled me so much I think I need a week to recover.”

“What’d he say?”

“Future plans and stuff.”

You hum tiredly. “He likes you.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm, a lot…” you trail off and fall asleep.

“I’m glad he does. I was ho–babe?”

Hitoshi smiles softly, trying not to laugh when he sees you fast asleep on his chest.

“Sweet dreams.”

The next morning, you all drag yourselves out of the rooms into the open kitchen for breakfast.

“What the fuck is that?” Sika drawls when she sees Shouta’s sleeping bag.

“My sleeping bag,” Shouta says like it’s the most obvious thing ever.

“…it’s eight A.M…”

“Okay?”

‘Weirdo…he’s still hot though,’ Sika thinks before going to the fridge to get eggs.

Nico and Amelie whine in protest as John carries them in by their feet, not wanting to get out of bed.

“Daddy no! Wanna sweep!” Nico whines.

“No Dada!” Amelie shouts.

“Hey, you two can’t sleep all day,” he scolds and puts them on the dining room chairs.

Nico tries to make a run for it but quickly gets caught by John.

“Sit down.”

“Hmph,” Nico huffs and sits, crossing his arms.

“The joys of parenting,” Hizashi sighs.

“Mischievous little brats,” Shouta chuckles. “There was this one time I was training with Hitoshi and teaching him to use his capture weapon and he ended up wrapping himself in a cocoon.”

“What’re we talking about?” Hitoshi yawns as he walks in wearing a pale gray tank top with last night’s sweats.

“Nothing,” Sika snickers. “Good morning.”

Hitoshi grunts in acknowledgment before looking for the coffee pot to fill with water, noticing the fancy coffee maker with a drawer labelled coffee pods underneath. “Ooh, fancy coffee. Dad, look.”

“You had me at coffee.”

“Hai,” Koko greets everyone and goes to sit with Nico and Ami.

“Ma’ll meet us at the ski lodge,” you tell everyone and flick the kettle on to make tea. “Why am I so tired still?”

“Did you stay up late?” Sika asks.

“No?”

“When was the last time you got to relax?”

“Uhh before I started working at Kurume. Keeping twenty kids with crazy quirks in check is ridiculous.”

“Oh, Y/n, no,” Sika sighs. “You need to relax this week.”

“I’ll try.”

“If you want stress-free hang out with Eri for a bit. She’s pretty chill,” Hitoshi suggests and rests his chin on top of your head.

Eri smiles at you.

You smile back. “That would be nice.”

After breakfast, you put on a new outfit you’ve been meaning to wear for a while.

“Okay, do you hate it?” You ask Hitoshi. “Say no or I'll cry.”

Hitoshi looks up from his phone as he sits on the edge of the bed and his eyes widen. “Wow…”

“I look horrible, don’t I,” you groan.

“Y/n, c’mere,” he sighs as you walk over. He pulls you closer so you stand between his legs. “You’re beautiful. This outfit is adorable and the colours suit you. Makes your ass look nice too.”

“Hitoshi!” you gasp when he playfully squeezes your ass and grins at you. “I got Koko a matching jacket too but what if he hates it.”

“If it’s from you, he’ll love it.”

Kokoro runs in, flopping on the bed. “Hai!”

“Woah, toddler attack!” Hitoshi chuckles as Koko flops next to him.

“Hai Daddy! Hai Mama!” he giggles. “What you do? Ooh, Mama pebby!”

“Thank you, Koko,” you smile and walk up to your suitcase on the floor. “I have something for you.”

“Me?”

“Yup.” You take out the mini version of your jacket. “It’s a jacket like mine.”

“Wowee!” He gasps. “I lub it!”

Hitoshi helps him out of his regular purple jacket so you can put him into your olive green one.

“Ooh, you look so handsome,” you giggle and zip it up.

“Now I has Mama and Daddy jaket! I go show ganpa?”

“Yeah, go show him.”

He holds your hand. “We go show ganpa.”

“Oh, you want me to come? Okay,” you giggle, walking with him towards the living room where Shouta’s watching cat videos with Hizashi on the big screen.

“Ganpas! Lookie.” Koko stands in front of them to show his jacket. “Mama gots me jaket like hers.”

You fan your face as your cheeks warm, waving softly as Koko does a little proud pose.

“Wow Koko, you look so handsome,” Shouta chuckles.

Hizashi nods, looking at the olive green. “You look so cute, little listener,” he chuckles.

“Tank yew,” he giggles. “Now we show Ahtee Eri and then Nico!”

You try not to laugh as Koko drags you around the cabin showing everyone his gift.

“Not you stealing my boots,” Sika huffs and shows you her same red moon boots. “Of course you would.”

“I had these first,” you scoff, sticking your tongue at her before walking with him back to Hitoshi’s room.

“Mama?”

“Yes Koko?”

“I lub you. Tank yew for my gif,” he smiles,hugging your waist.

You try not to cry at the display of affection. “Love you too.”

“What took you so long!” Hina yells when your little group approaches the lodge.

“We’re tired, Ma,” Sika sighs.

“What’re you wearing? Ya look like a hooker.”

Sika adjusts her coat and dusts off her bodysuit. “Good.”

“Ya look fat. Ya pregnant again?”

“Ugh! Ma!”

Mitsu hugs Sika sideways. “Ya look perfect as always, darlin’.”

“Thank you Daddy,” Sika smiles.

“You look good Y/n,” Hina smiles. “Wait, did you get this little man a matching jacket?! It’s so cute! His purple hat too,” she squeals as Koko shyly hides his face in your leg.

You pat Koko’s head and smile softly. “Thanks. Now let’s go.”

“We ski?” Nico asks John.

“It’ll be the first time, but yeah. Let’s go to the rental shop.”

“Have any of you skied before?” Hitoshi asks.

“We used to as kids,” you tell him. “Cause Ma thought it’ll look good in pictures.”

“It did!” Hina scoffs.

“I broke my arm and had to skip my highschool summer trip,” Sika scoffs.

“But you were both still cute.”

“They still are,” John smiles as Hitoshi hums in agreement.

“Very.”

After getting mini ski gear for Eri and the kids except for Amelie who gets a small sled, a ski instructor is assigned to your group.

“Aren’t you skiing?” He asks Sika outside.

She puts her sunglasses on. “Ew, no. I came here to look cute, that’s it.”

The instructor’s eyes wander along her body. “Well, you're doing a great job at that.”

She hums in acknowledgment and walks away, unaware of the gaze on her body.

The instructor gasps when he feels something grasp his neck.

“I can break your neck in three places right now if I wanted to,” John growls. “Don’t ogle my wife.”

“Y-yes sir, I’m sorry!”

John lets go and pats his head before following his wife.

You zip up Koko’s jacket and tighten the strings. “Be careful, okay?”

“Okie. You watch me?”

“I’ll go with you and watch from the benches over there.” You point at some benches at the bottom of the kiddie hill.

“Promise?”

“Mhm, I’ll take lots of pictures too.” You adjust his hat and goggles. “And don't forget to have fun.”

“Okie!” He waves and runs to the ski instructor waiting with the other kids.

You walk to the bottom and sit on an empty bench, taking your phone out to record Koko as he gets ready. He waves at you and you wave back, snapping a few pictures. Sika plops next to you, holding her jacket closed with one hand and holding a cup of warm cup of warm cocoa in the other. “Fuck me it’s cold!”

“I know you wanted to look cute but that's not a mountain outfit.”

“And that’s why I forced John to give me his jacket.” She waves at John tugging Amelie in her sleigh as Ahimitsu takes pictures.

“Sis, he’ll freeze.”

“He has a second jacket and thermal clothes. He’s fine. He’s trained for this,” she smiles. “Where’s your boo?”

“I think he went to go rent something.”

You look back at your phone and smile as Koko skis down the shallow slope, almost hitting a tree but gets to the bottom. You stop recording and grin when he calls out to you.

“Mama, you see me? I do it!”

“Yes you did, Koko! I’m so proud of you!”

Sika cheers when Nico slowly skis down and comes to a halt at the bottom. “Good job, baby!”

“Yay! Hai Koko!” Nico calls out waving at Koko who’s barely twenty feet away.

“Hai Nico!” Koko giggles, waving back.

“They’re so cute,” Sika smiles.

You look up as Hitoshi walks over, slightly covered in powdery snow with a yellow snowboard in hand. “Hey Toshi,” you smile. “I didn't know you snowboarded.”

“I learnt a while ago for an undercover mission in Switzerland. Broke my leg but it was fun.”

“What other secrets are you keeping from me?”

“Wouldn't you like to know?” he smirks. “Koko come down the hill yet?”

“Yeah, he’s talking with Nico. Oh shit I'm supposed to be taking pictures.” You take a few more and pocket the phone.

Loud laughter from the direction of the rental lodge gets all your attention. Hina and Hizashi walking arm in arm, cackling about something while Shouta looks annoyed walking next to them.

“C’mon Sho, just go down one mountain with me?” Hizashi pleads.

“Stop being so loud,” Shouta groans.

“So grumpy,” Hina mutters. “But we’re gonna get you outta that sour mood.”

“Please don’t.”

“Your mom’s great,” Hizashi grins at you.

“Thank you, Mr. Aizawa,” Hina smiles.

“Call me Hizashi.”

“Now, let’s get this grumpy guy to the lodge bar. They have mulled wine and the best dumplings.”

Shouta gives Hitoshi a look that screams, “save me!”

“Have fun dad,” Hitoshi smiles and waves trying not to laugh at Shouta’s glare.

You look over the boys and smile when you see them hugging before snickering when they fall backwards and flail. “Oh no. Sika, the boys fell again.”

“John!” She yells.

“Yeah?” he calls back.

“The boys!”

John looks over and sees the instructor help them up. “They’re fine.”

“Ami’s running!”

As soon as her father is distracted , the toddler waddles away as fast as she can towards a man with a fluffy husky.

“I’ve got her!” Hitoshi calls out, dropping his snowboard and running after the toddler, picking her up before she gets to the man.

“No!” she squeals, flailing around before looking at Hitoshi. “Wan Doggy!”

“You have a doggy, little one. You can’t go running off like that,” he chuckles as she pouts. “Time for you to go back to your Daddy.”

Ami lets out a ‘hmph’ and pats Hitoshi’s cheek.

“Hey! Don’t hit me,” he chuckles, playfully trying to bite her mittened hand.

Amelie squeals and flails her tiny hands.

“Thanks,” John sighs and takes her back. “Little troublemaker, no candy for you today.”

“Nooooo!” she whines.

You giggle at their antics before feeling Koko patting your leg. “Hmm? Hi, Koko, are you done skiing?”

“Yah, was fun. Wanna be wif you and Daddy.”

“Well, I might go inside to get some cider and I think your Daddy’s gonna go snowboard.”

“We go watch Daddy then get hot joos?”

“Hot juice?”

“Yah hot appa joos!”

“Oh, the hot cider. Yeah we can.”

“Yay!

You, Koko and Hitoshi head to the big slope and wave at Hitoshi getting on the ski lift to the top.

“Can we do that?” Koko points at the lift.

“One day when you’re an expert skier,” you promise him.

“I be best ski!”

You pet his head and walk with him towards the benches near the bottom of the hill after getting some nice warm cider.

“Why daddy ski different?” Koko asks you.

“Because he’s snowboarding, Koko,” you explain.

“Woah! I do?”

“When you’re a little bigger.”

“What I do now?”

“You can sit with me and we can cheer him on?”

“Okie,” Koko grins.

You and Kokoro cheer Hitoshi as he weaves his way between the trees, and not much later skids to a stop near your bench.

“So, how’d I do?”

“Daddy coolest!” Kokoro cheers and runs to hug him. “So amazing, daddy!”

“Definitely the coolest,” you agree and stand up to give him a sip of your cider.

“Mmm, this is good.”

“Right?”

Hitoshi unclips his boots from the board, shaking his leg out. “Harder than I remember.”

“Didn’t look that hard.”

“Really? Try it then.”

“Gladly,” you grin.

He takes off the ski boots and hands them to you in exchange for his regular ones.

“Your big ass feet,” you grumble as you put the shoes on and stand on the board. “Push me.”

“Okay.”

Hitoshi gently pushes you forward and you yelp as you pass over a small rock and wobble, grabbing Hitoshi’s jacket. Unfortunately you fall into the powdery snow with him on top of you.

“Oh no!” Koko yells. “Mama!”

“This feels familiar,” you say between laughs. He can’t help but laugh either, hiding his face in your neck.

“Told you it’s hard.”

“The rock fucked me up.”

“You’ll get the hang of it babe,” Hitoshi chuckles before groaning when Koko plops onto his back.

“Cuddle!” he squeals.

You start laughing as Kokoro nuzzles the other side of your neck.

“Lub you!”

“We love you too, Koko.”

At the lodge restaurant, you all sit at a large table near the fireplace for lunch.

“Koko, do you wanna try my venison?” You cut a small piece of the meat and hold it to his mouth.

“Wat dat?” he asks and sniffs the meat.

“It’s wild deer.”

His face drops. “What?!”

You giggle at his expression. “It’s yummy, try it.”

“No!” He huffs and turns his face. “No eat deer.”

“It’s like eating chicken,” Hitoshi reassures him. “You like chicken. And sushi is fish.”

“It kind of tastes like beef, if that helps. You like beef, right Koko?”

“Beef yummy. Maybe I eat deer,” he mumbles, opening his mouth for you to feed him. “Oh! It guf!”

You smile softly as Koko talks with his mouth full. “Swallow then speak, hun.”

“I likes it!”

Hitoshi ruffles Kokoro’s hair before going back to his chicken ramen.

“Daddy, I has your eggie?”

“I thought you weren’t hungry,” Hitoshi chuckles.

“Peez?”

“Why do you want it, anyway?”

“Share wif Nico.”

You take one off the shrimp tempuras from the plate Nico and Koko are sharing. “But you have your own food with Nico.”

“Ahtie!” Nico whines.

Hina laughs and puts half of her boiled egg on Koko’s plate. “You can have mine, sweetie.”

“Tank yew, gamma!” Koko giggles before giving Nico the yolk while he eats the egg whites.

Hina coos softly and fans her face.

“Ma, you okay?” Sika asks.

“Ahm tryin’ not ta die of cuteness,” she coos.

“What’d she say?” Hitoshi asks.

“Koko’s being too cute for her to handle,” you snicker.

After lunch, the six of you, except for Hina, Ami, Shouta, Eri, and Hizashi who stayed behind for a nap, went on a tour of the forest held by the lodge in hopes of seeing a deer or a bunny.

“Mama, we see bunny?” Koko asks as he holds your hand.

“Maybe hun, but they’re very hard to see.”

Sika points at a snow covered log between the trees at something darting between them. “There’s a weasel over there.”

John flips the guide book open. “Apparently they’re really common here but we can’t touch them.”

“Woah!” Nico gasps.

The tour guide points out the many species of trees and animals living at the bottom of the mountain, encouraging you to stay on the path.

“Wanna see bunny,” Kokoro pouts as he trudges along. You hold your hand out and make a small bunny for him. “Real bunny, mama.”

“Okay, Mr. sassy pants. I’m sure we’ll see one, hun. But if we don’t we can go to the Shibuya petting zoo for a field trip and you can see all the bunnies.”

“Okie,” he pouts.

Further down the path, you walk with Hitoshi, trying to cheer up Koko by showing him some of the birds and squirrels before stopping.

“Hey Dad, look over there,” you snicker, pointing towards a figure in the distance.

“Ooh, Sika, sweetie, look,” Ahimitsu points at some deer walking in a clearing.

“Oh God…” Sika groans.

You crouch down to Kokoro’s level to watch. “Koko look at the deer over there, don’t yell out they’ll run away.”

“Pretty but I want bunny…” he mumbles.

“I know but you wanna know something? It’s a Sika deer.”

“That my mommy name,” Nico giggles. Sika rolls her eyes. John takes a few pictures.

“Dad thought it would be funny to give me that name.”

Mitsu puts his arm around her. “They’re my favourite animal so it makes sense to give my first born their name.”

“And now I always get ‘like the deer?’ whenever I introduce myself,” she scoffs.

“But they’re cute and I don’t mind the love of my life having the same name as a deer,” John smiles, before looking back into the book.

“Thanks babe.”

You follow your tour guide and look back at Hitoshi when he groans. “Hmm? What’s wrong ‘toshi?” you ask.

“Look up ahead,” he sighs.

“Is that Phantom Thief?”

“Kendo’s here? At least he won’t be an entire ass…”

“Shinsou? What a coincidence running into you here!” Neito grins before looking at you and Koko who hides his face in your leg. “Who’s this?”

“That’s my son.”

“Son? Since when do you have a son?”

“Five years ago as of November…”

Neito stares at Koko then you. “Wow, your genes completely hogged him. He looks nothing like mom over here.”

“I’m…not his biological mother,” you explain. “I’m…” You look down at Koko looking up at you expectantly. “His stepmom.”

“No, you Mama,” Koko huffs.

“Thank you, honey.”

“So you got married?”

“No, Monoma, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Right. So why’re you all the way in Hyogo?”

Hitoshi gestures to your family. “Family time. What about you?”

“Same. Itsuka’s from here too so we’re visiting her family.”

Hitoshi looks around for her familiar orange hair. “Where is she?”

“Think she went ahead to see some deer.”

Sika clears her throat. “We’re gonna do the same, see you two at the bottom.”

John scoops up Nico and follows Sika down the trail, Ahimitsu behind them.

“Well, now that we’re alone, we can look for the bunny,” you smile, making Koko squeal. “Let’s go.”

Kokoro runs ahead and falls down, flailing his feet.

“Koko!” You right him back up. “You okay?”

“Mhm. We see bunny!”

“Let’s try and look for bunny tracks, if we’re lucky we can find a den.”

“I’m gonna go with them. It was nice seeing you and tell Itsuka I said hi,” he nods before following you and Koko.

You walk further up the trail looking off to the side and stop when you see something rustle in the bushes near a clearing. “Koko, ‘toshi, c’mere!” you whisper-shout, crouching and taking out your phone. “I see one!”

Koko waddles over and crouches beside you as you see a white blob hop out of the bushes into the snow, digging in the ground for food before wiping its nose and scampering away. You quickly take a photo.

“Mama! Bunny!” he squeals. “I sees it!”

“It’s so small and cute.”

You smile and pet his head as he hugs you then holds your hand. “Thank you Mama. You the best.”

“You’re welcome, baby. Let’s go back down the mountain.”

“Mow hot joos!”

“We’ll get some after we see them light the Christmas tree in the square,” Hitoshi tells him and takes his other hand.

You and Hitoshi swing his little body, smiling when he squeals as you walk down towards the lodge.

After watching the tree lighting and setting Koko down for bedtime, you rest on the outdoor couch, cuddled in Hitoshi’s arms by the fire pit, soft music playing from one of the speakers.

You look up at Hitoshi as he kisses your temple. “That tickles,” you smile as he kisses along the side of your face.

“Hey, babe?” he mumbles as he squeezes your waist gently.

“Hmm?”

“When we were on the mountain…you called yourself Koko’s stepmom.”

“Did I? Oh. I didn’t know what else to call myself, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t, honestly. I think it’s sweet how much Koko loves you and I’d hope that you would be his mother someday,” he hums, kissing your cheek.

“Oh god, is this a proposal?” You laugh.

“Not yet, babe.”

You snuggle more into him, tilting your head for kisses. The sliding door to the porch opens. “Ew, get a room,” Sika gags.

“Go away,” you huff and throw one of the small pillows at her head. She catches it and throws it back, nailing Hitoshi in the face.

“Ow.”

“Whoops! Sorry, Toshi.”

“It’s fine, it makes me feel like I’m part of the family.”

“You are family. You and Koko.”

“Thank you,” he smiles.

John steps through the door with a tray. “We come with hot cocoa and mini marshmallows.”

“Ooh, I’ll take one!” you call out and pick two of the christmas themed cups and give one to Hitoshi. “These cups are ugly as fuck though.”

“It’s all they had here,” he chuckles.

“This cocoa’s good.”

They settle into the second couch, cuddling up under the red blanket. “Finally put the kids down so I can relax.”

“Nico’s been so energetic lately,” John sighs. “But it makes it easier to put him to bed.”

“I bet you can’t wait until you have one of your own, right sis?” Sika snickers.

“Yeah, I guess. At least I'm getting practice with Koko.”

She hums and stares into her mug of cocoa. “Ahm pregnant again.”

You choke on the cocoa and start coughing, putting the mug down on the glass table.

“Are you okay?” Hitoshi asks and pats your back.

“Fine,” you wheeze and turn back to Sika. “Really?”

She nods. “Found out last week…”

“Oh mah goodness.” You notice her lack of excitement. “What’s wrong? Ya don’t look happy.”

“Ah am, we started tryin’ in late September and ahm excited but ahm nervous too. Ami took a lot outta me and ah dunno if ah can do it again.”

Hitoshi gently shakes you. “What’re you guys talking about?”

“Shh,” you dismiss him. “Y’dont haveta have tha baby, Sika. Does John know?”

“Mhm.”

“It’s okay to get cold feet about another one until yer ready.” You scooch over to hold her free hand. “Ya don’t have ta keep it if ya don’ wanna.”

“Yer, right. John and me will talk about it but don’t tell Ma, y’know how she gets.”

“Ah won’t, ah promise.”

“Thanks.”

“Babe, what happened?”

“Don’t worry about it, Toshi. She was asking for fashion advice,” you lie and settle back on him.

Hitoshi stares down at you before squinting suspiciously. “If you say so.”

The fire is doused close to midnight and after a nice warm bath, you say your goodnights and head to bed, snorting quietly at Koko and Nico sprawled out on the pullout bed for their mini sleepover.

“You smell nice,” Hitoshi murmurs when you climb into bed.

You giggle softly as he reaches over and kisses your neck. “Toshi,” you giggle as he bites softly and starts on a hickey. “Oh.”

His fingers work you open until you’re wet enough for him to climb over you.

You hold back a moan as he pushes into you, trying your best not to wake up the house.

“Fuck, ‘toshi, harder,” you whisper. Your body rocks forward with his thrusts, your fingers linking at the base of his neck for purchase, softly gripping the hair there.

Hitoshi places a pillow between the wall and the headboard before gripping it for leverage to fuck you harder, squeezing your thigh with his free hand.

“Shit, you feel so good, baby,” he groans. “Fuck, keep squuezing me just like that.”

His mouth locks with yours when you cum, swallowing your high moans and cries.

“Good girl,” he whispers into your neck as he feels his orgasm draw closer.

“Toshi, fuck, give me your baby,” you whimper between kisses.

Heat flashes through his body. “What?”

Your ankle locks behind his thigh. “I want your baby. Cum in me.”

“Y/n, do you mean that? You know what happened last time…”

“I’m not her. I love you Hitoshi.”

“You…you do?”

You nod and gasp when he kisses you passionately while thrusting faster. “Oh, fuck, ‘toshi! I’m gonna cum again,” you gasp as he grips your neck.

“Go ahead baby,” he grunts. “I’m not too far behind you.”

You grind your hips up against him as he cums, sending you both over the edge.

“Fuck,” you both shudder.

“I love you too,” he whispers and rolls off you onto his side of the bed. “Damn my back hurts.”

You chuckle tiredly and adjust your crooked bonnet. “Wow. I’m sweating.”

“So…a baby?”

You sit up with a groan, stretching your arms over your head and cracking your back. “I was kidding, Hitoshi. I’ve had an implant for months.”

“Oh…”

“I’m not saying I don’t want one with you ever. Just not now,” you explain. “But it’s fun to pretend to wind you up.”

“You’re a brat,” he chuckles and pulls you back down to playfully bite your cheek. “But you were serious about loving me?”

“Of course. You’re amazing and you come with a cute little bonus,” you giggle.

Hitoshi chuckles and kisses your cheek before going into the bathroom to get a rag to clean you up.

You sigh contentedly when you’re back in bed, clean, snuggling against his chest. “Merry Christmas.”

“It’s midnight already? Wow. Merry Christmas, babe. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The next morning, you gently shake Nico and Kokoro awake. “Boys, wake up, it’s christmas.”

“Huh? Ahtie?” Nico mumbles.

“It’s Christmas. Santa came and left you all a bunch of gifts.”

“It Crimmas!” Nico gasps before trying to wake up Koko who groans softly.

“Koko wake up, Santa came to gve you gifts last night,” you smile, shaking the little boy.

“Santa?” Koko mumbles as he wakes up.

“Mmhm,” you smile.

“Santa!” He cheers and both of them jump up. “Where presents?”

“They’re at my moms house, let’s get you both dressed so we can go.”

“I wear Mama jaket!”

Sika peeks her head in. “Better hurry then, come on Nico.”

“We go!” Nico giggles before running towards Sika’s room to get his clothes and to get a bath from John.

Hina is trying to get you in an ugly christmas sweater as soon as you’re through the door.

“Ma! Stop!”

“It’s tradition! Get in the sweater!”

You begrudgingly take it and put it on, frowning at the red ‘Ho Ho Ho’ in the front. “It’s itchy.”

“Ya look cute, stop complainin’. I got some for the kids too. And Hitoshi and John.”

“You what?” Hitoshi asks, crouching by the tree to help Koko open his present.

Hina holds up a matching sweater.

“Oh shit…”

“No ba wa!” Amelie whines.

After she squeezes all of you into the sweaters, Hina takes a million pictures as you open your presents.

“Ooh, a new iPad,” Sika smiles as she tears the wrapping. “Thanks, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome sweetie,” he smiles.

“Open mine next,” you giggle and give Hitoshi a big box and a smaller one.

He stops scratching his itchy sweater to unwrap the first one. Opening the box, Hitoshi grins when he sees the small purple humidifier and box of essential oils. “Wow, this looks cool.”

“It’s to help you relax after patrols. You can put it in your office too when you do paperwork.”

“Thank you, Y/n,” he smiles. “I love it.”

“Open the other one!”

Kokoro helps him rip open the big one, peeking inside. “Ooh, wat dat?”

“It’s a shiatsu shoulder massager. Your weighted scarf is always around your neck so I thought it would help.”

“Wow, thank you, Y/n,” he smiles.

You kiss his cheek and look at him as he holds out a medium sized gift wrapped box. “This is for you,” he smiles.

“Ooh, I wonder what it is.” Unwrapping it, you gasp excitedly at the pink chocolate mould set. “This is so cute!”

“I know how much you like baking so I got that for you.”

“I love it, thank you.”

“There’s two more, but they’re kinda back in Tokyo.”

“Well, I can’t wait until we get back,” you giggle.

“Daddy, look what ganpa zashee and ganpa zawa get me!” Kokoro giggles as he runs over wearing a new set of gray winter boots.

“Very cute, Koko,” Hitoshi smiles. “They go with your new jacket Y/n gave you.”

“Yah! And Ahtee get me acta figah of you and Wed Wiot.” He holds up the two toys proudly. Hitoshi takes the mini version of himself. “Why do they always make my hair so dark?”

“I think it’s because the reference photos of you are always at night, son,” Shouta chuckles. “They used to make my goggles this mustard yellow and it looked so bad.”

“I think it looks good,” you smile, looking at the figure. “Got the suit just right.”

“Maybe I’ll look into one of those photoshoots…”

After the gift exchanges you sit with Sika as Koko plays with Nico while Ami plays with Shouta, Eri and the dogs.

Hina slots herself next to you and Hitoshi. “So, remember my proposal?”

“I don’t know about five, Ma. Thassa lot. Even fa me,” you laugh nervously.

Sika sips her water nervously.

“But we need lotsa grandbabies runnin’ around! Okay, three’s mah last offer.”

“Y’already have two!”

“An’ we need more,” she counters.

You pinch your nose bridge in exasperation. “Ugh, Ma.”

Shouta nudges you. “What’s she saying?”

“She still wants us to have lots of kids. Ma, we ain’t even married yet.”

“I don’t think I have it in me for more than three,” Hitoshi mumbles. “That’s a lot of tiny feet running around. Koko’s enough of a hassle as it is alone.”

“But yer not alone! Y’got my baby witcha!”

“What?”

“She said you’re not alone cause we’re together,” you translate.

“Ohh.”

“We’ll see how life plays out, Ma.”

Hitoshi nods and kisses your temple. “Hopefully it goes well.”

The day before new years eve, you say goodbye to your parents as they load your suitcases.

“Y’better come an’ visit me again, y’hear?”

“Ah promise, ma. Ah’ll bring ‘toshi an’ Koko too.”

“Ah wan’ mo granbabies, Y/n.”

“We’ll see,” you giggle hugging her before hugging your Dad. “Come an’ visit us in the city, Daddy. Sika an’ I would love ta have you ova.”

“I’ll try mah best,” he smiles. “ Maybe in a month or two.”

“Jus’ lemme know when.”

‘15:09 train to Shibuya departing now’ the intercom crackles above.

You hug them both before entering the train with Hitoshi carrying Koko.

“Bai gamma,” Nico waves.

“Bai!” Koko waves too.

“Bye babies!” Hina shouts as the doors close. “Toshi, the next time I see you there better be a ring on my baby’s finger!”

“Ma!”

Back in Shibuya station, you wave goodbye to Sika’s family as they pile into their car left at the parking garage.

“Good luck, sis,” you tell her. “I’m behind you no matter what.”

You smile as she hugs you and enters the car.

“Let’s get this one home,” you coo at the sleeping Kokoro in the car seat holding his new action figures.

Hitoshi says goodbye to his parents and sister, promising to visit soon then all of you go your separate ways.

You wave at them before helping Hitoshi put the luggage in the trunk and climbing in the passenger seat. “This was fun. I’m sorry about my mom though. She’s a lil pushy when it comes to us and relationships,” you sigh softly.

“It’s fine. Honestly, My pop’s been like that since I told them about us. I really like your parents though, they’re fun.”

“Yours too, well Mic is fun, Eraser is fun in a lazy cynical cat way.”

“The cats do follow him around though,” he smiles.

You laugh and look out the window as he drives, watching the snow covered landscape. “This really was nice though, maybe next year we can do something with your parents.”

“Oof, they’re the stay home and chill type so i think Christmas vacations should be a your parent thing.”

“My mom will flip but yeah, that sounds cool.”

He reaches over to intertwine your fingers together, bringing it to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

You decide to spend the rest of the break with Hitoshi and Koko. Of course the toddler is ecstatic, spending his week off with his Dad and his favourite teacher.

“So what’s the gift you promised me? I’ve been itching to know what it is,” you ask Hitoshi after you’ve gotten the kitties from the daycare, unpacked and settled down for the evening.

Hitoshi gets two small black boxes from the kitchen drawer and sits next to you on the couch. “Pick one. They’re both for you.”

The size of the boxes makes you a little nervous. You hope there’s not a ring in either of them. “This one.”

You take the box and start unwrapping the bow before lifting the lid. “A key? What does this lead to?”

“I’ve been thinking,” he starts. “It’s really inconvenient for you to take the trains all the time to come here or go home from work. So I was wondering if you wanted to move in? Totally fine if you don’t want to, but I feel guilty whenever I'm stuck at work and you have to bring Koko all the way here or all the way to your apartment. So…yeah.”

You stare at the silver key, smiling wide. “That’s so thoughtful, Hitoshi. I would love to.”

“You mean it?”

You laugh softly and hug him tight. “Of course I do! Thank you!”

Kokoro walks in with the cats, hoping to get a juice box from you or Hitoshi.

“Daddy, want joos.”

“It’s too late for juice, bud. You can have tea if you want.”

“Bleh! No tea. Wat dat?” He points at the box.

“Koko, I’m gonna live here from now on,” you tell the toddler. “Isn’t that exciting?”

“Mama live wif me?!” Koko gasps before climbing on the couch between both of you. “Yay! Mama stay!”

“And you’ll be coming home after school with me.”

“Yay! I lub you!”

“I love you too, baby. You and your daddy, very much.”

“Wat about da kitties?”

Onyx hops in your lap, purring happily.

“Also the kitties,” you giggle as Onyx rubs his face in your chin.

“Open the other one, babe.”

You unwrap the second one and there’s an electronic key inside with a Mercedes logo on it.

“Hitoshi…”

“Yes, Y/n?”

You start to scream in excitement and shock, scaring the cats and Kokoro. “You’re serious?!”

“Yup.”

“Daddy, why Mama scream?” Kokoro asks, holding onto Hitoshi.

“She loves her gift, bud. She’s happy,” Hitoshi chuckles.

“Can I go see it?!”

“In the morning. The parking lot’s pretty dark right now…”

You tackle him in a bear hug and kiss all over his face. “Thank you thank you thank you! I love you!!!”

“Mama lub Daddy!” Koko squeals.

“Yes I do,” you smile before giggling when he joins the hug. “I love you.”

Unfortunately, Hitoshi is summoned to court again after the new year. But it's good news this time.

‘This court finds that the prosecution no longer needs to pay child support to the defendant Akibimi Nezama. And the defendant must sign sole custody of the child. We are adjourned.’

The sound of the gavel hitting the block brings a smile to Hitoshi’s face. ‘It’s over,’ he thinks. Outside the courtroom, he quietly celebrates and thanks his lawyer.

“I can't believe you,” Akibimi grumbles, mood sour from the verdict.

“Maybe now you can get a job and stop mooching off of me,” Hitoshi glares

“I’m quirkless, no one's gonna hire me,”

“There’s thousands of jobs you could apply for. As much as you irk me, you're still Koko's mom, so as a sign of good faith, I’ll get Deku to put you in that quirkless program he started.”

“What about Koko?”

“He’ll be fine but he wouldn’t mind seeing you if you were nicer to him. But with my or y/n’s supervision,” he offers.

“Why that bi–woman?”

“That woman is my girlfriend. The only woman that Koko trusts as his mother, so that’s why she has permission. I doubt she’d let you considering what happened the last time you met.”

‘Fucking deserved it if you ask me.’ Akibimi thinks. “Fine, I’ll call you.”

“You need to give me at least a week in advance when you want to see him. No popping up. Understand?”

“Whatever. Bye.”

Her heels click as she walks away. Hitoshi doesn't even feel bad. Instead, he feels relieved.

#bnha x black!reader #mha x reader #x black reader #hitoshi shinsou #shinsou x poc!reader #shinsou x reader #shinso x reader #bnha x reader #bonnie.writes #hitoshi shinsou x reader #shinsou x black!reader

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loganinjapan · 6 months ago

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Day 6 ACTIVITES

Today was everything I wanted and more. This was by far the best day I've had on the trip and more than likely, it'll be the best day overall. I started my day by checking out of my hotel in Hachinohe. I attempted to get some breakfast but honestly, nothing really caught my taste buds. The scrambled eggs were too soggy and the croissants could have been better. Hotel breakfast was crowded with students, anyways. I grabbed baumkuchen from Lawson and headed to Hachinohe Station to take the Aomori Railway up to Noheji, then transfer onto the JR Ominato Line along Mutsu Bay. Quick note - the mascot for Aomori Railway is super cute! Anyways, the whole ride was really scenic and off the beaten path. Mutsu Bay was absolutely gorgeous and I got some great photos. I hopped onto the shuttle bus and got to the festival. The Yokohama Nanohana Festival, in all of its glory. I will discuss the reasons for why I wanted to attend this in the reflection post. There was so much to do! The nanohana flowers were in full bloom and absolutely stunning. There were food stalls lined up serving karaage, yakisoba, okonomiyaki, shaved ice - your typical festival fare. I think if I remember right, I got a mocha coffee, a karaage skewer, a bacon skewer, a corn dog, an apple/cream filled spring roll, and some drinks (mostly water but also blood orange juice!). I watched two performances by some students, I assume from the local elementary school - super cute!! They did a great job. This festival was awesome and it's what I wanted most - to get out of the big city bubble and see real Japan. I was the only foreigner there and the experience was amazing. I got to read my book (the Jeannette McCurdy book, for anyone curious) and sleep on the shinkansen on the way back to Tokyo. It's crunch time. I quickly throw my back into the hotel room, call an Uber and make it to Meiji Jingu Baseball Stadium. My first Japanese baseball game, and it's a special one - Tokyo Giants vs. Tokyo Yakult Swallows! Tokyo vs. Tokyo! The atmosphere was intense - the stadium was decked out in green to cheer on the Swallows, except for the LF corner which was Giants territory. Both teams had bands and people cheering/chanting their heads off for each player. Eventually, I learned the chants for some of the players. The only player I recognized was Domingo Santana, a former outfielder who played for the Seattle Mariners and Cleveland Ind- sorry, Guardians. Don't want to get cancelled! I made plenty of noise using my plastic bats and when the Swallows scored in the first inning, everyone (me included) got the lucky umbrellas out and celebrated. The Giants would take over the game and lead 4-1 thanks to not one, but two Kazuma Okamoto home runs before I grabbed some karaage and yakisoba. In true Logan fashion, the Swallows hit a home run when I was in the concourse. It's a recurring theme. Despite the hyped crowd and some excitement at the end, the Swallows couldn't complete the comeback and fell to the Giants 4-3. They lost the game, but they won my heart. Afterwards I headed to Hope-ken Sendagaya HQ to get some ramen. I presume that a shop this famous attracts a lot of Swallows fans post-game, and me wanting the authentic Swallows experience, rushed out of the stadium at Sonic speed to not queue in line. I got the chashu ramen and quickly received my bowl. The chashu pork and the noodles were really good, I could eat those all day. The broth was a little underwhelming and honestly just made me slosh around like I had two too many Gatorades at flag football practice. It was good, but not spectacular. 8/10. Now I'm back at the hotel. Very tired.

#japan #studyabroad

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verstappenclerc · 10 months ago

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OKAY so. trying to summarize:

i woke up when the rumours started and ngl i had a minor heart attack lol. EXTREMELY REAL because i can’t believe i was thinking of pierre or alex and- anyways. fred vasseur has the spirits of a hundred Gauls in him

free from sainz and i can’t believe the amount of people i’m seeing that are sad for him/believe ferrari fucked him over/are mad?? even from a neutral standpoint, anybody would have chosen lewis over him (sorry not sorry) (and if people think they should have dropped charles instead of him i think the psych ward is the only remaining option). secondly: how much worse is british media compared to spanish media? because they scare me and if they start spinning narratives around and throwing charles under the bus things are going to get ugly here in pizzaland (i’ve already seen many italians who are less than thrilled, let’s put it that way).

i’ve also read somewhere that phone calls and negotiations started earlier last year with Elkann so maybe fred has put more thought into the management of the line-up than we believe but i share your sentiment overall, this sure is rushed as hell. in the end what matters is that charles is the lead in the development of the project and the car, even if they’re granted equal treatment on track, which yes would be MENTAL but also as you say extremely exciting. they’ve shared brilliant battles on track already and he possibility to do so in equal machinery is amazing. they might stress us out but i too have a lot of faith in charles as a driver and i’m sure he’ll do great (he is crazy man, he knew and said yes, i can’t believe how insane that guy is).

also lewis jumping ship gives me a lot more hope on the future of the project, i was very skeptical of a possibile world championship for 2024 but maybe it’s happening? up until yesterday i was 100% sure max-redbull would be an unbeatable combination this year as well but if this can happen, anything can; and as you said i really hope too that charles gets his WDC before lewis does. as a seb fan: if lewis manages to get his eight with ferrari i will rip my hair out (sorry, still hurts, and its just so weird to think of the big bad silver guy in red). as a max fan: if lewis gets his eight i’ll have conflicting emotions but if it has to happen, i hope it will be with ferrari. the only thing i’m loathing rn is the idea of people crediting him with bringing glory back to the team after all that charles has had to endure and all the hard work he’s put in the team.

twitter is already hell rn so maybe i’ll take a page out of charles’ book and write my thoughts in a diary because that place is unbelievable. trying to be as respectful as possible, some of lewis’ fans drive me mad (dumb on my part to engage in conversation) and i truly wish they’d show a little more respect for ferrari as an institution, but i have to admit a lot of so called lecfosis take it too far as well. i cannot believe the amount of racism towards italians i’ve already seen going around — though as much as it displeases me to say it, it’s mutual, and it’s no use pretending italians don’t have a problem with skin colour still.

i think i’ll decide to ignore the fans and focus on the fact that lewis in ferrari red is amazing and his respect for the team is definitely solid and hope very hard seb will come back to witness this :’)

lastly; SILLY SEASON???!?!?!? this is massive and the shakeup on the grid will be even bigger but i have, like, absolutely no idea how accurate any kind of prediction would be. my rational self is hoping for alex in mercedes; my chaotic side wants to see fernando at redbull (don’t know if that’s happening, honesty; btw did you see checo’s post? it was SO FUNNY)

anyways, 2025 cannot come quick enough and on the positive this has restored my faith in this year soooooo!! i’m so excited!!!! and stressed!!!!!!!

i need to hear all your thoughts on the situation because i’m currently shitting myself

hey hello!! did you sleep through the chaos 👀 never in my wildest dreams did i imagine this would happen, we were talking about alex and yuki and ollie and now we have lewis hamilton 😭 we found out it was an option and within a day it became official!! i’ve never gone through so many emotions in my LIFE

Before Skysports put out their confirmation I did a small doom post here (and then they announced it and my brother sent me the screenshot of the Skysports post and i had the most fevered five hours of my life). I think my thoughts remain mainly the same 12h after the official announcements? I think we’re all concerned about how this is going to affect team dynamics. My thoughts on this are:

-We’re free from the Sainz clan and the Spanish media 😭😭 Worst fucking experience of my life.

-I’m not too worried about incidents on track because Lewis and Charles are both really clean racers. I know we all have some lingering shadow from the Sebchal era, but I think (and I may be wrong) that Lewis has only had Spain 2016 against him in this regard. I think the racing will be exciting and I’m looking forward to it.

My primary concern is that apparently Lewis reached out to Elkann 3 weeks ago. Now this is giving me stress ulcers because:

-It sounds like Ferrari did not put too much thought into how they’re going to manage two no.1 drivers. It sounds like Elkann jumped at the opportunity to sign Lewis Hamilton.

-Looking at that multi-year contract, I am 99% sure Lewis has been promised equal treatment. A 2+1 contract is not some pre-retirement fun. And kudos to them both for believing they can beat each other but I will be very!! stressed!!

-How does this factor into Fred’s restructuring because I doubt he was planning to sign a driver of Lewis’ calibre. Ultimately though it’s good for Ferrari as a team- if the car is good we’re going to witness some real racing and maybe even end RB’s domination before the new regs (haha.)

But as a 1644 enjoyer I think 2025-2028 (if neither of them utilise their exit clauses) will be a fun ride and I hope one way or another the title is coming back to Maranello. (In my delusion I think Charles can take 2024, 2025 and Lewis can have 2026) Honestly? I hope Charles bags the wdc this year so twitter is a bit less of a hellhole going into 2025. There are so many unknowns right now, the press conference in Bahrain will be so juicy and I can’t wait.

I think we just have to look at the positives and have faith in Charles as a driver. I’m just going to enjoy this season first and hope Seb’s returning in 2025 🥹 lmklmklmk what u think too!!

#sorry for the longest rant ever #this is mostly for myself too i needed to recollect my thoughts #bottom line is: forza charles forza ferrari #charles leclerc #lewis ferrari saga #lewis hamilton #scuderia ferrari #formula 1

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thatredheadwriter · 3 years ago

Text

Wine Drunk

steven grant x reader

I know I said I wasn’t going to post any fics this weekend, but this one was almost finished and I couldn’t help it. I don’t believe that it’s my best work, but it’s a cute little thing so I hope somebody enjoys it.

This is a SFW oneshot for (implied) female reader with Steven Grant of the show Moon Knight. This work does not contain smut, however it may contain mature language or themes, and as a rule my blog is only for those over the age of 18 (or the age of majority in your locale). As a writer, I will attempt to make accurate warnings for each of my fics, however I cannot guarantee that I will identify each and every sensitive topic. My works regularly contain swearing, allusions to/mentions of sex, and canon level violence.

Warnings Include (but are not limited to):

Mentions of pet illness

Mentions of vomit

Alcohol/drinking

Drunkenness

General Steven and reader awkwardness

Please read at your own discretion and consume your fanfiction responsibly.

You slammed the door to your flat, wincing as the sound made your eyes rattle in your head. After locking it tight and putting the security chain in place, you all but threw your bags across the room and onto your counter.

Your hair was wet, your socks were wet, your favourite boots had a hole in the toe, and you were just nearly run over by a cab. Overall, you’d had a crummy day and coming home to an empty flat was just the cherry on top. Your cat was at the vet, somehow he’d managed to swallow a paperclip meaning you had to rush him to the emergency centre on Wednesday evening.

The spring rain had you craving homemade chicken and rice soup, but the grocery store didn’t have any carrots, any long grain rice, or bay leaves. So instead you bought a bottle of rosé and a handful of Dairy Milk bars.

When your phone rang, you nearly threw it instead of answering, not in the mood to be bothered, but when you saw the name, you couldn’t help the small smile that came to your lips. Sliding the green emblem along its track, you answered the call and flopped down onto your couch with a light bounce.

“I have had the worst day,” you groaned, rolling over onto your side to face the door you’d just come in. Your hand reached down to remove your trashed boots and icky socks.

“So-so I guess that means you don’t want to go see a movie…” he chuckled as he said it, but there was a clear note of disappointment in his voice. You cursed mentally, just now remembering your commitment to go with Steven to see the old film that was playing at the local theatre this weekend.

“Oh, god, Steven. I completely forgot! I’m so, sorry, but I’m absolutely drenched. I got splashed with puddle water from a bus,” you felt like a child, whining the way you were, “And I’ve got to take a shower before I’m even halfway presentable-”

“I’s alright, (y/n),” he cut you off, “I completely understand. We’ll do a raincheck, eh?”

You chewed your bottom lip. You weren’t exaggerating, and the last thing you wanted to do was go out. But the thought of seeing Steven made you feel warm deep within despite the cold, wet clothes still clinging to you.

“I’ll let you go, yeah? Call me tomorrow if you’re feeling up to-”

“Steven, do you want to come over?”

The words flew out of your mouth, and you almost didn’t believe you’d said them.

He cleared his throat on the other end of the line, “What?”

“Would you want to come over? I know it’s no movie, but I was thinking-”

“I’d love to.”

There was silence for a minute, and then you remembered it was your turn to speak.

“Oh, uh, I’ll text you my address. Wanna be here in, say an hour and a half? That gives me some time so I won’t smell like street water when you get here.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,” he hastily agreed, and you heard rustling in the background.

“Ok, well I’ll see you soon, then.”

“See you.”

“Bye, Steven,” you couldn’t help but grin to yourself when you said his name.

“Laters gators,” he signed off before a click let you know the line had been disconnected.

An hour and twenty-eight minutes later you were pacing your kitchen in your best loungewear, waiting to see if Steven or the delivery man would arrive first.

After your much needed shower, you scrambled around the flat to straighten up and feel like the place was at least half-presentable. You made your bed, picked up all the dirty clothes and clutter, and finally did the few dishes that were stacked up in the sink. In the last five minutes you’d set out bowls and chopsticks and wine glasses, all in nervous anticipation of Steven’s first ever visit.

You’d sent him your address before you got in the shower, and when you got out, he’d asked about dinner. Of course he’d offered to pick something up, but you told him you had an excellent working relationship with the delivery guy from the Vietnamese place three streets over, and that they had an excellent vegan pho according to reviews.

When you heard a knock at the door, you nearly jumped out of your skin, your fuzzy socks sliding on the hardwood floors as you rushed to see who it was. Through the spyhole, you saw a nervous looking Steven, who was holding the bag from the Vietnamese place by his side, some other grocery bag in another one, and a bouquet of multi colored gerbera daisies in the other hand.

It took far too long to get the door open so when you finally did, your face was a little flustered. But if Steven noticed he didn’t let on. The corners of his mouth twitched up in a smile when he saw you, and he lifted the hand holding the flowers.

“Thought these’d brighten your day,” he explained shyly as you took the bouquet from him and stepped aside to let him into the flat.

“Steven, you so did not have to do this,” you chided, but your wide gin betrayed how you really felt.

“I know, I know,” his back was turned to you as he unloaded the bags on your dining table, “But I wanted to. Oh, and since you didn’t let me pay for dinner, I picked up a bottle of your favourite red.”

His face fell when he turned, and saw the bottle of rosé sitting out on the counter, the own bottle he’d purchased in hand.

“Really, you’ve gone to far too much trouble, Steven,” you grinned, taking the bottle from him and over to the counter.

“I-I didn’t realise you’d already have-”

“Steven, I did tell you I had a horrible day, didn’t I?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“I have a feeling that between the two of us, we can probably finish two bottles,” you smirked, cutting the foil open on the bottle of red. Steven was still standing awkwardly between the doorway and your dining table. “I see you met the delivery man.”

“Oh, um, yeah I did,” he nodded along to your words.

“Well, if you want to bring the food over here, I’ve got bowls and utensils out,” you nodded your head to the clean dishes. He brought over the large brown paper sack and was starting to unpack it when he noticed you struggling with the cork.

His hands hovered near his sternum, like he wanted to say something. Finally after your third curse word, he let it out. “Sorry, (y/n), but could I maybe help you with that? Not that you need it, but-”

“Please,” you smiled, handing the bottle to him and gliding around him to finish unpacking the food.

“Um, should I pour,” he turned to ask you, hip brushing your ass a bit due to the tight quarters.

“Sure, there’s an aerator in the top drawer there to your right. Supposed to make it taste better, I guess,” you chuckled. Steven found it without incident and in just another minute, the two of you had a rather full dinner in front of yourselves.

He started to sit at the dining table, but you made a face.

“Do you mind if we eat in the living room? Those chairs hurt my ass, and I promise I don’t care if you spill.”

Steven just shrugged agreeably and followed you to the cosy living area, the only seating being your beloved couch and a single thrifted armchair. You took your usual spot on the couch, and Steven was headed for the armchair.

“I wouldn’t sit there if I were you.”

He furrowed his brow.

“That’s my cat’s chair, he’s got it covered in his fur and if you sit there, you will be too.”

“Oh, well I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of your cat,” he grinned, plopping down on the end of the couch opposite you.

“You won’t, he’s still at the vets’.”

Steven’s chopsticks clattered into his bowl, “Really? What happened?”

You rolled your eyes, “Bloody bastard swallowed a paperclip on Wednesday, had to go have emergency surgery. They’re just keeping him for a while.”

“Oh, well, I’m still sorry to hear it.”

“Thanks. I’ve been kinda lonely around here without him,” you admitted to him before slurping at some of the broth in your bowl.

“I know I’d be lonely without Gus.”

“Who’s Gus?”

“Well, Gus’s my goldfish, see. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but…” Steven went on to tell you all about his one-finned goldfish and how much he liked sprinkles and looking at postcards.

By the time you finished dinner, and the bottle of red, you were giggling along to all of Steven’s stories, a heady buzz settling into your veins. He was still finishing his first glass, while you were swallowing your fourth.

“I’m going to grab the rose,” you grinned wildly, standing off the couch and making your way to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, you opened the bottle before starting to tote it back to the living room, which is when you noticed the chocolate on the table.

“Hey, you want a chocolate bar?” you asked, holding one up so he could see. He nodded, so you tossed the candy at him, and unsuccessfully tried to stifle your giggle when he fumbled with it for a moment before it finally landed in his lap.

“So, what about your day was so bad?” he asked as he held his glass out for you to refill it.

Now it was your turn to ramble. First you told him all about your ruined shoes, and how your feet got drenched almost first thing once you stepped outside. Then at work, the stomach bug was going around, so half your kids were out and the other half had just been out. Two boys got in a fight at recess, and then you had pickup duty after classes. Then there was your bi-weekly faculty meeting. They announced new budget cuts of course, and then some dumbass had nominated you to take over the after school arts program. You didn’t have anything against the program, but you didn’t have the time or energy to run it. And finally, at the beginning of your journey home, a bus splashed you with street puddle water.

“At least-at least I wasn’t Mrs. Harvelle,” you said through gasping laughs, Steven’s expressions and your high blood alcohol level making you laugh so hard you were crying, “Little miss head of the department, had not one, but two of her kids vomit in class. One of them was all over her shoes.”

Tears streamed down your face as you rocked back and forth, trying to catch your breath.

“Oh, god. I could never, ever be a teacher. One time a toddler threw up on the counter at work and I had to go hide in the back until maintenance cleaned it up. Donna was so pissed.”

By the time you’d both stopped laughing, the clock on your wall read 12:04, and your head was starting to ache a bit. The soft hum of rain on the roof and against the windows was beginning to pull you towards the land of dreams and you thought fondly of your bed just in the other room.

Steven seemed to notice the shift in your affect, glancing at the clock himself.

“I, uh, I should go,” he set his empty glass down on the table next to the pile of chocolate wrappers you two had made.

“You don’t have to.”

Steven’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, like he wasn’t sure what words he should use. But his answer was obviously not a positive one.

“God, I’m sorry,” you tucked your face in your hands.

“Wha-what are you sorry for, love?”

“I’ve just gone and made this awkward and now you’re not going to want to come over again and I just feel like an idiot for ruining everything.” Your drunken state had you crying again, although these were not happy tears.

“Hey, shh, it’s alright, yeah? You’ve not ruined anything,” Steven moved quickly, closing the distance between you. One of his large hands came to rub reassuringly on your arm, but when you leaned into him, he wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to fall into his chest and sob.

“But I forgot our date, and then I spent the whole time bitching, and now I’m drunk crying,” you hiccuped, looking up at him through teary lashes.

“No, no, love. You’ve been wonderful. ‘Sides, how many times have you seen me when I’m all a mess, hmm?”

“A lot,” you sniffled, earning a chuckle from Steven above you.

“Look, you just need your rest, darling. Tha’s alright.”

You nodded into his chest, breaths coming more and more regularly now, the tears falling slower now.

“Ok? Let’s get you into bed,” he released you, and you nearly whined at the loss of contact. He was so warm, so familiar and comfortable, so Steven.

He helped you stand up and kept a steadying hand on your midback as you made your way to the bedroom. It was lit with dim lamplight and the sight of your bed nearly brought a new run of tears. You watched as Steven turned down your duvet and sheet, moving out of your way as you sat down and got comfy.

Steven smiled down at you as you fell back on the pillow. You couldn’t help but grab one of his hands that dangled by his side.

“I know-I know you don’t want to…but I need you to know that you can stay, if you want.”

His jaw clenched and his grip on your hand tightened.

“I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

Steven stood in front of your vanity, leaning heavily against your porcelain sink. He’d never liked another person’s bathroom so much, but this one smelled like you.

“Marc, get out here. I need to talk to you,” he stared at himself in the mirror, speaking as sternly as he could while keeping his voice low. “Marc! Bloody hell, I need…”

“What?” his reflection twisted into a bored frown, and Steven resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m at (y/n)’s flat. She wants me to stay over and-”

“Ooh, good on you Stevie. Finally going for it?” Marc interrupted his other, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“No, no. That’s not what-I’m not…Look, I want to stay over, but I need to know that you’re not going to take over and leave in the middle of the night or scare her or-”

“You’re just staying over?”

“She’s drunk and upset, so yes.”

Marc rolled his eyes, “Fine. Unless we are in mortal danger, I won’t take over.”

Steven breathed a sigh, releasing the coil that had built in his chest. He knew that was the best guarantee he would get from the alter, so he ran a hand through his hair, splashed some water on his face, and went back to your room.

You had turned over in bed so you were facing away from the door, but as he came around the end of it, he could see your eyes had shut and your lips had parted slightly.

He made quick work of shedding his sweater before crawling into the empty space next to you, careful with his movements so he wouldn’t disturb you, and gently lowered himself onto the mattress.

Reaching over, he pulled the chain to turn off the lamp. He laid in silence listening to your breathing.

You woke up in the morning with a killer headache and a dry feeling in your mouth, but all of that was momentarily forgotten when you tried to roll over, only to be met with something solid at your back. Scrambling to sit up, you were met with the sight of a fully dressed Steven, snoozing softly beside you.

His face was pressed into the pillow and his plump lips were parted slightly. As sunlight filtered in through the window, it highlighted his messy curls, and you found your hand hovering, wanting to reach out and run your fingers through them. You knew Steven didn’t sleep much, so you elected to leave him to rest as you found your way to your feet and fumbled for the water bottle you kept on your nightstand.

There was a slight chill in the air, and you rubbed at your exposed arms. But on your way to the closet to retrieve a sweatshirt, you noticed Steven’s discarded jumper on the back of your chair.

With your hands tucked into the sleeves of the oversized sweater, you made your way out into the kitchen and filled the kettle so you could start so tea or coffee, you hadn’t decided which yet.

It was almost noon when Steven emerged from your bedroom, creases from your pillow pressed into his face. He scrubbed at his cheek lightly, and you could swear you could feel your heart flutter.

“Oh, there’s my jumper,” he said sleepily, making you giggle.

(A/N: If it’s not super clear, Steven is wearing a t-shirt underneath his sweater.)

thatredheadwriter’s Masterlist

#steven grant #steven grant fluff #steven grant x reader #steven grant x reader fluff #steven grant imagine #steven grant oneshot #steven grant headcanon #moon knight #moon knight fluff #moon knight imagine #moon knight headcanon #moon knight oneshot #steven grant x you #steven grant x y/n

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witchy-writing · 2 years ago

Text

Crushing part two

Dean x reader

Summary: y/n has found Dean in a compromising position, Dean has found out about y/n’s crush. Not everything ends well.

a/n: I am so sorry this has taken so long! But I got there, busy ass week. Hoping to write more next week and get more things posted. Thank you to @megamall98 for the request.

warnings: angst, sex/adult themes, swearing

word count: 1268

Part one

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God her lips! I couldn’t get enough; they were rosy red and plump they looked just like theirs. Like y/n’s. And by chuck was this woman a good fucking kisser. I close my eyes imaging that I was kissing y/n instead.

It hadn’t taken long for me and the random woman I had picked up in the local bar to arrive back at the bunker. The alcohol I had consumed to forget my love for y/n was rushing through my veins. I probably shouldn’t have driven, I know y/n would kill me if she knew, but I need to forget about her; move on, and this chick on my arm was my answer. As soon as we entered the bunker, we were like teenagers, her body was clad in a little tight black dress, nothing like y/n would wear; it made it easier to separate hook-ups from y/n if they were complete opposites. I pinned her against the wall, my fingers dancing up her thigh, my lips pressing gently then hard, then gentle again against her neck until I reached the right spot and she moaned. My fingers continued their journey, playing with the elastic of her panties, fingers creeping underneath, playing with her clit.

We moved throughout the bunker, from the door to the kitchen to the floor. I pinned her arms above her head, sliding her little black dress up her body, before pulling off her panties. Her blonde hair was splayed around her, like a halo, she looked godly, beautiful even; but no where near as amazing as y/n. I closed my eyes, before peppering her neck with kisses, imagining y/n beneath me, my cock getting harder.

But that’s when the argument started.

A short gasp, followed by the slamming of the front door, gave away to someone intruding. I whipped my head around, and there they were. Fuck, I had forgotten about them; I guess my plan worked. But the flash of hurt, anger, confusion that quickly appeared on their face quickly pulled me to my senses. I clambered up off of the blonde on the floor, noticing tears at the corner of y/n’s eyes, before they suddenly turned around, running off, their feet pounding on the floor.

“Fuck! I’ve really screwed this up” I mutter to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. I turn and look at the annoyed blonde, who was no longer attractive and was no longer getting any of me.

“I have to deal with this, look I’ll call you later Maria” I mumble, turning away to follow y/n. I don’t actually know the blondes name to be honest, and I also don’t have her number, but even if I did have her number I’d never call it.

Catching up with y/n is not as easy as it seems. Y/n’s fast, well they should be, they’re a hunter. But I’m taller, and my long legs give my advantage; like a predator chasing its prey. I reach out, my fingers ghosting their arm, but that’s all it take to grab them and yank them into my chest before spinning them around to face my direction. They don’t look at me, head hanging down, I hurt them. I know I hurt them. If I could, I would be theirs in an instant, but we’re hunters, we can’t live the apple pie life. We can’t live their dream.

I want them to look at me, I want to see their beautiful eyes, even if they show all the hurt I’ve caused them. “Look at me y/n” I growl, grabbing their chin gently with my thumb and finger, lifting their head up so their eyes can meet mine. My other hand lifting to move hair out of their face and brushing it behind their ear. Yet, they pulled away, like they were disgusted, grossed out. Like I was the sludge at the bottom of a bin.

“You’ve got to get over this crush thing” I yell harsher than I intend too, my arms waving between the two of us. Little do they know I’ve loved them for ages, but I can’t, we can’t. They want the apple pie life, and I can’t give them that, I want them to be happy, and they’d never be happy with just me. I miss the days where we were close, where I knew they didn’t like me back, where I was the only one getting hurt. Like the day where they fell asleep in the library slumped over a pile of lore books, hair scruffy like a mane around their face, a small dribble of drool escaping their lips, I missed the closeness between us, like when I picked them up, their warmth radiating off of them, their smell invading my senses. I loved the feeling of their skin on my lips as I tucked them into bed, kissing their forehead before whispering “I love you. Y/n” I miss the days where only I was the one getting hurt.

But now I have to break their heart.

“Look, y/n. I don’t feel… whatever it is I’m supposed to feel for you” I mutter, my heart shattering. I wanted nothing more to pin them against the wall and kiss them; tell them, show them how much I love them, but I can’t. They want the apple pie life, and I can’t give them that. So, I lie, through gritted teeth.

“But you told me you loved me!” They yell, eyes red with anger and hurt, oceans of tears pouring down their cheeks. Fuck, they had heard me that night, that’s what started all of this. Why did they have to hear me?

“I love you, y/n” I whisper, I see the hope in their eyes, and it hurts but I had to tell them I love them one last time, before I have to hurt them. “I love you so much…” My heart shatters, this isn’t the way I wanted to confess, damn why did I have to be a hunter, I want to give her that apple pie life! I feel frustrated, angry at myself at my life choices, I wish everything was different. “I love you so much… just not in that way” I finished. They gasped, stepping backwards slightly, stepping away from me, like they were wounded. I wish I could take care of them.

“I don’t want to lie to you, y/n. I care about you, I always will, but you and me, are never gonna happen.” I lie through my teeth. I reach out a hand, trying to at least wipe a few tears away, but they just slap at my hand, my skin starting to turn red from the contact. My hand stings, but the pain doesn’t hurt anywhere near as much as my heart.

I’ve got to finish what I’ve started, rip the plaster off. “Y/n” I sigh, lowering my arm away from them, “You need to move on”.

I can’t look at them any longer, I can’t see the pain I’m causing them, I should be the only one in pain. I leave, turning my back to them, I heard the thump of their body falling to the floor, the loud sobs as I walked away. I felt my hot tears burning my skin, as they break through my outer defences.

I try to convince myself that this is the best for them, for us. They can get the life they wanted, and I’ll go back to the only one being hurt. The way it should be, because Hunters like me, we don’t het happy ever afters.

Part one | Main masterlist

#dean x reader #sam x reader #winchester x reader #spn #spn x reader #supernatural #x reader #x you #x y/n #part two #crushing #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #witchy-writings

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mega-catmuncher · 2 years ago

Text

None of Our Business

Chapter 01

Pairing: College!Matt Murdock x fem!reader

Summary: You are a winner. Always have been and always will be. In your final year at Colombia you're aiming to earn an internship from an esteemed law firm which will ensure the success of your career post law school. Someone however, is making life difficult and his name is Matt Murdock. For some reason he's always in your business, everywhere you turn he's there and while you never expected it maybe he's just what you need.

Word count:3.4k

Warnings: swearing, people acting absolutely unhinged and ‼️T/W Frat Bros‼️ (Future SMUT I promise 🤞🏻😮‍💨)

a/n: academic rivals mixed with work/office rivals. Matt and reader are somehow smart enough to be in law school but not smart enough to realise they like each other. Also ALOT of these background characters are OC’s and the only people mentioned from the daredevil series is Foggy(nelson) and Jack (Matts Dad)

(not gonna lie that summary was a lil corny 💀please forgive me 🙏🏻)

You’ve always been the best at what you do. You uphold yourself to a high standard and its gotten you all the way to your final year studying law at Columbia. It feels surreal at times wondering if you deserve this but you remember how hard you have worked and how proud you will be once you’ve become the best lawyer in New York.

Tonight you’ve got a shift at the local bar and restaurant Barry’s. You’re the star waitress and have earned some regulars who tip very well every time you’re on. Tonight though you are really considering quitting. It’s not only one of the busiest nights due to the Columbia Lions winning last nights football game and their victory party being hosted by Barry’s but you are also responsible for the new trainee who is truly testing your patience. “Foggy, you cannot stay at a table for over 30 minutes after giving them their food. Being overly friendly will not get you tips it will get you fired” you sigh in frustration and you can see he feels bad for upsetting you “sorry” he whispers. Before you can apologise he’s left to get the drinks for the next table. You feel bad but food service can have you dealing with the worst kinds of people and you don’t want Foggy to get discouraged from a little criticism.

You’ve just shown foggy how to lock up and its nearing half three in the morning. After an 8 hour shift with no breaks you are ready to drop. Pulling out of the parking lot you see Foggy at the bus stop. “You know the first bus doesn’t come until six thirty, you can’t wait here for three hours” you tell him from your car. “ Don’t worry about it! I’ll be alright, I’m just too tired to walk” you wouldn’t let Foggy stay there even if you believed him. “Do you live on campus?” you ask. “Yes, but please you really don’t have to driv-”Foggy doesn’t get to the end of his sentence before you’re unlocking your passengers side door and beckoning him into the car. “I know I was hard on you tonight but I promise I’m not an asshole …I’m sorry” judging from Foggy’s smile you think he’s accepted your apology. “ It’s okay..you know you’re not as scary as you look” foggy immediately regrets saying that as you give him a very unimpressed look. “I mean you never smile in lectures and you just always seemed very…cold..from a distance! But getting to know you better tonight you’re cool. I mean I only know so much since Matt does talk-” “it’s okay Foggy I understand what you’re trying to say”.

Waking up Monday morning you regret signing up for an oral presentation workshop. However, you’ve made matters worse by not putting on an alarm and expecting your roommate Lisa to wake you up. Late and rushing you find yourself in not your finest of moments running across campus in yesterday’s mascara and underwear.

In your flurry to get to the workshop you trip over something and find yourself on top of someone. “I am so sorry, are you alright?” you ask frantically. “I don’t think you trip over blind men often so it’s fine” that voice belongs to Matthew Murdock a man who has a talent for getting on your nerves. Why? Because like you Matt is smart but unlike you it comes naturally for him and he takes every chance to throw it in your face. Between having the last word in mock trials to countering your points in class just because he feels like it. “If I didn’t know any better I would think you tripped me on purpose Matt” “ Well you’re still on top of me so I don’t think there’s any hard feelings”. Your rush to get off Matt, help him up and collect your things. “What are you in such a rush for?” Matt asks “ Professor Loc's speech workshop, I’m so late it’s pointless”you say dreading the effect this is going to have on your attendance record. “Don’t worry it’s been cancelled, I was on my way there but I got the email before I walked in” Matt says. Looking through your bag and finding your phone you see the late notification that the class has in fact been cancelled. “Shit I wasted my morning for that” you’re about to turn away until you hear chanting. Very loud chanting.

“ What is going o-” Matt is interrupted by Kevin the star quarterback and frat senior letting out a loud battle roar and running across campus naked being cheered on by freshmen, senior frat members and several other people fascinated by the display. “If I were to tell you exactly what is going on you would regret asking” and in a split second you notice Kevin’s path has changed and he is now running for you and Matt. “Walk with me and don’t ask questions” you grab Matt and begin walking towards the parking lot. “I expect better of you than to rob a blind man y/n”. “I’m not robbing you I’m saving us from embarrassment, unless you want to be between me and a naked Kevin I suggest you keep walking”. Matt suddenly quickens his pace and unfortunately so does Kevin. In a quick span of events you evade Kevins line of sight and pull Matt into a random shed near the library. “Janitors store room, we’ll have to wait out here until the crowd and Kevin have passed” you tell Matt out of breath.

After waiting for 10 minutes Kevin and the group are still chanting near you and Matt. “You might as well test me for our next exam” Matt says. You're dissatisfied with the situation but seeing an opportunity to outsmart Matt Murdock you won’t pass up on. Flipping through your notes you hear Matt huff a laugh “You can’t test me without your notes?”. Although Matt is amused you are not “I need to make sure you don’t try and finesse your way into giving me a bullshit answer that’s only half right” “woah y/n didn’t know I could get you riled up so easily.. did seeing Kevin naked get you excited?” Frustrated with Matts teasing you decide you’ve had enough. “Actually it did.. I have to confess Matt I’m really excited right now” you say trying to sound convincing. “….really?” Matt says genuinely confused. “Yes..and oh I need help to release some of this tension” Matt is slightly bewildered but also intrigued. “Y/N I didn’t expect..” “Matty c’mere I wanna show you something” as Matt approaches you pull the leaf blower from the shelf and turn it on to his lips. Sucking half of his face into the leaf blower is funny for a few seconds until you release it and he seems genuinely mad. “Y/N what the hell!?” Matt yells. You giggle about to say something until you hear the crowd is no longer chanting near you and Matt. “I think we can go back now Matt”

There was something special about today. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling that today something was going to happen that would change the trajectory of your life forever. Minus the pigeon shit that just fell on your coat you expected good things to come your way today.

“ I bought you coffee!!” Your roommate Lisa pops out from the crowd surrounding the campus cafe. “I felt bad about the other morning, you know how forgetful I can be” Lisa says reminding you about the drama surrounding last Monday. In between then you’ve had some time off to prepare for your final year, you bought a whiteboard and you scheduled study sessions with Foggy whenever the both of you weren’t working. “It’s okay, it’s my fault I’ve got to really get my shit together. It’s my final year and I’m lagging because my brain knows I’m at the finish line” you’re a little disappointed in yourself for not being motivated but that’s going to change now that the fall semester has begun and you can officially put your plan in place to get back on track.

Dropping Lisa off at her class you go across the way to the building where your lecture is being held. You sit beside Chris who, although doesn’t seem to listen in lectures he still manages to get great marks and have good notes. In comparison to the mess on your paper at the end of lectures over the years you've benefited more from listening through and copying Chris’s notes after. “How have you been doing? You look good” you’re slightly taken aback by Chris’s compliment. Although he flirts a lot he never teases and often times you think about bitting the bullet and asking him out. That’s if you ever get the time to. “ I’ve been good working, studying and working some more” you laugh feeling a bit pathetic that this has probably been your answer through the whole of your law degree. “ There’s a reason why you're so smart, Besides I heard you’ve organised a study group and didn’t invite me.I’m hurt” he puts his hand over his heart acting wounded. If it were anyone else you would roll your eyes but when Chris’s voice cracks at the word hurt added with the sly grin he has on his face has got you silently begging to to be alone with him. “The group is open, if you want to come just let me know and we’ll make a time to meet up”. Feeling proud of yourself for finding a way to get Chris's contact. Ripping a piece of paper off his notebook he quickly writes something. “ Here’s my number text me and I’ll make sure I bring my notes just for you”. You feel yourself about to sport an embarrassingly big smile until you hear a stick tapping near the doors.

“Murdock! There’s a seat here” you whip your head to Chris and see he’s pointing to the seat next to you. This is not what you had in mind when you thought of your positive mantra of today being a good day. Matt greets Chris and they reach across you to hug. If you were being honest being crushed between Chris and Matt wasn’t that bad, you were blissfully daydreaming away until you felt someone flick your ear. “After sucking my face off you could at the very least talk to me” Matt says grinning mischeviously. Chris is taken aback at the insinuation that you and Matthew Murdock are somehow involved and you are seething that out of all times he decides to start with you in front of Chris. Before you have time to clear any confusion your professor begins the class.

By the end your eyes are drooping from exhaustion and you feel close to calling a cab to get back to your apartment to avoid walking 20 minutes. "Hey sleeping beauty, class is dismissed" Chris tries to nudge you awake. Suddenly becoming alert you give him a tired smile and gather your things. "Do you want to take my notes home?, I won't need them back anytime soon" Chris says. Before you can respond Matt interrupts the seemingly tender moment. " I see my dig about notes the other day hasn't motivated you to aim higher". You are so close to chocking Matt the only thing stopping you is the scandal of assaulting a blind man in public. Ignoring Matt you thank Chris and take his notes with you. On your way out of class you can see a crowd forming around the bulletin board. "They're only offering two places!" "Highest score on the next exam?!". You're near the board to find out what all the commotion is about when you see plastered on the board the opportunity you've been waiting for.

The internship to Cheraus & Pels one of the best law firms in all of New York. You can feel the sweat on the palm of your hand reading over the details then, you feel a presence near. "Too bad they're offering two spots. There's no challenge now". You wish you could formulate a good response but all you can do is focus on the letters on the paper in front of you. "Are you okay? you seem like you're coming down with the flu" Matt goes to put his hand to your forehead but before he can you swat his arm away. "Matt, I have never been more serious about something in my life and the fact that you're treating this like any other thing is absurd to me" you feel bad afterwards for being difficult with Matt in front of everyone but the stress of how real everything is starting feel is getting to you. "Despite how nonchalant I can be, I have sacrificed a lot to even be in this building. Yes y/n, I am taking this very seriously but if I stressed myself out as much as you do I 'd be ill before I even put pen to paper". After hearing what he had just said you came to the sad conclusion that Matt Murdock was right.

Over the next few weeks you had been seeing less of Lisa and Chris and even Matt. You've closed yourself off from the world and against Matts advice you were stressing yourself out. Going only between classes and your apartment to take breaks from preparing for the upcoming exam to eat and sleep. You even gave Barry notice that you would be taking the month off just so that work wouldn't get in the way of studying. What you didn't know was how worried everyone was. Lisa called your mom who then spent an hour on the phone threatening you with a visit. Chris had texted you a few times but you didn't want to distract yourself. Foggy even told Matt about you taking the month off. Which became the last straw. At 9:30pm on a Friday night you heard a knock at the apartment door, you expected that Lisa would get it since she knew you were busy. After a while you realised Lisa wasn't home and whoever it was, was still waiting. Looking through the peephole you get a wave of aggravation seeing Matt at your doorstep.

"I am so busy right now Matt its not even funny" you say opening the door. Matt looks very unamused and goes as far as to walk right past you and let himself in. "y/n this is an intervention, I understand you want that internship as bad as anyone. Trust me I've been doing overtime in the library. That doesn't justify you working yourself so hard".You're about to lose your shit. How dare Matt come into your home uninvited and tell you how you should be living. You're about to yell at him when you realise you're so tired you don't even have the energy. Matt knows something isn't right when he hears a thud and he knows something is definitely not right when you haven't said anything. Checking that you're still breathing Matt carries your fast asleep self to your bed and lays beside you. He doesn't know why but he stays the night. He tells himself its because Lisa isn't home and he doesn't want to leave you in the apartment alone overnight but deep down Matt cares about you and wants to make sure you're alright.

Over the years Matt has grown a sort of affection for you. He's not in love. He just cares, you both work hard but he admires your drive and passion. Because for him, you challenge him to do better and that means a lot. In your first year Matt was having trouble accessing braille translations of archived case documents and while you weren't happy about it you took the time to read out those case documents for him. Once, Matt had come down with mono he missed a week of classes. He didn't want to ask for your help but he didn't have to. You told him to meet you at the library where you proceeded to catch him up on everything he had missed. These moments compiled with all those other times you've helped Matt out over the years makes him want to be the one to help you out this time. At least he though he was helping. He's not so sure now that you've woken up in the afternoon and realised you've missed six and a half hours of study time. "I don't know who you think you are to waltz into my house and control my life. What the fuck was the intervention for?! an addiction to studying. I have never heard something so stupid in my life". Any other time Matt would give you some cool response to one up your little tantrum but right now among all the yelling your eyes are red and he can hear your stomach grumbling. "If I took you for some lunch would you stop yelling at me. Would you stop talking altogether actually?" . You're contemplating committing homicide in this very moment but through the exhaustion, anger and hunger you can see Matt is concerned and while you don't owe him anything you definitely don't think it's fair to let him worry about you. You've also just come to the realisation it wasn't fair to let everyone else in your life worry. "Sorry, let me get dressed and then we can go" Shocked Matt doesn't mention your change in demeanour and lets you direct him to the couch to wait. While you have the time to yourself you send off some quick texts to Lisa, your mom and Chris letting them all know you're alright and there's no need to worry.

Lunch with Matt wasn't as bad as you'd thought it would be and spending time with Matt outside of school proved to be surprisingly beneficial to your mental wellbeing. You had been taking a walk in the park chuckling at some stupid law pun Matt had made when you snapped back to reality. The date of your exam was in three days and you felt so underprepared. Noticing your sudden silence Matt nudges your shoulder. "I didn't think my comedy would kill the mood, If you didn't like that one I've got a whole notes app filled with them" Matt says. "Its not that, I'm just thinking about the exam. After tomorrow we've only got a couple more days". You remove your arm from Matts and go to sit at the bench to clear your mind and figure out what your going to do about everything. "y/n I don't want you to get upset with me but Im going to make you an offer that hopefully you can't refuse" Matt goes on to ask you something you would have surely lost your balance from the shock if your weren't already sitting down. "You can stay at my place until the exam is over. You seemed to have slept better with me at the house and as much as you would hate to admit it we work really well together. My best grades are from when I study with you. "

You feel your resolve melting and as much as you want to keep your regular bitch attitude with Matt he's doing something really nice. Most of all he doesn't need to do any of this. He didn't need to spend the night or come to the apartment to check up on you, he didn't need to get you lunch or take a walk around the park with you and most of all Matt didn't need to worry, but he did. Or does... you don't know but what you do know is Matt is right. In a way things have always worked better when you've done them with Matt. Group projects, study sessions and even those dreaded mock trials. If you were any less oblivious you would realise Matt challenges you in a way you like. In a way that drives you to be better and in times like this it means everything. " I can't believe I'm saying yes but I will move in with you for three nights and four days" you don't know why but you're smiling. "Its settled then, let's shake on it roomie" "shut the fuck up".

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #daredevil #mega-catmuncher

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missinghan · 4 years ago

Text

cold sun ⤖ han jisung

❖ genre : soulmate au; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 2,6k.

❖ warning : slight swearing

❖ summary : in a world where one will lose something if their soulmate doesn’t reciprocate their words of love once they turn sixteen, jisung is willing to take the risk so you won’t have to bear the burden.

❖ note : i just realized how i always tend to write for jisung when i'm down :')) anywho this piece is a little different than what i usually come up with but i hope y'all enjoy it ♡

It’s the first day of the week.

“Hey, Y/N. I like you!”

And Han Jisung is really annoying.

Those words come out so easily. It's casual in a way that makes you bury your red nose deeper into the soft fabric of your scarf, which makes your footsteps quicken unknowingly as his voice chases after you loudly. Either way, this isn’t the first time Jisung has said so. In fact, it’s become a habit for him to remind you every other day.

There’s no particular reason why. Or at least that’s what you think.

It’s the end of the week. Jisung decides to hang himself upside down on your bed while you’re stressing over a presentation. “Hey, Y/N.” A cold winter breeze comes rushing against the perplexing glass of your window, shaking the frame violently before all motions come to silence.

Until, “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he creeps up from behind you and chirps into your ear.

“What?” you let out a groan of displease when tempting warmth embraces you whole, prompting you to drop your attention and looking over your shoulder.

Jisung pouts, “You didn’t answer me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying,” you sigh.

“Answer me when I call your name,” he pulls you in a fraction tighter, careful enough not to hurt you but firm to not let you slip away at the same time, and cradles your neck warmly, “So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“Alright, stupid.”

The all too familiar gummy smile returns instantly. “Hey, Y/N?”

And you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, Jisung?”

“I like you,” he giggles into the hug, “I like you a lot.”

Han Jisung really is annoying.

He’s annoying because he talks too much. He’s annoying because of how he always asks for your notes after a gaming night with Felix just to nap in class. He’s annoying because he’d drop you in a heartbeat for a single slice of cheesecake from Jeongin’s mom’s bakery. He’s annoying because of how well he can get along with everyone.

Chatty, down-to-earth, easy-going with a lovable smile—attractive, very attractive.

It’s the week after that. “What...happened?”

“He lost his voice,” Jeongin sighs, looking like he genuinely wants to facepalm himself against concrete while walking with an incoherent Jisung to school; expressive hands with his mouth agape and all.

You tilt your head, “...for real?”

“For real.”

After a few seconds of eyeing Jisung struggling with converting what’s in his head, you exhale deeply and quickly rummage through your backpack, “Just stop, you look ridiculous.” And he does just that, zipping his mouth metaphorically and giving you those typical puppy eyes. “Here, use this.”

His eyes light up like stars when you rip off a page from one of your notebooks and offer it to him along with a pen. Truth is, you’re expecting something as predictable as ‘I like you’ or ‘It’s alright it’s just the worst cold I’ve ever caught’. But then, what’s displayed on the piece of paper right now only baffles you.

Park is going to murder you if he sees some uglyass tear in your Ochem notes :)

A forced grin splits your lips open. “Not if I murdered you first and then the entire school and then myself.”

The first genuine smile blossoms on his lips when you give him a mini-sized notepad and pencil the day after—his sixteenth birthday.

And Jisung decides this is it.

It happens when the sun hasn’t even come out yet and the irritating blue light from his phone reads 5:32 AM.

It happens when he sees your reclined figure leaning back against his mattress, his pupils tracing your delicate features. Perplexed emotions fill his eyes to the brim, fulfillment bursting within his chest when you stare right back at him with such purity. So pure that it seems you can do no harm to him and neither can he.

“Hey stupid,” you murmur quietly, shoving a notepad and pencil against his chest, “Happy birthday.”

Jisung gives you a bright smile, opens his mouth, and snaps it close mere moments later. Sixteenth birthday. Early in the morning. Tired grins. The fondness of being so disgustingly in love.

He can’t help but lean in and caves into the taste his soul has longed for as long as he can remember.

Two weeks have passed since Jisung has lost his voice.

Nothing has differed if you’re being completely honest. Han Jisung is still annoying. His lack of ability to speak doesn’t appear to be a problem to him at all. He loves chatting with people even though he’s more of a listener now. But with the small notepad you gave him a few days ago, being socially active is the norm for him even now.

Thanks to his rather short-period experiences of observing people’s expressions and how their features contort in certain ways when they’re feeling certain emotions, Jisung catches onto your mood more quickly during bad days to help you release your inner turmoil by scribbling down something stupid on the notepad. It’s kinda nice like this, you’d think to yourself sometimes.

Other times, you’re more scared that you might have forgotten what his voice sounds like.

“No wonder you got a fucking cold. Stop taking midnight showers already.”

You wave Jisung over when he closes the wooden door to your bedroom, droplets dripping from his hair as he scratches his stomach tiredly. His hair is a mess when he lazily crawls onto your bed, the cushion beside you dips slightly.

His index finger pointing at his post-shower head and a shit-eating grin are all you need to snatch the white towel around his neck.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you mumble while rubbing the cotton fabric into his hair, “But you’re awfully upbeat for someone who’s lost their voice. Can’t you at least pretend to be sad about it?”

A noise of protest escapes his throat like second nature as your eyes carefully read the quick movements of his mouth. “And can you not be so mean to someone who’s lost their voice?”

A faint smirk creeps its way up to your lips. “Still like me now?”

Jisung thinks hard for a few moments before jumping out of bed to snatch his notepad from your studying area. Of course, I like you. I like you a lot. Your heartbeat momentarily spikes at his scrawny handwriting. Just when your gaze is averted away to cool the blush on your cheeks, he tugs at your sleeve again and points at a different mess of scribbles. You’re more gentle when I’m like this. And you’d always find me if I ever got into trouble. What’s there for me to be sad about?

“Annoying little shit,” you swallow your pride and let him settle his head against your chest.

His presence melts into yours during the hardest hours of the twenty-four, heartbeats on heartbeats and warmth on warmth. Your one regret is that you’re unable to register his tears that night, only the incoherent, breathless hiccups almost as to desperately call out your name.

It’s been a month since Jisung’s lost his voice. And the night when he kisses you for the second time, his notepad is long forgotten next to your pillow.

I-can’t-talk. Give-me-a-break.

Jeongin. Cheesecake. Please? Pretty please?

I’ll fucking kick you.

Wait, there’s homework?!

...so you’re telling me LMAO isn’t how French people laugh?

“This is what you’ve been doing during breaks huh…” you mumble under your breath while lazily flipping through the papers. The occasional ‘I like you’-s do pop up every two pages or so, which is more than enough to make you smile like an idiot. But that is until a peculiar paragraph yanks your attention by its neck and tosses it against a brick wall.

Mom, promise me you’re not going to cry.

He made auntie cry?!

I lost my voice for real now but it wasn’t supposed to be like that at first. I just wanted to mess with Y/N and freak her out for a day.

I’m seriously going to punch him.

She was a lot softer toward me after that, you know. I know it’s extremely selfish of me but I just can’t help being so happy. I’m sorry, mom. I really am.

Han Jisung you fucking idiot.

I was going to surprise her on my birthday by saying ‘good morning’ out loud but nothing came out. My voice was gone.

Guilt, anger, remorse take over you. You knew nothing of this. You never once questioned for a logical reason behind the loss of his voice and kept moving onward as if it’s not that big of a deal. You didn’t suspect it as a kind of prank, either. But you still care, all this time! You have been doing everything in your power as a way for both you and Jisung to treasure himself even if he can’t speak anymore.

I went to a check-up last week. Nothing came up. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

However, without fail, the obnoxious part of you will keep wandering back to the concept of soulmates that has been engraved so deeply into the society you’re living in. It makes no sense to you that Jisung lost his voice for no reason right before his sixteenth birthday. This explains it all now.

It’s going to be okay, mom. Because I have Y/N. I know she would come running toward my side over and over again even if she can’t hear me anymore. I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.

Jisung knew the penalty for being the first to exchange any words of love yet he still did it. And you were too busy overlooking that stupid pride of yours to say those three words back.

It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget what I used to sound like. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

Jisung fixes the strap of his backpack, looking up at his mom after slipping into his sneakers. She ruffles his bed head and hands him a small white box with Jeongin’s bakery’s signature logo on it.

He tilts his head in faint confusion, peering at the box of pastry in his arms.

“Give it to Y/N on the bus, okay? Her parents aren’t home right now. You know how she would always skip breakfast when they’re out of town.”

His eyes light up instantly in realization and Jisung nods, preparing to bid her farewell. Just then, his front door comes flying open. It can’t be a mere acquaintance because there are very few people other than his parents and himself who know of the spare key hidden under the welcome mat.

As Jisung turns around, he’s keenly aware of your teary eyes already trained on him. Which in hindsight, makes no sense. As a result, panic rises within the hollowness of his chest, his lips falling agape but no coherent words come out.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” his mom flinches, slightly caught off guard, “Is everything okay?”

A scowl stretches over your contorted features as you shut the door loudly. “What the hell is this?” you question, shoving the familiar notepad into his chest. “A prank? A prank?! Do you think that this is funny?”

Jisung’s frantic eyes move to read the paper and every single color on his face drains tremendously. He easily recognizes the peculiar paragraph by how much lighter the ink is compared to the rest of the messy lines because his pen was running low and his hand couldn’t stop shaking.

Your voice.

His eyes avert back to look at you. His brows furrow timidly and shaky breaths burst from his lips almost like a desperate cry for help. There’s too much he wants to say, too many things to explain, and too many questions running through his head that he can’t process what to do next. He might just overwhelm both you and himself.

I need to hear it again.

And you might not stay by his side this time.

“Okay, don’t answer me then, I guess,” you chuckle lowly, dipping your head and turning around.

Jisung grabs at your sleeve instinctively and drops the pastry box, his gaze empty and all too knowing. Sorrow glazes over his starry eyes when it starts becoming hard to breathe properly. The outlines of his lips are moving non-stop yet nothing comes following after that.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you rasp out and tug at his hand. Then it hits you. He’s like this because of you. Jisung lost his voice because of you.

His mom cuts into the conversation, “Y/N, you don’t understand!”

“I’m sorry, auntie,” you smile sadly and take off running into the streets.

You, in the midst of your self-loathing and guilt, allow your feet to go wherever they want as your vision spirals into a blur. A single droplet threatens to fall when a forceful hand yanks you back to reality.

It takes Jisung a moment to regain his regular breathing pace. And when he finally gets it, all he can do is call out to you with the same inaudible sounds and the same desperation in his eyes. It seems as though he’s fully aware that the prank was the stupidest, most irrational thing he’s ever done. But there’s more to the ocean within his eyes than just remorse.

“I already told you,” you clench your jaw and slap his hand away, “I don’t fucking know what you’re saying!”

A deep sigh. “Why am I mad? Of course, I’d be mad! It’s because of me that you lost your voice! It’s because I like you, too! Yet I never said it back… You lost your voice because of me! Don't you get it? Why can't you just hate me for the sake of it?!”

You miss his voice. You miss it a lot.

You want to hear it again. You want to hear him call you by your name. You want to stay up late and talk about anything to the ends of the Earth and back with him. You want him to be the obnoxious, chatty Han Jisung you've always known.

You miss how annoyingly loud he is.

“Y-Y...Y/N…!”

Jisung collapses onto his knees, a hand on concrete while the other is on his neck. His chest rises and falls unevenly, muffled noises of discomfort echoing deep down from his throat. Despite that, what you heard just now, is his voice.

“Answer me when I call your name. So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“I promised you, didn’t I,” you spread your arms and smile warmly, “That I’d always answer when you call my name. As long as I can still hear you, I will come running toward you over and over again. Doesn’t matter what it takes, doesn’t matter where you are.”

Jisung lifts his head and tears come rolling down on his cheeks. His throat feels swollen when he stutters with difficulties, trying to convey what’s in his head, “Y-Y/N, don’t- don’t go! Please don’t leave me...!”

“Come here,” you close your eyes with the widest grin on your lips, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Only when Jisung grows closer and throws his arms around you, sobbing into your uniform do you convince yourself that all of this isn’t a hallucination. The hug is a lot stronger than what you’d expect. First of all, you nearly fell over from the impact and your arms are pinned so tightly to your sides that you feel like your ribs are going to snap.

Everything is so overwhelming that all you can say is, “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles into your hair and loosens his arms a bit so you can loop your hands to the nape of his neck and hair.

“You’re so annoying, Han Jisung.”

He purses his lips, sniffling, “You tried to make me snap on purpose. Meanie.”

You quirk a playful brow, “Still like me now?”

“Yeah,” Jisung smiles, “A lot.”

Because he knows that he has you. Until every last star in the galaxy explodes as a supernova, Jisung has you.

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jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger · 3 years ago

Text

- your warmth || taehyung

[summary] Zee had been stood up by her boyfriend, Taehyung... on accident when he forgets to pick her up from work. So he makes it up to her the only way he could.

[pairing] Taehyung x OC

[genre/warnings] fluff, shirtless tae what, mild angst?

[word count] 1.1k

[a/n] I AM BACK! MAKING A COMEBACK AFTER MONTHS 😭 oh gosh i missed doing this so much! I have Zee to thank for giving me the go for making a small blurb turn into this, so i'm dedicating this to her and this was greatly inspired by that video tae posted ;) i hope you enjoy this! 🥰

*○※○*

Zee pressed her key into the knob and turned, feeling the cold creeping farther into her puffy jacket. The thought of being in the comfort of her house was all that kept her from curling into a ball for warmth.

She had waited for her boyfriend, Taehyung, to pick her up from the bus stop like he’d said he would the day before, but it seemed he forgot. She was a little mad because they knew it would snow around the time she got out of work, but he never made it.

Not wanting to bother him, Zee waited a little longer till the last bus made its rounds. She tried rushing home after it dropped her off, but the air around her felt as if it were slowing her to a freezing halt.

She somehow made it home, slumping against the door as soon as she came inside. The heater was doing its job, blood rushing back into her cheeks as she took it all in.

“Zee! Are you home?”

Tae must’ve heard her open the door.

Zee stood up slowly and made her way to the couch. She peeled off her jacket and lay back, her head resting gently against the wall.

“Hey…”

Taehyung made his way to her. He must’ve been in the kitchen. That explained the sweet scent of eggs that started to take over her senses as soon as she sat. He kneeled down and smiled at her.

“You got a little something on your head.”

He lifted one of his fingers to her hair, flicking a tiny piece of snow off. It melted as soon as it met the floor; Tae’s eyes on her the whole time.

“Got it.”

Zee stared at him with a blank expression, too tired to communicate, and even a bit mad still from his lack of memory towards picking her up.

“Babe... is something wrong?”

“You forgot.”

Taehyung crinkled his brows, clearly still unsure about what’s wrong.

“What is it?”

She looked down at her fingers, playing with one of her rings. It was cold to the touch, the silvery material taking its time warming up to the contrast in temperature inside.

“You never picked me up.”

Suddenly it seemed to click in his mind. He had come home from work the day before and complained that he wasn’t getting enough time to spend with his girlfriend. So, he proposed picking her up and having a bit more time to talk. And, he blew it.

“Zee… I’m so sorry.”

His eyes shone with concern and guilt as he brought his hands up to her cheeks. He cupped her face and felt the faint drop of temperature. He couldn’t believe he forgot. He was so caught up with dinner and decorating for the holidays that he completely threw that task out of his mind.

“I’m sorry… you had to wait so long. You must’ve been really cold.”

Zee nodded lightly, leaning into his big hands, the warmth radiating from them enough to soften her mood. She really didn’t want to do anything but stay that way.

“Are you feeling a little tired?”

Taehyung stood up, removing his hands from her and smiling at the way the corners of her mouth dropped to a cute pout.

“I’ll be right back.”

Zee watched as he nearly ran into their bedroom, bringing her knees up to her chest. She had had a pretty tiring day at work, all of her energy spent reviewing the work other people hadn’t completed and trudging through that snow. She wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her forehead against her knees.

Taehyung came back minutes later, his hands occupied with a hoodie. This time, his shirt was nowhere on his body. He tapped against her shoulder and gazed into her tired eyes.

Zee took a moment to adjust to the light again. Her eyes focused on her boyfriend’s nose first, then his eyes, and finally, his bare chest.

“Why… are you shirtless?”

“Here, let’s get you changed into this first.”

Taehyung held her arms as she got up; Zee’s head spinning momentarily from the sudden movement. She raised her arms to let him take her shirt off and smiled as he tickled at her side.

He rubbed his hands together when he finished, admiring the way his girlfriend seemed to be drowning in his big hoodie.

“You look adorable, babe.”

Zee brought her hands up to cover her mouth, thankful that the sleeves extended past her fingers and hid the blush painted over her cheeks. She loved having him there to help her on days like this. It showed her how much he didn’t mind letting her rest up and not have her worry about taking care of him, too.

“Zee, can you jump?”

Taehyung bent his head down to look into her eyes. His hands found themselves at home on her hips as he pulled her closer to him. He was gripping at her like he wanted to just melt into one, the soft cotton of his hoodie feeling good against his skin.

Zee hummed back a response and placed her hands on his shoulders, her feet lifting themselves off of the ground. The next moment they were wrapped around her boyfriend’s waist, her light giggles echoing between the two of them.

Taehyung grinned as he tightened his grip around her back, walking over to the kitchen. Pressing his nose to hers, he bumps them together a few times, stopping only when he reaches the counter.

One of Zee’s hands ended up on his cheek, the soft palm against his newly growing stubble. She stared at it and bent to kiss it, feeling the little rough hairs poking against her soft lips.

Taehyung set her down on the counter and moved in between her legs, keeping his arms around her. He smiled as he let her kiss him, bringing a hand up to twirl the ends of her short hair.

“Do you like it?”

Zee pulled back, a confused glint in her eyes.

“Like what, Tae?”

“My new look. The facial hair and…” He looked down, eyeing his bare upper body. “This.”

Zee giggled, her hand pressed against his chest, right above his heart.

“Of course, I do! You look really handsome.”

He smiled at that: her happiness. He pressed his lips against her in an instant, wanting to be closer. They stayed there, unmoving, just wrapped up in each other’s arms as tightly as possible. Taehyung’s heart swelled with happiness, too, taking it all in.

She was finally home, and in his arms. There was nothing else he could wish for this Christmas.

*○※○*

[a/n pt.2] this is an addition to the christmas event that @softbobamilktae and I have been collabing for on her blog - please check out her posted and upcoming stories too ^~^ gahhh i'm so excited to post lol, i have a few more things coming to post this week and next so i hope they go up! thank you for coming by!

[tagging] @taehoneycheeks + @jinnie-forthe-winnie + @galaxtea-writes (this is the first time im tagging you after you asked to be on the same day i posted my last story XD)

a note that i would really appreciate it if you could like/reblog the story if you enjoyed it. take a peek at my masterlist to see if anything piques your interest, too. if you would like to be added to the taglist, please send me an ask or comment under any one of my stories! 🥰

#ff: your warmth #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagines #taehyung oneshot #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts one shot

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unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 3 years ago

Text

Tour without You

Summary: fans saw the video of cal singing ghost of you and people think you two broke up.

a/n: SO YALL KNOW WHICH VIDEO I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT? Idk if he was actually crying, but a part of me tells me he was, but idk who knows, but i hope he was okay and is doing okay now.

You were currently home watching duke at yours and cal’s place. You couldn't go on tour with cal because of work, so being alone was a norm you had grown into. Whenever you didn't go on tour you and cal would spend time calling one another whenever a show was over, so he could see you and if you needed to comfort him for anything. He hated when he had to leave you alone, but you would reassure him you had someone that was a part of him. Duke would usually stay with the dog sitter, but when you stayed back home you watched duke. You two would have some quality time together as usual so the small pup can use his energy throughout the day.

For Cal though today, just wasn't his day. Their bus tour had taken a re-route, they got to the venue late, he couldn't focus during rehearsal since it was cut short, from them arriving late. Usually when stress came he was able to handle it well, but you usually were there to comfort him right there and then, which also added to his stress as well, not being able to be with you in moments like these. Fans in the audience and online had seen his expression and worried for him, especially when singing Ghost of you. He hated that his stress would reflect how he acts during shows, but today was really bad for him. Cal doesn't really notice when fans are recording, but a video had gone viral during the concert within minutes and fans skepulating about you and cal. You had no idea of this hence you not being near your phone all day and having a nice day out with duke. Your phone had been blasting all night and once you got home with duke you checked it once seeing all the notifications on all of your socials.You were slightly confused as to why there were so many so you checked it out.

@5SOSUPDATES: is it possible cal and y/n broke up? Could be because they haven been posting with one another. Also today’s performance he seemed sad, especially during Ghost of you.

“What the hell?” you said as the puppy barked at you as you continued to look for something that gave you some sort of idea that was going on. Then MTV also made a topic off of it.

SPECULATING BREAK UP RUMOURS: POPSTAR CALUM HOOD AND GIRLFRIEND Y/N L/N POSSIBLY BROKE UP BEFORE A SHOW DURING TOUR

You were quick to find the resources they were using to claim these speculations and there was a video of cal singing ghost of you, at first it was all good, he was singing good, you saw no sad emotions, but when it got to him harmonizing, with the ghost of you, that's when his expression changed. At first you thought that it was just the way he was singing. But you looked over and yeah you were convinced he was crying.

You tried to first go over anything you might have said to make him upset, but there was nothing, you texted when you could and he seemed fine the night before, so you didn't know what was wrong. Unless he lied to you, which he would do when he was away from you. He didn't want to bother you, but you always told him to talk to you when he was feeling down and not himself. You were always going to be there to talk to him always. Just then you got a call from mali, you were quick to answer as she probably has seen these as well.

“Mali, hey.” you said as she spoke, “hey super weried, but have you been on your socials and possibly MTV?” she asked as you sighed, “yes i have.” you said as she contuned, “okay, is it ture?? Did you two break up? Omg did cal do something because i swear-” she said as you giggled and cut her off, “no we didn't, well at least i think so, but uh, no i called him before this show and he seemed fine, but you know how he is, he doesn't tell the full truth until you get it out of him.” you said as she hummed, “thats true, well are you talking to him tonight?” she asked as you hummed back, “yeah i should be getting a call in about an hour, i dont think he has checked his phone yet, so i'll call you first thing alright?” you said as she hummed and you two said your goodbyes. As your phone was still blowing up, more and more rumours were being made, but you didn't expect to be getting attacked.

5SOSWILDFLOWER: Yall, there are some photos of y/n with another guy before cal had gone to tour, guess cal has a reason.

Caly/n_stan: i don't think she would cheat though, they've been together for years.

Lukehemmingsstan: i mean yeah but people change especially when dating a celeb, and it wouldn't be the first time a 5sos member would be cheated on.

@mikeycliff5sos: i mean you can tell she was just in it for the money and the fame, she never spoke about her job.

You were at first confused as to what pictures you were talking about, but then you clearly remember you were with the dog sitter, who happens to be a guy. He was one of Cal's best friends and he always took care of duke when you were away. You were there before cal had gone to tour, to tell him personally that you were staying with duke, since you knew him and it would be nice to catch up on duke’s behavior. Of course the fans didn't know that, but that didn't mean they should attack you. You were kinda stressed about this situation, especially with the things being said, fans even started to question your real intentions with cal and wondered if you were just after cal for his money and fame questioning your line of work as well, which wasnt public because you line of work was importnatn, you were a visual editor at entertainment company and well you kept it private and you didn't want any problems.

On cal’s side of things, he hadnt checked his phone at all wanting to handle one side of stress at a time. After teh show he realxed before calling you, making sure he looked good and fine. But once he lifted his phone he had seen so many notifications, at first he thought it was about the show from tonight but when he clicked he saw everything that was being said about you and him that you two had broken up and the means things being said about you. He was quick to call you as you answered quickly hoping he was okay.

“Hey” you both said quite rapidly, “sorry you go first.” cal said as you sighed and spoke, “are you okay? But i want to know the full truth cal, you know you can talk to me.” you said as he rubebd his head and wished he had spoken to you before anything, he knew if he talked to you hten these rumours wouldnt be made. “Fuck love, im sorry, we had to reroute the show for tonight we got there late, and rehearsal was rushed and, today i didn't do my best to hide my stressed emotions, i tried, but i couldnt, all i wnated to do was talk to you before the show, but i wasnt able to,” he said as his voice was cracking and you felt bad for him, you knew he handled stress well, but you knew today was one of those days, “bub its okay, just talk to me about this kind of stress to help you when you can, no matter what time it may be. I know im not htere, but remeber im a phone call away, always. No matter waht okay, you call me when youre feeling like this.” you said as he smiled a little missing you so much more than he should be able to.

“Youre too good for me you know that? Im sorry for waht the fans are saying, i'll straighten it out babe, they shouldnt be saying this stuff about you,” he said as you giggled, “its fine, it hurt at first, but i mean this all happend beucase i was out with dukes dogsitter,” you said as he laughed a little, “gosh the fans are really out of hand, i love you so much, youre there for me more than many times i could even count, you know youre it for me,” he said as you blushed hearing his words, he would tell you this all the time. It was true, you were it for him and he was it for you. “And youre it for me too, and i'll happily be there for you, always you know that.” you said as he smiled and jsut couldnt wait to get home to you. After talking for about 2 hours, you said your goodbyes and you had gone with the rest of your day as cal had straighten out with the fans about his citation.

He posted a picture on his story of you and captioned it:

To clear out the rumours from today, me and y/n are happily together. y/n has not and has never cheated on me, for those who know she is everything to me and i will do anything to not lose her. There is no anger towards this situation jsut please, be careful with what you say on the interent, even if y/n and i dont post about us everyday its not htat wer are not together, we like to live in the present with one another since i go away for tour. Usually shes here with me, but sadly she isnt. So again please just be aware with what you are posting, we are human and things that were said towards her will hurt anyone.

#calum hood #calum 5sos #calumthomashood #5sos calum #calum hood imagine #calum hood 5sos

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tobi-momo · 4 years ago

Text

Your Cupid

a/n: hihihihihidihgl;df im finally posting again!! so sorry to take so long! also- im so so so sorry if this is bad i really wanted to post so i kninda rushed the end, and ik its long im so sorry😭 also i hope you find out soon in the fic and interpret yourself but just to let you know the title is referring to Oikawa, not Iwa.

Pairing(s): Iwaizumi Hajime x reader | Oikawa x reader (PLATONIC)

Genre: Slowburn!!! Romance, Fluff, Angst, Comfort

Warnings: Cursing, i think that's it?

Word Count: 4k

Synopsis: Being childhood best friends with Oikawa meant you weren't going to hear the end of it when it came to volleyball, when you finally agreed to become the Seijoh manager, he suddenly started to regret introducing you to his other best friend, Iwaizumi.

It wasn’t your choice, being here. You were forced to come, Tooru practically dragging you to the gym while you whine and complain, his cocky smile and fake charm trying it’s best to convince you to stop resisting. You barely know a thing about volleyball, even though always going to Tooru’s games and helping him practice when you were little, you never really caught the whole jist of the sport. He vowed to help you, to always be there when you have questions about it.

So with an elongated sigh, and a pinch to the bridge of your nose, you agree. You would become the manager of the Seijoh Volleyball Club.

~.~.~.~

The first practice you had attended consisted of balls flying, smacking aggressively on the ground; your eyes not being able to keep up with them, instead finding entertainment in the players instead. Tooru had introduced you to them, each of them holding their hand out for you to grab and shake gently before letting go and subtly wiping your hands on your uniform. He had mentioned another best friend, one that he had been trying so hard to get you to meet, wanting to complete his holy trinity. When you refused to go anywhere he would moan in defeat, collapsing on your bed while fake pouting and turning around to pretend that “y/n doesn’t love me anymore”. You would always just hit him with a pillow after that, resulting in an all out war. You had assumed the other guy refused as well, as Tooru never mentioned if his poor friend desired to meet you.

You guessed even after the ace met you for the first time the desire still never came up, his nonchalant nod and monotone greeting of his name showing proof of that, even before he turned around to walk away without a care in the world. He never took your hand, he never even looked at you; must have been too busy, throwing the ball in the air before running and leaping upwards, smacking the ball on the other side of the court, a loud grunt bleeding through his throat when he misses his target, running to and under the net to receive the ball. You watched him, pupils stuck on the way his body moved so flawlessly through the air, the way his rough, calloused hand hits the ball, making it mold around his palm and forcing it through the air without resistance, the loud slap that echoed throughout the gym when the ball made contact with the polished floors, the annoyed glare he made when the ball didn’t go where it was supposed to.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

“Y/nnnnnnn,” Tooru mewled, his fingers waving in front of your face, his fingers snapping together to grab your attention. His head turns, eyes widening dramatically when he finds what you were so distracted by.

Only regret ran through his mind at that moment.

~.~.~.~

You had attended most of Tooru’s games, but you had never really paid attention, as your eyes kept drifting towards the scoreboard and the clock, impatiently waiting for the final whistle to be blown. This game however, was different. Your attention was nailed to this game, your hair pulled back and your hands gripping the rotation sheet ever so tightly, your breath coming in hitches when the score rises, the atmosphere becoming so much more intense than you remember.

Awe was painted all over your face as you gaze at your best friend setting the ball so beautifully among the court, it flying towards the wing spiker just in time for him to strike it down on the other side of the net, gusts of wind following after- the hair of the libero on the other team fluffing up as they stare at the number four player. You watch him smirk in victory and his hands balling up in congratulating fists. The rest of his teammates whooped and cheered, patting him harshly on the back, a shared smile between him and Tooru before their knuckles joined in a tiny bump before returning to their sides.

Then, his eyes went to yours. The sweat dripping down his heated face and his heaving chest disappeared after you caught a glimpse of his green iris’. They were piercing; cutting into your brain and engraving themselves in your memory. How were you ever going to get them out of your mind?

You didn’t notice him walking towards you, his arms slightly swaying back and forth as he walked, his quiet footsteps picking up speed only a tad towards you. Then, as your mouth opens in an attempt to speak, the light of his green eyes floods your pupils when the words catch in your throat. “I- you were-”

“Y/n-chan! How’d you think of the game? Being so up close and personal like that has to make a difference from the stands, right?” Tooru’s voice bleeds straight into your hearing, interrupting your stutter. This was one thing you’d have to thank him for later.

~.~.~.~

“Wait, I’m confused, what’s that for?” You point to an arrow on your clipboard, looking up in confusion towards anyone who would listen. The captain was busy announcing whatever he wanted to the team, making them groan in annoyance and roll their eyes, Tooru only continuing with his story.

“What’s what for?” You heard from beside you, the low grumble of his voice seeping into your ears, making you jump backwards. The palms of his hands move to grip your arms firmly so as to not let you lose balance, his rough fingers wrapping around the flesh of your arm to pull you back up. He only stares, more of a glare, if you were being honest. He looked madly confused, or it may have been his resting bitch face, you don’t know. It wasn’t until you were back on your feet when you decided to speak up again, subtly avoiding eye contact by letting your eyes zip from random item to item, finding purchase on the metal clip of the plastic board you were holding.

“Uhm, I’m just confused about what play this is,” you say, your finger pointing towards the specific circle and arrow you were questioning. His head tilts downward, his eyebrows furrowing as he narrows in towards your problem, a hand on his chin.

“That’s a back row attack.”

“A what?” You question, looking up towards him for an explanation, only finding his eyes still stuck on the paper.

“A back row attack. It’s when a hitter from the back row jumps up towards the ten-foot line and hits the ball on the other side,” he abbreviates, a little hand gesture making its way through the air.

“Oh, really? How would that work? Why wouldn’t the setter just toss the ball to a front row player?” Volleyball gets more confusing everytime you think about it. He glimpsed up at you, took a short breath, then shifted his feet, like he was getting ready for a long conversation; you just stood there, waiting for him to explain a little bit more before taking a quick look around the gym, the cart of balls standing out to your line of vision. You hold a smirk, his head following your movements as you turn around to set the clipboard on the bench and walk towards the cart full of balls, picking one up and bouncing it on the floor.

A single eyebrow raises, but he still follows you to the court. “So, if I were to toss...to,” you put a finger on your chin, pondering, “back there,” you point to middle-back, taking a step towards the spot, “where would I be over here?”

He understood immediately, nodding his head as his legs made their way to you, scaling the court with narrow eyes once he halts beside you. “Well, depending on the play and the rotation, you could be anywhere on the court, so you could toss to them from pretty much any position.” His explanation sounded brief, vague. It was just enough for you to get the idea, though.

“Uh, go stand over there,” he urges, pointing to the middle back position. “Do you know how to hit a ball?” You look at him incredulously, feeling a little embarrassed to say you barely know how to do your approach.

“Not...really?” You compromise, shrugging as you backpedal to the back row position.

“Here,” he jogs up to you, handing you the ball, “take this and go to where I was just now.” You comply, heading over to that position, shifting the ball between your hands. “Give me one.”

“What?” You question him as he pulls his ankle back up towards his back, stretching his quad.

“Toss me one and watch me.” Oh.

You do as told, under-handingly tossing the ball up towards the ten foot line, studying his footwork. His form was perfect, you thought, his right foot leading his approach until he jumps into the air, practically flying flawlessly as his arm comes up behind him at a perfect angle to shoot the ball straight down one of the back corners.

The setter on the other side of the court could see the sparkle in your eyes, the glistening of awe in your face as you admire his best friend. He had a feeling you would like him once you met him, but not like this. The idea of you two suddenly being fond of each other ate away at him, like he was about to lose someone. Maybe two.

~.~.~.~

Away games were the worst. You hated sharing a small bus with smelly boys who don’t know a thing called “boundaries”. They hover over you, their arms flailing and their mouths running. You were annoyed, to say the least, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes at the boy's antics, crossing your arms to separate yourself from them. You didn’t even get the chance to sit next to Tooru, who got stuck on the inside of Kindaichi, messing around with Matsukawa and Makki.

You were uncoincidentally stuck with the captain’s best friend, Iwaizumi. You didn’t mind him of course, as he would put Tooru’s ego in place and tell everyone to shut up before you explode on them. You didn’t know if he noticed your irritation, your bugged eyes staring out the window, your head leaning against the glass. His head was also turned your way, you guessed to doze off to the moving trees outside, but you didn’t notice the way his eyes focused on your hair, subconsciously trying to count the strands while you look away, your eyelids drooping downwards ever so often.

Your dreary state was interrupted by a plastic water bottle being caught in the air, your nose coming face to face with a hand- the hand of the man sitting next to you, you infer.

“Guys, what the hell did I just say? Stop throwing shit around!” He yells towards his teammates, their playful demeanor turning pensive, their heads rotating away guiltily.

“Thanks,” you mutter, the words barely leaving your throat when he pulls away.

“No problem,” he dismisses, forcing himself to not glance up at you when he shoves the bottle in Makki’s hands.

“Hey- what the hell?” Makki whines.

“It’s yours, dumbass, take it.”

~.~.~.~

The red marker covering the white page gawked at you, showing you how you weren’t good enough for anything better. You couldn’t look at it any longer, the bottom lip of your frown quivering before you bring the inside of your elbow up to your mouth, muffling your sniffles and absorbing the steamy tears that scurry down your raw cheeks. You were better than this, what the hell is wrong with you?

Hiding in the storage closet wasn’t a good idea, The initial plan was clever, sneaking in there to calm yourself down before practice, needing to keep an optimistic mindset. That plan was ruined as soon as you broke down though, slow, and quiet but clear footsteps closing in on the door, like they were leaning their ear in to listen. Your mind hadn’t kept up with the time, as you hiccupped and sobbed even after the door was opened and light shined through the dark.

“Y/n?” You whipped your head away, refusing to look at them as you deal with your mortification. They scoot in, shutting the door until only a little line of light cracked through. “Y/n, what happened?” They sat next to you, closely you may add, dipping their head down to try and see your face. You avoid them, trying your hardest not to cry in front of them. “Don’t turn away from me, look at me,” they hush, placing their fingertips on your forearms, gently pulling them towards their direction, your head hanging down as your arms are removed from your mouth. “Look at me.”

You sniffle with exhaustion as you drag your head up, finally letting them inspect your glassy eyes, tears continuing to run down without fail. They had felt the hot liquid stream down their thumb as they wiped it away from your face, caressing your cheek as you fret.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head.

“Do you want my help?”

You nod. And you don’t move away when you find the vice captain’s hand reaching behind your head to cradle it as you whimper in his shoulder.

~.~.~.~

Study sessions with Iwaizumi became a regular thing. Whether it was him coming to your house and staying for dinner, or it was you falling asleep on his desk, you two never stopped doing it. Even after your grades went back up, the red marker leaving your memory almost completely when you get your new tests back. He gave you a look of approval, nodding his head a single time to show his acknowledgement. He wasn’t surprised when you came up to him and tugged him into a tight embrace, his large hands coming to hold your figure like second nature. He was used to this, your excited hugs and your bursts of energy and your lack of an attention span and your bright and sunny nature. It was funny to him how much other people burn you out, like a dying fire that needs more gasoline.

The second your body hit his, a breath slipped out, creating a little chuckle that filled your ears, the cozy warmth of his chest slightly leaning into you.

“Finally! I finally did it. Proud ‘a me?” You smirk at him, feeling a little full of yourself at the moment.

“Sure, sure, yeah,” he replies, slowly shoving your body off his, your feet stumbling as you let go of him, struggling to find balance. The hands wrapped around your arms keep you firmly planted on the ground, gently letting go the moment you stop moving around. They dive straight into his pockets, his head lifting to see your cheery expression. “You did good.”

You only smile in response, opening your mouth before a hand was planted on your shoulder.

“Y/n-chan! How’d you do? I heard trusty Iwa-chan helped you study!”

“Shut up, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi grumbles.

“I did really well, thanks to trusty Iwa-chan,” you emphasize, a glare shooting your way once the sound of your voice finds Iwaizumi’s ears. He didn’t like that. Tooru giggled, his hand half-covering his mouth to ‘try’ and stifle his laugh.

“Well, I did amazing too, in case you guys wanted to know.” A cocky grin made its way through Tooru’s face.

“We didn’t.”

“That’s awesome, Tooru!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m amazing.”

“Shut up, Crappykawa,” you and Iwa both chant in unison.

“Aw, c’mon, you guys!”

~.~.~.~

“I have to admit something, Y/n,” Tooru blurts in your room while he sits on your bed, his head hanging low while his fingers trace the thread patterns of your blanket. You spin your chair to face him, the atmosphere brought down when you see his quiet expression. Oikawa Tooru was never quiet.

“I thought letting you two meet was a good idea, I wanted us to be the power trio,” he strained a chuckle. “I just didn’t know that you two would become more than friends.” Your eyes expand, your breath immediately slowed and your movements coming to a full stop.

‘What do you mean by that, Tooru?”

“You know what I mean,” he waves you off dismissively. “I see the way you look at him, Y/n. I see the way he looks at you. I’m like the biggest third wheel in the world.”

You were confused, shocked. Was what was coming out of his mouth true? Did you really have different feelings about him than anyone else? Did he have them for you?

“I was mad, at first.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Like, really mad. I didn’t want you guys to have all that lovey-dovey stuff together when I’m right here, you know,” he gestures to himself; your head tilts in understanding, nodding. “I guess you could say I was jealous. It just irked me that you two never wanted to meet and then when you do you immediately fall head over heels for each other, completely ignoring the fact that I was the one to bring you two together.” He didn’t feel left out, like he did before, though. He had watched you two for a while, realizing that you two need him just as much as he needs you and you two need each other. He felt as if this was really who he belonged with. You guys.

You just stared at him, the cogs in your brain trying their best to process his words, your fingers coming together into a fidget. Your wide eyes landed on his, and although his pupils were nailed to the bed, you could see the sadness that didn’t belong. His eyebrows were furrowed in a way that made him look like he was worried, regretful, yet his lips stayed thinned together as his hair dangled in front of him. You could tell he was trying really hard to say this. Even if it was The Oikawa Tooru, he wasn’t invincible.

You try to recall all the times you’ve met with Iwaizumi, all the conversations you had, all the tiny contact you made when your fingers had mistaken each other’s arm or fingers for the textbook, all the times he caught your lingering gaze, but refused to let it go, the times he caught up with you after practice, slightly jogging towards you and stopping once he reaches the same spot as you- you naturally having to speed up every once in a while as his legs were much longer than yours.

“You’re right,” you mumble, your words coming out slow and smooth, your eyes focusing back on him from the blurry space you just dropped yourself in. His eyes have a double-take on your face, moving back and forth from the blanket to your face of realization. “I do like him more than a friend. And it’s because of you.” His back stretches upwards, sitting up straight. “So, thank you, Tooru.” It was now his turn to be utterly stunned- thank...you? “I’m glad you convinced me to join the volleyball club, to meet Iwaizumi, to allow us to have these experiences together, thank you.”

What could he say? “Your welcome”? It seemed unfit for the situation, he figured. So instead of plastering on a confident smirk and showing his “Great King”, he exhales deeply, looking straight into the holes in your eyes. “Just don’t break his heart, yeah?”

You nod in assurance, returning a determined eye. “I can do that.”

~.~.~.~

The next few weeks passed slowly, like the clock gave an extra two minutes with every second that went by. You had barely seen him, as he walked away from you every time he noticed your presence. He refused to look at you, the back of his head being the only thing to face you during practice. Why was he avoiding you?

“Iwa.” He doesn’t look up at you from putting a ball back in the cart, shutting his eyes before turning around. He stops when your hand grasps his arm, pulling him into a stop. He tugs his arm back, your grip hardening on his flesh, your sharp glare not letting him leave. “Iwaizumi.”

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose while screwing his eyes shut. “What.”

“Why have you been avoiding me?” You bring your hand up in the air with question.

“Why have I been what?”

“You heard me. Now answer me.” Your tone was strict, firm. It annoyed the hell out of him that it made him want to confess.

“I haven’t been doing shit. Stop following me like a lost puppy,” he growls, side eyeing you.

“Excuse me?” Your head bucks back, surprised. With one last tug, his arm is out of your reach as he walks away with his dark demeanor.

Then, he was gone.

~.~.~.~

You had spent a couple days thinking about it. How the conversations were so short, how he just completely dismissed you. Tooru watched you two go back and forth between bickering, you usually being the one to start the conversation before he tells you to fuck off. He was curious as well. You mean, that’s what you assumed from the conversation they were having in the gym before practice, ceasing your stroll when you hear their voices echo throughout the room, your body hiding behind the door so they wouldn’t notice.

“Iwa-chan, we talked about this, she just wants to be your friend, stop being so mean to her!”

“Whatever.”

“Iwaizumi, I’m serious. Stop being so cold to her,” the captain’s voice changes, his playful attitude gone in a swift motion, replaced with a scowl when Iwaizumi’s wide eyes find him. “What did she do to make you like this, huh? Such a meanie, Iwa-chan.”

“I’m not,” the number four defends, looking Oikawa up and down before taking a step back.

“Oh, I think you are,” he taunts, “you too were getting along so beautifully, it looked like. What happened? Scared?” He smirks.

“Of what?” Iwa’s eyes twitched, his face flushed.

“Of her not liking you back.”

The ace stammers, his mouth not knowing what words to spit out as he looks his best friend in the face.

He was serious, wasn’t he.

Iwa stood there, gaping at Oikawa’s satisfied expression while stumbling on his words, trying to find the best one to respond with. But he couldn’t. There was nothing he could say at this moment that would change the way Oikawa thinks, because Iwa knows he’s right. He knows.

~.~.~.~

You were frozen in place, your heart seemed to stop working, you couldn’t tell. Your nerves had stuttered a couple times- you weren’t sure you were even alive at this point. The hand that placed itself on your mouth had fallen to your side, leaving your silent gasps less silent now. Thankfully, they hadn’t heard you, but once you rushed inside with purpose and resolution, the gym door slamming shut, their heads had whipped your way.

“You’re telling me you liked me this whole time?!” You shout to him, walking closer and closer until you arrive right in front of him. His eyes stayed glued to you, confusion stirring back and forth throughout his whole system. He was scared. “Is that why you’ve been a dick to me?”

“I didn’t-”

“Now, now, Iwa-chan, let her talk.”

“Tooru,” you lour, “stop talking.”

“I’ve liked you since I saw that jump serve you did at my first practice, and you’re telling me that you like me too? Even though you’ve been avoiding me and pushing me away and telling me to leave you alone and-”

“You what?”

“What? I like you? Yes! I do! Now can you finally stop acting like an asshole?”

Silence.

“Uh…”

“He means yes, Y/n,” Tooru cuts in while patting the vice captain on the shoulder, laughing it off.

You take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair as you sigh. “Okay,” you exhale, “well, then...are we? Do you-”

“Mhm! He would love to,” Oikawa answers again.

You look at Tooru once more, biting your lip to hide your smile before nodding once towards him.

Thank you, Tooru.

im so sorry for this mess oh my god

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