#sorry i have a really hard time putting emotions into words when im going through a nonfeeling gray period

[leclarifies]

THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE (LN4)

꒰ lando norris x ex!reader ꒱

synopsis┊in which lando keeps dialing your number even after you've changed it.

genre┊angst (im not sorry)

word count┊ 2.1k

aria yaps┊remember how i broke ur hearts with carlos sainz angst for my first fic about him? YEAH HERE'S THE LANDO VERSION!!!!!!!! i know yall love it either way so, enjoy reading! very short btw, i just wanted to put something out for today

"where did we go wrong? i know we started out all right. where did we go wrong? i swear i knew we'd last this time." - lany, "13"

it takes three rings.

then he hears that stupid automated voice again, "the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try—"

"for fuck's sake."

after he ends the attempted call, the furious typing is apparent in the empty, dark room. the artificial keyboard clicking fills the room as he tries his best to reach her. it's futile really, with every text he sends, the more agitated he becomes.

he knew that he shouldn't do this, that she was probably trying her best to move on, but he couldn't. he couldn't let her slip away from his grasp so easily.

"i just want you here for my races, is that so hard to ask for?" lando sounded desperate, he was desperate. he was a guy who needed his girlfriend and it didn't help that his girlfriend couldn't be there with him when he needed it the most, especially at times like these.

she was tired, he could tell, he didn't want to turn this into an argument but he was going to base it off of how she was going to respond, "lando, i can't. you know this. i have family here that i need to support, i can't just quit—"

"i'm not asking you to quit, i'm asking you to come just when you can," lando ruffled his hair so hard that it hurt, "the races are on weekends— for fuck's sake! why can't you just listen to me and actually hear what i'm saying?"

"i am listening! you're not listening to me!" she had tears in her eyes now, he hated it. he hated when he got riled up like this. it wasn't her fault, he knew it but he wanted her around him at least every few races, he hadn't been able to see her on the paddock at all this year and it pained him.

an exasperated sigh leaves his lips and he tries calling again, he knows she's not gonna pick up. he knows that he's probably blocked everywhere, but he wants to try. he wants to talk. he just wanted to fix things.

"the number you have dialed is—"

the next thing he heard was his phone shattering against the wall after he threw it across the room.

it was only two days later when he got a new phone and tried again, it wasn't going to go through. he knew it, but he just wanted to try. he wanted to show her that he was willing to make a compromise with her, just to make sure that she was there for him.

he didn't understand why he raised his voice so easily when it came to her, maybe because emotions ran high and he didn't know what else to do to express himself. he didn't know. all he knew was that he was a selfish prick and he deserved all of this.

he tried again.

"the number you have dialed is cu—"

he wanted to smash that brand new phone into the wall like its predecessor but he held himself back, he knew that the money that was needed to buy him a new phone was priceless to him, he was a formula one driver. it was pennies to him. all that money and he couldn't keep the most priceless thing to him, her.

he didn't care how selfish it sounded, or how convoluted their issues were. he just wanted her here, to hug, to kiss, to just comfort him. he had so many things on his mind right now and it could've been solved just by a simple touch and kiss to the forehead.

he was losing his mind and he knew it.

something akin to a sob bubbles from his throat when he hears the automated voice again.

"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try again later."

he fucked up, he knows now. she didn't have to rub it in his face like this, by changing her number and disappearing off of the face of the earth.

he just wanted to be home.

gentle knocking wakes her up from her slumber, it's unusual to get guests at this hour and on top of that, she wasn't expecting anyone. a huff escapes her lips as she gently takes the covers off of her and sits up on the bed. the knocks become more persistent as she begrudgingly gets up from her comfortable bed.

at first, she contemplates whether she should open the door or not but she opens it against her better judgement, her eyes widening when she realizes who it was.

"lando, what are you doing here? aren't you supposed to be in aus—"

she gets engulfed in a hug before she could even utter another word.

inhaling her scent after so long had been a breath of a fresh air for lando, he missed her. she's confused on how lando even knows where she lived. she had moved out of her last flat to avoid him on purpose, and now he's here, when he's supposed to be all the way in australia getting ready for a race.

his hug wasn't reciprocated, unfortunately for him.

"lando—" she was cut off by her ex standing in front of her, his eyes were glassy, puffy, like he had been crying all the way from australia to here.

"i just wanted to see you, that's all."

"we broke up two months ago, you can't just show up in front of my flat like this."

"i know but—"

"there aren't any buts lando, didn't me changing my number make it clear to you?" she folded her arms in front of her chest, her hair was still a mess from sleep and she was in pajamas, but her eyes were nowhere near his, not wanting to have any type of eye contact.

lando could only look down on the ground in embarrassment, he knew it was wrong. he knew he shouldn't have asked her friends where she lived, all of them had turned down his questions, telling him that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore but it wasn't anything a little persistence couldn't solve.

"is that all? you have a race to catch," she didn't even give him the chance to speak before trying to close the door on his face, but he blocked it with his foot, he wanted to talk. to fix things. he knew that things were irreparable but he wanted to try.

lando pushes the door open, despite her insistence of not letting him in, "i want to fix things, love—"

"there's nothing to fix lando, we're done. we've been done. what part of done do you not understand?" she was on the verge of tears, she didn't want to end it with lando, no, not at all but she felt that it was best for the both of them, she couldn't provide him with what he needed and he couldn't with her either, so it was best to just separate because why be in a relationship when you don't feel the love?

her eyes were still on the floor, not even daring to look up at lando's. it hurt for her too of course, just throwing away their year-long relationship out the window when the beginning of their relationship was so lovely, but now all there was is resentment and she didn't want that in her relationship.

lando couldn't utter anything out his mouth, he was stuck in place by her words. he let himself in earlier after he pushed the door open, he gently closed the door behind him before sighing, "we didn't even talk about it, you just decided for yourself that you didn't want to be apart of this anymore, you didn't even wait until my race ended before i could respond. how can i let it go?"

she swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked out the window, still refusing to look at lando, because she knew that if she did, she would start crying, "you just do lando. sometimes break-ups aren't always mutual, sometimes it's one person who doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. it takes two to tango."

lando tousled with his hair, what could he say to that? she wasn't wrong. she couldn't deny the hurt and sadness that was in his green eyes, she hated that she made him feel that way but they were nothing. they've been broken up. by definition, they didn't have anything to do with eachother anymore, but she still had that care inside of her heart for him. after all, it had only been two months.

"just hear me out, and by the end of tonight, if you don't want to see me anymore, i'm gone. i won't try to contact you anymore," lando gave an ultimatum and she was fine with that, because she knew well that whatever he said, she would still say no.

she sat down on her couch, patting the space next to her to at least give him some sort of hospitality, wanting to hear him out even though she was steadfast in her decision.

"i won't bug you to come to my races anymore, i'll even help you with helping your family—"

"you can't throw money at this problem, lando."

"i'm not throwing money at it, i'm just saying that it's an option and you can take it if you feel like you need it," lando's voice was always pleading— begging for her to hear him out. he wasn't that type of guy, never. all of his exes got the same type of treatment, if they said that they were done, then lando wouldn't even bother.

he was a formula one driver, he didn't have the time.

but for her, he did.

she looks up, her arms still folded in front of her chest, legs curled up beneath her as she tries to find a comfortable position in an uncomfortable situation. glancing at the clock on the coffee table, it read in bright red neon numbers that it at 4:27 am, far too early or late for him to be here.

"we've had a similar conversation before, and i refused. so i'm refusing again," she sighs before meeting lando's eyes for the second time tonight, "i don't understand why you would want to keep this relationship. it doesn't benefit you for dating a poor girl."

"do you really think i care about your financial status?" lando asked, almost if it the thought of him caring about his (ex)girlfriend's financial status was ridiculous. he didn't care, it's the way she made him feel for the entirety of last year. she made him feel whole, like even if the world was against him, she would still be there.

she was used to men coming into her life who could think that they could "save" her and lando was no different to all of those other men. sure, she was definitely struggling trying to pay for her younger siblings education while working and pursuing her degree at the same time but that doesn't mean she was a damsel in distress and she expressed that to lando.

lando closed his eyes in frustration, "no, i didn't mean it like that—"

"well you sure as hell worded it like that," she looks away from him yet again, refusing to meet his eyes again until he had to leave. her eyes were glued to the window that overlooked the city, it was beautiful, calming— peaceful even, "i'm not changing my mind lando, we're worlds apart. i don't need you helping me, i can take care of myself."

with that, lando bit his lip and she ushers him out of her flat.

it had been months since lando's seen her, but he never forgot. he couldn't. the way she smelt, the way she laughed, everything still stuck in his brain as he continued his career.

the world didn't revolve around him, so the show must go on.

calling her old number had also become routine, almost an obsession. every finish, every weekend, anything that had to do with his career, lando would try and call her and tell her how his races were going, as if he wasn't talking to an automated robot on the other end of the line. the automated voice was practically his best friend because he's heard the damn voice so many times.

"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected. please try again later."

and try again later he would.

he didn't understand himself, was it an obsession or was it the comfort that it gave him when he dialed her number? he didn't know. but sometimes he would hold up that phone to his ear and talk as if she was on the other end of the line, even though lando knew that there was no one waiting on the other line for him, not anymore.

but, the show must go on, right?

[chalkscene]

can i request fruba’s reaction to the first time they hug you when the curse is broken without you knowing? like it’s a complete surprise and you’re so happy? thank you so much!

IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT HERE IT IS!!! i don’t usually take requests to take the pressure of writing off of me but i just loved this prompt sm i couldn’t say no 😭

ft. kyo sohma, yuki sohma, hatori sohma & shigure sohma (separate)

after witnessing your failed attempts at making one rice ball, KYO suddenly decides to join you in the kitchen, “pay attention. i’ll only teach you once.” you fight back a smile because you know he’ll keep teaching you as long as you keep asking but you don’t point that out lest he change his mind. you expect kyo to grab a handful of rice. instead, he stands right behind you and cages you in his arms, putting his hands over yours to help you mold the clump of rice you already have in your palms. when you’re reminded of his curse, you quickly spin on your heels and push him away, dropping your rice ball in the process. to your surprise, kyo doesn’t seem remotely offended by your action. he’s more focused on the clusters of rice now scattered around your feet. a click of his tongue hits your ears before you hear him say, “you just wasted a good rice ball.” however, the expression on his face is free of disappointment—a small smile slowly curls on his lips as he waits for a realization to dawn on you and eventually, it does. “you’re…” you mutter in disbelief, caressing his face as if to convince yourself you’re not dreaming, “you’re not a cat…” at your reaction, kyo’s chuckles cuts through the momentary silence before he holds you in his arms, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head in wordless confirmation—this is real. and you immediately return his affection, not wanting to wait another second to bask in his touch. you don’t know which higher power to thank but you still find yourself silently expressing your gratitude like a prayer now that kyo’s curse is lifted. when you pull away, he reaches for the bowl of rice behind you. “this isn’t enough for the two of us,” he deadpans as if a life-changing moment didn’t just happen. you’re itching to ask him when he knew but you deem it a conversation for another time when a suggestion suddenly pops in your head. “we can go out and celebrate instead,” you say cheekily, “i’ve always wanted to try this cat café.” kyo rolls his eyes and you can’t help but laugh. “what?” you defensively exclaim in between giggles, “cats won’t cling to you anymore.”

ever since YUKI went away for college, the only time you’ve really had with each other is when he comes home to visit. you usually have an itinerary prepared but this time, yuki decides to ditch all that. “you have a surprise for me?” you teased him once on video call. yuki simply shrugged, laughing. you tried to coax it out of him but he didn’t budge. “if i told you then it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he countered and when you gave him a pout, he added, “i’ll just see you at home, okay? i love you.” so here you are now, sat in your living room while you wait for yuki to arrive. thankfully, it’s not long before you hear a click from the lock of your front door. “yuki!” you beam at the sight of him and he immediately mirrors your expression. you’re about to take his bags when he swings them out of your reach, carelessly dropping his things to the floor before he snakes his arms around your middle. in a panic, you freeze in his touch and soon, you’re attempting to shove him off of you. “yuki, your curse!” you cry but he only snuggles further into your body. and that’s when it hits you. the boy you love hasn’t turned into a rodent which can only mean one thing—there’s no more curse. you don’t know when or how and as hard as you try, you’re unable to form words to ask yuki about it with your emotions beginning to take over you. yuki only chuckles at your lack of response, “surprise.”

snap. HATORI immediately stops in his tracks upon the sudden sensation, “did you feel that?” “huh?” hatori is almost sure what he felt but he decides to brush it off at your confusion. “tori, you okay?” you ask, raising your hands to cradle his face but he involuntarily flinches at the closeness in case it triggers the curse. “sorry,” you quickly add. he shakes his head, declining your apology, “it’s fine.” you don’t talk about it any further on the rest of the way home but you’ve already reached your doorstep and he still seems distracted. you don’t want to part ways like this so you try again, “are you sure you’re feeling okay?” he doesn’t answer. “hatori?” “can i…” he starts before trailing off hesitantly. he doesn’t finish the rest of his sentence. without a word, he steps closer until there’s barely an inch between you then he wraps you in his embrace. “hatori, no!” you try to push him away in panic but you catch yourself in that same instant when you realize he hasn’t turned into a seahorse. holding your breaths, you both wait in silence for the curse to take effect but the next thing you feel is hatori’s arms tightening around you, making it clear he’s not planning on letting you go anytime soon. before your emotions can get the better of you, a chuckle is bubbling past your lips in relief, releasing any tension that has filled the air. “you have a lot of cuddles to make up for,” you tease hatori but your voice comes out weakly as you keep your tears at bay. and with you in his arms, hatori has never felt so grateful, “then let’s stay like this for a little while.”

“hi,” you beam at SHIGURE the moment he enters your home, “how was your day?” he doesn’t answer right away as if to ponder your question. “it was…” he momentarily trails off before adding, “interesting.” your eyebrows knot in confusion and that’s when you notice something’s off about him but before you can pose another question, shigure leans closer until he’s almost just about your eye level. “can i have a kiss?” he asks before he’s pouting his lips, sporting an effective pair of puppy eyes as you would expect from the dog incarnate. but all that effort only earns him a dubious look from you which elicits a dramatic sigh out of his mouth, “you know i’ve had a long day.” you can’t help but snort at his sulking but you eventually grant him his request. you’re careful to maintain a distance to avoid triggering the curse but in a swift and sudden motion, shigure pulls you flush against him as he kisses you with more fervor. your poor attempt to push him away does little to nothing against his strong arms that he can’t help but smirk against your lips. soon, he’s pulling away, his visage looking brazen as ever, “what’s wrong?” completely stunned and stupefied, you struggle to form the words on your tongue but a single thought plays in your mind—the curse is broken. when your eyes begin to well up, shigure’s cocky grin is immediately replaced with a smile so sincere that it’s such a striking contrast to the words that come out of his mouth, “we can do whatever we want.” then he’s kissing you again.

[daniiiboo]

mv1- champion

summary- after the last vegas gp, you and max have a cute moment :,)

dani's thoughts- AHHH! sorry it took me so long to post this, my procrastination boooo :( but congrats to max!!! im so happy for him :D

warning- uh nu uh nothin :)

word count- 1139

Bright lights of the Las Vegas Strip shone through the night, casting colorful luminescence across the city. The neon signs and the hustle of the crowd seemed almost like a world of their own, but inside the race paddock, everything was laser-focused on one thing: Max Verstappen's chance at his fourth World Championship.

It was an intense weekend, the energy palpable in the air, with fans lining the grandstands, their eyes fixed on the Red Bull driver. You’d been by Max’s side throughout the season, traveling the globe, sharing in both the highs and lows of his journey. Tonight, it all came down to this. If he could finish strong and secure the points he needed, he’d be crowned World Champion once again.

You were in the paddock, your heart racing as the laps ticked down. Max had been flawless all weekend, his precision in qualifying, the strategy in the race. You could see it in his eyes. He was on the edge of greatness. The fourth title was within his grasp.

From your vantage point alongside the pit wall, the roar of the cars passing was barely audible, yet tension hung thick in the air. You saw Max flying past every lap as he overtook the others with his gliding Red Bull through corners. Each turn was proof of the amount of work and commitment he has been putting into this. The end of the race was close by. He had done it. Max Verstappen was going to win the 2024 Formula 1 World Championship. He had secured enough points to clinch the title with a race to spare, an achievement few drivers could boast. The whole Red Bull garage erupted into a chorus of cheers, but you didn't hear them, not really. The only sound one could hear was the beating of one's own heart, like a drum with excitement and pure pride.

When Max crossed the line with the checkered flag waved above him, time literally came to a standstill. It all felt like a dream-a surreal moment when the world stopped for the feat that was just accomplished by this driver. Suddenly, the radio crackled as his race engineer's familiar voice cut through, congratulating Max on his fourth World Championship.

Max let out a deep, heavy breath, and on his lips, a beaming smile formed. Not a celebrating-after-a-win smile, but something a bit deeper, something that had been earned.

A few moments later, Max pulled into the pits, his Red Bull team surrounding him, ecstatic, clapping him on the back. You stood there, frozen for a moment, watching him as he climbed out of his car. His face was hidden behind the helmet, but you could see the way his shoulders relaxed, a quiet relief washing over him.

And then, his eyes met yours.

And then there it was-the look so familiar yet so full of emotion, love, and gratefulness. He walked up to you while the people surrounding him chanted and cheered, but at this moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you.

You stepped forward as he approached, your heart swelling with pride. You'd always believed in him, in his ability to be the best-but watching him win his fourth World Championship, standing right there in Las Vegas, made it all so real. The fact that you were here for the entire journey was what really hit you.

Max came to a stop right in front of you, yanking his helmet off to reveal wet hair and a tired, yet triumphant expression.

"Max," you whispered, your voice hoarse from emotion.

He didn't say a word, instead reaching for you, pulling you into a tight hug. His hands were trembling, a rare show of vulnerability for the usually composed driver.

“I did it,” he whispered, his voice full of awe. “I really did it. Four titles…”

You pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes, brushing your fingers gently across his face. “You’re incredible, Max. You’ve worked so hard for this. I’m so proud of you.”

A smile stretched across his face, his eyes glowing with both joy and disbelief. “We did it together.”

You shook your head, laughing through the tears that were threatening to fall. 

“You did it, Max. You’re the one who put in the work, who never gave up, who fought through everything. I’m just… I’m just lucky to be here with you.”

Max chuckled, wiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

 "Lucky? I'm the lucky one. You've been by my side through every race, every challenge, every sleepless night. I couldn't have done it without you.”

There was something so grounding about Max in that moment. In the midst of celebrations, press, and flashing cameras, he remained the same old Max one had always known. He was humble, dedicated, and unyielding in his way to greatness. Yet what made him so special was how he never forgot the people who had been there to support him-especially you.

As the cheers from the Red Bull garage grew loud, you could feel the pull of the moment, the whirlwind of emotions, the feeling of watching history. The team swarmed around them, and Max turned back toward them, giving high-fives and accepting congratulations, but his hand was still in yours. His fingers were tangled with yours, holding onto you like he did not want to let go.

It was all happening so fast, and yet you were in no hurry. You would savor this moment, the moment when Max Verstappen became a four-time World Champion in Las Vegas, with you by his side.

As the celebrations had died down, and the crowd started to clear out, Max took your hand and led you out of the paddock. Above, the lights of Las Vegas shone brightly on the Strip, and with them, Max turned that very same smile to you.

"What do you say we head out and celebrate?" he asked, full of excitement, yet strangely quieted.

You smiled, knowing this moment would stick in your head forever. "I think we've earned it."

Max tightened his grip on your hand, leaned in to brush a kiss against your mouth, and then he'd take you out into the night, together, off to celebrate his win really like Max Verstappen style. The world had come to see his greatness-again-but you? Just there, sharing in this victory with the man that you loved.

And as you walked hand in hand down the streets of Las Vegas, all lit up, you could not help but feel your chest swell with pride. This was his moment, yes-but it was also yours, because in the end, it was about the journey that you have shared together.

Max Verstappen had his fourth title in the bag, and with you by his side, nothing was impossible.

[tteokdoroki]

Aali!!!! I was gonna put this in the tags of your training scenario but got shy :(

but i immediately thought of Gojo!! And like he's not surprised you flipped him over due to you're strength, he has no doubts about how strong you are but it's the fact that he trusts you so much he unconsciously turned off his infinity for you <3 so now he's like !!!!!! because what!!!! but also you're on top of him and you look so pretty so now he's short circuiting double the amount!!!!

Like !!!!!!!! my brain is going crazy thinking about it - 🍓

☆༉ — SATORU GOJO. neither strong, nor weak - just in love.

about. combat training with gojo makes him realise just how strong you really are. inspired by this silly post i made yesterday, it wasn’t meant to become a whole thing but it did and now it’s…sad. im sorry. also pls don’t be shy ily :(

warnings. minors, ageless and blank blogs do not interact. sfw, angst, mutual pining, slightly unrequited romance, mentions of violence (they’re combat training), death mention, canon!verse, gn!reader.

you’re pissed. 

over the years satoru’s seen a colourful array of emotions splayed against your features. he’s seen joy, laughter, happiness — all of which are his favourites. he wishes he could have seen them more. but also sadness, anguish and a pain so deep he felt like he was dying right alongside you. 

he’s died once before, nearly, but it never could have compared to the feeling he got when you looked at him with pure hatred. because gojo had been the one to hurt you, then. 

you’ve never been one to hold grudges, you’re too good of a person for the world to hold anyone in such a negative light for way too long — but when you do experience these emotions, you feel them all too much and all too hard and everyone can see it too. maybe that’s why gojo picks up on your spike of anger so easily during training today, it could be the sick reason behind how much he’s enjoying you being pissed off too.  

because you wear your heart on your sleeve and your emotions on your face, so gojo knows exactly how he makes you feel — all of the time. “c’mon sweetheart, don’t lose focus. don’t you wanna beat me?” he taunts you, a cocky smile stretched over his lips as he dodges each of your blows, though the shades over his eyes hide the admiration he has for you.  

“fuck you.” you spit back harshly, as if the words scald your tongue. shifting your weight onto your back foot, you take a chance and swing your leg up high, just narrowly missing the silvery mop of satoru’s hair where his infinity goes up to protect him. 

for gojo, it’s easy for things to lose their meaning, slipping away from him like fine grains of sand through his fingers. at times when he should, he finds himself without a care — it’s easier to walk through life not giving a shit than to tie emotions to actions, people and places. if the strongest cares too much then people have to die. that’s why the wielder of the six eyes holds you to such high regards. you’re strong because you’re able to care — no matter what’s in your path or who might stand in your way, and what they might make you feel, you are able to be strong for those in need. 

you feel what satoru can’t. 

“i’ve been waiting all day for that, honey.” he quips back, lifting his shades just a little to bare the full brunt of your aura through his technique. “c’mon, let’s put in a little more effort, shall we? if i were a curse, you’d be dead by now.” 

everything gojo sees is magnified by one hundred, he could detect the smallest of changes no matter how close or far he was from you — and being able to witness frustration build up in your core along with stacks of your cursed energy elicits a pleasant reaction out of him. his head flops to the side, almost bored, despite how the corner of his lips quirk up into a lopsided grin. satoru loves how you’re just teeming with anger, from the top of your head right down to your toes — spreading into your fingertips as your cursed energy balls powerfully around your fist. 

and even though he catches it between his larger hands, the thin invisible veil of his infinity quite literally stopping you from killing gojo — he can still feel that you’re pouring your all into this, into him. even though you’re tired and dripping with sweat while your muscles burn so hot you fear they might melt away, you’re still trying. you still won’t give up. you’re still stronger than he ever could be. 

and he’s practically a god. 

“you would be the dead one if you didn’t have the cheat code to life.” rolling your shoulders, you step back with a menacing snarl and start again — fists flying in the direction of the six eyes as you’re  fuelled by the passion of taking him down. making him hurt. people like gojo piss you off, their existence serving as a reminder that your life is not promised and every step you take is a sacrifice to help them live on. though deep down, you know that you don’t hate him for it. it’s nothing that he could have helped. 

once again, satoru snags your fist before it can even leave a mark on him and draws you in by his infinity. for a moment, you’re scared that he might use it to repel you, harm you  — he catches the flicker of fear in your eyes before you steel your nerves and keep on fighting even as he grabs at your wrists, sweeps your feet out from underneath you and pins you to the hard ground below. 

leaning over your frame as you squirm beneath him, gojo tuts down at you in faux disappointment. “so sad, and here i was, thinking that you were strong enough to beat me.” he says, cruelly. “give up already, princess.” 

in response, you bare your fangs and dig your nails into his wrists — not letting up. “i’ll give up when you’ve killed me.” 

that makes satoru falter. 

it’s only training, really, it shouldn’t even be that serious. but his mind can’t shake the idea of one day sacrificing you for the good of others. for everyone satoru gojo has ever cared about, there has been a day where he has to choose between letting them meet their end and protecting the jujutsu world. that’s the way it’s always been and always will be. it’s not that he thinks you’re weak, that you can’t handle yourself — you’ve proven yourself capable of that time and time again. you’re strong, physically and resilient in your emotions, mentally but you’re only human.

and humans don’t last as long as gods do. 

seizing the opportunity at hand, you squeeze your thighs around satoru’s slender waist to switch your situation and rip your wrists free from his steady iron grip. so now, your positions are reversed, and he’s the one with his arms above his head — exposing all of his vulnerable vital organs. he could have easily kept himself in control and have you squirming below him for hours, but he lets you. he trusts you enough to let you prove yourself to him — just so he can have that moment, that lets you know that the great satoru gojo is not immune to the likes of you. 

he is weak for you. 

his infinity slips away unconsciously just as his back his the the floor with a dull thud — wisps of his snow white hair flying about the place with the motion. satoru lays still beneath you, unmoving like a tree rooted to its spot, and peers up at you through the thickness of his lashes. he watches how you try to control your surprise and how shocked you are at yourself for pinning him down — truth being told that if he didn’t have infinity to hide behind, if he was human, you probably would have been able to from the start. 

“think again,” you breathe, the dip in your voice doing nothing to help satoru’s crazed mind and how insane he is for you. “princess.”

you’re so pretty like this. your eyes are frenzied and and astonished, your chest heaves with every breath you take in desperation to fill your lungs with air and your skin shines with light perspiration from your training. and even then, to satoru, you’re the most precious form of life he’s ever seen. a rarity amongst unpolished gems. every emotion you have right now is laid bare against your features, coursing through your veins and it’s because of him. 

it’s nice like this, to feel weak in the knees and in the heart for someone. to be able to feel your pulse rather than see it as nothing but a flicker of a blue flame with blue eyes. 

he wants to touch you, subconsciously reaching out to brush a thumb over your cheek. “you’re so beautiful.” satoru whispers, his voice low and uneven — causing goosebumps to rise over the expanse of your skin and a soft gasp to lay wet on your lips. 

exasperated tears begin to well up in your eyes, sitting pretty in your lower lash line. you’re so angry at gojo and how you think he sees you but you don’t dare to push his hand away, instead turning your head to look elsewhere. you don’t want him to see you cry. 

“turn your infinity back on. i could kill you.” 

“you’re beautiful,” satoru repeats adamantly, not caring if he sounds like a broken record. “you’re strong. stronger than me.” you’re pissed at him too , for looking down at you. for all the things he’s said that hurt you without meaning to. your grip on his wrists loosen along with your hold on your emotions. “i wish i could be weak enough to love you.”

“i said turn it back on, gojo.” 

“look at me, please.” 

“gojo.” 

“please.” 

your shoulders sag with a shaky exhale, all of the fight you had leaving you as you sit on top of him — looking down at him. “what?” comes your quiet mumble, not daring to flinch away as his thumb traces over your bottom lip without the gentle hum of his infinity.

“i love you.” 

if you were at any other point in time, satoru’s words would have had you melting over him like butter in a pan. you would have been weak enough to say it back and let him overwhelm you with longing. because if this were any other point in time, you would have needed satoru gojo like you needed air to breathe. like you needed him to live. 

but things are different now, there’s a concrete wall built around your heart to fortify it and you’ve grown to become immune to him. like gojo says, you are strong and while you know that you always have been — hearing him admit that makes you realise you don’t want to prove your worth to him anymore. 

you would much rather have him kill you instead. 

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[adorethedistance]

I Don’t Just Like You - Trevor Zegras x Hughes!Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, tension/fighting, jealousy, Dixie lmao

Words: 2161

Summary: Tension builds with Trevor over his new partnership until the two of you confess your feelings.

A/n: Y'all I am so not doing well rn. I am processing a break up and questioning my social circle and im so lonely that I needed to write some angst to cope with it all. Hope yall like this one and maybe it'll get a smut part two depending on whether or not I can handle writing that rn lol. Enjoy!

Moose: call me ASAP

Me: sorry Luke. can’t rn

Moose: Awesome 😎

My hands quake with anxiety as I fiddle with the tarnished silver ring adorning my pointer finger. The moisture of my skin eases the movement of turning the ring around my finger. I hiss when the gemstone catches on the skin of my middle finger and immediately drop my hands. 

Currently, I’m staring down at the risky text I just sent Trevor. About an hour ago he had messaged me:

Trev: hey sorry can’t swing tn after all 

Trev: rain check?

My jaw tightens with contempt and I huff out a sigh as my bottom lip trembles. I feel pathetic for just how impacted I am by his every word. I angrily hit the digital keys of my phone’s keyboard as I type my reply.

Me: really? 

Me: again??

Trev: don’t be like that

I’m not the most confrontational person. On any given day some might say I’m the furthest thing from confrontational. To put it rather plainly, I just don’t like it. I hate the way I get anxiety butterflies in my stomach. I hate absorbing the emotions of the other person, especially when rejection is involved. I hate what projections I’m opening myself up to receiving from the other person. There are too many pitfalls and not enough landing pads. Which is why it’s so out of character for me to press him on this.

Me: like what Trev?

This is the third time in a row Trevor has cancelled plans on me. I don’t know if he’s aware of that. I don’t even know what he’s been up to lately. He’s refused to tell me what he’s been doing instead, which didn’t raise my suspicions by any means until mom sent me an article. She knows about how my crush on Trevor has had roots in our childhoods. 

Trev: you know what I’m talking about

After I stopped playing hockey with my brothers, I was still always around to notice Trevor’s presence in our home. When I moved to California for college, I wanted to chase my music dreams but I didn’t realize it would come at the expense of my support system. Being long distance with my family put me in a hard spot, but having a familiar face to rely on made the adjustment easier. As we spent more time together independent of my brothers, Trevor and I became close friends. The problem was my crush has been growing ever since we became friends, hence why mom sent me an article called, “Did Dixie D’Amelio admit to dating Trevor Zegras?”.

Me: at least say it with your chest

Sent. Delivered. I wait. Trevor’s response bubble appears for a second. It disappears, then reappears, then disappears again. I’m about ready to toss my phone across the room when his message delivers.

Trev: call me

I groan out in frustration and this time actually end up chucking my phone onto my bed. I run my hands through my hair, along the warm expanse of my scalp. A self-soothing gesture by all means. I pace to one side of my room before using the momentum of my steps to start back towards my phone. Just as I have it in my hand, Trevor’s contact picture covers the screen and illuminates in my grasp. I scoff out a sort of half groan and then answer.

“What, Trevor?”

“Hey, Y/n I’m great. Thanks for asking! How are you?” He responds sardonically to my cold greeting. I bite my tongue, torn between tearing into him and the stronger desire to laugh through my rage. He takes my exhale as a cue to continue. “What’s going on, Hughesy?”

In a single moment, my anger dissolves. The tenderness of that nickname, which was once reserved solely for my brothers, now belongs to me. In this moment, I find myself thinking about how grateful I am that Trevor was there for me as I transitioned into college. But the looming threat of a smile quickly vanishes as I remember how that care is nullified by Trevor’s abundantly active dating life.

“Y/nnnn?” Trevor hums into the phone.

“What?” I respond dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you cancelling on me for the third time in a row.”

“Is it really the third time in a row?” He asks under his breath, indicating he may not have intended to say it out loud at all. I roll my eyes, still actively fighting the urge to just lay into him.

“Yes, Trevor, it is!” I can practically hear him wince through the phone at the fact that I’m calling him Trevor instead of the default nickname permanently programmed into my phone. 

“Who’s that?” I hear softly over the phone. My heart flutters like a coal mine parakeet in a cage and I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry if it turns out Dixie is on the other side. Trevor whispers back,

“It’s Y/n.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Mason’s on the other end. 

“Not a good time,” Trevor tells him. Mason curses and then apologizes before retreating from Trevor’s general area. “Sorry, you were saying?” Trevor tells me at regular volume.

“You were cancelling on me again.”

“Oh. Right. I…” he switches the phone to the other ear, “I…don’t know what you want me to say.” Hello?! Could he be any more oblivious?!

“I want you to tell me what is going on!” I whine into the phone, “What is it you’re so busy with doing that you can’t see me for a week, huh? I get that you’re a professional athlete and you have a busy schedule. But I know your schedule and I know you still have a decent amount of free time. So what have you been doing?” Trevor breathes, in, then out and says,

“I’ve been seeing someone lately…” I feel my heart shatter into the tiniest fractals of what it once was and I cover my mouth to choke back the growing lump in my throat.

“I can’t do this right now,” I say with the utmost hurt lacing my voice, pulling the phone away from my ear to abruptly hang up on Trevor. I toss my phone on my bed once more, ignoring how the screen lights up with Trevor’s contact picture. It’s a new breed of psychological torture to sit here and ignore the calls, so I leave my phone in my bedroom as I go to splash cold water on my face. 

When I reenter my bedroom, I ignore the buzzing device to put on a comfortable pair of pajamas. He’s called once, twice, a fourth, and a fifth before finally giving up. Despite my phone being silent, I don’t trust it enough to take it with me and leave it to charge on my bed. I settle on the couch to open my new pint of Ben and Jerry’s, putting on my favorite show in the hopes of laughing through the pain. 

Somewhere between first and second episode, I had dozed off after returning the ice cream to the freezer. I’m not sure what it is about crying that knocks me on my ass like that, all I know is that it works. 

I’m abruptly pulled from my sleep when I hear the harsh banging on my front door. I jump up from the couch, the spike in adrenaline carrying me out of my sleepy haze. When I get to the front door, some of the tiredness catches up with me again and I groggily open the front door. Behind it stands Trevor, with sad puppy eyes and a sheepish expression. I can’t help the scowl that comes to rest on my face when I see him, but he doesn’t falter. Instead, he pushes past me to come into the apartment and sits on the couch expectantly. Since there’s no way to physically remove him from my space, I bargain, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from Trevor as I can manage. He doesn’t let the cold gesture phase him, and scooches obliviously into the center of the couch.

“What’s going on Hughsey?” I scoff at the nickname and Trevor cringes in frustration. “What is this?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Why are you icing me out all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, spiteful, with malice. 

“Clearly not since I’m here spending time with you.”

“Was that so hard for you to do? I mean, with your busy schedule and all?”

“What are you-” Trevor pauses for a split second. “Wait, are you… jealous? Y/n?”

I want to protest. I want to scream and rant and bite back, how he could be so conceited to think I’d be jealous of a relationship that I previously thought was rumored? But I can’t. 

Because he’s right.

I bite my tongue. There’s nothing else I can do. Not unless I want to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

“Oh my god, that’s totally it. You’re jealous.” Trevor says, complete with a laugh and a sigh. The shame of actually being jealous of a girl I’ve never met, the disappointment of finding out Trevor is dating someone, and the exhaustion from already having cried earlier comes collapsing down on me at once. Hot tears well on the lining of my lashes and I stare at the ground, afraid to draw attention to myself. Upon seeing me cry, Trevor’s smile immediately vanishes and he scoots closer once more.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He envelops me in a hug that I’m too overwhelmed to reciprocate. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” 

I merely shake my head, unaware of what I could even say in this moment.

“I was… I was just laughing ‘cause I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?”

“That you’d be jealous.” I wriggle out of the hug and look at Trevor sincerely.

“How would you have known?”

“You know, for as long as I can remember, your brothers have talked about you having a crush on me.” I cower in humiliation, my face glowing hotter than the surface of the sun.

“I wish they wouldn’t have.”

“No?” Trevor asks, genuinely.

“It’s embarrassing,” I confess, fully recoiling from the physical contact he had initiated before. 

“It’s cute.” Trevor earnestly admits as he takes my hand in his. I scoff instinctively but don’t pull my hand away again.

“I don’t need your pity, Trev.” I say so softly he nearly misses the sentiment. Once he processes my worlds, I feel him physically relax next to me at the sound of his familiar nickname.

“Well, what do you need? I’m here now.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I finally dare to meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so sweetly, earnestly. As if I hadn’t just chewed him out two minutes earlier. Then, I look away before I can say what I’m about to say next. “I don’t just like you.” Trevor’s face lifts ever so slightly. The extent of which, one might miss had they not known him a lifetime the way I have.

 “You know… the only reason I started seeing her was to get over you.”

“What?” I ask, sharply whipping my head to stare at Trevor, as if awaiting the reveal that this was just some elaborate prank from the start.

“Yeah. I started dating Dixie because I thought dating someone different would distract me. You know, it’s not a good look to have a crush on your best friend’s little sister.”

My heartrate picks up with his confession. This feels too good to be true. As if real life is waiting for us right outside the front door. The real life that doesn’t see me and Trevor together ever in our lifetimes. Terrified of the change that would occur from letting him walk away, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. Trevor wraps his hand around my wrist and kisses me back with twice as much fervor. 

We break apart, out of breath and full of smiles. Trevor looks at me for guidance and we fizzle into a nervous laughter. I reach up and brush my thumb tenderly across his cheekbone. He grabs my hand and turns his head, placing a sweet kiss on my palm. I then reach up and break the moment by ruffling my hand through his hair to mess it up.

“Hey!” He yells, grabbing waist to dig his hands into my sides. I screech with laughter as I try to escape. Trevor eventually yields and slips his hands from my sides to interlace with one another and pull me closer. I scoot in to sit against him, sitting half on top of him as our breathing falls in sync.

“I don’t just like you, too, Hughesy.” I smile.

“...You should probably call Dixie.”

“Oh shit.”

***

A/N: not my best work but not my worst either!

[yanderefarm]

I NEED. another part of that achilles x sadistic make reader thing PLEASEEEE

cw;; nsft language, misunderstandings, hurt/comfort, suffocation

ok i wanna write this idea i had so im putting it here bc im attaching the actual part 2 to another ask.

this was supposed to be filthy femboy achilles sending you sexy videos. it got away from me bad.

your lovely partner is a hard worker even with his proclivity for perversion he very rarely ignores work to get off. usually you two maintain a healthy balance, work and play and on weekends you get him for the more extreme play, but he's out of town. his father needed him to go take care of somethings in another city a plane ride away leaving you without your lovely boyfriend's company for the time being.

the first few days coming home without him being there was strange. it was strange to not have him on his knees at your feet, or curled up in your arms, or tied to your metal slab. you hadn't even realized how much your life had become entangled with his until he was gone. you still texted him every day but you were really starting to get lonely. i mean... his texts leave something to be desired.

'good morning.'

'good night'

'i had an avocado and banana smoothie for breakfast.'

'im working'

'please don't call me at this time.'

it's bad enough that in person he looks like a lifeless robot sometimes, why does he text like one too? you could get more emotion from an alexa. you've been trying to be understanding because you know he's just that kind of person but it didn't help your loneliness. you were trying to call him at night before he went to bed just to hear his voice.

'please don't call me at this time.'

that message was really starting to piss you off. you couldn't be nice anymore.

'answer your fucking phone or im going to bleed you.'

it took a few minutes, about 10 to be exact, for your phone to ring. you immediately picked it up about to scold him for his lack of communication when you heard his harsh breathing on the other side. you could recognize it as how he usually sounded after something intense.

"chilles? are you ok?" your brow furrowed in worry.

"m okay" his words slurred slightly which usually meant he was fucked out.

"... you wanna try again? maybe this time tell me what bitch you're fucking?" your eye twitched in anger.

"m not-"

"im not stupid. you've been barely talking to me this whole week, you won't answer my calls, and now you sound like you just got your ass pounded. so you wanna try again? one more chance before i start sharpening my knife."

you heard him struggle to take a breath before finally letting out a pathetic little whimper. "m sorry, sir."

you let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through your hair, gripping a handful of it as your anger became overwhelming. here you were being lonely and worried and missing him! and this stupid whore was out in another city running around with some bitch.

".... so. is this another attempt to get your throat slit or do you just.. not... care?" fuck you hated how your voice started to crack at the end.

"i.. i would gladly accept your punishment. i tried to resist for as long as I could."

"you fuckin-! yeah! you poor thing must have been so fucking hard for you to resist that!" you were messing up your hair as you rubbed at your head like you were trying to scrub him from your mind.

"im sorry sir. i know im a disappointment."

"disappointment?! that doesn't even begin to describe it!"

"im... im sorry... i didn't realize you would be so angry." you heard him make a hesitant sound before he spoke again. "we'll be here another week and I'll try to behave until we return."

you dropped your hand from your hair instead rubbing the bridge of your nose. tears were starting to gather in your eyes.

"don't bother coming back here. next time i see you you'd be lucky if i don't actually kill you."

you heard a strangled noise on the other side of the phone.

"no... please please, i know im bad. im the trash beneath your shoes. im disgusting and vile. but please please please" you could hear his voice cracking as he started to quietly cry.

you hated how it pulled at your heart.

"you should have thought about that before you 'couldn't resist'." you heard your own voice sounding rough and raw.

"i... i didn't think a toy would make you this angry i-"

"a what."

"a -a toy? the-the toy i bought..."

".... im gonna fucking murder you. you bought a sex toy??"

"yes-! im sorry. im sorry i knew i shouldn't have. i should have just waited. im sorry."

"you..." you couldn't help but laugh as tears fell down your cheeks. "fuck you're stupid."

"im sorry i know. im sorry."

"shut up. jesus... i thought you were cheating on me moron."

"i would never?? i-??" he sounded so genuinely confused.

"you've been avoiding me all week, chilles. you won't take my calls, you text me like a robot, and when I finally hear your voice you're all... horny."

"ive been very busy... every night ive had to go to different nightclubs for meetings... you always manage to call when im trying to be intimidating and I know i wouldn't be able to compose myself if I heard your voice."

"and tonight? you did it again."

"i... i should have answered but i knew i was misbehaving. .....and it would have been hard to speak."

"what were you doing? don't spare the details. i don't want room for more misunderstanding."

you heard him swallow hard.

"i bought the largest... silicone penis... they had at the store. i used some spare rope to tie a noose to the closet and then i put a chair with the toy in it underneath the noose. you called right when i started..."

"you're such a freak. jesus..." you wiped the last of the tears from your face. you let out a sigh of relief and relaxed into the couch. "you shoulda just answered i would have talked you through it."

"i was embarrassed and ashamed of myself... i knew you would be angry"

"yeah i think being convinced you were cheating on me is much better."

"i would never cheat on you. you're the only thing that holds meaning to me. you are my god, i only continue to exist by your will."

"there you go saying weird shit again."

"i mean it... my whole being is only for you. you're not my soulmate you're the owner of my soul. i wish you would carve me open and live inside my skin only then would i be close enough to you." you heard him whine softly.

"freak. ...i miss you. so much. i guess it's getting to my head not being able to hear you say your weird shit and worship me every day."

"i miss you so deeply... i feel empty and purposeless without you. even sexual gratification was empty..."

"did you finish?"

"yes... im.. im still sitting on it. i just removed the noose so i could talk to you."

"perv. c'mon baby boy drag yourself off that thing. it's bath time."

you heard him shift slightly most likely shivering.

"will you... guide me through bath time?"

"yeah. it'll help me relax too."

"thank you, sir. i love you."

you let out another sigh. you could feel your heart swell at his words spoken so softly with only the slightest of warmth. it was like you were freezing because his slight warmth seeped into your heart and spread through every inch of your body.

"i love you too."

BONUS;;

achilles: i don't really sound like a robot do i?

sadist darling: sorry babe. you're super roboty.

achilles: ive been trying to be sweet and text you everyday....

sadist darling: .... just add 1 emoji babe. it'll do you wonders.

achilles: like this..? ⛓️ good morning ⛓️

sadist darling: .because you're chained to me? is that right?

achilles: yes. 🧎

sadist darling: i take it back no more emojis.

[heartsforvin]

reader get a heated blanket as a gift, but vinnie doesn’t like it bc she doesn’t cuddle w him when she uses is bc it keeps her warm

WARM SNUGGLES

love this idea !! thank you for the request !!! <33

pairing; vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings; vinnie being jealous over a blanket 😭 bit of angst ??, mild argument, use of pet names, cussing

summary; one of your friends gifts you a heated blanket, but vinnie soon turns jealous, thinking it’s taking away time from him

recently you were gifted a heated blanket, and ever since, you use it every chance you get. chances like, using it while you and vinnie lay in bed together.

you’ve noticed his attitude change as well. you thought nothing of it, thinking he was stressed about something work related.

you tried reassuring him, say comforting words and giving him affection, but he just shrugged it off.

“vin, what’s wrong?” you ask as you walk into the kitchen of your shared apartment. “you’ve been a mood for a week now.”

silence fills the room for a moment. you both watch as hera jumps up on the counter, vinnie scratches behind her ear.

“nothing, im fine.” he replies shortly, grabbing the cat and walking into your guys’ room.

sighing, you let it go for now, not wanting to push his buttons.

you slowly walk into the room and smile at vinnie as you grab your blanket. you almost miss the eye roll he gives you.

“what’s that for?” you ask, tone stern as you try so hard to keep your emotions at bay.

vinnie looks at you, hera sat in his lap as he runs his hand along her back.

“ever since you got that fuckin’ thing you never snuggle with me anymore.” he admits, you chuckle a bit.

“i’m serious, it’s like that’s all you want to do — be wrapped up in that instead of in my arms.” vinnie says.

you frown, not realizing that was his issue this whole time. you find it a bit silly he’s jealous over a blanket, but can somewhat understand where he’s coming from.

sitting on the bed, you set the blanket on the ground and put your hand on vinnie’s thigh, rubbing your thumb against his skin gently.

“i’m sorry, my love,” you apologize, vinnie gives you a weak smile. “is that why you’ve been so grumpy?”

it was probably an obvious question but you asked anyways. vinnie didn’t reply right away, instead he grabbed your hand that laid on his leg and pulled you against him.

hera quickly scrambled off her dad’s lap so you can take her place. you laid your head on his chest, legs tangled together as vinnie ran his fingers through your hair.

“it’s stupid, i know,” the blonde sighed. “i’m sorry for snapping at you, you don’t deserve that, baby.”

missing your head, he continues to run his fingers through your hair. you reach down and grab the blanket from off the floor.

vinnie smirks and lets out a small laugh as you wrap the blanket around you both, turning it on to hear the two of you up.

he rubs your back, realizing that the blanket is actually pretty nice. hera jumps back up on the bed and joins the two of you.

“are you done being jealous over a blanket?” you ask as you see vinnie put his hands under the blanket to warm them.

he nods, a content smile on his face. “i’m really sorry for how i acted. it’s a blanket, i shouldn’t have reacted like that. it’s actually pretty comfy.” he apologized to you.

looking up at him, you softly kissed him and smiled against his lips. “i knew you’d like it, seems like hera does too.”

the two of you look over at the cat, her eyes closed as she purrs softly.

vinnie wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly. “i love you, sweetheart.”

you smile, nuzzling your face into vinnie’s chest. “i love you too, handsome.”

working on getting all my requests done !! also have another lil fic i’ve been working on for awhile that i’m excited to post !!

tags: @cosmicanakin , @lyndys , @slvthrs , @forevergirlposts , @st4rswrld , @laylasbunbunny , @hallecarey1 , @louloulemons-blog ‘ @leqonsluv3r , @supabhad , @kayleiggh , @visualbutterflysworld , @violet0182 , @lovingsturniolo

[rrxnjun]

portrait of a blank slate. huang renjun

pairing: huang renjun x fem! reader genre: college au. fluff, smut, and the tiniest bit of angst. warnings: swearing, alcohol, angry man renjun, very bad dialogue, this is the most un-renjun fic i've ever written, dry humping, a heavy makeout session, unfinished blowjob word count: 5.8k playlist: no specific one this time but i listened to a lot of keshi while writing this, so have this playlist of mine to fit the vibes a/n: inspired by that one tweet describing how someone's art professor met his wife the same exact way, lost the screenshot and also the og post im so sorry!

turns out all it takes to save a life is a bad, bad college party, a few shots and a weird, magical coincidence back in a girl's dorm room.

It’s hard to believe that Huang Renjun is currently finishing up the art portfolio he needs for his summer internship program after procrastinating and angrily stomping at every single bad stroke of his paintbrush for the last few months.

Because he’s not.

He’s looking at the canvas with stern eyes, the smudges on the white linen so messy he could cry just by looking at them, and the more he tries to save the disgrace currently scribbled in front of him, the worse it gets and makes the levels of frustration in him turn into rage and fury, because let’s be honest– what is Renjun’s primary emotion if not anger. 

And he tries hard to fix it again, he really does– he sighs heavily while doing so as he takes a smaller brush and tries to paint on a few hairstrokes to the portrait of Frida Kahlo he wants to execute– and in honest reality, it doesn’t even look half as bad as it does in the poor boy’s eyes when he takes a step back after holding in his breath and carefully piercing together the artwork. Maybe if there was someone else in the room– everyone but his annoying roommate Donghyuck, because that fucker always manages to make things even worse– they could talk him out of it, offer some words of consolidation, even, hype him up and tell him that with outsider’s eyes, the canvas looks beautiful and very well put together. But the truth is that there’s no one present right now, not a single soul in what feels like the whole campus right now, that could ease Huang Renjun’s frustration from what seems to be art block, when he throws the paintbrush to the wall (he’ll worry about the stain of acrylic paint later, when he gains consciousness) and puts a fist through the middle of the painting.

If he was a character in a comic book, his hand would go through the canvas and create a quite satisfying hole. He’s a real person, though– a weak one as well, to be quite honest– and his fist is stopped by the stretched-out fabric, making his hand bounce back, but now stained with all shades of brown and tan, which somehow only makes him even more mad and turns him into a furious animal roaming around free and causing uttermost chaos in his all true sense.

Nothing can stop Huang Renjun when he opens the drawer he keeps all his artwork in, taking out all the graphite sketches and colored pencil drawings, and then the next one containing the watercolor paintings and various other acrylic paintings done on expensive sheets of paper, stacking all of those onto one pile in the middle of the table. Not one thing is safe– except from the digital artworks he keeps in his iPad and his big A4 sketchbook he forgot about in the heat of the moment, since he keeps it on his nightstand– when he takes the big, heavy stack of art and runs, chimes towards the entrance of his and Donghyuck’s miniature dorm room, luck only standing by his side once in this whole evening when his said roommate opens the door and clears the way for him, looking at the poor boy with mouth agape in a slight shock.

“What the fuck are you doing right n–”

Donghyuck doesn’t get an answer. When he asks stupid questions, Renjun doesn’t tend to pay him much mind, settling on not engaging with the discourse if it doesn’t make much sense, so Hyuck should be used to the ignorance– he thinks this was a very valid question to ask at this moment, though. If he was curious enough, he’d even follow his roommate down the hall and watch him in his endeavors only to find out what’s the intention behind his angry stomping and the fierce look on his face. The truth is, though, he doesn’t care all that much.

That doesn’t stop Huang Renjun, though, as he chimes down the hall of the boy’s dormitory, kicks the glass door open (thankfully not the actual glass part, because that would for sure be expensive) and practically runs the rest of the way towards the bins at the end of the street, dumping the papers into the bin (forgive him for not recycling in his current state of mind) before he angrily kicks the poor object twice for good measure and turns on his heel, slowly, but still as angrily making his way back to his dorm room by stomping all the way up until the entrance.

The dorm guard doesn’t even ask for his dorm ID like he usually does– Renjun must have been quite memorable as he ran out of the building with 5kg of artwork of various sizes in his arms– but the truth is, the man isn’t as old and he saw the boy going out just a few minutes ago, so he doesn’t think it’s necessary. Renjun would appreciate the memo, although, when he remembers that the man always asks for the dorm ID, especially on the nights out when he comes back slightly intoxicated and too disoriented to look for the little slip of paper in his pockets, and on the nights when he forgets his dorm ID as well– the man was set on letting him sleep on the front porch of the dormitory once and it took Renjun 15 calls to get ahold of a sleeping Donghyuck and another 15 of him walking down the hall in slippers and pajama bottoms with his roommate’s dorm ID in hand before he could warm his bones from the cold slowly seeping into his bones on the January night– and that whole thing makes Renjun somehow even more angry at the whole situation.

And so when he comes into his room again, Donghyuck now sitting on his bed still in his outside clothes (something Renjun hates and would murder for), and his eyes land on the damaged canvas still waiting for him in the corner of the room, he wastes no time in opening his window and throwing it down from the second floor, not really caring where it ends up or if he’s gonna get a fine for violating one of the dormitory rules– to never throw stuff out of the windows..

“Dude, what is–”

“Don’t ask.” Renjun huffs as he closes the door and peels his clothes off, taking a towel that’s still hanging from the top bunk of their bed and aims towards the bathroom door. A true tantrum can only end in a cold shower, and that’s what Renjun’s gonna do as he washes his dreams down the drain and ends up silently crying himself to sleep tonight in agony.

It’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party since the days of ‘megaparties’ of Johnny Suh, the senior that’s slowly halting his party performance due to stilling in life. Renjun was dragged to Lee Jeno’s party by his roommate Donghyuck after he mourned in his bed for approximately two days before it got too much for the poor gemini, promising and honestly thinking that alcohol is truly the best solution for the poor boy’s misery. Again, it’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party of the year when he listens to the loud EDM music piercing through his eardrums and he swears he catches a glimpse of a couple dry humping on the couch.

Because he’s not.

He’s at a college party, sure. He’s also getting some alcohol into his system– because why not, am I right? He’s not the one paying, and that’s always enough of a reason to drink. Is it the best college party he’s ever experienced, though? Absolutely not.

It’s quite literally the worst party he’s ever been to. The music is too loud and the whole house smells of cheap vodka, people are pushing each other around and with the amount of alcohol in his system, the whole room feels like he’s on a boat, his stomach weak and his eyes hazy. Renjun must admit Hyuck’s therapy skills are kind of paying off– because at least now he’s not thinking about the wasted opportunity of a summer scholarship and is instead looking into the eyes of his cute classmate from History class across the room– but at the same time, he’s not thinking much of anything in this moment, and the glint of your eyes is the only thing he can focus on when you get closer.

That might be a good or a bad thing– depends on how the encounter goes. There’s a fine line between the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to get rid of his usual shyness and speak to other, much more attractive human species, and the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to black out and puke on the floor, efficiently making it impossible for him to chat up the cute classmate he’s been eyeing the whole semester and ruining his chances of ever being seen in a good light in front of the said person ever again. He prays intensely that he hasn’t crossed the line yet when you open your mouth and speak to him in the crowded kitchen.

“Renjun!”

“Y/N!” he tries to mimic your tone, a flashy grin settling onto his face when you approach him first. You two aren’t strangers, after all– you’ve sat together in class during various exams and also accidentally bumped into each other in the cafeteria, but what were your courageous attempts in making conversation with him and efficiently trying to make him more interested in you didn’t lead to your desired goal of getting invited out by him, instead leading him to think you’re just that friendly to everyone and not just him, making the chances of him taking the next step that much slimmer. Not tonight, though– he really must have had too much to drink.

“How are you?” you ask, clearing your throat as you bump into someone and decide to shift closer to Renjun, making the boy’s breathing hitch in his throat.

“Wonderful,” he gasps, and for some reason, the response laced in irony makes an excited laugh escape your throat, and the more he listens to your bubbly giggle, the more he wishes he did music instead of fine arts, because maybe if he was competent enough, he could mimic the sound in one of his songs and replay it over and over even when you’re not around. 

“That sounds very genuine,” you note, which makes the boy laugh in return, making him wonder if maybe he could have the same effect on you– if you’re smiling wider now because of the sound of his laughter, or if you’re just amused at something completely else. 

It’s pathetic, really– the gloomy boy that was trailing to this party behind his roommate Donghyuck is nowhere to be seen now, instead replaced by the cheap imitation of a ray of sunshine that you brought out of him only with the magic of a few words and the few drops of alcohol on his tongue.

“Oh, trust me, it was genuine,” he teases, and you only nod to his attempt at masking his obviously saddened composure from before.

“Having a rough week?” you ask, and you sound truly interested– something Renjun hasn’t found in the tone of his roommate when he insisted on dragging him here– and maybe that’s the reason why he just shrugs and decides to come clean and be honest with you. You seem like that kind of person that wouldn’t make fun of his troubles, the kind of person that would genuinely want to help– although he’s not seeking counseling tonight, he figures he can talk a bit about his shitty mood if it means that it gets the conversation flowing.

“A rough life, actually,” he snickers before he sees you eye him with a concerned look, “just joking,” he adds before he retracks back and fixes his initial answer. “Some things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, so I’m kind of moping around for a bit.”

You seem to feel empathetic towards the boy, nodding and pouting at his confession. “Well, I hope things get fixed for you, Jun,” you mumble, tone of voice encouraging– and maybe he could dwell at the caring nature of you a little longer, only if it wasn’t for your use of a nickname for him that just oh so sweetly rolls of your tongue and Renjun wishes he could legally change his name to the nickname so he could listen to the way it sounds forever– scratch that, to the way it sounds from your mouth forever, which means he won’t change it, just so it’s reserved for you and only you to say.

“What about you, though?” he finds himself asking in the midst of his inner screeching.

“Me? I’m great, totally fine, having the time of my life,” you emphasize, the over-the-top expression on your face making the boy burst into laughter as you wave your arms around as if to show him your surroundings. “I am a party person for sure, you know, so this is perfect,” you joke, and Renjun seems to get the memo. If he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’s ever seen you at a party before– not that he goes to many himself, which might honestly be the reason, actually– you could just be at different parties in different times that hadn’t overlaid, but by the way you’re currently tensely sipping at the alcohol in your hand, he figures you’re not too familiar with the scene of college partying.

“Who forced you to go? Was it your roommate?” Renjun remembers the girl from another one of his classes– you two were always walking around together and often got to class at the same time. Figuring out that you two lived together wasn’t as difficult, and she surely seems to be the more extroverted one.

“No, actually,” you say, eyes glimmering when he seems to remember the girl you share a room with, “to my surprise, honestly. It was another one of my friends– Na Jaemin, not sure if you know him– but the moment we got here, he disappeared and left me alone to deal with my thoughts,” you click your tongue and Renjun finds himself totally mesmerized with you– amazed with everything about you; the way you talk, the way you lean on the counter and watch him with stars in your eyes (which might just be the reflections of the kitchen lights, but don’t tell him that), the way you slightly lean into him when he cracks a joke and earns a laugh out of you…

“They always do that,” Renjun scowls, “they drag the introvert in and then force them to survive on their own…” he shakes his head in disappointment, clearly distraught over the situation. 

“Exactly! But if you ask them to come with you to a picnic, or to the library, they decline the offer. So much for being good friends,” you roll your eyes. Renjun finds himself smiling, and although he must admit that as every other college student, he himself would decline an invitation to a library if anyone asked, he’s like 99% certain that if it was you uttering out the question, he wouldn’t miss a heartbeat before joyfully jogging there with you. 

“Ask me next time,” he blurts out, a poor attempt at flirting, “I wouldn’t say no.”

And it seems like tonight is the night where you suddenly get the last kick of courage needed when you talk to Renjun– maybe fueled by his coy smile when he said the previous comment, maybe just acting out on pure hormones– tonight's the night where he breathlessly takes your offer, still not thinking much of it, but igniting a curious spark in his own heart nonetheless, when you scratch the back of your neck in the last residue of anxiety, scrunching your nose at him and mumbling under your nose, barely heard above the loud music resonating through the living room. “Do you wanna sneak into my dorm room, then?” 

Renjun almost chokes at your question– visitors in the dormitory are only allowed until midnight and as far as he’s aware, the clock is well after 2 AM right now, and he’s a male visitor, which is even more off the bounds in the eyes of the fierce woman guarding the entrance of the girl’s dormitory building. The more he stares at you, the more you seem to translate his silence into disagreement, which you panically try to undo with even more rambling. “I- I mean, since we both kind of hate this party and I think that if I drink more, I’m going to puke all over myself, so… My room is on the ground floor, so you can just climb in, if you wanted to. My roommate went home for the weekend, so there’s no one there, and we could– I mean, we don’t have to, honestly, but it’s kinda cold out and I thought we could both use a place more silent, ‘cause I really wanna head back now, but I don’t want to stop talking to you, y’know, and I don’t know if–”

“Okay, I’m down,” Renjun nods, efficiently shutting up your rambling, and when there’s a very apparent relief flashing over your face, he finds himself smiling in endearance at your antics, going as far as ruffling a hand through your hair in whatever kick the alcohol mixed with adrenaline gave him before you have him dragging his feet out of the house, both of your feet shuffling towards the campus.

The walk isn’t long, but he finds himself enjoying it. The condensation coming out of your mouths at the chilly weather serves more to the atmosphere when the both of you giggle out at absurd jokes and gossip, your voice breaking into soft hums when you sing a song under your breath in moments of silence that somehow feel both kind of awkward, but also kind of pleasant. He drags you by your hand to the other side of the sidewalk when a car passes by and you jump in surprise, eyes wide and glossy, mouth a little agape in an open-mouthed grin when his fingers stay intertwined with yours and you adjust your purse on your other shoulder, clearing your throat before you try to nonchalantly continue on with the conversation.

“I’ll go inside now,” you announce when you get to the girl’s dormitory building, breaking apart from the eager boy and coming closer to him when you confide the secret, “I’ll turn the light on in my room when I get there, so make sure to look out for the window. I’ll help you in, don’t worry,” you smile at him, and before he has a chance to reply, you disappear behind the glass door with a pep in your step. 

Renjun finds himself sighing– now is the moment when he should realistically get relief, the moment when he’s supposed to relax for at least a second and prepare himself for whatever might happen in your dorm room– but when he slowly walks over to the left wing of the building and squints at the dark squares of windows, he wonders how in the hell he’s gonna climb in. Escaping out will be an easy task– the windows aren’t that high up– but coming in will be the problem. He guesses it’s the same with the whole situation– he bets the easiest part of the whole evening will be jumping out and running to his own room– how to survive the night in your presence and not go completely insane, he doesn’t know and wishes he had a manual to before he agreed to do this in the first place.

When the light goes on in one of the rooms and you wave at him from the inside, he finds himself involuntarily jogging towards the window, gears in his brain turning faster than the speed of light when he reaches the wall and you grin at him, opening the window and offering him your hand. 

“If you grip the edge of the window and give me your hand, you can get in easily,” you say, watching as the boy cautiously looks around himself and scratches the back of his neck, mentally calculating his next movements.

“Have you done this before?”

“No,” you bashfully shake your head, “but my roommate did it twice, so I don’t think it’s that hard,” you note and nod at him, waiting for him to finally take action. 

Renjun finds himself doing what he’s been told– and even though he huffs and almost falls over to his back (which would kill him, he thinks, since his physique is very close to a turtle’s), victory fills his veins when one of his legs finally ends up in your window, his body stumbling forward and almost toppling you over when the warmth of your room welcomes him as he lands on top of your desk. 

“Welcome,” you laugh at him when he shakes his head in disbelief and takes off his coat, dropping it on top of the wooden table and watching you close the window behind him, so the cold doesn’t get in. 

“That’s one way of inviting guests over, I guess,” he teases you, watching as you roll your eyes at him and go over to one of the beds. Renjun notices the room is different to the one he shares with Donghyuck– you and your roommate have two beds instead of a bunk one, the table is right under the window and you get a little more space over-all. You turn on the little lamp kept on your bedside table, and the boy watches you with interest as you cautiously walk around your own room as if it’s your first time seeing it, reminding him a little of a deer in the headlights, clueless and suddenly out of ideas.

Renjun finds himself laughing at your behavior– he finds himself endeared by it, the way you play with your fingers in nerves and try to think of anything to do in the intimacy that suddenly envelopes you when you invite someone over to your dorm room in the middle of the night– and when you aimlessly end up standing in front of him, your big eyes even bigger and glossier than before, he snickers at the state of you and shakes his head.

“Okay, so I know I was the one who invited you over, but now I’m kind of helpless in what we should actually do and all…” you giggle, a little embarrassed when you bear your eyes into his, your body subconsciously slotted in between his legs, his position leaning on the edge of the table allowing you and inviting you to do so. 

“You’re cute,” he laughs at you, and before you have a chance to question him about the compliment, he has you silenced abruptly by his next actions.

“What do you–”

His hand is gripping your jaw and he leans into you, the newly found courage and affection towards you having him drunk on more than the alcohol, but also your whole presence– the way your hair smells when he’s this close to you, the way you pull the sleeves of your sweater further down when you don’t know what to do with your hands, the shyness in your gaze now that you have him in your cage– and his lips act on themselves when they press themselves against yours, soft but firm, tasting the strawberry juice mixed with vodka off your mouth, a surprised gasp against his lips more than enough to invite him even further in.

He feels your fingers tugging at his shirt and your skin growing hot under his touch, leaning back from you a little and finding you looking at him with a thousand different galaxies in your eyes, enough of a confirmation to him, but he’s a man– he still needs it vocally, when he grins lazily at you. “Was this one of the things you thought about when you invited me over?”

“Maybe…” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, a clearly battled grin trying to settle its way onto your lips.

“You should’ve just said so, then,” he smiles when he leans into you again, a little more confidently this time and kisses you again, again and again.

You stay under the window for a while, lips pressed hard against each other as you try to learn the curves of each other’s mouths by memory, lazy hands threaded into his hair and an arm around your waist now, steadying you in place. Foreheads pressed against each other when you break away for air, giggles resonating through the room when his lips make their way towards your neck and the softness of his hair tickles your skin, fingers threaded when you tug him towards your bed and you watch him kick his shoes off before you follow him onto the soft mattress.

His head falls into your pillow and you straddle his lap, your hair falling into your face when you look down at him from your position, the newly found dominance in your position charging you with unexplainable energy, and Renjun can’t help but smile at you sweetly when your eyes meet and you eagerly lean down towards him, fingers once again intertwined with his, hands laying next to his head. Your breath fans his swollen lips that you once again find yourself attacking, the contact overwhelming you and making it hard to breathe. Who knows how long the both of you have wanted to do this but never had the courage to– it’s a miracle that it’s even happening tonight.

And with the built-up desire, you act instinctively– hands breaking away from his when you grip his cheeks and give him one last peck, lips now traveling down his jaw and neck instead, having the boy shivering under the contact, your actions slowly but surely driving him crazy when you find his sweet spot and you get a satisfied gasp from him, a reward for your tonight’s efforts.

His hand grips your hip, and something about the burn of his fingers even through the fabric of your jeans makes you move on instinct, earning yourself a sharper hiss this time that doesn’t make you stop, however– quite the opposite, actually– as you break into a wide grin at the very evident effect you have on him, your movements slow and painful, but still having him harden under you.

Goosebumps appear all over your skin when his cold fingers capture the skin of your stomach when he aimlessly tries to find a place in your body to ground yourself, but the more he answers to your movements, the more encouraged you get. He tugs you back down so you’re facing him, which does nothing to halt your painful pace as he drags out yet another kiss from you. 

“If we don’t stop now, it’s gonna be really hard for me to do so later,” Renjun huffs into your ear, which only gets you more excited.

“Who said I want to stop?” you ask him, fingers trailing up his side over his shirt, yet still making him fire up and flush in his cheeks. “Do you want to stop?”

“Do I look like I wanna stop?” he snickers, shaking his head in utter disbelief, hand traveling dangerously close to the cup of your breast.

“Let’s continue, then,” you muse, peeling yourself off him only the slightest amount, hands dragging themselves down his body until you reach the waistband of his pants, gently dragging the fabric down until he’s left in front of you only with a tent in his underwear, big eyes curiously and breathlessly watching you in your actions. He could be a gentleman and tell you you don’t have to, tell you to stop and come back up and that he will pleasure you first, but the more he watches you as you palm him over the thin fabric of his boxer briefs with the dangerous doe eyes of yours, the less he wants to do just that. In all reality– who is he to deny a blowjob from you? Or anyone, for that matter?

His whole body shudders under your touch, actions careful, but so painfully satisfying. Renjun watches your face with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, the reality of it all sobering him up and making him aware of each shift of your body, each centimeter your fingertip travels against his skin, each motion that slowly makes a bundle of nerves appear in his stomach. It only gets too much for him when you lean on your elbows, nails gently pricking the skin of his thighs as your mouth hesitantly greets his dick, and he feels like a virgin again when his eyes peel off you just in case he finishes just by watching you blowing him off like a highschooler at his first blowjob, forcing himself to watch the ceiling instead.

Eyes traveling all over your room– the closed window opposite of him, the bed on the other side of the room, the walls above your bed– he gets lost in the galaxy drawn on a piece of paper that’s plastered right above your pillowcase, and another graphite sketch of eyes bearing right into your soul, as if they were watching him in the act, and another one, of a deer that looks through the shade of the trees, before it hits him.

“Oh my god what the fuck–” he gasps, and his tone must have sounded too different to the satisfied moans that have been spilling out of his mouth up until now, because you abruptly stop your movements and your gazes lock, your eyes completely mortified.

“Am I doing something wrong?”

“Oh– Oh god no, fuck, you’re doing amazing, trust me,” apologies spill off his tongue at your distressed state, “it’s just– where… where did you get these?” he asks, pointing towards all the drawings taped all over your walls that he failed to notice in the heat of the moment before.

“Oh,” you cluelessly hum, eyebrows furrowed, “I found them spilling out of a trashcan close to the boy’s dorms when I was walking to class one morning, and they were so pretty I had to take them.”

“I– you like these?” Renjun asks, full of strange surprise and genuine curiosity. You’re now sitting back on your heels and looking at the boy with big eyes, still slightly clueless and very much in a weird state of distress– because why would a man ask you about the random artwork on your wall in the middle of a mindblowing blowjob?– before you nod with a slight pout, agreeing.

“Well, I wouldn’t have decorated my room with them if I didn’t like them, y’know… Why are you… why are you asking?”

“Oh,” Renjun repeats again, a dumbfounded look taking over his soft features before he sits up on the bed and scoots closer to you, a weird sense of euphoria spilling out every vein of his body when the held-back dopamine is released into his system. A wide grin appears on his lips before he stares into your eyes with a milky way mirroring behind his eyeballs, glittering orbs haphazardly gliding over your face before he reaches your lips again, pecking them one, two, three times before you break away and look at him with furrowed eyebrows, a slight crease right in between them.

“What are you–”

“I think I’m gonna literally cum just at hearing those words, Y/N,” he blurbs out before he kisses the tip of your nose again, completely endeared and close to a happy boy under the Christmas tree, and while you may enjoy that look on him, you’re still slightly confused. Huang Renjun sighs almost a little too dreamingly and smooths the wrinkle between your eyebrows with a careful swipe of his thumb, still not giving you any explanation.

“Renjun, I’m afraid I’m not quite following why this is so important to you right now,” you mumble, having your partner laugh airly– just as if all his worries escaped through the window and you fixed his life with a few drawings plastered on your wall.

“Those, dear Y/N,” he points towards the papers stuck to your walls, eyeing the specific one he worked for 3 hours on and kind of mourned the morning after he realized he threw it away, months of practice and art that maybe wasn’t even that bad in the first place ending up in the trash because of a fit of rage, “are all mine. Mine as in, I drew them… And then threw them out in the middle of a slight mental breakdown.”

You look at him for a few heartbeats, eye contact never breaking before you avert your gaze towards the artwork on the walls– it takes you a few seconds before it hits you– and you gasp, hurriedly looking back at the artist in front of you, stars glimmering in your eyes now as well, matching his excitement. “Oh my god, are you for real?”

“Yeah.”

“You drew all of these?”

“Yeah,” he nods again, breathless.

“This is an insane coincidence,” you snicker, and Renjun didn’t know he had it in him– maybe it’s still the effect of alcohol that slips off his tongue when he speaks– but he cages you in his arms as he kisses you again, a whole new world appearing in front of him when the cheesiness meets the comfort of your walls.

“You’d call this a coincidence?” he hums. “Maybe it was fate.”

Earning himself a sharp laugh, almost mocking him as you swat his shoulder, you fall back with him towards the mattress, and while the heated moment might be gone, you don’t mind at all. Renjun looks at you with a certain softness in his eyes, a pride swelling in his chest, and for a moment, it’s true and you truly did open up a new reality for him and changed his life forever, fixed all of his problems, if you will, because the appreciation it takes for a girl to tape up at least 20 of his messy artworks onto her wall after finding the stash in the trashcan on her way to class might just be the encouragement he needed to keep going with the craft. 

It’s hard to believe that this shitty party actually brought him somewhere– not only to your bed, but also to your life, to a beginning of something new and a restart in something he thought he’d forever be giving up on.

“So… Do you need those back? Because I kinda like them here,” you giggle, and the crinkle of his eyes is enough of an answer to you.

“You can keep them. I’ll just draw new ones you can look at,” he muses, stealing another kiss from you and squeezing your hip, having you squeal against his mouth.

“Now, to get back to what we were doing before–”

[wilhelmina1233]

I am back.

I wanna explain why I just suddenly crashed a yesterday...

It has been on my mind, In September, when my friend started uploading their OC here, I saw that many people commented on their post, Many people seemed like they actually cared. I didn't mind it much, I was happy they were getting SUPPORT. Then after a while, the more they posted, the more comments on their posts got. People interacted with them, talked with them, complimented them. After a while I started comparing my introduction card and theirs, 10 uncommented reblogs, 60 likes, 0 comments. No comments. No comments. No one supported me or complimented, just liked. I tried to ignore it and told myself I will get comments if I post more. So I continued. And then my other friend came to join the community, somehow, they still got comments and support. And another new creator came, and people commented on their posts too, talking about the character's lore. Watching all of these happen to others while my comments always stay on 0 made me feel so... disappointed, like, am I not doing much? It made me think that my comments are turned off and I checked it DAILY. I only ever got comments during hard situations, or when I gifted people, never on my work. I got my FIRST comment on my work on the MoonMan animation, I was so happy. I tell you. To me, comments make me motivated, It's like support to me. Thats why when I firstly posted Muri, I didn't post for another month. I didn't get any comments on her. I thought people didn't like her.

-now, IM SUPER GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF YOU!!!! yall are amazing, I have mentioned it many times about how much I love you all. Im super grateful for everyone and everything. Don't think wrongly, but sometimes Envy gets the best of me. And I'm shocked to say this. The thing that happened the day I crashed was an episode.

-In September I was overthinking, and then suddenly Sweetswirlybread came out of no where and then the situation continued and continued to the point a picture of me was EXPOSED here and even my private blog and fake accusations and all the distress and emotions I was feeling stacked up and caused a big episode on me that lasted longer than expected. My episodes usually last a few hours or a day, but this time it lasted for a whole week. When I am during episodes I can't tyep properly, which is probably why the way I spoke in my last post was not that understandable. After I made that post I cried the whole day, not even because of the situation, just because of how hard the episode hit me. Remembering all the distress and suddenly getting told to delete all my accounts and that people are tracking me down angered me.

-I completely crashed out in my last post, I was angry at everyone and also at myself, I was disappointed in everyone and felt strong emotions. And I am sorry for putting pressure on everyone, I am sorry letting my episode go through so easily, usually, I'm not on my phone during episodes. But I seriously felt so dark at the moment. Right now, I look at my last post, and even I don't understand the words I wrote.

-I am NOT forcing you all to comment on my posts, no!! If you don't want to talk in my posts then sure, I'm okay with it. It's okay if you're too busy, or embarrassed, or just in general don't talk in people's posts. I'm not asking you for anything, If you guys won't comment on my post it won't cause me another episode, so don't worry about that too. I know It's not only hard for me, but It's hard for everyone. I am happy you all support me in your own ways, you're all amazing. I love you all. I really do, I'm sorry for making you think otherwise.

I know you guys support me, It was hard for me to see it through so much envy I was feeling. Plus the whole drama crashed me so much distress so I was so confused and disappointed to the point I completely crashed.

I wanna say that I am sorry for worrying anyone, or if I put pressure on people, or if you think that I hate you. I am deeply sorry for it, and I felt very bad the day after. I really am sorry. I want to show how much I actually do appreciate you all.

I love you all, I'm sorry for getting mad so suddenly. If you still have any questions about what I meant in some sentences in my last post I can tell you in a more understanding way.

I had to cut my break short cus I felt deeply saddened by how I crashed out on everyone. And i wanna say I am sorry.

[spiral-writing-stuff]

hi hi! i saw ur requests were open? (sorry if theyre closed)

Can i request a Akutagawa x gender neutral teen reader? (Platonic ofcou) basically reader looks up to Akutagawa and sees him as a older brother figure and akutagawa sees them as a younger sibling :3 can it be angst also? like where one of them is badly hurt and the other is crying and all that jazz

pls and thank you <3

authors note: Don’t worry! If my bio says requests are open then they are! I just take a while to write because there’s a lot of stuff going on in my life, so I’m really sorry this took so long! Im thinking of splitting this into 2-3 parts because I’m still thinking of how to write the rest of the story, I have the plot already in my head but I just need to put it into words. This request is sooo cute big brother akutagawa is just such a great concept:,) Also so sorry if the angst isn’t good lol I’m not very good at writing creative sad stuff! (Please give me feedback!😭) also sorry if it’s too angsty i think I went a little overboard again. I might edit this story later.

Sorry this took so long!

I also couldn’t decide if reader is older or younger than Gin so you guys decide.

I Hope it’s what you wanted!!<3

On a Silver Night

Content/Warnings: angst, gore, blood/injury, abuse/child abuse, death, Dazai being a bastard, lmk if I missed anything

For as long as you can remember, Ryūnosuke was always protecting you and gin, as if you two are the thing he lives for. which you both are at this point He has always tried his hardest to defend you, gin, and the other children from thieves and abusive adults, he didn’t do it to be righteous, nor did he do it to feel better about himself, he just did. At least, that’s what you thought, it was hard deciphering his intent because everything he did, he did with the same, emotionless stare. People would always mention this fact. Even when he was killing, stealing, or when you found some food or someone told a joke, he always had the same blank expression. You thought it was funny sometimes though he never once showed any emotion, that didn’t matter to you, his actions spoke clearer than any words could.

Like when he would sometimes hug you and gin to keep you warm during cold nights, when he found food he would share it with the two of you first. And if anyone dared to threaten or try to hurt any of you they would be dead in an instant by Rashōmon’s sharp fangs. Yes, his facial expressions didn’t matter, he was trying his hardest to keep you and Gin from experiencing the harsh cruelty of the word, but he was still just a boy himself. There wasn’t much a malnourished and frail child could do, yet he persisted, despite how many times he’d fallen. You looked up to him and had a deep respect for him because of this.

Even though it was a horrible situation all of you were living in, you were happy just to be with your older brother, sister and the other children. Among all the other children, You, Gin and Ryūnosuke were the ones you were closest to.

Until that fateful day, when a group of criminals murdered all the other children in cold blood, leaving You and Gin injured, and Ryūnosuke thirsty for blood.

~ ~ ~

Gin had helped Akutagawa escape but you three got separated amidst the chaos and confusion, you held Gin’s hand tightly as you two ran and ran until you two were exhausted, collapsing onto the damp, cold ground. The air was foggy and cold, the night dark while the moon illuminated your surroundings with a silver light. After a few minutes of struggling to catch your breath you got up from the dirty ground and remembered only Gin was with you, Ryūnosuke had ran off in search of the criminals who killed your friends. Fear and panic shot through your body, terrified that Ryū was going to get himself killed.

“G-gin! W-we have to find Ryū!” You said to Gin in a rushed shaky voice. She swiftly nodded.

You two began running, this time slower due to how tired you both were. You were heading in the direction of where the shipment was said to be taking place.

“Gin! I think we’re almost there—“ you stopped when you saw a tall man walking in your direction with a shorter person. The shorter person had a black coat draped over his shoulders, the man seemed to be waking directly to you now, a smile on his face.

“Be careful Gin.. s-stand behind me..” you got in front of Gin just in case, until you realized the shorter person was Ryūnosuke, his eyes were slightly puffy and tearful, he had been crying. your heart dropping at the sight. Immediately you throw yourself at Ryū pulling him away from the mysterious man

“Just who are you and what are you doing with my big brother?!” You frantically yell at the man, hiding Ryū and Gin behind you

The man glares at you with boredom in his face, as if this was all nothing to him, but then he started to smirk slightly “Brother? Oh, I knew Akutagawa had a sister but I didn’t know he had another sibling. What’s your name?” He said with a mischievous face, He reached out his hand to seemingly pat your head but you smacked it away immediately, surprising him a bit “you didn’t answer my question-“ you felt a hand on your shoulder and turned around “Y/n…cough it’s okay..you don’t have to worry..” Ryū weakly said to you. Your heart ached at the sight of his bloodied and bruised face, looking down you can see he has bloody scratches on his knees, arms and legs, his entire body was hurt.

“Hm? Oh, right! Sorry about that! Where are my manners?” He said rather loudly “My name is Dazai Osamu, I just got promoted to a Mafia Executive today, Which means, I now have the authority to do certain things. like taking anyone as my subordinate, and your brother here has accepted my offer.” Dazai said soft-spoken yet somehow overbearing with a kind smile that didn’t reach his eyes. You were confused by the man’s statement, many thoughts ran through your mind;

“Would Ryūnosuke really agree to join the mafia? Especially join through this guy? How would we be guaranteed safety? What if this is just a trap to exploit Ryū’s ability? What if he kills us?”

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a dangerous, slightly condescending soft voice “you don’t have to worry, if i wanted you dead, I would have done so the second I laid eyes on you.” He said to you, it’s as if he read your mind. He was staring into your eyes as you stared back, his eyes void of any emotion, much like your brother’s, except you found a deep cruelness to them, it terrified you.

“Well, it was just gonna be Akutagawa here and his sister, but I can make arrangements, just for you.” His eyes went back to a neutral state “I promise,” he puts his hand on his chest “that the three of you will be fed, clothed, housed and compensated accordingly, as long as you work under me, no one else in the mafia will dare harm you.” Dazai reached his hand out to you, a sweet smile on his face

“so Y/n, do we have a deal?”

~ ~ ~

To be continued.

Notes: it is 5am as I write this, can you believe I’ve been writing and tweaking this since April 7th??!? And this isn’t even that long. What ADHD does to a mf

Honestly I’m not sure if I should continue this, obviously if more people wanna read it than yeah since I have the story already in my head, just need the motivation. So comment and tell me that you want more!!!

Anyways hope y’all enjoyed. Stay hydrated!

[bisexual-horror-fan]

coming here humbly asking on my hands and knees for a follow up to the mickey fic of a threesome w mickey, randy, and reader 🙏🙏🙏 now i’m a little biased so i am meekly asking for some positive randy content but honestly asshole mickey is soooooo dreamy that i can handle him poking at randy a bit >:))) i just know the reader (me it’s me guys) is so into both of them but mickey being jealous of the emotional connection randy and they have >>>>

SORRY IM JUST A LITTLE INSANE feel free to do anything and everything i am READY

B! Baby! I am so glad you formally asked for this and gave me a good excuse to write this for Multi-May! I know it is wrapping up really soon so I gotta finish strong, I thought about doing this one all month and poured a ton of effort and ideas into this one. A little bit shorter than the last one but this one is just fucking good, like you know? It’s just good! I hope it meets your standards and that you seriously all enjoy it! Better Story, Improved Effects got a lot of love so I am hoping this hits in a similar fashion. Let’s not waste time, let’s fucking go!

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 5.8K. Randy Meeks And Mickey Altieri X FEM! AFAB! Reader. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: DUB-CON. Non-Monogamy. Randy And Reader NEED To Talk And Work Through Their Issues. They Decide To Ignore Them. Cheating. Fighting.  Complex Emotions. Voyeurism. Mentions Of Masturbation. Cuckolding. Mentions Of Murder And Ghostface Related Activities. Black Mail. Breaking And Entering. Being Filmed Without Consent. Sex Tape. Lying. Mickey Is A Little Shit (But We Love Him.) Threesome. Vaginal Fingering. Eating Out. Edging. Orgasm Denial. Taunting. Teasing. Reader Is A Big Confusing Mess Of Horny. Vaginal Sex. Unprotected Sex. 

—

“Life, Imitating Art, Imitating Life.” 

—

Randy doesn’t say anything right away. He knows he should, in fact he plans to! Really he does, but when he sees you he just can’t bring himself to say anything about it, and he hates himself just a little bit for that. It becomes this sick and a touch sad ritual, of working up the nerve to talk to you about it, hyping himself up before he sees you, ready to lay down the law but as soon as his eyes meet yours, that fire of anger burning so brightly is quickly snuffed out. You have a regular date or hang sesh and then that aforementioned ritual is finished with him masturbating to that tape again for the what, fifty seventh time? Before swearing off of it and promising to put an end to this and talk to you already. 

It shouldn’t be this hard to clear the air but it is, he just cannot bring himself to talk about it, can’t force the words out of his mouth. He knows this can’t go on forever, it isn’t sustainable. 

You know something is up with him. Randy isn’t as good at hiding his emotions as he thinks he is, clearly something is going on but he isn’t saying anything first. You keep on waiting him out, hoping that he will be open and honest but he isn’t budging. You’d given him weeks to sort his head out and say what is on his mind but he still doesn’t give it up so if he won’t initiate that conversation, you suppose you will have to. Taking that initiative you surprise him, you show up on a day you know he doesn’t have class and when he answers the door he is still in his pyjamas and holding a bowl of cereal, sleepy eyes go wide, clearly shocked at seeing you this early and unexpected. 

“Hey Randy.” You greet and still confused he greets you in kind, “Uh hi, what’s up?

“Not much, I wanted to see you. Can I come in?” 

It is clear that he has no excuse to not let you in, so he just nods and steps aside as he says, nervously, “Yeah, totally, of course.” 

“Thanks.” You stride inside and then you are both sitting on the couch and you don’t waste time, “So what has been up with you lately?” 

He looks like a deer caught in the headlights, mid bite of cereal, the milk down his chin is endearing, you don’t comment on it. The spoon still sits between his fingers, his hand is over his mouth he asks, “Whaddya mean?”

You roll your eyes, unimpressed, “C’mon, I’m not fucking stupid, I know by now when something is bothering my boyfriend.” 

He shakes his head, spoon back in the bowl he sets it down on the coffee table, trying to brush you off, “Is that what this is about? I’m fine, just school shit, nothing’s up.”

“Randy.” You deadpan and he says your name back in a similar fashion, exasperated expression donning his features and you throw your hands up with a scoff, “Could you stop treating me like I’m dumb?”

“I’m not!’  Randy argues as he tries to convince you, “Everything is fucking fine, seriously, did you come over just to grill me?” 

You speak a little louder, anger beginning to colour your tone, “Don’t make me feel bad for playing the part of the concerned girlfriend who’s only worried about your wellbeing.”

That makes anger flare inside him as well but he doesn’t say anything, holding his tongue as you continue on, “I am not letting you wiggle out of this! Seriously I can see something is wrong, why don’t you want to talk to me about it? You can trust me!” 

You saying those last four words sets him off, reverberating around his skull, mocking and cruel, “You can trust me.” What a fucking joke. 

“Trust? You…You want to talk about trust?” He accuses and you say, “Yeah I do! I want to talk about trust.” 

His hand meets the back of his neck and then runs through his hair, going from back to front before it wipes over his face and he sighs, “Alright. Fine.” He gets up and goes over to the tv, he picks up a VHS tape and you ask, “Are you seriously putting on a movie right now?”

“How about you trust me?” The tone is biting and it slightly takes you aback, he hasn’t spoken to you like this before so you shut up and decide to trust him.

The tape is put in and then he comes back and sits down beside you, the VCR is whirring as it starts up, and then it begins playing after that strange intro, supposedly by Ghostface, the words don’t even register as your mind reels. Your jaw drops at what you see. There you are, bent over on Mickey’s couch, stripped naked and getting fucked stupid, your hair being pulled, exposing your lustful expression to the camera, moaning like a whore all the while. 

“So you still want to talk about trust?” 

Randy’s voice takes you out of your stupor, your mouth still open, you turn to him and that makes him pause for a moment. Mouth opening and closing a few times before you force out, “Randy I-I’m, I don’t know what to say-”

“You don’t know what to say? You cheat on me and fuck Mickey and you don’t know what to say?” You don’t know where to look, meeting his eyes seems like an impossible task but also looking at the tv and being confronted with what you did in shocking focus also seemed insurmountable. 

“No, I don't know what to say, okay?!” You feel sick, stomach twisting and your fingers tangle together in your lap, he responds in short order, “You fuck Mickey and make a fucking sex tape and you can’t even look at me right now but you wanna talk about trust?” 

He doesn’t stop talking, no stuttering, or tripping over his words, it is clear even though he hasn’t brought this up before he had thought a lot about what he wanted to say. Words continue to pour from his mouth, the question filled with venom, tone so sharp it could cut, “How many times has this happened?”

“Just the once.” You admit, “And you filmed your little homemade porno the first hook up with him?! What the fuck?”

“I didn’t know he filmed it.” You say it quietly, almost impossible to hear over how you are moaning and begging for Mickey to let you cum for the third time since the tape started. 

“You didn’t…Know he filmed it?” You look up, meet his eyes again and shook your head and after studying and scrutinizing the look in your eyes he can tell that you mean it, that you had as you were saying right now, “No fucking idea.” 

Well that sure as shit makes this more complicated. Of course Randy is still upset about you cheating but you being filmed without your consent is fucked up. You are thinking the same thing, it is fucked up but also, stealing glances back and forth between your boyfriend and the evidence of you illicit affair, you can’t help it. Something about it is unmistakably hot as fuck, not only the sound, the view and the reminder, just how uninhibited you are in that moment with Mickey. The memories come flooding back, how he touched you, the confidence and the way he made you feel, your legs press together and you hope Randy doesn’t notice. A hard swallow as you try to conjure up anger or disgust, anything other than arousal over you being filmed without realising it, the fact that you and Randy hadn’t hooked up since you cheated wasn’t helping, you were in need. The reason seems obvious now as to why you hadn’t been physical since that night.

You can’t believe that this happened, your head feels stuff full,  just totally all over the place but in the mess that is currently between your ears and Randy speaks again, “When did this happen anyway?”

That is when it hits. “Over half a month ago. That night you ditched me to go to the movies. I went to the party and met up with Mickey and he comforted me and middle, middle, middle, we hooked up. It just kinda happened.” 

You say it slowly and you ask your own question before he can speak, “When did you get the tape?”

“I don’t think that is important-” You cut him off, “It is. Tell me.”

It takes some pushing and prodding and he admits he got it on Saturday, the morning after you hooked up with Mickey. “Sooo you had this tape for almost a fucking month and you didn’t say anything until I had to drag it out of you?”

He isn’t looking at you now, he isn’t saying anything, chewing nervously on his thumbnail, the tape is still fucking running. The sounds of skin on skin and moaning, wet and filthy, you and Mickey’s verbal back and forth, and you notice, he has a pillow over his lap and you don’t think, you act. You reach forward and rip it away and your suspicions are confirmed, “Oh my God you’re rock hard right now!”

“No I’m not-” You laugh at that, the shocked expression as well as the attempt to hide the obvious, as if he could talk his way out of this, “Dude I can see it, you’re practically leaking pre-cum through your pants.” 

“Okay, okay, yes, I’m hard but that doesn’t mean anything-” You cut him off, “No it does, I think it means that you are into this a lot. Is this why you haven’t said anything to me?”

A gasp and a point, you are sitting side saddle on the couch now, eyes and attention locked on him as you accuse, “Is this why we haven’t had sex? Have you been getting off to this tape instead?”

“Yes! Okay? I’ve been…I’ve been getting off to this tape a lot, more than I should, too much.” 

The admission sits between you both, taking up the rest of the space on the couch not occupied by the pair of you. Now that all of this was out in the open, the hurt, the betrayal but also the fact that this awful thing you did, awoke some new and unexpected sexual parts of both of you. How do you even begin to unpack this? You had no clue.

A sigh before you speak up first and ask, “What are we gonna do about this?”

Mickey was debating over takeout for dinner, Chinese or pizza, phone in hand and looking over the menus when there was a frantic pounding on the door. 

He hangs up the phone as he gets up muttering, “What the hell?” Striding to the door he calls out, “Calm down, I’m coming.”

He opens the door to see you and Randy standing there nearly shoulder to shoulder, “Oh hey you two, what’s up?” 

“Not much.” You say and Randy asks quickly, “Can we come in?”

That surprises him. He pauses and wonders how he can turn you both down with a reasonable excuse but he knows he can’t so he holds the door open and says, “Sure.” 

You both come in and after he closes the door he asks, “I was just about to order dinner in, are you guys hungry or?”

“No, not particularly.” Randy says easily, he is looking around, you realise he had never been over to Mickey’s place before but he sure has seen it enough. Mickey poses a question, “You gonna uh, sit down?”

You and Randy both share a look, maintaining eye contact with him you take those few steps and sit down on the couch, right where you got fucked stupid almost a month previous. Randy breaks the eye contact and he takes the seat next to you, trying and failing to subtly wipe his sweaty palms on his pants, and as Mickey comes over with a raise of his eyebrows as he asks, “The fuck is up with you two?”

“We wanted to talk about what happened a few weeks back.” Randy started and you say next, “About us hooking up.”

��About us doing what?” He looks shocked, taken aback, Randy rolls his eyes and you deadpan over his acting,  “Wow, and the Oscar goes to. Come on Mickey, Randy knows, drop the act.”

He doesn’t, he is still defending himself and keeping up the charade and Randy gets up, he goes over and turns on the tv, and Mickey asks what he is doing but once the tape is pulled from Randy’s coat, inserted into the VCR and starts running it becomes abundantly clear. 

“So you gonna to keep pretending this didn’t happen?” Randy asked and Mickey turned to face you both again, “I can’t believe this.”

“Thank you, finally-” You started before Mickey cut you off, “So you came over to talk about how Ghostface is obviously targeting us?”

A heavy beat before you say, “What?”

Mickey’s expression shifts, as if what he said was fact, obvious, what else could this be about? He continued talking, “I mean you heard the opening at the start of this tape, that is what we should be worried about, right?”

You laugh in disbelief before you tell him, “No we came over to talk about how you filmed us fucking-”

“I didn’t do this.” He argues quickly, one hand to his chest and the other pointing to the tv and Randy bites back, “You seriously want us to believe that? You always have that camera on you.”

Mickey kept it going as he said, “Clearly he broke in and set this up, hand to God I didn’t film us! We are both the victims here.” 

“You’re joking.” You say dryly and he shakes his head, “Hardly!” 

“You think we are both victims?” You ask and he says yes, Randy asks next, “How?”

“I didn’t consent to being filmed either.” He was really piling it on and Randy says, “I don’t believe it.” 

Mickey fires back, “Why is it so unbelievable? Ghostface can play stalker and maim and kill but breaking into my place to make a blackmail porno tape is an impossible feat?”

When he puts it like that it is more convincing but still you aren’t sold yet, you have a question next, “Why would Ghostface do that? To what end?”

“To hurt Randy obviously! To hurt all of us, hell, even turn us against each other, if we are divided we are easier to pick off, aren’t we?” Why was Mickey making sense right now? Did you really believe him or did you just want to fuck him again? Did you truly care?

“So you really didn’t set this up?” You ask and Mickey’s arms cross, a shrug as he asserts, “God no.” 

Randy spoke up, “Okay, fine, fine, even if I buy your reasoning, you still fucked my girlfriend man!” 

“Shouldn’t have given me the opportunity.” Mickey said with a smile, “I mean fucks sake you see her! Like I could resist when I had the chance?”

He is looking right at you and you look away, eyes on the floor.

“So you don’t even feel bad about it?” Randy asked and Mickey laughed with a shake of his head, “Nope, not even a little.” 

“You are such an asshole!” Randy spits and Mickey says, “Yeah, well, you ever thought maybe you deserved it for taking her for granted?” 

He is looking over the take out menus again, unbothered, why was he so fucking hot right now? Mickey spoke again before either of you could, “So why are you both still here exactly? Just so Meeks can yell and stamp his feet, get it all outta his system or?”

That is when you and Randy share a look. A raise of your eyebrows, a silent question asking if he still wanted to go through with it and he gave a nod. That is when you spill your guts, about Randy getting the tape and how he liked it much more than he should have, which led to Mickey laughing at the admission. “Holy fucking shit! Randy is a fucking cuck!”

“Yeah, yeah fucking laugh it up.” Randy muttered, picking at the fraying thread on the edge of the couch cushion, and Mickey said with that same shit eating grin, “Oh I intend to.”

You placed a hand on Randy’s knee and squeezed reassuringly, which gave him the courage to say, “So the real reason we came by is I want your help.” 

“You want my help?” Mickey’s brows pinch together, a shake of his head as he tries to process it, eyes roving over the pair of you on his couch, when it fully sinks in, hands up as he says in utter delight, “Ooooh my God. You want me to give you tips on how to fuck your girlfriend better? That is it isn’t it?” 

His question is met with a single nod from both of you, leading to him exclaiming, “This is too fucking perfect.” 

“Why did we want to do this again?” Randy asked no one in particular, hands together and his own eyes on the floor. “Lighten up, Meeks! Christ.” 

“How can I when you are such an insufferable dickhead?” Randy asked, eyes up he said next, “Listen, that tape I…Watching it hurt, a lot, made me totally fucking jealous and feel like an idiot but I can give it up, as much as I hate to admit it, you clearly know what you are doing. I wanna make shit work between us-” He gestured between you and himself, “-so I thought fuck it, instead of blowing up my relationship and being a stubborn dumbass, I could swallow my pride and come here and ask for some ways to improve myself.”

“How very big of you. Excited to see if that is the only thing about you that is.” Mickey coos leading to Randy to roll his eyes and he sighs, asking, “ Asshole. So?”

Mickey responds easily, “I’m serious, you know. Not everyone could admit their shortcomings like this, good for you! And to answer your question I think the very least I can do is help you out here. Plus, I’d be an idiot to turn down another chance like this.” 

The way he is looking at you right now, hungry, excited, like he is on a bit of an ego trip, which why wouldn’t he be? Randy found out you cheated on him, fucked Mickey and had gotten off to the tape of said affair God knows how many times, leading to here, to now, asking for help on how to better fuck you from that same man you cheated on him with. If you were in Mickey’s shoes you are sure you’d be a bit of a peacock right now too. 

You hadn’t been inside his bedroom yet. You didn’t spend the night, during your last hook up, after hanging around for the end of Stab you got dressed and made your way back to your own place. The bedroom fit him, matched the rest of the place, clean but a little cluttered, and tons of posters on the walls, mosaicked around, not quite overlapping, but close, still given the space to breathe and have their own moment. You weren’t exactly that concerned with the wall decor at the moment though, currently you were on the bed, Mickey was starting to touch you and Randy nearby to watch every single moment of it go down. 

Mickey’s hand was on the back of your neck, he was leaning in and that is when Randy spoke up, “Woah, none of that.”

“What?” He asked, glancing over to your boyfriend and Randy elaborated, tone and gaze firm, “No kissing her on the mouth, that is for us.”

Mickey laughed, a roll of his eyes and he said, “Whatever you say.”  

Instead of kissing you on the lips he dipped down, first kiss met your jaw and he didn’t stop, mouth dragged lower as did his hands, heat began to pool inside of you in short order. There was something about this that honestly made it hotter than it already was, not being allowed to kiss traditionally made this more intense, dirtier, not to mention the whole scenario was already enough to do your head in, about to fuck someone who wasn’t your boyfriend in front OF your boyfriend.

Mickey’s mouth lifted slightly as he asked quietly as his fingers were teasing under the edge of your shirt, “Was this your idea or his?” 

“It was a mutual decision.” You tell him on an exhale and he hums, “Sure, sure, mutual.” 

You laugh lightly and chastise him, “You’re the worst.” 

His hand was up your shirt and had tugged one of your bra cups aside, a roll of one of your nipples making you arch closer to him, head falling back with a quiet moan. “Yeah sure it feels like you hate me right now.” He teased you.

It didn’t take long for clothes to start coming off, mostly yours but some of Mickey’s too, Randy seems a tad reluctant to shed any of his layers but he is being more involved. Closer, in fact right now he was kissing you, hands cradling your face as Mickey’s hand was sliding your underwear off. Your eyes were closed, you were caught up in the kiss and so when Mickey’s fingers touched down, that first confident but soft swipe over sensitive flesh your legs jerked and you moaned into Randy’s mouth. 

That makes him break the kiss, look down to see what was happening, Mickey was looking up at you, catching your reaction as his thumb passed over your clit, a slow circle that drew in a hard breath from you. “Fuck-” 

You cursed as he pressed a hair harder, his hand adjusts and two fingers begin to slide into your soaked hole causing you to tense, your hand that was on Randy’s shoulder grips harder. It’s when Mickey curls his fingers and you cry out that has you tugging on the material of your boyfriend’s shirt. 

He was thinking hard. Watching the intense eye contact, the way Mickey did everything so confidently, like he was just totally assured that what he did would have the desired effect on you, as if by believing it made it so. Is that part of this? Acting completely unintimidated and surefooted doing more to seal your pleasure than actual technique or is it a mix? He thinks so. Randy also knows that he is extremely hard and also feeling thoroughly left out, he doesn’t want to just watch this, he wants some more hands-on experience. 

Randy pulls away, saying seriously, “Show me exactly how you are doing that.” 

Mickey’s eyes flick from your face over to his, seemingly surprised not only by Randy speaking but his boldness. “Sure, get down here.” 

Now you thought it was just going to be your boyfriend observing, you were fine with that, more than fine with it, but you didn’t think it would be like this, so involved, it’s looking like this might turn into an all out threesome with you in the middle of it. You aren’t complaining, you are exceedingly turned on by the very thought. 

Legs spread wide, the pair of them both there, Randy seems reluctant to touch Mickey at all but some closeness is required for this. The adjustment takes a moment, Mickey’s hand leaves and you want to complain but you know with a little patience in a moment you will be heavily rewarded. A quiet moment of communication is shared, “Line up like this and-”

Two fingers are slipping inside of you again but with a look down the length of your body, you can see that one belongs to each of them. Mickey’s hand is on the bottom, Randy’s on top, overlapping it and the middle finger from each sliding in, “-when you feel this, move like this and-” Another curl, led by one with the other following and you gasp. That same cocky grin on his face, “-usually that happens.” 

“Fuck.” Randy was the one to curse this time, seeing you have this reaction was good, being the one to help incite it was amazing. You were soaked, practically pulsing on his fingers, it emboldens him, he takes initiative. He copies what Mickey did earlier, his thumb finds your clit but he rubs it in his own way, that one that he knows makes your thighs want to clamp closed and your breathing become uneven and Mickey takes notice. The action actually makes him feel a pang of jealousy. 

The shared look, the admiration, the fact that Randy’s biggest hurdle is his overly cautious and seemingly over thinking nature is beginning to hit him. Randy does know you and your body a good deal, the way you two are is just different, he just needs to stop treating you like you are made of glass and you’ll be set. That knowledge bothers him a lot. Even watching the pair of you kiss was difficult, the easy intimacy between you both was something he wish he had, sure he could fuck you dumb but Randy had really got you, he was your boyfriend after all, he had that emotional investment on his side. Mickey pushes all of these thoughts and everything else aside, he commits to the moment and instead teases Randy,“Oh so you do know some stuff.” 

Randy exhales amusedly through his nose, he hadn’t stopped, the pleasure is soaking into your bones as he responds, “Shut up man, I’m not a total idiot.” 

Some light fingering and you were feeling boneless and weak, having the pair of them totally focused on and devoted to you was intense to say the least and heavenly to say the most. Mickey’s finger left and Randy took over, his ring finger slipping in without missing a beat, no hesitation and not clumsy in the least. A new sensation made you gasp, Mickey had scooted in closer, one hand on your hip his mouth took over for your boyfriends thumb, a lick with the flat of his tongue that had you letting out a moan, fuck his mouth was good. His tongue felt incredible, hot, silky, the combination of his mouth and Randy’s fingers working in and out, experimenting, scissoring and toying with that spot, yeah you aren’t going to last terribly long. 

Mickey’s lips wrapped around the sensitive flesh, he sucks and you moan loudly from the sharp jolt of pleasure that tears through you. “Oh my God yes-”

“Fucking hell, what are you doing?” Randy asks and that helps soothe some of those emotions from before. Mickey feels better, every pass of his tongue that draws out more moans and pulls you closer to climax is just fueling his ego. Randy might have history and emotion and some more intimate knowledge of you but Mickey wasn’t going down without a fight, he was going to give this his all. He plays with you for another moment before his mouth lifts up and he looks over to Randy, “What, are you that helpless? You need me to walk you through how to eat too? Should we cover how to walk next?” 

“How about you stop your shitty stand up routine and use that mouth for something worthwhile?” Randy bites back and you agree, pleading, “Yeah, stop fighting already, please.”

“Fine, fine-” He sighs and says, “Get your mouth on there and I’ll talk you through it.”

He gets up and out from between your legs, he sits next to you on the bed and Randy takes over, he gets comfortable, his fingers slow down but don’t stop. The presses on that spot inside are more purposeful and keep the low and easy simmer of pleasure inside of you rolling comfortably. 

“Don’t do too much to start, even the smallest things can have a big effect, I’m telling you when someone is worked up-” He nudges you with a wink before he continues on, “-even breathing on them just right can get them squirming.” 

“I wanna say you are bullshitting but you haven’t been wrong yet.” Randy admits, the next feeling of warm breath fanning over your soaked cunt does make you shiver, his eyebrows raise and he looks up to see Mickey staring down at him, a look on his face saying, “I told you so.” 

Randy fights the urge to insult him and asks instead, “What next?”

“Start licking but don’t focus too much up top, you know? The whole area needs attention, the variation can make or break it, and can turn a good session into a stellar one.” Mickey’s words are aiding in all this, he is speaking in this tone that makes you clench on Randy’s fingers and pulse on his tongue. Hearing the instructions spelled out, told just what is going to happen and then feeling it is heightening sensation massively.

Randy is getting more certain and proactive as he goes along, he is taking the advice that is being given but taking what he knows you enjoy and blending it. The result is making it hard for you to listen, you are much too caught up in the feeling. 

Mickey’s voice does break through when you hear, “Get your lips around it, yeah like that, and don’t underestimate how good some suction can feel.” 

You barely process the words until the feeling hits, you cry out a mix of their names, body trembling and in two minutes after that you whine out how close you are. That is when it all stops, you groan loudly as you feel the edge slipping away, about to complain and you see Mickey had pushed Randy off of you, “What the hell man? She was about to cum.”

“You think I don’t know what she sounds like when she is about to cum? This is part of it! Do you want my help or not?” Mickey asks and Randy shakes his head and gets off his knees, moving out of the way as directed, “Can I ask the purpose of being so cruel? Like do you just looove edging or?”

“I mean I’d be lying if I said I didn’t but no, if you deny em once, twice, more, it is easier to get them to cream all over your cock.” Mickey said it as if it was painfully obvious. The crude words make your straining clit throb, you wished that them talking about you as if you weren’t here and spread out naked between them didn’t get you so hot and bothered. 

Randy did have to admit, it did seem like he made it insanely easy when he did that, the part of the tape where Mickey made you squirt is forced into his mind and he shuts up promptly. He had mixed emotions about this, jealousy, anger, humiliation but also, curiosity and undeniable arousal. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you how she needs to be fucked and then maybe you can have some half decent sex.” Mickey taunted and you scoff, “Stop shit talking him so much and fuck me already, okay?” 

“Whatever the lady wants.” Mickey sighs as he is taking off the rest of his clothing, jeans and underwear shed and you manage to tear your eyes away to look over to Randy, “You going to-?”

“I don’t know yet.” He admitted and Mickey said, “If you are worried about me, don’t be, if you wanna jack off to this I wouldn’t blame you.” 

“My God, do you ever stop talking?” You ask around a laugh as Mickey starts to get on top of you, “Mostly when I’m sleeping.” 

Randy reaches out, hand on Mickey’s chest and he said, “Hold on-”

Mickey looks up to see the wrapped condom in your boyfriend's hand and he smiles, “What? You really want me to wear a condom when I’ve already fucked her raw before?” 

“Uh yeah, obviously?” Randy said and Mickey rolled his eyes, one hand reaches out he takes the condom and tosses it aside and the other under one of your knees he is lining up, “Yeah I’m already following your fucking stupid no kissing rule so-” A strong push forward of his hips and he slips inside of you, an arch of your back and a loud moan, your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him the rest of the way in, a breathless moan from Mickey before he finishes the thought, “-I don’t think so.” 

He soaks in the feeling of you, hot, tight, wet, wrapped around him before he starts to pull out, half way before he bucks forward again, “See? Even she doesn’t want me to wear one.” 

Randy should be annoyed, should cuss him out and tell him off but fuck if that wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Mickey is starting to fuck you with an easy pace, very aware of how closely Randy is watching at this moment. He is going to pull out all the stops, he is going to make you cum on his dick, he is going to make you scream and squirt and show Randy just how good he can be to you. Mickey’s mind is running, he knows that with every trick he shows, move he shares, advice he imparts he is only giving Randy more of an edge, he isn’t sure he can fuck you away from Randy but he knows he doesn’t have to.

Not when he and Nancy are going to put that plan forth next month, not when Randy is going to die and then Mickey is going to be there to comfort you, help you grieve and put you back together. 

For now he is going to have fun, safe in the knowledge he was going to get you in the end, no matter what. It was going to be a great night, especially as Randy seemingly can’t hold back, opening up his own pants and desperate to get off to the view in front of him. He picks up the pace, fucking into you harder as he starts to attempt to conjure up some adequate verbal degradation to throw Randy’s way through the building pleasure.

Randy had a hand around himself, starting to touch himself as he breathed out, "Make sure you pull out."

Mickey nodded absentmindedly, huffing out over the sounds of your moans, "Yeah, yeah, I will."

No way was he going to, the thought of pumping you full of cum and Randy getting his sloppy seconds was way too sweet.

[bearyzdiary]

aa !! i'm so glad to have found someone who writes cry of fear x readers!! could i request simon with a reader who doesnt usually show emotion, but one night just has a meltdown while theyre hanging out?

have a great day/night!! :D

Life is tough

Simon x reader!

This diary entry contains: Mental breakdownsl Established relationship|Simon is such a sweet heart in this| may be short idk

HIII IM SORRY FOR JUST POOFING OUT OF THIN AIR FOR A BIT BUT!! Im back and im supposed to be getting a new laptop today so thats fun!

I really hope you do enjoy this🥳

You and Simon were alike in so many ways.Maybe it was the fact the both of you guys had a hard time opening up and communicating.Unlike Simon who had a therapist and tried to talk to people you kept yourself all shut it.

You hated crying around people and you weren’t a big fan of smiling as much.People never understood you like Simon did because Simon was understanding and didnt push you to show emotions like other people.

that was all until one night when you went to hang out with simon.You had been on edge all day.It started with your teacher putting you on blast in front of the class for slacking off,Then at lunch you spilled milk on yourself which did end up starting to smell forcing you to haunt down simon to borrow his hoodie for the rest of the day.

on the train ride to his house you nearly tripped in front of a group of college kids who tried to hold in their laughter.You felt embarrassed as you sat down in the seat in the far back.

You just wanted to go ghost and not speak to anyone besides simon and close friends.Once you arrived at his house you stared at the house as kids played in the streets and colored on the sidewalk.

you felt so out of place in a way.So gloomy stuck in a colorful place.you push open the gate before walking up the steps.The sound of the steps must have alerted his mother as she came rushing to open the door and greet you.

"(Y/N)! it's so sweet to see you after all this time"She said while pulling you in for a hug.The smell of her perfume filled your nose as you hugged her back.

"Simon is in his room,He seemed so excited to spend some time with you im truly happy he found you"She said as allowed you in.You nodded as you made your way through the familar house layout.

Coming up to the door you knew belonged to simon,You knocked a couple of times before hearing the sound of a window opening,coughing and something being sprayed.

his bedroom door swung open as he smiled slightly.No words were exchanged as you shuffled into his room.He closed the door before looking at you with a worried expression.

"Did something happen?You look upset"He asked while sitting on his bed.You felt hot tears fill your eyes slowly at the question.Simon took noticed and open his arms slightly.You walked over before plopping into his arms and letting out a chocked sob.

"I try so hard simon and it's like nobody understands besides you.I keep messing up while trying to be good at things and it's eating at me slowly"You ranted as tears fell from your eyes.

Simon rubbed your back as he nodded before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead."I know it may seem hard and trust me i know but something i learned is that you have to learn how to well do things on your own without trying to be good for other people"He explained.

You sniffled as it went quiet besides the sounds of the kitchen sink being faintly heard and kids screaming at each other.After a bit of crying in his arms,Simon placed you in his bed before laying next to you.

"Your very speical and you shouldnt be so worried about how people think of you.Just know i think your a cool person even if you barely show your emotions"He explained while pulling the blankets over you the both of you.

"I had something's planned for us but they can wait you clearly need a nap"Simon said while holding you close and closing his eyes.You slowly copied his movement as you felt safer in his arms.

for once you were glad you showed some emotion to simon because now you know you can rely on him to comfort you.

[altrodent]

Not Losing You

Pairing: (Jealous)Steve Harrington x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Fluff, established reader/character lore, slight cursing, gender neutral reader, use of (Y/N) (IM SORRY) Tired 1-2am writing (not proof read)

Summary: After you and Nancy stopped hanging around Steve, a certain blonde takes a liking to you, and Steve can’t take it. 🤭❤️‍🩹

When asked about the Halloween party, mostly everyone would say it was fun, sexy even. Mostly- but to Nancy and Steve it was nothing but a mess, of course a mess that you got dragged into by a drunken brunette. You could tell immediately by Nancy’s fuddled walk and Steve’s miserable expression that something terrible had happened. Nancy slowly dragged you with her, the girls words slurred “Come on… t-this parties just bullshit.” You looked at her confused, the crowd around you loosening as everyone stared. “Nance, what are you talking about? What happened with-“ she turns around and places her well manicured finger up to you face shushing you “Don’t worry about it- let’s just leave…”

She began to head out the door before a California-tanned arm grabs a hold of your waist, “Hey, leaving so soon?” You turn around to see Billy, standing almighty and extremely way too close. “I thought we were having fun, baby” Nancy looks at Billy annoyed and keeps pulling you with her. “Yeah, we were it’s just- she needs a ride home, it’s been a long night.” Nancy hops into the passengers seat, pouting with her arms crossed. “Ah, well, don’t be afraid to come back. You could always come back to my place too to keep the night going” he winks at you through the smoke of his cigarette. You go to respond to his suggestive comment when, you peak over his shoulder and see Harrington staring at you. Usually you like to believe people don’t stare, but his eyes were set, and weren’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, you looked back for too long and Billy took a notice. “Harrington, huh? Look between you and me, babe, that guys a total freak show. Here-“ he takes out a piece of joint wrap and writes his number on it. “Call me whenever you wanna experience a real man, ‘kay?” Now, usually you’d never go for this type of guy, but this is the first number you’d ever gotten from an interested guy… it was like a golden ticket. “‘Kay.” You repeat back, putting the paper into your pocket. “Drive safe, hot stuff” He winks one last time, definitely staring at your ass as you walked away to the car. You couldn’t help but look past him, Steve looks even worse than before. Wonder what happened…

After driving Nancy home and talking her through her drunkard emotions, you drove home ready to end your night. There was a part of you that wanted to know more, that wanted to be more helpful. So instead of going to sleep you picked up the phone. “This is Steve..” he sounded glum, but at least he picked up “I know I know-“ suddenly his tone becomes more joyous “(Y/N)? Wh- why are you calling? What’s up?” Your brows furrow “I talked to Nancy” he sighs, loud enough that you can hear it through the phone “Did she tell you what she told me?” You chuckle anxiously “that everything’s bullshit?” Steve chuckles softly before going quiet “look, I’m not trying to get involved in your business or anything, but… well, they do call alcohol truth serum and while the truth may hurt, at least it’s out… god that is not helpful at all- sorry, I just-“ Steve interrupts “no, I get what you’re trying to say, it’s okay. I’m glad I know how she really feels about me…” the line goes quiet before he clears his throat “so uh, what was Billy saying to you?” The paper in your pocket making its way into your hand “oh, he was just doing what he always does, try to pick up people. Usually he picks up more…” you pause trying to find the word before Steve says“immodest people?” You gasp dramatically “Wow, am I too modest? Can’t believe you Harrington, I work hard to disturb the peace!” You hear him laugh on the other end “There is no peace in this town to begin with” you laugh softly before the line goes dim again

“Hey, (Y/N)?” You hum in response “Do you… do you like Billy?” Your brow furrows slightly “What do you mean?” Steve sighs deeply “I mean what I said, do you like Billy?” You stop to think, only for a moment. “I mean, he’s okay, but I just don’t think I could ever see myself with a guy like him.” Steve scratches the back of his neck, and tries to nonchalantly ask “Well, what kind of guy would you see yourself with?” You feel like you know why he asked, but he’s still in a relationship! Keep your act together! “Well, I mean, probably just someone who wouldn’t want to use me like Billy, but that’s kinda bare minimum, no?” Steve sighs exasperated, “yeah, I get that… hey, uhm, would you wanna hang out tomorrow? Maybe go see a movie or something?” You chuckle “we’ll see how the day goes, now get your beauty sleep Harrington” you chuckle “yeah, yeah… goodnight” you can hear a soft smile forming at his mouth over the phone “goodnight” You hang up, before flopping onto the bed, only praying that nothing bad happens tomorrow.

The next day rolls around, and almost immediately you’re picked out by the sun kissed blonde with the nice ass. “Hey, hottie, you never came back to the party… did I scare you off?” You roll your eyes sarcastically “Yeah, as if you could scare me” he puts his arm around your shoulders, and immediately everyone is looking at the two of you. You’re not extremely popular, nor are you the type Billy has ever gone for, so people are whispering left and right. Billy notices how unnerved you are by all the people, he leans close to your ear “just ignore them sweetheart, they just wish they were in your place.” He kissed you temple before standing back up, and almost immediately your cheeks are a bright shade of rose. He chuckles softly “You really are cute, you know that?”

He brings you to your locker and leans against the ones next to yours, just scanning your every move, and admiring every feature. “I mean, compared to everyone else here, I’m not really all that special…” you gently bite the inside of your cheek as you input the code on the lock of your locker. “See, even that- most of the people here and stuck up snobs with broom handles up their asses. You’re very… pure, very cute. And, if I may add, more attractive than most of the others, even if they don’t see it.” He seemed to be getting closer and closer with every compliment “Oh, you don’t mean that… I bet you say that to every girl you try to get with” your brows furrow as you close your locker door. “I’m past my… date hopping days, baby. You can only do it for so long before you start to feel a bit guilty.” You roll your eyes “I wonder why.” You look past Billy and see Steve waiting alone for first period to start, it’s sad seeing him without Nancy or the goons. “I’ll see you later, Kay?” Billy sighs “alright sweetheart, just don’t forget what I said. Don’t be shy to call me whenever you want” he smirked before kissing your cheek, letting you leave.

You walk away, gently touching the spot he kissed. Even if you didn’t want him to, Steve noticed. “You and Billy are a thing now?” He raised a brow as he stood upright, looking at you with his… sultry, beautiful eyes… “No, he’s just picked me as his victim of the month I guess… why, jealous?” You tease, gently tapping his chest. He scoffs “As if… we’re still on for later though, right?” You nod, smiling warmly “of course… how did things go with Nance, if you don’t mind me asking?” His shoulders fall “We’re uhm… split. She said our relationship was bullshit- she said I was bullshit, so… now we’re broken up.” Your heart breaks, you’ve known them for years, and now they’re broken up. “Oh, you poor thing…” you hug him tightly. Steve would always mock you for being very nurturing, always like a parent, but he really needed the hug. He grasped the material of your top tightly as he hugged you back. “I just don’t know where I went wrong…” he whispered softly. You pull back, seeing even more people begin to crowd. “Hey, uhm… let’s talk outside.” He nods as you lead him to the empty courts near the back of the school.

The bleachers are cold, but it’s better than the dirt, he sits next to you looking glum. You rest your head on his shoulder “How are you feeling beyond the Nancy thing, how is everything else going?” He rubs the back of his neck “Well, uhm… there’s this person I know, they’re super cool and stuff, but I feel overly protective of them… like- as terrible as this sounds- I feel like I’ve loved them even when I was with nance… is that wrong?” You tilt your head up “Well, I mean, most school relationships don’t last as sad as it is, and while you might’ve liked this person while in a relationship I guess it doesn’t make you bad… you didn’t actively cheat or anything. Does the person know you like them? Do you still like them?” You poor oblivious thing. His posture stiffens “Well- I don’t think they do… and yeah… I like them a lot” he groans and paces the seats behind you “god, I like- I love them. And it kills me because they don’t know it, and if I don’t tell them they’re going to fall for this other guy who I personally think is a giant douche bag but-“ you pipe in “who is it?” Steve freezes.

He knows his answer, but he’s scared of the result. “God, (Y/N), I love you. I always have, I always knew. I don’t know how I got this far without telling you yet, it’s so incredibly hard to contain my true self around you. You’re hilarious, you’re cute, you’re supportive… hell you’ve been helping me through this rut with Nancy, and I hate it, because I don’t wanna even think about Nancy, ‘cause the only person I’ve ever had on my mind is you! I’ve only ever wanted you- to be with you, since the day we met. You’re everything to me, and I’m not losing you to that piece of shit Hargrove after I’ve spent all these years this close to you!” He sits down in front of you gently grasping your shoulders physically shaking because of all the emotions he let out. He scans your face for a second, you’re trying to process everything he had just said. Almost for a moment, it feels like you and Steve have mind-linked together, as you both lean in. Though the weather may be cold, the kiss is warm, and his embrace is delicate. Every problem that was stressing him out melted away, every worry in your head had disappeared. For once, everything seemed right with the world, like it was just the two of you, forever. You pull away from the kiss softly, gently running a hand through his voluminous hair“You’re not losing me, Harrington.” You smile warmly as he smiles up at you, “That’s all I ever wanted.”

~

(A/N): Screaming, crying, peeing my pants. Needed to get some Y/N moments out of my system, I hope you enjoyed! 🤭❤️

[cloudykaii]

sixteen percent

pairing: choi beomgyu x txt 6th member!reader

summary: you mean more than you think. you're sixteen percent of txt after all

warnings: mentions of illnesses, misogyny, heart condition.

notes: this is like a sequel to a fic that i have not yet put out! i am sorry it is short but a lot of you guys have said that you find the short, multipart aus easier to read so im trying to abide by that :,)

Beomgyu was the one who worried the most. It had only been a short period of time since you had finally been released from the hospital, and you hadn’t really been saying much. “Hey,” he said softly. He found you sititng in the windowsill. Any other time, he would have made a joke about how unfair it was that you were the only one with your own room, but he didn’t have it in him this time- not when you looked beyond sad, sitting surrounded by your pillows and stuffed animals, just watching the rain.

It wasn’t unusual for you to hang out by yourself in your room. Truth be told, the guys were worried that you didn’t like them at first. You were so nice to them whenever they did manage to have your attention, but usually they couldn’t get you to say much to them outside of practice or performing. You didn’t really seem rude to them, though. Just shy. After all, rude people don’t usually make everyone they live with cute matching friendship bracelets as a welcome gift.

They made their own rule not to push you to interact since it seemed like you were uncomfortable, but Beomgyu felt like that went out the window in this circumstance. After all, you had collapsed in an airport due to a secret illness.. was he wrong for wanting to make sure you were alright?

You didn’t really respond to his words, just letting out a hum of acknowledgement. He moved to sit beside you, knowing he had your attention. “What’s bothering you? You haven’t said much since you came home, and that was hours ago.”

“It’s weird.. now that you guys know. Other than Soobin, you guys were so nice about it. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

He took note of the way your hands shook as they moved to pull the blanket up higher over your legs, and of how your voice wavered a little as you spoke. It took a moment of silence for him to fully understand. “You’re scared.”

“Of course, I’m scared,” you sniffed. “Soobin’s reaction was the entire reason I didn’t want anyone to tell you guys in the first place.”

He sighed. “Soobin is just scared. You have a heart condition and that is a serious thing. We’d been pushing each other beyond our abilities for a while and yeah, we did it to help each other get better, but that could mean something totally different for you.”

You sighed. He didn’t get it. It wasn’t that Soobin’s reaction had upset you because he yelled at you, or because he was angry. You had known the leader of your group long enough to know that anything he had said, no matter how aggressively- was just out of concern, and you didn’t fault him for being emotional and not sure how to use his words. “Do you know how hard I had to work to get here?” You turned to him.

“I practiced for years; do you know how many twenty-four days I did just to figure out how to hit notes? The diets, the school, learning a language, all of that? I was told there was a chance I may never debut just because they weren’t in the market for girl groups just yet. When the opportunity came and I heard they were debuting a new group, I did everything I could every single day. I took risks that gave me injuries and some of the girls even hated me for going out of my way like I did.”

You were clearly getting heated, tone rising, and the pace of your words was starting to move so fast that he was struggling to keep up. Beomgyu grabbed your hand as if to pause you. “Yeah, but Y/N,” he sighed. “Most trainees went through that.”

“No!” you exclaimed. “You didn’t! Because then I debuted, and even after that every day was like a fight I was destined to lose. I did everything I could to be talented, but then I was a small girl living in a dorm with six guys. You guys had all gotten to kind of know each other, I was the last to be added, I knew nothing.”

Beomgyu could tell from the way you kept rambling and working yourself up that what you truly needed from him right now wasn’t advice or explanations. He grabbed your hand once more when started using it to illustrate and you kept going like you didn’t even notice. “And then! Every time we perform, I hear the stylists talk about how choosing a concept is so hard for them because they can’t figure out how to do my outfit, like I’m a nuisance to the group! And don’t get me started on choreography- do you know how many times I had to stay behind while you guys went home just to tell the choreographer to stop throwing out more intricate routines just because he assumes that I can’t do them? I had to convince them I could by practically doing a little audition!

“Not to mention the social media outrage. The news was announced, and the lineup came out and I was getting called every name in the book for just performing with you guys! It seems like my very existence alone causes so many problems for the group,” your breath caught in your chest, but after rambling the things that had been on your mind for so long, you weren’t really surprised.

But he was. Even though they were still fairly new, the six of you had been performing together for about six months now. In that whole time, you had never opened up like this. They had even gotten Kai to say more about his personal feelings than they had managed to get out of you. The most you had ever said about yourself was in interviews.

You looked up at him as you tried to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. Your cheeks were flushed, embarrassed at having spilled your guts like that. “Do you feel better?”

The words threw you off. Why was he asking you that? You had basically yelled at him, and said that his struggled to get to where he was weren’t as valid as yours, so why was he smiling at you? Wasn’t he offended or something? Shouldn’t he be telling you how rude and spoiled you are right now?

But all Beomgyu did was pat your head and repeat the question. “Do you feel better?”

“It’s not that I didn’t tell you guys because I didn’t trust you or because I don’t take anything seriously,’ you tried to sum up, voice much softer now. “I just didn’t want you guys to think of me as a weaker link than I already am.”

The sound of your brathing and the rain hitting the window was all that could be heard for several moments, and your heartbeat started to pick back up until Beomgyu finally spoke again. “None of us think anything like that of you. I mean... we’ve definitely had some conversations where we thought you hated us or were scared of us because of how little you hang out with us in private… but we didn’t know you were the one who was uncomfortable. We never really pushed because we wanted to give you space, we thought you knew you were welcome.”

“I just don’t want to be a nuisance.” He shook his head to deny that before the statement had even completely been uttered. “That’s ridiculous. You’re not a nuisance. You’re singlehandedly the funniest in the group, and none of us can hit high or low notes the way you can. Yeonjun has started picking up on your slang! You’re the smartest, by far. You taught yourself three languages so fast!” It was his turn to be on a roll, but you just let yourself laugh and waved your hands to stop him.

“Okay, okay, I believe you!” You chuckled. “I guess… I just don’t always feel like I’m all that important to the group. I feel guilty sometimes you know?”

“Guilty for what?” Beomgyu scrunched his nose. “It doesn’t matter. Taehyun ordered food for everyone, and I am not going to let you sit in here all by yourself and feel upset when you can come out here with us and have a good night.”

As he dragged you out, you weren’t sure that he had truly understood what you had been telling him, but the next day you found a package in front of your bedroom door. Inside was a bracelet- it had the date you were added to the group engraved on it. Underneath the jewelry was a picture of you belting out a note onstage, it almost looked like a newspaper clipping. Then, finally, taped to the bottom of the box was a note, and scrawled in messy handwriting read: “you matter more than you think.”

You smiled as you looked through it all, pinning the picture and the note up on your vanity mirror before you heard the call. “Y/N! I made breakfast!”

“Coming!”

[ficmashup]

half request??

just got into work and found out one of my patients died an hour after i left my last shift. and i’m kinda taking it a bit rough. how do you think price or simon would comfort medic! reader after a terrible day like this. obviously no pressure and pls ignore this if you’d like, im just in need of some comfort/angst/fluff🫤

A Bad Day

A/N: Oh, Anon, I'm so sorry that happened. That's incredibly hard to go through. Hope this short and sweet fic gives you a little comfort. <3 I tried to keep the situation pretty vague, so take it as you will. (Also thanks for being the first to send me an ask!) I personally pictured my OC G for this, but this can really just be Price x medic!reader.

Warnings: Language, moodiness, clear implication of something bad having happened.

Word Count: 1.1k

Nothing else exists outside the paperwork I’m filling out.

There are a few desks offered in the back of the medical tent and I claim one of them as my own rather than going back to my room to be alone. The shuffling of feet and soft voices keeps me from my own thoughts as I bury myself in the monotony of filling out information. The boys stop by throughout the day. Soap tries to tease me and make a few jokes, but all he gets from me is a few hums. Gaz comes by next and leaves a small pile of hard candies without saying much. I don’t touch any of them.

Simon comes by and he just drags a stool over, sitting beside my desk within my eyeline. After a handful of minutes, I sigh and let my pencil pause even though I still don’t look at him. “Fuck off.” I tell him under my breath and go back to work.

“Why don’t you come to the training ring with me for a while?” He offers and my eyes shut a moment.

“Don’t treat me gently right now.” My voice is low and holds a warning.

He leans an elbow on my desk and my eyes snap to his. He stills. “Didn’t know me offering to go a few rounds was gentle.”

“It is. You’re trying to be nice and sometime in the future, I’m sure that I’ll be grateful for the effort. But not today and not now.” I get back to work and take a deep breath to keep myself steady. “I just need to do something successfully right now. Be productive. And I don’t need a chaperone.” A few beats pass before Ghost sighs and gets up, his fingers tapping twice on my desk before he walks out.

I’m left alone for the rest of the day and I finish all my work along with a dozen useless tasks to simply fill my time. Night falls and I rub my eyes as they ache before rising from the desk. A deep breath leaves me before I turn towards the exit to find Price waiting with his arms crossed. My body laxes at the sight of him, tiredness catching up with me along with the weight of the day. I walk over slowly and stop in front of him, letting him read my expression as I barely manage to give him a weak smile. “I have food waiting in your room.” He says softly as we begin walking down the hall. I appreciate the little touch of his fingers to the inside of my arm as we turn and the feeling of his hand hovering over my lower back. It’s all we allow ourselves while still in a public place.

“I don’t feel much like eating.” I murmur and he hums.

“I know.”

It’s that quiet acceptance that makes me swallow as emotions crowd my throat. I focus on Price’s steady presence and the faint scent of cigars that always seems to linger on him. When we get to my room, I walk in and sit on the end of my bed while Price steps in after me to shut the door. I set my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands. A second passes before John sighs as he gets onto his knees in front of me with his hands gently sliding up and down my arms.

“I’m here if you want to talk and I’m here if you want to be silent. Either way, I’m here.” His voice rumbles through me and I open myself up a bit more to make room for him to press closer. My arms rest on his shoulders while his rest over my thighs, his fingers skimming up and down my sides.

“Pretty bad day.” I whisper and he hums while I press my temple against his. “I keep replaying it. Debating if there was something else that I could have done—”

“Don’t do that.” He pulls back just enough so that I can see his pretty blue eyes. His hat gets discarded onto the bed beside me. “You did everything you could have at the time. After that, it’s out of your hands.” I nod and reach up to idly run my fingers through his beard as we simply share space for a while. Breathe the same air. Soak in the comfort of simply being with someone who understands.

Eventually he tempts me up to my desk to eat something and he even slips me a bar of chocolate that makes me feel a little lighter. He pulls my feet into his lap and fondness fills my heart as he removes my boots and socks. His fingers slide under my pants, kneading my calves one by one as I eat and even feed him a bite or two of chocolate as payment for the attention.

“Hope I didn’t upset the boys too much today.” I say when I’m finished and I’m just watching him touch me with such gentle care that it makes everything seem a little better.

He chuckles. “We’re all still learning what each other needs. They won’t hold it against you.”

“How many came to complain to you today?” I risk asking and hum a laugh when he gives me a smile. All of them, then. “That’s sweet.”

“You don’t have to worry about them today, sugar. Let me take care of you.” He gives my legs a little tug and I melt a bit more in my chair, letting him.

My lips press together as I think for a few moments and Price stays quiet as he lets me. “It’s going to take me a while to get past this one.” My voice is hushed.

Price’s expression doesn’t change as he nods. “Sometimes it does. That’s fine. As long as you don’t let it stop you.” I take this in, storing his words away for when I might need them before easing up from my seat and sliding onto his knee. He instantly wraps an arm around my waist to pull my body against his while my fingers gently scratch the baby hairs on the back of his neck.

“Mind if I do something terribly unprofessional?” I ask and soak in the humor glittering in his eyes.

“I’m clearly a stickler for professionalism.” His hand squeezes my hip while my head tilts to get closer to him, our lips a fraction apart.

“Clearly.” I give him a sweet kiss. “Thank you.” I murmur against his lips and rest my forehead against his.

“Always.” He whispers back. For the first time today, I feel steady with him under me and his arms around me.

[cajunfoxnight]

Hi really interested in this reconstruct Au!! Do you have more information about the story?

Oh Anon.. I hope you are ready for the can of worms you have just opened 😬

I should warn you tho, I am not the best at telling a story, and im worse at explaining one. However I also want to share this AU as its been something ive been working on for 8+ years, and while it is mostly a self indulgent Monster AU, full of stereotypical troupes and cliches, its also very important to me. I made this AU when I was not in a good place mentally and was using it as a way to cope with and express the feelings I was having at the time. Its changed a lot and truth be told its actually 2 story lines that combine to become 1 down the line. But for the sake of this ask, I will focus on talking about the Reconstruct backstory.

Anyway if youre still interested in what the story is about, then please continue reading! I will do my best to try not to babble too much but.. its going to happen anyway 😅

TW: So I should probably start off with mentioning that this AU does contain emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, and mention of body mutilation. Not that im going to go into the details of that here but thats just me covering my own ass :v At the point the story is at now, Gladion is much older than he is in the games/manga/anime. His actual age isnt fully known as the theme with this AU deals with time and interdimensional travel, so its hard to keep track of, but he appears to be in his early 20s. But for all intents and purposes he is an adult.

✨The story ✨ So the Reconstruct AU is something of a "bad ending" storyline.

So this story follows that of the canon for the beginning. Mohn disappeared when he fell through an Ultra Space worm hole that was opened, and his whereabouts are unknown. Lusamine still went into her crazy and Ultra Beast obsessed self, only concerned with youth, beauty, and keeping things as under her control as much as she can. Gladion steals TYPE:NULL and Lillie taking Nebby and running away. Lillie going to live with Kukui and Gladion joining Team Skull as their enforcer.

In this timeline, Lusamine, in her desperate need to have control of everything around her, decides that she will create her "perfect world" where she will surround herself with all of the things that she loves. A place where everything will be kept exactly the way she wants them, preserved for all of time, and where she wont ever be alone again. However she knows that she can not do this on her own, but knows who can. Someone younger, stronger, and already has knowledge about the UBs and Aether. Now the hard part is getting him to join her, but she has a plan for that.

Lusamine gets in contact with Guzma (as in this story he still "works" for her) and with the help of some choice words, a good sob story, and probably a fat check, she's able to convince him that she has changed and she wants help from him to convince Gladion of these things as well. Being that he and Gladion are so close, and obviously he trusts him so much, it shouldnt be hard for him to talk some sense into him, right? She does an amazing job at getting Guzma on her side, having him think that Gladion is just being a bratty, rebellious, edgy teen. After all, he comes from some nice rich family, could have anything he wants, and yet still chose to ran away, how bad could it have possibly been? Does he even realize how bad some of these kids have it? How badly HE had it?? So generally he thinks that Gladion is just over reacting/being dramatic. He doesnt know how good he's had it, obviously!

Guzma sets up this whole "ambush". He has Gladion come back to the shady house, getting him inside and cornering him in his room, where he is confronted by Lusamine. She puts on this big show of being the sorry mother just wanting her son back, going on about how she's changed and she didnt mean to do all of those horrible things and so on and so on. All she wants is them to be a family again, like they used to be, is that really so much to ask for? Gladion is already seeing right through this, he knows all of this is bs, but he cant seem to get anyone on his side. After all, the members of Team Skull never really liked him anyway and were only going along with it bc Guzma said so. Now with Guzma against him, he has no real back up. He cant fight back and he cant even escape. Despite his stubborn nature, he still cant overcome the hold his mother has on him after all those years. She very much has him between a rock and a hard place. So not having any other option, he is forced to go back home with her.

Once back home, Gladion's life is turned upside down as Lusamine does everything she can to keep him on a short leash. All freedom that he had is now gone, and he is constantly watched and monitored, its suffocating. Much like before, he's told how to dress, how to act, what to eat and how much, he cant even so much as get near a computer or phone without someone questioning him. He cant even bring out any of his pokemon bc Lusamine has deemed most of them "too dangerous" to have out all under the pretense of doing it for his safety. The only pokemon he's able to have around him is his Umbreon, and even then, she's given a electric collar that keeps her within the property of the house, so no chance of her running off in the middle of the night or anything. While Lusamine insists that shes not keeping him there against his will, she assures him that he's allowed to leave whenever he'd like. Tho she also warns him that if he leaves, then Lillie will be taking his place. She will not be left with an empty nest. Truth be told Lillie probably would have been the easier choice between the two, she also knows that Gladion would do anything to keep her safe. So using her as leverage is how she keeps control over Gladion.

One day Lusamine casually brings up about the "Reconstruct Project" to Gladion (keeping its details very vague), mentioning its something he could help her with, as she thinks he would be interested, He shuts it down saying that he wants no part of whatever she's doing. Lusamine doesnt prese the issue, only expressing disappointment that he wont even consider her offer, but she wont force him. Rather she doesnt want to force him as she wants him to join her willingly. (Even if "willingly" means she'll force his hand) She needs him for this Project. Gladion may be stubborn, but she is so much worse.

After their initial conversation, things only got a lot worse. While he had few freedoms since all of this has started, those are gone now. He becomes cut off from his Pokemon, from the outside, he hardly has a moment of peace where he doesnt feel like he's being questioned or ordered to do something. He really is like a prisoner in his own home (well, a place he once called that). His sanity is being chipped away at, and it comes down to 2 options. -He can either join onto this Reconstruct project, whatever it is. Not knowing what fate could await him or what Lusamine as planned, but at least he'd have a chance at having some sense of a life back and limited freedom.. -Or he can live the rest of his life as Lusamine's puppet, having no freedom or will of his own (<-which is also another story of its own). His life will practically be on auto pilot, forever chained to Aether but never having a say in anything.

It takes some time but eventually Gladion does break, and asks to join the Reconstruct Project, even tho he still has no idea what it is, but anything is better than the life he is living now.

Lusamine is absolutely delighted by this news! And almost instantly, life then turns around for Gladion. He finally is given back some freedom, if not more than what he had before. He is able to move around his home without question. He gets to eat more and better than he did before, putting on some much needed muscle. He's even getting a chance to walk around outside and around the property without having some kind of chaperone. Lusamine even invites him to join her at Aether to over see some projects that they are working on as well as helping with pokemon there. She lets him join her in outings in town, taking him to eat and so on. She's essentially love bombing him, and he hesitantly accepts. All the while this is going on, he still does not know what this Reconstruct Project is bc he cant seem to find any information on it, like it almost doesnt even exist. Whenever he asks about it, Lusamine either skirts around the question or tells him that then only thing he should be concerned about is being in his best physical condition as possible. She assures him that it'll all be worth it, and shes going to give him what he's always wanted: To be stronger. But in order to that, he's going to need some "upgrades. None of this does well to ease any concerns or fears he has, but he's already gotten this far, and he doesnt want to risk going to how things were before so.. whatever it is, he's in it for better or worse. Gladion undergoes a very extensive surgery, with about 80% of his body being "Reconstructed" (hence the name) from the ground up. Its some time later that he wakes up from a induced coma and when he does the reality of what has happened to him is made clear. He is no longer human, or rather, not completely. His body a patch worked mess, a terrible jigsaw amalgamation of human and (shiny) Silvally. Lusamine delivered on her promise to make him stronger, even if she left out the finer details of it.. So that is the Reconstruct story line, or the start of it anyway. From here the story follows along with Gladion changing his name to "Reconstruct" as he has convinced himself that who he once was is no longer him. That part of him died long before it got to this point. His job is that of a glorified errand boy and protector of Aether. He mostly travels through Ultra Space and to different worlds/time to gather up UBs for Lusamine so that she can create her "perfect world". He travels through the worm holes with the aid of an altered Dusk Mane Solgaleo who has been fitted with pieces of Necrozma Armor, that acts a lot like NULL's inhibitor helmet. While its an odd life and something he would have never imagined for himself. He is still very much tied to Aether, at least in this way he has some sense of purpose and freedom. Tho in his time of traveling he has seen much, including other versions of himself (Gladion) living out lives that he knows he could never have, being with people that he cared about, knowing that he cant ever go back to how things were. He's very lonely, bitter, and jaded at the world and others. He's closed off, quick to anger, and untrusting of others. His only real reason to keep going despite everything thats happened is bc of Lillie, as knowing that at least this way he can still protect her. He is content enough to live the rest of his life like this. Even if he has to do it alone. Trying not to think about what might happened when he finishes his mission.. but, well, life certainly has a way of surprising you. And that is the story! I admit that I am going to be very surprised to know if anyone actually read all of this, but if you did please know you have my many thanks and my apologies 😅