#sorry for ranting I literally love shrek the musical

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

I’m sorry I try to understand someone else’s opinion but people really prefer the fourth Shrek movie over the third one? Whyyyy?

And guess what- my cat just turned to glare at me cause I was gonna get off the couch- I was thinking I should go to bed. But now we gotta talk about Shrek 3!

This is one I like genuinely don’t understand the problems people have with it (a long incoherent rant for another post- was Indy surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge really any less realistic than when he rode a tank over the edge of a cliff and was completely fine?!?!)

Sorry back to Shrek 3, which slaps so hard because…

The opening song has the line “I got some sleep and I needed it” and the second movie there’s a song in the middle with the line “need some sleep” You know what that is? GROWTH! Evolving! Shrek and Fiona taking care of themselves and being happy lil (or in their case giant ass) beings!

Shrek trying SO HARD to fill in for Fiona’s dad- literally the second movie Shrek couldn’t stand to be there for more than a minute but now he is all in!

Also- When Shrek accidentally pushes the ship away and he THROWS the bottle at the ship.

The frog funeral- has anyone ever had as melancholy and amazing as the frog kings funeral!

The donkey dragon babies- no I don’t know how in fuck that happened either but they are adorable! And Donkey loves his weird ass hybrid babies!

Which is another thing- Donkey and Puss are amazing in this movie! Just on the boat ride alone where Donkey is singing cats in the cradle and Puss starts “the talk” and Shrek is like eff this I’m out and walks to the other end of the boat and Donkey asks “how does it happen?” Because he is a donkey with hybrid donkey dragon babies and he doesn’t know how that happened either!

MERLIN. MERLIN IS THE BEST.

THERE IS A BATTY OLD WIZARD DRESSED WINNIE THE POOH STYLE AND HE IS VOICED BY ERIC IDLE AND HE LITERALLY STARTS PLAYING THE PIANO ALONGSIDE CAPTAIN HOOK.

“LOOK OUT! They got a piano!”

The princesses- I always try to pick out the one Amy Poehler voices.

Cinderella telling the reflection in the puddle to shut up and her reflection replying “no you shut up!”

The immigrant song! Seriously Led Zeppelin doesn’t like letting their music be used and if they are cool with movie then by golly so should the rest of us!

Shrek’s completely deadpan “I just lost it”.

Also the Artie character is just kind of adorable and Charming actually makes a pretty kickass villain for someone with pink leg warmers on.

Shit this was long- but seriously Shrek 3 deserves more love.

I can't believe I spent my entire childhood watching Shrek movies and watched Shrek have one of the best character developments in history just to have all this ruined by the fourth movie. Like how is the Shrek who signed the contract to get rid of his friends and family the same Shrek who wanted to stay human forever for Fiona two movies ago? I know the third movie is more hated than the fourth movie but for me only the first three movies are valid. The fourth movie ruined Shrek as a character for me and I simply like to act like it never happened. I was a child when the movie came out and I was like "wait after fighting for your family for THREE movies you just get tired of them and ditch them?"

But anyways I always watch the first three movies and I love them! Those are classics.

[doakaptan]

Shrek 2 is the hero we needed and here is why

You see I could have just embedded this clip and that would be enough for an answer. Nobody and when I say nobody I mean literally nobody can argue with me about the greatness, the elegance, the excellence of this scene. The song surpasses the original in delivery, and the scenes that are recreated within the castle sequence, is even better than the ones it’s mocking... Overall, it is a theme within the Shrek franchise to do better than the ones you’re mocking, even when the movie itself is not taking anything serious.

On a more serious note, Shrek is a movie that started out as a parody of overused Hollywood tropes, but, through great writing, the franchise found its soul, right here in this film. While the first installment did not have much story to begin with (other than the fact that it was mocking Hollywood and Disney) Shrek 2 is a genuine attempt to have depth in characters and storylines while still mocking everything the fairytales stand for. 

The movie takes of from where it left in the previous installment. Before delving into the story we see Shrek and Fiona’s honeymoon in a montage and all is well within Shrek’s universe. Until, a letter gets delivered to their suite and they learn that Fiona’s family are expecting them to visit the kingdom for a celebration. This moment is a crucial one for me, because finally we are about to get answers to questions we had in the first movie. Like, where is she the princess of, why did her parents leave her at the castle, who are her people and the movie expands on these in a great way. Not only that but the movie also expands on its own universe. The newly introduced concepts are not foreign to us. Like of course an evil Fairy Godmother recruited people through a deal he made with King Harold long long time ago to make sure his son Prince Charming married the princess and became the king. By the way King Harold turns out to be the Frog Prince so the deal he made with Fairy Godmother for his happily after makes sense.

While, Shrek 2 is a great follow-up movie it's also a great standalone story. It is told in such a way that we are unburdened by a need to know what happened in the previous movie. The movie introduces new characters and places with such ease that we don’t question whether something like that belongs in this universe. New characters such as Puss in Boots, Prince Charming, king and queen, and Doris are all fan favorites. The way these characters rose to favor kind of reminds me of the Star Wars Sequel but don’t quote me on that. 

I will use this section to point out insane attention to detail and great scenes apart from the final scene. Specific scenes like the dinner scene, thank you mother; mother!? are some of the greatest scenes that were ever produced. There is also the scene where Shrek, Donkey and Puss get arrested and a bag of ‘catnip’ is retrieved from Puss, the reference went over my head at the time but now, it is even funnier knowing the context. I would also argue that the dinner scene is a masterpiece on its own but sadly I don’t accept objections. The delivery of the characters are great as well. All the actors are on their best game and you can tell by the way they mend so well together. 

Other than that, the details such as Far Far Away being modeled after Los Angeles is such a great idea. It plays more into the fact that Shrek doesn’t belong into the life Fiona previously had. The villain being a commercialized character within the Far Far Away makes a lot of sense as well. The pop culture references are integrated into its world don’t stand out, almost like they were always there. There is a burger king knock off named Friar’s Fat boy and Farbucks. It has been more than a decade (almost two) but the jokes they made about the consumerism culture still stands; like when Mongo (giant gingerbread man) destroys a Farbucks people who escaped from there go to the one across. 

Don’t worry this is the semi-final segment of my rant on Shrek 2. One of the most important parts of Shrek is its soundtrack. The songs are great at setting the tone and enhancing the viewing experience. A fair example of that would be Fairy Godmother’s Holding out for a Hero. It ties into the story better than it did in Footloose and I can fight you on it, try me. In the first movie soundtrack was good too but this… this is above that. Every single song has a meaning and contribution to the overall story and nothing stands out. While the first movie used the music to subvert expectations that this wasn’t your typical Disney movie second one aims for the neck. That is why still to this day you associate All Star by Smash Mouth, Livin La Vida Loca, and Holding out for a Hero with Shrek. It is that good. 

Now, let’s talk about the greatest scene in animated movie history. I referenced it probably too many times but still... Fairy Godmother’s Holding Out For A Hero... Who came up with it, how can one come up with this, we are unworthy of such viewing. Jokes aside the scene is both suspenseful and funny. The rules are set straight and we know this has to have a good ending but there is a what if Shrek can’t make it, in the back of our minds while viewing that makes us scoot to the edge of our seat. The sequence has so many remarkable moments to point out like when Mongo slowly drowns or Puss fights with the knights, even the simple dancing is amplified and I’m not even talking about the vocal performance. This scene outdoes every scene ever existed full stop.

I cannot let go of this movie I’m so sorry but to close this one off I will share my thoughts with you on a more serious note. 

I think everyone falls in love with Shrek at least once, because we can relate to the way he feels and thinks on so many levels. Shrek was told time and time again that he was unworthy of being loved by a society that hated him for simply existing. He believed that until he met Donkey and later Fiona. Shrek 2 comes in when Shrek has learned how to love and be loved and to open up to someone but he is not ready to face society and, society is not ready to face him. Despite being loved by who matters to him the most he’s not the ideal husband for Fiona according to her family, friends and people. So he starts second guessing his worth. It’s when you get something you’ve always wanted but don’t feel deserving of it and it is something we experience everyday until we settle within our minds about who and what we are. Like a great philosopher in the name of Shrek once said: Ogres are like onions, they have layers; Humans are like onions too we have too many layers to be one thing. And That’s exactly why it is easy for us to connect with Shrek.  

[socialismformilfs]

Mutual appreciation post

So a lot of people did one so here I am hoes

@jungkooksbuttons Hafsa there is no word to describe how much you mean to me, for real I could write a novel about how I feel about you but I’m sure you already know that with all the paragraphs I sent you mon cœur lol: did you know you’re the only person in my life that I wrote paragraphs for? That’s how much you mean to me. I don’t know you’re just amazing and you inspire me to try harder because I know that even if times get harder for both of us we got each back’s and i don’t plan on giving up now that i found you my other half: you’re so damn amazing like I can’t put it into words but you’re funny, pretty, thoughtful and I feel so comfortable with you?? It’s like we can do and say everything to each other without judgment and that’s something I never done before with anyone else but you, i also love how we’re both crackheads and we can talk for hours about nothing but still have fun somehow. Seriously you became such an important part of my life, I actually didn’t expect that when I first joined the gc but now I realized that was the best decision I made this year because I got to meet you. I have so much to say but I’m going to stop now because it’s not a Hafsa appreciation post djjdj seriously babe I love everything about you: your qualities and your flaws and nothing will ever change that

@bloomingjiminie I have so much to say about you didi oml i don’t even know where to start, you were the first person that talked to me in the gc and we got along so well?? I was chocked because I usually get hated easily lol but no with you, it was so easy it’s like you have a power to make people feel comfortable talking to you and that’s amazing, you’re amazing. Honestly I was a bit sad when we stopped talking for a while but then we did our gc and BAAM you became one of my closest friends and soulmate. I’m so glad I honestly made this gc because it brought me closer to you and the others. You’re an incredible writer and I have the best ideas with you and joking around with you is so easy because you have a great sense of humor so I’m not scared to say the dumbest things to you because I know you’ll end up saying dumb stuff too. You also know when to stop joking around and being caring to me when I feel upset and that means a lot. I love you chicken to my frog legs even if you clown me but it’s fair because I clown you too lmaoo

@chen-stans-are-the-best KERI you living legend and my partner in crimes, you’re so damn cool like everything about you is wow, you’re so sweet and loving but at the same time we know we can count on you if we’re in trouble to defend us. You laugh and put up with my dumbass like no one else and that means a whole lot because I know that it doesn’t make everyone laugh like it does with you and I tend to be annoying. I know we tease you a lot about you driving for example but you never get mad and that’s nice to know I can joke around without making you upset. Also you’re a genius, the ideas you create and the evil plan we did once was hilarious and wonderful to do with you. You’re a cutie (even if you say you’re not) and I love talking to you my soul sister because I know you’re here to listen if necessary. Even if I’m bad at expressing how I feel, I want you to know that I won’t leave this gc even if I get banned somehow because you guys became my family and you’re dear to me Keri, I love you (I wanted to make it dark purple cause it’s your favorite color but I don’t know if it’s dark enough lol)

@little-bunny-jungkookie Rae the queen of moodboards and my close friend, honestly you’re so friendly and creative and kind to me, I’m honored?? You’re an angel and I’m not joking even if you may disagree and I’m so happy you consider me as your friend. I know I can talk to you about serious situations without hesitation and go to you anytime to ask you for some advices and I’m forever grateful for that. You might have joined recently but it’s like we’ve been friends for a long time and I can talk to you in vc or send you random pics without thinking about it twice because you have such a comforting and peaceful presence for me, I know I can trust you. You may have flaws but know that it doesn’t make you less of a good person because your qualities have more impact on others than your flaws and your feelings are valid no matter what anyone say. You’re a great person and friend to me and I love you very much Rae and sorry I pronounced your name wrong at first djdj

@seokjinownsmyass My bro Mina, you’re so talented with what you write and we have so many moments together like the time we were teasing Simon and Dee about their “platonic” relationship was iconic or the whole thread we did with the « 🌚🌝 ». I love listening to you rant because that’s so cute (Raena is thriving) and it makes me feel closer to you, I’m happy you’re my bro and I know I joke around a lot and tease you but you’re really an important friend to me and I miss you a lot when we don’t talk. I care about you Mina and I’ll fight you if you doubt yourself because I love you so does Rae and others and you and your memes are the best so don’t ever think for a second that we’ll stop loving you bro because that won’t happen, I’m stubborn af after all. I hope you’ll join the vc soon tho I want to hear you voice Mina jkjk you don’t have to if you don’t want to

@killcomet Starlight, you’re so precious I literally can’t, you always tag me in cute things and I just melt because that’s how adorable you are and I appreciate it because it feels like you’re thinking about me even if we’re not talking that much lately so it makes me feel better and your voice is beautiful, I could listen to it for hours. You may say you’re annoying but that’s not the case hon: your flaws, your insecurities, your doubts, everything about you matters to me and don’t ever hesitate to text me because you might believe you’re annoying, personally it makes me happy to know I can be here for you and I’m always here if you want to talk Drew. I may not be physically present but I still will do my best to help you in any way. I love you and talking to you until 5 am was goal (Simon was here but he kept leaving so technically it was just the two of us dhdh)

@lofisapphic Bee omg you’re so fun to talk to you because we do so many icon things together first it started with the Simon protection club then the crush squad and finally the pickup lines war, I can’t I’m actually screaming everytime you send a pickup line to me jdjdjd im still surprised honestly we haven’t been banned but I’m not complaining. Also you’re so pretty like stop sis that’s not fair and you’re great because even if we have different opinions sometimes, we still respect each other and you’re very mature and respectful on a lot of subjects and that’s impressive, i stan. Anyway I love you and your gay panicking ass

@puppieseokie fay sis you’re iconic seriously, l miss you ranting about your girlfriend on the gc and I was kind of sad when you and bee left but it’s understandable. Your mind is a gift from the god seriously: you love hoseok and bts, you ship shrek and Yoongi and you’re a gay legend. I respect you ma’am and if you have cute moments with your gf, don’t hesitate to talk to me about it~

@simonbunnyjunior SIMON my French talking little bro, you’re the kinkiest person I met in a while but that’s goal honestly. You’re kind af and you do your best to help and make everyone feel better. You’re shameless but at the same time you’re still respectful so i live for that. ALSO the nickname you gave me is so fucking cute, I’m screaming. I admire you for not giving up even tho things are hard for you sometimes and I hope you know you can talk to me anytime if you feel like things are getting too difficult for you to handle. Love you

@bangtansoftboys Robin it’s been a while since the last time you were in the gc, I hope you’re okay and I hope you know that we’re joking when we’re teasing you because we’re crackheads anyway love you cute king~

@sundaetae Dee I own you a lot honestly because without you I wouldn’t have joined this gc so thank you so much and you were the first person I directly ever talked to so I think it’s cause of you I was able to not be shy anymore and I’m grateful for that Dee love u sis

@diamondjoonie Andrea hello~ i know we interacted like once but you sound like a great person to hang out with because the only time we talked we did memes and I wasn’t feeling awkward talking to you so if you ever feel like chatting again, don’t hesitate to message me

@busted-aesthetic MEL you’re so cool seriously, I know we just started talking recently but you’re so funny and you have like an aura that says don’t fuck with me cause I’ll hunt you down djjd talking to you until 6 am with mon cœur was hilarious especially when you guys started teaching me how to pronounce things correctly, iconic. Anyway I hope things get better and love you queen

@kingdomzeldaquest LOTTe my murderer and non-existent friend, I love our inside jokes that we had because now we can confuse others for no reason and that’s goal. You’re funny af and talking to you is nice because you’re an intellectual and your taste in music is great. Love you and don’t get arrested lmaoo

@spraklecrackle Thomas heyyyy i remember talking to you once? When we created the « Simon protection club » and you were super nice and you join the club so you’re a legend. We should talk sometimes and I saw you’re French too so hell yes French squad

@alien-the-magician Yasemin you’re so djdjjd literally you join the gc once in a year but everytime you’re here it’s hilarious for example the Dracula is your ancestor thing and when you were drunk lmaooo I love you and your drunk ass

@justramblingaboutthings HEYYY Raquel how are you? It’s been a while since I saw you, I miss screaming about Dia’s talent with you. Take care of yourself and hope you’re okay

[signify-nothing]

Ranking All 67 Movies I Watched in 2019 from The Bad to The Best

The Bad:

Adaptation. Let’s be honest. It’s rare to like any movie you’re assigned to watch. I was starting out from an obvious place of resentment (sorry Professor Taylor). With that being said, I think it’s safe to say this story is objectively awful and so, so, so masturbatory. It’s about a screenwriter struggling to write a script. Need I say more?

Ossos. Ok, so nobody watches a four hour long plotless Portuguese film for fun. But to say this was an exceptionally difficult film to watch would be an understatement. I was more aware of how sore my butt felt in the chair than anything else about the viewing.

The 400 Blows. Apparently it’s great and important? I don’t know. I just don’t really like classic French movies about children.

The Theory of Everything. This movie probably wasn’t that bad but I saw it on a layover on my way to Iceland to see a guy who I was going to break up with in a few weeks, and the movie reminded me of him because they’re both theoretical physicists. Need I say more?

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Didn’t really have the powerful nostalgia factor I was hoping for. Still, it gave us Lana Del Rey covering The Season of the Witch so that’s something.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Low-key decided to break up with my ex over this movie.

(500) Days of Summer. Didn’t age super well. Or well at all.

Shrek. I watched this for a very difficult traditional narrative class. Thus, bad memories are now attached.

Harry Potter. I really think if you haven’t watched this by the time you’re thirteen you should just leave it the fuck alone. Also led to a bit of a falling out with a friend. I’m coming to realize a lot of dramatic interpersonal things happened in my life this year surrounding films…

About Time. I watched this on the way home from Edinburgh which is among the saddest days of my life, so there’s that.

6 Years. I also watched this on the way home from Edinburgh.

Skyfall. Better than I thought it’d be. Nothing like watching this on a luxury bus on your way back from the Scottish highlands.

Fish Tank. Don’t really love this movie but it’s good in a pervy way I guess?

Wine Country. It’s not too bad if you’re totally drunk watching it. Which I may have been.

Truth or Dare. This was honestly pretty bad but I don’t remember hating it as I watched it as much as I did once it was over.

Going the Distance. Mediocre.

Tell it the Bees. Goddamn it I wanted this movie to be so much better than it was. Anna Paquin was just too dry to really fall in love with (God knows I wanted to).

The One I Love. Not super memorable. I may have been drunk though? Or just tired. Tbh I really have no recollection of this movie at all. I watched it while I was pretty depressed.

The Favourite. This was a weird fucking movie.

Calibre. Mediocre. But, at least it was Scottish.

Life of Brian. Didn’t age terribly well, but there’s nothing like watching it on Easter weekend.

La Strada. Not my favorite Fellini but ok.

The Girl on the Broomstick. Campy Czech movie from the 60s? It’s worth it on premise alone.

Midsommar. Definitely did not live up the hype.

The So-so:

Office Space. I related. Perhaps too much.

The Lighthouse. I’d certainly never seen anything like it before.

Circle. Idk, it really should’ve been shittier, but I like the premise of a bunch of people just standing around literally deciding who to kill next. It was bizarre and thought provoking.

The Seventh Seal. Classic, but less subtle than Bergman’s other works.

Wild Rose. Idk. I have conflicted feelings about this movie. I watched it in a theater in Edinburgh with the person I was seeing and remember walking back through the meadows as the Cherry blossoms bloomed. It was so lovely and the music was ok.

Knock Knock. God, I hate so much about this movie. Don’t ask why I kind of liked it.

The Perfection. If there wasn’t a weird sexual abuse plotline this would’ve been in my top ten.

The Wind. It was beautiful but too arcane for its own good.

Hustlers. Pretty girls and great music but it didn’t change my life.

Boy Erased. It was good.

A Taste of Honey. It wasn’t terrible for a random old English movie about an unmarried teenager?

Us. Just felt a little cluttered/messy compared to Get Out. It still made me terrified to live in a city with an underground system beneath it.

The Good:

Concussion. Honestly how could a movie about a stay at home lesbian wife deciding to become a prostitute for women not be amazing?

Lizzie. Not the best, but it’s Chloe and Kristen so of course it’s good.

Zombieland. This was a hell of a lot of fun to watch at the gym on the elliptical. That’s all.

Apostle. Spooky as fuck and very random.

Thelma and Louise. Classic lesbian cinema.

Over the Garden Wall. Nice nostalgic fall miniseries.

Captain Fantastic. I was happy when I watched this.

Carol. Everybody needs a Carol phase. Preferably one they can live-tweet to a good friend.

Nights of Cabiria. It’s a good one.

You Were Never Really Here. The last scene of this is so good. I still think about it.

Together. This film introduced me to my European Cinema class so it makes me nostalgic.

Blue. Can’t really remember this well but I think it was really good?

Cleo from 5 to 7. Always.

The To Do List. Was fun and relevant at the time.

Knocking Down the House. Inspiring.

Before Midnight. Depressing as fuck but I still loved it.

Beast. Johnny Flynn, man. Johnny Flynn.

Colette. Bisexual writer movie? Yes please. Particularly right after I read “How to Suppress Women’s Writing”.

Three Buildings Outside Ebbing Missouri. Really great, but obviously not written by an American.

Unicorn Store. Relevant as fuck. Loved it.

Wild Strawberries. Such good Bergman. I must’ve read three books on it for my final in my film course.

The Double Life of Veronique. Peak snobby foreign cinema and the first movie I watched this year, while I was in Paris.

Always Shine. Creepy and disturbing and feminist and lovely.

Submarine. Cleverer than I thought it would be.

Head Count. Fun horror.

Happy Death Day. More fun horror.

Cold War. Depressing but oh so good.

The Best:

First Reformed. Yikes. I loved it. Despite the unnecessary het romance. Not sure I’d ever recommend it to anyone ever but it just felt right to me somehow.

Before Sunset. Yes. Just, yes.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe. Favorite horror movie I watched this year by a lot.

Before Sunrise. I can’t even get into it without ranting for ten pages but it’s basically excellent so watch it now.