#sorry i cbb tagging the fifty thousand other characters in this story haha

[fictionaryplace]

rumour has it.

bleach || ichigo/orihime, ensemble cast || 6050 words || pg—13 (language, sexual themes) ichigo and orihime have important news, but decide to have a little fun with their friends and family before coming clean. gossip begins, a game of chinese whispers ensues, and their friends try to get to the bottom of the mystery with disastrous consequences.

❝ “Orihime, I am this close to shouting from the rooftop, ‘Suck it, losers! Inoue Orihime is officially off the market!’ and now you’re telling me I have to pretend to break up with you?” ❞

“So who should we call first? Tatsuki? My family?” Ichigo reached for his phone but Orihime stopped him.

“Actually,” she whispered into his ear and he couldn’t stop a shudder running through his body, “I was thinking we could have a little… fun first.” “Well, I was planning on that, too,” Ichigo grinned saucily. “I didn’t mean like that.” She whacked him across the shoulder and he sighed in disappointment. “I mean, of course we can have fun like that, but I meant fun in a different way.” “Like a new position?” he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Ichigo-kun, will you get your mind out of the gutter for one minute, please?” she glared at him accusingly. “Okay, well, I’m really dense, as you know, so I think you’re going to have to spell it out for me.” “I was thinking, instead of just telling people we’re engaged, we should… not.” Ichigo scratched his head. “I’m confused. How would that be fun?” “Well, y’know, we could play around with them for a bit first. Pretend like we’re cooling our relationship off instead.” “I— what? Are you serious?” Ichigo was completely caught off guard. “Orihime, I am this close to shouting from the rooftop, ‘Suck it, losers! Inoue Orihime is officially off the market!’ and now you’re telling me I have to pretend to break up with you?” She coyly played with her hair. “Do you think you’ll have trouble not telling people?” “Uhh, yeah!” She smiled cheekily. “Well, maybe we shouldn’t spend any time with each other until we tell people, then.” “What?” “Maybe on Saturday when Kuchiki-san and Renji-kun come to visit? That way we can tell everyone at once.” “What?” “Well, when do you think we should tell people, then?” “How about now? I don’t want to have to wait a whole week!” She almost laughed at the horrified expression on his face. This was too good; not only was she going to have fun fooling everybody else, she was going to enjoy playing around with Ichigo, too. “Aww, c’mon, Ichigo-kun, this will work perfectly! If you’re going to have trouble keeping it a secret, we won’t spend any time together, and if we don’t spend any time together, people will think we’re taking a break. Perfect!” she patted him on the shoulder as she got up off the bed. “But, wait—” “And we can start right now!” She worked her engagement ring off of her ring, only five minutes after she had put it on, and replaced it back into its box. “I’m going to go home, okay?” “What? You’re not staying the night?” His jaw dropped. If there were any night a guy should get lucky, surely it would be the night he proposed, right? Surely he was right in thinking that. “Really, Ichigo, what kind of message would it send if we spent the night together when we’d broken up?” “But we… but I…” he floundered for words. “Alright, so I’ll see you tomorrow!” She paused for effect. “Maybe.” She kissed him on the cheek chastely before waving goodbye. “Wait, are you serious?” Ichigo only just managed to catch her before she left his apartment and knew from the mischievous grin on her face that she was dead serious about her proposition. He sighed in resignation, “Do you want me to walk you home?” “Now what kind of ex-boyfriend would do that?” she argued playfully before leaving. “The kind who’s still your boyfriend?” Ichigo answered rhetorically before flopping himself onto the couch. It was going to be a long week. Finally out of Ichigo’s presence, Orihime couldn’t contain her laughter anymore. She spent her walk home trying to come up with all the things she could do to him during the week. She was sure Ichigo was going to retaliate once he got over the initial shock and, honestly, she was looking forward to that, too. By the time she reached the apartment she shared with Tatsuki, she had reined in her fit of giggles, but her eyes were still teary and her face was still red from laughing. She could hear laughter coming from inside the apartment once she opened the door, but it trailed off as she stepped into the apartment. “Orihime?” Tatsuki stood up and Keigo and Mizuiro turned to face her. “What… what are you doing here?” Orihime rubbed her eyes for effect as Tatsuki continued. “Uhh, how was your night?” “Big,” Orihime replied simply and saw the three of them quickly exchange a glance. “Good big or bad big?” “Ichigo,” she sighed theatrically, “thought maybe it was time for a change in our relationship.” “A change in your relationship?” Tatsuki repeated, confused. She walked around the couch towards Orihime but stopped short before asking in horror, “Have you been crying?” “You know, I’m kinda tired, I think I’m just going to go to bed.” “Orihime—” “Night,” Orihime interrupted her, feigning weariness before shutting her bedroom door behind herself, grinning. She was not looking forward to spending a week without Ichigo, but finally coming clean on Saturday was going to feel that much sweeter after spending some time apart. Absence made the heart grow fonder, right? And really, since they were going to spend a lifetime (or five) together, one week apart wasn’t going to be the end of the world. She knew it was all her idea but she still couldn’t help thinking her bed sure was cold and lonely without him. Tatsuki was still staring at Orihime’s door. “Uhh, Arisawa-san?” Mizuiro approached her carefully and jumped back in shock as she spun around quickly. “Did you hear what she said?” she hissed. “Yeah, but it’s not the end of the world, right?” Keigo said in an attempt to soothe her but only served to fire her up even more. “Not the end of the world?” she repeated and looked at him in disgust. “Ichigo broke up with her, and you don’t think that’s the end of the world?” “We don’t know that for sure,” Mizuiro tried to reason but she interrupted him. “A change in their relationship? And she comes home this early? In tears? And goes straight to bed?” “Okay, well, when you put it that way…” “I can’t believe Ichigo would do this!” Tatsuki spat out, beginning to pace restlessly. “That jerk, I’m gonna pound him so hard—” “That sounded kinda dirty,” Keigo whispered. “I don’t think that would be very constructive,” Mizuiro chimed in. “I think it would be more productive to talk to him rather than beat him to a pulp. Think about it. I’m sure if we spoke to him, he’d explain everything. And even if it were true, we could convince him to rethink. I mean, we all know they belong together.” “Fine.” Tatsuki abruptly stopped pacing. “You guys go to Ichigo right now and talk some sense into him!” and she practically pushed them out the door. “I call dibs on not talking to him,” Keigo declared on their way home. “What? That’s not fair!” “C’mon, Ichigo will take it easier on you than me, think about all the abuse I’ve had to endure over the years. I’ve even bought a cup to protect myself.” “That’s because you antagonise him. Besides, why do you think he’ll get violent?” “Seriously? Ichigo does not like to talk about his feelings to anyone besides Inoue-san, and we’re going out of our way to do it? Please, it’s going to get violent.” “He’ll just walk away if he doesn’t want to talk about it,” Mizuiro argued as they entered their apartment. “Hey, Ichigo, you here?” “What?” came the irritated reply from the couch. “Uhh, how was your night?” Keigo ventured closer cautiously, repeating the question Tatsuki had asked Orihime earlier that evening. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Ichigo muttered. “Well we do,” Mizuiro started and Keigo whispered agitatedly, “Wait, let me get my cup first!” Mizuiro elbowed him in the stomach before continuing, “We were over at Arisawa-san’s apartment tonight and Inoue-san came home, but she was quite… upset. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” Ichigo grunted in response. “Ichigo—” “I’m going to bed.” He stood abruptly and Keigo covered his groin out of reflex. “Ichigo,” Mizuiro said more firmly but Ichigo continued walking towards his bedroom. “Did you break up with her?” “What part,” Ichigo muttered through gritted teeth, “of ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ don’t you guys understand?” “Ichigo!” they both exclaimed but Ichigo simply slammed the door in response. After a moment’s silence, Keigo spoke. “I call dibs on not telling Arisawa.” Ichigo awoke the next morning in a much better mood than he’d gone to sleep in. He realised that Orihime was only doing this to have a little fun with their friends and not to upset him; that this was like her last hurrah before settling down with him. Not that she was going to play around with other guys, or even toy with their feelings; the mere idea was ludicrous because Orihime wasn’t that type of person. It might actually work out for the better, allowing them to get a little perspective on their relationship before spending the rest of their lives together. Not that he needed it; he knew how lucky he was to be with someone like her. He walked into the kitchen for breakfast and noticed that Keigo and Mizuiro were regarding him warily. “Morning…” they murmured. “Morning,” he replied cheerfully. “Sorry about last night, guys. I was just in a bad mood after what happened.” “Oh, yeah, that’s okay.” Mizuiro paused. “So what did happen last night?” “What did Orihime tell you?” Ichigo asked over his glass of orange juice, not wanting to contradict anything she might’ve said. “Just that you said you wanted a change in your relationship.” ‘Brilliant wording, Orihime,’ Ichigo thought. “Well, that’s true. I wanted a change.” He caught their shared look of concern and quickly hid his head in the fridge to hide his smirk. “Seriously, Ichigo? I mean, this is Inoue-san. She’s… Inoue-san, I don’t think you're going to find someone else out there better for you.” “Well, how do I know that? I’ve only ever been with her,” Ichigo reasoned. “B-But that’s one of the things that’s great about you guys!” Keigo argued. “Aren’t you even worried about how she’s taking it? I mean, she was crying. You know how important you are to her, right?” “Look, we needed a change, guys. You might not agree, but you weren’t in the relationship so you can’t know what’s going on, and you can’t know what direction we were heading in.” Ichigo—” “Just… just leave it, okay, guys? Believe me, I did the best thing for us,” Ichigo said, a note of finality in his voice. “Have you thought about how Arisawa-san is going to take this?” ‘Oh, crap.’ Ichigo almost slapped his forehead in realisation. ‘Tatsuki’s going to skin me alive!’ After Ichigo didn’t respond, Keigo patted him on the shoulder. “I have a cup if you want to borrow it.” “Somehow I don’t think a cup is going to help with whatever she’s going to do.” Ichigo had to agree. He hoped he made it to Saturday to tell everyone the good news. With a rabid Tatsuki on the loose, he wasn’t sure he would. Orihime had awoken that morning shivering. One night and she already missed Ichigo’s body heat! She was heading towards the shops with Tatsuki who had been walking on eggshells with her all morning, treating her like she was a bomb ready to explode, when Ichigo suddenly appeared before them, Keigo and Mizuiro in tow. “Orihime…” Tatsuki took her hand. “I’m fine,” she said quietly. “We should go say hello.” “I can punch him,” Tatsuki volunteered but the boys headed towards them before Orihime could give her consent. “Hey, Arisawa-san, Inoue-san,” Mizuiro greeted them, watching Ichigo out of the corner of his eye. In fact, all three of them were watching Ichigo and Orihime closely. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Hey, Tatsuki. Hey, Inoue.” Their jaws dropped. Orihime blinked. Inoue? “Hello, Kurosaki-kun,” she replied coldly. The name felt foreign on her tongue, she had not used it in so long. “I’m heading off,” he said shortly and, without another word, he turned on his heel and walked away. Orihime could feel all their eyes on her and barely heard their words of consolation. The coldness she had felt this morning was nothing compared to the chill suddenly going through her veins. She felt like she had been walking around in a fog that morning. Was Ichigo seriously mad at her? She was sure that he would treat this like a bit of fun as she was, but now… she wasn’t so sure. Had she really hurt his feelings last night? Surely not; she had accepted his proposal, after all. While Tatsuki was cooking lunch, Orihime texted Ichigo. Are you mad at me? She kept checking her phone during lunch. Under normal circumstances, Tatsuki would’ve yelled at her for being so distracted, but after the events of the last day, Tatsuki didn’t have the heart to. Ichigo always replied straight away, he always picked up her calls. After an hour, he had still not responded and she was ready to phone him and call the whole thing off when her phone beeped. She quickly muttered a feeble excuse to Tatsuki and, once she was in the safety of her room, she flicked her phone open. What’s wrong, Inoue-san? You can dish it, but can’t take it? Are you ready to call this thing off? I’ve got a ladder to shout from the rooftops and your ring in my drawer. Plus, you owe me the type of fun I wanted. She almost laughed in relief. He had not only come clean about joking, but he’d called her ‘Inoue-san’, something he only ever did when he was making fun of her. She quickly typed in her reply. As if, Kurosaki-kun. The only way I’ll call this off is if you beg, something you should practise, future husband, just so you know. Happy wife, happy life. He responded almost immediately. You think I’m going to be the one begging? Please, Inoue-san, you’ll be calling this thing off before the day is out. Don’t you remember that night a couple of months ago? I had you begging within five minutes. Get ready to lose, Kurosaki-kun. Game on, Inoue-san. Game on. “This is serious,” Ishida mused over his coffee. Chad nodded silently in agreement. “Gee, what gave you that idea?” Tatsuki asked sarcastically. “What are we going to do?” Keigo asked in a panic. “They’re seriously going to break up if we don’t do something!” “I tried talking to Ichigo,” Chad said, “but he just brushed me off.” “I asked Inoue-san if there was anything she wanted to talk about, but she acted like nothing was wrong,” Ishida added. “Wait, “ Tatsuki held up her hand. “She acted like nothing was wrong?” “She’s been upset every time we’ve seen her,” Mizuiro was thoughtful. “Maybe she’s come to terms with the fact that they’ve broken up?” Chad suggested but Tatsuki shook her head. “Orihime’s been in love with Ichigo for years, there’s no way she’d get over him in the space of a day, it’s impossible. Something else is up.” “Well, maybe she’s still upset but, y’know,” Keigo paused, “maybe it’s… that time of the month?” They all stared at him incredulously. “Or not…” he trailed off weakly. “Well, they’ve gone back to addressing each other the way they used to,” Mizuiro said sadly. “I think,” Tatsuki said pensively, “it’s time to call in the cavalry.” “Ichi-nii!” “Onii-chan!” “Hey Karin, Yuzu. How’ve you been?” Ichigo gave them both a quick hug before opening the fridge. He missed Yuzu’s cooking a lot, especially after comparing it to Orihime’s. He had gotten used to her more... eccentric flavours, but he sometimes craved some normality as well. “Good, but high school homework is hard!” “Do you need any help or anything?” he volunteered but both twins waved off his offer. “Nah, we’ll be okay. But why are you here, Ichi-nii?” “I felt like I hadn’t seen you guys in a while, so I dropped by to catch up,” Ichigo lied. Truth was he needed to get out of his apartment; he was sick and tired of all his friends trying to talk him into getting back together with Orihime. After Ishida tried to lecture him, he’d almost punched the guy in the face in frustration but restrained himself, knowing he was only pestering him because of his good intentions. All of them were. “How’s Orihime-chan?” Yuzu asked. Ichigo hesitated. “Uhh, she’s good, yeah.” “You don’t sound sure,” Karin observed. “Is something wrong with her?” “Uhh, we’ve been going through some… stuff lately, that’s all.” “Bad stuff?” Yuzu looked concerned. Ichigo didn’t want to lie to them so he grunted noncommittally. “Just… stuff.” “Wow, that explains everything, Ichi-nii,” Karin said derisively. “C’mon, onii-chan, you can tell us.” Yuzu poked him gently in the arm. “Well,” Ichigo said slowly, “all I can say is that there might be a new member of the Kurosaki family soon.” He let the sentence hang in the air for a moment before he changed the subject. “So, how’s Dad?” The twins shared a look before answering him, making small chit chat until they sent him home with some leftovers for dinner. After they waved Ichigo off, the twins waited for a total of five seconds before they freaked out. “What the hell did Ichi-nii mean?” Karin shook Yuzu by the shoulders. “A new member of the Kurosaki family? I think that only means one thing, Karin-chan!” The twins were nearly hysterical as they exclaimed in unison, “Orihime-chan is pregnant!” Orihime arrived home rather late that night. “Hey!” Tatsuki called. “Just in time, ready to eat?” “I’ve already eaten actually, sorry. I get peckish while I was shopping.” Orihime gestured towards her shopping bags. “What did you buy?” She waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, a little of this, a little of that.” “That’s nice and vague,” Tatsuki laughed. “C’mon, show me! Clothes? Jewellery?” “Some clothes. Something to make myself feel better,” Orihime pulled out a skimpy dark green basque, followed by matching garters and stockings. Tatsuki stared at the outfit blankly and Orihime looked a little disappointed. “You don’t like it?” “No, it’s nice, it suits you.” Tatsuki tried to give her a reassuring smile but it faded as Orihime studied the outfit. “I just thought it would be nice to have now that, well, you know...” Orihime trailed off vaguely. “Guys like this kind of stuff, right?” Tatsuki blinked. “Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, as long as they’re straight, anyway.” “Okay, good! I’m glad I bought it, then. I’m sure I’ll definitely get to wear it soon.” She winked at Tatsuki and she fought to hide a smile as she watched her best friend’s mouth drop open. “I’m gonna change and get some studying done. I’ll talk to you later, Tatsuki-chan!” She shut her bedroom door, leaving a confused Tatsuki in her wake. A small part of her felt a bit cruel messing with her best friend, but she decided it would all be worth it when she and Ichigo spilled the beans and shared their brilliant news on Saturday. Besides, it wasn’t like she and Ichigo were having an easy time pretending to have broken up. Although, she thought cheekily as she changed into her new outfit and opened the camera on her phone, she could still mess around with his head. It might’ve been a different kind of fun to the one she was used to having with Ichigo, but it was just as enjoyable. Well, almost, anyway. Ichigo stared blankly at his phone screen. It really didn’t matter how long they had been together, seeing Orihime’s perfect alabaster skin always did something to him. Especially when it was covered in lace. And silk. And holy shit, she looked amazing in knee-high stockings. He was content to stare at the image of his gorgeous fiancée in sexy lingerie draped seductively across her bed all night, especially since he wouldn’t be seeing her like that until the weekend, but his phone vibrated as he received a second message from her. ‘Please, please, let it be another sexy picture.’ Ichigo was disappointed to see that Orihime hadn’t decided to have mercy on him by flooding his inbox with sexy images of herself. I hope this serves as ample incentive for you to practise your begging skills, Kurosaki-kun. Ichigo groaned. She just had to use the word ‘ample’, didn’t she? Oh, yes, it was definitely ample incentive, his eyes focusing on a particular part of her anatomy that was practically bursting out of her sexy attire. It took a great deal of restraint and effort before he could calmly type out his reply. Better luck next time, Inoue-san. It’ll take more than that to break me. He only had to wait two minutes for her response, another text message with an image attachment. More, Kurosaki-kun? Or less? He hadn’t sufficiently recovered from the first picture to handle her second: she had unlaced the bodice on the basque, providing him with an even better view of her bust, and struck an even sexier pose. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but she had truly outdone herself. Fuck, this was really going to be a long week. “I call to order this emergency meeting!” Tatsuki knocked smartly on the wooden dining table, glancing around the room to ensure she had everyone’s full attention. The past few days had been beyond bizarre for everyone. Watching Ichigo and Orihime revert to a stage in their friendship where… well, to be honest, Ichigo and Orihime had never treated each other the way they were at the moment. Not only had they returned to using each other’s surnames, they practically ignored one another. According to the boys, Ichigo had apparently flat out refused to go to dinner one night because he ‘couldn’t stand to be near Inoue’. Desperate times called for desperate measures. “Is this about Ichi-nii?” Karin asked, noticing her brother and Orihime’s absence. “Yes, specifically about what’s been happening between him and Orihime.” Tatsuki began to sit, but stopped at the squeal from Yuzu. “Oh, isn’t it fantastic news?” Yuzu clasped her hands together in pure delight while Karin nodded along enthusiastically. “I’m so excited!” “No one could be more thrilled than I!” boomed Isshin gleefully. Tatsuki, Ishida, Chad, Mizuiro and Keigo looked at the Kurosaki family as if they turned into Hollows: in abject shock and horror. “You’re happy about what’s happening?” Tatsuki asked incredulously. Isshin couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Well, why wouldn’t we be?” “I-I thought you liked Orihime!” “Of course I do! I love her, she’s perfect for Ichigo!” “I’m so confused,” Keigo whispered to Mizuiro. “For once,” his friend responded, “you’re not the only one.” “What are we discussing?” Yuzu did not seem to notice the confusion radiating from her brother’s friends. “Are we talking about what present we should get for them?” “A present?” they chorused in unison. Ichigo had always told them how wacky his family were; his friends were finally starting to understand what he’d been talking about all these years. “Well, isn’t that normal?” Karin chimed in. “I have never heard of a breaking-up-present tradition before,” muttered Ishida. Suddenly, the grins disappeared from the faces of all members of the Kurosaki family. “A what present?” “A present after a couple has broken up? The mere notion of it is ridiculous to me,” Ishida stated, adjusting his glasses. “Broken up? Who’s broken up?” Yuzu gasped. “You think Onii-chan and Orihime-chan have? They haven’t broken up, they—” “They have!” Keigo interjected. “They had a fight last Saturday night and they’ve barely spoken all week! It’s why we wanted to see you; you’re Ichigo’s family, we thought for sure you’d want to help us get them back together!” “But you seem to be thrilled about it,” Tatsuki couldn’t keep the confusion out of her voice, “and you’re talking about buying them presents…” Karin stood up. “They haven’t broken up! Orihime-chan is pregnant!” Dead silence. “WHAT???” She could feel all the boys’ eyes on her as she stomped home. “Arisawa-san,” Mizuiro said slowly, “I can understand why you’re angry, but maybe we should—” “ANGRY?” Tatsuki whipped her head around and all the boys reflexively took two steps back. “I’m not angry, I’m livid! The nerve of that… that…” she searched for a word that was vicious enough to sum up how she was feeling. “Bastard?” Keigo suggested. “BASTARD!” Tatsuki nodded vehemently in agreement. “I cannot believe Ichigo would knock Orihime up and then dump her like a tonne of bricks. I mean, can you?” “No, I can’t,” Mizuiro said calmly, “which is why I think we should handle this delicately. It’s possible that Ichigo has some reason for his behaviour—” “No reason is good enough,” Tatsuki spat. “I concur,” Ishida nodded. “Well, no, I don’t think so, either,” Mizuiro conceded, “but we should at least give him a chance to explain himself before we tear him apart.” “Maybe he didn’t know she was pregnant,” Keigo proposed. “‘There might be a new member of the Kurosaki family soon’, that’s what the twins said he said, so he has to know.” “Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot.” Keigo scratched his head awkwardly as the group realised they had reached Tatsuki and Orihime’s apartment. “Why don’t you try talking to Inoue-san about it?” Ishida suggested. “Fine,” Tatsuki huffed. “But there is one thing I promise you: if it’s all true, there’s no way in hell that baby is going to have Kurosaki as their last name!” The boys watched as she stalked up the stairs and heard the door slam shut behind her once she’d reached her apartment. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared for Ichigo’s life than I am right now,” Keigo muttered. The others quietly agreed. Orihime heard the front door open and shut rather violently. She waited anxiously as loud and heavy footsteps quickly approached her door before there was a long pause and, finally, three soft knocks on her door. “C-Come in!” she called. Given her entrance into their apartment, the sight of a timid Tatsuki at her door was jarring. “Are you feeling okay, Tatsuki-chan? You came in so energetically and now you’re so quiet!” Tatsuki’s eye twitched. “I was angry when I came in, but I don’t want to take it out on you.” “… You’re not angry with me, are you?” “Of course not! To be honest, though, I’m about ready to castrate Ichigo.” Orihime’s eyes widened in alarm at the idea of castration. “Whatever Ichi—, I mean, Kurosaki-kun did, I’m sure he didn’t mean it—!” “Oh, yes, he did!” Tatsuki closed the distance between herself and Orihime with three long strides across the room and glared sharply at her best friend. “I don’t want you to lie to me anymore, Orihime. Is there something about you and Ichigo that you’re hiding from me? From all of us?” Tatsuki watched with narrowed eyes as Orihime cast her eyes downwards, staring at the material of her singlet over her taut stomach before flattening it with both of her hands in a nervous gesture. “I-I can’t think of anything,” Orihime whispered. Tatsuki ground her teeth, she was so frustrated that could scream. Wasn’t she the one Orihime always talked to about huge events in her life? Why was she blatantly lying to her now? Ichigo. It all came down to that stupid boy, the one who had broken Orihime’s heart and walked away. Not to mention the fact that he had also left her saddled with a life-long responsibility for her to deal with all alone! “You’re lying, Orihime,” Tatsuki hissed once she had calmed down slightly. “I know you are. We spoke to Karin and Yuzu and they said Ichigo had told them that there was going to be a new member of the Kurosaki family soon.” Orihime’s head shot up, eyes wide. “So it’s true? You’re…” Tatsuki could bring herself to say the word. ‘Oh well, it was fun while it lasted,’ Orihime thought. Her little prank was over, although, to be completely honest with herself, she was quite relieved. She couldn’t wait until she could finally spend some time with her fiancée. She smiled at the thought. ‘Fiancée. Ichigo is my fiancée.’ “Y-Yes, it’s true,” she finally whispered, her smile still firmly in place. Surprisingly, Tatsuki didn’t hug her or shout for joy. She spun around hastily and stalked out of the room towards the front door. “T-Tatsuki-chan? Where are you going?” “TO CASTRATE ICHIGO!” Tatsuki roared over her shoulder. Orihime stumbled, practically tripping over herself to chase after her. “What? Why? You can’t! If you do, then we can’t—” Orihime stopped. The end of that sentence was a little embarrassing to be shouting out loud. “You can’t what? Make more little babies to add to the Kurosaki family?” ‘More babies? What was Tatsuki-chan going on about?’ While giving chase, Orihime thought about the past few days from her best friend’s perspective. She had come home in tears and been practically ignoring her boyfriend and he had been doing the same. That was according to the plan to make it look like they had broken up. But if Ichigo had said what she said he said to his sisters, and it looked like he and Orihime had broken up, then that would mean Tatsuki would think… Uh oh. Ichigo was reclining lazily across the couch when Mizuiro and Keigo returned home. Little did he know hell was about to rain down on him in the form of an infuriated Arisawa Tatsuki. “Ichigo,” Mizuiro said seriously, his tone enough to make Ichigo crack an eye open. “We need to talk. Right now.” “And don’t lie. Your life could depend on it,” Keigo added. Ichigo rolled his eyes. “My life? What the hell are you guys on about?” “We just spoke to your family about something you said to them, about you and Inoue-san. Something about there being a new member of the Kurosaki family?” At Mizuiro’s words, Ichigo slowly sat himself up. “Uhh, yeah, I said that,” he admitted, still unsure about where the conversation was going. “So what?” “What did you mean by that?” the boys asked in unison. “What did I mean? What does it sound like I meant?” But Ichigo never found out what they thought he meant. The front door to their apartment was thrown off its hinges when a fuming Arisawa Tatsuki burst through the doorway, a panicky Inoue Orihime close behind, still trying to talk some sense into her. Her frenzied eyes scanned the apartment before finally finding the flabbergasted form of Kurosaki Ichigo. “Tatsuki, what the hell do you think—” And suddenly she was on him. She almost flew across the room, propelled by her outrage, until she kneed him in the stomach and punched him in the face. “Me? ME? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” “TATSUKI-CHAN!” Orihime’s desperate cry fell on deaf ears. She was almost sobbing, her hands frantically trying to stop her best friend from killing her fiancée. “What? Tatsu—” Ichigo couldn’t finish his sentence as Tatsuki kneed him again. Except her knee connected with something far more delicate than his stomach. “Ooooh,” Mizuiro and Keigo winced. “Tatsuki-chan, please, please, you have to stop,” Orihime begged. “There’s been a huge misunderstand—” “What’s going on here?” Karin’s voice called clearly from the open doorway, her eyes taking in the broken door and the scuffle in the living room. Her sister and father stood directly behind her, Ishida and Chad behind them. The sudden fluctuation in Orihime and Ichigo’s reiatsu had them fearing the worst and, as they watched the violent scene before them unfold, they realised the sense of trepidation they felt was definitely justified. “Onii-chan! Are you okay?” Yuzu began to hurry over to her brother who was currently doubled over on the carpet, when her father’s arm blocked her path. “Dad, what are you—?” “You’ll just get hurt yourself if you go in, I don’t think Tatsuki-chan is in a very reasonable mood at the moment.” “Oji-san?” Isshin turned around to face Rukia and Renji, both of whom were looking completely surprised to see him there. “What are you doing here?” “Rukia-chan! You’re here early! Oh, umm, there’s a bit of drama here at the moment. Best to stay out of the way,” he recommended as the two shinigami craned their necks to see the scene inside. “What did Ichigo do to get Arisawa so upset?” Renji asked, trying to hold back his laughter. “He got Orihime-chan pregnant!” Isshin failed in hiding his delight. “HE WHAT???” “I WHAT?” Ichigo gasped from the floor. Tatsuki heaved Ichigo up by the collar of his shirt and he winced, preparing himself for another attack. Then Tatsuki felt Orihime suddenly release her arm and she turned to see her dash into Ichigo’s room. “Orihime! Where are you going?” Orihime didn’t have the time or energy left to reply. Half blinded by her tears, Orihime rummaged through Ichigo’s dresser drawer before her hand closed around a velvet box. Flicking it open, she retrieved the diamond ring from inside and quickly slipped it onto her left ring finger. She hurried back out and held her hand up for all to see. “I’m the new member of the Kurosaki family! We just… we wanted to tell you altogether... to surprise you!” There was silence in the room except for Orihime’s sobs. Tatsuki’s grasp relaxed, releasing Ichigo’s shirt and allowing him to crumple into a heap on the floor. “Surprise,” he moaned weakly. “Kanpai!” Once the air had been cleared and the true story revealed, the Kurosaki family’s delight was unanimously felt by all. Tatsuki also felt a sense of relief knowing that her best friend wasn’t pregnant and that she wasn’t going to have to raise a baby on her own. It was hard to compete with Ichigo’s relief from being spared a castration by her hands, though. Orihime was in no doubt that she would’ve gone through with it if she could’ve. “Why did you guys pretend to break up, though?” Keigo asked curiously. “Couldn’t you just have not told us and acted normally so we wouldn’t freak out?” “But where would be the fun in that?” Orihime winked. “Speaking of fun,” Isshin chimed in, “I daresay these two are overdue for some!” A pregnant pause, then, “EWWWWW!” everyone chorused. “Dad, did you really have to say that?” Ichigo sighed as Orihime laughed into his shoulder. “Don’t say you weren’t thinking the same thing, son!” Isshin waggled his finger at his son accusingly. “Nor you, Orihime-chan!” Orihime’s mouth dropped open in shock as all attention was now focused on her. “If my son has inherited my talents, I’d say the act of love-making is enjoyable for you, too!” Both of them were beet red, Orihime from embarrassment, Ichigo from suppressed anger. “Okay, that’s it! OUT!” Although Ichigo was only talking to his father, everyone else stood from their seats and hurried to escape the apartment through the newly repaired door. Ichigo slammed the door shut behind them, but could still hear his father call, “I’m looking forward to even more members of the Kurosaki family!” Ichigo groaned and thumped his head against the door. Orihime’s arms snaked around his torso and her lips pressed against the back of his neck tenderly. “Are you still hurt anywhere?” she hummed. “Does my pride count?” Her body vibrated with laughter and he admitted easily, “I missed you.” He felt her smile against his skin. “I missed you, too,” she murmured. He gently grasped her fingers in his and whirled himself around, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. “Can I finally shout from the rooftops that you’re off the market?” “You could,” she smiled prettily, “oooor…” she tugged on his hands, pulling him towards his bedroom and he smirked, “we could have some fun first.” “Fun,” he grinned cheekily. “Fun first sounds good.”