#sorry for the angst xie lian its in the tgcf fanfic handbook

[whisperinggbreeze]

(Spoilers for pretty much all of TGCF)

Xie Lian was angry. He was angry. He was so angry. He was angry, he was angry, he was angry, he was—

He was not angry at Wu Ming, the boy who kept changing his life and was now either purposely torturing him or failing to remember.

He wasn’t even angry at White No-Face. Bai Wuxiang. He hated him, he hated him, but he was not angry at him.

Xie Lian had stopped being angry at anyone a long time ago. He felt nothing towards anyone.

(That couldn’t be true. He hated, he had always hated, ever since he had been reborn. He hated, he hated, he hated—)

White Flower Collecting Souls had nobody to blame but himself. He was angry. He was angry. But he had always been angry at himself. When he was young, he was angry at others. He was angry at Mu Qing for leaving him, angry at Feng Xin for listening to him and leaving in the end as well, angry at his father, angry at his mother, angry at his Guoshi, angry at the heavenly emperor, angry at the gods, angry at heaven.

Angry at the ghost who had torn down Xianle like a poorly constructed gold foil palace.

But that was many centuries ago. Xie Lian had grown out of his anger. He was only ever angry at himself, and that really couldn’t be considered anger at all.

Anger was foolish, nonsensical, unnecessary. It wasn’t a strong enough word. Xie Lian hated himself, despised himself—

Right, he’d gotten off track. He was thinking about Wu Ming. Hua Cheng.

“Oh dear,” Xie Lian sighed, just now taking in his surroundings and remembering how he’d been screaming and tearing up the room he stood in just a few minutes ago. His throat was raw. He did not feel it. He did not feel anything.

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another extract for the calamity!xl / god!hc au! why did I start on chapter 2 before finishing chapter 1, you might ask? to that I say: please don't ask it'll make me sad :( (I do have the rest of chapter 1 vaguely planned out, so I might post another extract for that at some point)

as you can tell, the POV switches; currently I plan to switch every chapter but that might change depending on what POV fits the story better at that moment

i am slowly working my way through world building and story planning! ill be completely honest, this project was a spontaneous one so I kind of just jot down and incorporate ideas as they come lmao