#sorry for such an unnecessarily long and formal response to this ask but i felt like i needed to clarify
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xxsaints4girlsxx · 1 year ago
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'this isnt minors dni im not a cop' agsldlshgd i love u and HARD agree
kill the cop in your head!!!!! stop tryna police ppl!!!!!
yeah i mean i understand why some people say that - it's usually more for their own comfort than it is for the protection of minors. obviously teenagers with unfettered internet access are gonna find whatever content they look for, but i totally get wanting to post explicit shit without feeling like the audience is full of kids.
personally - the only nsfw stuff i even post is like, jokes about sex and/or drugs, commentary about sexual politics, plus occasionally suggestive art and artsy nude photography. i'm also a horror fan and a gothic literature enjoyer, so i might post somewhat gorey imagery and talk about things like abuse and other heavy topics in fiction.
if you're a young person on tumblr, i trust you to know yourself and what sort of thing you're comfortable seeing and can engage with in a mature way. if anything i post bothers you, please unfollow me. otherwise - do what you want, i'm not your mom, your principal, your boss, or your priest, and i'm sure as shit not a cop.
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gojology · 4 years ago
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Job Benefits. (Part One)
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new beginnings ‧₊˚✩彡. - chapter one.
you can find part two here : part two : undesirable
pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader
warnings : cursing
wordcount : 1960
a/n : something that i’ve been working on for a while now. this is self indulgent as all hell and i’m starting a new series n idk when it’ll end necessarily but ceo gojo is all i need in my life. also i have like 300 million requests to go through but i PROMISE i’ll get them done! i just need to finish my valentines event thingy and i’ll be open! 
it has come to my attention that gojo is his surname and i’m too lazy to fix anything other then the first name basis part im so sorry LOl
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         It’s no secret that you like working the office.      Even as a child you enjoyed the formal atmosphere when you walked into your parent’s workplace, and even better, you enjoyed organizing stuff. Growing up, your favorite pass time was cleaning and organizing which caused you to excel in school, coupled with your natural smarts. Your peers would constantly tease you, telling you that you were a boring kid- but hey, you’d be making lots of money, and what better job would there be for you, aside from being someone’s secretary?      Those were the first words that came across your mind as soon as you stepped into the prestigious building, heels rhythmically hitting the stainless floor, suitcase in hand. It was also the first lie that you’d tell yourself in there.      You had known about this company even as a child. One that sold just about everything, the most notable being luxurious clothing, but something the company was also well known for? How attractive the family was.      Sure it was a bit weird, but in defense of the general public their appearances were rare, only once in a while you’d see the family on TV. Waving in their limousine, blowing kisses and doing things rich people do, or maybe ignoring the cheering crowd of journalists and news reporters, hell like you knew.     Catching glimpses of the wildly white haired family was something every paparazzi threw themselves at, and picking up a magazine or going to search something on the internet would be sure to be chock full of pictures of the esteemed family. The highlight of the family being the son, just because of how handsome he was, and also happened to be the most publicly known and fawned over family member-     Gojo fucking Satoru.      Luckily for you, he was your boss, so you could probably reveal the tiniest of secrets and make major bank. Unluckily for you, he was childish as all hell, not to mention you found childish people incredibly annoying. The worst thing? You were his secretary.      That could only spell out doom for a man like him, and a woman like you, who only wanted to get business done and nothing else. You two truly did not mix.     Two months prior, you had gotten the job and was finally excited to have stable income after graduating. Your hirers didn’t tell you anything about having to babysit a manchild though.     And so, that’s how you found yourself sitting in the comfortable plush leather office chair, fumbling under the piles of paperwork and fan letters, cursing your boss’s name under your breath for being so unconcerned with work. Scheduling appointments, interviews, sending e-mails of unacceptance to eager authors asking to write an auto-biography, that was your life.      You’d be content with it if your boss was normal.      As soon as the thought crosses your mind, it’s like he heard you think.     “(Y/N)-chan~!” you hear a familiar sing-songy voice down the rather short hallway. Your office resided right next to his, and it would only take him 30 seconds or so to walk down to your door, presumably to annoy the hell out of you. You grunt, blowing a stray hair out of your face.     This also meant that you could hear him sing from his office, even through the thick walls.      Choosing to ignore it, you instead furiously typed to another business executive’s secretary who had just emailed you about a meeting between Gojo and- well you weren’t quite sure who.      “(Y/N)-chan~ I know you hear me, don’t you know it’s disrespectful to not listen to your seniors?” his playful, deep voice was growing closer, and you straighten your back, sighing. You didn’t sign up to be a daycare worker, yet this was what you found yourself doing most of the time.      “I’m sorry, Satoru-sama, please instill me with your great knowledge, oh wise one.” rolling your eyes and rubbing your temples, you glance up from your laptop, bracing yourself for whatever would happen next. Gojo leaned on the frame of your door, head ducking slightly. He was way too tall to walk under it without any issue.      He was unnecessarily calm though, normally he’d be jumping around your office, making a mess of things, but his body language told otherwise. He was slacking off from his duties, obviously, so you weren’t too sure why he’d be acting so... Chill.     With his arms crossed, he gave you a mischievous side eye.     Growing impatient, you stand up, your knuckles grinding against the tabletop. Your brow knitted together as he peered down on you, almost tauntingly, and you hated it.  “Listen, boss. I have a lot to do today, for you, might I add as I am your secretary- and if you’re going to sit around I don’t think I’ll get to these emails and phone calls and everything fast enough. May I kindly assist you with anything? If not I’ll have to ask you to go back to... Whatever you were doing.”      Gojo looked at you, wide-eyed and unblinking, like he didn’t expect such a sassy remark. “Oh my, sweetie. Someone has a naughty mouth... To your boss of all people? How mean! I don’t think I remember putting, ‘allowed to be rude to the Satoru clan’ down on the job benefits.. What’s with the formal tone as well? So unnecessary, just be yourself when you’re talking to me.”     He sauntered closer to your desk, and your breath hitched, this was one of the first times you’d seen him up close like this, and you swore that you could hear your heart beating rapidly inside of your chest. You don’t know what that could mean; but what you did know was that you wanted to slap him or punch a hole into the glass window right behind you and throw him off the 15 floor building. Leaning in close to your ear, he whispered:      “Or, if you wanna stick with the business voice- call me sir. Got that?”     You nod before looking down at your desk, feeling your body heat up for seemingly no particular reason. Did this guy have any knowledge of a private bubble? Whatever, this was your superior. If it was any boss you’d probably be fired by now. You were lucky to be forgiven.     “Yes, sir. May I comment on something... Er, sir?”     “I’m all ears.” standing back up from leaning over your incredibly messy desk, you looked up at him, he looked down at you in response, with beady little “innocent” eyes through his circular shades.      “I didn’t mean to be sassy, I only wish for this relationship to be professional and nothing else.... I, um, truly do apologize and I ask for your forgiveness.” you studied the wall as you say this, fidgeting with your hands and the hem of your pencil skirt. It was a bit awkward to talk to him as if he wasn’t a kid, but it did feel certainly refreshing.      “Is that so?” you turn your head to look back at him as a sign of respect, an eyebrow of his is raised, and a smug smirk is playing at his lips. He talked with such an aura of arrogance around him, you instantly regret being respectful. Yet, you restrain yourself from slapping that stupid smirk off his stupidly handsome face.      Why did all the handsome ones have to be so annoying?      Fuck, no, that wasn’t meant to be a compliment. Even though it was only in your mind, you felt so embarrassed, and had no idea why. It wasn’t like he could read your thoughts, and it was just a mindless compliment, nothing flirtatious about it.       Finally, he spoke. “Aw. (Y/N), I knew we picked well when we hired you. So respectful and professional! What more can I ask for out of a secretary? I humbly accept your apology- but first please do something for me.” he whistled in the other direction as he picked up one of your cute stationary pens, hastily sliding it into his blazer’s pockets.     “Yes, sir?” you brace yourself for impact yet again. Not noticing that he stole one of your favorite pens.     “Slack off a little. None of my secretaries ever worked this hard. I’ll slide in an extra hour for lunch, you can go watch a movie or something-”      “No. Satoru. Contrary to your other secretaries, I actually enjoy work.” standing up now, you stomp over to Gojo, who was now giggling like a 7 year old girl. You hadn’t realized that you had called him by his first name, but honorifics wasn’t on your mind right now.     Your chest stuck out as you shoved him out of your office with your bare hands, maybe as a way of looking more threatening, as if that’d ever work against him.     “Get out of my office!” You hope your eyes are staring daggers, if he ever looked back at you.     Gojo looked at you like he was shocked, tipping his shades down just slightly as you were pushing him out into the hallway. As if he didn’t believe what he was seeing, so he had to see it with his actual eyes- but eventually laughed before accepting his eventual fate.      “On a first name basis now, aren’t we? You’re straightforward! I like straightforward girls though, it works out in your favor.”     “Shut it.”      He made sure to stiffen once in a while just to piss you off so that you couldn’t push him as easily, and before long he was back to his office.       “Cya (Y/N)!” giving you a wave and a wink, he grinned. “I’ll be sure to visit you again, your office is fun!”       That was just one of the unusual interactions that Gojo Satoru had with you, but you knew now that it certainly wouldn’t be the last.  ‧₊˚✩彡.      It didn’t take you long before you realized your favorite pen was gone.       Almost immediately, you figured out who the thief was.       It was evident by now that your relationship between you and your boss wasn’t normal, to say the least. You just couldn’t quite wrap your head around why he stole a cute carrot pen, it certainly wasn’t his style. Well, you weren’t quite sure honestly, but the way the magazine front covers posed him was... Sexual.       Maybe the hot guy liked cute carrot pens and was too scared to buy them by himself, but, it was 2021. Toxic masculinity was basically extinct.      This wasn’t on his mind when he stole your pen, though. Gojo Satoru was smart when he wanted to be. To be quite honest, he just wanted to annoy you more. It made him curious, how could one enjoy work? And be cute at the same time?     The logic made no sense to him. Attending meetings, doing interviews- this was all very boring work to Satoru, and he couldn’t wrap his head around that you enjoyed that. He hadn’t asked to inherit the company, but yet here he was now. Shit, maybe he’d ask you if you wanted the company.      He yawned before drinking his coffee, just how he liked it before taking a sip he straightened his tie, just to make sure he looked extra clean and fresh when you busted down the door, ruffling his fluffy white hair as he did so.     Gojo hated the work environment, just to be straightforward. One thing he did enjoy was the complementary luxury coffee machine, alongside several sugar packets. Placing his impossibly long stick-like legs onto the table, he sighed happily.      Cute girl being his secretary, drinking yummy coffee, the sun rays warming up the back of his head, he was truly living the life.     And then he heard it.      Loud steps against the tile floor.      And then, his door flung open.         
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spicysoftsweet · 3 years ago
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Chapter 13
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Masterlist 
cw: nsfw, timeskip
 “Mmm.”
A soft moan of pleasure left Kumi’s lips as she continued to roll her hips slowly, a smile on her face as she leaned forward, letting her palms glide up her partner’s chest. His eyes seemed to glaze over with lust still as he looked upon her breasts, and she giggled.
It truly was nice to be with someone who definitely loved you more than you loved them, she thought fleetingly, then attempted to banish the idea from her own mind.
Perhaps it was an unkind thought. She liked the guy she was currently riding enough; Seiichi was nice to look at with heavy-lidded eyes, shaggy dirty blonde hair and an easy going smile, and he had been attentive and caring to her through these last couple of years as they futzed through medical school together.
At graduation just a couple weeks ago, he’d asked her how she felt about the two of them becoming official and she’d avoided the question, and he’d known better not to bring it up again. Kumi considered that he’d perhaps ask again now, now that she was hovering above him and his hands pressed firmly around her waist and she could feel her stomach coil tighter and tighter the longer they moved together.
He didn’t just like her more, he liked her too much for her comfort, she’d realized.
“Kumi, I-” he began, cheeks flushed, but then she’d cut him off abruptly.
“I’m moving back to Tokyo-” she blurted out, right before she felt herself snap and let out a strangled cry as she climaxed and promptly collapsed onto him. She could barely see his look of distress as he took in this sudden news, his cock softening inside her almost immediately, but she could feel the quickening pace of his heart. 
It was an asshole move.
“You’re what?” He asked.
Kumi shifted her legs as he slipped out of her, then rolled over to the side so that she was staring at the ceiling and not at him.
“I’m leaving this weekend,” she repeated, cheeks still warm as she recovered from her orgasm. The pensive, slightly amused look on her face was unchanging, as though she had simply told him about a funny dream she’d had, and Seiichi, who had thought he was making some progress all these years realized all at once that he’d never even cracked the surface of her frozen heart. The idea of him having wasted his time so thoroughly aggravated him suddenly.
“Were you ever going to fucking say anything?” He hissed. “Or did it just hit you spur of the moment to say something like this?”
She turned towards him, noting his now red-faced and angry expression, and placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it softly. There was something akin to pity in her look, but not love.
“I didn’t think it was important,” she replied simply.
She could have left it at that, and Seiichi may have calmed down and even considered bargaining with her - trips back and forth maybe, a vacation here or there, she just had to tell him that she still wanted him, in some capacity, and it would still be alright.
“You are important to me,” he said and attempted to mirror her action, but frowning, Kumi moved backwards and quickly made her way off the bed, redressing herself.
He watched her with anticipation, anxiety choking the words in his throat as she got ready to leave.
After an unnecessarily silent period of time, she turned to him and smiled widely, something unnatural and painful and flat all at once.
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way.”
---
“Why did you decide to become a doctor?”
Kumi hated this question every single time it was asked. The truest answer was when my middle school boyfriend died in a gang fight in front of me, mostly due to self-inflicted injury that could have been preventable if only I had the skills, but it wasn’t exactly the answer that earned her points with anyone. If anything, it only invited more unnecessary questions.
Instead, she offered something generic like, “I’ve always had a passion to take care of others and found that I was interested in the science of the human body and thus pursued my passion in this way.” It was sufficiently true, she figured, even if it wasn’t as exciting a reason.
The interviewer seemed to be impressed enough with the lackluster response, as she expected. Her grades were excellent, after all, so this interview was somewhat of a formality. The only thing that worried her was whether or not she was ready to move back to Tokyo for residency, and decided after very brief contemplation that she was.
It had been so many years since that event had happened, after all. She couldn’t possibly still be hung up on the past.
People died all the time; years of medical school had taught her this. She could prevent some death but not all.
When she’d received the residency position, she was excited as the program was top rated in the country for emergency medicine training, but then recalled that she likely had no one left in Tokyo. Her parents had long since moved to the United States permanently along with her grandmother who had taken her in charge up until she’d started college, and her brother, many years older, lived on the other end of the country. They weren’t close, even if she had wanted to be.
She had no one left. She’d even briefly wondered if she could bring Seiichi with her, and realized it would be too cruel to use him in this way. Seiichi would remain in their city, pursuing specialization in pediatrics, so his goals and her goals wouldn’t be compatible anyway.
Why Tokyo?
Her mother hated even the idea of moving back there, and she’d had to reassure her repeatedly that more than ten years had passed, so there was no way she’d return to that dark place she’d been in the latter fourteenth and entire fifteenth year of her life.
“Are you sure?” Her mother pressed.
“Yes, mom,” she reassured her. “I won’t even be living on the same side of the city.”
And I’m past it, she thought.
With that, she moved to a small apartment in Tokyo alone on a Saturday morning and started her first day of work as a newly minted doctor that very Monday.
The first day was busy and the emergency department was as busy and as hectic as she should have expected being in a major city, but she survived after putting in her hours, clocking out sometime between 13 to 15 hours after the beginning of her shift, exhausted and with no one to go home to. As she sat on the train, trying not to let her tired eyes glaze over, she downloaded a dating app, swiped left and right on a couple of strange faces then sighed loudly.
It was a dumb idea to meet men if she was going to have no one to call in case of an emergency.
Kumi made it to her new home, hopping into the shower, and changing into soft shorts and a pajama shirt immediately before preparing some instant noodles for dinner. She made a mental note to buy some real groceries sometime this weekend. She then quickly texted a message to her parents to tell them her first day had gone well.
She would be fine.
As she ate her meal in silence, her mind flitted to Kaksi for a moment. She wondered how she was doing. Should she contact her? They hadn’t spoken in over a decade. Did she miss her? Was she even still in this city?
She finished her meal and shook off the thought of digging up past relationships. She wouldn’t want to burrow too deeply and be hurt by what she found.
---
Kaksi rested the ends of her chopsticks on the dark blue and white hashioki in front of her. Then her brown eyes wandered outside, enjoying Tokyo’s skyline through the large glass windows of the private room she shared with her friend. Blue eyes studied her features quietly, while slender fingers brought the white chopsticks to rosy lips.
“Did you not like the food?”
“Oh, I did,” Kaksi replied in a soft voice. “I’m just not very hungry.”
Senju didn’t say anything for a moment. By now she had memorised all of Kaksi’s habits, which made it usually easy for her to pick up on her emotions and thoughts.
“Are you nervous?” she asked before taking a sip of her drink.
Kaksi smiled.
“I guess I am.”
Was this moment shared together their goodbye? As much as Senju preferred not to dwell on the future, she couldn’t ignore the inevitable change that Kazutora’s return would bring into her life. She had made a mistake, growing too comfortable treating Kaksi like she was hers when she was someone else’s all along.
Senju had never met Manjiro Sano despite the similar lifestyle they shared but back when Kaksi would still talk about him, she compared them a lot. Brahman’s leader used to believe she was nothing like him, the idea of ever leaving Kaksi behind unthinkable to her but now she wondered if the reason behind their fall out wasn’t just Mikey trying to spare his own feelings, something Senju failed to do by falling for her best friend.
She had been foolish to think Kaksi would fail to keep her promise. While they had shared more kisses that they could both count and uncovered the secrets to each other’s body in between almost forbidden confessions, Senju still wasn’t the one Kaksi wished to have by her side, or maybe she did. It had felt like she did so many times and it still felt that way as they walked out of the expensive restaurant too close to each other.
Kaksi’s hands were always so cold but Senju liked to warm them up. Tonight however the brunette wouldn’t let her like she had been doing for the past months. Senju was being selfish again, she knew. Kaksi couldn’t say no, not to her, not when she would give her those pleading blue eyes or slide her hand around her waist.
“Sen,” she said, irritated and distancing herself from her best friend.
But this time she had to say no.
“I don’t think I can do it, Kaksi.”
Kazutora would be out of jail in a few days and Kaksi had already planned out a future for them, one that she had desired ever since they had promised to never leave each other’s side back when they were children. It was unfair that she couldn’t preserve what she had built for the past years but if it wasn’t her then who would watch out for Kazutora? There was an obligation Kaksi felt to him, one that she felt like she could never get rid of but this was also what she wanted.
“I don’t think he would be happy in Tokyo,” she told her.
Senju rolled her eyes at her answer. Why was it that Kaksi always had to make her life revolve around him?
“Aren’t you happy in Tokyo?” she asked, voice louder as her irritation grew.
“I need a change of air.”
“Do you need a change of air or do you think Kazutora needs one?” Senju replied. “Because those are two very different things.”
“I think we do.”
Senju stayed quiet for a moment. She wondered if Kaksi could see that what she felt was beyond jealousy. If Kaksi didn’t want to stay by her side that was fine by her, as painful as it was but she wished her best friend would choose herself instead of someone else sometimes.
“You know, you can’t make decisions for others, Kaksi,” Senju reminded her. “You can only make decisions for yourself.”
Kaksi chuckled but it was irritation that she felt.
“This is not how I want things to end between us before I leave for Osaka,” Kaksi told her.
Then you could just stay, at least.
“I don’t think there is any other way for it to end,” Senju admitted, her blue eyes not hiding a sadness she had been containing for too long.
Kaksi fell silent, not sure about what she could say if this was really how they were meant to say goodbye to each other. Senju took a deep breath.
“I hope Kazutora and you enjoy Osaka,” she said with a genuine smile, contrasting with the disappointment and sadness she felt moments before.
But she meant those words. Maybe she was the one who didn’t get it, maybe this was what Kazutora desired and maybe this was something only Kaksi could offer and wanted to offer. There was nothing rational about feelings after all but even after experiencing all of those emotions, Senju couldn’t help thinking only a bit of madness could explain Kaksi’s behaviour sometimes.
If she did get it though. Then there was only one thing she needed Kaksi to remember even though she was choosing Kazutora right now and had planned to always do so.
“But if you don’t then come back to me in Tokyo.”
Kaksi’s eyes filled with tears at the sight of Senju’s smile. She couldn’t smile back but she nodded as she watched her walk away, in a direction she wouldn’t follow this time.
---
“You said you grew up in the city, right?” The girl situated beside Kumi asked, turning slightly in the booth of the bar. The man sitting directly across from her, who from the beginning of the gaokon had seemed to have set his sights on her, perked his ears up.
“I thought you were foreign!” he asked, and she flashed her most charming smile in response despite mild irritation, accepting a drink from her coworker as she spoke.
“Nope, I’ve been here since early childhood. Briefly moved just outside Kyoto in my teen years, but I guess technically Tokyo is my home,” she explained.
The young man before her nodded, leaning just close enough that she began to grow uncomfortable. She couldn’t tell if the man’s interest was related to an expectation that she’d put out more readily than the other women on this date, and just because of that, she was determined not to spend the night with him. Instead, she focused her attention on the girl behind her who was also desperately trying to avoid eye contact with another guy who had latched onto her.
This group blind date was a bust.
Kumi didn’t feel too bad about it, however. She would appreciate anything that allowed her not to think about work. An adolescent boy had come in earlier in the day with a stab wound, and despite the fact that this was not the first time she’d seen injured children or the sequela of gang violence, perhaps the fact that she was back in this city made it such that the event had unearthed some trauma. She found that her hands shook as she stabilized the teen and for a moment, she thought she had even seen a flash of Baji in that young boy and temporarily forgot how to breathe.
That couldn’t happen again.
She should be over it. She had to be.
“Would you like to meet again?” The man whose name she’d long since forgotten - Tadashi? Satoshi? - asked her at the close of the evening, when she’d made it sufficiently clear that she was just interested in going home.
She should have said no, but instead she politely exchanged phone numbers with him, fully intending to block him in three to five days.
But who knew when she’d be lonely again?
---
A week later, Kumi could get over the haunting visage of the young boy who looked everything and nothing like Baji, but she couldn’t get over the sudden talk of gang activity on the news she let play in the background while she reviewed medical publications.
A horrific truck accident, involving a young woman about her age, had taken the news by storm. Listening closer, she heard a name that sounded familiar but not recognizable.
Hinata Tachibana.
It felt like a name she should remember, but she figured they might have interacted before she had relocated for high school, and most of the things and people from before then were essentially blocked out of her memory.
But not the name Toman.
Kumi perked up, sipping onto her tea and folding her legs beneath her as she sat on the couch, finally setting her paper aside, now that the television had caught her interest. There were no real suspects, but the death was thought to be related to this group, as were a series of other random execution-like killings. Kumi took a look at the still image of the young woman’s face, eyes wide, noting that she definitely looked familiar to her, like she’d seen her at least once or twice a long time ago. She couldn’t imagine her having done anything wrong or any act that would anger someone enough to order her death.
Toman doesn’t kill. Toman doesn’t do real crime, she thought.
But times had changed, and maybe they did do real crime now. She wondered briefly if Mitsuya was still part of Toman. What had become of Mikey and Draken, and the rest?
Did Kaksi know what Toman had become over the years?
Kumi unconsciously reached for her phone beside her to call, then caught herself. She hesitated for a moment, letting the sudden wash of anxiety run through her, then shut off the television instead and returned to her reading.
Let sleeping dogs lie, she thought, and she spent the rest of her night, minding her own business, minding her future.
---
She wouldn’t have broken if not for her dream that night.
“Bambi, you don’t ever stop crying, do you?”
Kumi’s eyes jolted open at the sound of that voice, the mischievous laugh she remembered from her childhood, even if it was richer, an evolved version. It couldn’t be, could it?
But she was no longer in her room. Instead, she was somewhere warm and blindingly bright, where her eyes could barely adjust, and her body felt… lighter?
She rose to a sitting position, shielding her watering eyes from the light, only to be startled by a warm hand taking hers, interlacing their fingers.
“Kumi-chan, look.”
Her eyes opened again, and this time, rather than light unfocusing her, there was a man before her, with a face that was foreign yet oh-so-familiar, crouched down on one knee and still holding her hand gently.
Fangs grinned back at her, and she gasped.
“K-Kei..?”
Her voice came out no more than a squeak and suddenly in her heart she was fourteen again, and her lip started to quiver as she repeated his name again.
What did this mean? To be looking at him again, a him that was no longer dead just days before he turned fifteen, whose dark, wavy locks were even longer and whose face had aged just as much as hers, but with the same fox-like brown eyes that she’d fallen in love with a decade ago as part of a sharper angled, handsome face?
She repeated his name yet again, heart thumping and tears welling up in her eyes, and he cupped her face in her hands, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears.
He frowned.
“I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he said, a pensive look on his face. He sighed, and Kumi felt his lips press onto her forehead. Warm, soft lips that felt every bit as real as she did, and it only made her hurt more.
She was hallucinating. All of this was impossible, whatever this was.
So why did it feel so real?
“I miss you so much,” she choked out.
A decade had passed, and here she was. Conjuring up an image of Baji as he could have been if he had lived, something that may not be real. She wasn’t even sure he’d look like this - might he have cut his hair, or gotten his teeth fixed? How did she know what his voice would settle to be like in adulthood, and if this soothing baritone in her ears was anything close? How did she know he would grow to this height he now stood at, towering over her once he’d pulled her to her feet and pressed her head against his chest? How did she know what his arms would feel like wrapped around her? Would she actually have felt this safe and warm?
Would he have still cared for her, had he lived?
“I miss you too.”
She sobbed harder.
“How can you miss me when you’re dead?”
He paused, and let a hand stroke through her hair.
“Pretend.”
Almost shocked, she pulled back and looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He smiled sadly at her and shrugged.
“Pretend I’m still here with you. I’ll stay with you till morning comes,” he promised. "I can promise you at least this much.”
There’s a point where it’s easier to live in the delusion, and it was at this point, where Baji leaned in to kiss her, then embrace her in a way they never could in life. They drank deeply of each other throughout the night, connecting with each other physically and emotionally, and the young woman hoped that the cursed morning would never come, where she’d have to give up on this dream or vision or delusion or whatever the fuck it was, and return to reality.
But alas the dead cannot commune with the living forever.
Kumi woke up in a cold bed where Baji was no longer inside her or beside her or with her, and there was nothing that remained but messy bed sheets, dampness between her legs and unrelenting, fresh pain in her heart.
She brought her knees to her chest, and felt new anguish for the first time in years. Birds chirped outside her window to welcome the dawn and light seeped through her window, and on this cool Saturday morning, she had regressed to the same child curled up in blankets, encountering heartbreak for the first time.
Why?
Why couldn’t she get past this?
Her father had said it first. It’s just a boy.
And here she was, a grown woman, who no longer could love, hanging on desperately to a ghost.
Kumi’s phone alarm went off suddenly - she’d forgotten to turn it off - and she reached for her phone, her whole body shaking like a leaf. She was pathetic, despite the fact that she so desperately wanted to be strong.
And thus, the moment she quieted the alarm, she dialed the only person who could understand the pain she felt. Even if it was selfish. Even if it had been a decade.
She didn’t expect her to pick up, but she did.
“Kumi?”
The familiar sound of Kaksi’s voice made her want to weep in a different way. Relief rushing over a wave.
She sucked air into her lungs and smiled, warm, thankful tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Kaksi, I missed you so much.”
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hyunjin-bun · 4 years ago
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The  Good Mistake {Bokuto x Akaashi and Kuroo x Kenma}
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synopsis: Where Akaashi and Bokuto have to come to terms with how they feel and Kuroo and Kenma have to discover their feelings.
pairings: Bokuto x Akaashi and Kuroo x Kenma
genre: FLUFF! (or at least trying to be) crack (but like it wasn’t supposed to be that’s just what happened) mutual pining some light angst here and there.
warnings: Swearing if there are anymore you think i should add just dm me.
note: oh my god guys. Idk what to tell you just that this chapter is MASSIVE. Its over 4k words😲 and not my intention but i just couldn't find it in my heart to split this one up. Uhm so its the second last chapter and I’m honestly really proud of this one so hopefully ya’ll like it👀
If you’d like to be tagged just send me an ask (or a message if you feel to awkward with asks cos same👀💛) Enjoy!💕
I Missed You
Kuroo woke up with a start as his alarm on his phone blared. It was Monday and time to get ready for work. Turning around to switch his alarm off he remembered Kenma breaking down in his arms last night. And looked back to his other side and saw Kenma right where he’d left him. His eyes, although closed, were still puffy around the edges.  Otherwise, he seemed peaceful.
It made Kuroo’s heartbreak because he knew how important last night was for both of them but he wouldn’t be able to spend the day with Kenma. He didn’t want to wake him up but also didn’t want to leave without a word. He carefully untangled himself and walked towards Kenma’s pc, which was still on. He opened a new document and typed out a note knowing Kenma would go to his computer first.
I don’t know when you’ll wake up but I will most likely be at work when you do, and I felt that leaving without saying anything would be wrong. But Kozume, I will try to get home as soon as possible this evening because I really feel that I need to talk to you. So be ready at about six and we can go out tonight like we used to. See you then.
,Tetsurou  <3
After finishing the note, he got up, grabbed his phone, and closed the room as quietly as possible.
Only to walk straight into Bokuto. “Jesus Bo,” he whispered harshly while reeling back slightly. He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes rubbing the sleep off his face. “Wow, I’m sorry I have to go to practice early. Where you with Kenma the whole night, what happened?” Bokuto said with a questioning look.
He wouldn’t have been so curious if Kuroo hadn’t confided in him all the emotions he had been feeling for Kenma that one night the both of them got unnecessarily drunk and the other two boys had gone to bed early. “No no nothing happened we just haven’t spent a lot of time with each other recently so we watched some movies and caught up that’s all,” he said as he walked passed Bokuto to go get ready in his room.
Bokuto caught put his hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving further, “Look Kuroo, I have a feeling that you should say something to Kenma. I’m sure you’re scared of what it would entail between the two of you but you gotta take that leap bro.” Kuroo looked back at him and nodded slowly, “Thanks Bo, I’m thinking about it.” He started walking away as he remembered what he would be doing that evening. “Oh and I’ll be taking Kenma out tonight after work so we probably won't be home until quite late.”
Bokuto smiled at that, “That’s great dude! Okay well, I’m taking Keiji out for dinner tonight so we’ll probably be leaving the house after you fetch Kenma.” Kuroo nodded thanks and went to take a quick shower. He then grabbed his bag as well as all the documents he needed and left for work hoping that his day wouldn’t be too long.
<----->
The sun was fully up and shining intensely through his window when Kenma woke up. The air around him felt empty as he noticed the absence of Kuroo. He sat up as he remembered it was Monday so he probably woke up early to leave for work. He flopped back down onto his bed breathing in the scent of Kuroo mixing with his. It was intoxicating and sweet and he instantly missed the warmth that was next to him not so long ago.
His eyes felt heavy and he had a slight headache.  It had been an exhausting evening the night before trying to keep himself from doing anything stupid with Kuroo but he broke in the end and nearly fucked it up. After touching Kuroo’s face causing him to wake up, he panicked and just broke down, but even then, as he was falling apart, Kuroo held him and it felt like all the pieces of the puzzle that made up Kenma were glued together. He felt safe in Kuroo’s arms. Safer than he’d ever felt.
Deciding that maybe taking a shower would help with the slight headache and the puffiness of his face he got up slowly. He looked toward his pc and noticed a document open. He didn’t remember opening one the night before so he went towards it and noticed a short paragraph, it was from Kuroo.
He read the note over and over again and kept freezing at the heart Kuroo put after his name. He wanted Kenma to be ready at six so they could go out and talk. What could Kuroo possible want to talk about tonight?
Kenma started to get worried and figured Kuroo had realised what the problem was and was just trying to find a way to let him down easily. The time was 12 pm so he had a few more hours to psyche himself up for what was going to happen. 
<----->
The day moved agonizingly slow for Kuroo, but finally, after he finished some filing his boss said it was okay for him to go at ten to six. Kuroo groaned in frustration as he got into his car. It took 15 minutes to get back to their apartment, that’s if he was lucky and there was no traffic. As he got onto the highway he switched his radio on to have some music in the background to calm his nerves at least a little. He thanked his lucky stars as he saw there was no traffic.
He looked at his watch and noticed he was five minutes late already so opting to not make Kenma wait any longer than he had to he decided against going inside to change. He loosened his tie and threw it into the back of his car and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt which helped cool him down while his heart raced a mile a minute.
He pulled up in front of their apartment building but there was no sign of Kenma. He hadn’t messaged him or gotten confirmation if he even wanted to go or not so he decided to send him a message.
Kuroo: Hey, I’m waiting outside. Do you wanna go out tonight? It's okay if you don’t
His palms started sweating as he expected Kenma to say no. He sighed with relief as a notification popped up.
Kenma: I do, I’m coming.
His response was short and simple but it made Kuroo’s stomach burst with butterflies. He smiled and couldn’t stop. He put his phone into the console and got out to stretch his legs for a couple of seconds and take off his blazer.
He heard the buzzer of the door to the building and looked up to see Kenma stumbling down the steps towards the car.
Kenma looked up at him looking almost defensive. Kuroo smiled at him hoping to ease him up a bit, “You ready to go Kenma?” Kenma looked at him almost annoyed, “I’ve been waiting since six so I guess so.” He said as he opened the car door and Kuroo laughed at the playful rudeness.
Kenma hopped into the passenger seat and Kuroo got into the drivers. “Okay so, what do you wanna do first?” he said as he buckled his seat belt.
“I thought you had something already planned,” Kenma looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean, I don’t I kinda just wanted to do things you want to I guess,” Kuroo said as he shrugged his shoulders.
Kenma sighed as he put his legs up on the dash, “Okay well, I’m kind of hungry I guess.” Kuroo praised his choice because he was practically starving; the last time he ate was a quick sandwich he bought from the café down the road from his work.
Starting the car, he drove to their favourite restaurant, which was not very far from where they stayed.  As they got out of the car it gave Kuroo a moment to notice Kenma’s appearance, he was wearing an obnoxiously bright yellow hoodie and black sweatpants. His hear was tied back in a low messy bun. Some strands of hair were too short to fit so they just hung loosely and almost angelically framed his face.
It was a bit chilly out so Kuroo grabbed the spare sweater he kept in his car. Now he looked somewhat less formal.
Kenma shivered as the walked up the path to the restaurant. He almost thought that the air around them would be awkward and uncomfortable but as per usual with Kuroo he somehow managed to put Kenma at ease. Every time.
This time it was the smile he got from Kuroo as he walked to the car earlier. It relieved some of the anxiety that had started to build up in the pit of his stomach. They got a booth almost at the back of the restaurant and Kenma couldn’t help but feel like he was on a date with Kuroo but he knew it was anything but that.
It felt very private sitting where they were sitting. Kenma liked it like this. He watched as Kuroo sat down and opened the menu to pick something. Kenma mirrored him even though he knew what he’d be getting. They ordered their drinks and food at the same time and the waiter left.
Kuroo put his elbows up on the table and balanced one hand under his chin looking at Kenma, “You wanna talk about what happened last night or not now?” Kenma placed his hand on the table trying to seem more open. He didn’t want Kuroo to think he’d keep being defensive. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to talk yet Tetsu.”
Kuroo huffed out a small chuckle and smiled at him, “That’s okay we can build up to it, what did you do today?” Kenma started to relax as he recounted probably his most boring day ever. He wasn’t really in the mood to stream because he knows his fans would have noticed how anxious he was and he wasn’t up to answering the questions they would throw at him so he’d basically sat and played games.
Kuroo looked almost sympathetic, “Why didn’t you feel up to streaming?” Kenma shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess it’s the same reason for last night.” Kuroo nodded and was about to say something when the waiter arrived with their order. While eating he listened carefully as Kuroo told him about how boring his day was too and how it went by so slowly because he was looking forward to tonight. This surprised Kenma. What was Kuroo so excited about?
He decided asking won't kill anyone except maybe his will to live. “Wha-Kenma why wouldn’t I be excited? We haven’t hung out like this in a long time and well,” he paused and couldn’t help the blood rush up to his cheeks, “Well I missed you Kenma.”
Kenma was taken aback at how forward Kuroo was being. Of course, they’d been forward with each other in the past about certain small things but never about each other. He felt a glimmer of hope in his heart at this.
Kuroo was worried if he’d said too much because of the look of surprise on Kenma’s face. Kenma looked down at his food and mumbled just loud enough for Kuroo to hear, “Well I’ve missed you too.”
Kenma looked back up to see Kuroo practically beaming, and Kenma couldn’t help but smile at him in return as his ears burned. They continued to eat in comfortable silence.
Kenma was nearly finished with his sushi when Kuroo asked what he wanted to do next. “Mmn no I chose the first thing, it's your turn now,” Kenma said after gulping the last bit of food down. Kuroo just smiled at him, “okay fine.” He didn’t say anymore and asked for the bill.
After paying they went to the car and Kenma stopped before opening the door. “Okay, where are we going Tetsu?” The man supported a mischievous grin on his face while shaking his head, “You’ll have to see when we get there Kenma.”
Kuroo drove for about 10 minutes and suddenly they were in the heart of the city. He parallel parked on the side of the street and looked at Kenma “You ready?” “Kuroo I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be ready for,” Kenma said incredulously. “Come on then,” Kuroo said as he stepped out of the car.
Kenma followed suit and shuffled closer to Kuroo when he walked around the car. It was busy in the city. Not as busy as it would be on a weekend but close enough. “Hold my hand so you don’t lose me?” Kuroo said, observing the fact that Kenma was becoming reserved at the sight of all the people walking around.
Kenma looked up at Kuroo with his eyes wide, “uh-uhm, you want to hold my hand?” he said as his face gradually got hotter. “Well yeah so I don’t lose you in the crowd,” he noted as he held out his hand for Kenma to take. Kenma hesitated long enough for Kuroo to think it was too much but Kenma took his hand. Holding Kuroo’s hand is everything he felt it would be and more. His hands were surprisingly soft and of course bigger than his.
Kuroo tried his hardest to hide the blush that had wound its way to his cheeks when Kenma took his hand. He had to remind himself that he used the excuse of not losing Kenma in the crowd of people and that they aren’t just like all the other couples he’d noticed walking around.
He led Kenma down one of the many alleys and stopped in front of a shop with lots of bright colours and lights. It was a game store he was told about by one of his colleagues at work and instantly thought about taking Kenma there. He wanted to do it for their first date but obviously, he hadn’t asked Kenma out.
He looked down at Kenma expectantly and his breath hitched when he saw how the lights reflected against his skin and how the lights made his eyes seem especially bright. “Tetsu how did you find out about this place it's beautiful,” Kenma said looking through the window at all the shelves and things on the walls.
“Beautiful,” He mumbled still looking at Kenma. Kenma turned to look at Kuroo, “What?” The sudden eye contact threw Kuroo out of his trance and he looked dowm, “Uh, yeah so one of my colleagues who is like 70 years old was telling me about his grandkids favourite store and its uh, this one.” Kenma just nodded and looked back through the window, “Well can we go in?”
Kuroo laughed and looked into the store too, “No of course not I just felt like making you look into your version of heaven and then drag your ass back home, seriously Kenma, of course we can.” Kenma gave him a small smile and pulled him into the store.
Stepping into the store was a big relief to Kenma because he was able to get out of the crowded and loud streets. There weren’t a lot of people inside the store maybe about 7 including him and Kuroo. The walls and ceiling were black and they had blue and red lights on either side of the room. There were posters all over the walls showing the new releases and life-size figures of characters were dotted here and there.
Kenma realised he was still holding Kuroo’s hand and let go thinking it wasn’t necessary anymore. Kuroo’s expression was unreadable as he let go. He was smiling but his eyes seemed to convey something different. He walked further into the store running his hands along the shelves, Kuroo watched him for a couple of seconds before following after him slowly. His hand felt empty without Kenma’s hand in it and he yearned to satiate his need for the feeling of Kenma’s skin against his.
They walked around and talked in the store until the owner said he’d be closing in 15 minutes. So Kenma quickened his pace and grabbed things he saw that he wanted to get. Kuroo was following him until he stopped and saw something that he wanted to get for Kenma.
It was a small pendant of one of the cats from Animal Crossing who Kuroo remembers was very similar to Kenma. They were both lazy and both would do activities if told they could get something like food out of it and just his general feel about him was very Kenma-ish. He smiled as he took the pendant off the shelf.
“Are you coming Kuroo?” he heard Kenma call for him. He looked up and Kenma had finished paying and was waiting for him by the door. “Oh yeah, I’m coming just wait for me there.” He replied as he gave the chain to the man at the register so he could pay for it. He declined a packet and slipped the chain into his pocket and thanked the cashier.
He and Kenma left the shop back into the street which had calmed down a bit so there were not as many people. Kenma looked up at Kuroo as they started to walk back to the car, “Hey thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed myself Tetsu.” Kuroo nodded and smiled in response, “I’m glad, and you seemed happier too.”
He then thought of an idea remembering what Bokuto had said to him that morning, “But, we aren’t done yet,” he said as he stopped in his tracks. Kenma stopped midstride and turned to look at him. “What do you mean, what else do you want to do?”
Kuroo then continued walking with a grin on his face. “Wh-what’s up with all these surprises Tetsu.” He grumbled as he followed Kuroo. Once they were back in the car Kuroo put the heater on as the temperature dropped a bit and his sweater was not nearly warm enough. He started to drive leaving the city and Kenma hooked up his phone to the cars speaker system to play some music that he liked.
Kuroo actually preferred listening to whatever Kenma played because he had a wider variety of genres that he listened to so he could go from hardcore rap to the softest and romantic music you could find yourself listening to. His favourite was a song called carry you by Ruelle which Kenma started to play.
He found himself humming along to the words and feels them resonate through the way he was feeling about Kenma at that moment. He stopped at a spot that was halfway up a mountain but had a beautiful view of the city. He stopped the car but kept it on to let the song play through until it ended.
Kenma looked out onto the view with wonder. He wasn’t the kind of person to travel much even if it was just down the road and even then he didn’t take much notice of the scenery around him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Wow, Tetsu. This is…” he let out a huff as he smiled obviously speechless, “why did you bring me out here though?”
Kuroo continued to look out the window with determination. He had to go through with this. He couldn’t just keep himself from finding out what would happen. He was scared but it had to be done. “I have to confess something to you Kenma. I can’t keep it inside anymore it’s not fair to me or you.”
Kenma instantly felt a cold feeling wash over him. He knew what was coming and could feel his eyes start to burn as the tears threatened to flow. He tried to remain calm though. This needed to happen. No matter how much it hurts him it's necessary. He braced himself for the rejection.
Kuroo turned to look at Kenma but couldn’t see what was happening on his face as he was facing away. So he took that leap, “I think I’m in love with you Kenma.” As he said this he saw a tear roll down Kenma’s face.
Kenma whipped his head to the side so he could look at Kuroo, the look of absolute surprise very evident on his face. His jaw dropped open in complete disbelief. “What! is it that surprising?” Kuroo said. Kenma tried to regain his composure, “Tetsu are you sure?” he couldn’t believe what was coming from Kuroo’s mouth. Kuroo raised his eyebrow at him, “What do you mean ‘am I sure’ Kenma I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
Kuroo couldn’t quite read the emotions on Kenma’s face but he knew they weren’t bad. Maybe he had nothing to worry about?
Kenma moved so he could sit facing Kuroo directly, “Jesus Tetsurou I-well I love you too.” He looked as if he was close to tears as his gaze found its way to Kuroo’s. It was Kuroo’s turn to be surprised and he instantly smiled and looked down as if he was embarrassed about it.
Kenma rubbed his eyes to get rid of the tears that had threatened to fall not even minutes before. Kuroo looked back up again, “Is that what’s been bothering you lately?” Kenma laughed as he sniffed. Kuroo was oblivious but he wasn’t a complete idiot. “Yeah actually I wanted to talk to you about it but I was too scared that it would mean losing you and I don’t think I’d be able to handle that.”
Kuroo looked at him with a serious expression on his face. “So are you okay now, since it’s in the open?” Kenma nodded his head with a small smile. Kuroo lifted his hand to push back some hair that had fallen into Kenma’s face and he kept it there as he moved closer, his eyes keeping Kenma’s locked into place “May I kiss you Kenma?” Kenma nodded as he moved closer.
Kuroo cupped Kenma’s face between both his hands and lightly grazed his thumb over his cheekbone. Slowly he brushed his nose against Kenma’s and pressed their lips together as softly as he could to test out the waters to make sure he was completely okay with this. Kenma leaned more forward as he wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and tangled his hands in his hair.
He sighed as Kuroo deepened the kiss, their lips moving in sync with each other. Kuroo bit Kenma’s bottom lip softly earning himself a small moan from him. Needing air, they pulled away from each other but Kuroo kept his forehead pressed against Kenma’s.
“God I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.“ He huffed out with a laugh and continued, “will you go out with me. On a date next time?” Kenma opened his eyes and smiled, “Yes Tetsu.” Kuroo giggled and kissed him again longer this time. After what felt like hours they untangled from each other but still stayed close.
“Oh I meant to ask you Tetsu, what did you get from the store earlier?” Kenma asked with a curious look on his face. Kuroo blanked for a second before remembering, “Oh shit, yeah. Well, remember when you introduced me to Animal Crossing and I told you my favourite villager in your village was that lazy cat named Bob?”
Kenma nodded, “It was actually because he reminded me of you. And when I walked past one of the stands earlier I saw this.” He reached into his pocket and brought out the chain with the pendant on it. “So I wanted to buy it for you.”
Kenma looked down at the chain hanging between them. He looked at Kuroo and smiled, “This may be the cutest thing anyone has ever gotten me Tetsu, thank you.” He took the chain from Kuroo and slipped it over his head holding the pendant of the lazy purple cat in his hand.
Kenma grabbed his phone to play music through it and they sat together listening to love songs that somehow deepened the already ocean depth love they had for each other.
Tagging: @gabbywubby  @shou-kunn @super-noya @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @pudding-head-kenma @thirsthourdemon @thesecretlifeoflilly
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