#sorry for rambling so much it’s just midnight and I’m aroish and taiga hirano gives me so many goddamn feelings it’s driving me insane

[literally-ritsu]

Okay but no because listen I need y’all to hear me I have so many thoughts about Taiga Hirano it’s driving me insane:

The thing is that Hirano loves Kagi.

So much. So earnestly. He wants to see Kagi happy and make Kagi happy. He wants to stay by Kagi’s side for as long as he possibly can. Kagi inspires him to do his best and that’s only something that can be called love.

The thing is also that Hirano is not in love with Kagi.

(Yet.)

They do love each other. That’s never in question. But right now Kagi’s love is a lit bonfire (bright; consuming; get too close and you’ll get burned) and Hirano’s love is candlelight that’s barely starting to flicker into existence (soft; steady; needs just a bit more effort to get started) and they are both love but only in the same way the sun and the moon are both light.

At the moment, Hirano isn’t where Kagi is. He has no idea what it means to love someone romantically. He’s getting there, slowly, but Kagi is already so far ahead of him that anything stronger Hirano does start to feel has the potential to come off as a reflection of Kagi’s love instead of his own independent feelings and that comes with its own set of problems.

I don’t know if the manga will actually go there, but I can definitely see Hirano struggling even once he does accept that he has some type of feelings for Kagi. I think he’s going to worry a lot.

Do I like you?

Or do I like that you like me?

(We all know the answer of course, but it’s always easier to say that from an outside point of view)

Am I making any sense?

Tl;dr: Hirano’s journey to discovering “What the fuck is romance” has me in a chokehold and feels like looking in a mirror he is so aro/demi coded that it’s not even funny oh my god.

(Am I just aro-ish myself and hardcore projecting?)

(The world may never know)