#sorry i just find. this theme per se already fascinating and EXTREMELY fascinating re: mal
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Said it before but auuugh... malenia and kindred of rot unwilling mother/unwanted children relationship... loss of bodily autonomy... the result of that loss that you cannot undo but have to live with
#its about waking up and discovering that you just have. a plethora of spawn. born without your consent born from an act you find shameful#most of them don't even look normal. they are inhuman monstruosities who worship you and call you mother#because they dont know anything else you are their world they are dependent on you#and they look monstrous. they are monstruosities. because you are accursed from birth and no matter what normal life you wish you had#you will never get it. you will only be able to bear other monstruosities like you are without wanting you#because your body isn't yours and has never been#sorry i just find. this theme per se already fascinating and EXTREMELY fascinating re: mal#like that godawful std post had one (1) gem in it and it was how outer god inside of you can be interpreted as#sa or loss of bodily autonomy and i am. ah i can work with this
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