#sorry i am SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS ALL OF THE TIME

[gay-dorito-dust]

Ok, it was basically a request where the batboys brought their significant other as their date to a gala for the first time, they leave for a second (to get drinks or go to the bathroom or something to that end) and when they come back the see their S/O being harassed by a group of socialite women that keep talking about how they can’t believe someone like the batboy is with such a plain little nobody. That was the gist of it. Sorry 😣

I kinda made Tim’s as bit different than requested, but I couldn’t help but see him grill an entire household and their business ventures. Then again I kinda took creative liberties with all of them.

Dick

Is the type to put on an extremely strained smile across his face as he puts his arm over your shoulders.

‘What’s wrong my love, why the saddened face?’ He asks you sweetly, intentionally ignoring the rich and powerful in front of you both.

‘Oh don’t worry yourself with…that thing dear Richard, they’re too emotional to be in a room with people they could only dream of being in the presence of. I wouldn’t get so close to it if I were you, you might catch their filth.’ One of them sneered and Dick’s jaw tensed in agitation as his eyes remained on you.

‘Do you wanna leave?’ He says in a whisper as he wipes a tear away from your cheek, lightly pinching it in hopes of seeing you smile at him.

‘Yes please, I want to go home and be with Hayley.’ You whispered back, griping his arms tightly, thankful that his body blocked out the rich people that were berating you. Dick’s face softened as he kissed the top of your head, hoping of giving you some form of comfort in your time of distress, before looking back at the rich people with a faux grin.

‘If you please excuse us, my lovely sweetheart, my beloved cutie and my forever lover wishes to leave this drab place and who am I to deny my love of her wishes, for I shall wait on them hand and for forever if it pleases them so because between you and me?’ He then leans close to them. ‘You don’t have the heart to sacrifice everything for the one you love, if you even have hearts in the first place. You posses no freedom and no personality whatsoever for anyone to love nor adore, them however?’ He points towards you as you look at him with a small smile, a smile so sweet that Dick couldn’t help but smile back.

‘They are my everything. I couldn’t think about living without them, not when they’ve don’t nothing but be kind and respectful of me and my time. I don’t deserve them but neither does this city, they’re an angel in human skin that I wish to worship as long as they’ll let me.’ You could feel your cheeks burn at his words as your smiles widened at the twinkle of love within his gorgeous eyes. Dick had a way with words unlike any other and despite being on the receiving end of them for a while now, you still find yourself becoming alight with emotions because of him.

‘So if you’ll excuse me kindly.’ Dick says as he takes your hand and walks you both out of the door where he stops to look at you with concern.

‘I am so sorry you had to deal with them, apparently money makes someone feel entitled to speaking on someone else’s relationship.’ Dick spat as he glared at the grand double doors and you touched his cheek, making him melt into your touch, kissing your palm.

‘It’s okay Dickie bird, let’s just forget this night and go home, get out of these clothes and into some comfy pyjamas and cuddle on the couch as we watch soaps.’ You say as you attempt to calm him down from his passionate outburst and declaration of love, which seems to work as Dick’s eyes twinkled with excitement.

‘Can we wear the matching pyjamas that I got us and Hayley?’ He asks and you couldn’t help but kiss his lip, finding him too adorable in this moment in time, which is something of a occurrence as you’d soon find as you reflect back on your relationship. ‘Of course my sweetie, of course we can wear matching pyjamas.’ You replied and Dick cheered as he leaned to kiss you fully on the lip, his happiness having been contagious as you smiled into the kiss.

Damian

Wishes Bruce didn’t confiscate the sword from him.

He’s the type who can silence anyone with a single fucking glare. So when he sees that you, his beloved, was being harassed by the elitist snobs.

He’s quick to step in and start berating them himself, all dignity and respect has gone out the window for these cretins don’t deserve an ounce of it as far as he was aware. ‘I don’t believe that my relationships are your concern,’ he begins, ‘you’re not kin and thus should’ve learned at an early age that not every topic of interest requires your out of touch input.’

‘Wha-‘ they tried to say but Damian was back on them with another verbal assault.

‘Also I could hear you from across the room, didn’t your parents or paid teacher teach you about volume control? or did they get paid extra to not say a thing in fear your fragile little ego gets crushed under the harsh truth?’ Damian then spits out as he feels you clinging onto his back, which only fuels his need to berate these vile people as karma.

Damian would be their karma if it was the last thing he did.

The rich people chocked on air, not knowing what to say as it was hard to do so when Damian was staring them down, wanting them to say something, anything so that he could verbally beat them down until they submit. He lives for a verbal spat but unfortunately the people whom he’s up against have never had to fight for their honour and dignity, they just paid people to shut up or have people who encourage their pathetic, self entitled behaviour.

‘Enough, don’t hurt yourself trying to think with whatever’s behind those pompous eyes of yours.’ Damian sneered as he looks to you with a soft look. ‘Let’s go my beloved, I have already informed my father of the situation and has Alfred come pick us up to take us back to the manor.’ He says softly as he takes your hand in his as you both began walking away form the group of gobsmacked rich folks, a sight to behold truly as those entitled Individuals love nothing more then the sound of their own voice.

‘Why’d you do that?’ You asked and Damian looked at you as though you grew a second head.

‘Do what? Defend your honour, is that not what a lover is meant to do?’ He says with a raised brow and you couldn’t help but feel a little silly, of course Damian would defend your honour to the death but still insecurities tend to make you forget his undying loyalty.

‘You’re right I’m sorry, I’m just being a little stupid.’ You replied as you downcast your eyes to the floor and Damian stopped to lift your head up by your chin as his emerald eyes glint with concern. ‘Do not heed their words my treasure, for they lack a love that isn’t in due to money. Ours is genuine, if there’s anyone who has to fear for our relationship it is me for I am not the easiest to deal with at times.’ Damian admits as he lets go of your chin.

‘That’s not true.’ You retorted, holding his cheek in your free hand, caressing his cheek. ‘You’re perfect the way you are! A work in progress in being even more beautiful than before and I’m happy to be by your side and watch you grow into an amazing person dami.’ You add as you kiss his cheek, making him smile softly as he rubs against your hand.

‘See, this is what I’m talking about.’ Damian says softly. ‘You are perfection, a being beyond words and I’d be a fool if I didn’t treasure you entirely.’

Jason

That’s it, you’re leaving.

Jason tried to be civil but it’s hard to be civil with out of touch, tone deaf, Botox having, plastic surgery abusing, elite snobs that couldn’t fucking lace their own shoes because their filthy money had that be someone else’s job.

He’s not fucking staying and neither are you to deal with verbal abuse by people who single handedly have run Gotham into the ground with their shady tactics, personally funding the corrupt police officers, police officers that dare spout words like ‘protect and serve’ as though they know the meaning of the fucking word.

He’s marching over to you and grabbing your hand, intertwining your fingers together as he’s walking you both out of the room, leaving the elites to talk amongst themselves as he guided you outside where thankfully no elite snob can eavesdrop on either of you.

‘Are you okay?’ He asks you as he holds your face between his hands.

‘No… I want to go home.’ You admitted, their words cutting deeper than you’d ever think imaginable.

Jason felt anger flowing through his veins but he knew that you needed him more then ever at this moment, so shouting at some elite snobs can wait for another day, you were his highest priority as he brought you into his chest and kissing your head. ‘Then we’re going home.’ He says with certainty.

‘What about Bruce?’ You asked, looking at him with tearful eyes, not wanting their relationship to fracture just as it was slowly starting to mend.

Jason shrugged, uncaring of what the old man would think, you got insulted and he wasn’t going to let it slide in the slightest. ‘Fuck Bruce, you’re what matters to me.’ Jason says as he kisses your nose, cheeks and lips softly before resting his head against yours. ‘Now let’s ditch this place and go get ourselves some burgers, how does that sound chipmunk?’

You chuckled. ‘Can we get some fries too.’

‘Of course we can, whatever my sweetheart desires.’ Jason replies as he takes your hand again, this time leading you both out of the grand building in a quest to satiate your feelings with the most greasiest of foods.

Tim

Has the most dirt on the elite in my eyes.

Every scandal, every controversy, every crime they’ve committed and gotten away with by covering it up. He has a file as thick as a book on them and he’s not afraid to use it.

And needless to say that the idea to destroy their reputation was more then tempting then ever when he sees that your being harassed. So when he confronts them on their behaviour, he gets really cryptic about how much he actually knows about these people to such an intimate level.

‘I know what you did.’ He’d say.

‘What are you on about?’ They’d ask, thinking this was all a bit to make them laugh.

‘Friday 12th, 12:55am. The incident that cost workers their lives, families whom of which you’ve failed to compensate for who are now threatening to take you to court before you dealt with them in hush money. All just so it doesn’t leak to the press that you knew what you were dealing with was highly unstable and willingly let those workers in unstable and dangerous working conditions.m Tim watches as their faces drop, preparation visible on their foreheads and he continues on, feeling you squeeze his arm.

‘Only to end up illegally selling the product to unground crime syndicates to make ends meet in due to how much money you’ve initially lost.’ Tim then says in response, watched as their faces become unsettlingly pale as they excuse themselves while exiting the room.

He’ll say or this or just say ‘they are after what they’re owed.’ And leave it at that.

Once he’s satisfied that he’s silenced them and damaged their egos, he looks to you with concerned eyes. ‘Are you okay lovely?’ He asks you as he sees just how small you’ve made yourself because of them.

‘I’m fine Tim thanks to you.’ You said as you hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek as he pats your back before rubbing it soothingly. ‘ I thought they wouldn’t shut up, or follow me whether I went just to degrade me for walking or whether else they could degrade me for.’ You add as you burrowed your head into his neck, wanting to forget this had ever happened.

‘All you need to remember is that they’re more flawed and easier to expose, you however,’ Tim kisses your temple, tightening his hold, ‘are more then they could ever comprehend and have more heart and soul then they do and I couldn’t be prouder to be your partner. Thank you for choosing me.’ He finished.

‘I’d choose you every time Tim.’ You replied.

‘Then expect me to do the same bedside there’s no one else I’d rather have them you.’ Tim promised as you stayed in this embrace for a good while before deciding to leave and watch your favourite show on his laptop for comfort.

[deadhands69]

Ramen & Rain

Katsuki Bakugo x gn Reader

Ramen Date

just a weird fluff Bakugo fic mostly written at 3am. not quite the direction it was intended to go but it still ends ish as planned. mentions of angst, turns into fluff.

“Sorry for your breakup,” you say to the messy haired blonde seated next to you at the hero rankings after-party, “are you doing okay?”

“Huh?” he grumbled before remembering the bullshit his PR team spun earlier that week. 

“Oh, that.” He sits uncomfortably, staring down the tablecloth at the tiny high top the two of you were perched at. “Um, that was fake.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, my PR team thinks it’ll humanize me to date likable people so they have me take models and whatever on dates.” He pauses, considering if he’d like to tell you the next part, “and a few times they also did this when I was photographed with one night stands. I guess that’s not so likable either or something,” he mumbles down at his lap.  

Your thoughts flash back to every headline you’d read about pro-hero Dynamite’s intriguing love life. Much to his team’s credit, you did fall for it.

“So, you haven’t actually dated any of those girls in the pictures?�� 

“Nope,” his finishes his drink, hoping the glass blocked at least some of his blushing face.

“Have you dated anyone?”

“Have you?” he retorts, barely able to make eye contact.

Please say no, he hopes. 

He tried to ask you out once, in your second year of high school together. But he was going through some things. And you are you. He couldn’t imagine you being interested in anything but perfect when it’s what you deserve. One day, he figured, he could give you that. So he waited.

And of course you had no idea he liked you. Not when his way of showing it was hitting you harder while sparing, having higher expectations of you than everyone else, and exploding at you every time you so much as glanced at him (because he thought you caught him staring.)

“Well, there was Shouto in high school,” you begin.

Of course Bakugo knows about this, he hated it. 

You and Shouto had been best friends since halfway through your first year. So, it didn't surprise too many people in your third year when he asked you to go out with him. Of course you had a massive crush on him for years at that point. He's beautiful, who in your class hadn't been into him?

And it was… Cute. 

While it lasted. 

You held hands. He walked you to class. The two of you always had meals together, but it felt different once you were officially together. You never kissed or anything but that's okay, it was new. 

Exactly nine days and four hours is when it all came crashing down. 

Feeling worked after training, you went to bed early. You'd meet up with your boyfriend in the morning. No big deal. 

Little did you know, your puppy love relationship was falling apart before your head even hit the pillow. 

“Hey, Icy Hot! What are you doing checking out Ponytail when you're already dating the hottest person in our class?” Bakugo berated Todoroki. 

Confused, he responded as bluntly as he ever did, “but y/n isn't the hottest one in our class. Momo is.”

Katsuki’s red eyes pierced through him, clearly he was missing something. 

“Wait, are you not dating y/n??”

“No, I am.”

“...then what the fuck.”

After much back and forth, it came out that Iida told Todoroki everyone should aspire to date their best friend. He took that to heart and asked you out without considering if he like liked you. 

He didn't. 

And he told you that the next morning.

It’s not Shouto’s fault his comprehension of human emotion is so limited. This didn’t make being broken up with by him any easier though. Everything was matter of fact, no sugar coating. 

“Thanks for letting me know,” you mumbled to your feet, trying to think of any excuse to leave and save yourself the embarrassment of bursting into tears in front of your classmates. His mismatched eyes stared at you, still confused about the whole situation. 

“I have to go finish some homework now, see ya later.” Turning away, you hope you played it off well enough. No one seemed to notice as you walked heavily through the common space with a face made of stone until you reached the elevator. 

Bakugo did though, and he was pissed at Todoroki for fumbling so hard that you got hurt. Their already unstable friendship took a massive hit after that. Eventually, after a lot of adjusting, Katsuki reasoned he could be okay with you dating someone else if it meant you were happy (and they were perfect and checked every single box he decided someone would need to in order to be worthy of you.) This wasn’t it though.

“I don't mean high school. That one didn't count, ” he says, remembering how helpless he felt watching you being heartbroken when you never did anything to deserve it. 

“Okay, well there was…”

The girl you were with for a whole month before discovering she was a villain, just using you because she thought she could get top secret information. She didn’t.

Then there was the guy you met at a coffee shop who stuck around for a while. He thought you were attractive but didn’t want more than sex and wasn’t sure how to bring that up. You being a hero was terrifying to him and he thought you’d stop sleeping with him when you realized that’s all he was there for. You did. 

And Shinsou, who had the most amicable breakup with. He’s nocturnal and you’re well, not quite. After not seeing each other for three weeks, you decided your schedules just weren’t compatible and called it. No media outlets picked up on it since there was nothing to pick up on. 

Bakugo shifts uncomfortably in front of you. Brows furrowed and face unreadable to most. A twinge of jealousy overtakes him. Sure, the two of you haven’t talked much since graduation, but he still has feelings for you. And hearing about all the losers who had a chance when he never did didn’t sit right with him.

On top of that, admittedly, he also feels guilty. Maybe if he'd asked you out all those years ago he could have saved you from this pain. His assumption you’d settle for nothing but perfect had been shattered, leaving him to accept that he shouldn’t have left you craving closeness from anyone but him. He should have been there. 

He’s here now though. At this point in life, he knows he isn’t perfect but he could at least do better than everyone else you mentioned. If you let him.

“You wanna get out of here?” he asks abruptly.

“What?”

“Wanna go somewhere else? The food sucks here, there’s a good ramen shop that’s open late down the street.” 

“You asking me on a date, Dynamite?” you joke.

“Yeah,” he replies dead serious, “I am.”

 Suddenly you’re the one feeling flustered. A date with Katsuki Bakugo? 

After a quick stop at coat check, the two of you are out the door. Running down the marble stairs to the rough sidewalk, his hand lightly around your wrist to guide you. A rain storm earlier left the streets glimmering, neon reflections from the surrounding shops. A few people trickle in and out of businesses in the typically bustling area, but tonight it feels like a ghost town. 

Then you’re there.

He pulls you through an unassuming door. With a quick wave to the person behind the counter, they informally gesture the two of you towards the small seating area. 

Sit wherever.

You slide over the cracked upholstery at a table in the corner. The pink sign lighting up the window casts a glow over his face, the warm color suits him.

When you left your place earlier, you never expected to end up on a date. Especially not here. The location being as much of a surprise as his sudden interest. 

Sure, you always thought he was cute, but you never knew him. He spent all of high school keeping you at arm’s length. Then after, you’ve spent years basing your assumptions about Bakugo off the headlines you’d read. The dates he went on. Always models and idols. Fancy restaurants, valets, and expensive cars.

But this is real.

Across the table, you watch as he slides his suit jacket off. You hadn’t realized how stuffy the atmosphere was earlier until you see him relax, top buttons of his shirt undone and sleeves rolled up. You forgot about the scars.

The woman running the shop approaches to take your order, not bothering to ask him - it appears he gets the same thing every time he comes in. Having been distracted, you quickly pick the first menu item that jumps out to you. She disappears into the kitchen.

“So, what do you want,” he asks, sitting too casually for the depth of the conversation he’s bringing up. He needs to ask though, otherwise how will he know what to do? “You told me what didn’t work but not what you actually wanted in any of that.”

“I guess I haven’t thought about it. I’ve just been working and-”

“Bullshit,” direct, but his tone is playful as he flashes a slightly crooked smile at you.

Two bowls of ramen float through the air to your table - likely the quirk of the woman before. You’re glad for the momentary distraction, giving you time to consider your answer. The food arrived suspiciously fast but with one sip from the oversized spoon, you know it’s amazing. 

“Holy shit,” you exclaim. 

“Like I’d take you somewhere shitty,” he laughs, “still dodging my question?”

“No,” you pause, pulling a piece of bok choy from the bowl while you consider, “not a villain would be nice.”

“Bar’s that low, huh?”

“...and being able to spend time together at least once a week would be good.”

“Only once a week?” he scoffs, “too easy.”

“What about you?”

He says nothing for a while, chasing a green onion around his spicy ramen with his chopsticks.

“This is good,” he mumbles suddenly uncharacteristically shy, “like a real, actual date.”

Looks like you aren’t the only one with lowered standards.

“Too easy,” you smile.

If he told you how serious of a relationship he actually wants with you, he might scare you off. This is a great start though.

Abruptly, he changes the topic to hero work. You compare stories, scars. 

He tells you how he got the small mark on his neck from a villain with a slashing quirk. How he took out a small area of buildings before Bakugo arrived to apprehend him.

You show him a similar scar on your wrist after the same villain escaped prison. 

The evening passes far too quickly.

As he approaches the counter to pay, you don’t miss the exchange between him and the older woman working. She looks overjoyed, saying something while glancing at you in the booth. He smiles awkwardly, his flushed face apparent even in the dim neon lighting.

“Alright, let’s get outta here,” he asserts while grabbing both of your hands to pull you to your feet.

“Can I take you out again?” he asks, as your feet have barely hit the pavement.

“Yeah.”

“Tomorrow night?”

“Perfect.”

more Bakugo: masterlist

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 5

Trigger Warnings: Breaking bones, angst

Deep screams filled the room for over an hour. Chan's bones were being re-broken all over again because his wounds hadn't healed. Y/N could hear Jaehee upstairs snapping his bones and she hated it. It made her angry and emotional. "Make it stop." Y/N cried into Hyunjin's chest who held her tightly. He tried to block out the crunching sounds from upstairs as Minho and Jeongin held Chan down, knowing the alpha would likely fight out of instinct, especially now that they were mated.  "It's nearly done. She's nearly done." Hyunjin whispered in her ear. His hands were wrapped around her ears like a child who was afraid of fireworks. "Hyunjin. You need to go up there." Minho stated as he came down. Hyunjin saw the worried look on Minho's face and let Y/N go. Y/N stood there, tears streaming down her face as she looked at Minho who was whispering to Hyunjin about something to do with burning his wounds. "Come here," Minho called as he opened his arms, allowing the elder to consume her. His scent overwhelmed her. "Let's go and talk." Minho offered, hoping it would distract her but the female wolf was petrified. "No," Y/N whispered as she listened to her alpha's screams. Her ears focused on the horrors that encapsulated his room. She could hear Jeongin telling Hyunjin to blind him. She could hear Jaehee telling Hyunjin to hold him down while Changbin held his legs. She hadn't even noticed her beta in that room. She could hear Jaehee's steady hands on Chan's leg as she made a slow break. Snapping his leg one last time. The sound reminded her of a Christmas cracker. It was a quick painful snap.

Minho picked up Y/N and carried her towards his car. He put her in the front seat before climbing into the driver's side. Y/N didn't understand what was going on but put her seat belt on. "Jaehee needs to stabilise Chan to start the healing process but she can't do it if you're in the house. You two are bound together and she needs Chan to focus, but he won't be able to if he knows you're in the house." Minho explained as he pulled off the driveway to drive down the road. "We're going to pick up Felix and Seungmin, they are at Felix's mum's house," Minho explained. "Felix is at his mum's!" Y/N's eyes went wide as she looked at Minho who nodded, his eyes focused on the road. Y/N realised then she didn't quite know much about their family and if they had a close relationship with them. Chan and Hyunjin were the only two she knew something about. "I'm not angry at you Y/N." Minho blurted out as he drove down a country lane. He wanted to take the longer root so he could talk to her. "I care a lot about you and I always will-" "I am really sorry. I am Min." Y/N interrupted. Minho shook his head, taking one hand off of the steering wheel to squeeze her hand. "I know you are. I forgive you. I do. It. It hurt what you said, but it's in the past. I want to move on from this, but I need you to force me to listen without being hateful." Minho stated. He was honest with his words but he had good intentions. He wanted them to move on together and do better as a couple and as a mate. They both knew their mistakes but they needed to clear the air. Y/N listened to his words and accepted them. She wanted to make him feel more loved which he appreciated without telling her he was massively in love with her. He wasn't ready to tell her yet, but he will. Minho had a plan to confess and he wanted to make it special, but for now, he diverted the conversation, talking about his upbringing. 

Minho was an only child who came from a relatively small pack, it wasn't until he was older that he spent most of his days with the elders, learning how to be one. Minho was never destined to be in a wolf pack, only to uphold the werewolf laws and lores. It was only coincidental that he fell into Chan's pack, through a friend of a friend. Y/N sensed it was more because of Minho not being an alpha that he didn't want to join a pack. Y/N kind of got a snippet into Minho's feelings towards not being an alpha and it bothered him. The elder status allowed him to overpower head alphas and any werewolf but being in a pack slightly restricted him and that's what bothered him. "I'm going back to work as an elder tomorrow," Minho admitted sadly, but their was a hint of excitement in his voice. "What?!" Y/N said, her heart dropping slightly. That meant there would be no one home. What do I do then? Why is everyone leaving me? "I was supposed to go back months ago but you arrived so I postponed it. but don't be upset little wolf, you can come with me so you aren't alone. Once I feel safe enough and vetted the wolves I work with you can come with me." Minho promised as he pulled up to a busy street, beeping the horn slightly.

Y/N watched Seungmin leave the house and jog towards the car with a grin on his face. Minho put the window down so Seungmin could see her. "Hello, beautiful. Omg!" Seungmin gasped, his eyes glowing an amber colour as he looked at Minho who nodded his head. "You're a claimed woman now. " Seungmin said possessively but there was a hint of sex radiating in his voice as he looked at her. He wanted to claim her. His need to mate with her sparked there and then. "Is Felix ready?" Minho asked, pulling the beta out of his thoughts. "Oh. No. He asked if you wanted to come in for a bit." Seungmin pulled open the elder's door, beckoning him out. "Have you told her?" "No. Um." Minho turned towards Y/N awkwardly, "there's something different about Felix's family. I'll explain later but try not to judge them when you go in alright?" "Of course. I won't say anything." Y/N promised she was curious but at the same time wanted to be respectful. Y/N had no reason to judge after what she went through so why would she judge Felix's family? They were important to him so that meant they where important to her.

Y/N out of the car, giving Seungmin a hug first who embraced her, sniffing her neck possessively before taking her hand. They followed Minho in who called out to them letting them know he was there. Y/N followed in and took her shoes off respectfully. Seungmins hand still entwined with hers as they walked into the small kitchen where Felix was laughing with his two sisters. Y/N slightly stumbled back as she caught a whiff of their scent. They were human. Seungmin gave Y/N a squeeze reminding her of what Minho said, but Y/N couldn't help but stare blankly at the two females. "Oh Hi, Minho." A dark brunette-haired woman who looked slightly older than Felix stood up to give Minho a hug. Y/N looked over at Felix whose smile dropped from his face. He didn't look happy about her being there, it was written all over his face. "Who is this? I'm Olivia. This is my sister Rachel." Olivia said with excitement as she gave Y/N a hug throwing her off. Y/N had never been around humans, it made her slightly uncomfortable and agitated, but she was trying her best to be polite. "This is Y/N. She's mine and Minho hyung's girlfriend." Seungmin said quickly as he realised Felix wasn't going to say anything. "Oh. I didn't know. Aish. You should have said something earlier." Olivia gushed, hitting Felix as she looked over at Minho who gave an awkward grin. "It's alright. I told him not to, we didn't know how people would react." Minho said as he pulled Y/N towards him so he could wrap his arms around her waist. Y/N felt the air get heavier and she felt like she was struggling to breathe, but tried to compose herself as her stomach dropped. She felt embarrassed and upset, but also tried to remind herself if they were human they may not even know about werewolves. Still, Y/N couldn't help the disappointing feeling that aroused in her stomach at Felix's ignorance towards her. It hurt but Y/N had to be patient as she was sure there was a good reason for this. She trusted Felix. "You know polyamory is rather popular now, because of that film. Oh. What was that film called." Olivia asked her sister who shrugged her shoulders, clearly not wanting to draw attention to it as Rachel noticed the thick tension that grew in the room. "Still, Felix you should have told me about Seungmin being polyamorous." Olivia chided. "It's not my business what Seungmin and Minho hyung do in their spare time," Felix said plainly, causing Y/N to squeeze Minho's hands. Minho could feel her sadness and wanted to take her back home but he didn't want to be rude as Felix's sisters were so excited. "Well anyway. I'll make us all a drink and you can tell us how you met." Olivia said causing Felix to tense. It was going to be a long afternoon and Y/N had no idea what to even talk about.

Taglist for the iconic readers

@galaxy4489 @reallychaoticwoo @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx

[grimmsbride]

HABITS [ curly / reader ]

when it comes to picking coworkers, curly isn’t the most dependable. but.. the same could be said about keeping his feelings in check.

tags / ex - friends with benefits to lovers(?) | bittersweet | oral sex ( fem. receiving ) | slight praise kink | porn without plot | canon-divergence | chubby coded reader | curly isn’t 100% accurate & i am sorry this is my first time writing for him | curly is lowkey a liar but it’s okay | curly is big ( based off fanart mostly but also game ) | pet names | etc. if i forgot something please alert me.

notes / it has been like.. months since i last posted on tumblr. but i am slowly getting my spark back. this has also been cross posted on archive so if you see it there do not be alarmed. my writing is rusty, so please be nice with criticisms i’m quite sensitive 😭 but please do enjoy <3

“You look like shit.” You murmured softly, eyes carrying up the man’s form. You hadn’t expected anyone to be awake at this hour, let alone outside of their quarters. But whether to your dismay or pleasure someone had joined your little excursion, that someone being your beloved Captain; Curly.

Who looked to be teetering between the land of the dead and living. Bags lined those pretty eyes, a little red— surely from strain. When was the last time he got enough sleep? Was a thought that quickly passed your mind. Regardless you decided against asking, seeing as you were positive he wouldn’t have an answer for you anyway.

The Captain— Curly, allowed the corner of his mouth to lift; a humorous sigh escaping him. “Do I? Hadn’t noticed..”

“And here I thought Mr. Handsome prided himself on his vanity and dignity.”

The man shook his head at your usual flirty remarks, glancing about your own form. He took in the makeshift wrap of blankets you held around your pajama-clad body, noticing your feet covered in slippers. Not the proper attire obviously, but reprimanding you just didn’t seem worth it at the moment.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

You shrugged, eyes shifting away to glance at a wall. “More like didn’t want to. With so much work to be done I rarely get any time to my thoughts.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing.”

“For you.. maybe. I quite enjoy my mind.”

You smiled at the soft chuckle that escaped him, taking the moment to move just a bit closer. Again, your eyes landed upon those dreaded bags; hand rising slowly to his face. You watched as his eyes focused quite quickly, clearly puzzled by your sudden attention. Regardless he didn’t move, instead allowing your palm to press against his cheek— your thumb then moving to trace a bag.

“I’m serious though. It looks like you haven’t gotten sleep in days. Is something wrong?”

A flicker.. just a slight glint, drifted through his gaze. An emotion you couldn’t quite place but didn’t like regardless. You stood silently, watching as his hand rose before your own. Gentle fingers wrapped around your wrist, dragging your hand down his cheek — the abrasion of his facial hair tickling your palm — before pulling it away from him.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about [Name].”

Curly spoke, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. But you knew him. All, too, well. The man could hold water but there were times it spilled over just a little. Even if he didn’t explicitly say it, you knew his concern was something big— something that definitely affected you.

“Captain stuff, huh?” You said slowly, hand pulling away from his own in a dejected fashion. You couldn’t help but feel that way, eyes drifting away almost stubbornly.

“I thought our relationship was above such titles.”

“[Name]—“

You shook your head, Curly clamming up in response. Times like these were exactly why you regretted taking the man up on his offer. The promise of lines not being crossed was a discussion made in the same breath, yet here you were; questioning why exactly your past relations meant little to his decision to be secretive.

But it was just relations.. right? Just sex, a way to blow off steam. People that sleep together with no love shouldn’t act like this anyway.

Your eyes finally lifted from its stubborn gaze on the wall and back to the blonde before you, attempting to seem unfazed by the intense stare he was delivering you.

You forced a smile. “I’m just messing with you, Captain. Lighten up a bit.”

Curly continued to stare before coming close, a single footstep that pressed against the metal beneath the two of you. You nearly forgot how large the male was; broad and tall, staring down at you with those bag lined.. beautiful eyes. He reached over, fingers ghosting the back of your hand for a moment before grabbing it.

This caused you to shiver, eyes widening slowly as you watched the man bring it back to its previous place; right at his cheek. He used his own appendage to assure you cupped his face.

“I know you well enough to know when you’re joking or not, [Name].” Curly spoke lowly, eyes flickering between multiple spots on your face. “Right now.. I don’t want to worry you. It’s something I’ll figure out, but I will let you know soon.. I promise.”

That’s what you hated most about Curly. Even if you were clearly worried about him, he just loved to spin it so he could worry about you. All while easing such worries with the prettiest words. a master of the tongue. In more ways than one.

The flush of warmth that broached your cheeks was hard to ignore, eyes fluttering to the ground as his gaze grew intense. You allowed your thumb to trace his skin, teeth grazing the inside of your cheek. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let such thoughts or feelings resurface. Strictly professional was your own personal mantra.

Yet here you were, holding the cheek of the man you’ve been pining for— desperately wanting to touch more.

And that you did.

Against better judgement, head clear of thinking— you pressed forward, allowing your lips to brush against his own. You felt his breath stutter, body growing still at your bold action. This allowed your eyes to rise, batting thick eyelashes at the man as you spoke:

“Then.. until then, why don’t I take your mind off of it?”

You solidified your words in a single kiss, free hand clutching your blanket that threatened to slip. You felt the hand on your own slowly fall, clearly from shock. You couldn’t blame him. This was going against everything the two of you decided on. Everything the two of you have built since being onboard of this ship.

Even so, you didn’t mind destroying it— nor did your beloved captain.

Large hands slid under your blanket, finding the small of your back. With a pull you were flush against his form, the kiss deepening. Soft lips collided in a gentle battle, that slowly became fierce as time passed. Feelings buried deep began to bubble over, creating that haze that left you breathless. You could only moan as his tongue slid across your lips, effectively parting them. There, Curly took his time to claim your mouth as his once again, coating each and every inch with his saliva.

Your hand slid from his cheek to a large shoulder, gripping him so tightly as your knees began to buckle. Any longer and you were sure you would topple over right then and there.

Desperate for air Curly reluctantly pulled away, staring at that little string that connected the two of you. Heavy breaths escaped you, causing the want developing deep in his stomach to just burn even more. His eyes lifted away from you for a moment, an inner turmoil playing behind his eyes.

He was the Captain. He didn’t have time to play hooky and hook up with an old fling. Curly had duties.. responsibilities and expectations. And yet, as his flicked back to your form; so wanton and palpable— any thought of being the revered Captain of Tulpar escaped quite quickly.

Leaving behind Curly. A man who couldn’t quite help his desires. And a man who wasn’t the best at picking his coworkers.

“Come here.” Curly spoke softly, tugging you close before leaning; slipping his hands under your legs and lifting you easily.

The butterflies in your stomach tumbled and tumbled, threatening to spill from your mouth the moment he stepped towards his room. Effortlessly, as if your body meant completely nothing. Oh how you loved whenever he showed off his strength.

The door slid open routinely, revealing the simple quarters. A bed, desk, and dresser— surely filled with underwear and extra uniforms. The air was cool, perfect yet you couldn’t help but shiver the moment the man laid you across his sheets. A breath caught in your throat as he climbed over you, a hulking mass covering your line of vision only allowing you to see him.

Curly’s hands pressed against the mattress beneath you, leaning down to steal your lips once again. His light beard brushed against your skin, a feeling that caused you to chuckle, a feeling you missed.. feeling. Your hands rose, collecting his face into your palms as you deepened the kiss. Soft smacks of passion passed throughout the room as lips tangled in a secret conversation.

A hand rose from the mattress, treading down your plump form to find the edge of your shirt. His fingers, ever so gentle, slid under the fabric to spread across the span of your warm stomach. You sighed into his mouth, reeling into his touch as it grew higher and higher— soon skimming the bottom of your breasts.

“Curly..don’t tease.” You pulled back to speak, eyes focused on his features. You couldn’t help the pulse between your thighs the moment an impish smile crossed his features.

“I’m not, just.. remembering.”

With his soft murmur Curly was lifting your shirt off your body, placing it somewhere on the bed. Lowering, his breath fanned across your warm skin, gentle kisses pressing against your neck.

You hissed, eyes pinching closed, as your hands lowered to grasp his arms. Your lips parted as a large hand soon covered one of your breasts, gently squeezing whilst his thumb brushed against your hardening nipple.

As much as you wished to beg for more you knew better than to do so. Curly wasn’t a person that rushed when it came to these things. He enjoyed taking his time, building your pleasure bit by bit so when the main event happened you were completely lost in ecstasy. And as annoying as it was to admit, you couldn’t help but love his attention to detail.

The kisses lowered to the valley of your chest, tongue gliding across the hot skin, sliding to your untouched nipple. The man mumbled against your flesh, licking and sucking; delivering such sweet attention you couldn’t help the bated breaths beginning to form.

Should you be worried? The others weren’t close but weren’t far. And you highly doubt any of them would want to be waken by your less than professional “activities”.

Unfortunately, as Curly’s other hand traveled low concern for their sleep slowly drifted away.

You whimpered softly as his hand breached your pants and panties, fingers gliding across your slick slit for a moment before using two to spread you gently. Fuck.. was the simple sigh that escaped you as his middle finger easily found your swelling bud, rubbing it into slow circles.

“Fu..fuck Curly, I’m supposed to be taking your mind off work.”

Curly lifted from your breast, nipple red and slick from his constant attention. “Oh don’t worry, you are.” The man confirmed, allowing a finger to slide lower— pressing against your entrance. With ease it was slipping in, velvety walls swallowing the thick digit greedily.

“Now all I can think about is you, your body, your reactions.. how much I missed when you’d…—“ As another finger of his slid in, the Captain curled them ever so slightly, watching intently as your lips parted wider, a breathy moan escaping your throat.

“— did that.”

His lips curled, clearly delighted. Would it be cocky to admit he loved the way you didn’t change? How he still remembered every single button to press? It was if.. you were made perfectly, just for him.

That, or Curly ruined you for every other man.

The man released your breast for a moment to tug your bottoms down, allowing him to watch his fingers appear and disappear into your wet snatch. Soft plaps escaped from between your pretty thighs, arousal trickling down his appendages and surely to your taint.

His mouth couldn’t help but water, and without thinking the man was lowering closer. Curly’s lips parted above your cunt, breath fanning across the wet heat for a moment before covering your sweet little bud. His free hand quickly came to rest on your lower stomach, only to then decide to hold you down with his forearm.

There; unable to move, his lips sucked your swollen clit, beard brushing across you so deliciously.

A swear dropped from your lips, hands flying to your mouth to cover more sounds that threatened to spill. Your legs fluttered, a warmth brewing deep in your tummy— one you haven’t felt in months. Sure, when you could you rubbed one out — unfortunately without your beloved vibrator that hadn’t made it on Tulpar with you — but this was different. A feeling you couldn’t quite replicate with your own fingers or imagination.

His fingers were just so much longer, bigger; filling and stretching you perfectly. Pushing against your warm walls, curling to press against spots you couldn’t achieve. And even as your clit began to sting at the sensitivity, the pleasure was far more overwhelming.

Tears sprung at your eyes and through a glossy gaze you were taking Curly in. His own eyes were closed, heated breaths and groans fanning against your cunt as he devoured you effortlessly. Such a fucking messy eater. And you loved it.

As the pleasure brewed, forming into a band bound to snap you allowed a hand to lower to his hair, fluffy blonde locks sliding through the gaps of your fingers as you clung to him. Your legs shook, body arching off the bed as your other hand held your mouth so harshly you were sure there were scratches on your cheek.

“Fuck..!” Slammed against your palm in a muffled cry, body clenching as you came undone. You heard an all too familiar groan of pure delight as Curly gently lapped you up, withdrawing his fingers but refusing to remove his arm.

Whimpers of overstimulation did nothing to him, the man continuing to clean you up until he was satisfied. And when he finally was, he rose, the bottom half of his face coated with your mess.

Your hand lowered from your mouth, soft pants escaping. “I hate you.”

“Do you?” Curly was quick to answer, moving his arm to instead grasp your thighs. He lifted you a bit, pulling your bottom closer to him. Once you nodded the man chuckled, thumbs gliding across the marks that were painted across your hips.

“I don’t believe that. Not one bit.”

You opened your mouth to retaliate, but was left silently searching for snarky banter as you watched the captain’s hands move towards his slacks. There, his thumbs caught the waist band of his bottoms, tugging them down to reveal that sharp v-line and much more. Curly was a large man, everywhere. His length was thick, a round tip— bulging red with an angry vein traveling down his pale shaft.

You wondered if a pillow would be better than your hands at this point.

“Thought you were gonna say something..”

Curly teased, pulling his bottoms down the rest of the way and tossing them with your pile of clothes. He could only chuckle as you shook your head, crawling over your form to hover a breath’s away from you.

“Good.”

The man was smart to capture your lips as the moment you felt his length prod and push, you couldn’t help the little cry escaping you— perfectly muffled by his own mouth.

The stretch burned, burned so damn good you could have came again just from that. Curly was a gentleman of course, pushing in slowly, allowing you to grow accustomed to his size after so many months.

About halfway you were pulling away from his lips, head pressed against the pillow beneath you as sharp pants escaped you. Curly’s hand brushed your hip whilst the other cradled your face.

“That’s good.. breathe, you can take it all— can’t you?” His voice was sweet, soothing as his hips continued to push— plunging deep inside of you.

Your eyes were struggling to stay open, pretty groans falling from your tongue, easing into a sigh the moment you felt his hips stop; now fully seated within you. The feeling was mildly uncomfortable, even with his loving preparation, but you could make do.

You have before.

Curly leaned down, pressing his lips to your face, peppering them across his skin. Your forehead, under your eye, your nose, lips, and chin— everywhere he could reach. Attempting to soothe you even more.

Your hands rose gliding under his shirt to instead press against his broad, muscular back. Your finger tips traced little shapes across his skin, soon curling to allow your nails to scrape the moment he moved his hips.

Curly began to pull them back slowly, allowing only the tip inside before pushing forward. A single motion that caused the both of you to shudder, pleasure quickly brewing once more.

Soon enough with little restraint, Curly started a gentle pace. Back and forth, a hand on your waist whilst the other kept him upright. His length pressed into you deeply, pushing against a spongy spot that caused stars to invade your vision.

Your eyes were screwed shut, mouth lax as whimpers of passion escaped you sharply. Your nails dug and dragged into his back, an ache forming in your hips as his simple thrust became drills.

Curly couldn’t help himself at this point. He’s been holding back for far too long. Every interaction, every playful banter, every secret exchange of the eyes— played within in his mind. The man was smart enough to acknowledge how stupid he was. Playing with yours and his feelings, pretending your past didn’t matter; that coworkers were a status that you could achieve.

But no. He was fooling himself. There’s no way in hell, especially after this, was the man going to be able to go back to just being coworkers.

“Curly.. fuck, fuck— they’re gonna hear—!” You cried, legs shaky and wrapped tight around his waist. In the midst of his haze had suddenly increased his speed, ferocity; placing nearly his entire weight behind each thrust. Your eyes were rolling back at this point, nearly lost to the pleasure if it wasn’t for the sudden banging of the bed against the wall.

That fear of being discovered nearly killed your high.

Fortunately, Curly heeded your concerns, his hand lifting from the bed to instead grip the metal railing. You nearly gushed on the spot, watching his eyebrows pressed close, focusing so intently on your pleasure. His grip on your hip nearly mirrored the bed, refusing to release you. Every thrust you took, pushing you deep into the mattress as your breath threatened to leave.

“Mi..missed you.. I missed you so much.” Curly huffed, pants escaping his open mouth as his thrusts never faltered. The wet sounds of skin on skin filled the room, a steady rhythm to accompany his thrusts.

You tugged him closer by his back, shoving your face into his neck with your mouth directly against his ear. You wished to reply, expressing you felt the same exact way— even more. But of course you were left to only moan and gasp, his name coming out in struggled cries that only stirred him up even more.

Moments of your intense passion continued until your peaks grew closer, the two of you struggling even harder to keep your voices level. Maybe you two truly didn’t give a damn who heard.

“Curly!—“ His lips were colliding with yours in moments, sealing the deal as you came undone for the second time that night. You gushed around him, coating his dick with your thick essence— trickling to his sheets.

The man, releasing a final groan right into your mouth, pushing deep; releasing inside of you. Filling you to the brim.

The captain’s hips slowly settled, yet his lips continued to cover your own; moving slowly and lovingly. Curly released the bed frame to instead cup your face, cool fingers an ease to your hot skin.

Soon enough the two of you pulled away, a soft groan escaping you as the man slowly slid out of you. You tried to ignore the rather unpleasant feeling of his release slowly trickling out of you, instead focusing on the man above you— who was currently smiling.

Your swollen lips flattened into a pout, hands rising from his back to instead rising to his face.

“Don’t smile at me, Captain.”

Curly chuckled, hands sliding under you to lift whilst he sat up. Pulling you onto his lap, the man cradled your waist, thumbs brushing across your skin.

“It’s habit at this point, my love.”

You couldn’t help your own smile, arms wrapping around his neck, leaning to give him a small peck.

“Mhm..” You only hummed, eyes closing in a blissful manner as his forehead pressed against your own.

“No matter what, I’ll always be here to support. You know that, right?”

“I know, [Name]. I know.”

[leclarifies]

THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE (LN4)

✰ lando norris x ex!reader ✰

summary → in which lando keeps dialing your number even after you've changed it.

genre → angst (im not sorry)

word count → 2.1k

author's note → remember how i broke ur hearts with carlos sainz angst for my first fic about him? YEAH HERE'S THE LANDO VERSION!!!!!!!! i know yall love it either way so, enjoy reading! very short btw, i just wanted to put something out for today

"where did we go wrong? i know we started out all right. where did we go wrong? i swear i knew we'd last this time." - lany, "13"

it takes three rings.

then he hears that stupid automated voice again, "the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try—"

"for fuck's sake."

after he ends the attempted call, the furious typing is apparent in the empty, dark room. the artificial keyboard clicking fills the room as he tries his best to reach her. it's futile really, with every text he sends, the more agitated he becomes.

he knew that he shouldn't do this, that she was probably trying her best to move on, but he couldn't. he couldn't let her slip away from his grasp so easily.

"i just want you here for my races, is that so hard to ask for?" lando sounded desperate, he was desperate. he was a guy who needed his girlfriend and it didn't help that his girlfriend couldn't be there with him when he needed it the most, especially at times like these.

she was tired, he could tell, he didn't want to turn this into an argument but he was going to base it off of how she was going to respond, "lando, i can't. you know this. i have family here that i need to support, i can't just quit—"

"i'm not asking you to quit, i'm asking you to come just when you can," lando ruffled his hair so hard that it hurt, "the races are on weekends— for fuck's sake! why can't you just listen to me and actually hear what i'm saying?"

"i am listening! you're not listening to me!" she had tears in her eyes now, he hated it. he hated when he got riled up like this. it wasn't her fault, he knew it but he wanted her around him at least every few races, he hadn't been able to see her on the paddock at all this year and it pained him.

an exasperated sigh leaves his lips and he tries calling again, he knows she's not gonna pick up. he knows that he's probably blocked everywhere, but he wants to try. he wants to talk. he just wanted to fix things.

"the number you have dialed is—"

the next thing he heard was his phone shattering against the wall after he threw it across the room.

it was only two days later when he got a new phone and tried again, it wasn't going to go through. he knew it, but he just wanted to try. he wanted to show her that he was willing to make a compromise with her, just to make sure that she was there for him.

he didn't understand why he raised his voice so easily when it came to her, maybe because emotions ran high and he didn't know what else to do to express himself. he didn't know. all he knew was that he was a selfish prick and he deserved all of this.

he tried again.

"the number you have dialed is cu—"

he wanted to smash that brand new phone into the wall like its predecessor but he held himself back, he knew that the money that was needed to buy him a new phone was priceless to him, he was a formula one driver. it was pennies to him. all that money and he couldn't keep the most priceless thing to him, her.

he didn't care how selfish it sounded, or how convoluted their issues were. he just wanted her here, to hug, to kiss, to just comfort him. he had so many things on his mind right now and it could've been solved just by a simple touch and kiss to the forehead.

he was losing his mind and he knew it.

something akin to a sob bubbles from his throat when he hears the automated voice again.

"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected, please try again later."

he fucked up, he knows now. she didn't have to rub it in his face like this, by changing her number and disappearing off of the face of the earth.

he just wanted to be home.

gentle knocking wakes her up from her slumber, it's unusual to get guests at this hour and on top of that, she wasn't expecting anyone. a huff escapes her lips as she gently takes the covers off of her and sits up on the bed. the knocks become more persistent as she begrudgingly gets up from her comfortable bed.

at first, she contemplates whether she should open the door or not but she opens it against her better judgement, her eyes widening when she realizes who it was.

"lando, what are you doing here? aren't you supposed to be in aus—"

she gets engulfed in a hug before she could even utter another word.

inhaling her scent after so long had been a breath of a fresh air for lando, he missed her. she's confused on how lando even knows where she lived. she had moved out of her last flat to avoid him on purpose, and now he's here, when he's supposed to be all the way in australia getting ready for a race.

his hug wasn't reciprocated, unfortunately for him.

"lando—" she was cut off by her ex standing in front of her, his eyes were glassy, puffy, like he had been crying all the way from australia to here.

"i just wanted to see you, that's all."

"we broke up two months ago, you can't just show up in front of my flat like this."

"i know but—"

"there aren't any buts lando, didn't me changing my number make it clear to you?" she folded her arms in front of her chest, her hair was still a mess from sleep and she was in pajamas, but her eyes were nowhere near his, not wanting to have any type of eye contact.

lando could only look down on the ground in embarrassment, he knew it was wrong. he knew he shouldn't have asked her friends where she lived, all of them had turned down his questions, telling him that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore but it wasn't anything a little persistence couldn't solve.

"is that all? you have a race to catch," she didn't even give him the chance to speak before trying to close the door on his face, but he blocked it with his foot, he wanted to talk. to fix things. he knew that things were irreparable but he wanted to try.

lando pushes the door open, despite her insistence of not letting him in, "i want to fix things, love—"

"there's nothing to fix lando, we're done. we've been done. what part of done do you not understand?" she was on the verge of tears, she didn't want to end it with lando, no, not at all but she felt that it was best for the both of them, she couldn't provide him with what he needed and he couldn't with her either, so it was best to just separate because why be in a relationship when you don't feel the love?

her eyes were still on the floor, not even daring to look up at lando's. it hurt for her too of course, just throwing away their year-long relationship out the window when the beginning of their relationship was so lovely, but now all there was is resentment and she didn't want that in her relationship.

lando couldn't utter anything out his mouth, he was stuck in place by her words. he let himself in earlier after he pushed the door open, he gently closed the door behind him before sighing, "we didn't even talk about it, you just decided for yourself that you didn't want to be apart of this anymore, you didn't even wait until my race ended before i could respond. how can i let it go?"

she swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked out the window, still refusing to look at lando, because she knew that if she did, she would start crying, "you just do lando. sometimes break-ups aren't always mutual, sometimes it's one person who doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. it takes two to tango."

lando tousled with his hair, what could he say to that? she wasn't wrong. she couldn't deny the hurt and sadness that was in his green eyes, she hated that she made him feel that way but they were nothing. they've been broken up. by definition, they didn't have anything to do with eachother anymore, but she still had that care inside of her heart for him. after all, it had only been two months.

"just hear me out, and by the end of tonight, if you don't want to see me anymore, i'm gone. i won't try to contact you anymore," lando gave an ultimatum and she was fine with that, because she knew well that whatever he said, she would still say no.

she sat down on her couch, patting the space next to her to at least give him some sort of hospitality, wanting to hear him out even though she was steadfast in her decision.

"i won't bug you to come to my races anymore, i'll even help you with helping your family—"

"you can't throw money at this problem, lando."

"i'm not throwing money at it, i'm just saying that it's an option and you can take it if you feel like you need it," lando's voice was always pleading— begging for her to hear him out. he wasn't that type of guy, never. all of his exes got the same type of treatment, if they said that they were done, then lando wouldn't even bother.

he was a formula one driver, he didn't have the time.

but for her, he did.

she looks up, her arms still folded in front of her chest, legs curled up beneath her as she tries to find a comfortable position in an uncomfortable situation. glancing at the clock on the coffee table, it read in bright red neon numbers that it at 4:27 am, far too early or late for him to be here.

"we've had a similar conversation before, and i refused. so i'm refusing again," she sighs before meeting lando's eyes for the second time tonight, "i don't understand why you would want to keep this relationship. it doesn't benefit you for dating a poor girl."

"do you really think i care about your financial status?" lando asked, almost if it the thought of him caring about his (ex)girlfriend's financial status was ridiculous. he didn't care, it's the way she made him feel for the entirety of last year. she made him feel whole, like even if the world was against him, she would still be there.

she was used to men coming into her life who could think that they could "save" her and lando was no different to all of those other men. sure, she was definitely struggling trying to pay for her younger siblings education while working and pursuing her degree at the same time but that doesn't mean she was a damsel in distress and she expressed that to lando.

lando closed his eyes in frustration, "no, i didn't mean it like that—"

"well you sure as hell worded it like that," she looks away from him yet again, refusing to meet his eyes again until he had to leave. her eyes were glued to the window that overlooked the city, it was beautiful, calming— peaceful even, "i'm not changing my mind lando, we're worlds apart. i don't need you helping me, i can take care of myself."

with that, lando bit his lip and she ushers him out of her flat.

it had been months since lando's seen her, but he never forgot. he couldn't. the way she smelt, the way she laughed, everything still stuck in his brain as he continued his career.

the world didn't revolve around him, so the show must go on.

calling her old number had also become routine, almost an obsession. every finish, every weekend, anything that had to do with his career, lando would try and call her and tell her how his races were going, as if he wasn't talking to an automated robot on the other end of the line. the automated voice was practically his best friend because he's heard the damn voice so many times.

"the number you have dialed is currently unavailable or disconnected. please try again later."

and try again later he would.

he didn't understand himself, was it an obsession or was it the comfort that it gave him when he dialed her number? he didn't know. but sometimes he would hold up that phone to his ear and talk as if she was on the other end of the line, even though lando knew that there was no one waiting on the other line for him, not anymore.

but, the show must go on, right?

[lazycats-stuff]

Could you write a batfam story where the reader, who's in an established marriage with Bruce Wayne, accidentally triggers Jason? Perhaps the Wayne family has kept Bruce and Jason's past hardships a secret from the reader, thinking it wasn't important to discuss. However, a misunderstanding between the reader and Jason causes Jason to run away after being triggered of his pass. The rest of the family understands that it was a misunderstanding and tells the reader that Jason will come back and not to worry. They explain Jason's troubled pass with Bruce. However, the reader is consumed by so much guilt and sets out to find Jason. Literally the reader goes and searches Gotham top to bottom IN THE MIDDLE OF A HURRICANE! 😭The reader ends up locating Jason in a warehouse, where Jason’s freezing and the rain is pouring right through. More happens but I want the story to like end where the reader and Jason are crying together in the pouring rain and Jason realizes that he now has a loving dad that would do anything to ensure his and his brothers safety. And like the reader brings Jason back to the manor and everyone else is thinking to themselves like damn, (y/n) really is the best thing to happen to this family, literally the damn glue. Or something… like if (y/n) wasn’t there to save Jason he could have been dead… again.

I am sorry this is so long… i just couldn’t stop thinking of this story dynamic 😊

Oh, my jay bird... Of course I can do it... My poor bird. Also, 2k followers? Why thank you. Also, taking some time off to focus on college because I have some shit coming up. To say lightly.

Summary: The family didn't tell (Y/N) about Jason's trauma. And that causes problems and some broken hearts.

Warnings: Mentions of Jason's past, but nothing graphic, (Y/N) is done with emotional constipation from everyone, but he still loves them a lot, also hurricane.

(Y/N) has been in the family for a few years now. Married with the patriarch of the family, Bruce Wayne, was the best decision he has ever made. Bruce, while known to the public as a playboy at the time, abandoned that mindset, all for (Y/N). Boys accepted (Y/N), once they saw that (Y/N) wasn't marrying Bruce for money. (Y/N) will be marrying him for love.

Were there a few hiccups with Bruce being Batman and all the nightly patrols? Yes. However, (Y/N) and Bruce worked through it. And more importantly, (Y/N) essentially adopted all of the boys as his own. He saw them as his own sons rather than looking at them as their stepsons. And besides, saying that they are his sons brings (Y/N) an indescribable amount of happiness. And besides, living with 4 boys is always fun.

(Y/N) knew about their trauma, but what no one told him was the trauma that Jason went through. He had a vague idea, but never knew exactly. He didn't feel qualified to prod around in anyone's head, anyone's mind, but he made sure to let them all know that if they need to talk about something, get something off of their chest, he is the person they can come to talk to.

And it has happened a few times. Sometimes they would come after a nightmare, squeezing between (Y/N) and Bruce, looking for comfort. Now, everyone was unsure as to what to call him. Batdad or mother hen... That one remains to be determined soon enough by the boys.

It was a tough day for everyone in the household and everyone was ready to straight up murder each other. (Y/N) had an awful day at work, Bruce had a bad day as a CEO and as Batman, well, the Batman part was only the night before, but has moved onto the day. The other boys had difficult days at school and at patrol. Jason had a big problem with his nightmares and flashbacks. Not to mention, Gotham was expecting a hurricane to come over and just sweep over it. It shouldn't be bad and there shouldn't be any damage besides any heavy rain.

Gotham natives are used to rains, whether they be small drizzles or storms. However, Bruce worried about it and made sure to get enough supplies, just in case. Safe to say, everyone was on absolute edge. Closed into the same house, despite it being a manor and absolutely huge, tension could be cut with a knife.

And then, Jason and (Y/N) started fighting. It started off as bickering, but then it turned into a fight where hurtful things were said towards each other. Jason, mentally pushed to the limit by the nightmares and flashbacks has had enough and went to his car. He drove off and (Y/N) was fuming still.

But...

When the anger went away, (Y/N) was mortified. Completely and utterly mortified. He essentially crushed whatever relationship he had with Jason. Words hurt more than any punches and any kicks. No matter what Jason went through, (Y/N) was sure that Jason was hurting like hell now.

(Y/N) couldn't stop pacing in the living room, wondering what is happening to Jason at this very moment. A hurricane is going to pass through soon enough, Jason went to God knows where and (Y/N)'s own heart was breaking apart.

" (Y/N), love, you need to calm down. Jason will be fine. He just needs space. "

" Space?! In the middle of a hurricane?! " (Y/N) now yelled, upset beyond belief. He has upset his son and he was telling him to calm down? He might kick Bruce out of their bed.

Bruce then talked about all the trauma that Jason went through, before he adopted him, after he adopted him at the hands of Joker. (Y/N) was now absolutely mortified.

" Father is right. Jason needs some time to cool off. " Damian said in passing, making (Y/N) throw his hands up in the air.

" Is anyone in this damn house emotionally available?! "

Tim shrugged from the sofa and (Y/N) took a deep breath. Bruce watched intently and he could see what (Y/N) was thinking.

" Do not tell me you are going out there. " Bruce said as (Y/N) put his jacket and shoes on.

Dick and Damian paused to watch the entire thing unfold. Tim looked up from his tablet.

" I am. Jason is my son and I'm going to get him back. Tim, track Jason's phone and send me the location. " (Y/N) said, ignoring Bruce. Bruce rubbed his forehead. (Y/N) is a stubborn bastard when he wants to be. And does Bruce love him for it? Yes. Is it annoying sometimes? Yes.

" There is a hurricane! " Tim yelled after (Y/N) as he stormed out.

" (Y/N)! " Bruce yelled after his husband, but it was too late. (Y/N) was already out the door.

" He's nuts, " Damian said underneath his breath.

" And I married him, " Bruce added.

Jason has started to regret the fact that he has decided to even come out here. Sure, (Y/N) and him got into a fight, nasty things were said, but it would be better if he has just stormed up to his room and slammed his door shut. That would have been a better option than this. This damp warehouse, where there was leaking rain wherever you looked...

Jason was shivering, teeth chattering. Cold probably seeped right to his bones. Hypothermia was also on its way too, Jason had no doubt about it. He leaned back against the wall, curling into himself as much as he could and allowed himself to think about what happened with (Y/N), his dad in a way.

They were all on edge from the hurricane, supplies, wifi and all that stuff was needed just in case. Bruce made sure to make the manor proof of any natural disasters. Gotham wouldn't be hit that badly, so there was no need for evacuation, but there was advice to be cautious about it. Everyone was on edge as it is from being cooped up together too much, since Bruce didn't want them to stray too far, just in case.

And Jason being in a foul mood from his nightmares already, he didn't like this one bit. He wanted to be alone, but no. Common areas are a must according to Bruce. So the fight happened and both of them said really hurtful things to each other. And Jason felt guilty. He knew that emotions took over them both, but still... (Y/N) was always trying to be good to them all.

It was wrong.

Jason looked up at the door when he heard a slam. It could be wind. Or maybe someone trying to find shelter?

What Jason didn't expect was (Y/N), wet to the bone, looking around frantically. When his eyes fell on Jason, he sighed in relief.

" Oh Jay, I've been looking for you everywhere! Are you okay?! " (Y/N) ran up to Jason, quickly kneeling down to check to see if he had any injuries. Jason was touched... To have a genuine parent, a loving parent, alongside Bruce, but Bruce is a bit emotionally constipated so (Y/N) is essentially everything that the boys need.

" Bruce told me what you've been through... And now I know why you ran, what made you so upset. It was a combination of everything plus the hurricane. "

Jason nodded and (Y/N) hugged him tightly. Jason hugged him back just as tightly, if not more.

And the two broke down in tears, holding onto each other tightly.

Bruce was pacing in the living room, worried about (Y/N) and Jason. He should have gone after Jason too. He shouldn't have been so stupid. He should have chased Jason down the moment he left the mansion. But no, he's too emotionally constipated to deal with this. Great. Absolutely great.

He flipped his head around when he heard the front door open and then close and then two sets of footsteps. Jason and (Y/N) stepped into the living room, both soaked to the bone.

" Bruce, " (Y/N) said calmly and Bruce had a feeling he would be kicked out of the bedroom.

" (Y/N)... Are you two okay? " Bruce asked softly and (Y/N) nodded, smiling at Jason.

" We are B. Jay, go down to the Batcave. Take a warm shower and get changed into warm clothes. I'm sure the others are there too." (Y/N) softly nudged Jason to get going.

Jason took the hint and went to the Batcave. Once he was gone, Bruce turned to (Y/N).

" I'm sorry. I truly am. I should have gone after him, but I was- "

" Stupid? Yeah. Clearly. But I'm willing to forgive. I assume that the cots are ready? "

" Yup. I prepared you warm clothes, some earplugs so that you can't be awaken by the bats. And also a mask so that you won't be awoken by the lights of the cave. You know, reflectors, Batcomputer... Come on. " Bruce gently lead his cold and wet husband to the Batcave. " A warm shower is in order too. "

(Y/N) rolled his eyes, knowing that he will be forced into a warm shower, warm and dry clothes and an intense cuddling session, where Bruce won't let go, out of fear and love... How did he even marry into this crazy family?

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 21 | Uninvited Judgements

summary: you were invited to a party by one of your friends, of course you brought Matt, your boyfriend along despite him being slightly younger, everything was going by smoothly and everyone was having great fun until you went out to the bathroom and when you came back you saw your drunken friends surrounding Matt, not suggesting anything good by their loud laughter…

warnings: ANGST, heavy language, arguing, party setting, drunk guests, bullying, age discrimination, age gap, all of the drinking characters are of age please drink responsibly and be aware of the possible consequences! & possibly more

authors note: nnn is soon coming to an end and the Christmas season will start which means… more Christmas fics! (And more smut) I am already feeling the spirit and love this season so much, also sorry for not posting this fic when I was supposed to but something personal happened and I couldn’t finish it that day and I hope y’all understand , but anyway luv y’all sm and hope y’all enjoy this one

The music bounced through the walls of the small apartment, a vibrant background to the laughter and conversation that filled the air. Matt adjusted the collar of his shirt, visibly feeling a little self-conscious under his excitement. He was still getting used to being around my friends, most of them were several years older than him. We had been dating for a few months now and while I loved spending time with him, he couldn’t shake the feeling he was still trying to prove himself.

I took his hand and squeezing it gently. “I’ll just be gone a minute,” I said, leaning in to kiss him softly. “Just need to use the bathroom. You okay to hang out here?” “Yeah, I’m good,” he replied, forcing a smile. “I’ll grab a soda or something.” As I slipped away into the crowded bathroom, Matt leaned against the counter and glanced around. Most of the partygoers were off in groups, cups in hand and laughter mixing with the music. He was about to reach for a drink when he noticed a couple of my friends gathering near him, their faces flushed and attitude high from the alcohol they have consumed.

“Look who it is!” one of my friends Mary slurred, her eyes shining with mischief. “Little Matt. What’s he doing here all by himself? Waiting for his mom to pick him up?” Matt felt heat rush to his cheeks, an uncomfortable mix of embarrassment and irritation. “I’m fine,” he muttered, trying to brush off the comments but the lack of a reaction from him it only encouraged the others. “Oh come on!” another friend chimed in with her laughter ringing loud. “You’re dating a woman who could practically be your aunt! What is she like, 25?” The group burst into drunk giggles, clearly enjoying the show of the younger guy, considering him as an easy target.

Matt clenched his fists at his sides, feeling a swirl of emotions and his gut twisted in upset. The teasing only got worse, the insults sharper, the references to our age gap digging deeper until he just couldn’t stand it anymore. “I’m not a kid for gods sake,” he shot back but his voice barely cut through the intense crowd. Their laughter only grew louder, cutting off his words. When I finally returned with a bright smile lighting my face while Matt was the opposite, livid and his skin prickling with anger. I noticed the tension immediately as I maneuvered through the crowd toward him.

“Everything okay?” I asked concerned looking from him to my drunken friends who had just finished their turn of jokes. “They think it’s hilarious that I’m younger,” he said, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice. “Why do you even hang out with people who think it’s okay to make fun of someone like that?” I looked caught off guard while blinking rapidly. “I don’t think they meant anything by it, Matt. They were drunk and you know how that goes. They joke around, they don’t always know where to draw the line.” “A line?” he snapped and frustration spilling out of his expression. “It feels fucking disrespectful to make jokes about someone’s age! Like I’m some boy toy you’re just playing around with. Do you think I like being the center of their jokes?”

“Matt, just chill out for a second,” I ushed, raising your hands for him to calm down. “You know they didn’t mean for it to hurt you. It’s just banter! They were drunk—” “No, it’s not just banter!” he raised his voice louder than he intended. “It’s condescending and you’re just brushing it off like it doesn’t matter!” I felt my heart racing, a mixture of anger and hurt beginning to swirl in my veins “You’re making a huge deal out of this. They’re not bad people, they were having a good time! You can’t just get upset over everything people say when they’re drinking!” “It’s not ‘everything’! It’s just this! Ugh!” he exclaims, frustration lacing every syllable that left past his mouth. “Sometimes I feel like you don’t even see how it affects me. You just make excuses for them.” With that, one of my friends—a guy named Jake who had been listening nearby—snorted. “Who knew Matt had such thin skin? Can’t handle a little fun?”

Matt’s gaze flicked toward Jake, becoming stiff in his stance. “And you’re an ass.” “That’s rich, coming from someone who’s basically a kid,” Jake retorted and shaking his head. “Matt, just ignore him,” I pleaded but he was too far gone now. “No, fuck this…” he muttered, stepping away from the group who had been laughing at his expense. He turned to me with his eyes blazing. “I’m not playing this game. I’m not gonna sit here and take your friends’ bullshit. I’m done.” Before I could get a single word out past my lips, Matt turned on his heel and moved toward the exit, the door slamming behind him. The sound echoed in the now silent apartment as everyone exchanged glances, the party suddenly feeling much less exciting.

I tried to process what had just happened, a storm of emotions swirling inside of me. My friends still buzzing from the drinks, didn’t have the capacity to understand. They were just drunk and careless. But Matt? His feelings were painfully real and visible for anyone and my heart sank knowing I would have to find him and somehow make sense of this mess my drunk friends have put me in now.

@hearts4werka |

𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 🏷️ | @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknott - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - @sturniolosiphone - @sophand4n4 - @zombiesturniolo - @luvleyangeldust |

[drdemonprince]

also not the anon, but I’ve been reckoning with similar things with my mom. I knew she had a fucked up relationship with me (luckily I’m not the only one who saw it, my siblings know it was fucked up too). She talked about sex a lot and would bring up masturbation and toys and shit, also with the parentification (which she did to all of us) and she also showered me with the golden boy shit, to the point of telling my other siblings that I was her favorite.

I’ve been reading Trauma and Recovery and a part early in the book really blew me away when it mentioned how traumatic memory can show up in dreams. I’ve repeatedly had this same intrusive dream (best way I can describe it, as it shows up in regular dreams sometimes) of my mom naked and being seductive but not letting me touch her. Given I’ve had the exact same fragment of a dream a bunch of times, I’ve very recently decided to embrace that shit probably happens to in some sort when I was very young.

I doubt anyone at the time would clock any of this as covert incest, it was just my mom. She was a teacher and would tell me all sorts of shit about kids in my class and general shit that I just shouldn’t know. I looked up to her so much until once day something just clicked in my brain and I felt decades of revulsion all at once

There’s such deep shame I’ve had buried in all of this and I hope the other people dealing working through the same shit in your inbox know that they aren’t alone and didn’t bring this on themselves. The biggest thing I’ve been trying to work through is not feeling like I am the corrupted one. This shit feels like a stain sometimes but I promise it gets better

Thank you so much Anon for sharing this. And given we've been talking about doing a dream interpretation streaming event sometime soon, it's oddly fitting that this would come up. I'm so sorry this shit happened to you, but glad you've found some insight into it. Shadowy not-memories are SO hard to deal with. I have several of them. I've determined that for me, they reflect an emotional truth rather than a biographical one -- I will likely never know the exact events that inspired these visions that I have (and started having while I was still a child), but I know they signal that I was sexually violated and emotionally preyed upon and that's enough.

[i-like-forcefem]

i have a feeling i know what you're going to say but, do you think its weird for me as a singlet to be into forceplural? im friends with a number of systems, and i know there's difficulties i'm not privy to, but it just seems,,, nice

Not at all cutie!!!

And it is nice!!! Being a system means you’re never alone, when times get rough you have someone else who can step in and control your body for you

Plus from my observations: everyone is a lot more plural then they’re letting on! I believe anyone could unrepress their plurality! Including you!

As far as I know every single plural person has doubts about not really being plural, and after deepening myself into hypnosis, I think the most important thing if you want to be plural is to just let yourselves be

Each plural experience is different, we personally always still feel like “Me”, but the lense through which we see the world, how respond to situations, and how our emotions feel is different from headmate to headmate

But when we notice such a shift in lenses, feeling like what we did before is suddenly not interesting before, or all of a sudden we’re a lot more active then we ever really are, then just take a second and think “wait am I the host?” If not, pick out a name for yourself!!! Start a simply plural! Talk about it with your friends!

Sorry that this is all so rambley! But we also started out as simply “wanting to be plural” before realising that “hey those couple days were we felt on cloud 9 and acted so so differently from ever before are a little suspicious” and that led to me picking out my name, and before we knew it we were a merry band of 5! And then I absorbed the host!!!

I don’t know if I’m going anywhere with that, except to say just go for it!!! I believe in you! (And even if you have absolutely no experiences you could call being plural, well just make a tulpa!!! That’s how we started before releasing I was here!)

[diangelodork]

DBDA nightly analysis #25! (sorry i've been lacking lately, i have not been in the right mental state but i am BACK NOW BABYYYYY)

tonight's topic: crystal palace the girl that you are (character analysis bc she's been getting shit on so violently lately and DOES NOT deserve it.)

i will say - i didn't care all that much for crystal for quite a while until i really sat down to analyze her motivations and background, but it is the hate that some people have been spewing about her that motivated me to analyze her tonight.

crystal palace is flawed. of course she is. she is by no means perfect.

the first time we see her is in emma's flashback to her and crystal. she would play in a graveyard, frolicking about and taking polaroid pictures with this ghost of a young child. she was good enough friends with this child for her to seek out professional help to get her back. she was undoubtedly kind to her.

when we see her next she is dazed and confused, and still, she makes a rude remark. this is not because she is inherently bad, but because she still has that memory of being mistreated. now, she doesnt have all of her memories, but she has the memory that people weren't nice to her. she feels she must fit into that mold and that memory. the way she does that is by being a dick.

we see her a bit more in depth in her walk with charles. she expresses that she feels like people weren't the kindest to her and, knowing what we know about the way she was raised, that makes a lot of sense. she was excruciatingly neglected as a child and seeked attention. the best way to do that was negative attention. it was the easiest to accomplish.

she has her spats with edwin, but they are mostly (if not exclusively) initiated by him. she returns his energy. then we see some of the shit she goes through with david. he is incredibly abusive all throughout the series and it is very evident how predatory he is. he chose her because she was unloved. because she was vulnerable. she was easy to take advantage of.

her breaking down in E1 is so, SO important to me. we forget that she is MEANT to be flawed. she is imperfect. like the boys, she is but a sixteen year old and she is so deeply scared. she doesn't know who she is or how to cope with the fact that she doesnt know who she is. on top of that, this fucker that she's with (affectionate) won't stop shitting on her for NO reason. from the start, he was a douche to her (he has his motivations for this as well, but that doesn't mean it's not true) and now shes sitting here and calling her abuser and the fucker that has been tormenting and stalking her is being linked to her ("her demon") and she cant HANDLE that. shes been hanging on by a thread all of E1. shes been dealing with so fucking much, emotionally.

interestingly, edwin is not an emotional character when faced with other people's issues. i say this because he still garners more compassion than her. the way she treats the becky aspen case, especially, is so fragile and vulnerable. the way she immediately starts crying after looking into becky's mom's mind should have elicited more sympathy than it did and it's incredibly interesting that it didnt.

i will be the FIRST to say how important the "it's a lark to you!" scene is for edwin, but i never hear anyone discuss crystal's part in this conversation. shes so desperate and hurting and it's so strange that no one talks enough about that.

except no its not. i wish it was.

i truly think its an issue of her being a black woman and standing in the way of payneland. there is a lot of internalized misoginoir within how the fandom views her character. it is explicitly highlighted within the show how similar edwin and crystal are and a lot of the things she gets hate for are characteristics that are also incredibly prevalent in edwin's character. for example, her brashness and bluntness. it’s okay when it’s edwin, the white, queer twink of everyone’s dreams, but the second it’s a woman who is already on thin ice for the fandom because she’s standing in the way of the main ship, it’s easy to say she’s a bad person for this.

crystal is so unwavering as a character. she has such strong themes of feminism all throughout her story. she is able to separate from her abuser and intimidate and overpower him which is so STRONG. she is able to hone in on the divine femininity of her ancestors and THAT is where her power is derived from. she confronts a goddess of female vengance and justice and stands in front of her, demanding justice for the young girls slaughtered under her watch. she is inherently, at her core, good. she has done shitty, awful things in her past, but that happens when you are abused. it is not an excuse, but she is a CHILD who has been deeply abused. neglect is a form of abuse.

also, could you IMAGINE how it must feel to be such a deeply unloved character who KNOWS they are unloved. she is a psychic. she could see into the minds of her parents. she could always see their apathy. what a lonely fucking thing to go through, my god.

even still, when she was doing these awful things, she took the time to connect with a young girl and spend enough time with her for them to bond and for her to miss her. her first instinct (with the memories of her parent's neglect gone) is to cross an ocean to save a little girl. she is so deeply touched by maren and shelby's stories.

she is a flawed character, but they all are. she gets more hate than all of them and, if you are one of the people who hate her above all else, i want you to ask yourself why? these views are, of course, not held by the majority of the fandom, but it has become a big fuckin issue and i wanted to address it. acknowledge where it’s coming from, if you’re one of the people feeling a bit targeted by tonight’s analysis. love yall <3

[avelera]

I will confess that I have started watching Arcane (knowing absolutely nothing about the source material whatsoever) after seeing all your flailing on my dash. I am currently about halfway through season 1; how braced should my body be?

I am SORRY it took me so long to reespond to this but I literally saw this message and froze because HOW do I even respond to this without spoilers??

It is the most tightly written, masterful writing I've ever seen pretty much ever in television. BECAUSE the music AND animation is all controlled in-house, you as a viewer don't need to worry you're crazy for thinking that tiny micro-expression meant something. IT DOES. It took them a week to animate every 4 seconds so yeah, if you think your ship is exchanging a heartfelt look, it is actually happening, there's no accidental moments here and it's SO rewarding to close viewers.

Imma be honest, Arcane S1 was lovely the first time I watched it, but the moment I became a bonkers screaming evangelist for it was when I REWATCHED S1 and realized just how tightly written it is. Every single moment is written to build towards the final scene of S1 and it is so tightly done that you can pretty much freeze-frame anywhere and scream at the screen because if THIS MOMENT had gone differently, the final scene wouldn't have happened. And it's just. Incredible as a structure-focused writer like me to witness so as a brilliant writer yourself, I will say, S1 is worth a re-watch just from a Structure Writer's angle.

S2 has been even more nutty lately but until this Saturday I don't know what the complete work will look like so I'm swiftly losing my mind and chewing the dry wall while I wait. So far, it's incredibly epic and I have so much faith in these writers that even as I create crazy theories, I don't mind if they're wrong, because I trust them so implicitly that whatever they come up with will be BETTER than what I did. But, if I am right about my theory, I will probably be catatonic for a week because of Emotions.

So... tl;dr.... braced???

[cosyvelvetorchid]

Have another bucktommy fix it fic. Because lord knows we’re all still happily in denial about the break up.

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

**********

Word count: 3,474

Rating: General

Summary:

Eddies had enough of both of them in his ear about the other and decides to force them to talk. For their sake and his waistline.

**********

“Thanks for this, man.”

“I’m not doing this for you—I’m doing it for my waistline. If I have to eat one more lemon loaf of chocolate cake I’m gonna smack you with it.” Eddie told him.

Buck gave a light laugh. “Yeah I’ve been baking a lot, I know.”

“A lot? There’s going to be a flour shortage soon if you don’t stop.”

Buck sat back into Eddie’s sofa and sipped his beer and sighed. “I just.. I keep going back and forth in my mind about reaching out to him. Baking..”

“Helps distract you, I know.” Eddie said.

“It happened so quick that I-I haven’t been able to reconcile in my head. I didn’t get the chance to say anything. He just.. left.”

“I know, bud.” He patted Buck on the shoulder. “That’s why I thought a game night might be good for you. Get out some of that emotion by trying to beat me.”

“Trying?”

“Hey, just because you’re heartbroken doesn’t mean I’m gonna go easy on you.” Eddie said.

A knock on the door echoed down the hall.

“That’ll be the pizza.” Eddie stood up and left the room and opened the front door.

“Glad you could make it.”

“I brought beers.” Tommy said holding up a 6 pack.

“Good man. Put them in the living room.” Tommy walked ahead as Eddie closed the door. “Please dear God let this work.” He whispered to himself and signed the Cross against his chest.

“Did you say you were ordering pi-“ Tommy words died on his tongue when he walked into the room to see Buck on the sofa. His heart thrummed in his chest. He knew he’d eventually have to see Buck but didn’t figure it would be this soon. It had only been a month. He thought he’d have more time to prepare for it.

He was just as beautiful as when he’d last seen him; when he’d walked out of his apartment leaving him heartbroken. The cracks in his heart forged by his own cowardice widened as he looked at his ex boyfriend.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be here. I’ll go.” He turned to leave but Eddie stood firmly in the doorway.

“No, you won’t.”

“Eddie.” Tommy protested.

“No.” He crossed his arms. “I care about you both, but damn it if I have to take one more minute of either one of you talking about the other I’m going to kill you both. So, here’s what’s going to happen: I am going for dinner with Tia Pepa and you two are going to stay here and talk.”

Buck stood to protest but Eddie raised his hand to stop him.

“Stop. Get back together, or stay broken up—at this point I don’t care. But you’re going to, at the very least, talk shit out enough that you stop making it awkward for everybody else. You’re both important to all of us but we can’t deal with the awkwardness anymore. Or the baking.” He said pointedly to Buck. So please, for everyone’s sake, talk.”

He picked up his phone and keys. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Don’t break anything.”

And with that Buck and Tommy were alone again for the first time in a month.

*

“Leave if you want. You’re good at that.” Buck said after a few minutes. It was a childish jab, he knew, but Tommy deserved it. And worse.

Tommy sighed. “Buck.”

Buck.

That was the cruelest part of what Tommy did. His way of punctuating the break up. The cherry on the top of the world’s shittiest cake. Buck clenched his jaw to try to keep down his anger.

“Just go.” He said, not looking at Tommy.

Tommy stood in the doorway, conflicted. Part of him did want to leave. Simply seeing Evan was breaking his heart, but hearing his derision—no matter how deserved it may be—was breaking it even more. But Eddie had a point. Tommy had forged a relationship again with Hen and Chimney and had started a new one with Eddie—he didn’t want them to be sat stuck in this awkward position between the two of them.

He’d tried to distance himself from them when he’d first broken up with Evan—it was better for Evan to not have to worry about potentially running into him at events. But they’d all convinced him to stick around; that they’d like having him around again.

He took a few steps into the room. “Eddie is right. It’s not fair on everyone else.”

“Yeah well whose fault is that?” Buck said back, still not looking at him.

Tommy sighed as he sat down on the chair next to the sofa—the furthest away from Buck. “It’s mine, I know.” He said quietly. “I didn’t.. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You have to know that.”

Buck finally looked at him. Anger in his eyes. “The only thing i know is that you threw away something good, great even, because you’re a coward.”

“I know.” Tommy said meekly.

“You know the thing I don’t get? Why spent six months dating me if you knew all along that we wouldn’t have a future? I mean did you just get a kick out of stringing me along? Making me think that we had something special?” Bucks voice was terse and louder towards the end. He was trying really hard to keep himself calm but fuck it was hard to do when Tommy had the audacity to be in front of him acting like he was the one hurting.

“No, Ev- Bu-. I wasn’t stringing you along. Not at all!”

“But you knew it wouldn’t last, right? That’s what you said—you knew I would break your heart. So why even bother?”

Tommy rubbed his face with his hands. His pulse was rising with frustration, which he knew wasn’t really fair but Buck wasn’t understanding.

“I thought.. I thought at first it was just going to be a bit of fun with this adorable, gorgeous guy. We’d have our fun and it would eventually fizzle out. The longer we dated, the more- I kept telling myself that something was going to inevitably happen. But then you’re telling me that I transformed your life and then asking me to move in and it was too much.”

“So you just bailed? That was your solution?”

“You don’t know me, Evan. Not really. You just know the idealised version of me you have in your head.”

Buck couldn’t deny he felt a twinge in his heart at hearing Tommy call him ‘Evan’. But it wasn’t enough to douse the righteous anger he was feeling.

“Could you be anymore patronising?!”

“I’m not patronising you.” Tommy argued back.

“Yes, actually are. Telling me what I see or feel about you. Like I’m not a grown ass man who understands his own feelings.”

“But it’s true—you do have this version of me in your head that you’ve shoved onto a pedestal. I see it in how you look at me; like I’m this perfect human. Some bastion of queer identity. You said it yourself—you’re comfortable in yourself because I am. Except I’m not. I’m not comfortable with myself. Do you even know how many shitty things I’ve done in my life that I hate myself for?!”

“No, Tommy I don’t. Because you haven’t told me. I’m not as naive as you like to think I am and I’m actually pretty perceptive—I know that you’d been through some shit that you’re not comfortable talking about. And I never asked because I respected you enough to wait until you felt comfortable telling me.” Buck slammed his empty beer bottle onto the coffee table. “You don’t get to be pissed at me for not understanding shit about you that you didn’t tell me about.”

Tommy knew he had a point. He hadn’t been open with Buck as maybe he should have; only showing him the good parts of himself. He couldn’t blame Buck for forming an opinion on him based on what little he’d chosen to share.

He pulled out a beer from his six-pack and took a few gulps.

“You’re right. There’s a lot of things about me that I haven’t told you about. And that’s on me. All you need to know is I’m not a good person. I’m not the person you want to spend your life with.”

“See there you go again—telling me what I want.”

“Thats not.. I’m not trying to..”

“The worst part about this is you think you’re being fair. You’ve decided that breaking up is the right thing to do. You’ve not once stopped to ask what I want or I feel. No, you’ve already decided because it makes it easier for you.”

That got Tommy’s blood up. The words came cascading out of him before he had the chance to stop them. “You think any of this has been easy for me?!” His voice was loud and echoed in the room.

“I didn’t say it was easy I said it was easier Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me breaking up with me was harder than staying.“

“I can’t.” He said quietly.

“I just can’t understand how in the entire time that we were together that you couldn’t trust me.” Buck said.

It was one of the things that had hurt Buck the most. He’d trusted Tommy with everything; told him about embarrassing moments, painful parts of his life and Tommy hadn’t returned the favour. Hadn’t trusted him as much as he trusted Tommy.

“I did trust you.” He said looking at him.

“Not enough.” Buck sighed. “I know that I’m an open book, more than most people. Trust me I’ve been called an over-sharer more than once. I don’t expect you to be as open as me, but I at least thought after 6 months you’d feel like you could talk to me about some stuff.”

“Me not talking about my shit isn’t a reflection on you, or our relationship—it’s a reflection of my whole life before we met. I’ve spent most of my life having to hide who I am. First from my dad who couldn’t stand to have a fairy for a son, then the army who would have kicked me out with a dishonourable if they have found out and you’ve had first hand experience of Gerrard.. I spent a lifetime in environments that didn’t exactly foster openness.”

Buck felt a like a cinder block had been dropped in his stomach hearing Tommy speak about his life. He wanted to hug him. But he didn’t move. He couldn’t. He felt sadness for Tommy, but it wasn’t enough to take away the hurt he’d caused.

The thing is, Buck knew that he was in part responsible for what had happened between them. Not the actual break up or his chest being ripped open and his heart forcibly removed. But he was beginning to realise that he could have done more. He could have asked Tommy about his past, or maybe took time to reassure him that he could talk to Buck about it.

“You’re.. your dad called you that?” He asked softly.

“He called me a lot of things, but that was his favourite.” Tommy swigged his beer and kept his eyes on his hands. “He preferred his fists though.”

“I’m sorry, Tommy.”

“Why? It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. No kid does.” Buck told him.

Tommy knew that these days, but he didn’t for a long time. He spent years telling himself if he’d have just been a better son—a straighter son—then his dad would have loved him.

“Everything that I went through.. I turned into a person that I look back on and despise. You would despise him too if you knew him; knew what he did.”

Buck was close to smacking him across the head for once again telling him how he would react instead of trusting him to react the right way. But he held it inside.

“As much as you’ve convinced yourself otherwise, I know you’re not perfect. And I haven’t put you on a pedestal. Do I admire you? Yeah. I mean for god sake we met because you flew us into a damn hurricane—that’s pretty damn admirable. I admire the fact that you’re not afraid to be yourself. And yes, I know that you weren’t always like that, but you are like that now.”

“I am comfortable with who I am now, but not who I used to be.”

“But that’s the point, isn’t it? It’s who you used to be. There has to come a point Tommy where you stop chastising yourself.”

“You say that like it’s easy.”

“No, I know that it isn’t.” Buck argued. “I just.. I guess what hurts the most is that you don’t believe that I see good in you.”

Tommy looked across at Buck who was looking down at his beer bottle; a sad look on his face.

“You’re so convinced that I would hate you for who you were, or that I would leave you for someone better, without even giving me a chance to prove to you that I wouldn’t do that.”

“I..” Tommy knew Buck was right—he hadn’t given him the chance. But what cost would that chance come with?

Buck slid across the sofa closer to Tommy.

“I understand a bit more now about why what I said that night freaked you out. You’re not used to people giving a shit. But I also owe you an apology. I-“

“No, you-“ Tommy tried interrupting but Buck raised his hand to stop him.

“Please, Tommy. Let me say this.” Tommy nodded.

“These last 6 months was happiest I’ve been in a long time. And-and I guess I got so caught up it that, in you, that I didn’t think to stop and check in with you. And I should have. I should have asked if you were okay at the pace we were going at. I should asked if you were comfortable and took the time to reassure you that you could trust me with all of you. But I didn’t. And for that I’m sorry. The truth is you never made me feel like I’m too much, or too needy or annoying. You listened intently when I was yapping about a subject you didn’t care about. When I was freaking out about Billy Boils curse, that i know you don’t believe in, you never once made me feel stupid about it.

For the first time in my life I felt like being me was enough. That’s what I meant when I said being with you was transformative. Not that you were some kind of gay guru.”

He tentatively reached out to take Tommys hand and he let him.

Tommy was having a really hard time hearing Buck’s words. He had been right—nobody had ever really given a shit about him. At least not the extent Buck did. He’d never had someone be so earnest with him before and he was having trouble keeping his emotions at bay. A part of him was desperate to do what he’d always done and to run away as fast and as far as he could.

But he could lie to himself—Bucks.. Evan’s hand in his brought a comfort to him that he hadn’t realised he’d relied upon when they were together.

“Asking you to move in was stupid. I think I just got so excited at the thought of a future with you I got ahead of myself and did things in the wrong order.” He took a deep breath and continued. “What I should have said first.. was that I’m in love with you.”

Tommy’s whole body tensed up and his heart slammed against his chest with reckless abandon.

“Before you even think about telling me I’m wrong, I’m not. I might have been new to being in a relationship with a guy, I’m not new to relationships. I’ve been in love before, I know what it feels like. I love you, Tommy. And I know that’s scary for you to hear and I don’t ever want to be the person who scares you but it’s the truth.”

Buck was terrified. He’d never poured his heart out to anybody to this degree. But if he wanted Tommy to be more open with him, he’d have to be more open with Tommy.

“You-you don’t have to say it back. I just wanted to be honest with you about how I feel. Because it is how I feel and-“

“I love you, too.”

Buck had wanted to hear that from him for months and thought he knew how’d he’d feel when Tommy said those words. But he wasn’t even close. Without warning, or permission, he immediately burst into tears. Everything he felt before the breakup, everything he felt after.. it all just poured out of him.

“Really?” He asked; voice shaky and barely there.

“Yes.” Tommy assured Buck, his own tears now falling. It seemed that opening up just a little to him was enough for the floodgates to come crashing down no matter how hard he’d been trying to keep his emotions at bay. “It’s why I’m so fucking terrified. Evan, you are the single, most beautiful thing I have ever had in my life and the thought of losing you scared the shit out of me so much that I felt like running was the only thing I could do to keep my heart safe in case it went wrong.”

“But I’m scared, too, Tommy. I’ve had my heart broken before, just like you. But you’re worth the risk.” Buck sniffed and wiped his eyes. “All I want is for you to think I’m worth the risk, too.”

“You are worth the risk.” He said. He moved forward and dropped to his knees in front of Buck, reaching up and taking his face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” More tears fell and Buck put his hands on Tommys forearms, holding them tightly in place, scared that Tommy would let go.

“Can you ever forgive me?”

Buck looked at him for a few moments. He knew what he was going to say but hey, he could make Tommy sweat for a minute.

“On two conditions.” He finally said.

“Name them.”

“We talk. And I mean properly talk. I don’t expect you to tell me everything straight away—I don’t want you to feel pressure to do that. But I’m going to need you to tell me if things get too much for you or too fast. And i promise that I will do the same and check in with you more.”

“I can’t lie and say that it’ll be easy for me, but I promise I will try. I been thinking recently actually that I might go back to therapy.”

“Yeah?”

“All of this has made me realise that I haven’t dealt with my shit as much as I thought I had.” Tommy admitted. “Maybe.. maybe you could come with me sometimes?”

Tommy sounded so unsure and nervous. Buck had never seen him like that before and it made him realise that Tommy was maybe right about him putting him on a pedestal. He’d assumed that this cool, confident man never wavered.

“Of course I would. I’ll do whatever you need me to do to help.”

“Thank you. What was the second condition?”

Buck sighed and a soft, pleading look came across his face. “Kiss me.”

Tommy didn’t waste a single second and leaned forward capturing Evan’s lips. It was solid and firm; Desperate. He’d spent a month thinking he’d never get to taste Evan’s lips ever again.

Buck whined into it and wrapped his arms around Tommys neck holding him in place. He’d thought he’d lost the love of his life forever but by the grace of god he’d got him back. And though he knew things weren’t going to go back to the way they were before, and that they both had a lot of work to do to built their relationship back up—he was not going to let him go.

*

Eddie tentatively unlocked the door and stepped inside hoping that he wasn’t going to walk into a crime scene. There was no yelling, so that was a good sign. But then he realised there was no yelling because there was no sound.

He swore to himself that if they’d both left after he did and not even tied to work things out he might actually kill them both.

He walked into the living room and immediately recoiled at what he saw.

“Oh dear god! On my sofa?! Really?!”

[mochamvgz]

stay a while.n.ki

; your boyfriend breaks the news to you about him moving away after high school, leaving you devastated.

; nishimura riki x reader

; genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, high school au

; warnings: implied break-up, crying, intrusive thoughts

; 0.6k words

; tags: @sobun1est @kbookshelf

“we're running out of time.”

it's as if time halts for a moment as you utter those words into existence. your voice was quiet but that obviously did nothing to soften the blow, for you feel riki freeze mid-action.

your eyes remain trained on your fingers as you fidget with them on your lap. you don't look up. you don't want to see whatever expression is painted on his face, you're too scared to.

“i'm right, aren't i? you've been dodging the question for weeks now.”

your voice comes out choked but you force your face to remain passive.

a defeated sigh rings out from beside you and you notice his shoulders slump in your peripheral vision.

the room is quiet for a moment. you can sense your boyfriend, soon to be your ex, trying to find the right words to say, mulling them over in his brain before saying them out loud. his hand reaches for yours but you pull away before you can even register what you're doing. his fingers collapse into a loose fist, as though even they were dejected, and his hand slowly retreats from your vision, almost begging you to change your mind.

“i’m sorry.”

“for what? keeping me waiting and letting me cry every night for the past week over the mere thought of losing you? us? that's not a big deal at all!”

“what? you-you've been... crying?”

riki is facing you now, his tone carries a noticeable undertone of surprise, but you still don't look up. your silence answers for you.

“at least tell me now, are you moving away or not?”

you ask after a beat, finally turning to face him. his lips purse as he avoids eye contact and you already know the answer. regardless, you wait for verbal confirmation.

part of your brain screams at you to back away, take back the question and lock him in a closet because you weren't ready to let go, not so soon.

“most probably, yes”

“you told me you would decide last month.”

another sigh, “fine. yes, I am going.”

the admission plunges you in a whirlwind of emotions. your ears are ringing now. memories flash in your mind of the unfulfilled promises you made to one another, the seemingly insignificant ones as well as the big ones. you're watching a movie in your head where the scenes are moving too quick to allow any space for comprehension.

“then why did you lie earlier?”

“i didn't want to talk about this right now, i didn't want to tell you…”

you can't deal with this right now, you need to clear your head.

your body works on autopilot as you stand up abruptly. his fingers clasp around your wrist almost reflexively, keeping you from walking away. you can't find the willpower to look at him.

he pulls you towards him and you fall on his lap.

“we've still got a couple of months…”

there's the faintest hint of hope in the sentence. maybe hope wasn't exactly the right word for it but for it but you were too lost in the moment to give a damn.

“i love you.”

riki tenderly whispers into your ear and that's all it takes for the floodgates to open. you curl in closer to him, clutching his t-shirt as your sobs break loose. he wastes no time wrapping his arms around your quivering frame.

“i love you too.”

he buries his face into the side of your neck and it's not long before you feel your collar dampen from his tears. he isn't ready to let go either.

both of you had known this moment would come one day, and dreaded its arrival, but none of you were prepared for heartache to come knocking on your door so soon.

; a/n: i wasn't planning on writing anything in 10th grade bc I had a massive case of writer's block but here i am! i tried writing in present tense for the first time, did you guys like it better? sorry, it's pretty short. my exams are around the corner so i probably won't be putting anything out again for a few months at least. hope you liked the fic!

© mochamvgz on tumblr | all rights reserved | do not plagiarise, repost, or translate

[acacia-shade]

I will preface this with the fact that some of us like to call ourselves median, while some do not care to do so. I figure this is still a helpful perspective nevertheless. Best of luck in figuring things out.

answers below the cut

(I've turned the questions green because something about this was getting hard to read for me sorry)

Was there ever one, big "Aha!" Moment for you? Or several smaller ones? What was the event(s) like, what happened? We discovered that we're a system in kind of an odd way that we don't really talk about but it wasn't a big moment, it was a long and slow progression. we've always talked to each other, and we've always switched, we just didn't see those things as anything notable or understand quite what was going on, it's just how 'I' was. Of course we didn't notice those things as much before either. Even when we discovered plurality, we didn't consider that it could apply to us for a long time, it seemed far too big and obvious. Over time we learnt more, started to see people who seemed a bit like us, than people who seemed a little more like us, and eventually we looked back and realised that at some point along the way we'd started understanding ourselves as plural too.

For those of you with no headspace or very limited internal interaction, what is that like for you? We don't really have a headspace but we interact just fine. I actually don't know how to describe us talking to each other. its like. our conversations are thoughts back and forth mostly or out loud words and thoughts but the most of the 'thoughts' have a specific feel or ...sound? to them that i don't know how to describe. How did you discover your system and how do you communicate (if at all)? Do you experience uncontrolled inner voices, like a lot of multiple systems do, or something else (internal/"ghost" emotions, visual projections, random thoughts popping up)? We often talk in words but we can also understand the greater meaning or intention behind them even if alone they might be kind of incoherent sometimes. we also can talk in just emotions and we have some parts who more commonly only communicate in vague feelings. as for visual projections we also get those, not like hallucinations of any kind, just visual thoughts and such. random thoughts we actually don't really get for all that those are pretty common to my knowledge. actually i am being reminded that that does happen on occasion but mostly we just get random parts just commenting on stuff or suggesting things without having called for them or anything, like just then when someone reminded me of a time or two we have gotten random thoughts.

Do you experience some form of frontstuckness, whether it's "nobody can ever front except one facet" or "I'm a shell and everyone fronts through me"? No. Due to how we switch though I suppose we could view it that way. When we switch it feels like we've 'become the next fronter' and we're not wildly different so it wouldn't be hard to see things in the way mentioned in the question but it doesn't help us to view things that way so we don't.

Semi related to above, how do you recognize switches? Especially early in your journey. We often don't often recognise switches unless we're looking for them. There are a couple indicators that sometimes appear for us though, if we've been in a room or doing something for a while only to feel like we've just got there we've probably switched, if what we're doing suddenly feels boring or unpleasant when it didn't before we've probably switched, if the boring or unpleasant thing we're doing seems interesting now we've probably switched, if our sense of self seems different somehow than it was before we've probably switched. I think you get the gist, if our opinion on something or view of the world or ourself feels different to 'before' we've probably switched at some point since then. Are they subtle? Our switches tend to be pretty subtle, mind you sometimes our body language or voice does change somewhat notably (mostly we mask without really realising though). Can you switch intentionally or is it random? We can't switch intentionally for the most part, a few of us do have front triggers that we know of and sometimes we might use those, but mostly it's just whoever is out. We do have some luck with calling parts into cocon though.

How do you discover the identities of your facets, whether they're another you or someone entirely unique? Barring one of us who is notably different, already had a pretty strong sense of identity and also never fronts (he's in cocon a lot), we've mostly just worked ourselves out by living. I know that I like minecraft and the sims because I'm the one who most often reaches for them, we know that another part likes organising because it makes them happy when they do, theres a lot of stuff like that. For other stuff sometimes we can just ask if the part we want to ask is around or they can be drawn into cocon. A lot of the time though we don't know, we just have to work it out over time. Sometimes we just know there is a part that has a trait even if we know nothing else about them too, like I know that there is at least one of us who sometimes fronts who hates the music we have on our phone, even though I don't know almost anything else about them.

Prior to self discovery, did you ever experience talking to your brain/body/"inner self" as a separate being to yourself, whether or not you actually believed they could respond or were conscious? Yes, but we still do that. A lot of us tend to talk to ourselves, our brain, and our body without intending for anyone in our system to hear or respond, it's just how a lot of us think. We did however talk to each other a lot before we realised we were a system too. Sometimes we interpreted it as imaginary friends, sometimes as just talking to ourself, sometimes as something else.

Have you ever had the experience of "not being able to pick just one aesthetic", which you later discovered was your plurality? i don't remember at all, probably because we normally don't care about aesthetics for most things (and we've known we're a system for a good while now so any memory of that has long since faded). i've seen this sort of thing mentioned by other systems several times though.

Are you monoconscious, polyconscious, or something else? we don't really bother with consciousness labels so i don't have any answer to that question. Are your facets "conscious/aware" in headspace/while not fronting? Is the current fronter aware of/able to interact with the other facets while fronting? we're not really conscious when we're not near the front. we do have folks sit in cocon for a chat and such sometimes, and obviously they're aware of things when that's going on and the fronter can interact with them when that's happening but if not, they aren't aware of stuff. i will note here that we don't have a 'headspace' in terms of 'a place folks go when they're not fronting' only a 'headspace' in terms of a visualisation tool sort of thing that folks around the front might use if they want. (Basically just a place to imagine ourselves into if we so desire for some reason.)

feel free to ask us questions about this or anything else, i find answering this kind of stuff fun.

Hiiii, plural community! Questions for median systems, while I explore the possibility of being one myself, answer as many as you like:

What made you start questioning whether you were a system or not? And what brought you to discovering and adopting the "median" label?

Was there ever one, big "Aha!" Moment for you? Or several smaller ones? What was the event(s) like, what happened?

For neurodivergent medians, how did you differentiate your systemhood from the rest of your neurodivergencies? (Ex: the difference between autistic masking and subtle/fluid switches, identity issues from personality disorder vs genuine facets, etc)

For those of you with no headspace or very limited internal interaction, what is that like for you? How did you discover your system and how do you communicate (if at all)? Do you experience uncontrolled inner voices, like a lot of multiple systems do, or something else (internal/"ghost" emotions, visual projections, random thoughts popping up)?

Do you experience some form of frontstuckness, whether it's "nobody can ever front except one facet" or "I'm a shell and everyone fronts through me"?

Semi related to above, how do you recognize switches? Especially early in your journey. Are they subtle? Can you switch intentionally or is it random?

How do you discover the identities of your facets, whether they're another you or someone entirely unique?

Prior to self discovery, did you ever experience talking to your brain/body/"inner self" as a separate being to yourself, whether or not you actually believed they could respond or were conscious?

For those of you who are stoners, how does weed affect you and potential switches? Does it make switching/recognizing a switch easier?

Have you ever had the experience of "not being able to pick just one aesthetic", which you later discovered was your plurality?

Are you monoconscious, polyconscious, or something else? Are your facets "conscious/aware" in headspace/while not fronting? Is the current fronter aware of/able to interact with the other facets while fronting?

⚠️ NO SYSCOURSE ON THIS POST ⚠️

I do not want to engage in syscourse, do not attempt to start any with me. I simply want to hear about others experiences and hope to learn something about myself in the process. If you want drama, go elsewhere.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

heeyyy gaaanggg

the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Aaaaaah I know I've been talking abt this art for like 3 days but I FINISHED IT HEEHEE 💖💘💖💘💖💘💖 The thought behind this was Cherry was getting mugged during their walk back to her apartment cuz Townsville be like that, and this is the moment Mojo swooped in to her rescue (How did he know it was happening? He deeeefinitely wasnt spying on them lol) ANYWAYS ENJOY If you want more thoughts look at my tags!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖

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