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natti-ice · 9 months ago

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Wrong Decade- Sirius Black.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: During their school days Sirius wasn't into Y/N, when he realizes he was wrong he was too late. A 10-year reunion might change the past

Warnings: mentions of rejection and divorce (4.3k words), I’m sorry it’s in third person (she/her pronouns used)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

"Does this outfit look okay?" Y/N asked her friend as she checked herself out in the mirror

A taller brunette sitting on her bed looked up from her book. She put her book down walking up to the mirror "You look great, I promise. Don't worry, I know he'll say yes" her friend assured her.

"What if he doesn't?" Y/N questioned nervously, her heart had been racing all morning. Today she was going to ask out Sirius Black, they aren't the closest friends but they talk a few times a week. She's had the biggest crush on him since they first met first year in defense against the dark arts.

"Then it's his loss, dear." She said as she fixed the collar of Y/n's shirt. "Now c'mon, Mcgonagall will kill us if we're late again." Y/N grabbed her bag and headed out the door behind her friend.

She had put off doing this for so long because she was scared he wouldn't like her back. Sirius was notorious for only dating the most popular girls in school. Y/N wasn't popular but she was known around school. She didn't come from money and she didn't like how people were treated differently because of their social status. She tried her best to treat everyone the same way no matter what.

6th year is almost over and she can't keep waiting for him to say something. She has to get over her fears and go for it, she won't let the fear control her anymore.

She had been waiting all day for this moment, she and Sirius only shared one class. Potions, the last class of the day. She had been on edge all-day hundreds of scenarios playing in her head, everything that could go wrong. Pushing all those nerves down, she walked into the classroom. A few students were scattered around the class, she tried to get there as early as she could. Much to her surprise, the Marauders were already in the classroom.

They were normally some of the last people to show up, She wasn't sure why they were there so early. She walked over to her table and sat her bag down. She hesitated walking over to him, everything in her said don't do it. She argued with the voice in her head, she had to do it now or it would never happen.

She took a deep breath before heading toward their table, keeping her head high as she was afraid if she looked down she would trip. The four boys were in a conversation it must've not been that important because once she arrived at the table all their attention was on her. It was nerve-racking but she kept a smile on her face trying to act as natural as possible.

"Hey Y/N/N, how are you today?" Remus asked

"I'm doing just fine, thanks" she smiled at the boy, she really wanted to get this over with

"Sirius?" She asked

"Yes?" The longer-haired boy looked up from the paper he was doodling on, a small smile played across his lips.

Oh my, he's beautiful she thought to herself, shaking that thought from her head she continued the conversation

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" her voice steady

"Um sure, love" he hesitated at first, he stood from his stool and followed her to a more quiet part of the class

The remaining boys gave each other questioning looks. Anytime Sirius ever spoke to Y/N the other boys were around so it was odd for them to be on their own.

The two stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, just looking at each other. Y/N's mind had gone blank, she didn't think she'd get this far.

"Did you need something?" Sirius asked pulling her out of her trance

"Huh? OH, yeah" She fidgeted with her ring as she prepared herself for what she was about to say. "I was wondering, would you like to go out this weekend... like a date" she made it through without stuttering, an awkward smile on her face poorly masking her nerves

Sirius' eyes slightly widened, he didn't expect Y/N to be this straightforward.

Y/N's heart was racing in her ears as she waited for his response. Her smile faded quickly as he spoke

"Y/N I'm sorry, but we're just friends. I hope I didn't lead you to believe differently. I'm sorry" he said with a pitied look

Her heart broke, the worst thing that could happen just happened. She had to get out of this situation fast.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I get it, sorry to bother you." She walked off before he could speak again

James noticed her change in body language as she went back to her table. Sirius rejoined the boys and didn't say anything about what happened, he just went back to scribbling on his paper.

Later that night at dinner, the boys were in their usual seats eating while talking about random topics. James looked around the room and noticed Y/N wasn't in her usual spot. He took this opportunity to ask his friend what happened earlier

"Mate" he nudged Sirius with his shoulder getting his attention

"hm?" he responded as he had food in his mouth

"What happened today with Y/N?" he asked casually

He swallowed before speaking "She asked me out" he said nonchalantly

This caused the others to freeze in place, they looked around at each other seeing who will speak first.

"What did you tell her?" Peter spoke up

"I said no"

"WHAT?" the three said in unison

"What? She's not my type" Sirius explained

"Sirius, are you joking? That girl has been in love with you for ages, we all know you're perfect for each other" James looked at his friend like he was crazy

"No, she hasn't. I just don't think we'd be a good fit together, she's not really what I go for" He didn't want to hurt her feelings but he just didn't think she met what he wanted. Honestly, he didn't know what he wanted. He knew he was an attractive person and he knew that girls were attracted to him. As much as he hated sticking to the status quo, he seemed to always go for the girls who fit the beauty standard.

"Not your type? what, pretty and stupid?" Remus scoffed

"Hey I'm not saying Y/N's not pretty it's just, I don't think what people will think about me if we were together" he defended himself

"Aright, it's your life" James concluded before they went back to their original conversation

June 30th, 1978

The last day of school, 7th year.

Y/N was packing her trunk for the last time before she left Hogwarts, as much as she loved the place she was excited to start her future. The last year had been fairly normal, she had taken the year to get over Sirius. She thought she was silly for even entertaining the idea that they could ever be together. She knew how he was and just ignored it. It kinda helped that he hadn't spoken to her since the previous year.

She knew it was for the best, if she didn't worry about some dumb boy she could focus on who she was going to be in life. She planned on going to a muggle university as her mother did and study law.

She gave one last look at her dorm, where she spent the last seven years of her life. She casted a spell to have her trunk follow behind her as she left her room for the last time. Walking out of her common room passing all the other students who were saying goodbyes and excited for summer.

She walked down the grand staircase, dropping her trunk off with the others before heading to the train platform. She found a group of her close friends amongst the sea of students who are waiting to get on the Hogwarts express. They walked onto the train that was filled with kids who were excited to go home, finding the compartment they'd sat in for years as they talked about what they wanted to do over the summer.

The train ride went faster than she had hoped, she didn't when she would see her friends again. Getting off the train she saw kids reunite with their families, hugs, and smiles could be seen all over the platform. Y/N's parents always waited for her in the muggle part of the station, they didn't like running into people from their school days.

She gathers all her belongings and says her last goodbyes to her friends before heading to the portal. Pushing her trolly through the crowd, careful not to hit anyone's ankle she focused on making it off of the platform. She could see the red sign was a few feet away when a hang gently grasped her shoulder. She stopped in her tracks and turned to see who it was

"Y/N, I've been calling you," The boy said with a small smile, it was Sirius

"Sorry, I didn't hear you" She apologized, the situation was a little tense. They only spoke a few times since that day in potions class

"I wanted to talk to you before we left school but I couldn't find you" he started, Y/N didn't respond allowing him to continue. "I was thinking maybe you and I could hang out this summer, I don't know maybe go on a date or something," he said as nervously rubbed the back of his neck

Y/N couldn't help but give him a confused look, she had no idea why he was asking this now. "What? Where did all of this come from?" She asked moving her cart to the side to get out of people's way. He followed closely behind her as he continued the conversation

"I've been thinking about it all year, I was wrong to tell you that I didn't want to go out. Honestly, I wasn't thinking clearly, I'm sorry" He didn't want to go into too much detail on how much he'd actually been thinking about her.

He thought about her every day since she asked him out. He always thought she was cool, she was funny and kind and smart and she was always there for her friends he had only thought of her as a friend. Most of his relationships didn't last longer than three months so he never thought about what he'd want in a long-time partner.

Over the course of his 7th year, he thought about it more and when he did, the more Y/N checked off the boxes. His friends were right, she was perfect for him. He didn't realize that until recently and he was afraid he was too late but he had to ask anyway.

Y/N didn't know what to think, she had spent so long trying to get over him, and all of a sudden he was interested in her. She was quite irritated, why would he think she would be available for him whenever he wanted. She wasn't going to let that happen.

"Sirius, I honestly don't know what to say but I think it's best we don't see each other." She said calmly

"Why not?" It wasn't rare for him to hear 'no', it stung more coming from her mouth.

"I've spent so much time getting over you and you show up out of the blue with this offer. I'm sorry Sirius but it's not going to happen" she needed to get out of there as fast as possible, if she stayed another minute she was afraid she'd change her mind. She began pushing her cart back toward the entrance, before she got too far she turned around watching his face as he processed what happened. "Have a nice summer, Sirius"

She turned back around moving forward, he watched her get lost in the crowd.

Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry cordially invites you to the Class of 78's 10-year reunion! The Hogwarts Express leaves at 11 am, 1 July

The letter in Sirius' hands was slightly crumbled as had just dug it out of the bin. He received it last week and didn't know if he should go or not, he wasn't in the mood to interact with his old classmates. The last ten years have been rocky for Sirius. After leaving school, he traveled the world because it was something he always wanted to do. While he was in Germany he met a muggle woman and he fell for her quickly.

He had never been happier, their relationship moved very fast they were married within six months. It was going great for a while, he was still traveling but she wanted more. She asked him multiple times to move to Germany with her and start a family. It took a while for him to agree to this. A year into the marriage he moved to Germany to settle down, he got a job and was happy.

Over the course of the next five years, his marriage started to deteriorate, for some reason he and his wife couldn't have a child and she started to resent him for that. He tried everything he could to make her happy, he turned into a completely different person and it still wasn't enough. Finally, when he was tired of being in a loveless marriage he left and moved back to London.

His divorce was finalized four months ago, he's doing better now. He's happy to be home and close to his mates, James had gotten Lily to agree to marry him and they have a young boy. Remus finally got the chance to become a teacher like he always wanted, and peter is living a happy quiet life in the country.

Things were finally good.

He still didn't want to go to this reunion, having everyone ask what he had been up to for the past ten years wasn't his favorite conversation. But after a lot of convincing from James, he gave in.

He had a small carry-on in his hand as he walked out of his small flat and set off to King Cross where he would meet his friends. He just wanted to get this weekend over with.

When Y/N arrived at Kings Cross, she was excited to go back in time. She hadn't thought much about her years at the school since she left. She did exactly what she planned, she went to school and became a lawyer. A damn good one at that, she hasn't lost a case since she started her own firm. She was doing pretty good for herself.

She wasn't married, she had been single for a few years because of how busy her schedule was. None of her partners understood why she couldn't always be around. This caused a lot of distance in her relationships so she figured it was best just to ride solo for a while.

She had recently reconnected with her friend group from school, and they all talked about their lives. Some of them had kids and were married, Y/N felt a little sad that she couldn't brag about an amazing husband. She had always wondered what it would be like if she had settled down after school like everyone else, but she remembers how happy she has made herself. Maybe one day she'll find "the one".

Right now she and three of her old friends are sitting in the same compartment they did all those years ago. Slightly gossiping about everyone they've seen so far, everyone has changed so much. She was nervous about going, Hogwarts brings back so many memories all the good and the bad.

She forgot how long that train ride was, she found herself growing tired just a few hours in. She decided to take a nap so she would be refreshed when they got there.

When they finally arrived, everyone was eager to get off the train. Y/N had woken up an hour prior to arriving so she was ready to go. She stood from the bench seat and walked out of the compartment, her friends following close behind. Y/N followed the crowd off of the train, on the platform stood a very tall man, it felt just it did on her very first day at school.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts Class of '78, we have all missed you very much! Please make your way down to the boats." Hagrid's deep voice rang out

The now adults made their way down to the lake the same way they did when they were 11. Groups of four climbed into the boats and magically floated their way done the lake. The scene was just as beautiful as Y/N remembered.

Once everyone was off the boats everyone knew where to go, it was like muscle memory. Nothing about the castle had changed, it was beautifully lit up by torches along the corridors. The walls had been decorated with magical pictures of all of the students throughout their time at Hogwarts.

It made Y/N feel like she was a teenager again when all she had to worry about was turning in an assignment on time. Staying amongst her friend group they walked into the great hall which was always breathtaking. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the night sky, lit candles floated in the air lighting up the room. The floor was decorated similar to when they would have a dance, all the long tables were gone and replaced with smaller round ones decorated with soft table cloths.

There were snack tables on both sides of the room, everyone scattered around looking at all the nostalgic decorations. Y/N's friends had already found a table and sat down, when she arrived at the table her friends were whispering. Gossip.

"What are you guys talking about?" she asked taking a seat at the table

"Look over there, dear. Isn't that Sirius Black?" One of them said while pointing to a table across the room

Sirius Black. That was a name Y/N hadn't heard in years. She slowly turned her head so it wasn't obvious they were talking about him. When she finally found him, his eyes were already on her. This made her look away quickly, a wave of adrenaline washed over her. She hadn't felt that since the last day she saw him.

All of her memories of him came flooding in all at once, all the laughs and test answers they shared. The most prominent memory was him rejecting her. It didn't hurt as bad as it did back then, of course, it sucks to be rejected but she got over it. She realized how juvenile it was to think about what could've been but she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if they ever were together.

She shook the thoughts from her head, no, tonight we're in the moment. She thought to herself, she was going to enjoy herself this weekend.

A loud familiar voice filled the great hall causing everyone to look at the front of the room. Dumbledore stood at his podium as he always did when he gave a speech.

"Good evening class of '78, it's so wonderful to see all your faces again! Even though you're all grown up now, to me I still know you as the young kids running around the castle. Please enjoy yourself tonight, catch up enjoy the refreshments and live music. I shall be walking around to hear all of your adventures beyond this campus."

As soon as he stopped speaking a band started playing all the wizard music hits from their time at Hogwarts.

On the other side of the room, Sirius black is sitting at a table with his best mates. James hadn't shut up about how much he missed the school, Sirius tried his best to match his enthusiasm but he couldn't. Since he got there, he heard at least four different people talking about his divorce.

He noticed Y/N the second she walked in the door, she was absolutely beautiful. He always knew she was beautiful but seeing her in this place was like a breath of fresh air. He had to talk to her tonight, he had to know what she'd been doing all those years.

As the night progressed, Sirius kept finding himself stealing glances with Y/N. He watched her dance with her friends, he saw her talking to old teachers, he didn't know what happened to all the confidence he once had because he couldn't go up to her.

James had noticed his behavior, no matter what Sirius said he knew he never got over her.

"Sirius mate, just go talk to her," he said pulling his friend out of his thoughts "She probably forgot about everything that happened, go say hello"

"I don't know" Sirius sighed "What if she's married?"

"She's not" Lily, James' wife chimed in

"How do you know?" Sirius challenged

"Because I talked to her, now stop moping and go" the redhead demanded

"James, you're wife is very mean" he said as he stood from the table

"I know" James smiled kissing her on the cheek

Y/N was sitting at her table hydrating after dancing, her back was turned away from the crowd so she didn't see Sirius come up to her.

He tapped her shoulder causing her to lightly jump, when she turned around she was met with an older version of the boy she once knew.

"Hi" He greeted with a large smile

"Sirius, how are you?" she matched his grin

"I'm good, do you mind if I sit?" he asked pointing to the empty chair next to her

"Sure, go ahead"

Sirius sat down on the white chair, he didn't say anything for a few seconds before picking up the conversation

"So what've you been up to? It's been ages since I last saw you"

"Nothing much really, once I left school I went to law school now I have my own law firm," she said with no excitement because it was the twenty-something time she said it tonight.

"A lawyer? Wow, that's amazing!" He was so glad she was doing well in life, better than he was.

"It's not that great, it's a lot of work" she laughed "What about you? What've you been doing the last 10 years?"

He paused, he didn't want to lie and say it was great but he didn't want to ruin the moment. "It's been quite interesting actually" he nervously played with his fingers "I traveled for a while after graduating, then I got married and moved to Germany"

Married, great. She thought

"You live in Germany? That's so cool" she replied

"No no, not anymore" he laughed "I moved back to London when my wife and I spilt" he explained

"Oh" Y/N let slip "I'm sorry, I hope you're doing alright" she offered

"I am, thanks. I'm actually pretty happy right now" he smiled

For the next hour or so they talked about everything they could. It felt like they never lost that time, they felt as if they were still those friends in school. Somewhere through the hour, they migrated to the dance floor. They were a respectable amount of distance apart, Sirius' hands were on her waist, her arms loosely wrapped around his shoulders. they continued their conversation as they danced

"Y/N, can I be honest with you?" Sirius asked randomly

"Go for it" she said as she swayed to the music

"I honestly don't know why I ever let you go"

She stopped dancing, she scanned his face for any sign that he was lying

"Sirius that was years ago, it's okay" she laughed lightly

"I know I know, I just wish I had gone on that date with you" he smirked

Y/N thought for a minute, maybe this was her chance to see what could've been

"Well, you can always go on a date with me now"

"Really?" he was taken aback that she would say that

"Yeah, why not? You can finally see what you had missed out on all those years ago" she teased

"Let's go then" he said grabbing her hand and running out of the great hall

They went through all the corridors and all the unlocked classrooms reminiscing on their days at the school. At the end of their self-guided tour, they ended up at the top of the astronomy tower.

"This place always had the best view" Y/N said as she stood next to Sirius at the railing looking out at the night sky

"Yeah, it does" Sirius agreed, but he wasn't talking about the stars. He moved slightly closer to her, close enough to where their arms touched. "I'm glad I got to see you again" he said softly

"I am too," she said looking into his eyes

"Maybe when we go home, I can take you on a proper date" Sirius suggested

"I'd like that" Y/N smiled softly, she couldn't help but flicker her eyes down to his lips.

He noticed. He leaned in closer, their noses softly brushed against each other. Right as their lips were about to connect, a loud cough could be heard causing the two to pull away.

"Mr. Black, Ms. L/N it's past curfew" Dumbledore started "Please see your way back to your dorms"

"Yes professor" They said, sounding like children who got caught doing something they weren't supposed to. They both hurried their way down the large staircase, a little out of breath but they were out of Dumbledore's view.

"Now, where were we?" Sirius asked as he gripped Y/N's waist pulling her in for a passionate kiss.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fluff #sirius black x you #sirius black angst #sirius black #sirius black fanfiction #marauders x reader #marauders fanfiction #harry potter

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srslyarts · 2 years ago

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winner in my heart !!

I have seen (slash made) enough jokes about these two being tumblr sexymen to let it pass without comment. i can and will pit two queens against each other

#ok sorry for the reupload i had to fix a lil something sdfbjsdhbfhjsd #ANYWAY 1415 SWEEP LETS GOOOOO!!#saph draws #saphstuffs

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lunasilveria · 2 years ago

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Let him rest

(sorry I had to reupload because I forgot something and had to fix some stuff hfjhfjhs)

#Artcie #Xiao #Venti #Barbatos #Xiaoven #Genshin

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shinsouscatpisssmell · 2 years ago

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Screwed up

Paring:atsumu X chubby!housewife!reader

Warnings:just angst

Summary: reader prepares something special for atsumu since his loss at a Volleyball tournament. Hurtful words are said making it all fall apart.

An// sooooo I accidentally deleted my entire tumblr soooooo I’m reuploading stories <3 and some I have to write entirely!

It took all week to make these plans but everything came out just perfect. Having tidied the house and set up a nice dinner in front of the tv for when your husband comes home.

Truthfully it has been a hard couple of days for him since he's been training nonstop since losing a championship game so you wanted to do something to get him to relax.

Putting face mask and a tray of sliced cucumbers on a little portable tray on one side of the couch alongside some of his favorite snacks and putting out his favorite movies in a row. You lay a two matching blankets on the arms of the couch as you knew he would probably want to take a nap during the movie. As if on cue, the sound of the front door's locks click open as finishing up putting his favorite takeout on some plastic plates so you both wouldn't have to bother with dishes. Smiling at the set up as chest rises with pride mixed with excitement to see his reaction.

Nearly hopping to stand in front of him, "how was your day baby?" You ask frowning inwardly seeing his eye bags wanting to kiss them away from drooping shoulders.

"It was ok, hard as always." He says tiredly.

You hum in agreement, " well I got something to fix that, my love! I set up your favorite food, I got snacks, and face mask because I know your pores have been struggling with all the sweat and heat from running around a hot gym —, are you listening?"

" uh,yeah. That sounds great,(y/n) but I was hoping to just enjoy your cooking and take a hot bath and go to bed to start my days off." He rubs his eyes making you tap your toes with anticipation so he could see the set up you made.

"Well actually I got takeout! It's your fa-" you were cut off by the sound of him clicking his tongue against his teeth.

"Takeout? You couldn't have cooked or something? God knows you don't do anything else in this house! I'm the one keeping a roof over our heads."

There's a song in your heart and you start to fidget with your fingers, " I know,baby! That's why I got it and set it up in front the tv so we could watch some movies together and spend time with eachother!"

He rolls his eyes," I see you everyday in the same house and spend hours with you before and after I go train, isn't that enough? I just want to be alone for Christ sake. Two minutes! Is that hard to ask for?"

"No, baby but I-I just wanted to watch a movie together because-"

"Then just watch it yourself, I'm going to get in the bath and go to bed." He brushes past you and you feel your world break your eyesight gets blurry and you can't stop playing with your fingers looking down at your at feet in the same position that you were in.

Breathing gets heavy as you try to hold back your emotions rushing to your shared bedroom to get some pajamas and your phone before going into a spare room and cuddling up to a pillow and with the covers trying to muffle your whimpering cries and hiccups.

The tub gets drained of water as Atsumu miya wraps a towel around his waist and one to dry his hair as he walks into the bedroom he shares with you, " hey sweets, you know where my shorts are at?" The towel blocking his vision he shoots it into the dirty clothes hamper in the corner waiting for a response but in return getting nothing.

He looked over to the bed and didn't see your figure there and he started to remember how he snapped at you. Feeling a tug at his heart. He had quickly dressed himself walking into the living room where the tv screen had emitted a light on the couch and he slowly walks up behind it as to not disturb you, "lovely? I'm sorry about earlier I didn't mean to snap at ya'. You don't deserve that especially wit ya' not being the cause of me losing that match." He's met with nothing but silence, " how 'bout we watch that movie you were talkin' about earlier, hm? " still nothing, "baby girl? (Y/n)?" He turns on the light and peeks over at the couch to see not you but empty cushions and the set up you had made.

He dug Through snack bucket you had made and nothing but his favorites aside from a little bit of yours was contained in it along with the mini facial station you had prepped with all your tools and sliced cucumbers that you knew he loved the feeling on his eyes. His gaze goes to the the table that does indeed has his #1 takeout spot. He grabs the little white blank card that was placed between it.

' I know you've been having a hard week 'tsumu because of the game last week so I made you a small relaxation date for for a king! I love you, and remember you'll always be my favorite champion.' It ended with a a heart drawn in blue ink and a kiss from you.

It made him sigh as he runs his hands through his hair and throws his head back.

"I really fucked up...bad,"a sudden intrusion made him jump up, "but where is she? She wouldn't just leave,right?" He rushes back into the bedroom to grab his phone. He sees none of your stuff missing and the coat you always wear is still hanging up in the closet , "It's fucking freezin' out there she going to get a cold." He unlocks the phone and calls your cell while simultaneously trying to shove his feet in his shoes before he hears the ringtone you had placed for him.

He sighs in relief and follows the sound before coming face to face a shut door. As the song ceased he could hear your hoarse cries and he wants to punch himself even more for making you into that much of a mess. He knocks on the door. He could hear it get your attention as the cries becomes even softer, "(y/n?) I'm so sorry baby." He tries to open the door but you had locked it making him press his forehead against the cold brown wood, "just open the door and we could talk, ok?" He says gently.

"No Atsumu. I just want to be left alone." Your rejection makes him frown.

He tries to twist and turn the door knob again as if it would magically open for the 3rd or 4th time he tried, "c'mon (y/n), I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled! We can watch that movie you wanted,ok? I'll cuddle you up all nice and cozy on the couch." He bargains.

"Go watch it yourself, Atsumu! I just don't wanna be around you right now." You shot back.

He lets go of the door knobs as his heart sours at the same words he used towards you, "ok, baby. I'm right out here if you need anything, alright?" He places his hand against the door for a solid minute before pulling it away and dragging his feet over to the couch.

He grabs a pillow and fluffs it up before laying on it covering up with his blanket you had put out that you had sprayed perfume on making him cuddle up to it more as it helped him believe it was you along with your matching blanket close to his chest to get the feeling that it was you all snuggled up to his chest like every other night. except it didn't. It only makies it hard for him to sleep without your comforting warmth heating up his body on the cold nights with your feet entangled together as he gently kisses your forehead letting your bodies sink into the plushness of the mattress you had picked out. No Atsumu miya was stuck with only the warmth of a blanket instead of a spouse and the only love he could see was on some tv drama you we're watching before he had come home. Best to say he didn't sleep until late that night.

#x reader #x chubby reader #x plus size reader #hq atsumu #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x female reader #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x plus size reader #haikyuu x chubby reader

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clubdionysus · 6 months ago

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[BAD DECISION #19] Send To All

warnings: plot stuff!! no smut!!! another cw: jiyeong lol

a/n: this header not being square drives me insane and i could fix it but reuploads are laborious enough as it is lol

soundtrack: self-sabotage - waterparks (this is one of THE bd songs for me hehe)

wc: 3.5k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

If time flies when you're having fun, then you think it's fair to say you're having the worst day of your life.

Okay, so that's a little dramatic, but your shift has been excruciatingly slow; the hands of the clock above the door taunting you every time you glance in its direction. Admittedly, you are looking at it every 10 seconds or so, which is making it a hell of a lot more disappointing than it really ought to be.

From the desk, Hoseok watches you with sympathetic intrigue. You've cleaned the same empty table four times now just for something to do. Work is quiet, so distractions are limited.

You had only picked up an extra shift so you that didn't have to spend the entire afternoon letting your imagination run wild thinking about Jeongguk's date - but apparently, your mind didn't get the memo.

The thoughts trundle around your boardgame brain; passing 'go', collecting £200. It skips over the chance card tiles, and opts out of buying anything other than Mayfair. It's the only property you want, and yet you never seem to land on it. Sucks, but such is life.

"You'll wear a hole through the table if you keep scrubbing at it," Hoseok says softly as he takes the cloth from you.

"Sorry," you hum. An awkward smile is offered, as loose hairs fall around your face, glitter caught in the strands that dance in the low evening light. You're even more haphazard than usual today, Hoseok thinks. You choose to explain it away. "Just nervous about Tae's show. That's all. Trying to get a head start on things."

"It's an art space," he says warmly, not wanting you to think he's being critical. The way he smiles is gentle; the creases in the corner of his eyes are even more so. "No one is expecting it to be free of paint. If anything, quite the opposite."

He's right. You know it. It's why you make no opposition when he encourages you back to the desk, and guides you into the chair by the till. There's only one couple in the far corner. Young. Teenagers, maybe. You wonder if they'll make it through university. Likely not.

Cynical bint, you berate yourself. Plenty of people stay with their high school sweethearts. You'd met potentially the best example you'd ever seen of the cliche last night, in the form of the Min's.

You understand entirely why Yoongi adores Seoyeon, so. There had been an ease to her acceptance of you; as if she was inherently meant to nurture those around her, no matter how unfamiliar they may be. By the time you had left the Min's - a little tipsy and with Jeongguk's arm around your shoulders - you'd felt a warm sense of belonging in her company.

There's quiet concern on Hoseok's face a little while later as he watches you dip your bagel into a pot of cream cheese.

The magnitude of his concern only increases when you sink your teeth into the bread and tear it apart. You're like a tiger ripping apart raw flesh, he thinks.

The scowl that settles on your lips as you chew is only wiped away when you take a sip of your coffee - but there's still a frown polluting your expression.

It's sort of cute how your cheek bulges from the sheer amount of bagel your manage to stuff in there, but Hoseok's worried you'll choke.

"Want a knife?" he asks as you dip the bagel back into the pot.

You look at him - bagel clamped between your teeth, just about to be torn in two - and scowl. Yanking the bagel, you tear it even further apart. He gulps. Shouldn't have asked. Never interrupt a girl and her food. He knows this. Should have known better.

It's just a bad mood, you think. No need for Hoseok to look at you as if you have three heads.

Just a bad mood.

Across town, in a ceramic painting place you've been following on Instagram for ages now but have never visited, Jeongguk laughs.

There's a dimple sitting prettily in his cheek, his teeth on full display, nose a little bit scrunched. He's trying to be quiet - doesn't want to distract the rest of the people in the pottery studio - but there's something so damn funny about Jiyeong's inability to paint anything that even remotely resembles a frog.

She pouts, and lowers her brush. "Stop! I'm trying!"

But then she smiles, too.

No one else notices. They're all far too distracted by their own masterpieces.

It's annoying, because Jeongguk really has created a masterpiece.

Having both been totally clueless as to what to decorate their mugs with, the ceramics instructor suggested taking inspiration from their favourite childhood fairytales. Jeongguk had gone for Little Red Riding Hood - Jiyeong had taken great pleasure in telling him she'd been Little Red for Halloween - and Jiyeong had gone for the Princess and the Frog.

"I know," he grins, as he tries to pretend as if it's not the most god-awful frog he's ever seen. It's kinda cute. In a hideous, kind of way. "You're doing great - no! Really. You are it. It's like... an abstract version of the story."

"Look," she sighs, her pretty face all pouty and perfect despite her hardships. The smile on her face is genuine, and Jeongguk is sort of glad that she's not great at the whole 'art' thing. He doubts it would be half as much fun if she was any good. "Your friend never mentioned there'd be art involved - I fucking suck at arty things."

"Art is subjective-" he goes to reassure her, but she's having none of it. Shakes her head as she laughs. Makes him laugh too. It's easy. The flirting, the fooling around like kids in art class. Almost nostalgic. She's exactly the kind of girl he'd have gone for in his younger years - confident, a reckless tease, remarkably tactile. It makes him wonder why he ever strayed from his 'type'.

Hayun had been a bit of an anomaly. Different. She was a quiet one - cautious, but casual. Funny in a way that Jeongguk couldn't quite understand, but desperately wanted to. Reserved. His childishness had often been met with rolled eyes, and the lack of clear indication about her feelings made him insecure. Put him on edge. Even when they started hooking up. Actually, no. Especially when they had started hooking up.

His strangeness has been making a welcome comeback as of late, as noted by Yoongi a few months ago in Dionysus. You've helped in immeasurable ways. Ways you won't ever be able to understand.

It's Jiyeong's openness - the way she touches his arm, how she dabs at his fingers with her paintbrush - that lets him know she's interested. It stifles the fear. Fills him with confidence.

"You're allowed to say I suck," she grins, leaning into him a little bit. The scent of her perfume picks up in the electric heater, and he finds that he likes it. It's not his favourite, no, but it's pretty nice. Citrusy. He prefers things a little warmer, a little more vanilla. Toasted coconut. Sweet.

He momentarily loses his train of thought. Thinks about the way your hair had smelt in the bakery aisle of the supermarket. Thinks about the way he always lets his nose nestle into the crown of your head before you shower together. Thinks about your room, and how it smells like that - sweet, coconutty - and how the last time he'd been in your room, he'd been inside of-

NOPE.

That thought is very quickly pushed deep down into the darkness of his brain. He can't be thinking about that . Not now.

"Yeah, it's pretty fucking bad," he nods instead, turning his attention back to her mug.

It's impossible for her to take offence when he looks as sweet as he does. He's in a white shirt - bad choice, considering there are speckles of paint all over his arms and even a tiny bit on his cheek - and black slacks, but the look is pulled off so well.

In fact, his outfit is borderline identical to what he wore to the Min's. You'd said he'd looked good. Said that it would be a good date outfit. And so he'd listened, and had been proven right when Jiyeong complimented his style choice within the first five minutes of the date.

Admittedly, he'd complimented her first. Said that she looked nice, after about a thousand awkward, bashful smiles and half a dozen 'this is so weird,' and just as many 'I'm so sorry she forced you into this.'

Jiyeong had smiled, and assured him it was okay. "I'm glad she did."

And as Jeongguk meets you outside the gym the following morning, he can't help but agree.

He's still got a glow about him; fresh-faced and unwavering despite the rigorous workout you know he must have had. Part of you is glad. Him being at the gym means she at least didn't stay over - which would have been totally fine! You absolutely wouldn't have minded. Wouldn't have bothered you in the slightest . In fact, maybe it would have been better if she had stayed-

Okay, you can't even convince yourself that you believe it, but that's not the point.

He walks with his hands stuffed in his trouser pockets, shoulders a little hunched from the cold air. He's missing a jacket, which is unlike him, you think. You can't tell if there's a blush on his cheeks or if it's just windburn. Maybe both.

"Hello, Casanova," you greet him, smile fond, eyes earnest. The words are lively and melodic as they dance from your lips to his ears, yet the strings of your heart seem to pluck a little out of tune. You just need to adjust them slightly. Tune them. That's all.

"Don't call me that," he shakes his head - but he's smiling. There's a shyness to him. It's not all too unfamiliar, but it's something you've not seen in a while.

"So?" You beam, pushing it aside as you both begin to walk in the direction of 'home'. "How did it go?"

Jeongguk nods as he tries to formulate words. There's a smile on his lips. You can hear it as he speaks. "Good. Yeah... yeah, no, good. Really fun, actually."

"Okay, no, stop being coy," you laugh. "Give me details!"

Jeongguk pauses for a second as he tries to get a read on your face. There's nothing outwardly wrong, he thinks, but he notices that you're avoidant. Your eyes don't linger on his. The smile that comes with your laughter doesn't last as long as it usually does. He doesn't like it.

So he gives you what you ask for, because he thinks that might help. Maybe you've been nervous for him. It's his fault - he forgot to text you back last night, having gone for drinks after the ceramics place. Time had slipped away from him.

He tells you everything - how bad she is at painting (you enjoy this, because you like being better than her at least at something), how she'd suggested a drink afterwards, and how he'd walked her home at 2 AM because apparently neither of them wanted to stop talking. He tells you how he hadn't been brave enough to do anything other than walk, but she'd moaned about the cold and so he'd given her his jacket.

Poor Jeongguk had been so warm from soju and giddy from a date gone well that he hadn't even realised he was jacketless until he was about halfway home.

It explains his lack of a jacket now. You've a heat pack in your pocket. Part of you tells you not to pass it over to him. Would serve him right for being so careless.

And as much as you enjoy being a bitch, you also don't enjoy hearing his teeth chatter together. You say nothing as you pass it over, and push him toward the alleyway that leads up to his favourite brunch spot. At least going there will get him out of the cold.

"I'm so happy for you," you smile. You don't think you're lying. "I told you that you could do it!"

Jeongguk is slow in his reply again, almost as if he's weary of saying the wrong thing. It comes from a place of fear; memories of Hayun, and her reaction the first time Jeongguk had started seeing someone during their friendship. It had been before anything had developed between the pair of them, but it was the first time he'd clued up to the fact maybe she'd have been interested in more.

If he were to explain this, you'd tell him to fuck off for associating you so closely with her. You've never met her, but have convinced yourself that you couldn't be less like her even if you tried. You're nothing like the girl who broke his heart, and you never intend on being anything like her, either.

Then again, can't break his heart if the pair of you never fall for each other - and given the giddy smile on his lips all thanks to Jiyeong, you highly doubt that would ever be an option, anyways.

Seeing him like this - hopeful - makes your heart swell. He deserves happiness. Deserves the world. Or at least, deserves someone who makes him feel like he has the whole world in his palm whenever he holds them close.

"I owe you," he beams, as he beelines for his favourite booth, passing a quick nod to the cashier as she welcomes your arrival. It's so warm in the cafe that Jeongguk thinks he might die. The sudden temperature change is torture. "She, uh - she actually asked if I wanted to hang out next weekend, too. Obviously, I said no-"

"NO?! Obviously?!" You almost shriek, the back of your hand gently smacking against his arm. "You said no?! I thought you said it went well?!"

"It did!"

You don't understand why he's shrieking too, when he's the one who's gone and fucked up all of your hard work.

"Then why the fuck would you say no?!"

"Because!" he interrupts before you go off on a tangent, without hearing him out. "Next weekend is Tae's art show. Show on Saturday, and Sunday is free in case we get fucked up afterwards."

He shakes his head towards you, eyes wide, brows lifted, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world - and now that he's mentioned it, you think he's right.

Good, old, dependable Jeongguk. Wouldn't forget his friend's important events for anything. Not even one of the hottest girls in the whole downtown area could make him forget.

Though if you said this out loud, he'd smirk, and tell you that one of the hottest girls in the downtown area is the reason he remembers.

But it's Tae's event, not yours. He knows that you'd tell him off for framing things in such a way. Plus, the date with Jiyeong really did go well. The idea of acting a little sleazy just for a cheap joke doesn't appeal to him. It would feel distasteful.

And yet it feels wrong not to make the joke. A week ago? He would have done. Your dynamic, though largely unchanged, is different now. There are boundaries that come with dating; ones that he knows damn well to respect, no matter how early on it is.

He never wanted things between you to change. He'd have happily kept things as they were.

Progress has been made, though; a purpose has been served.

He'd never describe your friendship as transactional, but it seems to have worked out that way.

Makes him feel guilty. The feeling simmers in his stomach as he sits beside you, nibbling at his bottom lip. His hands are stuffed into his trouser pockets as he reclines into his chair; a little closed off, but not enough to make you question it.

It's only when you reach over to nudge him - and say, 'hey?' - that he realises he's completely zoned out.

"Hmm?"

"Invite her," you say softly. "To Tae's event. Invite her along. We could do with more guaranteed attendees, and I'm gonna be schmoozing people all night with Tae, so at least you'll have someone to keep you company."

Plus Nabi's invited and you really don't fancy having to deal with her. If Jiyeong can win her over, that's one less thing you have to worry about.

"Invite her?"

"Yeah?"

"You sure?"

"No," you say with so much sarcasm Jeongguk can't help but smile. "I just said it for the fun of saying things."

"That is the kind of thing you'd do," he defends with a cheeky little grin as he sits up straighter. "I just don't wanna... I don't know. Move too fast?"

"It's not like you're inviting her to meet your parents - unless you've also invited them to Tae's?"

"No," he laughs. "Of course I haven't."

"Then you're golden," you assure him.

An extra attendee is an extra attendee at the end of the day. Hell, you think you'd even let Hayun through the door if it looked better for Tae.

"On the subject of golden," Jeongguk sighs as he gets to his feet. "French toast? Iced Americano?"

You nod. Smile a little bashfully. Hate that he knows you so well. Watch him as he walks away, and admire his ass a little (in a friendly way). He's just been at the gym working on it, so you tell yourself he'd appreciate the 'appreciation'.

Your eyes are drawn from his 'assets' when his phone vibrates on the table. You don't let them linger, but you see very clearly that it's an incoming message from Jiyeong. You're not sure it would be considered 'friendly' if you 'accidentally' dropped his phone into the coffee of the woman sitting behind you, but you consider it for a moment. An impulsive thought. That's all. Like when you're driving, and think about the fact you could swerve off the road, or like when Jeongguk gets too close and you think that maybe you could kiss him.

Not anymore, though. That ship has sailed. Lost at sea. Never to be found again. Maybe one day, many many years from now, explorers will find the lost treasure: gold-adorned artworks, swathes of origami birds and more glitter than any single ship could ever hold. Or maybe they won't.

Maybe you're romanticising something that never was for something it will never be.

Who knows? Best not to tempt fate with such mindless dillydallying.

Especially not when you know you're gonna spend the next half an hour convincing him to text her back and just bloody invite her to the show.

You're not sure if you should be pleased or disappointed when it only takes fifteen minutes to convince him. Pleased, you suppose. That's what you tell him you are, at least.

And pleased is also what he is when she replies immediately saying that she'd 'love' to come. Asks for a dress code and a ticket price. Wastes no time. Keen .

(If you were gonna be a bitch (which for some reason is coming naturally today) you'd think she was desperate (but then you remind yourself that you set up this date (with her (because you knew she was keen (can hardly be annoyed about it now, can you? (Stupid))))).

"Cocktail dress, and no ticket price," you smile, as if your brain isn't exhausting you. "She's your plus one. Mates rates."

He asks if you're sure. You tell him yes.

You don't tell him that you've already put the cost of two tickets - yours and his - in the kitty. Everyone else is paying. The pair of you were never going to be an exception - supporting Tae's show is more important than an extra 15,000won in your bank account. You'll just add a little extra for Jiyeong's ticket. No biggie.

Once brunch is done, and Jeongguk has just about finished teasing you for texting the details of Tae's show to Seokjin (you thought the 'send to all' function could be your friend, but forgot that your own inability to delete his number is your biggest flaw), you head in separate directions. Both heading home.

And yet as Jeongguk presses his bedroom door shut only to see a paper bird propped up by his pillows, he can't help but feel like home is across the other side of the city.

Strange.

Not really, though.

Not when you're flopping face-first onto your bed with a groan, and a mumble of an acknowledgement that you'd really rather Jeongguk not bring his new squeeze along.

"Wassup?" Danbi calls through from her room.

Rolling onto your back, you sigh. Look at your ceiling, that's void of birds, and ignore the message that comes through from Seokjin, finally responding to the show invite.

"We have any wine in the fridge?" You call back through to her.

"Always."

"Wanna get fucked up?"

Danbi laughs. You hear her head to the kitchen, and the clink of wine glasses gently knocking together as she opens up the fridge. "Always."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

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captaingus265 · 6 months ago

Text

Don't Worry. It's not too serious. Just things falling apart as usual. (I do plan to do more art since now I got back into the swing of things. and sorry for the reupload, I had to fix something with the art.)

#my art #toontown online #toontown rewritten #toontown

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arcadekitten · 1 year ago

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Hi! I’m sorry if this is a really boring question, but if you don’t mind getting into the more technical/legal side of things, what licence do you recommend that a indie dev takes for their game? Like so you don’t end up with people stealing your art and selling it </3

Aw it isn't boring!! I'm happy to help with this!!

Now, disclaimer that I'm not exactly a legal expert. However, I assume you're coming to me about licenses because you're looking to upload your game on itch.io? (Congratulations if you made it to this step by the way!!)

The licenses listed on itch.io's page are more about redistribution. For example, if you're uploading custom code/assets on itch.io for other people to download and use in their own projects, you might want to apply a specific license that tells others what they're allowed to do with the code/assets after they downloaded(like if they're allowed to change anything, etc).

You wouldn't really do this for a complete, consumable product.

Quoted from https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html

"Your work is under copyright protection the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form that it is perceptible either directly or with the aid of a machine or device."

And next from https://choosealicense.com/no-permission/

"When you make a creative work (which includes code), the work is under exclusive copyright by default. Unless you include a license that specifies otherwise, nobody else can copy, distribute, or modify your work without being at risk of take-downs, shake-downs, or litigation."

While you can't physically prevent someone from trying to steal your work, there's no extra steps you need to take to try and tell them they can't. Once you make something (art, writing, code, a game, etc) YOU own it. And if someone tries to steal it, they don't have an excuse unless you gave them explicit permission to take it.

For example, I've had people reupload INMIMB onto itch.io once it got popular (I don't understand why as they weren't charging for it and the game was already free, but whatever). I emailed itch.io linking the stolen game pages and my own game page, where they could clearly see mine was uploaded first, and they removed the stolen game pages.

INMIMB wasn't listed under any license. But because I made it, I have copyright over it, I own it, and they did not have the right to steal it--so the reupload pages were removed.

Of course, you still might not be able to prevent it from being stolen or shared elsewhere, but know that your game still belongs to YOU and you don't have to apply any extra license to it to try and protect it. It's already yours.

#gamedev #ask

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via-rant · 1 year ago

Text

Reuploading Chapter 5! Changed a lot about it! Gave it more thought! Here!

Percy felt sick to his stomach, looking at his shoulder, gushing with blood. His eyes darted up at Luke. What had he done to these kids that they'd turn out like this?

Luke looked at Leo in horror. He opened his mouth like he was gonna say something, but it's like he didn't know what to say.

Then, of course, there was Nico. He looked like he was about to cry. "Leo, please. Don't hurt him."

Leo gripped the knife tighter. "He let your sister die, why shouldn't I hurt him?"

Percy swallowed thickly. It was true, he hadn't been fast enough, strong enough. He should've protected her. He should've been the one to die. This was only fair.

Nico took Leo's hand in his own. "I... I don't want him to get hurt. Please, I..." He got choked up, and broke down in front of his best friend.

Leo opened his arms and let Nico fall into them. "It's the only way, Nico. We both know it. It's the only way for us to win."

Nico hated this. He wished there was a way to leave without going back to the gods. To try and topple them over without relying on the titans. He knew they'd be trading one set of dictators for another if they kept on like this.

Leo held him tighter. "Besides, it's not like he'll let us live."

That angered Percy more than anything, and he spoke through the pain.

"You really think... I'm heartless enough to kill you two?" He asked. "You're just kids. And Nico..." He sighed. "... Nico, all I've ever wanted was to protect you. I'm sorry I failed."

Nico was torn, and confused, and just wished he didn't have to choose.

Luke stepped forward. "I guess we're not that different, then." Luke held out a hand, offering it to Percy.

Don't do this. Please. You're my most valuable asset.

"So you finally admit it." Luke admitted under his breath. "You're powerless without me."

You'll regret this insolence, boy! I'll make your life hell!

Percy took his hand and pulled himself up. "... Does this mean you're coming back?"

Luke thought for a moment. He didn't want to face Chiron again, didn't want to be expected to admit he was wrong, to suck up to the olympians. But if that's what it took to ensure these kids' safety...

"... Fine." He brought Percy over to the cot Leo had been laying in, fixing up his arm.

This better be a trap. You better be spying.

Leo glared up at Luke. "So you're just gonna let him back into our lives when he screwed everyone over!?" His hands balled into fists by his sides. "You're a joke."

He's right.

Luke cut a length of bandage. "He's right. It's safer over there. Better food, real beds and wooden structures instead of tents. And an actual medbay instead of just letting you fend for yourselves when you're sick or hurt."

"Is that it?" Percy asked. "You're not coming back because you've realized you're wrong?"

Luke shrugged. "You actually take care of each other over there. The whole reason I left is because I was sick of the gods leaving us to fend for ourselves, but we do the same thing here. Survival of the fittest and all that."

Percy nodded thoughtfully, watching the bandage wrap around his arm. He still didn't trust Luke, but he was willing to do whatever got these kids to safety. Percy wondered why the other kid, Leo, look so hurt and watched as he stormed out in anger, Nico following him. They just noticed Faith at the tent looking confused and scared.

-------

"Leo what's wrong?" Nico asked following him close behind.

" 'What's wrong?!' We're watching our leader turn against us, that's what!"

"They hurt you. You passed out, he's protecting us."

" 'Protecting us'?! What?! Like Agnus?!" Leo yelled and Nico glared. Agnus is a guy they trusted. They became friends and he used them, framed them for drug use.

"That's different." Nico said, sounding like he was going to cry again.

"Oh, it's different! It's always different!" Leo yelled and Nico glared harder. He didn't know what that meant but he could tell he heard it a lot. Maybe he said it a lot. And he did. He's trusted over and over and over and they all ended up with him heartbroken. And he had that same feeling with Luke now. He's not ignoring it again.

"We can. Trust him." Leo had smoke coming from his arms but neither noticed.

"No! You can trust him! How am I supposed to trust a guy who used kids?!"

"He saved my life! He just saved yours!"

"He probably only did it because he felt obligated to!"

"He's been taking care of us!"

"Just like everyone else here! You think we're special?!"

"Woah woah woah boys!" Faith said running to them. She didn't hear anything they said except the last few sentences. And she saw the smoke coming from Leo. His arms, legs, hair. She heard commotion over here with swords and came over as fast as she could when she heard them arguing. She took a breath.

"Nico? Why don't you go see Luke? I need to talk with Leo." Nico stormed off to the tent wiping his tears and kicking rocks on the way as cracks showed up in the ground under his feet. Faith looked back at Leo and sat in front of him.

"What?" He asked holding back tears. She pat the spot in front of her and he rolled his eyes but did what she said in an angrier way, knees to his chest, picking at the grass next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Nothing!" He yelled and she sat quietly in concern. She waited until he was calmed down just a bit. The smoke clearing with each piece of grass he ripped out of the ground.

"You know I'd never hurt you. Right? You can talk to me." She said and it was a few seconds before Leo sighed.

"I met dad."

"Oh! Really? When?"

"In my dream." She smiled.

"Was I right?" And he laughed a little. "Yeah you were right. It's 'Hephy'." He used finger quotes and frowned, wiping his tears and she frowned with him. She debated asking about the smoke but decided against it. Focus on helping him relax.

"What happened?"

"He watched. My entire life he watched and did nothing." He hugged his legs tighter. "And now Luke is leaving and you guys saw the smoke and I might have just ruined mine and Nicos friendship." He was crying at this point.

"I fucking stabbed someone, Faith! What is wrong with me?!" He yelled then hid his head in his knees.

"Mi Tía tenía razón. Soy el diablo (My aunt was right. I am the devil)." He cried and she didn't know what he said but she knew what to say about the other things. He started to calm himself down.

"Hun, there is nothing wrong with you. You learned something horrible and reacted. Also you and Nico just had an arguement. That happens sometimes. Friends have arguements. You just need to apologize and make up for it however you can." She assured and he wiped his tears taking deep breaths. Then she thought about the other things she saw, things he mentioned.

"What about the smoke?"

"It's not just smoke. It's fire. I hate it. I have no control over it and get too worked up about something and I always end up hurting someone."

"So you don't use it?"

"What if I lose control again?"

"Leo, it's better to use it more. The more you use it, the more practice you have with it. Learn to control it so you don't hurt the good people when you do use it."

"How?"

"I can look in my archives. Maybe I can find something there." Leo made a face of disgust.

"Boring."

"You read."

"Fantasy books, ma'am. With action and adventure. Not text books." He said and she rolled her eyes with a smile as he laughed. Especially at ma'am. Being Trans was really hard here. People respected her but only when they knew it was her. Anyone who didn't know her just immediately thought she was a guy. Short hair (all the woman had to cut their hair short due to the lack of supplies they had) taller, more muscular than a woman. She didn't have any satisfaction of any HRT or surgeries due to her family kicking her out as soon as she said those words, so her voice sounded "manly" too. Leo understood. He told her about being born a girl when she told him.

She shook her head knowing she was getting off topic. Then thought about the last thing he said.

"One more thing Leo." She asked and he raised a brow. "What do you mean by Luke is leaving?" He told her what happened since he woke up and she stared in heartbreak.

"I'll uh... I'll talk to him and we can come up with something." She said when he finished explaining.

"Come on. Let's go check on Nico first. Then bed time. It's getting late." He nodded and stood up before hugging her. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders - as she was still sitting down - which surprised her. He didn't let anyone else but Nico touch him unless they needed to. This means he trusted her. She smiled and hugged back. They lasted for about a minute before walking back to the tent, Leo ignoring the voice in the back of his head.

-------

The first part is by @moa-broke-me !!

@yonemurishiroku @pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid @potatoman-taterdude @the-demigod-slytherclaw @im-always-lost-in-a-book @stillcarmine @art-randomness @cryptic-ember

#obrumbratio scintillae #leo valdez #nico di angelo #valdangelo #percy jackson #luke castellan #faith port #trans #trangender #trans leo valdez #transfem #transmasc

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finn-m-corvex · 1 year ago

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Jaya Week 2023 Day 6: Sunset

It is 1:30 A.M. but I finished it! Today was busy or else I would've had it out sooner, sorry about that everyone. This one was a lot of fun to write though! I took the idea that I had for Day 4 and put it here, and I mixed it with a scene from Day 1, so if you haven't read Day 1 go to my masterpost and check it out! Not a lot of dialogue in this one, but I've noticed that most of the stuff I write from Nya's perspective lacks dialogue because I think of her as an observer more than a talker. These also just keep getting longer and longer, geez.

Words: 3.6k

No TWs!

[REUPLOAD!]

Nya exhaled, leaning on the ledge of the lighthouse to look out at the rolling sea hundreds of feet below. The breeze blew away the loose strands of her hair that she hadn’t wrangled into a short ponytail, and Nya shivered despite the heavy sweatshirt on her shoulders. She always forgot how cold the breeze was that came off of the sea.

Despite being the water ninja, Nya had never felt a large connection with the sea. Ignacia was too far away from the coast to ever visit when she and Kai were kids, and even if it were closer they still would’ve had to manage the shop. The funds most likely wouldn’t have been there either. She had gotten to visit the ocean once they had joined the other Ninja, but her experiences there had been…less than pleasant, to say the least.

Instead, Nya found most of her comforts in the sky; it was why blue was her favorite color. Every day she would look out of her window at the shop, watching as the pale sky would gradually go from blue to orange to red until night finally fell. It was a comfort to know that some things in the world would never change: the sun would never stop rising, and the moon would never stop trailing behind in an endless chase.

Part of the reason she was out here freezing her fingers off instead of staying inside was to try and take some comfort from looking at the sky, a canvas of vivid warm streaks that made her happy to look at. So much of her life had been upended by that stupid djinn, so much of her life changed. But some things were never supposed to change, right?

She would be lying if she said there wasn’t another reason. She was worried about Jay.

The blue ninja had promised her only a few days ago that he would be okay, mere hours after they had skipped town and left Ninjago. His ruined gi still lay in the corner of their shared room, waiting for her to sit down and mend it as best as she could. Nya was thankful that she had the foresight to pack him several changes of clothes in their few duffle bags; Jay had certainly been making good use out of them. The sweatshirt she had on now was his, a medium blue with little lightning bolts on the sleeves with the word ‘ZAP!’ emboldened across the front.

It was the only hoodie she had been using whenever she went outside to watch the sunset. She would grab it up from the small pile of dirty clothes she kept on her side of their one bed, slipping it out before walking up the stairs to look outside. Nya would stay out there for hours, sometimes sneaking back in to check if Jay had gone to bed or if he was staying up late trying to fix things downstairs.

Jay wasn’t okay, despite promising that he would be.

Her first clue was how quiet he had been since they had arrived. Jay was never soft-spoken, but it was like his time on the ship had flipped a switch hidden deep inside. Nya struggled to make him say more than three words at a time, and even when he was by himself he was quiet. Usually Jay would be whistling, beatboxing or humming or even singing to himself to do anything that filled the silence that he couldn’t stand. But now it settled over the lighthouse like a dense fog, and Nya wasn’t quite sure how to navigate it.

Something wasn’t right. This wasn’t her Jay.

It pained her to remember that he wasn’t hers anymore; if she didn’t allow him to hold onto her, then she couldn’t keep him either. That would be quite hypocritical of her, and Nya hated being a hypocrite.

Part of her was worried about how little sleep both of them had been getting. Logically, they had to start establishing some sort of consistent schedule for their nighttime routines, and while Nya herself had always been plagued by issues of insomnia, she never knew Jay to have the same issues. But Jay’s problem wasn’t so much of not being able to sleep: it was the nightmares.

Nya knew he had them, but she didn’t say a word to him about it after their first night. The sun had gone down long ago, Nya retiring to find Jay fast asleep already. It had barely been a couple hours since she had fallen asleep when she was woken up by the sounds of someone sitting up, the rustle of the sheets loud in the quiet of the night.

“Jay?” Nya had said, turning over and blinking awake.

He was shaking. Nya reached out to gently lay a hand on his trembling back, rubbing in small circles while he buried his face in his hands.

Frowning, Nya almost cringed away from how sweaty his sleepshirt was, before she reminded herself that she had, in fact, touched much worse. Jay’s breathing was stuttery, starting and stopping as if someone kept pressing a pause button. “Nya?”

“I’m here, Jay,” she affirmed, propping herself up on her elbow. “Everything okay?”

Everything was very clearly not okay, but Jay deserved the privacy. She watched as he started reaching back he suddenly froze, hastily retracting his hand before it could complete its journey.

Jay had been reaching for her hand.

A part of Nya wished that he had taken it.

Shuddering, Jay shrugged off her touch, standing up and running his hands through his hair in an achingly familiar pattern. She had seen him do it countless times whenever he needed to calm himself down, and now his hands were raking through his curly locks with a vengeance. They were longer than Jay normally allowed them to get, covering his ears and the nape of his neck, and Nya would be lying if she said she didn’t like the new look.

With a small sound of frustration, Jay bent down to grab one of his discarded jackets. “I need to check on the door downstairs. I’ll be back.”

“Is that a good idea?” Nya asked skeptically, and she saw Jay flinch from where he stood in the doorway. The moonlight filtered in, shrouding him in a dark silhouette and making his features barely distinguishable. His jaw tightened, illuminated by the sparse light, and the movement made the fresh scar over his eye stand out.

She hated it. Everytime she got a glimpse of it, she had the insatiable urge to run her finger across it, feeling the anger bubble up from deep inside of her on his behalf. Nya didn’t hate it because of the way it looked: Kai’s had prepared her for pretty much anything.

But this was different.

Whoever had put that scar on him had done so deliberately, trying to gouge out his eye and hurt someone that she cared about. Seeing the skin puffy and red around the wound when they had first arrived on the Misfortune’s Keep reminded her of the sun setting; it was a sign of your world going dark.

Jay wasn’t blinded by the injury, but he may as well have been. They had tested it before they had left Ninjago City, and Nya had been more than dismayed to discover that everything Jay saw through his left eye was pretty much a colored blob. Recently though, she was worried that his color vision was starting to go too; she had to stop him from cutting a red wire when he was supposed to be cutting a blue one while he was trying to repair one of the machines.

All of it made Nya’s insides twist with concern that she knew she shouldn’t have. She kept telling herself that it was over, and that eventually she was going to have to let all of her feelings go. Her independence was more important to her than anything else.

So why couldn’t she let go?

“I’ll be fine, Nya,” he said, but it was clipped. Nya recoiled internally; that had definitely been an overstep on her part.

Even though she hated the idea of him trying to make his way downstairs in the dark, she couldn’t really stop him. “Just be careful, okay? Come and get me if you need me.”

“Will do,” but Nya knew he wouldn’t come. Their door closed with a soft click, and Nya listened for the tell-tale sign of creaking wood as Jay stepped down the stairs. She stayed alert for the first sign of a fall (even though she knew that if he did fall she would never reach him in time), and Nya promised to stay awake to see him walk back into back.

Nya was out like a light not even five minutes later. When she awoke the next morning, the spot beside her was still cold and empty; it hadn’t been disturbed since the night before. Jay had never come back to bed.

That night, Nya heard him step out of the trapdoor while she had been doing her usual vigil outside. The sunset was still out but it was quickly dimming as the sun drifted further and further beneath the crest of the sea.

“Do you want to watch the sunset with me?” she asked him, turning away from the beautiful sight just to look at another one.

Jay looked apprehensive, the wind blowing his hair to the side and making his unzipped jacket flap in the breeze. His good eye was focused on her, but his bad one was quite dilated, clouded over with a film that Nya was scared of becoming permanent. Mouth twisting into an odd smile that didn’t quite fit his face, Jay shook his head. “Sorry, Nya. Gotta keep working on this stuff.”

He patted the side of an old toolbox, but it wasn’t the one that she always knew him to carry. That was still on the Bounty, wherever that had ended up at this point. Did he miss it?

“You’ve been working a lot lately,” she said softly, hesitating. Maybe she shouldn’t be saying anything. “It’s okay to take a break, you know?”

Shrugging, Jay turned away. “If I need one, then I’ll take one. For now, though, the plumbing isn’t going to fix itself.”

The trapdoor closed behind him, and Nya growled in frustration before reminding herself that she had to be patient. Navigating this situation was going to be tricky for both of them, with boundaries that definitely had to be reestablished and rules discussed. Yet somehow, Nya didn’t find herself as quick to draw a line in the sand as she had been before this whole mess had started. It was a weird position for her, because Jay was normally the more patient one out of the two of them, but Nya could pick up the slack every once in a while.

Both of them tiptoed around each other for the next week, with Nya making sure that she was giving Jay the proper space to figure his stuff out. She knew that trying to force him to talk about his time on the ship would lead nowhere; Jay could definitely match her strong will with his own. However, that didn’t mean Nya was going to switch up her routine. Every night she would stay outside and watch the sun wind down, smelling the salt from the sea on the breeze that blew through the open top of the lighthouse.

And every night Jay would check up on her like clockwork, making up a flimsy excuse that she could see right through. He had never been able to hide anything from here.

One time she watched as he deliberately left a wrench on the single table to give him a reason to come up the next night. The night after that he came up with a bucket filled with water, claiming that the downstairs had flooded from the high tide that day and he needed to dump it out. Nya had seen him down at the shoreline just beforehand fighting with the bucket and almost throwing it in frustration before he finally managed to fill it. The other reasons were just as faulty; she knew for a fact that Jay didn’t leave his toolbox that one time, and that he hated doing laundry when he claimed he was letting their clothes dry, and that his camera had run out of batteries on the first day they arrived when he told her he wanted a picture of the sunset.

Nya was a little skeptical of the last one, though, because she was fairly sure she heard the sound of his camera shutter when a particularly loud wave crashed against the rocks below.

Part of her was frustrated with how standoffish he was acting, but it was really her fault that he felt the need to be so far away. She had been quite abrasive before, so she couldn’t blame him for being too careful, especially if he had just acquired a brand new trauma that the rest of the team was going to have to explore.

You just need to be patient with him, Nya reminded herself, he’ll come to you eventually. He always does.

She didn’t mention the nightmares to him either, even though her chest tightened whenever she woke up to him gasping for air and clutching at his chest. Nya could feel his gaze on her every night, checking if he had woken her up, and she pretended to sleep every time. Her suspicions were soon confirmed: Jay never came back to bed after he woke up from a nightmare.

Patience is all it would take.

Finally, after around a week, Nya’s efforts paid off.

Jay crept up through the trapdoor, but something was different this time. Still adjusting the hoodie over his shoulders, Jay’s hair was out of control and coming alive with static, and his cheeks had small sheet lines from where he had been laying down. He was napping on the bed when Nya had seen him last, his lack of sleep finally catching up to him. Did he have another one?

“Hey Nya?” he asked hesitantly, and Nya’s heart clenched painfully. She turned around, pretending that she hadn’t been listening for his arrival.

“Oh, hey Jay,” she gave him a small smile that she hoped came off as inviting, “what’s up?”

Shuffling from foot to foot, she watched as Jay’s hands started twisting themselves together in a familiar nervous habit. “C-Can I watch the sunset with you?”

Here we go, Nya thought. “Sure! Come on, there’s plenty of room to watch.”

He chuckled, moving to stand next to her, mirroring her position of leaning on their elbows to look out. They stayed quiet, although Nya kept sneaking glances at the blue ninja at her side; she still had the ability to appreciate a good view when she saw one.

Despite being well-fed for the past few days, Jay’s jawline was still hollower than she remembered (and she remembered quite well), and she had to clench her hands into fists to keep herself from running her thumbs along his narrow cheekbones. All of the ugly black and blue bruises had faded into slightly less atrocious shades of green and yellow, but Nya knew they still hurt him. His scar wasn’t visible from this angle, and Nya was at least a little happy about that. She wasn’t sure how well she would’ve been able to keep it together if she had to look at it the whole time.

Jay sighed, and Nya quickly darted her gaze away to the horizon. He didn’t notice, only starting to tap his thumb on the back of his other hand. “I’ve been having nightmares.”

“I know,” Nya said quietly, and she could see Jay whip his head around to stare at her. Hopefully she had made the right choice.

“You know?” he asked, and she nodded. “Have I been waking you up?”

“Yeah,” Nya said, turning to look into his eyes, a pretty blue lacking the vividness they usually held, “since the first night.”

Muttering a soft curse, Jay turned away, and Nya could see his face twist with shame. Well, that just wouldn’t do.

“Hey.” she said, moving closer to him. Nya could feel the tantilizing warmth under his sweatshirt, his skin buzzing from his element. The familiarity of it made Nya want to curl up against his side, snuggling close; the breeze had been particularly rough that evening. “Stop it. I know you’re feeling guilty, so stop it.”

Jay didn’t say anything for a minute, and then he exhaled. “I’m sorry for waking you.”

“It’s okay,” Nya told him, and she was surprised by how genuine it was. Honestly, she was a little disappointed when he would only walk away every night instead of going to her.

He looked at her with a questioning look. “You’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not mad.” Now she was the one feeling guilty, the feeling settling in her stomach like a stone. “Jay, you can talk to me about anything. Why would you think I would be mad at you for something you can’t control?”

The irony of her statement was not lost on her. Jay bit his lip, tapping his foot against the wooden floor. “I-I’ve been trying to respect your boundaries ever since we got here. I didn’t want to overstep.”

“I wish-” she paused when he flinched, and she quickly corrected her wording, “I was hoping that you would tell me, so I could help you. I-I don’t like seeing you in pain, Jay.”

“They don’t hurt anymore,” but he had said it a little too quickly, forced it out with a bit too much bite. Nya could tell he was lying.

“Stop lying to me.” she said sternly, taking the plunge and touching shoulders with him. “I don’t need you to be tough for you, I need you to be honest with me. You hiding things from me is overstepping my boundaries more than you needing help ever would be.”

He flinched, and Nya heard a tiny voice inside of her telling her that she was being unfair. Every time Jay seemed to get close to the finish line, she would move the goalposts, changing what she had expected of him at the drop of a hat. And yet, Jay adapted every single time to whatever she demanded; he may not have always gotten it right, but the effort meant more to Nya than she let on.

“Okay.” Jay said, and Nya watched him take a deep breath, steeling his nerves. “Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely.” Nya said firmly.

The small smile on his face made her heart flutter in a way that she had missed, and for the first time in months Nya let herself bask in the feeling. She never could stop loving him, no matter how much she shoved him away or convinced herself that she was over him.

Some things never changed, just like the setting sun.

Most of the things he was telling her made Nya’s blood boil with indignant rage, and by the time night had fallen Jay was done with his story. The two sat in silence for a while, before Nya’s eyes started to close and she knew that it was time to go to bed.

“Jay?” she whispered, amused to see that he had started falling asleep as well. “I think we should head inside.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” he yawned in the middle of the sentence, his scar stretching and morphing in the dim light of the candle that Nya had lit over an hour ago. She blew it out, following behind the blue ninja as he made his way inside.

Getting ready for bed was a quiet affair; Nya kept her hoodie on and was basically done after she slipped off her socks, while Jay changed out his shirt and put his hoodie away. All of the lights were turned out, and Nya was surprised at how little time it took before she heard the lightning ninja’s soft snores on her other side.

One of the cutest sights she had ever seen greeted her when she finally turned over: a sleeping Jay with drool leaking out of the corner of his mouth onto his pillow, his face finally free from all of the worry lines that had been making their homes there recently. Even his scar looked a little smaller from this angle, like it had somehow shrunk now that he wasn’t stressing about everything under the sun.

Nya indulged herself, letting her hand drift upwards to slide between Jay’s cheek and the pillow. Jay made a soft noise, and Nya was surprised to see his eyes blink open, still hazy with sleep.

“Thanks for letting me watch the sunset with you,” he murmured, and he must’ve had a lapse in judgement as he leaned into her touch and pecked her palm. Nya’s thumb stopped from where she had started stroking his cheek, but she restarted when his eyes slid shut and his breathing truly evened out.

First Master, how could she ever let this go?

In her own lapse of judgement, Nya leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose, moving closer and molding her body to fit with his warm one. She smiled, keeping her lips pressed against his forehead. “Anything for you, Jay. We’ve got all the time in the world to watch as many sunsets as it takes for you to feel better.”

#ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #ninjago jaya #jayaweek2023 #finn's writing #jaya week 2023 day 6: sunset

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