#sorry having a rapturous moment of reconciling my struggles disability and gender and sexuality with my sense of self and worth
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I served my best but all I got was an existential revelation.
Wish me luck on serving the best dyke vibes tonight o7
#ra speaks#personal#sorry having a rapturous moment of reconciling my struggles disability and gender and sexuality with my sense of self and worth#at complete peace with my physical existence tonight lads gonna have second dinner and sleep in blissful euphoria#idk if I’m just exhausted from having meetings all day but like. holy shit.#I love being alive. I love cold milk and dry blankets and the hum of the fan#I feel like I’m alive for the first time and I want to laugh and cry and eat apples for the first time and lick peanut butter off the knife#(it’s so hard to convey. like I’m not drunk or high or anything I don’t do that stuff I’m just. gosh did you know breathing feels so GOOD?)#I’m alive! I’m alive and I love poetry and art and music and everyone! I’m alive because I am love and I love because I am alive!!!!!#love makes life and life makes love and both are unrelenting change and steadfast promise#the body and the soul are not reflections they are complements!!! they are whole TOGETHER!!! sacred union of the divine and flesh!#my body is a stranger and I love it an welcome it like I would welcome any weary traveler in this awful world!#I am for this body and this body is for me! they are inseparable! they are not the same and they shouldn’t be!#the flesh is transient where the mind is stable! the mind wanders where the flesh is steadfast!#they belong together. that’s why death hurts so much.
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