#sorry for not talking about the aliens or whatever enough there were too many hot bisexual characters in one place my attention was getting

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Club Fun

A/n: this is a draft that I’ve had for a while and I just kept putting it off posting because I wasn’t sure I liked it but I wanted to put it out and see what other people think 💕 thanks for reading I appreciate it 💕

(This also isn’t proofread at all soooo I’m sorry for any mistakes)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, adult themes and Nat being a pain in the ass

"Come on Y/n how bad could a gentleman's club be?" Nat pushed you through the doors even with you groaning and pushing back against her

"Nat I have a literal alien in my body and I don't know what will set them off" you felt a grumble in your head

"I am not a prepubescent teenager Y/n I am sophisticated"

"Only because you can't survive without me out of my body" you grumbled back and Nat really wished she could understand what you were saying to the alien

You looked up and sighed "okay let's go in"

Nat smiled wide and guided you through the small hallway to the second bouncer "hey we're Nat and Y/n, we have a table booked under Tony Stark?"

The man looked you both over the at the list seeing your names and allowing you past "please keep your hands to yourselves and don't try and get any dancer's numbers because they'll just laugh at you" he laughed and you rolled your eyes turning to Nat

"does he think we're kids? Pretty sure I can control myself around some scantily clad women"

Nat scoffed "talk about yourself Y/n, I see a hot woman staring at me I'll give her money my number, my soul anything the sexy lady wants"

You giggled "you'll get us kicked out the moment we sit down at the booth"

Nat ignored you as she eyed up a waitress walking past who gave her a wink in response "yeah yeah whatever I'm gonna go and get some free drinks" she patted you on the back leaving you alone, well with the alien obviously

"We are being stared at"

You glanced around not noticing anything "what are you talking about?"

They turned your body around suddenly nearly falling over before you managed to steady yourself "dude what the fuck, you can't just turn me around like that!" You whisper shouted at them but they ignored you

"There is a redhead lady who is looking at us and biting her lip, I think she is older than us" you were pointed towards said woman and she gave you a wink

"Oh you're right, do you think she wants us to go over?" Before you could say anything else the woman in question walked over to you "hi pretty girl, do you need some help? You look a little lost"

The sweetness in her voice made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your mouth go dry "oh-er no-no thanks my friend is just getting drinks" you glanced at Nat who was very much not getting your drinks but instead was making out with the waitress she followed after

"It seems you're friend is a little busy right now, I'll take you to your booth" she pulled you towards a booth, her hand gripping your own sweaty mess of a hand.

You were near enough thrown into the booth and the woman followed close near enough sat in your lap "how about I get us some shots? They should loosen your cute tongue"

"...okay" you whispered and the women smiled kissing you on the cheek turning around and singling for a waiter to come over with their tray of shots

"How many miss Scarlet?" The man asked and she told him to put the tray down "thanks Brucie"

He left without another word and she took a glass from the tray pointing it towards you "here you go pretty girl" she tipped the drink towards your mouth and you opened your mouth taking the drink "good?"

You nodded licking the left over liquid from your lips "yeah it's good"

The woman's piercing green eyes were locked onto yours sitting in silence for a few moments before she spoke again "can I interest you in a dance?" She asked sweetly and you shook your head maybe a little too much making her pout

"Awe are you sure? I can relive all of that clear tension coming off of your shoulders, you're too pretty to be stressed"

She stood up bringing you with her and walking off towards Nat who managed to pull her face away from the waitress long enough to talk to you

"Y/n! This place is amazing! This is Maria, she's great" her ragged breath made you laugh "I'm sure she is amazing Nat"

Maria looked behind you to the woman and winked "so Scarlet, is this your new little conquest?"

So her name was Scarlet, or maybe just her stage name, you were certain no one gave their real names out, but this Maria did? She's not a dancer though you guessed?

Scarlet's arms wrapped around your waist getting your attention and she chuckled when you jumped "don't think too hard there pretty girl" she looked to Maria "I offered a dance but she turned me down Mia"

You couldn't see her face but you knew she was pouting about you refusing a dance "Y/n you can't refuse a dance! That's the whole point of the club!"

"I know but-

"No buts Y/n! Go on Scarlet take her to a room and help her relax" Nat demanded ignoring your embarrassed face

"Whatever the costumer wants they get Natalia" Scarlet smirked grabbing your hand leading you through the club away from the safety of people and noise for a quiet private room

"You need to relax honey, I promise you're okay I'll take such good care of you" she purred sitting you down on the couch and you finally looked at her properly seeing the dark red blazer wrapped around her body

"Y/n your body is heating up is everything okay?"

You couldn't answer them instead watching Scarlet unbutton her blazer dropping it to the floor

"Holy shit" you whispered letting your eyes wonder over her lingerie barley covering her body, it was useless being there in all honesty, her breasts were practically spilling out and that's where you met her finger pointing to her face "my eyes are up here princess" she chuckled and your eyes snapped up

"S-sorry!"

She giggled coming towards you and straddling your lap placing a leg on either side "don't say sorry for admiring beauty honey, let's start with your name again"

"Y-y/n" you whispered feeling your hands unintentionally land on her thighs and she gasped "getting bold Y/n? I like it"

"You were moving too slow so I needed to help you Y/n"

You knew they where right, you had a woman, a hot woman you may add on your lap wearing the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and yeah sure it’s part of her job but you could have fun right?

“Get out of your pretty head Y/n” she brought you out of your thoughts and jumped at how you could feel her breath on your face as she whispered in your ear “so Y/n are you going to tell me what you I can do for you?

“This is all new to me so I don’t know what to ask for”

Scarlet looked over you and your slightly trembling body “how about a kiss?" She didn't really wait for answer before kissing you on the lips softly, you remained frozen until you were mentally slapped by your symbiote

"Y/n I do not get aroused or feel sexual tension but even I am suffering through this air of arousal, kiss her back"

You relaxed into the kiss sighing as you kissed her back, feeling Venom slip into your body and elongate your tongue and force her mouth open slipping the long tongue inside and wrapping around her own, Scarlet either didn't realise or didn't care because she moaned into the kiss trying to gain some kind of control

When you both had to pull away for some air Scarlet was shocked seeing the tongue lull out of your mouth "what the hell is that? Looks like your tongue had an erection" when she laughed and didn't run away from you or slap you your heart grew ten sizes, it was nice you guessed if still little strange.

"Can you even talk with that thing?" she giggled and wen to kiss you again but you pulled away letting your tongue return to its normal size

"Everthing okay?" She placed a kiss on your cheek as a reassurance and you smiled

"Have you ever heard of symbiotes?"

She sat back on your lap thinking about it "like that alien that tried to destroy the world? Are you that alien?"

You shook your head "no! No at all, I was just infect-sorry chosen to be a host for one...do you want to meet them?"

Scarlet had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing "well this is nothing like my normal encounters here but sure, let's see the little alien"

Venom didn't need to be told twice and their tendrils appeared forming a their head smiling at Scarlet

"You are a very pretty lady miss Scarlet, I cannot feel aroused or these silly human feelings but you have a hot body and Y/n agrees"

"Venom! Just stop talking" you groaned trying to get away but you were still trapped under Scarlet's thighs

"God this is so weird, it's a good thing you're hot" she lent forward placing a kiss on your neck and then biting you there, you looked at Venom whispering "go back"

They looked at you funny so you said it again "it's a private moment now Venom"

They understood and retreated back into your body quickly and you focused back on the feeling of her soft lips on your neck.

******************************************************************

“My lips are chapped Nat” Maria pulled away from Nat who still tried chasing after her “oh come on, they’re not that bad”

The waitress gently pushed her away “you’re insatiable, I like it, give me a few minutes and I’ll take you somewhere nice”

‘Where?” She questioned

“To the best room we have, it’s got a mini fridge” Maria kissed Nat again softly refusing to let her take over the kiss again “plus we can watch the cameras for your friend”

Nat’s eyes widened “there’s cameras in the room?”

Maria laughed “obviously, how else are we supposed to protect our girls?”

She lead Nat through the club into a closed off area and through a door to a room with a couch, a mini fridge and the cameras she mentioned

“This looks like a pervs hangout” Nat commented but Maria just rolled her eyes pushing the redhead to the couch “just sit there and be quiet, if that’s something you can do”

"I prefer being loud" Nat winked

"I can’t wait to prove that later" Maria took some wine out of the fridge and sat next to the woman giving her a kiss on the cheek “okay let’s get this started" she turned on the Tv changing the channel through the rooms before finding you and Scarlet

"Ugh boring they're just talking" nat looked through the screen, she hoped she could read lips so she knew what you were saying, when she got a closer look she noticed Venom's head at the side of you "what the fuck?!"

Maria put down the wine quickly looking at these screen "what's that?! Is that a puppet? Does your friend have a puppet kink? A little odd but I'm sure Scarlet can work with that" Maria was laughing but Nat only let out a small chuckle too focused on why the hell Venom decided to make themselves known, suddenly Scarlet lent forward kissing and started kissing your neck

"The puppet worked" Maria laughed and Nat managed a small laugh "hah yeah sure" she turned the TV off instead not wanting to focus on you and your weird alien friend, she had no idea why Scarlet didn't mind it though

"Well they're boring now"

******************************************************************

Scarlet's lips moved up to your ear "you're not the only one with a secret princess"

Your smile dropped and you pulled away suddenly but Scarlet just laughed "it's okay honey nothing horrible, do you know what a coven is?"

You flexed your hands on her thighs and swallowed nervously "like witches?"

She smiled "yes"

"Are you a witch?"

She simply nodded and flashed her red eyes making you gasp "shit that's so cool!" You were memorised, maybe a little scared since witches were seen as strange or evil but a dancer at a gentleman's club couldn't be evil...right?

"I'm not evil honey, just someone who gets bored easily and needs something to do"

Did she read your mind?? You looked at her surprised and she giggled "yes princess I can read minds and yours has been a delight to listen too"

That's so weird but cool as well, so what so we do now?"

"Well, my real name is Wanda to start with, I use Scarlet because the guys like it, and for security of course"

You were really trying to listen honestly you were but your eyes kept flickering down to her chest

"You're not listening to a thing I'm saying are you?" Wanda laughed using her finger to lift up your chin "it's okay, I know what you really want" she lent forward to kiss you but a bell went off stopping her in her tracks "oooh sorry princess times up"

She tried pulling away but your fingers dug into her thighs keeping her there "but you were going to kiss me again?”

She raised her eyebrow and smiled at you "I know, I love leaving my clients on edge, it guarantees they come back"

This time Venom growled and appeared again "that seems a little unfair Wanda, we showed you me, I think we deserve a treat"

She just shrugged managing to pull away from you standing up and covering herself with her robe "are you saying you don't want to see me again?"

Both you and Venom were confused

"Because if I slept with you that's what would happen, and I'm quite enjoying your company"

"She is teasing us Y/n"

You agreed "she is"

Wanda watched you as you were thinking, and you knew she was reading your mind "you have some hot thoughts in there Y/n, a stark difference from when we first started, now come on, your friend will be waiting for you"

You sighed reluctantly getting up and going past Wanda when she gave you a small smack on your ass "hey!"

She laughed "I couldn't help myself honey"

****************************************************************

"Nice to finally see you two out of the room, did you give her the full dance Scarlet?" Maria laughed glancing between the two of you and the redhead smiled wrapping her fingers around your waist "she had a wonderful time Maria, she'll be coming back tomorrow night"

Nat gasped and you looked at her "you're coming back?! Wow Y/n, she must've given you the full treatment eh?"

When your face blushed Wanda kissed your cheek "you're so cute malen'kiy you can have my number, so call me when you're here tomorrow and I'll come and get you"

You nodded and went to kiss Wanda but you weren't too sure until Wanda pulled you in close kissing you hard

"Oooooohhhh!" Nat exclaimed excitedly "Maria did you see that?! My little virgin is getting somewhere!"

You instantly pulled back going bright red "Nat! I'm not a virgin! I've slept with loads of women"

Both women laughed and Wanda tried hiding her own smirk "it's okay princess, I'm an excellent teacher"

You groaned pulling away from the woman "come on Nat before I sink into the ground from embarrassment"

Nat giggled and kissed Maria one more time "so it look's like I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll have the usual room ready" she winked in response kissing the redhead again

"Do I get a good-bye kiss?" Wanda pouted and you rolled your eyes walking back to her "I never expected this coming into a strip club" holding the woman's face in your hands you kissed Wanda softly before pulling away then kissing her nose

"Hmm you're my favourite client malen'kiy"

"I have no idea what that Russian word means but I hope it's good"

Wanda giggled kissing the side of your head "Ty takaya ocharovatel'naya printsessa, dumayu, ya ostavlyu tebya ty moya"

You heard Nat soft gasp from the side of you and you whipped your head around to her "did she say something shocking?"

Wanda looked to Nat shaking her head and Nat nodded "just some sickly sweet thing about you, typical for you to come into a gentleman's cub for a dance from a stripper to come out with a potential partner"

You shrugged "hey I can't help it if I have incredible game"

The group burst out laughing even Wanda joined in making you pout

"Y/n I love you I really do but you're really terrible with women, I'm surprised Wanda actually made out with you"

You blushed hard leaner closer into Wanda "yeah well fuck you Nat" okay it wasn't the best comeback but its the only one you could think of

"It's okay Y/n I thought that was a very good comeback" Wanda kissed your cheek "okay honey, I've got to go back to work"

You started to talk back but a finger shushed your lips "I still need money my love but I want you back here tomorrow okay?"

You nodded "I'm definitely coming back all the time Wanda, I'll sit in the corner with a snack"

Wanda held in a giggle rubbing your shoulder "oh honey I don't think my clients would enjoy that"

"Then they'd to keep their hands off of you" you retorted and Wanda laughed "my little possessive girl don't worry, you'll get the special private dances"

It was your turn to blush hard again and you had to keep yourself steady "o-oh okay cool yeah! Great"

Nat laughed “you’re a mess, come on idiot let’s go”

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

Tw bugs, specifically maggots

Folks of all stripes, may I present to you,

Fly Eggs

Or

Arcee's adventure in roadkill and self care

It starts when she runs over some roadkill on a blind corner, common on the open road, especially in the Adirondack mountains of Vermont.

Unfortunately, it was something big, probably a moose or deer, so she couldn't quite avoid it. She shuddered as ... it ... squished under her tires. It seemed to explode under the force of her tires. Whatever it was, it was big and covered the road. She can feel just the barest kind of resistance from bones, but those bend and break under her weight, too.

It was the hottest part of the summer, and by the time highway patrol got their sanitation trucks out to clean up roadkill, it was often rotting along as if it had been left for weeks.

Jack patted the handlebars soothingly. "Yeah, sorry about that, Arcee. That can't feel good under your tires."

"No, Jack, no, it doesn't. Now you can see why we don't eat other creatures?"

"Yeah, but that was already rotting. But a nice, juicy steak, from a good farm and greenhouse raised veggies. Mmhh. Yum. Thanks for buying me lunch earlier. "

"Well, I guess humans are omnivores."

"Exactly"

They left the road and onto a dirt parking lot for a local trail, the gore still trailing off Arcee's tires. It had splattered all over her, likely some sort of deer or moose, maybe even an illegally dumped exotic pet. Jack swore he heard it pop under Arcee's tires, the splatter even soaking onto his own jeans.

The parking lot was empty, so Arcee called a ground bridge, and they both went inside.

Jack went into Fowler's office to grab a duffle bag of spare clothes to change. The human sized showers still work, and the water heater was better than the one Jack had in his own house. Had to be, in order to have enough hot water to bathe five alien robots that nine times out of ten came back covered in muck and vehicon guts.

Arcee flung splattered gore everywhere as she transformed to Ratchet's displeasure. She didn't even wait for his lecture, yelling that she would clean it up as soon as she got rid of the rest of it.

She scrubbed at every speck she could find, making a mental note to have Jack wash her later. She didn't like having his hands in and on her outside of the seat and handlebars, but there were times where she was having a really bad day and they had to intercept a patrol and no matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn't quite feel clean.

Then Jack would hook up the hose and get the good, expensive specialty cleaning stuff. June bought her, and they would talk, and she would try not to think about how this whole thing shouldn't happen.

She was a grown woman that had to be talked to like a sparkling, by a sparkling, in order to get the gore that she wanted off her body off her. Why are basic care tasks so hard when you have lost too much. Why do little hands both hurt her, remind her of spider-hissing-

too-many-legs-can't-vent-TAILGATE! Arcee collapsed onto her knees, turning the comfortable, warm shower into a cold freeze, too cold, like-ice-in-every-seam-like-tiny-fingers.

Arcee could feel her blades pop out of her arms, and she turned off the water before the delicate components could get rusted and ruined.

She dried them carefully before closing them and finally stepping out of the shower, ignoring the feeling of being watched trailing down her back. She could feel an itch under her plates, but wrote it off as feeling a little jumpy from the panic episode. She went to bed for the night, content to forget about the whole thing.

She did, and so did Ratchet. For several weeks, Arcee avoided the wash racks like she usually did whenever her mental health took a nosedive.

That day, she walked down the hallway to that little training area that Bumblebee had made her as normal. It was nice and quiet, away from everyone, yet she could hear for anyone who needed her.

She started to run through all the basic moves, still feeling that weird itch. She moved on to practicing her kicks and jumps. She was just about to free the dummies' head from its body for the fifth time when she felt something leak from her hips. She looked down to see a reddish brown mush leaking along with a few specks of white. When she could feel the specks move, her head swam, and her eyes cut out.

"Arcee? Arcee!"

"Jack, get back and let me work."

"Ratchet, those are fly eggs."

"There you go Arcee, follow the light."

Arcee woke up on Ratchet's exam table, his flashlight in her eyes.

"I have good news and bad news." Ratchet said, giving Arcee a container of the fly eggs and maggots that he had taken from her hip. "Good news is, it's completely treatable. The bad news is that I don't have the equipment to treat it noninvasively with my own two hands. This can only really be done by human hands. Luckily, I am sure June and Jack can provide good care. You will have to consent to me giving them your scans, but they should be able to do it by sight, too. I can sedate and alt mode lock you, too, if being conscious of it is too much. Either way, I will supervise completely and start to finish."

Arcee started to panic. She knew now that transforming was the worst thing she could have done. Now they were closer inside her. Now they were too deep for Ratchet to get in robot mode, at least not all in one shot. Her arm blades popped out on reflex, and her head started to spin.

Ratchet grabbed a cable from the bed she was sitting on and inserted it into her wrist. The mild mood enhancer, that they didn't have enough of to start her on regularly, did its job fast. Her mind started to clear, the dose perfected on trial and error, keeping her awake but out of the spiral she was in.

Jack saw Ratchet use it on her sometimes, especially after getting a good supply of it off the Harbinger.

After a few more minutes of it, Ratchet cut the feed and swapped it with a sedative. He got all the eggs and maggots and decay he could find, knowing that there was more deeper in her.

Arcee woke up in her own bed.

She remembered what he said, the panic from a few hours ago mostly gone.

Now that she could think, it made sense. The spin of her tires covered themselves with fluids and gore that she could have easily cleaned off when she got back to base again, but she was a lot less likely to think of all the eggs and gore kicked up into her underside.

Eggs. She had bug eggs in her body, almost microscopic to her.

She felt her arm blades slide out yet again and forced them back into her.

"Yes, give Jack the scans. I want them gone."

Ratchet nodded. "OK then. Do you want them to do it here, at the house, or at a car wash in town?"

"Here. Just be fast." Arcee was starting to panic again, calmed by Jack patting her foot.

Under Ratchet's careful instructions, she transformed and rolled into the wash rack. Ratchet turned on the shower in the next stall for some privacy. He refused to tell anyone, including Optimus, what they were doing in the shower, just that it was medically necessary and not to bring it up again.

June was called, and she brought changes of clothes, disposable masks, gloves (both of the gardening varieties and a box of sterile ones to put on top of them), various toothbrushes of varying softness from their bathroom closet, rags, old towels, and some cheap car soap, all in an old trash can stuffed into a washbasin.

"So, Arcee, I heard you got the closest thing to lice a bot can get?" June said, setting down the trash can.

Arcee was confused. "What's lice?"

"A mostly harmless bug that young kids can get when they trade hats or share brushes. They lay eggs in a kid's hair, and that's usually the first sign they are there. Treatment? A bath, of course. Jack used to get them all the time when he was in elementary school. It's nothing too worrying, and by what Ratchet said, we will be doing the same here today. Everything here will either be thrown out or sanitized, so don't worry about what we are doing. Just relax, and let us help you." June explained, throwing an old beach towel over her seat and taking a few toothbrushes out of their packages and setting them on top of it.

Ratchet picked up the bottle of soap and searched up the brand name. "This soap should work. Why didn't you just bring the stuff you usually use?"

"Because then she would fight us even more the next time she came home smelling like vehicon corpses." Jack said. "Her lack of self care is worse than June in the weeks after dad left us."

"Wait, Jack's father left you?" Arcee asked.

"Yes, unfortunately. Messy divorces would do that to you. Having a ten year old who came home with lice twice a month didn't really help."

"Hey! It's not like I could have helped it!" Jack fake pouted, pulling on both pairs of gloves and a mask.

Ratchet used a tool shaped like a thin crowbar to remove and loosen Arcee's outer plating around her headlights and windshield, revealing the soft protoform underneath.

Ratchet handled the disconnected plates to June to scrub in the washbasin.

It was then both Jack and Ratchet realized how deep Arcee's struggles with self care really went.

The protoform was filthy, with rotting leaves, bits of vehicon viscera, dots of dried energon, and, of course, small clusters of dead fly eggs from the decayed deer. They had started near her head and neck, taking it all in sections, with plans to take breaks between each section.

There were healed cracks in her protoform everywhere, a few of which had burned fly eggs stuck in them. Ratchet took an interest in those, sitting on the floor and taking out a pair of magnifying lenses out of his subspace. He stuck them onto his face, taking a rag and dousing it with soap and water. He wiped away most of the grime, taking out some tweezers and removing the debris from the cracks.

"Jack, it looks like all of these are well healed, but don't touch the protoform without gloves. All the energon I can see is inert and harmless, but be careful. That goes for you, too, Jane." He said, stowing the soiled tweezers and getting up, his joints creaking.

Jack and June got to work, cleaning out the fly eggs. They took out any bits of vehicon gore with tongs or had Ratchet step in. Multiple times, Optimus had knocked on the door with questions of Arcee's wellbeing, always being chased away by Ratchet before Arcee heard. She wasn't quite enjoying her bath, but wasn't hating it either. She melted when June used a soft toothbrush just on the inside of her plating, and having Jack scrape off the dried energon wasn't the best feeling in the world.

Eventually, her clean front passed Ratchet's inspection, and for a few minutes, she was slightly less exposed to the world.

Unfortunately, she would not stay covered up for long.

Under Ratchet's guidance, Jack moved the panels that made up Arcee's hips. He opened them to reveal���

… So many maggots everywhere, squirming and wriggling for food that can't be found, like a single wriggling mass.

Thousands of little eggs and larva all throughout her, starving yet incubated in the perfect temperature controlled insides.

Arcee revved her engine nervously, her plating shaking. Ratchet bent down and took something out of his subspace. He clamped it onto Arcee's front wheel. Arcee attempted to roll forward, out of Jack's reach. The clamp caused her to stall, unable to move. June gave her a pat on her seat and took Jack's spot.

"Arcee, I will handle this part. Jack, could you crouch down and check her underside?" June said, handing him a clean toothbrush and throwing the bundled up contents of the now dirty beach towel into the emptied washbasin.

Jack cleaned out all the cracks and crevices while June scooped out maggots and eggs by the handful.

"Ugh, this must be awful for you, Arcee, having us rooting around in your systems for maggots. I think we will be finishing up soon. Jack, how's it going?"

"Buggy, but better than I was expecting. Not much left. Pass me the hose?"

Arcee braced herself for the hose, still not ready for the stream of warm water against her internals. She squeaked as she felt a few stray maggots drown and fall out.

"Arcee, everything looks fine on my end. Mom?"

"Mine too. Just got two more - got it." June said, peeling off her gloves and throwing them in the washbasin. "Ratchet, this is your show now."

Ratchet had Arcee transform and check her over for any stray maggots. Not finding any, he helped her out of the showers and into her own room to get some rest.

Ratchet threatened bloody murder if Miko disturbed Arcee in any way. She wisely made her guitar disappear.

The phantom feeling of the bugs' movement lasts for weeks after Arcee's cleaning. She just can't get the feeling of maggots under her skin to leave her.

The next time she dreams of Tailgate, he has maggots spilling out of his wounds.

[sevenstevearmy]

I wanted to add some more info to some of these bc idk if anyone did, I saw some stuff in the notes but there are a lot of notes. (For reference, I worked in childcare with ages 6 weeks to five years, part of which was in the kitchen so I know a lot about feeding and also that the USDA food program is bullshit, and am an uncle to four and also the person all of my siblings go to for advice with their kids.)

You have to be a bit careful when you say 'baby' bc it's not a developmental stage, more of a vibe, so pretty much when your kid starts eating food other than milk/formula (especially if that food is dry), they can have a little water when it's hot, talk to their doctor first if you can.

The reason kids can't have honey until 1 is bc of the allergen possibilities and their immune systems aren't developed enough yet. This includes anything with honey in it, including a lot of graham crackers. This is just to be safe, but wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?

The dust thing is bc most of dust is skin cells. This wasn't really an important clarification, but it makes a ton of sense when you remember this.

For tummy time, your kid may hate it and scream and cry. This is fine, they'll get over it, tummy time is essential.

The reason a kid's head might be misshapen at first is bc it has to be squished to get out of their parent. All newborns look like little aliens, it's ok.

Postpartum depression is super common! You're not alone, there are so many resources and people for you out there. Your doctor might even have a starting point for you if you can see one.

There are lots of reasons people don't produce enough milk. I would def recommend reading up on the subject even if you do produce enough. Just make sure to keep up with recalls. There are also lots of types of formula, some will work for your child, some won't. You can always ask a doctor if you're having problems, and if you can't see a doctor for this, see if your parents or other parents you know might have ideas, unless you are seriously concerned for your baby's health, in which case doctor absolutely.

Kids don't really need to wear shoes until they're actually walking. Soft form 'booties' are ok when it's cold, and what I mean by that is they're like socks but they might be waterproof and make sure they are not too small. Big is better.

Another thing about them putting everything in their mouths: This is normal like op said. They may even try to eat some of these things if they can. This is also relatively normal. That being said, if you have concerns about them consuming things that are bad for them and they are old enough to understand (this is younger than you may think, if they can understand 'no' they can understand 'yucky'), please talk to their doctor. I knew a little girl who ate used diapers (not only hers) well after two years old. This is not safe.

It is so super important that you let them learn how to do things instead of helping every step of the way. You should only really intervene if you're concerned for health or safety reasons. If they've worked themselves into such a fit that they can't calm down even with urging, take them away from what they were trying to calm them down, but don't help. The reason kids learn to crawl is bc they want to get to a place or item, and if you put them there yourself everytime, they won't learn, and crawling is actually an incredibly essential milestone. Kids who don't learn to crawl or don't learn quick enough (you do have a lot of time, so don't freak out) tend to have certain disorders down the line. Whatever connections crawling creates and strengthens in the brain are some of the most important.

People don't seem to realize that babies can understand things far before they can speak themselves. The way kids learn connotations and micro expressions is through you talking to them, and reading helps them experience other words and situations so that they can learn. A child will not learn to speak if they are never spoken to, and it starts early. Have you ever looked into the boy raised by wolves? He couldn't conceptualize what a category was. One book was a book, but another couldn't be bc the other thing was a book. Children need to be exposed to language. Reading stories helps them learn creativity, morals, sentence structure, etc. Kids who have been read to tend to excel further in all subjects compared to kids who weren't. Also just talk normally to them as well. It's ok to coo at them on occasion as long as you also talk to them normally. Explain what you're doing or what they're seeing.

Even if it's not specifically a lullaby (say you don't know any), any song you sing softly and somewhat slowly will work. If you only know songs by the Offspring, just calm down the song. I legit know one lullaby and then I use Two Birds and Must Have Been the Wind and whatever else I can think of on the spot. Just tone it down. Also your baby does not care if you can sing well and if your hatred for your voice outweighs your need to comfort your child, maybe you should think about that.

Kids need stimulation! Beige is not stimulating! Beige is not firing any neurons! Colors make your child's brain strong.

Seriously congratulate your kid for basically everything good they do, especially if it was something they didn't like. For example, a lot of kids don't like getting their diapers changed. Get them through it and then verbally congratulate them for getting through it. This teaches them to congratulate themselves for things later. My nephew now says 'Yay! Good job [name]!' whenever he does stuff. It's adorable and good for him.

As for male baby erections, If you've never had a baby boy you might not know that they will continue to get random erections before they hit puberty. Please continue to not be weird about the literal child, thanks.

When weening your child, absolutely do research, but I'll let you know you can start with applesauce and the like, try not to give them too much added sugar. Natural is fine. Some kids start on true solids way earlier than others, it's ok if it takes a while. It's usually non-firstborns who are quicker to do things. And btw the second kid is easier bc you already learned all this new stuff for your first, but each kid is different and you'll definitely have to continue learning for each child you have. But back to food, once they get on true solids, you just have to cut stuff up real small of them until they understand how to properly bite and chew. Remember they've never done it before so they have to learn. And yeah minced hotdog sounds weird but if that's what you have, you have to make sure they don't choke.

Making a new paragraph, but still on the food thing, kids are more likely to eat what they see you eating. So even if you hate broccoli, make sure to give a realistic performance when you choke it down and say it's yummy. One reason a kid might not be eating fruits and veggies besides them not seeing it happen is the natural variance from piece to piece. Some blueberries are sweet, some are sour, and you can't always tell by looking at them. Vegetable are a little easier, but in these cases, try cooking your fruits and veggies, it makes them sweeter. Or offer a sauce or condiment of some sort, kids love to dip.

For diaper bags, a good one doesn't necessarily mean 'designed and marketed for this purchase and is over a hundred dollars'. A good quality backpack or a still in good condition second hand will do. Just make sure there's lots of space in there, and I'd personally recommend water resistant/proof.

Related to their grip, I would not recommend wearing earrings, especially dangly ones around a baby. Also no necklaces. And they'll probably accidentally pull your shirt down so I would recommend crew necks if you're going out and don't want that happening.

Kids shoulders get dislocated so easily that anyone working with small children is immediately thrust a workshop hour based one all the ways you should not handle a child to avoid this. If you have to move your child, go for the waist, and if you're holding hands also have a hand on the waist or be very careful. Shoulders are really difficult to fix and very painful.

So onto stuff not in the original post:

If there is nothing medically (including on the mental health side, this is still medical) wrong with your kid, they will eat when they are hungry and you should let them eat until they are full. Yes even if you think your kid is fat. Children burn a lot more calories that you don't see bc they are growing and learning. I'd also be hesitant to letting a doctor tell you that your kid is fat and then not following that up with any reason, unfortunately fatphobia is really big in medical spaces. If your kid is happy and able to move freely, they're fine, it's probably genetics. If they actually do give you a reason besides over feeding then it's more safe to listen to them, bc if your kid is hungry or gaining weight and it's for some reason not normal, they should be looking into why that is. Make them do the work.

Don't send your kid to daycare sick. They will get all of the other kids sick, guaranteed bc kids are gross (this is developmentally appropriate, unfortunately). And then their families are exposed. And so are the teachers and their families. I get there's not always a lot of options but you could very much kill someone or get the whole place shut down while staff recovers.

It's ok actually to let your kid have some sugar. Don't go overboard, their bodies are much smaller than yours, but they can have some. Families who forbid all sugar (sometimes including natural, like what?), are going to have a reckoning when that kid first gets exposed to sugar by someone else. Moderation is a thing, or doesn't have to be, nor should it be, all or nothing. Also the reason why natural sugar doesn't count in fruits and such is the fiber. The fiber slows down how quickly the sugar is processed. And for people like my parents, yes fiber is also a carb and carbs are the body's preferred method of getting energy, you do in fact need them to survive.

Once your kid starts babbling like they have the words in their head but not the experience to say them, this is when you should stop saying anything you don't want them to say (for example if you swear like a sailor, maybe cut back at this point unless you want phone calls from their future school).

I think most of my other advice is for kids a little bit older so I'll leave this here. I am personally open to questions and clarifications if you want to shoot me an ask or message, unlike your kid I won't bite, I promise.

seeing a lot of videos that are like “I didn’t know babies couldn’t have water” so here’s an incomplete list of things you need to know before having a baby

- the obvious, they can’t have water bc milk is incredibly high in water already so excess water leads to over hydration

- babies cannot have honey until 1

- if ur breastfeeding your kid and saving excess milk, make sure you label what you pumped in the morning vs at night bc your body produces different melatonin levels throughout the day and giving your baby daytime milk at night can make them more alert and fuck up their sleep schedule

- idk why ppl keep saying this but swaddling your babies or getting them those baby straight jacket things is not abuse. It chills them out cuz it reminds them of the womb

- babies have a dandruff like buildup on their head called cradle cap, and it’s very easy to deal with and remove with just some baby shampoo, a gentle scrub brush (MADE FOR BABIES!!) and a comb. It does need to be removed tho cuz it can be very painful after a while. This can also continue to happen late into toddlerhood it’s normal

- you have to clean out the creases of your baby’s skin and hands and feet they WILL collect dust😭😭

- you cannot bathe your baby until their umbilical cord naturally falls off. Use a warm damp rag until then

- tummy time is actually very important

- your baby might have a misshapen head at first (not all the time but sometimes) this will either sort itself out or they’ll need a corrective helmet ask your doctor

- I wouldn’t recommend having your baby leave the house very much until they’re at least 6 months old, especially if they’re born near cold and flu season cuz the common cold can kill a newborn

- you’re not an awful horrible person for having postpartum depression and it’s always a million times better to let your baby cry a few minutes longer than normal while you regain your composure than to freak out and give ur kid shaken baby syndrome

- you’re not an awful horrible person for giving your baby formula milk either

- don’t put shoes on your baby it’ll compromise their toe box and balance

- babies put every single thing in their mouths

- the easiest way to burp a baby is to hold them straight up (spine straight) and hold their head a bit higher

- always support their head they barely have necks

- if your baby fights away food, fights tummy time, vomits every single time you burp them, is gaining or losing an unreasonable amount of weight at a time, wheezes after eating, or goes red after eating, chances are they’re probably allergic to the type of milk they’re eating (again ask a doctor but these are just some signs it’s not just colic)

- they will wobble a lot when learning to do things but you gotta fight the urge to help them every single time cuz they gotta learn

- they’re not always spitting out baby food cuz they don’t like it they just don’t know how to eat. Like they don’t know how to push food down they only know how to stick their tongue out so be patient

- babies craniums are broken up into three parts at first that later fuse together, this is to help make birthing easier but it results in a small EXTREMELY sensitive spot in the top of their head that has no protection. This puts their brain at a high risk. Always protect their soft spot

- read to your baby!! Get cute bright colorful sensory books with sight words and read them to your baby it makes such a huge difference in their educational growth and will help them acquire a love for reading early on. And talk to them never shut up just say whatever comes to mind all the time this will strengthen their vocabulary growth also.

- babies poop like a lot. A lot. an unreasonable amount. Bring back up clothes and more diapers than you think

- no pillows or stuffies in the crib and only use a muslin blanket unless it’s especially cold to prevent suffocation

- babies kick reflexively until they’re out of their newborn scrunch (they stay womb shaped for a while) and if your baby is crying and pushing at the swaddle try letting them flail around for a minute

- consoling your baby is not spoiling them ! They need comfort and they will learn to self soothe on their own

- singing lullabies actually works, they can recognize your voice a consistent place of comfort from the womb and the cadence of lullabies is literally engineered to create a calm headspace

- for the love of god do not get boring ass beige toys. Colors are important for their neurological development

- babies are very responsive to praise from a young age so be as supportive of them as you can

- babies get constipated a lot and you have to do like tummy massages to help ease their pain the easiest way is to lay them on their backs and hold one foot in each hand, kick their feet like bicycles, scrunch up, and then stretch their legs out

- holding them on your hip too much will not cause bow legged-ness if your baby is bow legged that was always gonna happen

- they drool so so much and you have to get bibs for them so they don’t get chest eczema

- don’t use scented products on their skin cuz their skin is sooo much thinner than ours

- when your baby first starts sitting on their own never walk away from them without setting up a nest of pillows and blankets around them. Even minor head trauma can mess them up sometimes

- this one is kinda morbid and scary but sometimes babies just die out of nowhere and it’s no one’s fault or anything it’s called sudden infantile death syndrome(SIDS) and it’s about 1.3k deaths on average per year in America so not super common but still very real. 90% of these deaths happen during the first four months however edit: apparently it’s bc of an enzyme deficiency which at the very least you can take steps to try and prevent

- smoking and drinking during pregnancy WILL affect your baby and your breast milk and also might contribute to SIDS cases

- babies sometimes have a big red mark on them somewhere called a stork bite immediately after birth but typically it goes away

- babies can’t see very well for a while after birth and they’re VERY wobbly so they’ll typically bonk their head into your chest and face a lot while trying to support themselves

- female babies might have smth similar to a period the first few days after birth, this is because of the hormone transfer that happens during the birthing process and the days leading up to it

- male babies get random erections for the first few days after birth(hormone transfer again) literally do not be weird about this it’s a baby

- things like weaning your baby onto solid foods, potty training, weaning off pacifiers etc, can actually be directed by the baby and will happen naturally will minimal guidance from the parent(some guidance is still necessary) although I would do individual research into baby led weaning for food to prevent choking

- get those chewy feeding pouches to help with weaning

- the most random things will scare the hell out of your baby don’t take it personal 😭

- baby carriers are life savers (tulas are one of my favorites)

- once babies hit toddlerhood they’re tougher than you think, and a lot of their reaction is based on YOURS. they’re always going to be looking to you for how to react to a situation. Remain calm and if they’re ok they’ll calm down but if they’re genuinely hurt they’ll keep crying

- babies will most likely get ridiculously attached to an inanimate object and you have to keep this thing intact at all costs until they’re old enough to abandon it or they will throw a FIT. I got a lemur plushie from a zoo once and every single one of the kids has bonded their soul with it until about 6 years old and once a month I have to stitch him back up

- don’t compare yourself to other parents. Maybe your kid isnt getting grass fed wild caught north Atlantic cheerios but at least they’re fed. If your kid is alive and healthy and happy you’re doing a good job

- you will need 3 car seats, an infant seat, a grow with me toddler seat, and a booster seat

- getting a good diaper bag is a MUST

- the hair a baby is born with will most likely all fall out or they’ll get a bald spot on the back of their head where they sleep cuz their hair is so fragile and thin but once it grows back it grows back thick

- get like 20 muslin blankets so you always have a backup when the main ones are covered in spit up

- the babies grip IS stronger than yours (keep your hair up and keep pets away best you can)

- your best bet for your teething baby is a pacifier you can put your finger in so you can massage their gums and some chewing toys numbing cream can be dangerous and should be used sparingly

- go ahead and come to terms with the fact you’re gonna have to use a Frida Baby to manually remove snot

- babies can get hair and thread wrapped around their toes and fingers that can cut off their circulation try to make a habit of checking

- don’t hit your kid please it’s nothing but trauma and fucked up coping mechanisms from there pls empathize with your child they’re a person too

- be careful not to pull too hard on their arms and legs(like during play or holding their hand while they walk) and NEVER pick them up by their hands this will very easily cause dislocation

- they might have a little tooth like callous on their lip from their pacifier. This does not hurt them and it will go away but it may hurt during breastfeeding

- breastfeeding will make your boobs different sizes

Yeag that’s all I can think of rn but yk i Will add as I remember stuff ppl are also adding things I forgot in the tags in case you’d like to look thru that as well <3

[leefi]

ORV 17

jeopardy

the nbc constellation beaming the ghost of alex trebek (pbuh) down:

"WHAT IS THE LONDON 2012 OLYMPICS????"

"That is in-correct!" *blasts you with my death ray*

you are so mean to yjh and you dont appreciate him and you

h

WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

did they say tight black battle suit earlier. I'm still processing that is she wearing a tight black catsuit. Is ysa currently Ina. Tight black catsuit are the webtoon artists going to draw her in a *books flight to studio* is yoo sangah in a *knocks loudly on door" we need to talk please eorpn the floor

ladies 😙. am I detecting ☺️☺️🥰🤭🤭🤭 some animosity 🙈🤭🏳️‍🌈❓❓ maybe some ✂️🏳️‍🌈✂️🏳️‍🌈✂️🏳️‍🌈✂️🏳️‍🌈✂️ contempt 🥰🥰🥰 for one another? 😚😚😚 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻 please continue, i am not one to get in the way of successful women ❤️

im just staring at this succession of words and my brain is writing the fic in real time as they speak

The men are speaking out of turn again so let's clarify something. YJH as my future husband I need you to listen to me carefully:

If you are ever in a position where you have to kill me for the sake of the greater good you are going down with me. that timeline is resetting in 10 minutes max, 9 is already late. I do not care if you've done a full pacifist run so far. I do not care if you have the knife to God's throat and you're about to end it all. if i die we die. get in the casket.

a few things to touch on now even though catsuit ysa is currently burned into my brain and actively disrupting at least half of my neural processes:

YSA's skills include a golden thread (??), quick movements (???) and dagger mastery (hot). YJH warns KDJ of her power, and HSY notes that her growth is impossible even with a package and she has tremendous strength for somebody with barely any items. KDJ says the same and notes that the stigmas she's used originate from two different constellations, both of Grecian origin, but is interrupted before he reaches anything conclusive. She's been intentionally hiding her sponsor and attribute from him as well. Does she have the whole pantheon behind her? Is the entire Greek pantheon just one constellation? That's OP as hell. (but not as OP as constellation NBC Jeopardy).

5 champions elected from each species to be guides from ruined planet/universe/dimension/whatever Chronos - wolf boy is one, parasite queen is another. 3 left. Is there a human among them? Do we have INTERPLANETARY SPECIATION? (probably not but that'd be cool)

Yoo Sangah and Han Sooyoung should, can, and will have hate-charged homosexual intercourse with each other. Happy pride month to them only.

We learned about another ripple effect of KDJ's actions from what YSA updated him to what she'd been up to these past 2 days - Gong Pildu likely won't be one of the ten evils this round, just as Lee Seolhwa likely won't be either. All thanks to KDJ :')

And finally:

People can become constellations. Wonder if this is exclusively a post-mortem thing. Still curious as to what death in this story looks like/if there's some kind of afterlife. If Greek Gods and Christianic angels exist in this universe as gods which afterlife reigns "supreme", if there is one at all? There's the anomaly of the Unknown God as well.

[venomous--fics]

Anon Requested: Omg wait can i request a fic where reader feels like they aren’t good enough for eddie and venom so reader breaks up with them and eddies sad and just a lot of angst (BUT happy ending) if not thats okay !

A/n: Day 5!! I'm think about just extending the weekathon to the entire month! Not too sure yet, but I should decide quickly huh!! I just think it'd be fun to do something like that. Maybe get more and more festive along the way. What do you think?

Song: Halley's Comet by Billie Eilish

"So, that's just it? You're just gonna up and leave and not tell us why?"

He wanted to sound mad, but his voice gave it all away. You couldn't stand the thought of what you were doing to them both. You couldn't even bring yourself to look at them as you left. You didn't even bother to grab your things. You just left emptyhanded.

Subconsciously, maybe you knew you'd find your way back eventually. But...Not now.

The weight of the world began to crush you with every step you took away from their place. You knew they were watching you from the window. If you had to leave, they'd at least make sure you'd stay safe.

It all felt like a cruel punchline to an unfunny joke. How could you be such a fool to think you'd be good for them? They....They were a protector. A lethal one, but still a protector. They helped people and saved the world from every threat imaginable. You sometimes couldn't even drag yourself out of bed.

It didn't seem fair to drag them down like that. They deserved better. They deserved the world, and you just couldn't give them that. Someday they'd find someone who would.

That night was spent alone on a friend's spare guest bed. The world was so quiet. There were no streetlights beaming into your room. There was no more sounds of late night traffic or the people talking and walking as they passed under your shared window.

There was no more fighting Venom for the comforter because he'd purposely hog it just to get your attention. It always worked. There wasn't the usually jokes about forgetting to set your alarms for the work morning ahead.

You simply set your alarm and laid down. The world seemed so much colder and emptier. It didn't seem fun and bright anymore. The bed felt much more spacious now.. The pillows felt too squishy and new. The sheets looked nothing like his.

Staring at the wall wasn't going to put you to sleep any faster, so you rolled over and clamped your eyes shut. You willed yourself to not cry.

The tv kept repeating the same old stuff. Robbery after robbery. Someone got shot. A car accident. Oh, it's going to rain tomorrow.

We should be fixing that..

"I don't feel like doing anything anymore."

"I don't feel like doing anything anymore either, V."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Normally there'd be some form of a pep talk from you, but now.. Your spot on the couch was empty. All that was there to suggest that you even existed was your favorite throw pillow.

With hesitation, Eddie grabbed the pillow and held it in his lap. It still looked brand new, and that's simply because you always knew how to take care of things. Nothing of yours ever really got broken or misplaced..And you always knew just how to handle things.

"I miss them."

A thought they shared in common. It's felt like months, but it's only been a couple of weeks. Your things were still occupying space here. It was almost torturous having to look at them each day and know that you weren't going to come home.

It was that thought that broke them both. They curled up on the couch, sad and defeated. The world was incomplete because you weren't here to make ti better. A rough day at work? You'd say, "Oh, don't worry." as you made some hot coco to relax with. Emotions getting out of control? You were always there with ways to fix them.

Did they take you for granted? Did they forget to cherish you? Did they do something wrong? Everyone always told them that they were just screwups who ruined everything, so maybe they just fucked it up again.

Maybe they'd learn to live with it. Just not today.

It's just not home anymore. Home is where you were.

The rain was awfully heavy today. But you were thankful. Today was hitting you harder than the last few. You were stumbling down the sidewalk, tears streaming down your face. Nothing seemed to hold any meaning anymore. You'd pass by Mrs. Chen's shop, and normally you'd stop by there to get Eddie and V a snack or two. But now, you simply keep walking.

Today you just let your body walk. To where? Wherever you felt like you needed to go. You were so tired, and so worn down. That only help cement in the fact that you just... You were an absolute nobody. Who could love a nobody?

If only you were born gifted with the brains, the talents or even the powers. Maybe you'd be worth something. Maybe you'd see yourself as more. Maybe if you felt like you held any importance to anyone, you'd find a reason to stick around anywhere, with anyone.

Despite wanted to be more to literally anyone, all you could think is being better for them. They meant so much, no, no, they mean so much to you. It felt so dumb and childish to be so hung up on two of the goofiest creatures on this planet. You couldn't lie to anyone. You were hopelessly in love with Eddie Brock, a man who truly was a breed of his own. And you were in love with Venom, an alien with a heart bigger than his stomach but he's too embarrassed to say it.

You don't want to love them anymore. Because you still believe it was better to not be with them.

You slumped against a light post and wiped your eyes. You tried everything to stop the tears from flowing, but that only made them multiply. You'd scold yourself if you had the energy.

The world really did begin to feel more and more empty. People seemed to walk pass and not even give you a second glance. None of them cared, and to be honest, neither did you. Normally you never noticed other people, because you'd be so wrapped up in whatever it was you and Eddie, and yes, Venom too, were doing.

But they aren't here anymore. You were back to where you started. Alone and afraid of what the world had in store. You used to wake up knowing what you'd be doing...But now you weren't sure.

You remained leaned against the streetlight for an eternity. The sun had set and the moon had risen, yet you remained put. Everything was cold now. The rain had subsided, but the light continued to drip down on you, but even then, you didn't have the willpower to move.

It's better to be cold than to have never been warm, right? That is how the saying goes...Right?

You sniffled, waiting for the next set of drops to hit your head, but they never did. You slowly looked up and saw someone's hands holding up a jacket. They looked like they were doing their best to hold it up like an umbrella, and without touching you. You recognized the jacket immediately, even just from seeing the inside of it. You'd worn it so many times.

You stood up straight and turned around, being greeted with the sight of Eddie. He looked just as tired as you, and just as lost. He looked like he had a million things to say, but it seems like the cat had his tongue.

The universe was giving you a chance. For some reason.

"I'm sorry." was the first thing to spill out of your mouth.

"We're sorry, too."

"You didn- It was me. I was.." You took a step back from under the jacket, but it seems like Venom wasn't having any of that. He moved Eddie's body for him, this time, draping the jacket on your shoulders.

You gently crossed your arms and held them close, appreciating the gesture now.

"You can leave now. If you want." Eddie moved back a little, "We just saw that you were cold.."

"I don't want to go." you gripped onto the jacket, trying to fight the new wave of tears threatening to come out, "I just.. I had to because I felt like I wasn't good enough."

You were about to ramble on when Eddie cut you off, "That's why you left?"

"I'm sorry." You felt like you could just curl up and die on the sidewalk.

You looked down, staring at the cracks that littered the walkway. You'd find someway to make this poetic.

Two hands, one human and the other very much not, wrapped themselves around you as they pulled you into a warm embrace.

"Did we make you feel that way?"

The way Eddie's voice cracked made your arms go limp at your sides.

"No. I made myself feel that way- But I can't help it. You guys do so much good and I-"

"We love you."

The hug got tighter, "We used to do what we did because it was the right thing to do. But then we met you and it all changed. It seems so cliche to say that, but...It's true."

"You're just saying that."

"We adore you. We promised to do everything we can to make sure we leave this world a better place for you."

Your hands shook as your fought with yourself. You wanted to hold them just as close as they were holding you, but you felt-

"I don't deserve this.."

Unworthy.

In typical Brock fashion, and never knowing how to truly deal with his emotions, Eddie clung to you, almost pleading, "Would you just listen to what we're saying."

"You can't love me."

"Why the hell not? Huh? Whose going to stop us?"

"Nobody's going to stop us."

"Why is it me. Out of all the worthy people, why me?"

"You're such a good person. I know you don't see that..But you're the kindest person I've ever met."

"Certainly the nicest I've met..."

Every last word you wanted to yell out into the night sky just vanished from your mind. You wrapped your arms around Eddie and squeezed as hard as you could.

"How many times do we have to say it to make you believe it?"

"I'll say it a billion times," Eddie said, "Most guys would quit at a million but me? I don't know when to quit."

"It's true. He doesn't. But if saying it a billion times gets you to come home, then I'd do it a million more than him."

"I," You started, taking in a deep shaky breath, "I wanna go home regardless."

"We can talk more there if you're comfortable."

"With coco."

"I would like that."

The walk home was a talkative one.

Eddie's hand held yours tightly, but not too tight. He was so afraid that if he didn't hold it firmly enough, you'd simply slip away again. He was sure as hell not letting that happen again.

The apartment looked the exact same as when you left. You were so surprised by that. Normally they'd be a mess if you were gone for too long, and the apartment would reflect that.

"It all looks the same."

"Oh. Yeah." Eddie busied himself with fetching the hot chocolate ingredients.

"We couldn't bring ourselves to ruin your hard work...Or move your things." For the first time, Venom seemed sad.

They both seemed tired. You wanted to feel bad, knowing that they felt that way because of you. But knowing that they loved you meant that they felt bad, not because of you, but because you were gone.

Without thinking, your hand reached out and grabbed Eddie's arm, startling him a little.

"Can we go lay down for a little bit.." you asked quietly, "I think we all need a little rest."

Relief washed over him as he set down the cups and lead the way to the bedroom. There was no more words as you three crashed onto the mattress. Venom used a small tendril to turn the lamp off and pull you closer to Eddie.

"Are you okay with loving a nobody like me?" you asked as you watched him shut his eyes.

"Are you okay with loving two nobodies?"

"We are all losers."

Venom pulled a blanket over you and Eddie, going so far as to fluff the pillows under your heads.

"And that's okay. I love us the way we all are."

You yawned for the first time in ages as your eyes closed, "I love us too."

There was that familiar light coming through the window. And there was the sounds of the cars and the people. The world felt just right and you were home. You moved closer to Eddie and placed a quick, soft kiss on his lips, and his arms were quick to wrap around you.

You felt a soft tendril wrap around your arm.

"I know what you're feeling and what you're thinking." His voice sounded surprisingly quiet, "But you are more than enough for us. We don't say it, but sometimes we feel the same way. You could certainly do better than us. But.."

The tendril tighten a little, but not enough to really do much.

"You left and we realized...We don't know what to do without you. We didn't feel like doing anything anymore. It felt pointless."

You turned your head to look at your arm, seeing two small white eyes staring at you with a mixture of sadness and adoration.

"I know I'm not good with these human emotions..I might never be good with them, but..I know that I love you. And Eddie loves you too. We always try our best to show you..But you are truly all we need to be happy in this life."

You were a bit shocked with how much Venom had to say. Most of the time, he tried to use the least amount of words possible to get his point across, so you knew that he meant it.

"You both complete me, and for once, I finally have the courage to say it, because I don't know when I'll get the chance to say it again."

You smiled softly at him, and moved your arm in a way where you could place a soft kiss onto the top of his tiny little worm head.

"I won't leave again. I promise we can talk about it first."

"Talking is good."

"I love you, V."

"I love you too." He seemed to pause as he shot a glance up to Eddie, just to make sure he was still asleep, "More than that guy."

"Not possible." Eddie groaned, adjusting a little.

You smiled a little as you curled up under the blanket and actually shut your eyes for good for the night. Finally, a good night's rest. You still had doubts, maybe not many and none as big and frightening as before, but that was normal.

Not everything in life is a given or a certainty. You're not promised to tomorrow and it's not a give that you'll be a millionaire. But where you are now is where you're supposed to be. Don't doubt it. The two halves of your heart will quite literally walk to the ends of the universe just to see you smile, and that's more than enough for you.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

what a nightmare

bucky barnes x reader ⎢ masterlist.

request by @marvel-diaries: Hi wifey❤️ So I came across this image and I’ve been cry laughing for like 5 minutes😂So for 2K I wanted to request something kind of based on this image😂 You’re on your period and Bucky takes care of you for the day! Makes you feel comfortable and goes to the store for you to buy what you need. He ends up calling you on FaceTime because the whole pad/tampon section is just so confusing so he needs your help! At the end of the day you and him are cuddled up on the couch together eating your favorite snacks! Please and thank you❤️

word count: 1k.

warnings/tags: none.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

Once Bucky found you wrapped in your favorite cozy blanket lying on the sofa and with pouty lips, he knew that month your period hit you really hard. You could barely move without feeling cramps all around your lower belly, grunting and curling in a ball with your arms surrounding your abdomen. He left your house without saying a word about where he was going, just placing a soft kiss on your forehead and asking you to not move, to rest. Bucky drove to the closest store, decided to pamper you the whole day or until you felt better. That was the only thing he wanted, to make you smile again and make disappear any pain that you were suffering.

His first stop was the snack sections. Your boyfriend brought you all kinds of junk food —your favorite chocolate bars, chips, candies, peanut butter. Anything he had seen you eating other months, even two bottles of ice cream because one wasn't enough. Bucky bought you one of those stuffed animals with cherry pits inside to put it in the microwave and use it to alleviate the cramps. He took a raccoon. It didn't need an explanation why, it was pretty obvious. He toured the whole supermarket, adding some pizzas to the cart for dinner.

Everything was going okay. Your boyfriend was more than happy to help you and to contribute to your well-being. But that happiness fell into pieces when he reached the pad and tampons sections. “What the hell?” He thought confused like never in his life. If he believed that war was to go to Germany and fight the Nazis was because in his time there weren't too damn many kinds of pad and tampons. They were divided by size, fabrics, brands, smells, colors (...). He didn't know which one you used and he thought about asking somebody working there but each person was a world.

Much to his regret, fucking up the surprise, Bucky took his phone from a pocket and called you via facetime. His heart broke as soon as he saw you on his screen with teary eyes, sniffing in pain.

“Hey, sorry”. He mumbled honeyedly. “Listen, I, uh… came to the store and… what the… hell is all of this? I just wanted to buy you pads or tampons or whatever the hell you use and… honestly, this 's a nightmare”.

You couldn't help but laugh in tears, cleaning them with the back of your hand, just by imagining the situation by the look on his face. He was literally begging for help.

“They're called Tampax Pearl”. You chuckled.

“Yeah, okay… Lemme… Lemme… Just gimme a second”. Bucky was freaking out, touring with his gaze the whole damn hallway.

“They're the color of your eyes”.

“Doll, listen… I ain' playing games, I just wanna go home and never come back”.

Your laughter made you stir because of the lash of pain straight to your ovaries, curling up your legs to your chest.

“Blue and green”.

“My eyes aren't gre— To who the hell are you looking at, uh?”

“You should watch them under the sun, you punk…”

“Your passive-aggressive romanticism overwhel— OH, finally, goddammit”.

You watched the triumphant grimace appearing on his face while adding three packets to the card, trying to glance at what else he had bought with not much success.

“Okay, good… 'M gonna pay, run away and never come back to this place. See you in a minute, doll”.

“Buck”. You called his name when he was about to hang up, not being able to hold back another giggle when you saw his expression turning into pure horror, hoping you didn't ask him for anything else from there. “I love you…”

“I love you too. More than anything. 'M gonna take care of you today, 'kay? Don't you worry, your soldier's comen'”.

You lied down on the sofa after finishing dinner and Bucky cleaned the kitchen, to cuddle, lacing your legs and arms together under your blanket. You felt much better than that morning. You took a warm bath, your pills, a long nap, and filled your stomach with all the things he bought for you —yet having your hot raccoon under your shirt, well pressed to your abdomen. You felt better than in heaven, receiving tender kisses from your boyfriend to any part of your body he had access to, putting more effort and love whenever he could reach your lips from behind.

Bucky was swept off his feet for you, it was something undeniable. You were his anchor, keeping him afloat twenty-four seven. And taking care of you as part of his nature, always feeling that necessity, that urgency for making you feel happy, loved, satisfied in any kind of way. You were his whole life. So, when it came to you, anything was insufficient for him.

Turning around under his firm, warm and fond embrace, you brought your lips to his. It was an ephemeral touch that caused him to close his eyes and sigh completely in love, feeling his heart racing from one second to another under your palm rested on his chest. Your left made his way to the back of his head as soon as Bucky parted your mouth in such a slow-motion to slide his tongue, looking for yours, gently caressing it. Your boyfriend pressed you a little more closely, as if it was possible, letting you almost lie on top of him. There weren't any sexual intentions hidden behind that kiss, just wanting to show him how much you appreciate any effort he did for you.

Both of you ended up breathing through your nostrils, not wanting to pause your session of makeout in the gloomy of your living room. He lived for those long, long kisses, only worrying about tasting your saliva, biting your lips, and playing with your tongue. And, God, Bucky was an expert, causing you soft goosebumps whenever he caressed your back or arms so lovingly that melted your heart completely.

“Thank you”. You whispered as you could, stroking his weak spot beneath his ear with your thumb.

He couldn't help but purr delighted on your mouth, feeling a smile curving up to his lips as he got comfier under your weight after positioning you between his legs, using you as his favorite personal blanket.

“I love you, Buck… So much I can't explain”.

“Try it, darlin'. You have a whole life to bear me”.

“What a nightmare”. You giggled, placing a smooch on top of his nose.

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[dollslayer]

Fight or Flight

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve comes clean, in the aftermath and shock you turn to the one person who you know you can trust.

W/C: 2,369

Warnings: Implied cheating, angst, swearing

A/N: Hello! I wrote this for @sweetlyscared 's 1k celebration (congrats, it's well deserved!), prompt is in bold. I'm still pretty new to writing and this is my first true Angst fic so any and all reblogs/comments are super appreciated! Please check out my other stuff if you liked this fic!! Cheers!

PART TWO I Masterlist

____

The feeling of everything crashing around you was slow. Like your world was moving in slow motion as you processed the words. Everything else he was saying became distorted, going to waste as he tried desperately to explain himself to you. All you could hear clearly was your own breathing while you tried to will yourself to do something, anything.

Fight or flight is a funny thing, you were always so feisty and eager to fight back, A Bulldog, Steve had affectionately called you. But when he told you he was in love with someone else, that he has been in love with someone else for months, your body couldn’t find anything in it but to walk away.

Your breathing picked up and your eyes searched the ground, refusing to meet his. You felt your legs raise you up to stand and start walking away, unsure of your destination. When you pivoted to leave the room your eyes met his briefly, staring emotionlessly as his desperately searched for anything at all in yours.

“Where are you going? Doll, please, can we talk about this? I’m, I’m so sorry I-”

Whatever else he was saying wasn’t heard over the noise of opening the door and shutting it behind you. You didn’t know where you were going or what you were feeling other than the obvious. You were in a state of shock, it’s one thing to hear awful news and another to understand that it’s true but you were fastly approaching that truth head-on.

You paused for a moment in the hall and heard no movement come after you. You almost let yourself be surprised but he’d admitted he gave up on you a long time ago, so it only makes sense he wouldn’t fight your exit. You kept walking and tried to hold the floodgates of your heart closed for a bit longer.

Flashes of what was said come back to you slowly as reality sets in. “I can’t put this off any longer. I want you to know that I will always love you, but there’s someone else.”

Your head hurt like it would as if you were already crying, the blood pumping in your ears and pressure building in your temples that would no doubt evoke a long-standing headache. Your face felt hot as you stepped into the elevator, maybe you’d go for a walk in an attempt to fend off your tears. Or maybe you’d walk to a safer place to have an emotional breakdown. Whichever is easier.

Brisk gusts of air greet you as you exit the building, making you realize you left your jacket on the arm of the couch. You took a second to evaluate yourself and noticed you’d also walked out in your house slippers and a thin pair of leggings. Trying to evade the cold you tucked yourself in the doorway of a bodega down the street and dialed Bucky.

Two rings and he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Did you know?”

The silence on the line only reminds you of the blood pumping in your ears. The silence tells you everything you needed to know.

“Liste-”

You hang up.

You’re breathing even harder now. Who else knew? For how long? How long was I the joke? You need to find somewhere else to be soon or all these strangers are going to get an eyeful of a grown woman sobbing. You dial the last number you’d expect to at a time like this.

“What’s happening, shortstack?”

You can hear Tony’s grin through the phone and his easy greeting gives you momentary comfort.

“Can I come over? Something happened.”

“I’ll let Jarvis know to let you in” Tony’s tone is understanding, not needing you to explain further, just letting you know you can come to him.

____

Tony’s only seven blocks from yours and Steve’s shared apartment, a fact you’re grateful for when you feel your feet aching every time they hit the pavement. The conversation replays in your head, you try to word what happened in your head and your anger starts overtaking the heartbreak. It’s almost a welcome reprieve from the settling heartbreak but you’re not sure if you’d rather be numb to it completely.

When the elevator doors open Tony’s waiting for you with two tumblers of scotch in hand. You shake your head and move past him to the couch. He joins you on the opposite armchair and sets both his elbows down on his spread knees, resting his face in his hands.

“Would you like to talk about it or not talk about it?” He asks with a sigh.

You don’t make eye contact with him so you don’t cry, choosing to focus on the Iron Man coffee table book you’d gotten as a gag gift for Tony all those Christmases ago. It almost distracts you enough to laugh, the fact that he just has it out. But you need to tell someone what happened and get it all out before you can let yourself feel it all.

“Steveisinlovewithsomeoneelse,” You rushed it all out in one breath afraid if you didn’t get it out fast enough that you’d break. “He has been for months. He said he doesn’t know when it all changed but when he was with her things just clicked,” you paused to collect yourself, “But don’t worry, I’ll always hold a special place in his heart and he hopes this won’t affect the future of the team or our friendship.”

“Oh, and he’s really sorry.” you added.

You laughed bitterly and shook your head in disbelief. His delivery had been so cold but so sincere, very to the point but pained in its delivery. “I just, whatever we had, it’s just gone. Things are just different now, with her, this kills me though, please believe me. You’re still really special to me.” Bullshit. Special enough to act as a placeholder until someone better comes, special enough to cast aside.

You’re broken momentarily from your spiral into anger by the sound of a glass hitting a coaster a little too hard. Looking up, you find Tony quietly seething. He and Steve aren’t close by any means so you figured that he wouldn’t have known, it’s why you called him over anyone else.

He moves slowly to your side on the couch and pulls you into his side. You can smell his aftershave and what you think might be burned grease from one of the many things he’s been tinkering with in the lab, it smells like him, like comfort.

“That fucking asshole. Unbelievable, I don’t even…” He leaves the thought unfinished.

His hands move up and down your arms in a soothing motion and you finally let yourself have it. You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel the tears wet his shirt when you bury your face in. You sniffle up tears and snot when your face heats up.

There’s no way to know how long Tony lets you sob into him, no doubt ruining his vintage Depeche Mode shirt. Somewhere in the back of your mind you make a mental note to buy him a new one later. But for now you’ll just allow yourself to cry and you can deal with the world in the morning.

____

Tony lets you fall asleep on his chest, feeling somewhere between furious and heartbroken by proxy. He thinks about letting you sleep and giving Steve a piece of his mind but figures that’s not what you need right now. Your phone sits on the table and he touches the screen to check the time. No notifications on your homescreen except for a missed call from Bucky and an old photo of Steve making a funny face as your background.

Had Steve not even tried to call you? Had he not even tried to go after you? Why was Bucky of all people the only one to be trying to get a hold of you? Prick.

Selfishly Tony is glad that he has a good reason to be rude to Steve now, he has to admit. You two had always been close but when you and Steve started dating he saw less and less of you. He couldn’t fault you for it though, you were so in love with Steve and you knew that the relationship between the two of them was strained so you kept your distance a bit.

He thought of all the sacrifices you’d made for Steve. You gave up your childhood home in the Bronx that your parents had willed to you to move in with him because he wanted you to be closer to the tower. You gave up a promotion and transfer to DC when you were still just an agent, granted you were an avenger now but it doesn’t matter, he’d made a very big deal out of you turning it down. You gave up the friendship the two of you had.

It was incredible, really. How much you had done for him only for him to turn around and love someone else behind your back. Brave enough to fight aliens and terrorists but too cowardly to break up with you and leave you with some dignity. Did anyone else know about this?

Tony had to stop himself from getting too angry, afraid he’d wake you up. So instead he went back to plotting up schematics for the half-finished suit mod he’d been in the middle of when you called.

____

It’s been a week and you still haven’t properly talked to Steve. After two days on Tony’s couch you need to look at things from a logical stance. Where am I going to stay? It’s not like you had your parent’s place anymore and you didn’t want to sign a new lease on an apartment. You could always move into the tower but that meant a higher chance of running into Steve.

You were thinking about all of this out loud to Tony when he offered you the guest bedroom in his penthouse. You were shocked, he’s always been a generous man but after you drifted apart from him you were surprised he even let you stay these past few days. Maybe now was a good time to rebuild your friendship with him and have some space from work.

What’s work going to be like? You agree and go on a temporary leave from the team, just a month to collect yourself. If you really wanted to you could go back but the thought of seeing everyone that knew about Steve’s affair was humiliating and enraging in one go.

It turns out Sam had been playing therapist to Steve in all of this, Nat figured it out through some sleuthing, and Wanda had inadvertently heard his thoughts about her. And none of them thought to tell you? To save you from the anguish but to let it fester? Steve wasn’t the only one that betrayed you. They all had.

What will I say to him? Should I say anything to him? Turns out the answer was ‘nothing’. You texted him to let him know you were moving out and you’d be by to get your things as a courtesy. You walked into an empty apartment and you were almost relieved.

He’d chosen to not be here but he’d left you a letter on the kitchen counter next to a framed photo of the two of you on vacation last year. You scoff but don’t touch the letter. Every ounce of restraint you have is being used as you leave it untouched. But you don’t need to know what excuses or apologies he has on deck, nothing he could say would exonerate him of his wrong-doings. You had no intentions of speaking to him but secretly you hoped he suffered as he stewed in his guilt and inner-turmoil. He deserves to.

When you pack you leave every gift he ever gave you, taking only what you’d brought with you in the first place. You take one look at the unmade bed and almost go to make it out of habit but then you think of the two of them there together. All the long missions you went on without him, all the times you stayed late at work or went out with your friends. How many times had he been here with her while you were there?

You end up only leaving with two suitcases and a backpack full of things. Tony waits for you in the lobby, understanding you wanted your space when you went to get your things in case Steve was there.

The elevator doors open to him taking a selfie with a couple of fans and shaking hands. He’s all too happy to be recognized but when he sees you his eyes soften. Not out of pity, but fondness, like he’s proud of you for getting out.

He sends you a questioning look with a silent question. Are you okay?

You smile at him and for the first time in days it’s a genuine, non-placating, happy-to-see-you smile. It’s okay, I’ll be okay.

He takes one of your suitcases from you and helps you load them into the back of the car before opening the door for you. The drive back to Tony’s is silent but comfortable. The trust you have in each other is strong and unspoken. Something you’ve always been grateful for between the two of you.

He doesn’t ask you about Steve or what happened, always letting you come to him first, which you appreciate. And when you talk he just listens. No bullshit unsolicited advice about moving on or how everything happens for a reason or getting back out there, just listens.

You know the road ahead is long and it will be difficult, but you have someone in your corner and the knowledge that what happened isn’t your fault and that you’re a badass and fuck Steve Rogers and fuck anyone else that did you wrong in all of this. Maybe you’ll forgive them someday but for now you’re gonna focus on you and work on building yourself back up. You’re ready for the ups and downs, you’re ready to fight.

[thevoidfishsminstrel]

Alex Danvers wasn’t phased by much. Had she expected to get an alien sister? No. But she went along with it (eventually) and was a good sister. Had she expected to get recruited by a government agency? No. But that was fine, and she was good at her job. Had she expected to be gay? Also no. But she accepted it and she was… well she was a disaster on that front, but she was happy.

The one time that she possibly, maybe, perhaps faltered a little, and thought, ‘this cannot possibly be my life now’, however, was during the months after the arrival of one Lena Luthor to National city.

———

“Alex! I broke Lena Luthor’s chair!”

Alex whirled around to see Supergirl anxiously striding towards her through the DEO, whisper-shouting her name. “You did what?”

Kara came to a stop in front of her, nervously wringing her hands. “I broke Lena Luthor’s chair.”

Alex blinked. “How? I thought you and Clark were just interviewing her?”

“We were! I was just standing behind one of the chairs in front of her desk and holding the back of it and then she looked at me and I wasn’t expecting it and a bit of the chair just kind of broke off in my hand. I tried to squish it back into place and tucked the chair under the desk but I think you might be able to tell if you looked too closely.”

Alex sighed. “Okay. Don’t worry, I’ll get it fixed.”

Kara deflated with relief and grinned. “Thanks Alex.”

Ten minutes later, Alex phoned the L-corp lobby with an excuse to get Lena down there while J’onn phased through her balcony door and swapped the very obviously hand-shaped-dented chair with a new one that would hopefully go unnoticed. She had naively thought that that would be the end of it.

———

A week and a half later, Alex got a panicked phone call from Kara claiming that she had seen Lena at a restaurant and stayed to have brunch with her but there was now a large chunk of table missing from where they had been sitting, caused by Lena laughing at one of her jokes. Suspicion had begun to creep into the back of Alex’s mind but she was too exasperated to pay it any attention.

Kara said she had managed to cover it up with an empty bread basket and persuade Lena they should go to see the crepe stand that had been at the park recently.

Alex, Winn and James had arrived at the restaurant half an hour later in fake uniforms and a fake van, claiming a table replacement had been ordered by the restaurant management. They quickly set up the new table and took away the cornerless one along with the piece of wood that had Kara’s fingerprints permanently embedded in it.

———

Over the next few months, they replaced glasses, vases, windows, tables, chairs, various cutlery, and an array of annoyingly abstract decorations that had to be specially 3D printed because no replacements existed.

A new section of the DEO budget had to be put aside, labelled ‘Cleanup’, and the superfriends became unofficially known as ‘The Cleanup Squad’ (although Winn only said it out loud once, given Alex’s thinly veiled threat afterwards).

It wasn’t until Alex witnessed one of the events that preceded the need for The Cleanup Squad that her subconscious suspicions hit her like the ton of bricks they would have to fix.

It was a standard game night with a shot too many and a brain cell too few, all of them shouting over a game of two truths one lie, when the delivery guy arrived with their food.

Kara went to get the door while Lena had her go. That was the first mistake.

Kara had been sneaking alien alcohol into her drink for the past hour.

Lena’s third sentence was ‘I’m more often attracted to women than men’.

Kara’s foot went through her floorboards with a crunch and she stumbled into her front door, making the whole wall tremble worryingly. Alex shouted out one of the other sentences as a guess to distract Lena from looking behind her to see what the noise was. That was the next mistake.

Kara took the food from a slightly confused looking delivery guy, thanking him and checking the bags as he walked away, as Lena cheered, wine sloshing around in her glass.

“Alex wins! Women are hot and I like to kiss them.”

The door came off its hinges in Kara’s hand and as she went to correct her mistake she smashed it into the doorframe with enough force to bring down a plane. The door, doorframe and half the wall collapsed to the floor, leaving a shellshocked Kara among the rubble, holding a useless doorknob.

Nia slung her arm across Lena’s shoulders to stop her turning around again and cheered. “Woohoo! That’s great! Hey can you teach me how to win at Monopoly?”

Lena frowned. “But only half of us have had a go at-”

“Yeah! You guys set up Monopoly while I go get snacks with James.” Alex not-so-subtly dragged James up with her, glaring at Winn. “What about you, Winn?”

He jumped up with a nervous laugh. “I need the toilet! Yep!”

They all scurried off to where Kara was just standing and blinking. Alex took the food and doorknob from her hands, putting the food on the counter and the doorknob in a nearby vase while Winn and James started haphazardly piling bricks back up into a wall-ish shape. Nia and Brainy seemed to be going through every single Monopoly card and asking Lena about it in a kind of terrifyingly over enthusiastic pop quiz.

Kara snapped out of her daze and began helping as Alex sent a message to the DEO to get a new door there as quickly as possible. She dragged Kara out into the hall and made her laservision off the entire door and doorframe of her neighbour who was luckily currently on holiday. While Kara did that, she kicked the old bits of door and brick dust under a rug in the hall.

Kara fit the new door into the hole that James and Winn were leaving, blowing her freezebreath over the whole wall to freeze it all in place for the time being.

Before she could go back inside, Alex grabbed Kara by the arm. She raised an eyebrow at Kara’s confused look. “Want to explain what just happened?”

Kara blushed and glanced at (or probably through) the door. “I um… I just got distracted by the food.”

“So it was nothing to do with Lena openly admitting she’s bisexual?”

Kara blanched. “I- wha- pff no.”

Alex rolled her eyes and opened the door to let Kara through before she broke anything else.

They all moved back over to the living room area as casually as possible, Winn setting out the food.

Alex leaned down to speak quietly to Kara before she sat down herself. “You know you can talk to me right?”

Kara nodded shyly and she let it go.

———

The last operation The Cleanup Squad did, it was Nia that called.

Alex sat up in bed, having only just managed to fall asleep, and picked up her phone. “Hello?”

“Alex? Kara’s about to break Lena’s coffee table.”

Alex sighed and waved away Kelly’s questioning look. “Okay. I’ll call J’onn.”

Ten minutes later, Alex was hanging onto J’onn like a backpack as he hovered just under Lena’s balcony with a replacement table.

There was a crash from inside.

“What was that?” Lena’s voice came from somewhere further inside her apartment and J’onn floated up to peer through the windows.

“Nothing! Just… a video on my phone.”

Alex’s phone buzzed with what was presumably the panicked text she just watched Kara send.

Kara went further into the apartment, rambling to Lena about how they should get into their pjs before they watch the next movie.

J’onn alighted on the balcony and they quietly made their way inside. J’onn cleared the broken table into a bag and flew off to dispose of it while Alex set down the new one.

Just as she was putting into place, Lena wandered into the room. Their eyes met briefly before Lena turned towards her kitchen, filled a glass of water, and left again, as though she hadn’t seen anything.

J’onn was back in the next moment and they disappeared back out into the night.

———

Lena opened the door with a smile and stepped aside to let Alex in. “Alex. What can I do for you?” She shut the door and led her over to the kitchen. “Tea? Coffee?”

“Coffee please.”

Alex sat down at Lena’s kitchen island, thinking about how to phrase what she was going to say while Lena made them both a coffee.

Lena set a mug down in front of her and sat down across the island, waiting patiently for Alex to start talking.

“Do you know?”

Lena smiled, raising an eyebrow. “I know lots of things.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Fine. Do you know about what we’ve been doing?”

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, Danvers.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I know you saw me last night, Luthor. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Lena smiled and shook her head. “Alex, I have the most high tech security system in the world and an IQ that is most definitely higher than a five year old, and even a five year old would be able to notice you lot trying to rebuild furniture around them. Did you really think I didn’t notice? You replaced a $1000 chair with Ikea furniture.”

Alex went to defend herself but just deflated. “Yeah. Sorry.” She swirled her spoon through the coffee foam. “So why didn’t you say anything?”

Lena shrugged. “She’ll tell me when she’s ready.”

Alex watched her for a moment and smiled. Yeah. She was pretty sure she’d be her sister-in-law one day.

———

“Alex?”

She pushed past Kara into her apartment. “I think you should tell Lena.”

Kara blushed and stuttered as she closed the door. “Wha- I- There’s nothing to tell!”

Alex frowned at the odd reaction before she realised what Kara thought she meant and rolled her eyes. “No not that. Well… that too. But that’s not what I meant. I think you should tell her about Supergirl.”

Kara gaped at her. “Really?”

“Yeah. She proved beyond a doubt that she’s trustworthy and I can see how much you two mean to each other.”

Kara bit her lip, looking down and wringing her hands together. “But what if… what if she hates me for it?”

Her eyes were so big and sad and scared when she looked back up that Alex immediately wrapped her in a hug. “That’s not going to happen, okay? And the rest of us are here for you whatever happens. You know that, right?”

Kara nodded against her shoulder. “Okay.”

———

Kara stood outside Lena’s office, trying to drag her courage back from where it had run to hide, and wiping her sweaty palms on her slacks.

The door opened and Lena hesitantly poked her head out. “You doing okay out here?”

Kara gave a strangled laugh and nodded unconvincingly.

Lena stepped out of her office to join Kara in the corridor. “Okay, well, do you want to tell me why you’ve been standing out here for the past ten minutes?”

She gulped, breathing getting a little faster.

“Hey, hey it’s okay.”

Lena took her hand, stroking her thumb across her knuckles gently. It calmed her down a little and she sighed, leaning back against the wall and sliding down it, hand slipping out of Lena’s.

Lena came and sat on the floor beside her, offering her hand again.

Kara gladly tangled their fingers together, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, my hand’s a little sweaty.”

Lena laughed and bumped their shoulders together. “That’s okay.”

Kara sighed and brought her other hand up to her glasses. “Lena, I-” She closed her eyes and removed her glasses with a shaky hand.

She felt gentle fingers take them from her grasp and opened her eyes to watch Lena carefully fold them up and place them on the floor beside them. She looked at Kara with a soft smile. She reached up and traced the same fingertips across Kara’s cheek, making her eyes flutter closed.

“I know.”

Kara’s eyes snapped open. “You did?”

She nodded.

“Oh. Well now I feel like I’ve made you sit out here on the floor with me for nothing.”

Lena laughed, her eyes and nose crinkling adorably, and Kara couldn’t stop herself from smiling even as her heart beat faster.

“Well since you already knew I was Supergirl, I feel like I should tell you a different secret. Like how I think I’m in love with you.”

Lena’s breath hitched, eyes flitting between Kara’s as they subconsciously leaned slowly closer. “You think?”

Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and Lena’s eyes followed. “I know.”

“Good. Because I am definitely in love with you.”

Any other thoughts melted away when their lips met. Kara’s hand automatically slid to Lena’s waist as Lena pressed closer, soft and warm and perfect.

There was a crunch and Kara fell backwards a little, accidentally pulling Lena so she was almost in her lap, as she made a hole in the wall with her back. They broke apart giggling, resting their foreheads together.

“Sorry.”

Lena kissed her again but they were both smiling too much for it to last long. “At least you don’t have to call Alex everytime you break something around me now.”

[yrbutchgf]

sorry if this is annoying but I just need someone to whine to. I realised I’m bi recently and I’ve stopped using butch out of respect for lesbians but it hurts. It really hurts that it’s not for me anymore even though it still feels like it is. I have to avoid stuff about being butch now because it’s too difficult to see it. I just feel so lonely and like there’s nowhere for me anymore. I don’t want to call myself butch anymore because no matter how many people I see say bi women can use it it still feels wrong but I just wish someone cared

you're not annoying at all. im sorry you've been made to feel alienated from butchness, that's so fucking hard. ive mentioned it before, but i struggled with my sexuality for a long time because i felt that pressure to choose or that fear that id lose butchness if i explored my sexuality, that if i tried out being what i was it would be taken from me. it really, honestly terrified me. i freezed up. i almost left tumblr. i rationalized it and put it in a box to be forgotten about. i left it there in that locked box every summer year after year.

the thing is, the sheer fact that we reacted the way we did should be evidence enough that we are both butch. i was beside myself before i realized i could be both, and i tamped it down so I wouldn't have to deal with it. seemingly you're feeling the same; you miss it so bad, because the thing is it's not like anything about you changed— you FEEL butch, you WANT butch, you ARE butch. you didn't abandon butchness by realizing you're bi, you were made to censor it because other people derided you for it. that's not your fault, that's your peers'.

not saying it feels like tearing away a piece of you physically. it feels like losing your closest ally. because we are butch! and it is for us! who is butchness for if not someone who walks around all day dreaming about it? what is butch if not that red hot desire? what is butch if not fighting to feel like you belong? it's so fucking hard, and it sucks, because it really shouldn't have to be. you and i both deserve to feel accepted and supported on every level. we deserve to feel confident that no aspect of who we are is shameful or in question. we deserve to be surrounded by people who not only say they respect what we are, but who convince us of its beauty and teach us how to honor it. we deserve people who care.

if it means anything, i really fucking care, and so do my mutuals and a lot of the people who follow me. as much as tumblr messed me up about this when i was younger, it was also people on here who saved me two years ago and convinced me that what i am is not only not wrong, but also actively good. here's a handful of their urls: @bakerybutch @lakemichiganbaby @quiltedwings @werewolf4werewolf @butterflybi @sunbi @cherryhub @bifey @tittyfixation @dynabi @pinkvampyr @bisexyenby @mxneckbeard @nbgender note that not all of these people are bi butches or femmes, but they are all people whose posts and presence in various servers made things easier for me. i have a lot to thank a lot of people for, including many who aren't in that list.

i know i always plug this, but you should also think about joining @ganon/@nbgender's 18+ butch/femme server. it's gender and sexuality inclusive and the people in it are really good to be around (and honestly pretty funny). it's got about 90 members, but because only a certain subsection of that amount is regularly active, it still manages to have a groupchat type feeling. new people join all the time, so if you're worried about intruding or anything, don't be. we'll be lucky to have you.

even if you decide not to join the server, i still encourage you to send more asks, anonymous or otherwise, if you ever need to talk, and ill answer as quickly as i can. it gets hard out here but you have people in your corner, and i just want you to know that. ill help whatever way i can. and just so you know, whether you decide to call yourself butch again or not (though obviously im encouraging you to take it back, because it's already yours) — regardless of that, you'll still be my gender comrade, my sister-brother, my sibling in heart. holding this space for you and sending love.

[allisondraste]

Cockroaches and Other Things That Just Keep On Living

Fandom: Mass Effect

Ship: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Word Count: 4019

Summary: It's only been two weeks since the Reaper War ended, and the Alliance is already trying to bury Shepard.

[Click Here for A03]

Two weeks.  It had only been two weeks since the war ended, since that devastating flash of red light burst from the Citadel and bounced off every active relay in the galaxy, since the Reapers fell dead in space and the Normandy crash landed on some tropical little human colony world just on the edge of the Terminus Systems.  It had just been two weeks, but the Alliance and the rest of the whole damn galaxy were already willing to declare Shepard dead.  And to add insult to injury, they’d  given Garrus the great honor and privilege of hanging her name up on a memorial wall in some trite ceremony to make the crew feel better.

“There isn’t anyone who could’ve been at the epicenter of that blast and survived,” Hackett had explained, far too matter-of-factly. “It’s time for us to move forward.”

“Shepard isn’t just anyone,” Garrus had replied, and then promptly told the admiral where to shove his plaque. It was not his finest moment.

Now, he sat in the mess hall, alone and staring down at the dextro-amino rations he’d barely touched. The bastardized version of some overly seasoned human dish would have been unappetizing even if he had an appetite. But he didn’t.  Something about the person he loved being declared dead left a sour taste in his mouth.  He’d only even tried to eat because Liara insisted, and he wasn’t in the mood for another well meant lecture about taking care of himself.

No longer willing to bother, he shoved the plate away from him with the back of his hand, and looked up in just enough time to catch Williams walk past him.  She stopped, performed a proper about-face and marched up to his table.

“Hey,” Ash greeted him like she’d never spoken to him before in her life.

“Hey,” Garrus replied and watched as she shifted uncomfortably and darted her eyes around the entire room before meeting his gaze.

She motioned to an empty seat across the table from him. “Can I— I mean, do you want some company? You just look—”

“Like I’m one news vid about the ‘late’ Commander Shepard away from going postal?” He let out a derisive snort. “Yeah.”

Williams smirked and  eased herself down onto the bench without waiting for him to agree to her company. “I was going to say ‘like shit,’ but that works too.”

He answered her dryly. “Gee. Thanks.”

There was a pause in conversation, then Ash tilted her head in that sympathetic way every human who knew him seemed to do since Earth. “Seriously though… how are you holding up?”

I’m not , Garrus thought, but the words didn’t make it to his mouth, just sarcasm.. “Didn’t realize you cared… or is this just one of those human things where you pretend to care for my benefit?”

She leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Do I seem like the kind of person who pretends to do anything for anyone’s benefit, especially yours?”

He laughed. “Fair.”

“Listen, this is off the record but… Hackett had that mouthful coming.” She laughed and shook her head. “I’m just glad it was you that said it and not me because, well, I like my job.”

If anyone had told Garrus that one day, he’d have a heart-to-heart with the human woman who’d spent their entire first mission together shooting daggers at him from across Normandy’s shuttle bay, he’d have said they were crazy.  But there they were, raw from the absence of someone who meant so much to the both of them.

“It’s been two weeks,” he muttered, looking down at his hands. “ Two. They haven’t even found her bod—“ he tried and failed to choke back the lump in his throat,  but continued talking anyway, glancing up at her— “It’s too damn soon, Ash.”

“I know,” came her firm reply as she reached across the table.  She hesitated for a split second, but then let her hand fall on top of his.  Deep brown eyes welled up with tears that she tried to blink away.  She let out a frustrated huff as one rolled down her cheek anyway, then cleared her throat.  “ Damn. Pretend this isn’t happening.” “Pretend what isn’t happening, Williams?”

“Perfect,” she remarked, wiping her face with the heel of her free hand and laughing. “Kind of hard to believe it’s only been three years since we tracked down Saren.  Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“And look at us now, being mostly civil,” he said with a sigh, staring down at Ash’s hand.  Alien as it was, it reminded him of Shepard’s, strong to be as small as it was, with too many fingers.  He recalled the many times those fingers had traced the hard edges of his face, how that hand had fit so comfortably into his (after a few clumsy attempts, of course).  He’d take another missile to the face to hold it again.

“You know, Shepard worked her ass off to convince me it’d be fine having aliens on board an Alliance vessel,” Ash observed playfully, pulling him from his thoughts.

“You? Paranoid over a handful of non-humans? I’m shocked .”

“Nothing personal,” she explained,“Just didn’t feel comfortable sharing a station with a guy whose grandpa probably shot at mine during the War.”

“Hate to break it to you but—” he leaned back in his seat— “My grandfather was just a run of the mill C-Sec officer.  All he would have done was write your grandfather a nasty citation. ‘Being human in Citadel space,’ used to be a finable offense.”

“God,” she said with another laugh, “Back then, I rolled my eyes and told Shepard I’d do whatever she wanted me to do. ‘You tell me to jump, I ask how high.  You tell me to kiss a turian, I’ll ask which cheek.’”

“We don’t really have cheeks,” Garrus corrected, laughing when Ash shot him a pointed look, “But that’s beside the point.  I’m guessing Shepard never followed through with that order.”

“No, she told me, and I quote, ‘Nobody’s going to be kissing any turians on this mission, Ash,’” she said in her best Shepard impression, then muttered, “Fucking liar.”

“Well, to her credit, I don’t think she planned on me being so… irresistable.”

Ash snorted and rolled her eyes. “Okay, ladykiller .”

There was another pause in conversation, and her expression fell.  She looked down to where her hand still lay on his. “Back then, I just assumed you’d jump ship as soon as things got rocky, as soon as we— as Shepard — really needed you, but…” She trailed off, grip tightening around his hand.  “You never let her down, not once.  Not even when I—”

“You didn’t let her down, Ash,” he argued, sensing where she was headed, “She never thought that.”

“Yeah, well I do,” she snapped, words clipped, “I should have seen the signs that Cerberus had her pinned down, but I let my ego get in the way.  I’m surprised she wanted anything to do with me after that.”

“You’re not the only one who has ever screwed up trying to do the right thing,” he reassured her, “Shepard, of all people, understood that.”

“That’s… you’re probably right,” she nodded and looked up at him, “Thanks. And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Uh, sorry for what?”

“For ever believing you weren’t an important part of the crew,” she stated seriously, then smiled, “And for calling you birdbrain  behind your back.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared in amusement, and he gave her hand a few friendly pats. “No harm done,” he said, then paused for a beat, “Besides, you didn’t hear what I said behind your back.”

One of her eyebrows shot up. “You talked shit about me?”

“So much.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” shouted a familiar voice from across the mess, causing them both to snap their heads toward the sound. “Somebody get this heartwarming moment on camera.”

Ash stiffened, retracting her hand quickly and stuffing it under the table. “Joker.”

“Hey, Joker.” Garrus waved. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he answered, words pointed. “You know, aside from the soul-crushing agony of my girlfriend dying. ”

Garrus had spent enough time around humans to know that the Flight Lieutenant looked rough, even for someone who’d never cared about keeping up appearances.  His eyes were red, the skin underneath dark enough that even the shadow cast from his hat couldn’t disguise the lack of sleep. He made his way unsteadily to the table and sat down next to Williams.

Garrus opened his mouth, preparing to speak, to express sympathy, but Joker cut him off. “And before you start with any of that ‘I understand how you feel’ crap— no you don’t.  Everyone knows you can’t say Shepard’s dead until we’ve ID’d the body.  Maybe not even then. She just keeps living… like a cockroach. ”

“You know you could just say, ‘I’m not doing so hot,” right?” Ash scolded him,  but there was still a softness to her voice. “You don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“Yeah, but see… being an ass is way more my style.”

The table went completely quiet as Joker crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, tension palpable enough it might as well have had mass.  Not one for tolerating awkward silences, Garrus ventured a question. “What the hell is a cockroach?”

Ash smiled, clearly thankful for the change in subject, and began to explain. “They’re these—“

“ Beetles ,” Joker cut her off, “Big, disgusting ones that are supposed to be able to survive extreme conditions other organics can’t.”

“Sounds about right,” Garrus admitted with a shrug.

The pilot flinched and glared at him. “Wait. I called Shepard a disgusting beetle and you’re just okay with that?”

“Are you kidding? Why wouldn’t I be,” he asked sarcastically, “It actually explains why she kept molting. ”

“You’re having fun. Stop it,” Joker whined, scowl deepening, “Stop having fun!”

Garrus laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “This isn’t exactly my idea of fun. My cockroach is missing.”

Joking though he was, his words were honest, something Joker must have detected.  His expression softened even as he puffed his chest out. He deflated immediately as another familiar voice called out, likely interrupting whatever barrage of barbs he’d prepared to hurl at Garrus. This time, it was Vega who strutted over to the table carrying an entire fifth of some sort of human liquor.  Cortez trailed solemnly behind him, examining the rectangular objects in his hands.

“Yo, don’t tell me the party started without us,” shouted Vega, setting the alcohol down on the table with a loud clank , pointing a thumb back at Cortez, “Esteban here took forever polishing the name plaques.”

Garrus stiffened at the mention of the plaques, knowing full and well there had been one commissioned with Shepard’s name on it despite all his protests. Turned out, the Alliance brass didn’t give a damn about some loud mouth former C-Sec officer or his feelings after all. He just hoped none of the humans were able to read the pain in his expression— a hope that was in vain if the sympathetic glance Cortez gave him was any indication.

“What’s that for?” Ashley pointed to the bottle of amber liquid Vega sat on the table.

“What do you think,” Vega asked, as if his intentions should have been completely clear, “I’m going to pour one out for the commander.”

“All over the Normandy's floor?” She raised her brows at him.

“Nah.” He gave her a dismissive wave. “Just down the sink or somethin’.”

She picked the bottle up and examined the label more closely. “But…this is expensive stuff, James.”

“Don’t care,” came Vega’s indignant response, “It’s for Lola.”

Ashley gave him a solemn nod, seeming to understand whatever peculiar human tradition he was planning to perform. Satisfied, Vega turned his attention to Joker, snagging his cap, flipping it around, and placing it down on his head backwards. Joker cursed and grumbled, calling Vega a bully among other things, but Vega just smiled and walked over to Garrus, giving him a supportive clap on the shoulder.

Slowly, the rest of the crew began to filter in, each with their own expressions of concern.  Traynor and Tali arrived together, deep in conversation if the emphatic hand gestures were any indication.  They both quieted as they arrived at the table, Traynor frowning and bowing her head, whileTali approached and slid comfortably  into the seat next to Garrus.

She looked down at the uneaten food and back up at him, giving him a nudge with her elbow and complaining. “You are wasting all of the good dextro rations.”

“Good? Oh, come on,  we both know it’s garbage.”

“Well… yes, but it’s digestible garbage,” she said, holding a finger up to make her point.  Her voice softened when she continued. “And you’ve hardly eaten anything the past few days.”

He sighed and looked down at the rations. “Yeah.”

Tali observed him for a second, eyes glowing behind her helmet. She then grabbed his plate and slid it toward him. “Eat up, Vakarian. Or else I will have to feed you myself… with a spoon I am pretending is the Normandy.”

Garrus let out a laugh despite himself. “I don’t think that’ll work, Tali.”

“You don’t know that.  You haven’t heard my engine noises.”  She laughed along with him for a few seconds, then grew quiet once again and gave him a gentle pat on the back. “The Alliance is going to feel very silly when Shepard gets back and they have to explain why they hung her name up on the wall and sold her hamster.”

“ If she makes it back this time.”

“She will,” Tali asserted, voice cracking, “She has to.”

It was Javik who entered next, voice booming in a debate with Liara, who had taken it upon herself to explain human customs for memorializing the dead. He shook his head and ignored her entirely, stating that if he wished for a history lesson, he would ask for one.  He then snapped his many-eyed gaze to Garrus.

“You should not be saddened about Shepard’s fate, Garrus.  She died with great honor.”

Liara let out an exasperated sigh, and sat down in one of the empty seats at the next table over, bringing her hand to her face.

“What is it, asari?” Javik snapped, “Honor in death is something turians hold in high regard, is it not? This should be a great comfort to him.”

“Perhaps with time,” Liara explained,”But right now it is… insensitive.”

“It’s nothing my dad hasn’t already told me a dozen times,” Garrus stated flatly, “I appreciate the sentiment.”

Weird that a fifty-thousand year-old Prothean reminded him of his dad.  Then again, Castis Vakarian was as about as traditional as turians came, and they butted heads on almost every subject, including but not limited to: Garrus’ disregard for rules, his decision to leave C-Sec—twice, his “risk- and attention-seeking” behavior, and his “absurd infatuation with a human woman”. Their relationship had always been strained, to say the least. Still, he had always been there when Garrus needed him, and listened when it mattered. He was the first call Garrus made from the medbay after the Reapers were destroyed, when he realized Shepard might not be coming back.

He’d been sympathetic, but not even remotely comforting, not unlike Javik was at present. Garrus just didn’t have it in him to explain to either how little he cared about the honorable nature of her sacrifice, the high esteem the galaxy now held her in, or the way history would remember her. None of that mattered when she wasn’t at his side.  How could he be proud, when all he felt was empty?

Once all parties arrived and settled in, the group spent time talking and sharing memories. The Alliance crew members all told stories about encounters with Admiral Anderson, how he more often felt like a parent than a commanding officer, and how his reputation was so much larger than his ego. Traynor did most of the talking about EDI, their friendship, and how seamlessly she’d fit into the crew, how easy it had been to forget she was an AI. Joker just pulled the bill of his cap down to cover his eyes.  Then, the reminiscence moved to the commander.

Every single person present had a story about Shepard, about how she went above and beyond the call of duty to help them, and to make sure they were taken care of while aboard the Normandy.  Shepard had always taken time to check in with the people who worked for her, even when the galaxy was falling apart and herself along with it.  She was a good leader, arguably the best, and an even better friend.  It was clear that everyone in the room admired her, and that she was missed.

Garrus knew he should say something, tell one of the many stories of the trouble he and Shepard had gotten into together. The others all watched him expectantly as he scrambled for words.

“I—“ he began, but was interrupted by the buzzing of his omni-tool, followed by several bright flashes of light. He cursed and pulled up the interface to silence the damn thing.  An urgent message alert flashed on his screen, and he tapped the icon to open it.

From: Dr. Chloe Michel

Subject: Jane Doe

Dear Garrus,

I hope this email reaches you, and that you are still alive to read it.  I am on the Citadel working with an emergency medical unit out of what is left of  Huerta Memorial. The blast from the Crucible caused some severe structural damage near the epicenter, and we have been searching the area to find and identify survivors and remains.

There is a Jane Doe here, who I believe you might know. Please contact me on a private channel whenever you are able.

Take Care,

Chloe

His heart sank like lead into his gut as he read what could only be a request to come in and identify a corpse.  The space around him was suddenly too full, too loud, and the curious eyes of his companions lingered on him for far longer than comfortable. He tapped the display on his omni-tool once again to close it, glancing around the room from one set of eyes to another.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. The truth would only cause unnecessary alarm he wasn’t equipped to handle at the moment.  He stood abruptly, a jolt of pain coursing through his leg that was still recovering from a fracture, and excused himself. “Just need to make a quick call.”

“Now,” Liara asked, frowning, “But the memorial ceremony was just about to begin.”

“So start without me,” he snapped and made his way to the main battery.  He’d apologize later, when his world wasn’t caving in.

The battery doors shut behind him with a familiar hiss and he sank down into his seat next to the workbench where his favorite rifle lay surrounded by tools and unused thermal clips. It had taken a beating in the battle on Earth, and Garrus had poured over repairing it in the days following its end.  He hadn’t touched it since.  There were no more enemies to fight, and the gun just reminded him of Shepard.

Bringing up his omni-tool once again, Garrus established a link using the information Michel provided him.  He only waited a second or two before a voice on the other end picked up.

“Garrus,” exclaimed the woman, “I am so glad you received my message.”

“About that Jane Doe,” he began, cutting straight to the chase, “I— do you need me to identify the b— her ?”

“No… it is Commander Shepard,” she explained, “I am absolutely certain.”

“ Oh, ” Garrus said with the breath he’d been holding.  He was glad he was already sitting down, as the last shreds of hope he’d been clinging to slipped from his grasp leaving him dizzy and sick.  It was Shepard.  She was dead. There was nothing to be done about it.

He took a minute to collect himself and his thoughts, cleared his throat and told the doctor, “I, uh…I’m not really sure how to— I mean, I guess I should make funeral arrangements. That’d be better than letting the Alliance—“

“Garrus,” Michel interjected firmly, “She’s alive.”

“ What,” he asked, more loudly than he’d intended.  Hoping nobody had overheard outside, he lowered his voice and continued, “I mean, how is she? What’s her condition? Is she going to—”

“I won’t lie to you,” the doctor interrupted again, “Her injuries are serious, and she has been comatose since we found her.  Still, her vitals are strong and stable at present. She is a fighter.”

“She is.”

The line was silent for a beat then Michel spoke up again.  “I had a wonder… Shepard’s body has, ehm… extensive cybernetic modification. More extensive than I have seen. We are not certain how, or if it is even possible to repair all of the damage.”

One name came immediately to mind. “Miranda Lawson.”

“Pardon?”

“You need to contact Miranda Lawson,” Garrus clarified,  “She is an ex-Cerberus operative, the scientist responsible for Shepard’s upgrades. And a friend. She will be able to help. I can send you her contact information.”

“Good, yes. I will contact her immediately,” Michel replied, relief noticeable in her voice. She then sighed and said, “I apologize for sending such a vague email.  I am realizing now that it was likely… anxiety provoking. I simply did not wish for the wrong people to find out about Shepard’s survival.”

Garrus huffed, “Yeah, if the media caught wind of this, it’d be a circus.”

“That is what I feared,” she agreed with a sigh, “Besides, I thought you should be the first to see her. I know she is important to you.”

“Thank you, doc. For everything.”

“It is the very least I can do.  I owe my life to the both of you. Twice over, now it would seem:”

“I’ll get to the Citadel as soon as I can.”

“Talk to you then.”

The call ended with a beep and Garrus shut off his omni-tool display, staring blankly at the wall on the opposite side of the room for several minutes, attempting to recover from the emotional whiplash the last half hour had given him.  He took a deep breath, rose to his feet, and headed back out to the mess hall.

All eyes turned to him as he made his way toward the memorial wall just outside the elevator.  EDI’s and Anderson’s names had already been placed, tears already shed. Now they looked to Garrus, Cortez approaching with the name plaque meant to commemorate Shepard’s death. He took the polished silver plate and examined it, light glinting off its corners as he stepped up to the wall.  For a long moment he traced the letters of a name that had come to mean so much to him, to those crowded in the narrow hallway around him, to the hundreds of thousands who’d cheered from ships in the massive fleet she’d rallied and led to victory, and to the billions of lives she’d saved across the galaxy.  Shepard deserved so much more than a name on a wall.

And now, just maybe, she could have it.

Garrus would have preferred to keep  Shepard’s survival to himself, to snag her from the hospital and elope to some secluded tropical paradise where nobody could ask anything of either of them again, except “Would you like a refill on that incredibly alcoholic beverage?” But he knew he couldn’t do that.  After all, he was not the only one who loved her.

Lowering the plaque, he turned to face the others, all of whom looked at him with a mix of confusion and concern.  He glanced down at Shepard’s name again, mandibles flaring out reflexively as relief and excitement swelled in his chest.

“They found her.  They found Shepard,” he told them, bringing his eyes to meet their gazes as he spoke. “She’s alive.”

[the-black-birb]

Ohhhh I seen angst, 20 for Kuroo plez?🥺👉👈

A/N: So this is my first request ever??? Kind of a big deal for me so thanks so much! I hope you enjoy!!

Summary: You want to do what is right. Kuroo doesn’t know what he wants.

Pairing: Kuroo x Reader

Prompt: “I’m done. We’re done.”

Genre: Angst

Kuroo Testurou was in love.

He was in love with volleyball. His eyes lit up whenever he watched games on TV. His muscles flexed, and his arms twitched as he replayed his games from high school. You could see the wheels in his mind turning, wondering what he would do.

He was in love with the beach and the feeling of sand between his toes. He could spend hours lounging under the hot sun, letting the waves lapping at his feet wash away his worries the same way they washed away the sand. You loved watching his back relax, all of the tension and worry leaving his body. He looked so at peace.

Even when it was difficult, he was in love with chemistry, too. He was in love with chemistry when he had a double lab period and he came home exhausted, and when he failed an exam. You were sure of this, because even when he was tired, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you about what he’d done in class. You didn’t really understand what he was saying, but you understood he chose a major he was passionate about and you loved seeing him fall in love with his work.

Yes, Kuroo Tetsurou was certainly in love. He was in love with a great block in a game, or the way his hair got a little dry after it was doused in salt water, or the time he pulled an all nighter trying to memorize formulas. He was in love.

Just not with you.

You expected the realization to hit like a ton of bricks. A sharp pain, sure, but you’d learn to move on from it.

Instead, it was slow. You’d saturated yourself with him. He was everywhere, in every text and conversation, every class, every daydream. You’d spent so long in love with him, waiting for you to see him, you’d never thought about what would happen if he didn’t.

You went to see a movie with friends. He was between you and another girl and you thought maybe tonight would be the night he realized you were madly in love with him. Maybe, he’d finally appreciate that you stuck with him through high school and college. Maybe, he’d turn to you right at the climax of the movie and plant a warm kiss on your lips. You were sure he’d taste like cherry, like the lip balm he always used.

Instead, he left the movie hand in hand with the girl to your left. She was a sophomore, you two were juniors. She was cuter than you, and her hair was longer, and in her you saw everything you were not.

Kuroo walked you home, because he always did, and wouldn’t stop talking about her. “She’s just…” You’d never made him lost for words. “She listens when I speak. She sees me.” You smiled at him. “Did you know she’s seen all the Alien movies? No girls like those moves!” No girls except for you, who binged it one weekend. With Kuroo.

“This is my stop, Tetsu,” you told him, like you always did. He was so busy talking to about her, he didn’t even realize. 

“Whoops,” he chuckled, and pulled you in for a tight hug. Like always.

You wrapped you arms around his neck, and his fell to your waist. Although he stopped playing volleyball in college, Kuroo’s arms remained muscular and his hugs always made you feel secure. He was home.

When you pulled back, his features softened. It was a silent victory. You were the only one who got to see him like this, with his guard down and his feelings bare. “Thank you for coming with us tonight,” he conceded. “I know it was a little weird because you’re not really friends with her friends, but I appreciate.” His arms were still around your waist. You smiled weakly.

“You know me, if you need something, I’ll be there.” You pulled away from his embrace.

The truth of your words made your heart hurt.

He bid you goodnight, and you were left alone in your apartment. You went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Nope. You thought, seeing your familiar frame. Still not invisible.

You’d been through this before with Kuroo. He got in and out of relationships like cats got out of the house. But something resounded in your heart told you that this was different. This had you looking in your mirror, picking at your stomach and face, wondering what you needed to be to get him to look at you like he looked at her.

But you wanted him to be happy. And clearly for that to happen, you couldn’t be in the equation.

You tried to grow apart from him, truly. But he was everywhere. He was in the sweatshirt he left at your apartment and the margins of your notes. He was in breakfast “dates” (but as friends) and every rom-com, except now you weren’t the girl holding his hand.

Like a sweet poison, you just couldn’t get away from him. He was your own personal drug. The highs you got from him were wonderful, but damn did the lows hurt. You were a moth drawn to a flame.

Still, you really did spend less time around him. He was busy going on dates and visiting his girlfriend. You were busy nursing a broken heart, that hadn’t even had the chance to be whole. But every text from him brought you back down to Earth. Every smile he sent your way when you saw him dragged you back down.

You were done being hopeful. If he was happy with her, you were better off staying out of the way. It was enough to listen to him, and to see him smile. It was enough to be around him, even if you weren’t with him.

Besides, his friends were your friends, too. You weren’t alone without him, just lonely. You found other people to study with, and to get breakfast with. You made new inside jokes and moved on. You moved on.

Then, there was a knock at your door.It was late, but you’d been up watching shark week. You lazily stood, hot chocolate in hand and blanket wrapped around your body, and dragged yourself to the door. Half asleep and entirely apathetic, you didn’t look to see who was outside before you opened.

And there was Kuroo, breathing heavy and drenched.

“Tetsu?” you froze. It felt like your heart stopped beating. Swallowing your hesitation, you reminded yourself that he was your best friend first and that your feelings had faded. “Your soaked! Come inside, I’ll grab a towel.” You pulled on his wrist, bringing him to your couch and running off.

You came back with a towel and his sweatshirt so he could warm up. He looked at your like he was a ghost.

You’d seen Kuroo Testurou through thick and thin. You saw when he was rejected by his dream college, and when he finally graduated from Nekoma. You saw him win and lose countless volleyball games. You saw him through heartbreak after heartbreak. You watched him fall in love with everyone but you.

Yet, you’d never seen him like this. Maybe you had, but his eyes were never directed at you. Between the two of you, there was always clarity. He could be a thousand miles away, but one phone call and it was like he was standing beside you.

Right now, there were worlds between the two of you. You could grab his hand, but you wouldn’t feel his pulse. Hesitantly, you sat in front of him. You opened your mouth to speak, perhaps to ask if he was alright, but he cut you off.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Your whole body felt like it was on fire.

“You’re what?”

Truly, you didn’t intend on saying it like that. Your voice was like venom. Love? Now? Your words pierced Kuroo’s heart with the reality that in love is the worst thing he could be.

“You have a girlfriend, Tetsu,” you reminded him, hands squeezing the blanket around your shoulders. He reached out to hold you, but you pulled away. Not now, you pleaded. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes.

“I know,” he responded. “I’m sorry, I know.” Your heart beat against your chest, threatening to burst through your lungs. You couldn’t breathe.

You wanted nothing more than to hold him. To tell him you loved him to, and you always had. You wanted to be in his arms, but this time as more than his best friend. You wanted to know what it felt like to have his cherry lips against yours. But not like this.

“She told me she loved me,” he admitted, head hanging to his chest. You couldn’t see his eyes, and he couldn’t see the way you stared at him like he was your whole world. “No one’s ever said that to me. Not like that.” You knew. If someone had said it to him, you’d be the first to know. You knew all his firsts.

“I wanted to tell her I loved her back. But all I could think of was you.”

You sighed.

You knew Kuroo Tetsurou for a long. He was the captain of Nekoma’s volleyball team, and that gave him skills he still used in college. He could see through people down to all their nuts and bolts, to find what made them tick. He was smarter than he let on, and he worked hard, still. Somedays, it felt like he was always two steps ahead of everyone else. But tonight, he was human, too. Although your heart begged to give him mercy, your mind spoke through.

This isn’t right.

“I was in love with you for years,” you told him honestly, holding his hand. He looked up at you. Were you crying?

“I spent so much time waiting for you.” His grip on your hand tightened. He knew. There were too many stolen glances. There were too many long hugs. There was no way he didn’t know. “But even I got tired of waiting. You missed your chance.”

“I’m done, Tetsurou.”

You let go of his hand.

“Whatever this was between us…” You thought about all the movie nights. All the study dates, and the breakfasts together. You thought about the time he let you wear his jacket, and then you never gave it back because he didn’t mind. You thought about holding his hand in crowded places. You thought about how he was always your number one, even when you weren’t always his.

“We’re done.”

[whittakerjodie]

Safety (13th Doctor X Reader)

Requested by @supermegapauselouca​ , prompts 59 and 63 from the prompt list

Words: 1.7k 

Authors Note: Hi love, I chose one of your requests as I’m quite busy with the holidays and didn’t want to leave you waiting too long. Thank you to everyone who requested for this batch and I hope you have all enjoyed! Requests will open back up after the special 

also, more angst than 13 but she comforts at least! Sorry about that haha. 

Warnings: Violence, near-death experience, ANGST 

Your heart pounded in the same rhythm as your feet as you sprinted across the pavement. Running was something you’d become accustomed to, travelling on the TARDIS, but this time was different. This wasn’t your usual ‘Run-for-your-life’ scenario. Usually during those you had better chances. Not this time. The sycorax warrior was hot on your tail, far too close for your liking. It would take a miracle to create enough distance to not be as terrified as you were. Several times it lunged for you and you could feel its fingers briefly make contact.

Your own fingers were clenched around a flashdrive, which needed to be inserted into the ship's mainframe to cause a power outage strong enough to shut everything down. It was quite odd technology for the Sycorax, but you were sure the Doctor was defeating whatever other aliens they had teamed up with this time around. She was the one meant to take care of the flash drive business. However, during the chase and all the confusion and panic that came with it, the flash drive had ended up passed around from companion to companion, until the it and the responsibility accompanying it, rested in your hands.

The mainframe was right up ahead, only a few steps- You shoved the flash drive into the socket as soon as you could, nearly knocking yourself out from the impact against the wall. The sycorax warrior decided to take matters into their own hands, tugging at your shoulder and throwing you to the ground. You yelped, trying to kick them away. It didn’t seem to do much; their alien form towered over you, arms poised for the kill. In that moment, you were nothing but prey, without protection, without chance, without hope.

Then the lights went out.

Before you could even register the darkness in your mind, which screamed for you to move, connected with the rest of yourself and you rolled out from underneath the Sycorax. It’s fists collided with the floor, causing it to hiss in pain. While you processed this you continued to urge your body to move faster, but everything was dark. Your hands seemed to slip against the wall, your balance wobbly, unable to find your way to safety. The only thing keeping you going was the idea that there was some mysterious combination you could work your way towards solving that would save your life.

After several minutes of fumbling, you could hear a familiar voice: the Doctor. She was shouting, directing the other companions. It seemed to be getting closer- she was looking for you. The Sycorax was as well, but they too were restricted by the darkness you’d entombed yourself in.

“Y/N!” you heard Yaz shout. Knowing you couldn’t respond without alerting your foe, you did your best to work your way towards her. The Sycorax would follow, you knew, but you were mainly hoping that it would be too late for them to do anything by that point.

Suddenly, it felt like hands were on you. Instinctively you shrieked, jumping back, but more arms caught you. It was your friends.

“Shh, it’s us” Ryan whispered. “That was crazy, what you did, yeah? Totally amazing…”

His voice trailed off in your mind as you felt another pair of arms, this time supporting your wait by shifting it onto her shoulder. The Doctor’s scent filled your nose, and you breathed it in for comfort. Everything seemed much too fluid, the adrenaline that kept you going beginning to crash now that you were in safe hands. Despite the comfort though, it felt wrong. But why? As your friends dragged you off back to the TARDIS, your mind began to recap everything that had just taken place, making notes and critiques- and some uncomfortable realizations.

It had been hours since you’d buried yourself underneath the blankets of your large bed on the TARDIS. There seemed to be more of them- and pillows, too. Almost as if the time machine could sense every branch of distress you seemed to be growing and was determined to cut them off at the root. While she didn’t succeed in doing it, it helped a little to have such a comfortable environment to return to. The air seemed too cold, so you pulled one of the blankets over your head, submerging yourself in darkness.

Suddenly, you were back there. Reaching into the black, trying to make your way through to the other side before you were dragged under. You could still feel the coldness of the wall and could still hear the frustrated growls of the sycorax as they tried to capture you in their claws. Despite knowing such an instance never occurred, you could feel the sycorax succeeding, pulling you backwards and-

You shot up in bed, throwing the blankets off to avoid the scene you’d conjured. That never happened, you asserted. You got away, you saved the day, you’re on the TARDIS, in bed safe and sound. Yet, as you told yourself these things, you couldn’t properly grasp onto the relief and happiness you sought to provide with them. Why not? You saved the day. But at the same time, you’d come within an inch of not doing so.

Mind still in turmoil over the battling emotions, you climbed out of the safety of your bedroom. Perhaps the TARDIS would have more surprises in store for you as you explored. It wasn’t exactly exploring, though. You were searching for someone, which presented another dilemma. You imagined that finding the Doctor to talk to was the best option, as she experienced these near-death situations far more often than any of you. However, one of the other companions seemed like a nice option, too. They were human. Frequent near-death situations or not, they knew what the finality of them actually felt like.

When you reached Yaz’s room, though, you found that she was fast asleep. Knowing Ryan and Graham likely were as well, you sought out your favorite timelord. It wasn’t hard to tell if she was awake or not; you could hear the various clanging and thuds from her activities through the walls. Chuckling a little at the odd noises, you became fully aware of just how heavy your shoulders felt. Even raising your hand to knock on the Doctor’s door hurt.

She answered promptly, grinning. You spotted a multitude of tools and odd metal shapes and pieces all across the room when you cast your eyes downward.

“Y/N! How are you feeling?” She asked, posture shrinking slightly to your level.

“Uh..” Your voice trailed off, blocked by the lump in your throat. Another sign of tension and upset that you hadn't realized in your search for the timelord. It was soon joined by a puddle of tears that began to pool in the corner of both of your eyes. Before any of them could fall, the Doctor’s arms wrapped around you.

Moments later, when she had found you a comfortable spot on the edge of her bed, she asked: “What’s wrong? Is it about what happened today?”

You nodded, inhaling shakily. After wiping your tears away, you managed “I know everything turned out alright, but I can’t help but think about how close I was to... well, not having everything go alright. Now it’s like all I can think about is that possibility, of me failing, and that’s making me think of every other time I came close to-”

“Here, slow down a bit,” The Doctor encouraged. Her hand rubbed your back in comforting circles. You leaned into the touch, and into her, nodding and working on keeping your breathing in check.

“ It’s hard to explain… I’m safe here with you. Everything went okay and everyone’s safe. I know I should be happy…I did well…I always do well…so why can’t I believe in myself?”

The Doctor thought for a moment, considering your words and feelings with great care. You imagined she had to deal with issues like these often, considering how many companions she took on great adventures. But the way she looked at you, you knew there was no repetition or normalcy involved. She was treating your case as if it were its own unique event, working with words that she knew would mean the most to you especially.

She moved from your side onto the floor, kneeling in front of you so she could properly look into your eyes. It felt nice to not have to lift your head to embrace her. You didn’t imagine you could handle the weight of it all.

“I want you to be proud of yourself. I want you to believe that you’re good enough because you are. You’re so amazing.” She stressed, her hand moving upward to rest against your cheek. If you couldn’t handle the weight, she would take some of it on for you. “We can’t help or avoid those risks and what-ifs that come up when we run like we do. What we can do, though, is tackle what happens after they appear.”

As she continued to talk, she stood from her spot on the floor. Giving you a plethora of tips and good wishes for your recovery from the day's events, she would occasionally pause to squeeze your hand. Then, she began working on the bed behind you. Eventually you turned, curious. The TARDIS had supplied extra pillows and blankets again, all of them lightweight to ensure that you wouldn’t feel trapped.

The Doctor, noticing you were watching, smiled softly. She patted the pillow next to her and you crawled up the mattress, joining her. She pulled you into her arms, wrapping several blankets around you. You surrendered to the warmth.

This time, the darkness was not a frightening what-if but a comforting certainty. There was safety in the Doctor’s arms. Before you allowed yourself to stop running from the darkness, you felt a warm kiss against your forehead to send you off. 

[jusvibbbin]

Act like a Human

Phlox x Reader

//For my friend yet again @the-sleepy-sheep​

//Read her work @starfleet-jelly

Life on the Enterprise was often full of excitement and adventure. But even out in the final frontier, there were mellow days. On one such day, you were heading towards sick bay to visit your resident Denobulan. It had been a few days since you had seen him, and from what you heard he’d barely left his work space. You often assisted with his animals, being the xenobiologist you were but he hadn’t called to see you in quite some time. Your curiosity was beyond peaked as you got closer to sickbay.

The doors swished open when you pressed the button, and the sound of waltz music drifted out into the corridor. You looked around and not seeing the doctor, you walked behind the wall built in the middle of the room. The music was coming from the console on the counter and as you rounded the corner, you were greeted with a spectacular sight.

The renowned Doctor Phlox was dancing. It looked like a traditional waltz, only he was completely alone. You only had a few seconds before he turned to face you and hastily shut off the music. You stifled your chuckle with a cough and walked back around the wall. After a moment Phlox appeared, looking more than a little embarrassed.

“Ahem, (Y/N), I would appreciate your utmost discretion with what you just saw,” Phlox said quickly.

You smiled at him saying, “Of course, doc. But why were you dancing?”

His eyes refused to meet yours as his hands fidgeted awkwardly. You waved your hand and started to walk out.

“That’s alright. I don’t want to pry into… whatever it is you’re doing.” You pressed the button to open the door and strolled out. This was far from over.

--

A couple days later you saw Phlox sitting with Hoshi in the mess hall. You grabbed your tray and took a seat at their table. Hoshi continued their conversation, barely giving you a wave as she prattled on about something. 

But the doctor looked immediately uncomfortable with your presence and started to eat faster so he could leave. There was a small pause in talking so you jumped in.

“Doctor, I would love to hear more about your experiment,” you said, a smirk on your face. Phlox’s eyes went wide and he was about to say something when the Captain’s voice interjected from above.

“All senior staff to the bridge.”

You heard Phlox mumble, “Saved by the bell,” and he and Hoshi took their leave. As they walked away, and you started to eat, you heard Hoshi question the doctor on his experiment. He shot a look back at you before they disappeared into the corridor.

--

You had messed with the doctor before. He was easy to joke around with and was often carefree when they were sometimes at his expense. But this time he really did seem offended when you poked fun at him. You felt bad.

So to make up for it, you snuck into the kitchen and made him one of your favorites: Tres Leches. It took about two hours but your hard work paid off. It looked delicious. You had finished pretty late but you knew Phlox would be up. 

You carefully walked to sickbay, thankful there were less people to run into than normal.

You walked into the mostly darkened room, the only light coming from a few of Phlox’s pet cages. You set the dessert on a table and looked around for the doctor. After a moment, he came out from where his private quarters were, jumping slightly when he saw you.

“(Y/N)! You scared me,” he chuckled as he walked over. His eyes fell on the Tres Leches and he looked at you confused.

You rubbed your arm and avoided his gaze.

“I just wanted to apologize for, sort of, bringing up what I saw the other day. I didn’t realize how important it was to you so I’m sorry.”

Phlox looked surprised and you felt more and more embarrassed.

“Well, enjoy!” you said, quickly turning and walking to the door.

You were halfway out when Phlox called to you.

“Wait, maybe you can help me with my… experiment.”

You turned back to him and he gave you a slightly more relaxed smile. You walked back over to him and he handed you a PADD with a list on it. You read it, occasionally looking up at him with confusion.

“What’s this for Phlox?”

He smiled sheepishly. “I’ve noticed that the crew here seem to be much more comfortable with my presence than some of my colleagues in San Francisco. I figured it would be good to learn some more human activities, customs and history.”

“And you want my help to check off this list?” you asked, smiling at some of the things he had written.

“If you wouldn’t mind. Some of them are a bit difficult to do alone,” he said, a small blush appearing on his face. At least it looked like he was blushing, you couldn’t be sure with alien physiology.

“I’d love to! What’s first?”

--

The next few days your off-duty hours were spent with the ship’s doctor. You cooked some authentic earth foods (pasta, burgers, pizza, you name it!) in your quarters, occasionally swiping from the kitchen. Once each meal was cooked, you watched some classic earth cinema. While Trip’s movie nights were fun, he didn’t really deviate from movies he enjoyed. So you compiled a list of movies that were beloved at the time of their release. Everything from the Matrix to Snow White, and Phlox liked almost all of them.

But the most fun you had was when you spent an evening trying on earth clothes from other eras. The 40s suits, the 70s hot pants, and the 90s denim on denim; all of it looked ridiculous on the hanger and on the two of you. The amount of laughter that echoed through your quarters was immeasurable.

You showed Phlox lots of weird earth sports and the odd things humans did in greeting, passing or in celebration. He found the high-five to be particularly strange, but by the end of the night you two had a secret handshake.

The list had gotten incredibly small and you soon found yourselves back to what started your odd little hangouts.

Dancing.

Phlox had told you that while the Denobulans had many lovers and were a tight-knit race, they did not usually show appreciation for one another with physical affection. The idea of dancing was completely foreign to him.

“Dancing is just, dancing,” you said. “I don’t know how else to think of it! You just kind of feel the music, you know?”

He looked at you, quite puzzled.

“I’ll show you,” you exclaimed as you looked through the computer to find a playlist of yours. Once you found a song with a fast enough beat, you began to dance. You weren’t good or bad, more so focused on the feel of it than the technicality. Phlox simply watched in fascination as you bumped along to the music.

When the song started to change to another one you said, “Try it!”

He looked a bit uncomfortable but he moved over to the open space you had made in sickbay and attempted to copy you. You laughed and he soon joined you, realizing how silly you both looked. After a couple songs you were both exhausted from dancing and laughing at one another.

The song changed once again, to something slower and softer. A waltz. You looked over at the Denobulan and smiled, offering your hand.

“How would you like to try it with a partner?”

You were surprised when he grabbed your hand and quickly pulled you flush against him, positioning both your hands to make the frame. He seemed to shock himself as well since he paused after doing so, looking at you, searching for some kind of objection. He found none.

Gently you both began to sway to the music, eyes never leaving each other. 

His box step was pretty good from all that practice and he was amused every time you stepped on his feet. The song ended all too quickly, but neither of you let go.

You put your hands on his chest and leaned your head against his neck. Phlox ran a hand gently up and down your back. His other hand came up to lift your chin.

“May I?” he asked gently.

You nodded and he quickly captured your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. After a moment he pulled away and you looked up at him, smiling. You touched his cheek softly, and he smiled at you.

“This is my favorite human custom,” he said as he kissed you again.

Tag List: @elen-aranel​ @livenerdyandprosper​

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Hidden Secrets

I am finally back!  Sorry for the long delay without stories, but my life’s been rather hectic lately.  I have hopefully compensated with a very interesting storyline I’ve wanted to write for a while now.  Everyone has their secrets, and sometimes if they are revealed, things can come to a head...

“They say the only way to actually understand people is to see things through their eyes.  It won’t matter if they’re dead, though.”  -Thomas Drake

“What’s so wrong with loving an alien?  What is so wrong with loving someone, caring for them, being with them forever, so long as both parties are sentient?  Is it really such a bad thing?”  -Admiral Adam Vir, in a speech to the Galactic Assembly on xenophilia

“In all my travels to thousands of worlds, I have actually never met a xenophiliac.  I have, in fact, seen more Chaos cultists than xenophiles.  However, I can tell you this.  Xenophilia is a crime of unimaginable proportions.  It is almost as bad as selling your soul to the Dark Gods themselves.  It is something that no one, of any species, save perhaps the most absolute perverse of the Drukhari would even think of.  Even then, said Drukhari would most likely be spurned by their fellows.  It is a crime of such monstrosity that death is far too fair a fate for its perpetrators.”  -Inquisitor Amberly Vail of the Ordo Xenos

Aboard the Omen

Three figures sat around a table.  All were relaxed, slightly slouching in their seats.  The lights were not the uncomfortable brightness of the medical bays or halls, nor the dim-lit spaces of the engine rooms or hidden maintenance gantries.  It was a comfortable, cozy light, illuminating the fake wood of the table and the three that sat around it.  

“How the hell did we get on this topic of conversation?” asked Admiral Vir, his face swirling a myriad of colors: the green of his eyes, blond of his hair, black of his eyepatch, and currently, red of his face.  

“I’m not precisely sure,” drawled Commander Shepard, “But I believe it has something to do with our good comrade Quill over there complementing extra-terrestrial hips.”  

“Hey!  There is nothing wrong with pointing out that your chief engineer, despite wearing a face mask and enviro-suit all the time, is pretty hot.  Perfect, well-rounded figure,” replied Quill, grinning and adjusting his long, red-brown greatcoat.  “Though, it’s just an observation.  I’m already taken.  By an alien with just as good, if not better, hips.”  Vir buried his face in his hands, and Shepard just sighed.  “What I don’t get, though,” he continued, “Is why the hell Vir here is attracted to Sunny?  Listen, Gamora and Tali are hot.  They have ass.”  At this, Shepard groaned loudly and joined Vir with his head in his hands.  “I don’t get why you’re attracted to an eight foot tall, four armed, beaked, carapaced alien.  Unless you’re into some pretty… interesting… things.”  Vir looked over to Shepard.

“This is how this conversation’s going to go, isn’t it?” he said.  Shepard simply nodded.  

“Yeah,” he replied.  

“I mean, no judgement if you are,” continued Quill.  “I’ve done it with aliens a lot weirder than Drev.  If you’re into that sort of thing… whatever thing a Drev is, that’s fine.”  Vir simply sighed again.

“Jesus, Quill.”  He looked around, staring at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to his companions.  “Alright.  Fine.”  He cracked his neck.  “You know what?  You want me to ‘fess up, I will.  I…”  He trailed off for a moment, working his jaw and wringing his hands before letting out a breath.  “I… like…”  He noticed the expectant looks of the other two at the table.  “Okay, fine, love… Sunny.”  He threw up his hands, face an even deeper shade of red, if at all possible.  “There.  Said it.  Please kill me.”  

“Well.  No offense Adam, but I wasn’t expecting you to start off with that,” replied Shepard.  

“Neither did I,” murmured Adam.  He looked over to Quill once more.  “It’s not that I like Drev.  It’s just that I like… her.  I…  She… Well…”

“C’mon Adam.  Spit it out.”  Vir sighed again.

“I love her.  No matter who or what she may be.  Not because she’s an alien.  Everything about her being… her.  If that makes sense,” he finished lamely.  Shepard and Quill, though, both nodded along sagely.  

“Yeah.  It does,” replied Shepard quietly.  “I… feel the same way.  In a way.”  He laughed.  “I guess tonight none of us are going to have a way with words.”  He let out a large sigh, and his eyes went distant, seeing things that existed a thousand miles away.  “I… think I do love Tali.  I think I do… but I haven’t even told her.”  He gave another laugh, this one much more bitter.  “I’m telling this all to you, but I haven’t even told her.  I… just… I don’t want to hurt her.”  He looked at his own scarred hands miserably.  “I’m a Spectre, and I’m running the most dangerous mission in the galaxy, on an unauthorized ship, and I just… don’t want anyone to hurt her.  And I don’t want to hurt her.  So I haven’t said anything,” he finished.  

“Yeah,” replied Quill, much more soberly than his teasing before.  “I know how you both feel.  I was a bit of a playboy for a while,” he grinned.  His expression became serious once more.  “But, after I met Gamora, and… was in a world without her, for a bit, I finally understood.  What it meant.  To actually love someone.”  He gave his cocky smile once again.  “Despite, you know, her being a super-assassin who can and has kicked my ass on multiple occasions.”  Both Vir and Shepard laughed.  

“You know, it’s funny how just talking can make you see things differently.  Make the world seem better,” said Shepard.  He grinned at Vir.  “Thanks for inviting us over.”  Vir looked at him strangely, frowning.  

“What do you mean?  You invited us.  You said you wanted to talk, and talk on my ship.”  Shepard responded with an equally puzzled expression.  

“No, I didn’t,” he insisted.  “You invited us here.”  Quill nodded in conformation.  

“Yeah.  You invited us.”  

“No I didn’t!” shot back Vir.  

“Well if you didn’t, who did?” asked Shepard.  Their argument was broken by a new voice, filled with righteous hate and vengeance, as cold as an ice-world blizzard.  

“I did.”  Quill, Vir, and Shepard started.  They hadn’t even heard the door open.  The imposing figure of Commissar Ciaphas Cain, clad in his heavy black greatcoat, boots, and cap, swirled through the door, holding his laspistol at the ready.  Vir, being the one in most contact with Cain (Cain was stationed aboard his ship, after all), had heard stories from the Valhallan infantry about Imperial commissars.  They had all said how lucky they’d been to have Cain, as many commissars were hate-filled, imposing men and women who ruled through sheer terror.  Vir had laughed it off.  Cain was calm.  Cain was understanding.  Cain was always one to look for a solution to any problems, and prevent people from fighting.  Even when they had first met, when the Imperials, so unused to aliens, had tried to pick fights with the Omen’s crew, Cain had calmed things down.  He was the perfect officer.  

But now, Vir remembered the Valhallans’ stories.  Cain fit the description of a commissar perfectly now.  His massive height, the dark uniform, the eyes blazing with a hate that was so un-Cain like and outstretched laspistol made him a figure of nightmares from a totalitarian and xenophobic government.  Xenophobic…  Shit!  Apparently, all three men sitting at the table had the same idea at once, and made a motion to rise.  Cain tightened his grip on the laspistol, and flicked it clearly at each one of them in turn.  

“Ah, un uh.  Sit back down,” he hissed.  “Hands on the table.”  The three complied, lowering themselves back into their seats slowly.  Cain kept the gun pointed at them.  

“Cain?” asked Shepard hesitantly.  “What’s this about?”  

“I’m no fool,” replied Cain, “Though I think you believe me one.”  His gloved fingers tightened on the laspistol grip.  There was a brief pause as Cain glared at the three.

What made both Shepard and Vir such good commanding officers was their ability to read people.  They were experts at knowing what people were thinking, and how to react accordingly.  What shocked them both was the expression of pure betrayal behind Cain’s cold eyes.  That was an emotion neither of them expected.  

“I’d heard rumors, of course.  Some tabloid drama, accusing humanity's greatest heroes of xenophilia, of all things.”  Cain scoffed.  “Disgusting, I thought.  How dare they slander you so!”  Cain’s voice dropped from anger to pure fury.  “But then,” he hissed, “Then I heard more official reports.  I heard your speeches.  I saw pictures.  I heard rumors not from some disgusting two-bit reporter, but from your own crews.  I am not blind, though you might think me so.  And this?”  He waved his pistol around the room.  “You were humanity’s best.”  His voice dropped into a whisper, resonating with hurt and betrayal.  “I gave you a chance.  I thought it could not be so.  I thought that even though you served with aliens, they were subservient to you.  To humanity.  But now I have proof.  Proof of your degeneracy.  From your own mouths.  You confessed.  I gave you a chance to say otherwise, a second chance, but you… scum,” he finished, too angry for words.  He noticed their glances at the door and gave out a dark laugh.  “Oh, no.  There’s no one here to save you, traitors.  I made sure of it.”  

“So what now?” asked Shepard calmly, breaking the tension.  

“Now?” replied Cain, laspistol still pointed at the three.  “Now I kill you, as is my duty.  I lock this door, and pretend there is some urgent conference I need you for.  I tell Kasteen and Brocklaw to have Simone set a course to Watch Fortress Novus Galactica, and there the Inquisition will purge this ship, then return for the others.  There is no escape.”  Vir stood up, hands raised, fury on his face.  

“If I’m going to die I’m going to get my say.  I never did enough of that in life,” he said with a bitter laugh.  He fixed Cain with an equally furious stare, looking at the double-headed golden eagles on Cain’s cap and lapels.  Those eagles.  Those god-damned eagles.  “I’ve had enough of people like you.  I’ve had enough of trying to explain myself.  I’m not some sick fuck.  I’m not a degenerate.  I love an alien for who she is, not what she is.  And if you kill me, then you kill me,” he spat.  Cain smirked.

“So be it.”  He was interrupted by a sound.  A metallic click-click.  A sound known by every member in the room.  A sound known to almost every human and alien in existence.  A sound known by all who ever watched human movies, or fought human armies.  A sound that first came into existence in 1835 and was repeated every day, somewhere in human territory across nine galaxies ever since.  The sound of a revolver hammer being cocked.  

“Put the gun down, Commissar.”  The voice of Thomas Drake was smooth.  Unemotional, and uncaring at the drama unfolding in front of him.  His matt-black revolver, held by his dark gloves, was pointed at Cain’s head.  He was at a perfect distance, where Cain could not turn on him before being gunned down.  Vir still stood, Shepard and Quill both seated, their hands still up or on the table.  The only movement Cain made was to clench his jaw and extend his pistol arm farther.  

“Drake,” hissed Cain.  “I should have known.  You knew all their secrets.  You hid this from us!”  

“Of course,” replied Drake.  “Their actions are their own, though, and their secrets were not mine to give out.”  Cain’s hand squeezed the pistol grip even tighter, his augmetic fingers balancing it through his rage.

“I can still kill them, Drake.  I suggest you put your gun down before that happens,” he suggested, his voice tight.  Drake laughed.  

“Yes.  One.  Before I kill you.  One squeeze of the trigger I can’t prevent.  I can prevent two, though.  But you won’t.”  Drake’s voice was delighted, smiling wryly at a secret only he possessed.  “You won’t because I know you won’t.  You won’t because I know your secrets.  I read your book!  Your autobiography!” he announced with malicious triumph.  “I know how your mind works, and I know that you don’t want to die on this ship, or anywhere else, especially for the life of one measly heretic.  So you put your gun down, Commissar.”  Cain struggled for a moment, his muscles clenching and unclenching, before he finally gave a disgusted snort and tossed his laspistol on the table.  Vir, Quill, and Shepard let out breaths they didn’t know they were holding.  

“So then,” sneered Cain.  “What now, oh Captain Drake?  You have already proven you won’t kill me, and they cannot be allowed to live,” he said.  Drake merely smiled.  

“Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘To understand someone you must see the world through their eyes’?” he asked.  The other four occupants of the room nodded, unsure of where this was going.  “Well, that’s precisely what’s going to happen.  Let’s see if you’ll kill each other when you know precisely how you each operate.”  He gave a dark grin and gestured with his pistol at Vir, Shepard, and Quill.  “Now.  You three.  Put your weapons on the table,” he ordered.  The three stared at him in shock.  

“But… why?” replied Quill.  “You saved us,” he said, as if that explained his reasoning.  Drake simply laughed again.

“I like to be the only one in a room holding a weapon.  Especially in a situation as intense as this.  Now.  Guns on the table.  Vir, you aren’t carrying a weapon.  Shameful,” he drawled.  “Your pistols, Quill, and the knives I know you have in your sleeve and boot.  Your sidearm, Shepard.”  The three complied, Drake’s revolver now pointed at them as Cain scowled at the situation.  “Wonderful,” said Drake.  He took a step back, walking through the doorway, and gestured at the four men to follow him.  They complied grudgingly, still shooting death glares at each other.  Drake put a hand to the communications device in his left ear, not moving his gun arm an inch.  “Beam us up, Scotty,” he said simply.  With a whir and flash, the five disappeared from the Omen, only to suddenly see the hallways of the Enterprise around them.

“So.  Kirk and the Starfleet officers are in on this as well.  Why I am not surprised,” stated Cain, looking at his surroundings with grudging simplicity.  

“Maybe.  Maybe not,” replied Drake.  He lowered his pistol, finger coming off the trigger.  “No one’s here, either.  No help from the crew here.”  He tilted his head to a large grey door.  “In that room.”  Looking warily at his gun, trying and thinking how to take it from him all the while, the four followed Drake’s command.  The room was an empty expanse of darkness.  None of them could tell its purpose or how big it truly was.  

“What is this place?” asked Quill.  

“It's called a ‘holodeck’,” replied Drake.  “It is a room that is, essentially, a massive virtual reality.  It’s usually used for some sort of training simulation programs, but this time, I’ve made sure it can read memories.  Oh yeah,” he grinned.  “It can do that.  And that is what’s going to happen.  We are going to delve inside each of our minds, and see what makes us all tick.  Maybe if you see someone else’s entire life laid out in front of them from their point of view you’ll be less likely to kill them.”  Drake took in their apprehensive glances.  “Oh yes.  I know.  All of us have secrets.  And I’m sure none of you really trust this.  That’s why I’ll go first.  Let us begin.”

There we have it.  Cain can tolerate a lot of things, including working with aliens, but absolutely not romancing aliens.  I shall continue this story line, with all of these characters giving their own horrible memories.  As always, I own no one except Drake, and all characters belong to their original rightful owners.  If you have any criticisms, comments, concerns, questions, or requests, feel free to tell me!  

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[malneiro]

[Working on requests right now (feel free to send any if you want to, idk) in the meantime, have this! Hope you enjoy :)]

The hero grabbed the sleeve of his commanding officer. “Please sir, you don't need to do this,” he begged.

The commanding officer yanked his arm away and rounding on the hero. “Then what?” he hollered. “What do I need to do? That thing,” he jabbed a finger at the space behind the barrier where the villain was still rampaging, “Is out of control! People have already died, and no one can get it under control. I have no choice but to use the deadliest force we have. For the sake of everyone!” The officer let the deadly silence hang over the both of them. His glare didn’t subside. “So. What the hell would you have me do instead?”

“Let me try.” The commanding officer scoffed. “I know him. I can take care of this, without any more lives being lost today.”

The commanding officer gave him a skeptical look, but seeing the hero’s unyielding determination, he shook his head. “Just because you two had a ‘thing’ doesn’t mean it’ll listen to you. You’re enemies.”

“I know that. But I have to try. I’ve seen enough violence for today,” the hero said. The urgency of the situation tugged at him along with the sick nausea of knowing the finality that a mistake would bring. For whatever reason, the villain had exploded and this time, the officers had had enough. This wasn’t an issue that the hero was just given free reign to bring down like normally, the villain had gone into an unforgiving rage like none of them had ever seen and none of them could even get close without dying. 

He sighed. “Fine. You have five minutes to do your thing, and then I’m pulling you out and we’re doing it my way.”

“Thank you, sir,” he said solemnly, then turned towards the barrier. His hands were shaking, so he clenched them into fists as he walked steadily towards the barrier. As soon as he got within a few steps, the villain’s attention snapped to him with a snarl. He put his hands up. “I’m unarmed. I just want to see you.” The villain made no move to attack him, so he took that as allowance. He merely stared the hero down with the iciest expression he’d ever seen on the villain. He looked almost alien. Even from this distance, he could feel the heat that had claimed so many lives today, and the rage in his eyes that matched it. He was out of control. Fighting him was no use. It would be like fighting a rabid tiger hellbent on ripping your throat out. Normally, he could take the villain no problem, but in this state he had a feeling that the villain would keep fighting until they were both bloody heaps. 

It was only when the hero had gotten within a few metres of him that the villain finally spoke. “What is it? Come to ambush me? What stupid plan did your superiors cook up for you?” He shook his head. “They didn’t want me here. They wanted to….” He swallowed hard. “Take another path.”

The villain gave a mirthless laugh. “Ah, I see. So they’ve given up trying to take me down with honor. How flattering. And they sent you instead?” He gave the hero a disdainful look. “What do you want? Say it before I get bored of this little stunt and cut you down,” he growled.

Without lowering his hands, he took a deep breath. “I just needed to say….” He cut himself off. Only one way to put an end to this. Didn’t make it any easier. “I still love you.” 

The fury that immediately sprung up on the villain’s face could have melted anyone with less desperation. The hero could feel the heat coming off of the villain like an inferno get even hotter, but he refused to flinch away. The villain stalked towards the hero, fists clenched. “You insolent prick. You think you can dig up the past for you stupid little ploy to trap me? How thoughtless and selfish can one person be? Fuck you!” The villain raised his hand to hit the hero with an attack meant to reduce him to cinders.

The hero caught his hand and held it to his chest. The sheer volume of heat coming off of the villain made him start to sweat, and his skin feel tight and hot, but he ignored it. Out of shock, the villain stopped. “Do it. Kill me. Right here, right now. I won’t stop you. Maybe I even deserve it.”

The villain sucked in a shuddering breath. “That reckless confidence of yours is going to get you killed someday. I only pray that it’s at my hands.” He felt the blistering heat the villain was giving off diminish completely, and the hero took it as a signal he was willing to talk without evaporating him first like the others had been.

“That’s what I thought.” He let the villain’s wrist go, and the villain stepped safely out of the hero’s space. “I’m not…. I mean it. I love you. I don’t care if you even remotely return the feelings, or the very thought of it disgusts you, I really don’t.” The villain rolled his eyes. “It hurts to see you like this. This isn’t like you, we both know it.”

The villain snarled. “You know nothing about me.”

“Yes I do,” the hero insisted. “I do. I know you. I know all of you, and I know how gentle and caring you can be. This isn’t who you are, and they may not see that but I know you. You’re not like this, but I can’t make them see that. Unless you listen to me, you’re going to die today, and you don’t deserve that, and I….” He took a deep breath to steady himself. “I don’t know what I would do if I failed to stop that. I can’t watch you die.”

The villain shook his head, eyes trained on the ground. “You’re blind. There’s no way out of this for me. Just leave. Get on with your perfect life and let me be. Even if you aren’t lying, you’ll be fine.”

He scoffed in disbelief. “You really think that I’m lying to you?”

The villain arched an eyebrow at him. “Is that a real question?”

The hero looked over his shoulder. His commanding officer was standing at the barrier, looking very impatient. “I’m running out of time. What can I do to prove to you that I mean it? I swear I’ll do anything.”

“Your superiors are watching us,” the villain said through gritted teeth.

“I don’t care. And they can’t hear us anyway, what does it matter?”

“Fine,” he snapped. “I don’t know. All right? I don’t.” He frowned at the ground and fell into silence. It rang eerily familiar in the hero’s mind— he used to do that when he was trying to push down some emotion. “You hurt me. You really hurt me, you asshole.”

“I know. I regret it everyday, and I’m sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but at the very least, I’ll do whatever I can everyday until you can believe me when I say I love you, and I care about you. But I can’t do that if you’re dead,” the hero said, trying to hide how scared he was. If this didn’t work, then he had no idea what else he was going to do.

The villain fixed him with a piercing glare. “Backwards, isn’t it? You apologizing to me.” He gestured vaguely. “After everything I’ve done.”

“You’re in pain. That doesn’t mean you’re not responsible, but you’re not a monster.”

“Not because of you if that’s what you’re implying,” the villain said coldly.

“I don’t think that. I just want this to be over, and I want you safe.”

The villain glanced over the hero’s shoulder at the people waiting behind the barrier. “Fine. It’s over. What else would you have me do? If I let them arrest me, they’ll probably kill me.”

“If they arrest you, I’d protect you. It’s up to you. I trust you to know what’s best,” the hero said. It worked. Thank god.

“Hm. Interesting.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” The hero turned, and he could see from his commanding officer’s face that his time was up. “He said he’ll stop!” he yelled over to them, then turned back to the villain. “I’ll see you again.” The villain gave a short nod back, and the hero lowered his hands to his sides and started walking back. 

Just before the hero was out of earshot, the villain whispered, “I miss you.” It was so faint that the hero almost didn’t hear it, and he wasn’t sure that he was meant to, so he kept walking. Nothing else he could do with so many eyes on him. 

As he crossed the barrier again, the commanding officer clapped him on the shoulder. “Fuck, I didn’t think you would swing it, but here we are! What the hell did you say to it to get the monster to stand down?”

The hero gave him a tight smile. “I said what I had to, sir. You shouldn’t get any more trouble from him.”

The commanding officer chuckled. “Good on you. Get some cuffs on it, but be careful!” he yelled to some people behind him. “Lower the defenses, too!”

As he was watching the officers tentatively approach the barrier, he heard a great roar behind him. He whipped around just in time to see a great ball of fire. It was so bright that he had to shield his eyes, and by the time everything settled, the villain was gone. The hero fought a smile as his commanding officers started to realize what had happened and yell in rage. Another day.