#sorry i kept swapping between her and you my brain is so fried

[fyodior]

is there a chance dad!fyodor would get his daughter pregnant? wether accidentally or purposely? with or without her consent? the idea thrills me actually but im gonna hear your thoughts too :3!!

THAT THRILLS ME TOO!!!!!!!

she’d never accidentally get pregnant. fyodor doesn’t make mistakes. he cooullddd however get her pregnant “on accident” absolutely without her consent LMFAO i can see it happening bc she maybe was trying to push fyodor away, make a life without him, spend more time outside the house, and he needs her to know who she really belongs to. unbeknownst to you, he tracks your ovulation cycles, and knows the exact days he needs to poke holes in the condom or “forget” to pull out. he’ll just say your pussy was squeezing him too deliciously he was too distracted. getting you pregnant with his baby is the best and most permanent way to bind you to him and make sure you never leave his side.

but i do like the idea of him consensually having a baby with his daughter, and how proud you’d be carrying your dad’s child :P :D

[pinchan]

On that post that said “girls when the media they're obsessed with is never going to be as good as they wish it could be” you said jujutsu kaisen and I’m just curious what you would do to make it better :)

hi anon ^_^ this is getting less coherent each paragraph bear with me

i don't think i have anything new to offer. first thing i would change is the involvement of international armies since it felt like it threw a brick in the whole story jjk was setting up and the worldbuilding (not to mention it's showing gege's views that are looking kinda cringe)

so in the thousands of years sorcerers have existed no countries besides of japan have heard of them? none of the sorcerers in other countries have figured out something like tengen's barriers to optimize CE? its just really hard to believe that japan is this super special country in the whole entire earth. if we kept the scope to the small sphere of japanese sorcerers none of these problem would even be a thing in the first place. not to mention we don't need anymore major threats besides kenjaku and sukuna; they're a problem big enough that the cast is yet to solve for 200 chapters, and i'm sure they could last 200 more. i get that tsukumo's foreshadowed it in one of her lines, but the whole thing falls apart if you think about it for more than 5 minutes

if they had to be involved though, since i expect/hope that they won't really be a major threat but as another ingredient kenny needs for the chaos soup of their one thousand years science fair plan, i'd have the storytelling between the international negotiation and the higher-up slaughter be swapped. so for the big 200 i'd show them slaughtering the higher-ups that ordered for yuji's execution instead, and have kenny handwave the negotiations. the former was a pretty significant thing that happened and gege just... have kenny tell it to us? instead of showing it? considering how much the higher-ups have been an underlying threat throughout the story, the way gege handwaved it is as "oh yeah that happened" is just...?

going a step back, i'd have the culling game arc include more of the preexisting characters. gege had proved himself to be able to create fights that aren't only exciting but also offer glimpses of the characters' personality and struggles, so it'd be the perfect arc to let some of these characters shine. especially miwa that he'd teased but still hasn't returned. gege. gege did you forget about her. be honest.

i'd also have the new characters provide something into the worldbuilding or plot instead of them just being some randos with a gimmick. uro was the perfect character for it and of course she was sidelined for a boring ass man that adds nothing to either. i will forever complain about this. change kashimo's motive as well. they're a very fun character, but their motive isn't very interesting, and is pretty weird considering how they're putting everything they have to fight sukuna. i'd have their motive be a grudge, they had a humiliating defeat in sukuna's hands in their first life and now they want to get back at him

then of course there's the high-but-not-really stakes of culling game but my brain is fried at this point. sorry. im sure u understand. id kill yuta to keep the stake high. he already has his character and story arc completed anyway, much like nanami

then, have the next arc focuses on tsukumo, she's talkative and blunt so it wouldnt be unnatural if we get more insight on the world she seeks through her own words. as well as the situation on the college ever since shibuya and everything the higher-ups pulled to stomp down anyone that they felt was a threat for them. particularly yaga's execution. gege if you kill gakuganji before we see yaga's curse for him i will be. very mad

[machihunnicutt]

Could you write a tree bros or boyf riends body swap?

(Hey there! Sorry this took so long. I got a little carried away.)

Michael clenched his fists again. His jaw trembled though he tried to stop it. “We have to talk about this stuff Jeremy. You can’t just shut me out.”

“I said I’m fine,” Jeremy repeated through gritted teeth, but he was pulling his t-shirt back on. It was suffocatingly hot even in Michael’s basement and Jeremy had taken off his shirt. Michael had blushed furiously (because it was Jeremy so of course he had) before noticing the shock scars along his spine. He had had them from before. Michael had watched them fade over time during trips to the pool and whenever they happened to change around each other. These scars, however, were fresh. 

“That bastard’s shocking you again? Are you out of Mountain Dew Red?”“No I’m…” Jeremy didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“You don’t deserve that Jer. You know that right? This isn’t some self hate bullshit again is it because I can’t…”

“I don’t want to talk about it Michael!” He spat. “Can we just play the game?” It had been a good day up until then. Maybe Michael should’ve just kept his mouth shut.

Jeremy hugged his knees and stared at the fan. He looked tired, eyes sunken and skin pale. 

“Why can’t we talk about it Jeremy? If the Squip is bothering you I want to…”“You don’t understand Michael,” he said, shaking his head vigorously. “You just can’t understand okay? Let’s just drop it. I’m fine. Let’s play the game.”

Michael didn’t want to drop it. Everything in him was screaming that he shouldn’t drop it. But he didn’t want Jeremy to storm off by himself. If Jeremy was by himself he was weaker to the Squip and Michael didn’t want that. 

“Fine,” he said tightly. “Let’s play.”

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal if Michael Mell weren’t completely, 100% head over heels in love with his best friend Jeremy Heere. The crush seemed to complicate most everything. 

Of course he had no intention of ever telling him. Jeremy was still getting over Christine. After they’d broken up Jeremy said he was fine, and that they were great as just friends, but Michael knew him well enough to read the disappointment in his expression. Jeremy didn’t like him the way Michael wanted him to. And that was okay. He’d get over it. He was getting over it. 

Jeremy left around ten. They didn’t speak much after Jeremy’s outburst. It was awkward at first but soon they settled into the comfortable silence of friendship. Toward the end of the night they were almost back to normal: quiet banter and soft smiles occupied the (now less) sweltering basement. 

“See you tomorrow,” Michael said as he left. 

Jeremy managed a smile. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

***

The moment Michael woke up he knew something was wrong. First of all, the crack on his ceiling that he always fell asleep staring at was gone. Second of all, when he sat up he realized he wasn’t wearing the pajamas he went to bed in. And his hands weren’t his hands. And neither was anything else. He’d woken up in Jeremy’s room and upon stumbling into Jeremy’s bathroom he confirmed that he was also in Jeremy’s body. 

“Fuck,” Michael said with Jeremy’s voice. “Fuck! I’ve lost my mind.” He pinched Jeremy’s arm and it hurt. 

What are you going on about?

The sudden voice in his head nearly gave him a heart attack. It was low and annoyed in a vaguely menacing fashion. It was the Squip in Jeremy’s head. “This isn’t happening,” Michael said.  

What is your deal Jeremy? Has the pot finally killed all your brain cells?

The Squip thought he was Jeremy. He guessed it was weak enough now to reside on the sidelines of Jeremy’s brain. 

“No,” he said aloud, voice cracking in the cute way Jeremy’s always did. “I just need to call Michael.” If he was here then Jeremy must be at his house…in his body. He thought he might faint. 

We talked about this Jeremy. The Squip whined. You’re not allowed to pine 24/7. “Pine? I’m not…he doesn’t. Shit can you stop for a second?“ 

We both know you’re out of Mountain Dew Red. The Squip taunted cruelly. I thought you said you deserved my help?

Jeremy had said he deserved to be berated by this asshole. Michael’s chest ached. He needed to call him. He needed to call him right now. He grabbed Jeremy’s phone, and realized with horror that he didn’t know his passcode. Dammit. He tried Jeremy’s birthday, then Christine’s birthday, before giving up he tried his own birthday. The phone unlocked. Michael flushed red. 

He scrolled through Jeremy’s contacts until he found the name Player Two. "C'mon, pick up, pick up.” It went to voicemail. Michael’s heart was in his throat. 

“Jeremy! Are you up? You’re going to miss the bus,” Jeremy’s dad shouted from downstairs. 

This was going to be awful. This was actually going to be awful. He got dressed quickly, with his eyes closed and proceeded to brush Jeremy’s teeth and hair and put on his backpack and get on his bus which was all immensely weird. He had to find not Michael before class started. That is if Jeremy had even gotten his body to school. Worst case scenarios involving panic attacks and fear clouded his thoughts. Calm down Michael. Don’t freak out until you know you have something to freak out about. He chewed on his nails nervously until he felt a sharp shock at his, Jeremy’s he reminded himself, spine. 

“What the hell?” He whispered harshly. 

Don’t bite your nails Jeremy. The Squip said, amused. 

So this was the kind of shit he got scars for? Michael wished, more than ever, for the Squip to be a physical person so he could beat the crap out of it. Michael stopped biting Jeremy’s nails. 

When he got to school Jeremy wasn’t anywhere he usually was. He checked his locker and Jeremy’s and the picnic table outside where they sometimes hung out before class. He wasn’t anywhere. Rich was at the table. 

“Hey Jer, where’s Michael? Thought you two were joined at the hip.”

“I haven’t seen him. Have you?” Michael asked, trying to keep his voice even but Jeremy’s nerves betrayed him. 

Rich’s brow furrowed. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Michael squeaked. “Can you let me know if you see Jeremy…I mean Michael. I’m Jeremy, obviously. Yeah…”

Rich laughed. “Alright weirdo.”

Luckily, Michael knew Jeremy’s schedule by heart, and since he thought it might be more trouble to wander around looking for him, he headed to Jeremy’s first period English. 

He managed to keep a low profile until lunch, only slipping up several times by not responding to the name Jeremy. 

At lunch Jeremy wasn’t at their usual table. He pulled out Jeremy’s phone and shot him a text:

Hey Jer, I know this is super weird and you’re probably freaking out but if you’re at school you should meet me. If not I’m going to come over after and we can try to fix this Freaky Friday shit. Don’t worry. - Michael

“Jeremy!” Michael looked up to see Christine Caligula smiling at him with her lunch tray in hand. “Is Michael here? Can I sit?" 

"Yeah, of course,” he croaked. Michael liked Christine. He just didn’t really know her. 

“Okay bro, it’s time to dish.” She put her carton of fries between them to share and stared at him intently. 

“Dish what?” He asked dumbly. He thought, for a moment, that she might be onto him. Maybe his Freaky Friday fiasco had triggered others and Christine was actually Chloe or Jenna or Jake. 

“We have a deal remember? I give you all the hot gossip about the theater kids and you update me on Operation Confess Your Feelings to Michael Mell?”

“Confess my…” Michael nearly choked. “Confess my what now?”

Christine rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me. How are things regarding your huge crush on him?”

“I…um.” Michael took a long drink from his milk jug to avoid answering. 

“Um…Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m…oh shit I’m allergic to milk aren’t I?”

“Uh, huh,” Christine said. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m going to…uh, go to the bathroom. Sorry Christine.”

He darted off before he could hear her reply. He pinched himself a second time to confirm that this wasn’t all a twisted fever dream. It wasn’t. Jeremy had feelings for him? Like romantic feelings? Like maybe he reciprocated every gay thought Michael had had about him since the 8th grade? He locked a bathroom stall and stood there, thinking about it for a while. Jeremy’s hands shook when he was nervous. And when he stepped back out to look at the mirror Jeremy’s face was a splotchy red. He could do this. He just had to get through the rest of the day and find Jeremy. 

By the time he made it to his house he was a sweating, trembling, mess. The Squip shocked him three more times for various nervous habits. Each time he felt more on edge, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. 

He pounded on his door and Jeremy, well Jeremy in his body, answered immediately. 

“Michael!” Jeremy’s expressions looked different on Michael’s face. He could tell that his face didn’t normally look like that. “You are Michael right?” He asked after. “We Freaky Fridayed right?”

“Yeah,” Michael replied. “I think we did." 

Jeremy grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him inside. "I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, and too loudly. “I’m so sorry Michael. I don’t know how but this is probably my fault. Oh my god has it been talking to you? Did the Squip hurt you Michael I swear to god…”

Michael? You’re not Jeremy?

“I’m fine but what about you?” He took Jeremy by the shoulders and looked him over. “You scared me when you didn’t answer my text.” He hugged him tightly to his chest and Jeremy’s shoulders relaxed. 

“I guess I’m a good hugger huh?” He laughed. “You went to school as me?”

“Yeah,” Michael said.

Jeremy looked down. “I uh…kind of panicked.”

“It’s okay,” Michael said. His heart hurt. “How often does the Squip shock you?”Jeremy looked up at him, eyes, Michael’s eyes, watery. “Did it…?”

“How often Jer?”

“A couple times a day. Fewer when I have the Mountain Dew.”

Michael didn’t tell him that he’d been shocked four times. 

“I’m sorry,” he broke down. Michael recognized the quivering that always showed up in his voice. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry this happened. I’m sorry it…”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. It’s hard. I get that now.” Michael burned with embarrassment every time he got shocked. The more it happened the more it felt like he deserved it. He understood why Jeremy didn’t want to talk about it. But he needed to. 

“What else did you learn about me?” Jeremy muttered. 

Michael felt light headed. They were still standing in the doorway. “I uh…well Christine said that you…um…I, Jeremy?”

“Yeah?” It was weird to look at himself and say it, but he needed to be brave. 

“I’m in love with you.”

“You what?” He squeaked. 

“I’m really gay for you Jeremy Heere. If we weren’t in each other’s bodies I’d ask if I could kiss you.”

“I love you too!” Jeremy shouted, then quieted again. “That was loud. But I do! I uh…Christine told you didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I thought you were still hung up on her.”

“I’m not,” he replied. 

“Cool,” Michael said, grinning.

“Cool,” Jeremy repeated. 

“So…do you think we’ll wake up normal tomorrow? I feel like I’ve learned my lesson, or whatever I was supposed to.”

“I think so,” Jeremy said. “Do you wanna sleep here?”

“Sure.” He handed over his phone. “Text your dad.”

He was right. Michael woke up to Jeremy’s sleeping face. He’d drooled a little in his sleep and his eyelashes were fluttering slightly against his cheeks. Michael thought about the scars and made a mental note to order more Mountain Dew. He leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. Jeremy’s eyes fluttered open. His smile was wide and dorky. 

“I’m me.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Of course.”

Jeremy’s lips were soft and Michael’s pulse was quick. The kiss was gentle and sweet and perfect. Jeremy pulled back. 

“I’m glad you’re you,” he whispered. 

“I’m glad you’re you too.”

[forceofbill]

League Night 9-2-17

YAY, it’s the Fall split! We’re calling it the Fall one, okay? Gawl. 

Anyways, here’s the deets. 

Commanders:

2 Kruphix, God of Horizons 2 Samut, Voice of Dissent 2 Norin the Wary 2 Dragonlord Silumgar 2 The Scarab God 2 Maga, Traitor to Mortals 1 Selvala, Explorer Returned 1 Omnath, Locus of Rage 1 Grand Arbiter Augustin IV 1 Sliver Overlord 1 Mogis, God of Slaughter 1 Kaervek the Merciless

Color Wheel:

31.71% Black 21.95% Red 19.51% Green 19.51% Blue 7.32% White

I feel like that Rabbit on Alice in Wonderland. So much to write, so little time though. So I’ll do my best! 

Pod 1 Game 1:

Rachel - Sliver Overlord Patrick - Kruphix, God of Horizons Jonathan - Samut, Voice of Dissent Billy - Omnath, Locus of Rage

This game went pretty fast. Jonathan and I Tempted with Discovery twice in game giving us both around 8 mana by turn 4. I eventually pulled WAY ahead in the mana curve with other ramp spells and after fishing out all my basics (there’s 26 basics in the deck btw) I came to an epiphany. 

Omnath officially hates me. Yup, but that’s okay because I’m going to MAKE that deck like me no matter what. I’m getting my freaking Sac outlets one way or another in the future!!!! Especially when I have twenty-one 5/5 angry Jelly-men on the board. I will not be betrayed again! I’m gonna get on that Voodoo train and start mumbling to get my Goblin Bombardment. 

And from there, well I’ll let this image below explain:

Anyways,

Patrick threatened me with Cyclonic Rift when I had a pretty substantial board. I had to try and set him back with Chaos Warp, which ended up putting a Merchant Scroll on top just to get the Cyclonic Rift back. Zzzzz. Really? 

So I unfortunately had to kill Patrick by going all in on him. It was at this point that I was pretty much going to lose no matter what I did to Jonathan’s Samut or Rachel’s Indestructible Sliver army she had amassed. Rachel was searching up slivers thanks to the mana ramps we passed around and her board was slowly getting larger. So in a last ditch effort, I Tempted with Vengeance for 54 Elementals (giving me like 126 or something, still no sac outlet) with the hopes that I could block and bolt things since Omnath was out. I was also hoping Jonathan would forget his Rogue’s Passage (he didn’t) and I inevitably died to a large Craterhoof’d creature and Rachel followed soon behind. 

POD 2 - Game 1

Juston - Grand Arbiter Augustin IV Kevin - The Scarab God James - Norin the Wary Dustin - Dragonlord Silumgar

I honestly have no clue what happened in this game but what I can tell you is that James and his Norin the Wary had a Purphorous countered (sad) and his Impact Tremors did some work, but eventually died as well. That was a sick start. 

In the end, the game came down to the Dragonlord and The Scarab God. The fight was tedious but eventually The Scarab God fell, giving Silumgar the win. 

POD 1 - Game 2

Jonathan - Samut, Voice of Dissent Juston - Selvala, Explorer Returned Patrick - Kruphix, God of Horizons Dustin - Dragonlord Silumgar

I think we are catching on to Patrick’s Shenanigans! Kruphix was kept in check this past week and eliminated early MAINLY because he was holding his Enter the Infinite and his other combo piece in hand. 

The Selvala board was wiped several times. I actually asked how no one had anything on board (Patrick had a commanding lead at one point) and I was answered with, “”There’s been like, 4 board wipes. Everyone has board wiped.”

After the big poppa Kruphix was eliminated, most of the removal had been used up. This gave Jonathan a chance to kill with Samut (Commander DMG, Oh my!) and his remaining creatures, clenching a second win for the first week of League! 

POD 2 - Game 2

Billy - Maga, Traitor to Mortals  Kevin - The Scarab God Rachel - Mogis, God of Slaughter James - Norin the Wary

ENGAGING:

I’m not sure where to begin. Honestly, this game was just so insane. 

While everyone that played against James and Norin in the other pod had to deal with Impact Tremors and Dmg threats, we had to deal with something FARRRRRRR worse. 

I had a good start, I had mana ramp, Strionic Resonator, Doubling Cube, I was crushing it. Then Rachel and James killed my stuff and I basically did nothing for the rest of the game. 

So as Mogis is whittling Maga’s life total down and The Scarab God is pulling ahead in the creatures race, all hell breaks loose. 

James Played Confusion in the ranks which basically reads: 

Yep, James hates us all, so he played this. Oh, it gets better. Kevin made this worse thanks to have Omniscience out. So James got to play EVERYTHING in his hand. Lemme give you an idea of the items he played. 

This chaos went on for a few turns. Just total insanity until I finally had enough mono black mana to cast Cyclonic Rift... Yeah... about that.

It was a bit of an oversight on all of our parts. 

I Praetor’s Grasped a Cyclonic Rift and totally (accidentally) cheated and cast it with Mono Black mana to send everything back to everyone’s hand. Kevin and I thought it was like Gonti and you could use any colored mana. But since I cannot read we were both wrong. 

We actually didn’t catch this error until a few turns later. Sorry James! 

Not like it mattered though because two turns later, the forbid in Kevin’s hand had to counter a threat I was casting which left the board open for all the madness again. I instantly regretted my actions and began to go a little mad. 

So again. Confusion in the Ranks. 

Seriously though, there were more board items swapping from person to person that I didn’t know where to look. Everyone owned Mogis at one point but me. This was made even worse thanks to the abundance of Goats on the board that were created by Trading Post. Things were being countered by Planar Chaos. COUNTERED!!!!!! Okay, just my things, because I have the luck of the Dinosaurs. (Naya baby, woot). 

I basically top decked land the whole time, praying that Rachel would top deck an Obliterate and set us back to the Stone age. 

I’m not sure the card, but before draw phase we revealed the top card of our library and if it was a permanent it went into play. This nearly had me on the verge of manly, manly tears. WHY, JAMES?! WHY!? 

Rachel finally saved us all with an O Stone that went directly into play. YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! 

James lost his board control, Maga begin to top deck his threats and in the end, he got James and Kevin low enough to kill them both in one turn. Kevin with Commander damage and James with Drain effect. 

The final showdown was between Maga and Mogis. Mogis ALMOST won with a lethal land on board (which I didn’t even see). Besides our brains were so fried from all the trading, I don’t think anyone could see. I nearly missed my own lethal, but let Maga die to Mogis, cast him again and finished Rachel off. 

___________________________________________________

Steven played Maga and Kaervek later in the night after things got slow and placed second in both of his matches. Welcome to the league, Steven! 

The most notable play of one of his games was decking Kevin with Mindcrank on the board after Kevin showed him Mercy. Bad Kevin! 

Kaervek shows no mercy! It’s in his name! 

Okay, finally, Phew, POINTS:

Jonathan - Samut, more like Sa-puts out wins. Pssh. 10 points! He got a -1 for not playing his commander one game but made up for it by getting a commander damage kill! Woooo! Billy - 10 points. Although he got second with Rachel in the first match he made up an extra point by killing with Commander damage with Maga in the second game.  Dustin - Hitting that 9 points up with the Dragonlord. Another strong start!  Rachel - 8 Points. Rachels first league night and she threw up big numbers! Grats! Steven - 8 points. Also Steven’s first League night and he put up some big points too!   Kevin - 7 Points. Kevin decided to take it easy and just play the Scarab God this week. He may come packing big guns next week though.  Juston - 7 Points for hitting control in his first game and trying to Selvala it up in the second.  Patrick - 6 Points. Third in both of his matches thanks to Jonathan simultaneously killing people so easily. I’m sorry, Patrick, you forced the Jelly hands of Omnath the first round! Muhahahahaha!  James - 4 points. James posed a huge threat in the first game and was eliminated first. The second his chaos caused him to get eliminated first again. All the while he was cackling madly. 

Overall Points: 

Jonathan - 10 Points Billy - 10 Points Dustin - 9 Points Rachel - 8 Points Steven - 8 Points Juston - 7 Points Kevin - 7 Points Patrick - 6 Points James - 4 Points Tim - 5 Points (invoking missed weekend clause) Mr. Mike - 5 Points  (invoking missed weekend clause)

Oh man.... that’s a lot to type and remember. If you think of anything else, or something is wrong, let me know. My notes are always crazy shorthand.