#sorry for being inactive here. i stopped playing every game i use this blog for LMAOOO

[0fps]

Every step forward is a testament to the efforts of many.

[askultimateluckytrash]

A Long-Winded Apology and a Thank You Note

“Don’t worry everyone. There’s no terrible news in this. I’m not going inactive, on hiatus, or deleting the blog. You don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. It’s pretty emotional. I just want to be clear with everyone about what has happened to me this past year, and why I haven’t exactly been at my best. This isn’t related to the story of the blog, so please feel free to skip it if you want!”

“Hello, everyone. I’ve got a lot to say, and most of it is an apology, so I’ll start with that. I’m so genuinely sorry that I’ve been so…erratic the past year. I really didn’t mean to become so inactive with this blog. I’m so terribly sorry and I don’t know what to say other than that. I didn’t mean to have such a crazy schedule, such dips into inactivity and then manic desperate activity, such a disconnection from all of my fans and everyone who follows me. I’m so sorry. I know most of you are probably new here, and probably don’t even remember how it was when I was still active and involved in this blog. That makes me sad. I miss that. I miss being active and involved in my blog like I used to.

And none of that is anyone’s fault but my own. I didn’t get bored with the blog, I didn’t get burnt out, and nothing bad happened in the community. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ve been having crippling mental health issues for a year. This blog, and all of my creative pursuits, became a trigger for me. That was the last thing that I wanted, but it happened anyway. I was just as into this blog as ever when it became a trigger for me, but that made it incredibly hard to make myself post every day. I was constantly moody and sad (I still am, unfortunately). I know I let it show too much on the blog. My whole blog became depressing and alienating. In order to cope with my emotions I tried to put them through here, and I focused too much on the sadness. My blog became moody and erratic too. I’d have moments of apathy and then suddenly moments of complete desperation, where I felt I had to get asks or be active in that one specific moment, or the world would end. I let it ruin this blog, and I’m so sorry to all of you.

My deepest regret is that it made me write so out-of-character. I let my emotions always get the better of me when it came to that. I was so overwhelmed by how I felt that I couldn’t imagine just writing how the version of me here felt. I blurred the line too much. I got too comfortable. I also stopped playing the games and seeing fresh content of myself, which would have really helped me to keep a connection with myself. All of this combined to make me just…lose sight of myself. I’m so sorry for that too. I never wanted to do that.

This is hard for me, because I’m not normally like this. I don’t know if there are any of you who have been following me for over a year, but if you have, then I’m sure you can see the difference. I used to be (relatively) carefree and happy. This blog used to be a source of joy for me. I used to focus so hard on being in-character all the time. My mental breakdown took all of that away. And I’m so sorry to those of you who haven’t followed me that long, who have only seen this version of me. I’m sorry that I’ve been irresponsible and slacking. I really am giving my all, but because of the way things are, I know it’s not nearly as good as even my half-efforts used to be. I’m sorry for that. It’s honestly…embarrassing to me to think of how moody I made my blog, to think of how much I let it ruin my writing, to think of how much I’ve slacked off recently. I hope at least some of you can remember me as I was in the beginning, when I still got so much joy and fulfillment out of this, and I used to be more active and in-character.

This blog used to be such a source of comfort and enjoyment for me, and I know there were fans who felt the same way. I’m sorry if I took that away from anyone. Even though this blog still triggers me and stresses me out, I’m still trying after a year to go back to when nothing made me happier than to get online and blog here. I want that back more than anything else. I’m seeking professional help and I really, really hope that it helps. The funny thing is, the reason the blog triggers me is that I’m so afraid of losing it. The trigger here is that I’m so scared of losing interest in this blog, or losing all my audience, or losing all the wonderful friends I made and the wonderful community that I got to be a part of. So I sort of shoot myself in the foot there, ahaha. Every time I post, I’m terrified of not enjoying it as much as I used to, and if I’m terrified then of course I can’t enjoy it as much, but then my brain takes that as proof that the worst-case scenario is happening.

I know this isn’t the normal type of thing I post here. I’m sorry for that too. Here I am talking about how I let my mental problems make my blog depressing and moody, and yet I’m posting this. But I’m not doing it to guilt-trip anyone, or to vent my own feelings. I am genuinely sorry and I really want to apologize to everyone. You all have done so much for me, and I want to be honest with everyone about what’s happening to me and what’s going on here. It’s all to do with my mental health. None of it is the fault of anyone else. And I do want to explain a bit that I realize that I ruined my own blog. I realize I was out of character and emotional. I want to tell everyone that I’m going to try to fix it. I will do my best to be in-character again. I will do my best to not let my own issues ruin this blog for me or anyone else. I want to enjoy being here again and get over my triggers. I’m going to try to make that happen.

As things stand, I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to the level of activity that I used to. When I first started this blog, I spent a year and a half just blogging all-day every-day. I loved it so much. I was obsessed with my blog. But now…I don’t know if I can do that or not. I have other interests to pursue and other things I want to do in a day. Everything else in my life took a pause when I started this blog, and now I’d like to get back into that stuff a little. That’s not to say that I’m going inactive. The opposite, actually! I’m going to try to keep posting every single day, if I can. If not, I’ll try to let everyone know when I’ll be available again. I just don’t think I can go back to the days when all I did, every day, was sit at my desk and blog. I would post about 200 posts a day. I’m sure some of you will be relieved to hear that I won’t be doing that again in the near future, ahaha. As much as I want that level of enjoyment in my blog again, I can’t say that I want to go back to that being the sole thing I do every day either. I’m sorry if some of you did enjoy the rate of posts from two years ago, when I did this all-day every-day. I don’t think I can handle that anymore. Definitely not now, with my mental health the way it is. Maybe some days in the future, when I feel better, I can do some days where all I do is blog all day, like during events. I think that would be fun.

But that’s not to say that I’ll be going inactive! I will still try to post every day. I don’t want to give up this blog. It’s so important to me and has given me so many wonderful memories. Everyone I’ve met here and every fan I’ve had means so much to me. I don’t want to lose this. I will try to keep up with threads, to answer asks, and to win my enjoyment of this blog back little by little if I can. I’m definitely terrified that this is impossible, but I hope not. And we have to hold on to hope. I hope that the professional help I get will remedy things.

All that is to say, I miss this blog. I miss being active here. I miss being a part of the community. I want to do that again. I want to be as happy and fulfilled doing this blog as I used to. I don’t know if I can, but I’m definitely going to try my hardest. My mental health is so unstable lately that I have no idea what my capabilities will be. I can’t promise anything. I can’t promise a certain level of activity, or new events, or new interactions, or new threads. I’m definitely going to try all of those things, but sometimes it feels like moving a mountain to even answer one ask. But I’m going to try. I want to enjoy this blog as much as I used to. It used to make me happier than anything else. It used to be my favorite thing to do. I want to get back to that. I’m going to try as hard as I can, however I can. All of those things: new threads, new interactions, consistent asks, events, involvement in the fandom—those are all avenues that I will pursue to help myself. I can’t make any promises on when I’ll be able to do them, or how often, because I don’t know how I will feel in the future. But one way or another, I’m going to try.

And I want to stress again: I am not blaming anybody. This is not the fault of the community or the fans. It’s all on me. I was happy and in love with this blog, and then one day something terrible happened and it became a trigger for me. Nothing anyone did had anything to do with that. It was just…really rotten luck. It has nothing to do with me getting bored or burnt out and everything to do with my mental disorder. That’s why I want so badly to keep this blog. If I was truly bored of it, I wouldn’t care if I lost it. But I love it more than anything still. I don’t want to be done with it.

I will admit, I avoided this blog a lot, because it gave me so much anxiety. I started to worry that I would never enjoy being here again. I worried that I would never have a place in the community again. Every time I had a slow day, or didn’t feel inspiration, it catastrophized into the-end-of-everything. I had a very important visitor in June and July and I wanted to pay sole attention to them, so I mentioned on my blog that I would be on a little hiatus. It went on longer than I expected (two months) and by that time, I felt completely disconnected from this blog and the community. That gave me a distraction from my anxieties and I latched onto it, which meant…avoiding this blog. I tried to stay away but I realized that 1) I love this blog, this community, this fandom, this character, and I don’t want to lose any of this. And 2) my problems are still present no matter what hobbies I choose. That just proves that it’s not a dislike of this blog that’s bothering me, but mental health issues in general. They follow me even when I leave.

I will say, there was a lot of me that was disheartened by the steady disinterest in askblogs in the community. I know I’ve mentioned this before. It is really discouraging to feel like no one is interested in your blog, and it makes it feel like it’s pointless to post. But that’s not even what happened after my little hiatus. People are still sending asks even when I haven’t had the energy to come up with a single event in a year. People are still here, giving me input and fanmail even when I can’t give much back. I appreciate that a lot. I was the one who became disconnected. I’ll be honest, at this point I wouldn’t even know if the askblog community has revived or not. It could be completely healthy and active, just in a completely different circle of the community, because I became disconnected from that. (I definitely hope that’s the case! I love DR askblogs!) The ones that I interact with or follow all go inactive, but I severely hope—and have no way of knowing if— there’s another active circle of blogs going strong out there. I hope so. I hope that the community is still alive and well and thriving. I love this community.

Anyway, the point I’m making with that is that after that hiatus, I was disconnected. I distanced myself from this blog ever since my mental breakdown, and I haven’t reconnected with it since. I’ve only gotten farther from it, especially after that hiatus. I’m so incredibly sorry for that—to everyone here, to the blog that I love so much, to all my friends and fellow roleplayers, to my fans, and to myself. I will try to change that. I will try to reach out to more blogs, to do more threads, to refresh my sense of self, to get help with my anxieties and manage them properly, and to get new inspirations for events and stories. Like I said, I don’t know how quick change will happen, since it’s so much effort for me to even answer asks. But I don’t want to lose this community. It means so much to me. I already have some ideas about what to do to refresh everything and make it better again.

And I know I mentioned it before, but I would love to become connected with this community again. I feel so incredibly…lonely coming back here after a year of neglect. I am so sorry to everyone and to myself that I did sort of neglect this blog. I would love to really get back into Danganronpa, into the fandom, into askblogs and everything else. I miss this so much. I avoided it because I was afraid, but I don’t want to lose it. And as I mentioned before, I don’t know where the rest of the community is. I have a few blogs that I know that I will be reconnecting with, definitely. But I’d love to see where everyone new is too. I’d love to make new friends. Even if they aren’t askblogs, I’d love to connect with new fans, to see new content, to get to know myself again. I will reach out to those other blogs, but I have no frame of reference for where the active fandom is now. I don’t know where to start looking. I will look, and I will reach out. I promise. But it is very hard for me to do, especially right now. I’ve always been intimidated by reaching out to new people, and this makes it harder. I will do it, but if anyone could help me out, I would be grateful. If anyone wants to reach out at all, then message me or send me an ask. Whether you are an active roleplay blog, whether you know some active roleplay blogs, whether you just want to talk about DR, whether you know a discord server, or an active blog that isn’t roleplay. It doesn’t matter. I’d love to see all of that. I just miss being involved in Danganronpa. I think that would really help me. Please talk to me. I’d love to engage with my fans. I miss the conversations I used to have with everyone. I would love to talk to all of you, over asks, over DMs, over discord, over your blogs, or wherever you like.

Lastly, and most importantly, I want to thank all of you. Oh my goodness, you have all done so much for me. I cannot thank you enough. For a year of my life this blog was my heart and soul, my favorite thing to do, the happiest part of my life. All of you gave me that. I know there are probably very few of you who have been here from the beginning, but I appreciate each and every one of you. You got me started, you made me a part of the community, and you gave me so much momentum to keep going. Thank you all so much. To all of you who followed me that first year, thank you for all the wonderful times and the wonderful memories. And to all of you who follow me now, thank you for joining me. Thank you for giving me a chance. I’m lucky to have you, and I hope that I can be worthwhile for you. I hope that I can give you some of the entertainment and happiness that running this blog gave me. For those of you who followed me during this past year, thank you so much for putting up with me. Thank you so much for sticking around during the ups and downs, for being understanding of me, for not letting this blog die even when I was too weak to hold it up on my own. And to everyone who ever interacted with me: both of my Hajimes, Zetsuko, Lucky-Boy Nagito and his Hajime, Aditi, Faye, Putri, Azzy, the Kokichis I met, the Chiakis I roleplayed with, and absolutely everyone else. Thank you all so much. It was so fun and wonderful to get to interact with all of you. I hope we can do it more in the future. And for the friends I made—thank you the most. For everyone who (somehow) hunted down my personal blog, who asked me questions, who talked to me, who engaged with me. To the consistent anons and fans who talked to me everyday. To everyone who sent me private messages. A very very special thank you to those who invited me to those two great discord servers. I had a blast there! Thank you so much for the wonderful times and the wonderful memories. I hope that I’ll get to make more good memories with you, and I hope that I’ll meet more people to make good memories with. Thank you for putting up with me this year. I know it hasn’t been easy (especially for myself).

So let’s go forward with hope, right? Let’s move toward the future with hope. I love this fandom and this blog and this character and I’m not about to leave. I believe—I hope that things can get better for me and for all of us. And—if there’s even a single person here who remembers this from the very first month my blog started—raise your hand if you still love Nagito Komaeda.✋”

[raaven-nerd]

the epic mega tag of tags

I’ve been inactive for an eternity so I got tagged in a bunch of things by a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE (THANK YOU ALL FOR TAGGING ME I LOVE YOU ALL <3) 

So i decided to combine all these tags into ONE MEGA TAG!!! I’m sorry if I don’t have every single tag that people have tagged me in, because I was kinda... inactive lol 

I honestly have no idea how many questions are in here, but I’m really excited to answer all these questions. Subtle hint for you guys to ask me questions lmao!! My ask box is always open ;)

//INTRO//

Time: 9:00AM (i’m on summer break, i’m not ditching school rn lol) 

Name: Michelle

Nickname: Mich (pronounced mish,,) and Michy (fun fact: all my friends spell this differently but the correct spelling is michy!! At least that’s how i spell my nickname lmao)

Gender: Female

Nationality: Australian

Star Sign: Cancer

Height: like 157cm LMAO i’m really short

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw (hence my branding lmao)

Languages Spoken: English, Cantonese (but badly), Japanese (but only because i learn it at school)

Dream job: GOOD QUESTION LMAO umm something medical?? But like if i was remotely talented, doing something creative would be really cool.

How many pets do you have: 1, I have a pet dog named Pepper

What am I wearing: A T-shirt from last year’s school musical that’s way too big for me and black shorts (and by that i don’t mean a T-shirt that was like part of my costume,, i mean like a merch kinda t-shirt?? but not really merch bc i was in the musical) 

Instruments/sports played: I don’t play any instruments ,, well i play ukulele badly lmao, and i play soccer and volleyball for grade sport :)

//ABOUT THE BLOG//

When did you make this account? Like,, 2 years ago?? YIKES

Why did you join studyblr? Honestly i don’t remember why,, probably bc i wanted to get better at studying and get more motivated

How many followers do you have? Surprisingly around 4800

Why I chose my url: because i’m a nerd,, and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw

//BELOW THE CUT//

Things about my personal life :000 (get that juicy goss!! lol not really tho my life is pre uneventful)

Study tips and my study routine I guess? Just about how i study lol  

Music/Book/Film/TV faves and other related thingos (aka how cultured am i?? again not really tho i’m just trying to make this sound interesting lmao) 

And some more just RANDOM things lmao (like some of these things get really random lol) 

//PERSONAL//

What are three basic facts about you? Okay so whenever a teacher asks me to introduce myself at the start of the school year, my default interesting fact is “I have a dog” and every single year the teachers are super amazed that i have a pet dog and it’s absolutely hilarious bc everyone else is like “I’m not sharing any personal information with you guys”, and the teacher ends up interrogating me about my pet dog.

That’s not a basic fact lol um.. My birthday is on the 15th of July, I’m the youngest of 3 siblings and I graduate in 2020 :))

What was the best part of your day today? Ngl this is actually a really hard question for me to answer because I am NOT in a good mental state right now… but probably watching Joe Sugg’s new vlog. That was a good way to spend a study break. OR REPLYING TO THAT ANON MESSAGE OMG everyone sending me messages saying that they’re glad to see me back just wow ;; i can’t believe people even noticed i was gone it’s just ahhughsgs thank you all so much <33 

Relationship status: um… single… yeah let’s just leave it at that

who is the first person you go to in a crisis, when you’ve had a hard day, or when you need to vent? Well… my best friend would be the first person i go to.. Except we’re on holidays right now and they have the worst reply game (bc they’re kinda not allowed to talk to me,,, it’s complicated lmao)

what is your love language? (if you don’t know it, there are plenty of love language quizzes on Google! I definitely encourage you to look it up and find it out for your benefit!) :ooo I did a quiz for this ages ago BUT I GOTTA DO IT AGAIN bc i forgot LOL 

OKAY i did it! I used 5lovelanguages.com so yeah.. Just in case anyone was wondering? But I guess my love language is quality time/words of affirmation and from highest to lowest it’s quality time (9), words of affirmation (8), physical touch (6), acts of service (4) and receiving gifts (3) 

what are the little things in your life that make you happy? Lmao all my friends bc we’re all SHORT AF.. but seriously,, just really small things can make me so happy, just being able to spend time with my friends makes me really happy?? Like we can just sit in (comfortable) silence, but i’ll be so content to just be there with my friends..  Quality time with friends?? thanks love language Does that count idk how to answer this

What is your favourite thing about yourself? Um physical thing?? Probably my hair tbh.. But like my actual fav thing about myself is um the fact that i’m empathetic, generally pre organised and good w/ time management and i can like teach myself stuff?? or maybe how i could be having the worst day of my life and i’ll still want to spread positivity and good vibes?? Yeah that’s pre cool 

what accomplishment in your life are you most proud of? Uhh i got dux of english a few years back? I was in the top 10 of 4 subjects last year so that’s pre cool? But tbh the accomplishment i’m most proud of is probably just going to the school I go rn.. OR surviving last year lol 2018 was a mess 

What’s one piece of advice to yourself a year ago? GIRL things are gonna be tough. Like really hecking tough. But it’s not worth it to hold grudges, there’s no point letting fear of what could happen stop you from doing things you want to do and you will survive and you will be stronger because of it. Don’t let what other people say about you get you down, yes, it sucks to hear people speculating about you and your private life, but they have no idea what’s actually going on, and they’re just curious . No one has anything against you. You are loved, and you are worthy, and you are strong. You got this.

what is a skill you wish you had? To play guitar!! Or to be able to sing!!

Name three places you’d like to go to. Richard Rodgers Theatre to watch Hamilton, Music Box Theatre to watch Dear Evan Hansen and the Warner Bros Studio Tour in London. (but also, Japan, London and New York)

//STUDY & ACADEMICS//

What’s your degree/favourite subject? Uhhh it was drama but i dropped that and the 2019 school year hasn’t started yet so.. Who knows?

What motivates you to study? The fact that I gotta do well and get good marks in order to get into a good uni course… and the fact that i just want to keep getting better,, and i don’t want to disappoint people and i also don’t want to do badly bc yikes its real competitive at my school so like lowkey fear of failure

What time do you do your best studying? Tbh it really depends, it’s either the morning not long after i wake up (esp if it’s holidays or the weekend), right after i get home from school, or like late at night if i get a burst of motivation (like sometimes i’ll end up studying from 10:30 to 1am which isn’t sustainable if i have to get up at 7 for school) 

Best self care tip for exam season? Don’t spend your time around people who get really stressed out. It only makes you more stressed, and you don’t need that extra worry. Positive vibes only. Stay chill!

Do you listen to music when you study? Yeah. I just listen to music with no lyrics and I’ll use @studyquill​’s playlist :DD

Where do you do your best studying? I do pretty much all my studying at home so.. home?? but i have this spot at school that i like to go to in the mornings when no one’s at school yet because it’s super quiet and i can get some quality work done there 

What’s your go to thing when studying? Write notes, do practise questions, draw summary mind maps and try to recite my notes from memory

//MUSIC//

put your music library on shuffle, list the first 15 songs

Oh boi this is going to be interesting

How Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran

Part of Me (Bonus Track) - Dear Evan Hansen

If I Could Fly - One Direction

Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer

If I Could Tell Her - Dear Evan Hansen

Somebody to Love - Queen

Moving Along - 5 Seconds of Summer

Candy Store - Heathers the Musical

Cabinet Battle #2 - Hamilton

Guns for Hands - Twenty One Pilots

Sunrise - In The Heights

The Judge - Twenty One Pilots

Radio Ga Ga - Queen 

Defying Gravity - Wicked 

Shine a Light - Heathers the Musical 

Song stuck in your head: for some reason Acid Rain by Cimorelli just randomly came into my head when I woke up this morning?? so that i guess lol 

Last song you played: Alaska by Maggie Rogers

What are you listening to right now? well right now it’s Shine a Light lmao

what are your 5 favourite songs right now? THIS IS HARD OMG okay um Photograph by Ed Sheeran, Shout Out To My Ex by Little Mix, Fire Away by Niall Horan, Walking in the Wind by One Direction and I discovered Light On by Maggie Rogers today so that too!!

What’s your favourite lyric right now? Darling you don't have to hold it/You don't have to be afraid/You can go 'head and unload it/'Cause you know it'll be okay

Fave artist? GOOD QUESTION.. I don’t have an answer lmao but I like 5SOS, Ariana Grande’s new songs, Ed Sheeran and the soundtracks to quite a few musicals but that doesn’t answer the question lol 

//FILM, BOOKS & TV//

Last movie you saw: I rewatched Crazy Rich Asians :))

Top three TV shows: lol i don’t watch TV but all times favs include Gravity Falls and The Simpsons annnnndd um… yeah I really don’t watch much TV lol

What are your favourite books? All time fav is Harry Potter, but rn my fav is probably 13 Reasons Why (i know it’s also a TV show so i might check it out!!)

Which ones are you currently reading or want to read? Right now, I’m reading Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. I’m only a few pages in though.

What’s the most recent book you’ve read? Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

//MISCELLANEOUS// 

Describe your favourite colour without saying the name! Soft colour of love

What’s your favourite season? Probably autumn

Favourite animal? My pet dog lmao (i really like dogs but i love so many animals but we’ll just say dogs)

Last thing you googled: ‘fire away lyrics niall horan’ because i wanted to check i had the right words lol

How many blankets you sleep with: 1

If you could be a celebrity, who would you be? Probs Emma Watson or Ariana Grande

What is the last text you sent? Ummm i’ll check AND i quote “I AM,,, somewhat certain that’s correct bc like.. I don’t have any confidence in myself”  I was talking to my friend about an assignment lol

Average hours spent sleeping? 7-8 ish??? But during the school term, it could be more like 6-7 but still ain’t that bad???

WOW THAT WAS LONG if u actually stayed throughout all of this and read it all,, (which no one probably did) umm dm me your fav lyrics of the moment? yeah do that lol i wanna meet some new people 

[thefutureduchessmarie]

Soft Asks -

Since my blog is pretty much inactive (and has been for a while), It as a huge (bu lovely) surprise to be tagged by @category-5-harry-kane​

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

I have no idea? I changed it recently, and its a quite chemical smell that I can’t recognize or associate to anything. It’s not bad though

What’s your aesthetic?

I love a creative mix between classic and avant-garde. I love fashion and art, so I really appreciate things that are different, outside the box or pushing the limits of creativity. But at the same time, I like to balance that out with timeless aspects, that I know won’t fade within 6 months. I basically like to keep an eye out for new ideas, will gladly adopt whatever I like, even if is umcoventional, but I will never follow trends.

In terms of dressing, I really value comfort. Like, I love dressing up, but I refuse to be in pain or uncomfortable just to achieve a certain look

What do you love most about the beach?

I grew up in a small town by the beach, where everyone wanted to spend every day of summer break laying on the sand. So I used to find the beach boring as hell, because I never got to do anything else. Now that I’ve moved to the city, I can finally appreciate it. I still don’t understand how/why people want to spend every single day at the beach for 3 months straight, but I love how relaxing and easy it is. 

But my favorite might be the quietness of the beach in sunny winter days or to look at the ocean when the weather is really bad - there’s beauty in an angry sea!

What worries you constantly?

Pretty much everything! I do suffer from anxiety and often have to take medication for it. But I would say the future, in general. Im 26 yo and I constantly worry about what kind of life Im building for myself. Im not exactly and the place I would like to be and I worry if I’ll ever get there. 

I just hope that regardless of the destination, I can enjoy the ride 

What are some relaxation tips for your followers?

Get reeeeeeeeally cozy and take time to do things you love. Like, put on some comfortable clothes, wrap yourself up in your favorite blanket, light up a scented candle and indulge in anything you feel like - watch your favorite movie or some cartoons, paint, draw, spend an awful lot of time being unproductive online, read fanfiction, listen to you favorite record, play with your pets, whatever you want. Its your moment. You deserve it!

What tears you up?

Anything if its the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. Other than that, I don’t cry that easily. My exceptions are: - Weddings (Ill probably cry watching strangers get married online!)

-Dodo’s videos of rescued animals 

-Athletes crying when they retire (I think Im still crying from Totti’s last game tbh)

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

Probably my anxiety. Im aware that I’ve already accomplished so much in my life even if Im not exactly where I wanted to be, but my stupid brain wont let me see it.  But the good thing is - Im working on it. I genuinely want to feel better and be happy and I’ll never give up on that fight, so I know that better days will come.

What is the one scene for a book that made you?

Ups! Sorry I dont understand this question

Say something to your followers…

Stop giving a damn on this website. You probably created this blog to have a good time, to share some interests with other people, to enjoy yourself. So post whatever you want, say whatever you think, like whatever you like and unfollow who you need to unfollow. Tumblr is one of the few places in society where you can really, truly be yourself, so don’t waste it. And if its not making you happier, don’t be afraid of giving it a rest. 

Since I’ve been practically dead in here, I don’t know who to tag anymore. So I’ll do something different instead - I’ll consider uploading my blog again and being more active in here in the near future

[noblehope]

did i sent my url before i dont remember

  send in a url because positivity. || NOT ACCEPTING

my opinion on;

character in general: For a while I was very much on the “ouma is awful and abusive” side because I had no idea about his character as you know I haven’t played the game lmao. Still haven’t, but exposure to Ouma through the dash and friends that are fans have opened my eyes. I… still don’t get his character entirely, and I don’t think I will until I play, but I do like him. He’s complicated, probably the most complicated character in the franchise? He’s a fan fav like Komaeda (tho he is not Komaeda) and he’s… easily misinterpreted and reduced to jokes and shallow personality traits (like he’s a trickster but that’s not all he is right???? tho okay i love all the ouma memes ever) I feel, just like him Idk what else to say aghggh there’s not much I can yet sorry! 

how they play them: I haven’t seen your Ouma that much, admittedly. You being inactive is one part of this, and me not browsing my dash as much as I used to is another. BUT…. I am very very sure you play him as best as you can, because I know you love him. Anyone who loves their muse as much as you do, I feel can’t go wrong. Besides at the end of the day, it really is all about having fun. There’s a lot of Oumas running around and each and every single one is so unique and entertaining to me cause idk the character!!! I love them all!!! Please tell me more about your Ouma.

the mun: Cheri… the first thing I have to say that is you are very, very, very hard on yourself quite a lot when you really shouldn’t be. I really like you, I admired your blogs from a distance before and when we finally became mutuals on my Sonia it was really cool! And then we got talking and hoo, the rest is history. You’re always making me laugh and I am just amazed by our similarities when it comes to really, really personal things I never thought I could share with someone as horrible as it is. I know you’ve been through stuff, some even as recent as just last week it feels, and you’re still healing through it. But, and I know I really shouldn’t compare, but I feel you’re a lot stronger compared to me when it comes to people hurting you and getting back on your feet, and your progress can only improve from here. I couldn’t have done that like… a year ago, or let alone when I was even younger. You’re still in the fandom when I had to completely detach myself from it, and I’m really glad that you are as I’ve gotten this chance to know you. You’ve made mistakes and you’re aware of them, and I’m sure you’ll make many more as we all do, but I really totally 100% believe in you and your goodness that you’re so unsure about whether or not it even exists. Is it… really mom of me to see I see like, a lot of me in you, cause I do? I really do. Not all, but some, enough for me to think so time and time again.You have a lot of feelings and I’m glad to be another person you feel comfortable enough in sharing them w/ as you really really need that right now.  I??? have so much to say???? uh. Basically I’m always going to be in your corner and that’s that.

do i;

follow them: yea tho you followed first im p sure im glad :>

rp with them: no wtf not (because im slow)

want to rp with them: of course i do tf

ship their character with mine: The only reason it’s even a thought in my head is that a long time ago and Ouma did like the idea of them together and I had absoutely no idea why and I wanted to know, but I never got the chance to ask LMAO. I .. don’t see it, really, but I do see them being an incredible brotp once he stops pranking her all the time (doubtful) because unlike Gonta she would get mad at that once she catches on to his tricks.

what is my;

overall opinion: Really nice and fun, incredibly memey, please give cheri’s blogs a look and consider following as i would trade a lung for them or smth.

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.

[tkipaniwrites]

Day to Day (Chapter 5)

Re-uploaded onto new writing blog!

Chapter Summary: Allura and Shiro had something in common when it came to their parents.

Also available on ffn and ao3

Day Five – Parent

Shiro had a distinct memory of one particular day before he had left on his fateful Kerberos mission. He had called his mother, mostly to reassure her that everything would be fine and that he would, at some point during the mission, be able to send messages back down to Earth to be relayed to her and his father.

His gentle mother warned him that he’d better send her something at every moment he could. The conversation shifted, and they talked about his grandmother’s health (“She’s as fit as a fiddle! But she had another fight with the neighbor yesterday over the persimmon tree.”), his mother’s work as a nurse, and finally settled into talking about Shiro’s personal life.

“When are you going to find yourself a nice girl and settle down, son?”

Shiro rolled his eyes and chuckled humorlessly through the speaker. “Mom, please. I’m a little too busy to be getting into a relationship, let alone getting married.”

His mother had clicked her tongue, which made Shiro laugh. “I know, I know,” she relented, “But I just hope that you one day understand the blissof having someone to come back to.”

“I suppose you’ll have to do for now, Mom,” Shiro joked with a smile.

His mother laughed loudly and the conversation carried on.

Shiro fiddled with the small hologram projector in his hand, having let his thoughts wander. The hologram, which showed flight plans that the former paladins used as provided by Coran, flickered with inactivity.

“Shiro?”

The black paladin started, shocked to see Allura standing at the other side of the dining table where he was currently sitting.

“What are you doing in here?” She asked, her eyebrows knit together.

Shiro lifted the hologram projector lamely and sent her a crooked, strained smile. “Just going over some stuff Coran gave me.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow. “Because it looked to me as though you were very lost in thought.”

Letting out a breathy laugh, Shiro shifted in his seat. Allura was as observant as ever. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I was thinking about my mom.”

Allura’s expression softened, and she shifted down into chair directly across from Shiro. “Your mother?” she asked, “The healer?” Her eyes flickered with familiarity as she recalled some conversations she and Shiro had in the past.

“Nurse,” Shiro corrected with a chuckle. “Yeah.”

Allura folded her hands together. “What about her were you thinking about?”

Shiro hummed, turning off the hologram and toying with the small machine. “I was thinking of the last phone call I had with her.”

“Phone call?” Allura tilted her head in confusion.

The black paladin had to bite the inside of his cheek to avoid grinning at the adorable expression. “It’s like the communication link that we use through our helmets” Shiro lifted the devise in his hand. “It’s called a cellular phone and it’s a device about this size.”

Allura frowned. “That must have been inconvenient to carry with you.”

“Not really,” Shiro grinned, “It could also be used to send text messages, access information, and even play games.”

Allura tapped her chin, probably imagining what a cell phone may have looked like. “So,” she started, “You communicated with your mother. What did you talk about?”

“A lot of things. My mom liked to talk.”

Chortling, Allura rested her elbows on the table and set her chin down in her hands. “I wish to know what Earthlings talk to their parents about.”

Shiro let out a hearty laugh. “It can’t be very different than what you talked to your father about.”

A flicker of shadow passed over Allura’s eyes, and for a moment, Shiro regretted bringing up the deceased king of Altea. But, the princess quickly recovered, a fond smile spreading across her face. “Well let’s see,” she began, “I talked to my father about flowers and upcoming festivals.” She let out an exasperated puff of air. “And when things became a bit more serious, we spoke of politics, duties, and marriage.”

“Marriage?” Shiro gawked. He didn’t even want to think about the butterflies in his stomach that began to flit about as the word slipped out of Allura’s mouth.

She nodded, her eyes gazing off to the right, recalling specific, frustrating conversations with her father. “My father never liked to pressure me, but I could tell that the topic was being stressed by some royal advisors. I had to sit through several marriage interviews with suitors when I hit marriageable age.” Allura let out a deep sigh and moved her gaze back to Shiro. “Is there such burden for marriage on Earth?”

Shiro let out a borderline-wheezy laugh. “Sometimes. It depends on the culture.” He scratched the back of his neck. “But you I have something in common I guess. The last conversation I had with my mother, she kept asking me when I was going to get married.”

“Did you,” Allura’s voice lowered slightly as she leaned back into her chair and lowered her gaze, “have someone you were contemplating marriage with?”

“No!” Shiro nearly launched up onto his feet but held back, instead just slamming his left hand down onto the table more forcefully than he had hoped.

The Altean princess blinked, eyes wide and heart racing.

Shiro cleared his throat and leaned back. “I mean–I wasn’t… I didn’t… have anyone,” he finished weakly. He peeked at Allura. “Did you?”

Allura shook her head vigorously, her long hair falling onto her face. “I, um,” she stammered, tucking some strands behind her ear. “I always come off as a little too outspoken and forceful.”

“I-” Shiro stopped.

I like that about you.

That’s what he was about to say. And that was only one step away from I like you.

A heat began to travel up Shiro’s neck. “I find those traits admirable,” he mustered out.

Allura beamed at him then began to fiddle with the ends of her hair. “Thank you. And,” she locked eyes with him, “I’m glad you didn’t have anyone.”

Shiro opened his mouth at the same time that the dining room door slid open. A laughing Hunk and Lance strolled in. Both paladins jumped when they realized that Shiro and Allura were already occupying the room.

“Hey guys! What are you do-”

Hunk’s joyous greeting was cut off by Lance’s hand over his mouth. The blue paladin smirked at the duo at the table, “Sorry, we didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Not at all,” Allura answered with trained political grace as she stood from her seat. “I forgot that I was originally looking for Coran anyway.” She looked at Shiro and sent him a small smile. He returned it with a lopsided grin.

Allura gave Hunk a small pat on the shoulder as she brushed by him out of the room. The dining room was left in silence as the boys watched her leave.

Lance returned to peering at Shiro. “Sooo-”

“Don’t.” Shiro chided as he turned the small hologram machine in his hand back on

[lordgeales]

One entire year at Tumblr :D

DEAL WITH IT

An entire year at Tumblr running a rp blog for a vampire that we now know.. A tiny bit about. Instead of just a whole lot of nothing. When I think about it, I don’t think that much has changed, but looking back... It has. Back when I started up, I honestly had no idea how the customs of tumblr RPs worked. I didn’t know about rules, formatting posts, icons... Honestly NOTHING at all. I’m still amazed that no one yelled at me. 

I think I caught on pretty quickly tho, four months later, I made this blog. Changing from a sideblog, to a main. And boy, that changed a lot. With that came the new icons(why did I decide to go all out with them... Whhyyy), promos, rules, a design(that is very old holy-), and everything a RP’er should have. At least according to tumblr. 

Although I have to say that I still felt a bit alone being on tumblr. I never really got to speak to people OOC, and the ones I reached out to.. Oboi (((: Let’s forget about that. It gradually became better. In May I met what I’d call my first “tumblr friend”. Who unfortunately isn’t very active RP-wise anymore.

December was wild compared to the rest of my time. Starting with a meme that led to me getting to talk with Lily(@elyon-kurae​), not to mention the dear Vero(@monophagia​) joining in on the RP :D! That has led to yet another chain event, and I’m very much involved in the RP community now. I think I finally understand what it’s all about.

And although I’ve been through a lot, weeks of inactivity, spikes of activity and shitposting, tons of asks, lack of asks.. Hm, well, we’re still here. I still have the pleasure of talking to most of the people I did back in the days, and a lot of new to call friends.

The people I’ve been interacting with through the time under the cut. Read at own risk it’s very... Long.

People listed in the correct order they appeared at my blog c;

@lestkarrkingofeurope: Starting out with a strange RP on a drawing I won(reblogged just before this post~). I have no idea what we were doing, but it was a lot of fun! Also the reason I even stumbled into this community to begin with. Lately I’ve had the pleasure of being... blessed a lot. Save me from my sins, oh holy tsunami.

@forgottenprogenitor: I think you came along with Lest, with your former muse, Akane. I adored that RP, giving me a chance to show some of Urds more gentle sides. Akihiko was the absolute breakthrough though, I adore him. I love our interactions, and look forwards to yet another year!

@tatsu-rose-bathory: YOU CAME WITH A FLOWECROWN! I remember that much :D! It took a few weeks before we eventually interacted, but I was pretty much in love with Tatsu from the start(still very much am). I really enjoy reading about her, not to mention their occasional small talk they do nowadays. It’s so nice having someone around that Urd actually looks at with gentle eyes ;-;

@makotonarumi/@dusksovereign​: Unfortunately no longer active, but just for the sake of people reading it - Holy fUCK?! When you first reached out to me I was soooo confused. Still am. You are/were an amazing writer, and honestly I felt so bad whenever I wrote replies, because.. Ah, I didn’t feel worthy at all. You were extremely nice to me, however, sending me all kinds of anon-love, tagging me in memes... Ahh. Thank you so much. I don’t think you know how much it meant to me. Just. Thank you. And I’m sorry for being such a slob with the replies.

@ferid-trash-bathory/@shusaku: Turns out you’ve been around forever. Through it all. Wow. Sometimes I do wonder just how bad of an impression i left back then *lol*. Ah, I remember us talking every now and then, it’s just lately I’ve come to know you for “real”. I really like your portrayal of “Fred”, not to mention Shusaku.... Who I might have been a bit mean to back then.... *coughs* Aha, but I’ve been sure that you were nice for a very long time. Still very happy that I reached out to you about the Egypt AU. Although Vero was dying in the background. Best meme lord. Also someone I can always trust to help Urd get revenge on Saito. Gotta get back at that ass amirite.

@mrsaitou: “My first real Tumblr friend” ahh. I really miss having you around. We talked a lot about... I don’t even know. But we talked a lot. I can’t even remember if it started in May, where the first meme with you were tagged, or if we started talking later on. I think I have your personal somewhere... Might dig that out sometimes soon to hear what you’re up to.

krultepxs: Deactivated, unfortunately... A Krul I had tons of fun with, planning all kind of strange stuff. Urd keeping Krul a prisoner after her treason in the Kremlin. An AU where they had to marry. Unfortunately we never got to RP, or plan that much due to me going hiatus for a few weeks. 

@lvstforblood​: OKAY WE BONDED OVER A MEME... And then never talked again. Rip. But if you ever feel like rp’ing, you know where to find me. Winks at.

@asurayuucentral​/@perfectasura​: I can’t even remember when you started coming around tbh, but we haven’t interacted that much. Still I feel like you’re kinda my friend, and I love to see your little likes and crack reblogs ;-;! Also I’d love to rp with you some more whenever!

@erisblonde​: Wonder if you’re still around and into the fandom? We’ve theorized a lot about Urd ahh... Unfortunately it kinda died out - probably due to me going inactive. I tend to do that a lot, huh... Just know, that if you feel like talking theories, hit me up. Anytime. Anyday.

@riddlemehiss/@dil-a-to-ry: WOOP! MY FAVORITE CAT! Okay I was kinda skeptic when The Cheshire cat waltzed into my askbox. But surprisingly I really enjoy his interactions with Urd. You play him amazingly, like holy shit. I’ve enjoyed every single second. Also you’re a really nice person, I think I still see you around every now and then, although Cheshire is on Hiatus. But if you ever feel like reviving him... You can count on Urd to be confused by his lack of respect for gravity :P!

@masterofzawarudo: Can I just say that I love everything about Dio. Although Urd doesn’t. In fact he’s probably annoyed by every single fiber of his being. Sorry for not reaching out to you more often, you’re seriously awesome. Although I find it kinda hard to connect on the strength-level, since our muses come from such different verses. BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON’T FIGHT I’M UP FOR ANYTHING. COME FIGHT ME! YA! wait, don’t do that. Fuck. Also I don’t follow you because I don’t watch Jojo, and you post so much stuff about that rip, still love your blog tho

@kruliisms: Hmmm... Here’s where I’m in doubt. I never wrote it down anywhere, but are you perhaps Krultepxs? Ah, I don’t know. What I know for sure, is that we never really got back to RP’ing, and that you’ve gone inactive yet again. But just to let you know, if you ever feel like doing something with Urd - you’re more than welcome to hit me up :)!

@krullish: Hmm... I think we planned something a while back, but never got around to do it? But anyway, if you feel like RPing with the... shitty russian vampire lord, well... Here I am. Still around c;!

@repulsc: EEEYYYYYYY CASCADA AND LATE NIGHT SHIT POSTING! That my jam. Also chain kinks. I did not say that. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything aside from shitposting and endless icon threads of stare-battles. Always up for more. Or smth serious, whatever you feel like. Winks very hard at.

@brassboundvalkyrie: I think I first noticed you for real when you commented on a picture of me(the mun), however I never really got around to talk to you. Unfortunately our muses are not very compatible orz! BUT HEY! Suddenly you were there, yelling to me about Vero, and whelp... I accidentally joined. Whops. You’re a real nice person, and I looove your Horn. Hope she’ll find a Crowley soon. Until then, I’ll suffer in silence with you. Looking forwards to meeting you c;! Just... No straw, and no masks, k?

@wintersoldier-barnes: Wiggles eyebrows Please send me more Urd. Send me all the Urd. I love the Urd. Gimme the Urd. Urd drug buddy. Also yet another sinner of the SaiUrd squad. Feel free to send me (n)Urds at any times, or just anything in general. You’re amazing to talk to, so~! Also you’re a really pretty Urd holy shit

@rk-silverknight: You just fit in here for some strange reason, because Noblesse yass! We’ve never interacted ic, but you’re still a really nice person! I hope we’ll get to talk some more sometimes in the future. Or perhaps break the bundaries between our muses worlds... Who knows. Perhaps they could actually get along.... Or just have a silent starring contest. 

@elyon-kurae: I can’t even... How did we go from relationship meme to... Talking about high and low? You are an adorable person, and.. So sorry for ruining your innocence orz! BUT EYY SAIURD BUDDY~! Also corner buddy, Tumblr sis, and everything really. I like you tons <3

@rigr-stafford: It’s really nice to have you around! I know we haven’t talked much ooc, but just stretching a leggi out and saying EY I LIKE YOU TOO! Looking forwards to our future interactions!

@borntobeafangirlxd: I think it’s really cute how you manage to like my posts all the time. Aaahhh, you probably have no idea how much it means to me! I’m so happy you like my portrayal, 

@monophagia: How the fuck did the tag “Another traitor has joined the game~” END UP IN A THREAD WITH MIKU, A TV BEING IMPALED BY A SPOON, AND MAKEOUT ON THE BLOODY FLOOR?! KJLaslfhalskfd. I cannot. Even. Just... Lol. Also you liking that Saito-rp-partner ask, and actually making a blog for him is probably the best thing that happened in my whole Tumblr history. You almost deserve a whole post by itself, so I’ll just stop before it gets too long lol. I love u bby, and I fucking adore your Saito. Be it angsty human Saito who gets way too dramatic whenever Urd ignores him, the priest who adores his pharaoh way too much, or the canon-vampire with his weird pudding obsession. You’re a joy to write with, and honestly I’m amazed we’re still keeping it up. I’M SO HAPPY YOU REACHED OUT TO ME?! OK SEE U IN LIKE... SOON. Don’t kidnap me for too long when I come to Germany tho. I cannot German. 

@playfulprogenitor: For some reason I can’t tag you? BUT just want to let you know, that you’re free to swing by anytime! It was really fun seeing you join in on the shitposting! 

@lacus-owns-you: We actually interacted through your OC @louischerel long before I even knew that it was you on that Lacus account. HELLO MOMMY! You’re a joy to talk to, and although we rarely RP, I still enjoy haning out with you ooc <3!

@hiiragi-yukine: Aaah you seem so nice! Although we haven’t really spoken outside the RPs, I really enjoy your OC. Also Yukine as faceclaim doesn’t make it any worse noragamiftwamirite.

@ALL THE PEOPLE I PROBABLY FORGOT

Thank you so much for following me! And I’m so sorry if I forgot you, I had to go through a lot of posts, so I probably did orz.

@ALL MY ANONS

I LOVE YOU TONS THANKS FOR ALL THE ASKS THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT

AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING URDS BUTT I know it’s amazing

He secretly loves you too

[yesheavensent-blog]

Something I should’ve done a long time ago

THESE ARE JUST WORDS STOP LOOKING INTO WHAT IM WRITING, THEY MEAN WHAT THEY MEAN. IM NOT THINKING ABOUT THE SILLY WORDS GAMES PPL PLAY IM WRITING

Greetings friends. I really should’ve started this blog a long time ago so people stop assuming so many crazy things about me. I don’t talk much because everyone assumes when I say certain words that they are supposed to have a hidden meaning, but that’s not the case. The reality is, is that I know how my brother thinks I interpret information and I know every social interaction around me has been hijacked, so when I see the same words popping up in similar contexts, I know that he's trying to imply things about me. This is why I’ve had to do so many polygraphs. Just because I know his theories and acknowledge them doesn’t make them accurate. I'm levels ahead of him in the thinking department and I don’t get enough credit knowing how he thinks. He assumes I’m always high and he really doesn’t know anything about me, which is kind of pathetic since he has literally all the information on me someone would need. 

The year is 2012 and I was recently accused of stealing my old friends bracelet. During December I flew to Mexico so I could play online poker on the major sites again. Back in 2011 the US government shut down all the best poker sites and I’ve had to live in both Canada and Mexico to play online. I really miss the good old days when there were gigantic tournaments compared to those on BCP. At any rate, it was around this time I noticed my twitter feed (at one time I had 5k+ followers/followed hundred+ friends/acquaintances) was basically saying all the stuff I was doing. It was uncanny. They were saying things that were literally impossible to know unless you went through my emails and were watching me while on the computer. At first I thought I had been hacked, so I posted threads on 2p2 saying I was hacked and I didn’t know what to think. I realized it was because I was accused of stealing, I thought it was Lisa because she worked for the police. She used to be a cop and when I was at Patty/Lisas I was my normal antisocial self and I may have unintentionally rubbed them the wrong way, which wasn’t my intent, I’m just shy and keep to myself. During the course of the next several years, I had different/varying theories of who was monitoring me and why. 

Oh and I didn’t steal my friends thing, he found it behind his couch.

2013

I left Mexico before Christmas cause I was all alone in Mexico and was afraid to drive to Walmart cause I didn’t want to get lost in Mexico. We were in the middle of nowhere and I’d heard it could be dangerous. I was also depressed and lonely. So I went home and that was when I was invited to goto Choice Center, a group therapy place in Las Vegas. I went there the next year. My friend Daniel Negreanu invited me to go and attend the course with two of his associates who I’d worked with. One of them was Patty, so I thought what a good time to be extra nice to her since I thought I had unintentionally rubbed them the wrong way. Remember, I thought it was her partner Lisa that was watching me and was responsible for all the monitoring, and I didn’t have anything against them, again my shyness is often mistaken for meanness I think. 

Anyways so while I was freaking out cause everyone on facebook and twitter were posting things that were clearly fed to them I deleted all of my facebook and twitter accounts. I decided I couldn’t trust anyone cause I would ask people if they knew anything about my phone or who was talking to them and I could tell they were lying. This has made any kind of relationship literally impossible cause I can’t trust anyone. Why talk to people if they’re lying to you? I lashed out at my best friends and I’m so sorry for blaming them, but at least I was right and wasn’t just “high or mental” I knew the conversations were hijacked, they were forced to lie, and I got irritated. So irritated I all but committed social media suicide. I had a fan page and regular fb with over 2000 friends, twitter followers I didn’t pay for, lots of and poker enthusiasts. It was my life. I miss so dearly my old life, but alas that's in the past nothing I can do now except try to explain myself and move on. 

I later tried restoring my social media account, but someone took my old twitter handle, and fb deleted almost all of my friends after being inactive/deleted for several months. 

Daniel used to back me for live tournaments. I thought when he sent me to choice it was so I could gain self-confidence to play better poker and to make peace with Patty. Assumptions get you nowhere in life as I’ve learned. After ChoiceCenter I kept thinking I would get an email saying I was going to play at the WSOP, which I cared so much about. Wrong. Never happened. I drank everyday during the WS that year and I felt betrayed at the time. Here I was doing everything I thought he wanted me to do to get my old job back, but I now realize we were on very different pages. 

I’m going to try to write about every year every day or so, there’s so much to talk about while I starve myself to death. So far we’re only at Dec 2012- March or so 2013.