#sorry for the rambling. i'm very happy but also feeling financial regret

[copia]

i think someone has to grab me by the shoulders and look me in the eye and tell me VERY firmly, on and on until i believe it, that i'm seeing ghost live. because right now i'm finding it hard to wrap my head around and am just crashing after the stress fest that has been raging since 1pm yesterday

[realtalk-princeton]

Pre-frosh here. There seems to be a lot of talk about not fitting in on various sources online about Princeton. I've heard that the "dominant" culture is eating clubs, parties, etc. and, like anywhere, there are many subcultures. My brother, who is a senior at a different college, recommended to go to a school where I would fit into the dominant culture to feel the greatest sense of belonging. I'm not sure I would fit into the rich/party culture at Princeton. Should I find somewhere else to go?

Response from Aspen:

tbh, I think you’ll find this at any of the HYP type preppy schools but there isn’t so much of a party element here i’d say? I feel it most now that friends are in ivy/cannon/cottage doing initiations but this will literally only last a week before things are back to normal. the eating club culture is definitely a big one and one I struggled with for a while, but there are many clubs with many different vibes as well as a bunch of co-ops so I wouldn’t worry too much about finding an eating option that suits you. I found one that works super well for me (so far lol) and i didn’t feel like I even dug bicker or any of that system all that much

but! then this thing you mentioned about dominant culture comes in. I don’t think I fit in with the dominant culture of Princeton, but I’ve surrounded myself with like-minded people (and there are a lot of them, maybe even most nowadays? this could also be like a selection bias thing - read my other post) but still, there are a lot of people who fit the dominant stereotype who I am great friends with. I wouldn’t discredit it and I sound optimistic because obviously I chose to be here and I chose to stay... but... if I had the chance to do it over again without remembering any of what I did here... I’d like to say I wouldn’t go somewhere else? but maybe I could have been a hell of a lot happier somewhere else where I fit in better, where there was more of an outdoorsy kinda culture, closer to home, etc etc. 

It’s impossible to say looking back and I’m def the type of person to not regret decisions, so I am happy here, genuinely. I also don’t feel like I need to be some rebel and buck the quo to feel comfortable in my “subculture”. to answer the question a bit more directly, there is a space for everyone and in my experience (finding my space, and I don’t know how fringe I’d consider that to be but i digress) I haven’t felt excluded by not participating in the wealth status culture in some ways. I guess I’d add that for my closest friends, I literally have no idea what their financial status is like because they don’t flaunt it in the way Princeton has a tendency to do.

sorry this was rambly (im doing that a lot lately here) but anyone else feel free to add on, this was just kinda my reflection on the question. if you can make it out of here and move through your jaded stage quickly, this can be a great place. if not, it can be very very rough.

Response from Orion:

I'm definitely not a big party person and I'm by no means rich, and I've definitely found places where I feel like I belong on campus. My friends and I have board game nights and watch movies a lot. I'm on a club sport, so we have a lot of fun social events (with and without alcohol). There's an Alcohol Initiative that funds nighttime activities that aren't going to the eating clubs. You'll find plenty to do. Believe it or not, I didn't actually go and party at an eating club for my entire freshman year, it just wasn't appealing to me. You'll find your people, don't worry. Going out seems to be less of a big deal after frosh week and early freshman year. I joined an eating club this year and there are lots of fun non-partying social events (and good financial aid at some, if that's a concern). You'll find your place, don't worry! I don't think it's a reason to not come to Princeton, but that's just me. Good luck in deciding :)