#sorry for being mean abt godot i know that's probably controversial

[bronanlynch]

a million years later I’m done with aa3 and once again ranking lawyers by how much I would want to be their file clerk. there are so many lawyers in this one holy shit

phoenix: his office manager is a nineteen year old with very little management experience which is kind of a red flag. on the other hand at least he has an office manager so I wouldn’t be dealing with his nonsense alone. and he does clean the toilet without having to be nagged abt it which is the kind of thing I look for in any man that I’m going to be sharing any kind of space with for any extended length of time. 8/10, loses points because of his light caseload

mia (flashback era): I’d prob be technically working for the whole firm, not just her specifically, which means I’d at least be at an established business who knows how to set up health insurance for their employees. and she seems like she would be nice to her assistants even when she’s horrifically stressed so, and would properly appreciate how nice and neat her files are. 9/10, loses a point bc she had that big gap between cases and I’d have to deal w her coworkers

goldberg: again, love to work at a nice stable firm. he seems a bit obnoxious to deal with all the time but mostly wouldn’t speak to me except to ask me to mail letters or tell me awkward stories if we were in the kitchen at the same time which is like. tolerably annoying boss behavior. also he has a receptionist, and I love to gossip with receptionists. 7/10, talk to me abt your PTO policy and we’ll see

diego armando: I do not care for the way he talks to women and if I had to work directly with him I would request for that not to be the case pretty much immediately. no I don’t care that he and mia were dating, don’t condescendingly call your much younger female coworker “kitten.” 5/10, still might put up with him for the stable income (see above)

payne: again, I’m allergic to older men condescending to me. I mean, I’m allergic to all men condescending to me but there’s a specific flavor of rage that fills me when he calls mia “little girl” in court and I’m not working for men who would talk to me like that thank you very much. 2/10, maybe if I were really desperate

godot: being dead didn’t improve the misogyny and also my entire job would consist of getting him more coffee. I think I would snap and poison him myself. 0/10, he barely takes cases so what would even be the point

edgeworth (flashback era): god he was such a little shit (affectionate) and I would not want to be anywhere near him. absolutely the kind of smug bastard who tries to tell me I made a formatting error on the document I typed up for him and won’t listen when I try to explain that both ways are actually correct and it’s entirely a matter of taste. 3/10, no thank you

edgeworth (defense attorney era): actively having several different crises over phoenix being in the hospital and briefly following in his father’s footsteps and also probably jetlagged as hell which would not make him a great boss and probably would snap at me more than I would prefer however I would love to have a front row seat to his gay drama and honestly, being competent and fairly organized and not actively cruel or sexist goes a long way imo. unfortunately a very short term temp gig so no benefits or long-term job security. 8/10, for once I don’t have to deduct points for him being a prosecutor

franziska: has maybe chilled out a little tiny bit and grown as a person since last game. however. would still prefer not to be in danger of getting hit with a whip by my boss, and don’t love the concept of working for someone with such unforgiving standards of perfectionism. I already expect that from myself, I don’t need my boss reinforcing it. on the other hand, if she paid my travel expenses I might consider it. 5/10, still losing points for being a prosecutor and also a teenager

(aa1 | aa2)