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theborahaecat · 6 years ago

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Penny for your thoughts? - Chapter I

Title: Penny for your thoughts? [Telepathy AU] Relationship: Kim Taehyung/Jeon Jungkook Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content in later chapters. Word count: 4255 Summary: “~ Ahhhhhh, pretty boy is staring at us, definitely us. - Oh my god, will you stop screaming? ~ Oh look, he looks so adorable with those wide eyes, oh God, why is he so near. - It's okay breathe. Breathe, and try not to do anything stupid. Oh no no, don't stare. ~ Woah, so pretty. - No, I said do NOT stare. ~ Did you? Sorry, I must have heard you wrong.

A clear-cut internal thought-conversation? This was rare, Jungkook noted as he turned away, trying so hard not to smile.”

OR,

Jungkook can feel everyone's thoughts and emotions, and Taehyung is that one person who thinks too loud.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Jiminie," Jungkook whined over the phone, "Can't I just, like, not go?"

"No, Jungkookie," Jimin laughed, amused and exhausted, "for the eleventh time in half an hour, you can't just, like, not go on the first day of your sophomore year of college."

"Fine," Jungkook sighed after many seconds of silence, "I'll see you in tomorrow morning at your place."

Jungkook already knew that skipping class wasn't an option. He just needed to rant to his best friend over the phone. Jimin lived in the flat across the hall on the same floor of the same apartment. But it was absolutely necessary that he talked to him over the phone.

Jungkook liked phone calls. They made him comfortable. They let him feel normal, like he could forget, for a handful of seconds, about how thoughts that weren't his drifted through his mind, like he could let go of the guilt that ate him up from within of intruding their privacy, of being a voyeur of the worst kind.

They made him feel, for those few seconds, like he didn't have to apologize to every single person he passed by, that he didn't have to apologize for existing.

He stared at the phone in his hand. Honestly, he'd rather limit his interaction with fellow human beings to phone calls, because then, he wouldn't be able to feel their thoughts even if he wanted to. If it weren't for Jimin, he was sure that's exactly what he would have been doing now.

- - -

Jungkook got dressed the next morning in loose blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt under a black hoodie. People seemed to notice him lesser in these clothes, although that wasn’t saying much. People seemed to notice him no matter what he did.

He made his way across the hall to Jimin's flat wondering how people found telepathy an attractive 'superpower'. He found it disturbing. Did they never think about the people at the other end, having their minds pried open without any sort of consent?

There was no place for something as unnatural as telepathy in this world. There was no place for people like Jungkook.

He stared at Jimin’s door. It was exhausting to bear the guilt of this unfair arrangement: Jungkook had full access to everyone's current thoughts and feelings, and none of these people, other than his parents and Jimin, even knew that telepathy was a real thing.

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He had promised Jimin that he would try to be positive, to be optimistic today. Jimin's panic floated in through the door.

Goddamnit, why is Jungkook always on time? Should I put on some eyeliner today? Nah. Overkill for the first day. Is Jin-hyung seriously still asleep? Shit, it's time.

Jungkook? Come on in. I'll be a minute.

Jungkook smiled, letting himself in. Jimin made him feel okay. He knew about Jungkook's...situation, and still didn't harbour any negative feelings towards him for feeling his thoughts. He knew that Jungkook couldn't help it.

"Hey!" Jimin greeted him quietly with a blinding smile as he stepped out the main door. His roommate, Kim Seokjin, was still asleep.

Yup, he's wearing that again.

"It's comfortable," Jungkook responded, laughing at Jimin's honest thoughts about his attire.

Jimin rolled his eyes.

---

As they walked through the university gate, Jungkook braced himself for the chaos that was about to fill his head. He could feel Jimin's concern.

Over the years, Jungkook had learned to "blur" the thoughts and feelings that came his way. He could sort of reduce the unbearable noise to a more background mumbling. It had been a priceless discovery in his early years of middle school, and Jungkook survived on it.

Lifesaving as it was, it had limitations. It was tough to blur the thoughts and feelings of people he knew. The closer they were to him, both physically and otherwise, the tougher it was to shut them out. It was also extremely tough to blur thoughts and feelings that were about him in particular, even if he didn't know the ‘thinker’.

College meant too many people, and too many people who judged. Honestly, Jungkook wanted nothing more than to be not noticed, but there lay another problem.

Jungkook was a perfectionist. He felt, at some subconscious level, that if he worked hard enough, it would make up for his...abnormality. In other words, he simply had to be perfect at everything to be able to live with himself and his own conscience.

Long story short, Jungkook was good at everything. He had a GPA average of 4.0, he was on the dance team that had performed on international stage, he would randomly join the sports teams for a few hours to get some practice and end up helping the whole team instead, it was rumoured that he had the voice of an angel, but no one had heard him sing. As if that weren't enough for him to be the most well-known student in the entire college, he had this 'mysterious aura' and most people found him unfairly attractive.

Jungkook never thought of any of this as out of the ordinary. He had never accepted anything less than perfection from himself anyway.

But it still meant that, regardless of his attire, people noticed him as he walked by. Thoughts about him barged into his mind: admiration, jealousy, hatred, lust, curiosity, annoyance. Jungkook wished he was used to it. After all, it had been years. But he wasn't and felt about two seconds from screaming. Not that it would help.

Jimin tapped Jungkook's shoulder, breaking him out of his daze. Out of habit, Jungkook focused on Jimin's mind. He felt the tension leaving his shoulders as all the other thoughts blurred a little. Jimin smiled.

Don't smile now, they might all scream and die, but better?

Jungkook nodded, jaw clenched so he wouldn't smile.

And then he sighed, frustrated when about a hundred loud, fangirling thoughts about his 'jawline that could cut diamond' filled his mind. There was no winning, was there?

Tough being you, Kook. I gotta rush. My class is upstairs. Yours is the next one on the left. Thought you might have a tough time navigating with all your lovely fans around, so I brought you here.

Jungkook looked away, rolled his eyes, mumbling a thank you, when 'Ohmygod, are they dating?' drifted through the back of his mind, because, no. Absolutely not. Jimin was his closest friend since he was five, and the thought of dating him felt like incest.

Jungkook made his way to the lecture hall to the left. He had an hour and a half long history lecture to attend. Way to start a new year.

He walked into the hall, focusing on blurring all those people out when a loud, clear thought cut through his mind. He flinched.

Ohmygod. Oh my God, what the fuck. Who is that and how is he so pretty?

Jungkook blinked. It had been a while since a thought that clear cut through. He could feel the shock, the breathless frustration, the disbelief. He swore he could almost hear a voice. Jungkook looked across the hall. The person was probably still looking at him.

He quickly looked back down, blushing, frustrated. About half the people there were openly staring at him. Jungkook grit his teeth. He hated being popular. He quickly walked towards the back of the room, not looking up even once, and took a seat somewhere near the corner. He wished they would all ignore him and stop thinking about him at all.

~ Angel… - Nope. ~ Damn it, why did he have to sit across the hall? - Well, maybe it's for the best. Gotta focus on the first day. Looks like there's going to be a major distraction this term.

The clear thoughts cut through the background blur, and Jungkook nearly jumped. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. So this person was across the hall. Jungkook wanted to go smack them across the face, whoever they were, and just tell them to please just stop thinking so loud.

Jungkook rested his chin on his palm, realizing that he was sitting beside a window. A major distraction. That's all he was, huh.

---

After lunch, Jungkook sat at the lunch tables with Jimin.

"So, what class did you have?" Jungkook realized he hadn't asked.

"Music theory," Jimin replied aloud. Jungkook had decided to practice shutting out all thought, including the exceptions.

"How was it?"

"Pretty good," Jimin responded briefly. Jungkook raised his eyebrows. This was unusual. Jimin usually spoke in long, descriptive monologues. He let his mind focus on Jimin's thoughts.

It. Was. Amazing. There's this guy with fluffy hair and a deep voice. He's so cute, he was all grumpy most of the time, but that was so hot, and when he smiled that one time, god, I just melted you have no idea. He's so precious I want to stare into his eyes forever. Only thing is, I have no chance whatsoever, because he's, like, the assistant professor.

Jungkook, are you here?

Jungkook huffed out a laugh, massaging his temples.

"One, I need to see this guy. Two, sweetie, why are you like this? Out of hundreds of guys and girls here, it had to be a professor? Three, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have intruded, I-"

"Assistant Professor. Also, chill," Jimin shook his head, "you know you're always welcome in here."

Jungkook had lost count of how many times Jimin had said that. It still didn't feel right.

"How about you?" Jimin rested the side of his head on the table, facing Jungkook, "How was the lecture?"

"The lecture itself was as interesting as a history lecture can be," Jungkook paused.

"Go on," Jimin lifted his head off the table, "I hear a ‘but’."

"So I was trying to blur the thoughts," Jimin nodded. He knew how Jungkook felt about this whole ‘mind reading’ thing, "Yeah," Jungkook continued, "Then this one really loud, clear thought cut through. Really clear. Like, I could almost hear a voice."

"That's...interesting," Jimin responded, thoughtfully.

The same clear thought-voice cut through his mind again.

Ohmygod, that's him. Woah, his hair is a mess. This is so cute!

Jungkook flinched, hurriedly trying to fix his hair. Was it just him, or had the thought become even clearer?

Aw, come on! Why did you have to go ahead and fix it? Why are all the good times in life so brief? Damn, I love being dramatic. Woah, wait, is he smiling? Ohmygod, he's almost smiling. I'm going to die, he's so pretty. Oh no, he's smiling for real now. I can't handle this level of pretty. Kill me please, pretty boy. My life is yours to take!

Jungkook covered his mouth with his hand as he shook with silent laughter. Jimin watched bemused.

"What-" Jimin began.

"Let's go," Jungkook nearly dragged Jimin out of the building. He needed some fresh air after all that. Jungkook flinched a little less when he heard the clear thoughts again.

Please don't abandon me, my love! At least tell me your name before you leave!

Oh well. See you later, pretty boy!

---

"What. Was. That," Jimin demanded once they collapsed on the dried up lawn at the back of the building, trying to catch their breath. This was their spot. No one else ever came here.

"The clear thoughts person started thinking about me again," Jungkook explained, "He called my messed up hair cute," Jungkook continued, ears warm, "And they positively freaked out when I smiled," Jungkook covered his face with the back of his hand "And they keep calling me 'pretty boy'."

Jimin stared.

Oh my God. That's so adorable! Can I ship it? Please, please can I ship it?

Jungkook laughed, "Do I look like someone who'll give in to a bit of flattery?"

"Sort of," Jimin smirked, "Yep, definitely. But only if it's from the thoughts."

Jungkook hated when Jimin was right.

"So," Jimin began purposefully, "You have history again tomorrow, and you're finding this person."

"Why would I ever want to do that?" Jungkook lay down on the grass.

"So you can tell them to stop thinking so loudly?" Jimin was looking at him like he was the stupidest person in the world.

Jimin had a point. This clear-thoughts person seemed…nice. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. And Jungkook couldn't say he wasn't a little curious himself.

Wait a sec, they don't know Kook’s name, so he's definitely one of the transfer students.

"Here's a lead, they d-" Jimin's eyes lit up.

"Good one," Jungkook interrupted, "but it's not like every single person here knows my name."

"Jungkookie," Jimin sighed, "That's exactly how it is."

Why are you so oblivious? Or is it denial? Whatever. We’re finding them tomorrow.

For the rest of the day, Jungkook tried his best to not to mess up his hair again or smile too much.

For the rest of the day, Jimin smirked at Jungkook and tried his best to keep himself from daydreaming about a certain assistant professor.

---

The next morning, after Jimin's mind-to-mind pep-talk while walking to college, Jungkook reached the lecture hall fifteen minutes early. His plan was to discretely observe every single person who walked through the door until he found this clear-thoughts person. He didn't recognize over half the students here anyway, what with his habit of avoiding eye contact. He doubted he'd be able to recognize a transfer student.

Jungkook blurred the background noise. There were few other people in the room, so it was easier than yesterday. Students trickled in in groups of two or three. They didn't comment much about Jungkook. He waited. Would this clear thought person even see him? He gazed blankly at the sky through the window beside him. All at once, the increasingly familiar clear thought-voice cut through.

~ I'm so sleepy... I wonder if he's here yet. - Okay, we've got to stop thinking about him. ~ B-but he's so pretty! I wonder if he's here...

Two people walked in. Jungkook held his breath.

- Probably not. It is kinda earl-

One of them had looked up and was now staring at Jungkook with wide eyes. The boy's thoughts had literally gone blank.

He was breathtakingly beautiful. His hair was dyed a light grey, his eyes were dark and shaped beautifully like almonds, his face was so perfect, Jungkook felt like it belonged in a museum. He was about as tall as Jungkook, slim, tan, beautiful.

If Jungkook were to describe perfection, he would describe this boy. He hadn’t known until about a second ago that humans this beautiful existed.

Jungkook suddenly looked away, gazing blankly through the window again, trying to catch his breath.

- Woah, what, how, what, breathe. ~ Pretty boy was staring at us? - What the fuck, calm down, you stupid heart. He was probably looking at something else. As if he'd look at someone like us. ~ But seriously, wow. How is he so beautiful? His eyes, like - that kind of intensity is just - I can’t even- - Wait, don't tell me we're literally dizzy. Oh no, fuck, just sit down somewhere, anywhere-

A clear-cut internal thought-conversation? This was extremely rare. Jungkook looked up, scanning the room for the boy, and froze. The most beautiful boy he had ever seen was in the seat diagonally behind Jungkook, face buried in his hands, tips of his ears pink, breathing hard. Was he alright?

Jungkook was worried. The thoughts had gone quiet. Not silent, still clear, but quiet. Would it be appropriate to panic now?.

Without really thinking about it, Jungkook reached out and tapped his elbow. The boy looked up, colour high on his cheeks. Jungkook heard his breath catch. He found himself talking. Oh god, no.

"Hey, u-um-" Damn it, Jungkook, say something! "Are you okay?"

Jungkook felt his ears heat up. He wasn't exactly used to talking to beautiful boys these days. Or ever.

Jungkook watched the boy intently. Should he offer some water? The boy opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and swallowed thickly.

Jungkook pulled out his water bottle and held it out. The boy took it, hand trembling as he drank from it.

~ Ahhhhhh! Pretty boy offered us water, pretty boy is staring at us, definitely us. - Oh my god, will you stop screaming? ~ Oh look, he looks so adorable with those wide eyes, oh God, why is he so close. - It's okay, just breathe. Breathe, and try not to do anything stupid. Oh no no, don't stare. ~ Woah, so pretty. - No, I said do NOT stare. ~ Did you? Sorry, I must have heard you wrong.

The boy tore his gaze away from Jungkook. Jungkook watched, endeared, as the boy struggled to screw the bottle cap back on, hands still shaking, idly noting how beautiful and long his fingers were. He leaned over and took the bottle back, smiling a little as he screwed it back himself.

- And there we go. See? he's laughing at us. ~ Yeah, but see? He's laughing. So pretty, can we die now? - No, stop staring, idiot.

Jungkook turned away, trying to stop smiling, and brought out his books. The thoughts were so clear in his mind, and the ‘conversations’ were so adorable! There were at least two ‘voices’, and boy was using plural personal pronouns: us, we. Jungkook wondered why he found that so endearing.

The lecture was starting, and it didn't seem like this boy was as going to stop thinking about him anytime soon.

The lecture began. Jungkook, being the perfectionist he was, took notes, blurring thoughts so he could pay attention. He realized soon enough that today wouldn't be that easy.

~ Oh look! Even his hands are pretty! I wonder how it would feel to hold them… - … ~ Or kiss them… - Shut up. ~ Okay, but imagine scraping our teeth over that pretty skin. - Or, like, don’t? We're trying to focus. ~ Sure, but imagine sucking on his fingers. Imagine his face if we suddenly did that. - … Okay, good point, but he’d probably be creeped out as hell.

Jungkook stared at his notebook, at his own hands. What was pretty about these? Like, hadn't this boy ever looked at his own hands? Also, what the heck? How did go from cute holding hands to sensual, seductive sucking on fingers in literally two seconds? The image of him licking and playing around with the clear thoughts boy’s hands filled his mind. He bit down on his lip to keep his expression carefully blank.

~ He's biting his lip. God, we want to bite his lip like that. - Stop staring and shut up. ~ Damn it, pretty boy, will you let us breathe for one second? - Seriously though, that would be great.

Jungkook immediately released his lower lip, but god, wouldn’t he love that too. He wondered what he had ever done to deserve the privilege of hearing this beautiful creature so flustered by him. And he wasn't even doing anything...

~ Look, his lip is all red now, so pretty... wonder what his name is... I don't mind calling him pretty boy … - Honestly, I doubt we'll be able to even talk to him without dying. But, it would be nice to know it... but, well. ~ Pretty boy...

Jungkook bit the insides of his cheeks, so he wouldn’t smile. He tried so hard to keep himself from blushing. He wasn’t sure why he decided to do something completely out of character. It definitely wasn’t because he was dying to know this boy's name too. Because he wasn’t. He quietly tore a piece of paper from the back of his notebook and wrote- “Hey! This is Jungkook. Are you feeling well?” Then he leaned over and slipped the paper onto the boy's table.

- What's this? Stupid hands, stop shaking. We've got wor- Oh wow, can he read minds or what?

Jungkook swallowed a laugh.

~ Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. Is it weird that we think that his name is pretty too? - Jungkook. Jungkook. ~ Awww this is so cute he's asking if we're feeling well. - Oh. We have to write a response. Okay so, ‘Hey! I'm Taehyung'. Then? How do we feel? ~ Honestly? We're dying. He's so pretty it's killing us. - But really, we literally got dizzy because we forgot to breathe because he was staring at us. ~ Jungkook. - Yes, Jungkook was staring at us. ~ Wow, using his name makes it so much more intense. - Okay, how do we respond? ~ How about, ‘Yes, I'm well. I got a little dizzy because I forgot to breathe when you were staring at me.’ - No, you dumb carrot. Just say you pulled an all-nighter or something normal. ~ Okay, so. ‘Hey! I'm Taehyung. Yes, I'm well, thank you for asking. I pulled one too many all-nighters, but I'm okay now.’ - Great. Now, darling, can we really write that with our hand shaking like this? ~ Well, we've got to try... - Okay, let’s get it.

Jungkook was covering his face with his hand. God, why did Taehyung have to keep thinking his name? His heart skipped a beat every time Taehyung thought it, and his cheeks were burning.

Taehyung. Even his name was graceful, damn it.

Taehyung. Taehyung had felt dizzy because he forgot to breathe because Jungkook was staring at him. How the heck did he have that kind of effect on this beautiful boy? On Taehyung?

Taehyung slipped the paper back to Jungkook. Jungkook unfolded it, smiling fondly at the handwriting. It was obvious that Taehyung's hand had been shaking when he wrote it. He could feel Taehyung dying over how 'precious' his smile was right now.

He slipped the paper into his pocket. This would be a precious memory.

---

Min Yoongi. Damn you, Min Yoongi.

Jimin’s thoughts reached him from around the building as he headed to their spot.

“Is that your man?” Jungkook asked, collapsing on the grass beside Jimin, “Min Yoongi?”

“He’s the assistant professor, yes.”

“Your man.” Wow, that has a nice ring to it.

Jungkook smiled. It was good to see Jimin opening up again.

“So, did you find them?” Jimin sat up to face Jungkook, eyes bright, “Oh my god, you did, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, well,” Jungkook watched Jimin’s excitement, amused.

This kid. What does he want me to do, beg? Spill, Kook, I know you can hear me.

“He’s,” Jungkook paused. How was he supposed to describe beautiful, perfect Taehyung without sounding like he was in love with him? Jimin was still looking at him, expectantly.

“Hyung,” Jungkook began.

Woah, wait. Jungkook? Is everything okay? You never call me hyung unless it’s serious. What’s wrong?

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jungkook tried again, “It’s just- Can you promise not to laugh at me?”

“Of course, Kook,” Jimin frowned, worried, “What’s up?”

“He’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Jungkook let the words rush out in a single breath, “Jimin, he’s so pretty, and his thoughts are so cute, I just-”

Jungkook stumbled. He just what? He felt his cheeks heat up when he suddenly recalled how Taehyung had thought about biting Jungkook’s lip, and how much Jungkook had wanted it too, in that moment.

Woah, he’s blushing! Jeon Jungkook is blushing! I’ve got to meet this kid. Damn, I ship them so hard, and I don’t even know this guy’s name. I wonder what got Jungkook so flustered…

“Jimin, stop. It’s not like that,” Jungkook wondered whom he was trying to convince, “His thoughts are so clear, I can’t help it. You know that. And he has the most beautiful eyes, I can't lie. And he gets all flustered when I’m around, and it’s so cute, hyung,” Jungkook took a deep breath and let it out, “I can’t lie about art being beautiful.”

Okay. I’m trying not to think about it that way, and you’re not making it easy. But I’m trying, Kook.

Jungkook smiled, shaking his head, "It’s tough for me too when he starts thinking about holding my hand or biting my lip and stuff.”

Jimin burst into laughter, “Wait, wait, he what ?”

“I was biting down on my lip while trying not to smile or something, and his thoughts went all, ‘Look, he’s biting his lip! God, I want to bite his lip too!’ Something like that,” Jungkook’s face was burning and the light breeze was suddenly too warm.

This is precious. I wonder what he’d do if Jungkook wore a half-sleeved t-shirt. Oh, or those tight jeans. What if he parted his hair? This kid would literally die. I’m so happy about this, I feel mean.

“You’re right,” Jungkook huffed out a laugh, “He would literally die. Apparently, he got dizzy because he forgot to breathe because I was staring at him.”

“He what?!” Jimin stared at him, incredulous.

Okay, that’s it. I’m picking what Kook wears tomorrow. This is way too good, and the boy deserves better than worn out hoodies. This is so exciting, I can’t wait!

“Stop it, Jiminie,” Jungkook responded, smiling, as he lay back down on the grass, “I felt his thoughts literally blank out when we had that eye contact. You’re really going to kill him.”

Jimin smirked.

Admit it, you want it too. You want his beautiful eyes on you. You want to feel his gaze burning into you. You want to feel his thoughts as he falls apart from within when you smile at him. You w-

“Stop it,” Jungkook playfully smacked Jimin’s shoulder, “You don’t even know who he is.”

---

That night, he stared at the ceiling of his room, Taehyung's name echoing through his mind with every heartbeat. He found himself wondering what Taehyung’s voice was like.

- - -

Read CHAPTER II here. Read CHAPTER III here. Read CHAPTER IV here.

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stylesdimplefeelings · 7 years ago

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Broken Souls (Whipped Series Pt. 8)

I’m excited!!! Are you excited???? After much anticipation and months of procrastinating it’s finally here!!!

And if you haven’t yet, you can catch up on this series here.

Also, thank you for being so patient with me again, and fair warning, be prepared for a ahhhhhh moment...

Harry knew the possibilities of ever seeing Y/N again were slim to none. She's managed to avoid every single call he's made to her, every text he's sent her, and he'd must admit, he's finally began to lose hope.

Nothing seems to lift his spirits. Not brunches with his favourite sister - granted Gemma’s his only sister - not the comfort of his mother being near inseparable the past couple of weeks he’s been home, not even The Notebook - which admittedly wouldn’t help much anyway, it’s a rom-com for Christ sake.

And Anne can’t recall the last time she’s seen her son so broken. She knows Harry’s always been such a sweet kid, and though she had chewed his ear off about how wrong he was to have done what he did - especially to Y/N who’s always been there for him since she can remember - she knows how much Y/N means to him. Harry wouldn’t do anything to harm her, not on purpose. A mother’s heart breaks for a child’s heart break, but just as much as she loves Harry, she’s loved Y/N as well, so she completely understands why she left.

“M’fine, mum.” His voice has become hoarse from so much crying, but even the sobs can’t drown out his mother’s footsteps nearing where he’s sitting on the couch.

And they both know that’s a lie the second Harry knuckles away a stray tear from his cheek and tilts his head up to rest on the back of the soft furniture, a sad sigh filling the otherwise noiseless room.

“Y’sure, darlin’?”

But Harry doesn’t want to talk about it again. Not when “you’ll be okay, hon” and “only time can heal” do nothing to comfort his thoughts of having forever lost his soul mate.

Anne looks at him with sad eyes, her hands moving to lay on his shoulders from behind, “g’na go out for a bit of lunch. Want t’come?”

Harry looks up at his mother, offers a smile but declines with a nod of the head, “not really hungry. But you go, ‘ave fun with your mates.”

At this point Harry doesn’t seem to differentiate between not wanting to eat, and not being hungry - despite his tummy growling otherwise. Anne leans down to press a kiss to his forehead before making her way to the door. “Call if y’need anything.”

And so Harry’s left alone in silence again, until he hears that ping. That custom ping that has him turning to his lit up phone on the coffee table so fast he’s sure he’d feel the whiplash if his mind weren’t elsewhere.

His breath hitches at the sound, tummy tightening as he stares at the pink phone on the coffee table. He runs his fingers through his greasy, unkept hair before leaning over.

"Congratulations on the album and the movie, Harry. Hope you're doing well and happy new year."

The familiar jab at his heart reminds him of a time he could be excited about his accomplishments with her. She’d be all too eager to hear about it all, always tentative when he would rant to her for hours on end about all the projects he had going on. And though he’s come to the realisation of how much he’s fucked up, it’s not until now that he realises just how much he’s fucked up. He's read her text over too many times to count. He'd replied within seconds, his heart beating erratically, and all he could think of was his Y/N reaching out to him.

"Happy new year, kitten. Have you seen it? Did you hear it?”

He waited a few seconds, pondering whether or not she’d answer him if he were to ring her. His fingers ghosted over the screen, mind drawing blank on what else to say. “Honestly, I've been better. Do you think we could get together for some coffee maybe? x" It was as if he was asking her out all over again, and at the time it seemed to be the right thing to say. But he never heard from her again. And he's doubted that message ever since. Maybe he shouldn't have used his pet name for her. Maybe he should have been brutally honest about how sorry he is and how much of a mess he's been. But would any of that have really made a difference?

She had every right to be angry. She had every right to call him every offensive word in the dictionary, and even then he doesn't think it'd be enough to describe what he's come to think of himself. He wishes she had thrown a fit, yelled at him, shot profanities his way, maybe even slapped him - he would have deserved every bit of it. But she had been composed. And Harry doesn't know why, but her calmness was unsettling. He had expected an argument long enough where he could have maybe slipped in how shit of a person he was feeling. Harry just wishes he'd felt as if she was fighting for them, but how could she when he had been the one to break everything.

He's come to the conclusion it was foolish of him to think he could get her to talk to him, even after Gemma phoned her up after much of Harry's relentless pleading. His sister wasn't too keen on doing it for the sake of helping her brother. In fact, she'd looked him straight in the eye and called him a prick, stating that she would make the call purely because she was genuinely worried about Y/N. And when all Gemma had to say after that call was that Y/N sounded broken, but fine, Harry couldn't help but feel some sort of relief. If his Y/N wasn't completely devastated, would there still be a chance for Harry?? Even then, he's being completely selfish isn't he?

Regardless of that, of telling himself it was over, he'd often find himself in the corner of a room at a friend's party - mutuals of his and Y/N's to be precise. Eyes never set on someone specific - even when people would try to converse with him, his mind was always somewhere else - instead always lingering around the room for the possibility of seeing his Y/N.

Today was no exception, although any hope he's tricked himself into not having diminishes as the seconds tick by, and still no sight of her.

"She said she'd be here." Grimmy wasn't oblivious to the reason Harry got up every night to attend these gatherings he clearly didn't have enough interest for. And though he hasn't spoken to Y/N since - she seems to be avoiding his calls as well - Grimmy would rather Harry have hope, than let him give in to the loneliness he'll fall into if there was nothing to keep his heart beating. Y/N is what does that, despite the circumstances.

But Harry's attendance was mandatory tonight. His friends were kind enough to throw a small get together in his honour, to congratulate Harry on the end of his tour, and the start of a new year.

"Yeah? She's been saying tha' a lot." Harry manages to finish the rest of his beer in one long swig, opting Grimmy to take the bottle from him and excuse himself with 'I'll get you another, mate'.

As much as he'd like to keep to himself, engaging in conversations was unavoidable tonight, and Harry didn't want to come off as ungrateful by shying away from everyone, so as guest of honour, he makes sure to thank everyone for being there.

Three more beers and a game of ping pong later, he finds himself, yet again, in the corner of the room, eyes lingering around dancing bodies. He takes his red solo cup to his lips, tilting it and taking the last small amount of beer into his mouth when he hears it. Just as the music cuts off.

“Ayeee Y/N’s ‘ere!!!” He automatically freezes at the sound of her name, movements slow in disconnecting his lips from the rim of the cup.

He feels his heart clench at the sight of her, a small smile playing at her lips as friends greet her and side hug her. She’s never been one to like the attention, always choosing to shy away from it. He notices how her eyes twinkle when she smiles, and only for a moment does he think of calling out for her. But he can’t. He can’t move, much less speak.

She’s making her way through, hugging people and kissing them on the cheek. And it isn’t until he hears her voice in the rather silent room that he comes out of his trance.

“Is he here?”

He is. He wants to reach out and tell her that he is. He’s here. But just as he takes a step forward in her direction, he feels it, a light touch to his arm. And then that shrill voice has jerking his arm away instinctively.

“Didn’t think I’d be seeing you again.”

Harry feels like the universe is against him. Like it’s still punishing him for what he’d done.

“Don’ touch me.” He’s monotonous in his response, a look in his eyes he’s sure would send anyone running. Anyone except her apparently.

“Oh come on, you still mad about that?”

It takes all of Harry’s will to not just push her aside and make his way through. In fact, it takes him three deep breaths and two nods of the head to calm himself down, and then he’s staring daggers at the woman in front of him again.

“Ye’ cost me m’girl,” he says through gritted teeth.

She tries running her palms up his torso, but Harry’s too quick to swap her hands away from him.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Harry. All this drama would’ve been worth it if we’d actually done something,” she rolls her eyes, visibly getting flustered with the attention Harry’s failing to give her.

“Wait, wha’?”

She flutters her lashes up at him, lips jutting out in a pout and her hands - yet again - reaching for his white shirt.

“Wha’ d’ye mean t’say with tha’?” His fingers enclose around her wrist, halting her movements all together.

She lets out an exasperated scoff, “couldn’t even get it up. I’d heard lots of things about you, Harry. Thought you’d be my best fuck, yet. But you couldn’t even get it up,” she sneers condescendingly.

“Couldn’t get it up.” He whispers to himself.

Couldn’t get it up?

“So you an’ I?” Is he really asking her this? He knows the next next thing that comes out of his mouth changes it all. So he looks at her expectantly.

She rolls her eyes once more, having had enough of Harry’s indifference towards her, “you knocked out the second your head hit the pillow. Don’t get me wrong, I tried. But you kept moaning her name. So not only were you not able to get it up, but you managed to turn me off, too,” she snickers, eyes averting away from him as he tries to process it all.

She notices a woman looking over them, a curiously intent look on her face.

When Harry notices where her attention’s gone, he looks over. Their eyes meet for a split second, and he notices the flash of hurt in her eyes. His mouth opens and closes around silent words. He follows her stare to where Harry’s hands are still holding onto the stranger’s wrist, and just like that, she’s looking away.

“Y/N.” It’s a low cry. And he wishes he had said it loud enough so she could hear him, because maybe she wouldn’t have turned around and walked away and out of view.

Lemme know what you think? Scream at me if you want!

Love you, guys, loads!!!

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 7 years ago

Text

asks (19)

Anonymous said: Hey can you do something like Bruce reacting to Jason's death? Or just dealing with it in general (I'm feeling awfully sad)

Ahhh I get that you probably want new material, but I don’t have the time for it just now, so I’m just gonna link to all the sad Bruce and Jason content. I hope you feel better! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help :///

The fic about Bruce right after Jason died

The fic from Under the Red Hood

The fic with Tim as Robin

The fic where Jason gets injured

Generalized angst with a Bruce and Jason section

Anonymous said: Your new list of punishable offenses really, really improved my day

I’m so glad! We all need a lil help, you know?

@thephilosophersapprentice said: Headcanon that Dick uses those relaxing videos from youtube to get Tim to fall asleep

Sleep?? He doesn’t know her (what videos tho hmu)

Anonymous said: Have you done your torts reading yet? Should I poke you? I believe in you!

I did it that day but regrettably there is new torts reading every day :///

Anonymous said: I read the thing about Damian liking plants, and I'm just imagining him and Poison Ivy talking about their favorite plants and like, having a full-on discussion about plants

Selina says it’s “good for them both” and “vaguely cute” but honestly? Makes Bruce nervous

Anonymous said: JOSS WHEDON IS NO LONGER DIRECTING BATGIRL!!!! I am screaming with joy!!

Ahhhhhh it was just a rumor but I WISH

Anonymous said: Hi, I just read through like, all of your Damian hc's and I also read the one about him giving people thoughtful gifts and then I cried for a while. Thank you

One of my favorites! He’s a good kid

Anonymous said: Hey, gotta question. How old is Jason? I had a friend ask me and I wasn't sure.

Really hard to say on that one :/

My personal guess would be somewhere in the 19-22 range in the n52/rebirth, maybe 25ish in the preboot

Anonymous said: Have you read Worlds Apart by Fernandidilly_yo??? They just updated it and it is SO good, I think you would enjoy it. :)))

I haven’t, but I’ll give it a look :)

@giotanner said: Thank you very much for reblog my art (Tim Drake -inktober). This means a lot for me, 'cause I love your blog and always I follow it. Have a nice day!

It was a beautiful picture!

Anonymous said: what did you like about justice league tho ///

Spoilers below

I liked seeing Ben Affleck’s Batman and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman on screen, acting like friends. I loved new-Barry and new-Arthur and new-Victor (especially Victor), especially when he called Bruce an asshole?? Iconic

I’ll be the first to admit that the movie had substantial problems, but here’s the thing: I just genuinely enjoy watching the characters I love on the big screen. The movie made me happy, and that’s all I really care about just now.

Anonymous said: hey mom, can i rant a lil? i am.... disappointed after watching justice league. i mean, i loved the new characters but coming out of the theatres i felt.. icky??? something just didnt sit well with me - the movie was too.... altered i guess is the only word i can think of right now. it didnt feel right. the tone was too light too different (forced?) for me too but thats just me. idk i just... im just upset right now. what did you think?

I’m really sorry you felt that way! I know what you’re talking about, and I’m sorry it ruined the movie for you

@batfightart said: I am so so so so so so so so sorry to hear what you have been going through with this "friend" of yours. That is truly despicable of him to disrespect what you have already told him about yourself and attempt to pursue a relationship despite it. And it's especially terrible since he's your partner for a class and that you share so many friends. Please feel free to vent to us anytime you need, we all love you so much and care for your well-being. I don't know if there is anything I can do, (1/2)

batfightart said: (2/2) but please let me know if I can help in any way or if you need anything. Please remember that you are so loved and that you are VALID as you are. We all appreciate you so much on here, and just want to give you support. I'll be thinking about you and wishing for the best for you. Thank you for sharing with us. We are here for you <3

Honestly this was.... exactly what I needed to hear a few days ago. Thank you so much for your support :’)

@justhavingfun123 said: I understand a bit of what you going through. I've had something similar happen with a guy; he thought he was "the exception". But just because he's friends with your friends doesn't mean you have to distance yourself from them, it might seem like to right thing to do(I've done it before), but stick to your friends. He'll hopefully see he was cruel in the end, and you need friend at a time like this. Hope everything will turn out good in the end and love your work ✨

My friends have been super supportive, which is really great because I don’t think I could have made it through this week without them. Sorry about your shitty experience with that guy :///

@12freddofrogs said: : ( That thing with the girlfriend-zone sounds horrible. I'm really sorry for you having to go through it. I wish I could give you advice or help, but all I can do is offer a virtual hug and prayers. I'm sure it will work out, but it sucks right now, and that's what hurts.

Hug and prayers both greatly appreciated <3

Anonymous said: In regards to your personal distress: you are valid. What you want and don't want is valid. I don't know the full extent of the situation, but if you can take a few precautions then tell him to back the f off, do so. I hope that that will help you feel better(?) about the situation.

I really needed that, anon

Anonymous said: God I’m so sorry that this guy has been playing you that fucking SUCKS and you did NOTHING wrong and we’re very different people but I know the feeling of just feeling so violated over being touched and it’s just the worst UGH I hope this guy fucks off forever and things go back to being good and happy

It was really bad for a couple of days, honestly. I still get all shivery and gross when I think about it, but I’m getting better

Anonymous said: I hope everything works out for you. I wish you the best!!!!

It’s been rough. Haley and I talked to him about it yesterday, because before that, he didn’t know that I was onto him. I made an outline and everything, and I practiced the speech a bunch of times. I made it through the whole thing without breaking down or losing my temper, and he just sort of.... sat there for awhile, until Haley made him apologize.

It was a really good apology. He said that he had justified the whole thing to himself, but now he understood that his actions were wrong, and he was sorry that he hurt me. I think it was genuine. He was visibly upset when he found out I’d been having panic attacks about it.

On the one hand, I don’t think he’s a threat to me anymore. He won’t pull that shit again. On the other hand, we aren't talking to each other anymore, and he’s avoiding me. In all honesty, I appreciate that, but even though I know I shouldn’t, I feel guilty for hurting him.

Haley said that he cried a lot after I left. I know that doesn’t change anything. No matter how genuine his feelings towards me are, they don’t excuse his behavior. He manipulated me, and even if it was for honest-to-God-Disney-princess-True-Love, he had no excuse to violate my trust or my autonomy like that.

I still feel guilty. I’m actively repressing the urge to call and see if he’s okay. I’m not gonna do it, but the urge is there.

It’s just been.... a week. I don’t know, guys. I’m struggling.

#asks #ft way too much personal info

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pyro-flug · 7 years ago

Text

Wobbly Start

Paperhat Month day’s 7 and 8 combo’d into 1 big write (overprotective and first date)

“Are you sure you want to do this, sir?”

Blackhat froze mid-step at Flug’s words sent his thoughts into a spin for the millionth time that day.

What am I doing? Can I do this? Im gonna throw up if I don’t- what am I- WhatifIcan’twhatifIscrewthisupandeverythinggoeswrongIdon’tknowhowtohandlethesehumanemotions

“Sir?” Flug had his hand on Blackhat’s shoulder out of concern. The thoughts melted away as Blackhat looked at Flug in his high waisted jeans and soft red sweater. Then he looked into his eyes and the worry he found there grounded the eldritch again.

“My apologies, doctor, I’ve just never done this before...” Blackhat mumbled off-handedly. The soft laugh that Flug let out had Blackhat on edge until the scientist followed it with,

“I’m sorry for laughing sir, I just hadn’t pinned you for the type to be so nervous for a first date. Nerves are more of my territory.”

“I’m not nervous!” Blackhat denied vehemently. “I’m just....” But he couldn’t find a good excuse to finish with, so he just went silent.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little apprehension before a date, Blackhat.” Instead of answering, Blackhat opened the front door and gestured for his date to go through. As Flug walked outside into the evening air he wished that he could do more to help his new boyfriend, but if the eldritch wasn't ready to open up yet, he’d just have to be patient.

First, the two went and saw some new nerdy science fiction movie; Flug had insisted that it sounded good and who was Blackhat to deny him? The best part for the eldritch was the mixed reactions of ridicule and awe that the Doctor came out of the theatre with. About some parts of the movie he ranted on about how unrealistic they were or how they could have created some of the inventions in a much simpler manner. For other parts he babbled on about how amazing some of the concepts were and how they could be brought to life by his own hands. Blackhat couldn’t help the chuckle he let out along with saying,

“Well then I can expect you to try your hands at making them, right, Flug?” The scientist gasped and then turned and squished Blackhat’s cheeks between his hands in his excitement as they stood in the middle of the parking lot.

“Do you really mean that, sir!!! You’d let me do that!!!” Blackhat reached up and grabbed Flug’s wrists and gently tugged them away from his face and then held them.

“Well why not? Have I not let you choose what to invent in the past?” The doctor looked down as their hands and watched as Blackhat’s grey clawed fingers rubbed soft circles into his knuckles.

“Well... erm... I mean technically, but I’ve always felt that there was something you wanted and so I’d usually make those things and well...” Blackhat furrowed his brows and cleared his throat to get Flug’s attention.

“I’ve always trusted you to make whatever you thought was best for the company, Flug. That’s why I’m telling you that you could make these inventions because I know you’d make them effective and beneficial.”

“You trust me?”

“Of course I do.” Despite the paper bag in the way, Blackhat could tell that his boyfriend was positively beaming.

“Well then come on, sir! I have something I want to show you then!” Then Flug let go of one hand and held tight to the other as he took off running. Blackhat was quick to follow suit.

Buildings and trees flew by as they went. The sun that was almost set, giving way to a 3/4th’s moon and a spattering of stars high above. When Flug came to sudden stop, the eldritch nearly crashed into him. After shaking away the disorientation, Blackhat took in his surrounds and felt a strange emotion flood him.

They must have been in the middle of the city park judging by their surroundings. In front of them through was a huge fountain. The center piece to it was a huge swan with his beak opened towards the sky. Around this were other smaller swans and dolphins leaping towards the stars. What was most stunning through was the lights that glanced off of the arches of water and white marble in a myriad of colors. Even Blackhat, an eldritch being who had seen many things, was stunned into silence.

Beside him, Flug was elated to see that his boyfriend loved the fountain as much as he did, and so he hooked his arm through the eldritch’s and leaned into him.

“I didn't know this is what the fountain looked like at night,” Blackhat finally murmured.

“I’m glad you like it, Black Hat,” Flug giggled. “I discovered it on a night I was having trouble sleeping, and so I took a walk... It’s very calming, isn't it?”

“It is...” But with a loud bang the peaceful moment was shattered.

Blackhat cried out and was knocked forward into the water as something slammed into his shoulder and then tore through it. Flug turned around to see a figure emerging from the bushes with a malignant grin on their face.

“Hey there, Blackhat! Been a while, hasn’t it?!” The high-pitched voiced shadow stepped into the light to reveal a monstrous being. Purple skin was mostly covered by a turtleneck tank top and black athletic pants. A pair of horns curled back around long pointed ears, and yellow cat-like eyes gleamed with murder.

“Fang?” Blackhat grunted out from behind. Flug turned back around to find the eldritch bleeding dark green, and staring wide-eyed at his assailant.

“The one and only! I know you thought you’d left me for dead all those years back, but someone saved me just so I could come back and kill you someday!”

“How did you-”

“I’ve been waiting for months to get you at a vulnerable moment, Blackie! This date you’ve been having with your stupid little boytoy has let your guard down enough finally so, here I am!” Fang moved in towards Flug until they were towering over him. “You used to tell me that love was a weakness, Blackie, Best to get rid of those.” The sharp toothed smirk Fang flashed at Blackhat shot a cold fear down the eldritch spine.

“Don’t hurt him!” Blackhat cried out. Just as the words left him though Flug was flying across the grass from a punch to the face. Fury flooded Blackhat’s veins and a snarl curled his lips. Standing up in water Blackhat tried to shift his form so he could destroy his nemesis, but he found that he was numb. Fang laughed cruelly.

“It took forever but apparently my neutralizing bullets work now, huh?” Blackhat attempted to shift again, but he only felt pain from the still slowly bleeding bullet wound. Fang reach over the pool’s edge and pulled Blackhat in by the lapels of his suit coat. “How’s it feel to be powerless!”

“MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY IT TOO!” Came Flug’s voice, then there was a flash of green, and Fang screeched. The creature let go of his prey to grasp at the open hole in it’s side. Then Fang was tacked to the ground by Flug, who punched them square in the jaw. “Take that!” Another punch. “And that, jerk!” Each word was accented by a carefully calculated fist. “Go! To! Hell! And never touch my boyfriend again!” Flug was breathing heavily, and the person beneath him bruised and bleeding. A loud splash as Blackhat collapsed back into the fountain had Flug off of Fang and immediately at the eldritch side.

“Blackhat! Sir! Are you okay!?” As green dripped down and then dissipated into the water laughter filled the night air; Blackhat was shaking with with mirth as Flug fussed over him. “Sir! What’s so funny?! You’re injured!” Blackhat grabbed the doctor’s face, and looked him in the eyes.

“I just didn't know you were so protective of me, Flug!” The deadly smile and the flicker of a forked tongue had the scientist knowing just how much teasing he was going to get over this incident.

“S-sir- I just- I just was trying to make sure you were okay! I-I didn’t-”

“If you weren't being overprotective then why did you feel the need to punch my assassin to the brink of death?”

“Sh-shut up!” Flug left Blackhat in the water and pulled out a sleek, red, gun looking object. “I gotta take care of this before you keep blathering on and distract me anymore.” Then he pulled a trigger and the nearly dead body of Fang disappeared in a puff of smoke and red light. “There, now they won't be coming back to hurt you again.”

Blackhat opened his mouth to comment on his boyfriend's behavior when suddenly a needle was being jammed into his upper arm.

“AhhHHHh aRRRGGG! That STINGS!” Flug was giving him a deadpanned look that told the eldritch he was done with the teasing.

“I just gave you a serum that should reverse the effects of the bullet, so shift your wound closed...and maybe tell me what happened back there?”

“What do you mean?” Flug offered a hand to help Blackhat out of the water tossed him a small blue disc and told him that it would dry his clothes before answering.

“I mean with you freezing up when I was threatened rather than attacking right away like I know you usually would? Were you ... scared of something?”

“I...” Blackhat’s face fell, and he couldn’t look at the doctor.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I just... I’ve been on edge all night even if I haven’t been showing it and I-I-” Blackhat’s fists clenched by his sides, as he struggled to hold back the hot tears building behind his eye. “I’ve been scared that I was going to ruin this date somehow and you’d hate me, andIdon’tknowhyI’mgettingsoanxiousoverthisstuff I’m not a human, and I’m sorry!” Blackhat was trembling and he hated it. He felt weak and vulnerable but he didn't know how to control his new emotions so he couldn’t put an end to them.

“Hey,” Flug’s voice was soft like a comforting blanket. “I’m right here, Blackhat, and you didn't ruin the date, you can’t ruin this date, because I love you. I know you’re not human, and I know you’re tryin’ to figure out your emotions, so I’m not here to pressure you into being some kind of perfect boyfriend or something, cause that’s not what I expect from you. All I expect is for you to try, and I can see that you are.”Flug wiped away a stray tear and gently cupped his boyfriend’s cheek. “You’re doing you're best.”

“But what about Fang and-”

“Hey, Fang’s gone now, and we should go try to do something fun to get them off our minds.”

“Do you have an idea of where to go where we might not run into people trying to kill me?” The way that Flug lit up had a a slight anxiety filling Blackhat’s head again.

“I was thinking of late night roller skating!”

“I don't know how to-”

“Don’t worry! I’ll teach you,sir!” Grabbing the Eldritch’s hand again. “We’ll make this night good again,don't worry!” Then they were off again as the moon rose higher. Blackhat’s worry was finally gone by the time Flug pulled him out onto the rink. He knew now that he couldn’t screw up their date, even if he was still learning how to be a good boyfriend. Flug would love him all through the ups and downs of leanring how to feel, and that’s all that mattered.

#paperhat #paperhat month #dr flug #blackhat #my writing

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3inghao · 7 years ago

Note

crush anon here and AHHHHH I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON bc i feel like out of all of us we have the weirdest (?) relationship bc we dont even have each other on social media or each others numbers and like again im still not in their group chat?? only me and my other suitemate (the other asian girl) arent in the group chat??? which is like,, really weird bc they mention it a lot but theyve never made any moves to add (1/15)

us to the group chat and like thats not really something you can just like,, ask to join,,, and so they all hang out and grab meals together or whatever and idk i guess its just bc they dont have as much schoolwork i guess?? and my roommate and him are both film majors so they have similar classes and i guess i just havent had that many opportunities to hang out otherwise?? but like ive only seen him once since drunk (2/15)

night and it was yesterday and it was because he was downstairs in the dance room of our hall taking pictures of three of the girls from our friend group for his hw and after theywere done they just came up toour room and hung out and like ,, i wanted to talk to him more but then my friend started swiping through her tinder and so he started to swipe through his and then my roommate and her started doing the matches (3/15)

on tinder for him and it was like,, they were judging the girls as they went by like ‘oh shes cute’ or ‘oh my god shes so weird’ and it was mostly them but i felt really uncomfortable bc they were all like attractive girls and i was like ahh,,, i guess theres me the potato ,, and like i dont want my friends to know i like him either bc 1. theyd all think its like the worst idea in the world bc everyone knows how much of a player he is (4/15)

2. i still dont know if my roommates into him and 3. i still dont really know him super well and it would just be so weird for the friend group?? dating within the friend group would be a terrrrrrible idea too,,, and like im so confused about what to do but one thing i do know is that i will never tell the friend group at least until i get closer to them and him.. and even so i dont think he likes me,, although i do think hes intrigued by me,, (5/15)

if that makes any kind of sense at all… i know hes actively trying to hook up/date other girls bc of the whole tinder incident and also the other guy friend in our friend group (went to hs with x) told us that he was trying to get with this british girl he met in an elevator bc she was super pretty (and again when i say super pretty i mean it bc the girls they were swiping left on tinder were all so pretty too ????) but yeah i just felt my (6/15)

stomach drop when i heard that bc i knew what kind of guy he was even before i had a crush on him but i cant help but feel so terrible whenever stuff like that happens.. and yet at the same time i feel like our dynamic is different anyways?? like idk if this makes sense but you know when you can just feel like theres something more to your relationship with a person?? like idk this might just be me projecting my delusional (7/15)

hopes and desires onto this interpretation but i can sense like we are both trying to feel each other out, and that we dont really know how to act around each other, and i feel like im so crazy and i must be imagining it but every time we make eye contact it always feels just a tiny bit longer than normal or with other people??? you know????? im honestly going insane thinking about this,, and every time we were together (8/15)

before drunk night i would shut myself down around him like i tried to avoid eye contact or engaging in conversation bc i was so scared of letting myself fall for him but it happened anyways and now im still scared but im trying to put myself out there and engage with him but then things happen like the tinder thing and i just shut right back down yesterday and pretended like i was really focused on my schoolwork or my (9/15)

readings and ahhh i really dont know whats going on anymore i still have so much hw to do on top of that and i dont see him often bc he doesnt live in the same hall as me, im not in the group chat, and im not the same major as him so essentially we only hang out on the weekends or occasionally on the weekdays if he comes over to our dorms bc my suitemates invite him or whatever ahhhhhh i cant stop thinking about it (10/15)

and i just keep oscillating back and forth from thinking that somethings finally gonna happen and that theres a crazy spark there to thinking that theres absolutely zero interest from his end and that he would never like me and that i would never want to be with a guy like that anyways and ahhhhh i know i just have to wait it out and continue to work on it (at least being his friend) but at the same time i feel like i should just drop the (11/15)

whole thing and pretend like that drunk night never happened and just treat him with polite distance and act like my opinion of him is 100% just neutral guy that im kinda friends with and has had some good times with but i also know nothing will ever happen unless im trying from my end and actively showing interest in him but again it would be so weird bc i cant flirt with him bc my friends would 1000000% be able to tell and i (12/15)

know its still too early ahhhh my head is spinning im literally going insane AHHHHHHHHHHH sorry and literally just as im writing this my roommate is facetiming her friend and was telling her a story and she referred to our group as ‘our friend group and also two other people who live with us’ MEANING she doesnt consider me and the other girl to be part of the friend group and i knew that deep down i really wasnt but i (13/15)

hang out with these guys a lot and i try my best to be supportive but not too clingy and idk what im doing wrong??? why do people not want to be my friend??? i?????????? im sorry for being so depressing but this is legit what i feel !!! and ahh i just kinda want to distance myself away from these people and get my own friend group but at the same time i dont bc i love these people but the thing is i dont know/i dont think (14/15)

they love me !!!!! wowie wow wow anyways that was my entire fucking rant about life in general and im sorry if im burdening you but i hope this message finds you well

AHHHHHHH CRUSH ANON IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS I’m starting to feel better now I was at a real low place the past two weeks and just feeling bleh but i’m getting some help and i’ll be fine :))) but since it’s been so long WHAT ELSE HAS HAPPENED i don’t think you need to give up on your feelings for him and i don’t think you need to give up on the friend group, they’ve probs just been more tight-knit for longer so it’ll just take time before you’re fully part of the group, if that’s what u want. Don’t stress about the boy tho!!!! if it’s meant to happen it will ya know, you can’t force something. Maybe try just being friends with him first and maybe go from there?? ahhh i feel so bad at giving advice lolollll i hope i’m helpful or can just be some that can lend an ear to you to rant

#💫

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undeadpsycho13 · 8 years ago

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a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart

AHHHHHH GUYS LOOK IM SO SO SO SORRRRRRYYYYYY I SWEAR I HAD THIS FINISHED LAST FRIDAY I JUST FORGOT IM SORRRRYYYYY

i know this chapter is one week overdue, and i hope u guys can forgive me. i swear i had it done ages ago, just forgot to post it. also, its more than twice the length of the first chapter, if that makes up for anything.

thank you to @puzzle-of-life-reason-for-death for the reminder, this chapter is for you!! :D

btw, some chinese swear words are involved, and the translations are at the bottom. if u dont like them, rlly sorry, i just thought it might be fun, cause you know, both baits and an speak chinese canon, and so do i, so why not?

tell me if u dont like it, i wont include them in the next chapter

otherwise, enjoy~~ ^_~

CHAPTER 2: JUST A TINY PART OF ME (FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU)

The second time was not so much of an accident, but oh well, not-accidents happen all the time, don’t they?

The annoying door ringing speaker thing once again announced Baitsakhan’s appearance at Endgame. A very pissed Baitsakhan. A very pissed Baitsakhan who had not had coffee in the last three days and was currently dying of lack of caffeine in his bloodstream. Red Bull was a poor substitute; he needed freaking coffee. The darker, the better. The scene from last week flashed back in his face, and Baitsakhan cringed a little on the inside. He was not willing to make a fool of himself again.

He had surprised both his sister and An by staying away from coffee for four days, and then couldn’t help but get some coffee from The Starbucks. At least he had figured out the barista’s name. Hilal Ibn Isa Al-Salt. He was awful proud of his memory; who on earth had long-ass names like that? For once, he was appreciative of his unique, surname-less name.

But the Al-Salt guy’s infuriating niceness had gotten the better of him, and he had once again scared Baitsakhan away with a honey-bee-pesticide-banning petition. Who cares whether bees died? Screw them.

The absence of a sufficient amount of caffeine, however, was not his only problem. The Phone Guy (as baitsakhan had deemed him) had texted him back, albeit the dire-sounding warning, with a outrageous reply of, omg so sry got the wrong # D: rlly rlly sry :(. And then, of all the emojis he could have typed, he chose the freaking <3.

Needless to say, Baitsakhan was pissed. No one, no one the whole damn world, was allowed to send him a heart emoji (save Sarangerel and An’s incredibly sweet girlfriend Chiyoko, but that as different), and yet this complete stranger had taken it upon himself (or herself, he added as an afterthought) to send him one. This was an outrage. He would not dignify this text with an answer, he thought to himself.

So, naturally, he just had to go to that nice coffee shop to calm himself down. Just had to. And it had nothing to do with wanting to the hot barista. Absolutely nothing.

Seating himself at the table closest to the window, he took out his phone, absent-mindedly scrolling through his playlist.

An indefinite amount of time passes.

And then, out of the blue, a hand suddenly tapped him shoulder, and, startled, he whipped around, teeth bared, hands out in front of him in an offensive position, ready to gouge the offenders eyeballs out ––

The cute barista (Maccabee, his mind supplied) is, apparently, said offender.

Great, there’s another person who thinks he’s a psychopathic weirdo (not that he isn’t, but still).

But instead of freaking out at his overreaction, the guy laughs. Who even does that after a near-death experience? (Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating, but there’s no denying this guy was weird.)

“Chill dude, just here to take your order.”

Met with Baitsakhan’s blank look, the guy raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Look, I love having you here, but if you don’t order something, like, right now, I’m going to have to kick you out, ’cause I just got this job and I really don’t want to lose it. You know, you’ve been sitting here for like half an hour doing nothing.”

Holy hell, he’s been wasting thirty minutes doing nothing?! Scrambling up (in a very dignified way, of course), he says, in a voice he hopes is impassive,

“Sure, I’ll have an espresso or something, like that thing you made last time. If you don’t remember, I’ll just have the thing with the most caffeine.”

Maccabee (again, this is all his brain’s doing, there is no way Baitsakhan would consciously remember people’s names, even super hot guys) laughs at that, shaking his head.

“Of course I remember, who would be able to forget the order of the cutest guy we’ve had here since I started working?”

The blond is nice to enough not show any visible reaction to the way Baitsakhan’s face burns a deep red color at his comment, and instead smiles a bit lopsidedly and turns to go. Suddenly he pauses, turns back to face the noirette, and before Baitsakhan can do anything the older teen quickly winks, so fast it was almost missed, and continues on towards the counter.

For the next five minutes, until Maccabee comes back with his drink, Baitsakhan just sits there, eyes wide, mouth gaping like a fish, shell-shocked. Even then all he can do is close his mouth and nod his head politely.

A buzz from his phone catches his attention, finally rousing him from his stupor. For a moment, he thinks that it’s the Phone Guy again, but when he see’s "Asian Hacker Lovebird”, he smiles to himself and swipes the screen sideways to reply. Though he would never admit it, An crashing into his life nine years ago really made his life better a thousand-fold. He remembered first arriving in North America, a bitter, parent-less seven year-old, small for his age but savage and aggressive, despite the language barrier. Oh, he learned English in his due time, but back then, really all he could say were a few basic swear words that immediately earned him half a dozen enemies. The one person he gravitated towards was a kid in the year above him, a Chinese boy who was all glares and rule-breaking and rebellious behaviour. Looking at his slim frame and lanky form, people would be led to falsely believe that An was all bark and no bite.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

Professional in at least ten different types of martial arts and an expert at (illegal) poisons and (illegal) hacking, An was definitely a formidable opponent. Baitsakhan’s type of guy. They were the perfect pair, both cold and haughty at school and in public. No one needed to know they played video games together well into the night and had weird movie marathons on a regular basis and smiled until their face’s hurt and laughed until they couldn’t breathe.

He was a good friend, cynical, with a dry sense of humor.

Right now, however, not so much.

asian hacker lovebird: where r u????

asian hacker lovebird: baits

asian hacker lovebird: answer me child

asian hacker lovebird: ANSWER ME CHILD

im-not-smol: Piss off.

asian hacker lovebird: THE CHILD IS HERE

im-not-smol: Don’t call me a child.

asian hacker lovebird: i repeat where r u

im-not-smol: A cafe.

asian hacker lovebird: specify

im-not-smol: Endgame Cafe.

asian hacker lovebird: U MEAN!!!

asian hacker lovebird: LIKE DA 1 W/ DA HOT BARISTA U RANT ABT 24/7??!!!!

asian hacker lovebird: OMG STAY RIGHT THERE DONT MOVE IMMA JOIN U

im-not-smol: Don’t you dare.

im-not-smol: 傻逼

asian hacker lovebird: oh no u did NOT just call me that

asian hacker lovebird: now i need 2 come 2 beat u up

asian hacker lovebird: it is a MUST

asian hacker lovebird: see ya in 2 min

im-not-smol: 王八蛋

asian hacker lovebird: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP IMMA COME OVER RN 2 BEAT UP UR STUPID ASS

im-not-smol: You can try. ;)

asian hacker lovebird: challenge accepted ur goin DOWN boi

im-not-smol: We’ll see about that.

asian hacker lovebird: ur “impecable grammar” rlly pisses me off

asian hacker lovebird: *imppecable

asian hacker lovebird: ugh

asian hacker lovebird: smthn watevr i kant spel

im-not-smol: It’s not my fault you turned autocorrect off.

asian hacker lovebird: when will u eva learn 2 txt like a normal person???

asian hacker lovebird: 好落后

asian hacker lovebird: just sayin

im-not-smol: Shut up.

asian hacker lovebird: look up

Baitsakhan raised his head, only to be met with the sight of a very distorted face right next to his head. And of course he didn’t scream Jesus Christ and shriek like a little girl, what are you talking about?

The weird twisted face outside morphed into a wicked grin and the doorbell rang once again as another customer entered, tears of mirth still apparent in his eyes. This new comer looked quite out of the ordinary, tall and dressed in nothing but black and silver, a face that was all harsh angles and sharp corners and pale skin. A contrasting red teardrop tattoo stood out, leaking out of his right eye, and his strange hair style earned him quite a few looks from the other customers.

“You’re so stupid.”

“Shut up, you will speak of this to no one, understand?”

Most people would quake with fear at the aggressive tone, but An just rolls his eyes,

“Normal people don’t speak like ancient three-hundred year-old vampires, Baits.”

He drops down on the chair opposing Baitsakhan’s, leaning back and crossing his legs, stretching them out in front of him, a picture of complete ease.

“So, where’s the hot shot?” An says in a mock-whisper tone. Baitsakhan glares at him before subtly motioning towards the counter, where Maccabee is leaning against it, his phone one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. For a moment, An just stares, a small smirk on his face (not that the smirk ever disappears), whistling appreciatively. And then, out of the blue, he shouts, so loud that he attracts probably the attention of everyone else in the mile radius,

“Hey there, aren’t employees not supposed to serve themselves?”

Startled, Maccabee looks up. He sees An’s triumphant expression and Baitsakhan’s kill-me-now-please-just-shoot-me-and-save-me-from-the-torture one, and kind of gathers what happened. A lazy smile slips onto his face. He walks over, leisurely, still holding the half-finished drink.

“You’re right. But… ” He pauses for effect, and in that short amount of time An actually gets around to rolling his eyes again. The boy really gets a lot of practice.

“I’m off duty. Ais over there took over for me.”

He gestures at a red-headed girl who has somehow managed to escape their notice until then. For a moment, a strange look flits across Baitsakhan’s face, but as quickly as it got materialises, it disappears.

An shrugs.

“Oh. Good for you.” He says awkwardly.

There’s an uncomfortable silence, like the type when someone ought to say something but nobody does, before Baitsakhan finally interjects,

“Thanks for the coffee, but I think my friend and I should get going.” Here he pointedly glares at An, who stares innocently at the ceiling.

“How much is it again?”

Maccabee shrugs,

“Don’t worry about it, as long as you come again, it’s on the house.”

He winks suggestively.

Baitsakhan, of course, agrees. After all, who could say no to a free cup of coffee, right? And obviously, obviously it had no correlation to the fact that he actually wanted to come back to ogle the baristas. Duh, no.

When he first visited the coffee shop, Baitsakhan never imagined he would meet someone like this who flirted blatantly and paid for his drinks. When he first exited the coffee shop, he never thought he would come back again. When he came back the second time, he never thought that this place would impact his previously non-existent love life.

Only when they are outside the door, Baitsakhan for the second time, An the first, and An is laughing at his lovestruck (Baitsakhan would deny this) expression that Baitsakhan realises that maybe, maybe a tiny part of him has fallen in love with Maccabee.

(Just a tiny part.)

CHAPTER INDEX (for your convenience)

1 | 2

so. how’d you guys like it?

here are the translations:

傻逼 = dumbass/idiot

王八蛋 = its like f er (sry, i rlly dont like swearing in english in writing, i feel like ppl will track me down and yell at me)

好落后 = so behind (as in trends, like in the context of not caught up on the latest trends)

hope that cleared things up a bit, if not feel free to send me a quick message, and i’ll explain to you in detail.

anyways, any suggestions for the next chapter?? (i really need to change the texting usernames, any suggestions for the individual characters?? eventually all of the players are gonna get involved one way or another in the texting conversations)

#endgame #a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart #baitsabee #baitsakhan #maccabee #coffee shop!au

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