#sorry for being dead and dry on here recently

[tsukasalover]

why do i put myself through tiering a tsukasa focus event. He didnt even come home.

[luveline]

𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐚𝐳, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐝 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧

Eddie has a staring problem that you barely notice, though you share an aching, awful crush. One of you has to bend first, and it’s not who you’d expect. fem, 5k 

ditzy-ish reader, pining eddie, mutual pining, confessions, first kisses, fluff and hugging, idiots in love, mild states of undress

˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚

It’s a day fit for a funeral in Hawkins. Rain hammers his bedroom window like hailstones, plinking against the frame, condensation running down the panes in thick rivulets he soaks up with an old t-shirt. 

It’s supposed to be spring time. Green grass, flowers, a gentle humming sun to warm the back of his neck while he sits out on the couch on the porch, a hand-rolled cigarette between his fingers, the tip shimmering with heat. 

But the rain pours. He’s cleaned his room for the first time in a month, at least, and his back aches in the best way as he lays down amongst fresh sheets. His room feels strange when it’s organised, but he doesn’t mind. He pictures the state of it through a second pair of eyes. This is a boy who cares about things, who takes care of them, who could take care of me, too. 

Rain again rackets on the metal roof above. He and Wayne keep a couple hundred bucks stashed for the day the roof flies straight off —they take turns hiding it, because cars break down and groceries get more expensive every year, but god will they need it, and so they safeguard it well. 

He syphoned a little of the money recently with Wayne’s support. It was for a good cause. 

“Jesus,” Eddie murmurs to himself, not tired but feeling dull as the clouds outside eat the remaining sun. 

It’s depressing to be poor, and to lose a day trying to hide the evidence of an entire life in a small room. He could sleep a hundred years. 

He’s just finished pulling the sheets over his shoulder when somebody knocks on the front door. Wayne opens it three rooms away, the sound of the rain doubled. 

He gives a startling shout, “Ed! Your girl!” 

Eddie topples out of bed. Doesn’t mean to, foot caught in the bottom of the sheets and stuck as he scrambles to slide out of the mess. He’s begged Wayne not to call you that when you’re within earshot, but Wayne’s a mean (kind) old bastard (middle aged dad) who wants Eddie dead (happy, and in love). 

“Come on in, girl. You’re soaking.” 

“It’s raining.” 

“It’s pouring down. Did you walk here?” 

“Took my bike. Thought I’d get struck by lightning in the car.” 

“How’d you figure?” 

Eddie goes to grab the door handle and spins on his heel, staggering onto his bed and up against the wall, where a mirrored tray once used by Dio himself for rolling hangs from the wall. He checks his face in the polished surface, his warped mouth and nose, too small eyes, and swears to himself that one day he’ll get a real mirror with a fully-functioning reflective surface. 

Then he hops down off of the bed, causing a reverberation he knows traverses the entirety of the trailer floor. Eddie snatches a rare clean towel from his laundry chair and speeds down the hall. 

“Hello,” he says, more casual than he feels to find you unexpectedly in his house. “You’re soaked.” 

You give a sweet smile. “It’s raining out, did you not know?” 

Your hair is dripping, water racing down the curves of your face to collect at your chin. Eddie can see the smudges of your makeup where it’s washing off as he wraps a towel around you, kohl on your cheeks, eyelashes turned to half-diamonds and sticky-looking. You grin at being covered, taking the towel from his fingers before he can dab you dry. 

“Why didn’t you just call me?”’

“I can never remember if your phone number ends in three or four.” 

“Seven. I wrote it down for you a hundred times.” 

You rub your eyes and spread all manner of glitter and shadow over your skin. You wipe your neck and the glitter spreads like an alien rash. 

When you talk next, you shiver, “I lost it a hundred times, sorry. Is it okay that I'm here?” 

Wayne, who’s been watching with a distinct sense of amusement from the couch, lets out a chesty laugh. “Honey, it’s always okay that you’re here on my account. And it’s my house.” 

“It’s fine.” Eddie turns your shoulder so he can mouth over it without being caught. Asshole. 

Another laugh follows. Eddie would cut each of his fingers from his hand and then his hand from his wrist if it were something Wayne needed him to do, but that doesn’t make him any less of an opportunistic asshole. If there’s a way to fuck with Eddie, he tends to try it. He loves Eddie with all the tenacity of a father who loves his son, but Wayne got infected with little bitch disease or something and Eddie can’t cure it. 

“Can I please wash my face? I didn’t expect to get soaked.” 

“Didn’t you?” He regrets his flippancy quickly, leading you down the hall. “You could take a shower. What do you think?” 

You’ve never showered here, but Eddie’s trying to, you know, date you. Romance you, get to cherish you, however anyone wants to say it. And it’s not a war of attrition, just a natural escalation of sharing, or a minimising of boundaries. 

No, that’s pervy, isn’t it? 

“I mean–” He starts to correct himself. 

You interrupt with your answer, “Yes, please, do you think I could? But I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I have your purple hoodie in my room, and there’s gotta be a pair of sweatpants here that fit you,” he says. 

They’ve got a whole bunch of clothes here that floated in from somewhere else, Eddie’s other friends or stuff they’ve bought by mistake. He’s sure he can find something.

“You have my hoodie?” you ask, black kohl spreading across the towel as you wipe your cheek. 

Eddie only smelled it one time. When he’d realised you left it in his van he brought it in and folded it, waiting for the next time he’d see you to give it back, but that night he’d been getting out of the shower wondering if he could call you or if that was too soon, and your hoodie had been right there. So he stood there in his pyjama pants with his wet hair and he didn’t think about picking your hoodie up, he just did, and when he pressed it to his face it still smelled of your perfume. 

He put it back and felt like a loser for days.

“It’s in my closet, you left it in the van Monday,” he explains quickly, nudging you through the doorway of the bathroom. 

The Munson bathroom is teeny tiny but not unnavigable. There’s a shower pressed to the far wall that could squeeze in two people, their toilet to the right, a sink basin opposite that with a medicine cabinet and just enough room for a dirty laundry box that’s always, always full. 

Eddie opens the shower and turns it on. “It takes a while to get really hot but then it’s not hot for long, sorry. There’s my shampoo if you want it, and soap, and body wash. Sorry, none of it is super girly.” 

“Sorry sorry,” you say, pretending to hit him in the stomach. “What’s with all the sorries, handsome? I can’t wait to smell like a boy.” 

The way you say it. Eddie doesn’t know what it is, but it’s why he’s crazy about you. 

Probably shouldn’t tell you that as you're taking off your jacket, though. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says. 

Eddie heads out of the bathroom to their skinny linen cabinet hidden in the hallway. He grabs the last two towels from the middle shelf and takes pause, fabric starchy in his hands. Just be normal, he thinks, a pep talk from Eddie to Eddie. She hangs out with you all the time for a reason. She held your hand at the movies. 

Eddie’s in better spirits when he remembers that. Your hand in his, your ring pushing his ring further down his finger, your cheek touching his shoulder as you’d leaned in and asked if he wanted some of your popcorn. 

He opens the door without thinking, shower pattering against the perspex wall, your legs crossing tightly as he enters, turning yourself away from him.

“Woah!” you say, laughing.

“Holy crap.” The image of your red underwear immediately stamps itself into his mind as he pulls the door shut between you. They were really cute, red and white gingham, showcasing just the slightest curve of your– “I told you I was coming back!” 

“I thought you’d knock!” you laugh. “Sorry I flashed you. At least I had my shirt on.” 

At least, he thinks wryly, shoving his arm through the gap in the door, heavy towels pulling at his fingers. His head’s about to snap off, it's turned so far away from the door’s opening. “Here.” 

“If you wanna see me naked so bad you can just ask,” you tease. 

“Take the towels, loser.” 

You take the towels and he closes the door, preventing any more accidental creeping, and giving himself a reprieve. Gingham underwear. Wavy lettuce edgings kissing your skin. 

Holy fuck. Being a person is so lame, Eddie thinks. He wants to have a crush on you purely, and yet seeing the way you’d crossed your legs to hide from him, smiling, he can’t not think about kissing you —touching you. If he doesn’t get you laid out in his bed soon for some slow kissing he’s not gonna make it.

Eddie opens the strip vent above his window and prays it doesn’t flood his whole room. Clean, it doesn’t look half bad, he could bring you in here respectfully, you could stay the night without fearing for your life. 

You take a quick shower. He’s barely gotten over his nerves when you’re walking into his room, a towel around you, not a hint of shyness about you. 

“You didn’t bring me anything to wear,” you explain. 

Eddie just stares at you. 

“Eddie?” You wrap the towel tighter. “Come on, you’re staring at me.”

“Sorry.” His mouth is bone dry. 

“You have my hoodie, right? Just need some pants.” You cross your arm tightly across your chest. “I don’t usually notice when people are staring at me.”

“You aren’t usually naked in my room,” he says, genuinely and embarrassingly apologetic. 

“I’m not naked. Come on, please? Do I have to wait outside the door?” you ask with a laugh. 

Eddie stands up. Shakes his head hard, almost trips over himself trying to get to his dresser. He decides honesty will be best at this point, lest you think he has only one thing on his mind, “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m just in my head about something and I wasn’t expecting you to come out like that. It’s not right. You’re just… you’re really pretty.” 

“Thank you.” He can’t see you, sorting quickly through his middle drawer and all his miscellaneous pants for a pair he’s sure would fit, if he could just remember where it was. “What are you in your head about?” 

“What?” 

“Eddie, are you okay?” 

“No, no,” he moans, rubbing his face with his hand, ring scratching the bridge of his nose, “I’m not okay, princess, I’m overheating or something, Jesus Christ.” He finally lays eyes on the sweatpants he’d been thinking of, grabs your hoodie from the top shelf and drops them both at the end of the bed. “I’ll give you some privacy.” 

“I don’t have any underwear.” 

“And that’s something I can’t fix,” he says, leaving the room in a hurry. 

Eddie gets to the living room and keels over. His hair falls in his face, his shirt slides down his back. What the fuck is wrong with him? 

Wayne, sliding his shoes on in the recliner, gives a start. “What’s wrong?”

Eddie lifts his head, yanking hair from his face, the skin of his under eyes pulled down harshly. “Oh my god.”

Wayne wrinkles his nose. 

“No ones ever been such a pathetic excuse for a man before,” Eddie says. 

“Your dad’s in jail,” Wayne points out. “And not for the impressive stuff.”

“I’m pathetic.” 

“You’re fine. You’re not supposed to be not pathetic, you’re twenty.” 

“I’m twenty one.” 

“The extra year doesn’t mean much. I know you think you’re all grown up, but you’re still an idiot.” 

Wayne stands and shrugs on the jacket laying over the armrest. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

“I thought you were definitely gonna ask her?” Wayne asks knowingly. That’s what Eddie told him, after all. “Next time I see her, Wayne, I’m asking her to go steady.” 

Eddie shakes his head. “You can’t leave.” 

“Eddie.” Wayne gestures for Eddie to stop slouching like some fiend from a bad horror. “Listen. I get that you’ve always been sort of… behind everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. She likes you. She biked here in a hurricane.”

“What if she says no?” he asks. 

Truthfully, Eddie’s more scared of you saying yes. 

Wayne shrugs. “Girl like that’ll still be your friend after. It’ll be fine, okay? Do you need a hug before I go?” 

“No.” Eddie rubs his eyes some more, sore now from being touched. “Maybe.” 

Wayne crosses the room to give his shoulder a squeeze. “It will be fine. You’re great with rejection, Eds, but I have a good feeling about this one.” 

Eddie felt better about it, before he embarrassed himself staring at you. But Wayne’s right, even if Eddie’s read things wrong between you, he’s sure you’ll still want to be his friend. You and Eddie are the same kind of weird, though he’s more angry where you’re carefree. If everything goes wrong, you’ll probably just give an unnecessary apology and offer to braid his hair. Which will be torture, but Eddie’ll still say yes.

Wayne calls goodbye, and you shout, “Bye, Mr. Munson!” to which Wayne wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Get lost,” Eddie says. 

“Go make her a drink. I’ll see you later.” 

That’s not a bad idea. Eddie makes you a mix of orange and grapefruit juice with a couple of ice cubes and a plastic straw, your reaction predicted and then proved. 

“It’s a cocktail,” you say, pleased, sitting on the side of his bed. 

“It’s not a cocktail, just juice.” 

“Can I have some socks, please, Eddie?” 

Eddie passes you your drink, fingertips brushing. “Yeah. Anything else?” He pretends to be exhausted as he trudges back over to his dresser. 

You laugh and sip your drink. “No, I think you’re treating me quite well.” 

Eddie grabs a random pair and finally gets to sit down beside you, the dresser drawer left out, a spare sock fallen to the floor. You shuffle back into his pillows, propping your juice on his side table, and holding your hands out for the socks. Again, your fingertips touch his as he passes them to you. You seem to enjoy it, a smile lighting your face as you pull your knees up to put the socks on. 

“Thank you for waiting on me,” you say quietly. Not shyly, just quiet. 

“You’re welcome. Came all this way to see me, didn’t you?” He gives you a shove. You shuffle back further. “In the pouring rain.” 

“It felt important at the time.” 

“Yeah?” 

You get the socks on and don’t care about them once they're past your heels. Eddie does the honour of smoothing out the bands so that the elastic won’t dig into your skin, and when he’s done he can feel you looking at him heavily. You’re not one for continued eye contact, but you smile like you were waiting for it all day, like it’s a relief to see him. 

“Bad weather,” you say, slouching down. “I think I’m still wet on the inside.” 

“Gross,” Eddie says, pushing you over bodily to sit beside you. This isn’t new, he doesn’t need any nerves, and he’s grateful when they don’t come. “Here, I’ll pull the blanket over you.” 

“Can’t move,” you say, leaning back against the pillows.

Eddie stretches his legs out. You keep yours up, but you turn to his side, and before he can really make any sense of you, you’re dropping your face into his shoulder. 

“Are you still cold?” he asks, searching for the truth in your strange comment. 

You nod into his shoulder. “I’m freezing. The shower didn’t get very hot.” 

“Sorry,” he says, letting his cheek rest on your head. 

You lift your chin as he does it, his lashes pressed to your forehead, the two of you stuck together like two warped jigsaw pieces. You probably weren’t made to be together, but you make a nice picture, and you fit snugly now. That’s what Eddie thinks. 

This is the sort of moment that makes Eddie wanna ask you out. Maybe you’re just the best friend he’s ever had, but something about this closeness feels different. You wrap your arm around his stomach in a hug and he knows this is different. 

“It’s okay,” you say finally, sighing as you shift downward into his side, getting comfortable. 

“Please don’t bike here in the rain. It’s, like, torrential. You could actually get sick.” 

You feel warm where your body presses against his, but Eddie doubts that’ll make a difference if the cold already made you sick. The bike ride from your place to his isn't short. He covers your arm with his and tries to be your space heater, cheek sliding over your forehead. 

“Eddie…” You hug him with tenderness. Eddie’s reluctant to say cuddle, but it’s close. “This might be a surprise to you, but I think it’s worth the rain and the cold to see you. Especially when you do this.” 

“What am I doing?” 

“You’re rubbing my arm.” 

He hadn’t noticed his hand caressing up and down your arm where it rests on his stomach. 

“You make me feel amazing,” you say, dropping your face into his chest. 

That’s his last straw. Eddie gets both arms around you and cuddles you (it’s a cuddle, okay! he’s a loser!) to him, arms tight but not cruel. All this fuss and you’re finally laying on top of him. He decides he won’t ask you after all. He’s not that brave, and he doesn’t want this to end. 

Your legs fall onto him. You relax completely. Even after you shower he can smell your perfume. 

“You smell nice,” he murmurs. 

“It’s on my hoodie,” you murmur back. 

Right. Eddie should remember. 

“You make everything smell like you.” Even his van keeps your scent most days. 

“Too much?” 

“The right amount,” he says firmly. 

You lay on his chest for a while, just breathing. Eddie rubs your back, tells himself he will ask, actually, because he can’t imagine not getting to do this again. You might even stay over. He could live hours of this. He didn’t know having you lay on him could make him feel like this. 

He can’t believe you’ve never done it before. 

Rain pounds the window. Condensation drips down onto the sill. You let your legs stretch out flat and then manoeuvre to be laying half atop him, hoodie riding up your back. 

“Any warmer now?” he asks.

“Yeah, you’re warming me up.” You lavish in his arms for a moment, and then lift your face. “Oh, this is a bad angle.” 

“For me or you?” 

“For me, duh.” 

Eddie doesn’t think you could have a bad angle. He rubs at your upper arm as you start to shift. “You know, your bike has just as big a chance of getting hit by lightning as your car does. More, probably.” 

“You think so?” 

“It’s physics. So, please don’t do it again.” 

You hum. “Hm, should I risk getting struck by lightning, or spend the evening without you?” you murmur, your arm moving, moving slowly, your hand resting gently on the column of his neck. There’s something ironic in your voice, wry, but your eyes are warm. He’s paralysed. No one has ever spoken to him like you. “I think I’d rather get struck by lightning.” 

You stare at one another. He laughs. You join in, your thumb a pressure at his neck, and when you move up his chest to lean in, he isn’t expecting it. 

“We’re very close together,” you whisper. 

“Super close,” he whispers back. 

“…Eddie, can I ask you something?” Your eyes slip shut, your lips so close that something in him aches, just enough wit about him to cup your shoulders in his forearm. 

“Yeah.” 

He doesn’t sound half as calm as you do. 

“Would you… Do you think we could be official? Would you want that?” You tilt your head to the side. “Is that stupid?” 

“Official?” he asks, panicked, his eyes squeezed shut hard enough for a moment that they ache.

“Like, you’d be my boyfriend. I’d be your girlfriend. We’d be close like this all the time.” 

Eddie panics so hard he just says the first thing that comes into his head, “Like, we’d kiss?” 

“I hope so,” you say, your nose pressing against his, the tip to the side of his, and then against his nostril. The heat of your breath is hard to ignore. “What do you think?” 

What does Eddie think about it? 

He catches your lips in a slow kiss. Achingly slow, not even sure it’s a kiss until you reciprocate, and your fingers dig behind his neck to tease his hair. Your lips part against his, the heat of your tongue sudden and undeniable —Eddie didn’t know you had it in you. He squeezes you to him, attempting to crane his neck downward, reliant on your enthusiasm as you move up, as you use his neck to pull yourself closer. 

Your noses crush together, and it actually hurts. “Sorry,” he says, easing you back, “you okay?” 

“‘Nother kiss,” you say hopefully, distractedly. 

He can’t not give it to you. 

Your hand spreads flat against his chest and you kiss, you kiss, long and slow movements against him before turning your head to take it again. Eddie doesn’t always know what to do with himself, but he knows kissing, no matter what anybody might think about him, and he takes the lead. 

His hand screws into a fist against your hoodie, the slip of your back further exposed as you shiver into his mouth, a sound you shouldn’t make sweet on his tongue. 

You pull away, breath on his lips. “Wanted you to kiss me for so long,” you murmur. 

Eddie knows you’re not saying it to flirt, and that makes it worse. 

“I should’ve kissed you a long time ago,” he says roughly. 

“You wanted to?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, so much, I’m a loser about you–”

“I’m always a loser,” you interrupt, “but especially about you.” 

You scratch your fingers through his hair, encouraging his head down for another kiss. This one rougher but not rough, his arm slips finally behind your head where he’d needed it to be, hooking you in his elbow to keep you in one place. To kiss you soundly, without interruption. Your almost feverish ebbing inward is a dream, your nose rubbing up against his is a fantasy. 

His heart hammers and hammers at his ribs. 

You pull away to let him breathe. “You’re very excited,” you tease lightly. 

Eddie kisses you, breathless. He kisses you so much he’s surprised you allow it, but your thumb rubs his cheek, and he knows he’d been right all along. You want him like he wants you, with startling, mildly pathetic urgency. 

He feels like a fucking prince. Girl of his dreams in his lap, everything he wants, and he didn’t even have to ask. 

—

Eddie spends a week in bliss. You’re suddenly everywhere, all the time, attached to his hip or some other part of him, and he forgets for seven whole days that he bought you a ring. 

The rain dries up, the Munson emergency fund lives to die another day, and he remembers the ring only minutes before you’re knocking at his door. 

He trips over himself trying to answer it before Wayne, who’s taken to being as painfully embarrassing as is possible for one human being, can get it for him. 

“One day you’re gonna eat shit and break your nose,” Wayne says. 

Eddie yanks open the door. “Yeah, thanks. Hey, beautiful, what’s with the sunglasses?” 

You slide them down your nose. You’re a vision on his front step, not that you’d ever notice your own intrigue. “The sunglasses?” you ask, tucking them away. “What do you think they’re for? Three guesses.” 

He grabs your waist, leaning down out of the doorway so as to save Wayne the agony. “That’s smart,” he says, kissing you quickly in hello. “You’re funny. Need anything before we go?” 

“No, I’m okay. Hi, Mr. Munson!” you add.

“Hey, honey! How are you?” Wayne calls.

You look up into Eddie’s face with an obvious delight. “I’ve never been better.” 

Eddie grins back. 

He waves a quick goodbye to Wayne and then he’s out the door. You grab his wrist and practically dance him to the car, where you offer your keys, and he deigns to drive. From there it’s smooth sailing, familiarity with a better twist, Eddie driving with the windows down and your hands twined on your thigh. Things haven’t changed much since you asked him to go steady, there’s just a whole lot more of this. Touching, kissing, no weird guilt about staring. 

As it turns out, you’re as eager to be laid out in his bed as he is to lay you out. He’s never wanted to kiss you more, and now he’s allowed. 

“Eyes on the road.” 

He leans over to kiss your cheek. The sun has warmed your skin, and his kiss makes you smile. You look pretty no matter the weather. 

“Before we get there, I have something to give you.” He takes his hand from yours to slide the box from his pocket. He holds it up. “But you can only have it if you swear you’ll call me tonight before bed. No excuses. You know exactly what number to call.” 

“Ends with a three,” you say, nodding. 

He sighs. “No, it does not.” 

“I’m kidding! Two one nine seven, I have now committed it to memory.” 

Eddie pays attention to the road, though it’s clear and long heading out of the trailer park and into town. “That deserves a gift.” 

You’re back in your glitters today, a skirt to enjoy the fine weather, a button shirt with a cute triangle collar, you’re lovely as ever, if a tad much for some. Not Eddie. He loves the dark clothes, the tinkling bracelets, the fun way you smile like everything he says is a secret between him and you. People stare wherever you and Eddie go, but as long your arm is sewn through his he couldn’t care less. 

“A gift,” you say, smiling in your way, and taking the box politely. “I don’t think I deserve it for just remembering your number.” 

“You deserved it for less. It’s not much. You can pay me back in three or four amazing kisses. Right here.” He points to the tight juncture beneath his jaw. 

You attempt to lean over and kiss him immediately. He pushes you back, laughing, worsened by your own breathless laughter as you steal one exactly where he’d tapped. 

You settle back down, Eddie’s hand dropping kindly to your knee. “I wonder what it is,” you say. 

“Then open it.” 

“I am!” You pop the box open, it’s springing hinge snapping into place. “Oh, woah. Woah. Where did you get this?” 

It’s a slim ring, with a weirdly shaped band of quality metal around some cheaper but not totally worthless gemstones, of which there are three different colours: a topaz orange, a lime green, and a pinky-red ruby colour centre stage. They have nice cuts. It’s strange as you are, and he knew when he saw it you’d have to have it. 

“If I put it on my marriage finger, are we engaged?” you tease. 

“That one would be way heavier,” he says, giving you a squeeze. 

You slide it onto your middle finger and hold your hand up in the sunshine. It fits in with your other ring nicely, though it is, to Eddie’s pride, far prettier. 

He has half a mind to pull over and kiss each knuckle, but he’s trying to be less dramatic about you. It’s not working. 

“Thank you, Eddie. I love it.” 

“Best boyfriend ever?” he asks hopefully. 

To his mild fear but better pleasure, you climb up onto the console to press three quick kisses to his cheek and jaw, your hand under his ear holding him in tender place. “Best boyfriend ever. Even if you stare too much.” 

“How am I supposed to not?” he asks, with more weight than he’s intended. 

You speak matter of factly for the first time in your life. “I am going to cause an accident,” you promise, attempting to kiss his nose. “A bad one.” 

“Sit down, please.” He lets you kiss his nose, and then jabs you in the side. “Sit down, oh my god! That’s not funny, you’re so pretty I will total your car.” 

“Now who’s not funny?” 

You both laugh at the same time, the unfiltered, un-cute cackling of two idiots with the same sense of humour, and the same wealth of ridiculous honeymoon love. 

˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚

thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. if you did, please consider reblogging or commenting!! thanks very much <3

[socialkid]

Imagine…

You’re a well known actress, and your name is pretty big. Like Zendaya big. And your fiancé Katsuki Bakugou is your pro hero boyfriend. Perfect couple right? No literally you are. He goes with you to all your interviews, tapes all of your auditions, and manages to get on your set AT LEAST one time.

Well recently you got casted in a show about an zombie outbreak. You play a main yet supporting character named Halle, a 19 year old girl who is apparently the only survivor left of her family.

Lucky for you the producer highly respects your boyfriend, and he’s allowed to watch you on set whenever. He sits in a chair the directors provide for him every time you film.

He usually supports you and he’ll peak at you from his phone a couple times, but it’s nothing he’s never not seen before.

Now when Bakugou’s passing by his staff’s cubicles and work area in his angency, and he keeps hearing them discuss about ‘Dead of Night’ (your new show) he’s genuinely intrigued.

Apparently the show’s gon viral. And everyone is talking about it. “Yeah, you haven’t seen it yet? I swear you live under a rock.” pro hero Charge Bolt told him. I mean technically he has watched it, he watched you film it! But now that he realizes, he can’t even spell out the plot.

So one day when Bakugou finds the time, he plops down on your sofa and clicks on your series.

Safe to say he might be intrigued…

Now when he watches he’s locked in. Snacks and all, and if he blinks he’s rewinding. It’s all he watches, he’s so interested in the show and can be considered a piece of the show’s fandom.

Now when you’re filming the show, Katsuki shows up a whole lot less. When the directors yell cut and your eyes pan to his empty chair. Katsuki gives you every excuse under the sun as to why he didn’t show up a certain day. You figured maybe he just got bored watching you film and didn’t know how to tell you, so you shrugged it off. You had no clue he was heavily avoiding spoilers. You didn’t even know he watched your show.

So a couple years pass and your show gets renewed for it’s third season. Unfortunately this season, Halle meets her fate. You recorded your last scene for the show, episode 10. Not a dry eye from the media.

The day your character’s death airs is a tragic day for your fans. Especially Bakugou. Mid way through the show as he slurps his spicy ramen his jaw is floored when your character passes. Noodles immediately discarded back into the cup.

So when you get back home and your boyfriend is quietly laying down on the sofa, watching a corny kids cartoon, you’re lost. “Hey Kats.” You say hanging your coat on the rack as you entered. He only replied with a mumble, something along the lines of “hey how was filmineejdirk”. The room was dim, the shades were drawn, and your boyfriend showed no signs of getting up. Was he depressed or something?

You quietly sat down next to him, glancing at the colorful show in front of him. “Katssss…what’s wrong?” You finally asked. No response. Then he slowly shifted upwards, now sitting up to face you. “Halle died.” He responded. He actually looked fustrated.

You were actually shook, you weren’t even aware that your boyfriend was one of the shows viewers. It sort of made up for him not being at your interviews and filming days.

“I’m sorry baby, but I mean I’m still here.” You said, now opening your arms out to embrace him. He took the opportunity, and pulled you into his arms, leaning back onto the sofa once again.

“I know,” he muttered into your neck, tickling your skin, “Yer not Halle though.”

[dadbodbuck]

fine, you've forced my hand!

It’s by some miracle that Buck doesn’t show his hand the instant he turns on the lights to see him sitting in the corner chair of his hotel room.

“They’ve got you in some pretty shitty digs, Evan,” he says, and Buck fights tooth and screaming nail to hold onto his composure. “Nash so low on funds he had to put you up in a crusty motel?”

“Agent 217,” Buck says, hand itching for his comm. He knows better, knows that 217 has his service weapon tucked neatly away in a holster at his side, knows he’d be dead before he could click on to make the call. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Please, call me Tommy,” 217 says with an innocent, dashing grin, even inch the handsome James Bond everyone assumes Buck must be. “You have something I want.”

“Like we’ll ever tell you anything,” Buck scoffs, “You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

217—Tommy, and why would he give Buck a name to call him?—stands, and stalks over. “Who says I’m after information?”

Buck swallows, tensing himself for a fight. “So, what, this is a hit? Are you here to gloat?”

Tommy continues walking, appraising Buck where he stands in his unassuming civvies. Jean jacket, cotton tee, khakis, tennis shoes. Compared to Tommy’s government-issued slacks, crisp button-down, and polished shoes, Buck feels a little underdressed. He glances down as Tommy rounds his back and leans forward to whisper. “You were at the boardwalk tonight. I know what Nash is after. Going up against the entire establishment, Evan? That’s a suicide mission.”

And—okay. Contrary to popular belief, being a spy (“Intelligence Agent,” Bobby always insists) doesn’t get him laid all the time. He’s actually been going through a bit of a dry spell, with the recent push towards leaking the project they’d been a part of before they went rogue. They just need a little more information, a little more time. Point being, it’s been a fucking goddamn minute, and 217 is smoking. Curly hair, slate gray eyes that sparkle with dry wit, pearly white smile that is condescending, maybe, but in a way that gets Buck’s dick standing at attention. Broad shoulders, big arms, solid muscle. He could bend Buck completely in half, if he so desired. And God, Buck desires.

“Sorry,” Buck blinks, while Tommy smiles his little Cheshire Cat grin, “What was the question?”

“Oh, I’m not here for questions,” Tommy murmurs, hands slipping over Buck’s hips. “I’ve seen the way you watch me, Evan. You’re not exactly subtle. It’s a wonder Nash still employs you.”

“I’m not hooking up with a fucking Fed,” Buck says, even as he gasps with the way Tommy leans down to mouth at his neck.

“Kinda sounds like you are,” Tommy grins, obnoxiously smug, “Besides, weren’t you a fucking Fed three years ago?”

“People change,” Buck says mindlessly, “Fuck, touch me.”

“As you wish,” Tommy replies, sounding affected for the first time that night. Buck catches a glimpse of them in the standing mirror in the entryway, sees the way Tommy’s eyes are blown dark over his shoulder. Watches his hand snake down his front, gently palm over the (frankly, humiliating) bulge in his pants.

Buck wishes he could say it felt like nothing. It would be so nice to be disappointed by Tommy’s touch, when he hates the guy with a burning passion. Unfortunately for Buck’s pride, it’s electric. Tommy’s hand is firm and warm on his dick, even through the layers of fabric.

“They told me about your reputation,” Tommy breathes, “Told me about Agent Buckley, back in the day, sleeping with marks more often than tailing them.”

Okay, so maybe sometimes being a spy got him laid. “It was very effective,” Buck says defensively, “Got a lot of good intel. Why, you want to see what all the fuss was about?”

“You know what they say about curiosity and cats,” Tommy muses, “And satisfaction bringing them back.”

Buck hums, and loses the last tenuous grip on his dignity. “I could blow you.”

“You mean I’d get a blowjob and spared the sound of your voice?” Tommy says, pressing a little harsher into Buck’s clothed dick, delicious friction pushing a moan out of Buck’s mouth. “Is there a downside?”

“Your dick will be extremely close to my teeth,” Buck returns, “And I don’t want you to come down my throat. I want you to fuck me.”

“All you had to do was ask,” Tommy simpers, before dropping his saccharine tone for a bossy: “Now get on your fucking knees.”

And, really, who told him that Buck’s favorite part of his 1.0 phase was when his marks would boss him around? Against his will, his knees give out, and he drops down, watching himself kneel in front of Tommy before reluctantly breaking eye contact with the mirror, shuffling around to a face full of tented polyester.

“You’re so fucking obnoxious,” Buck says, even as he leans forward to run his tongue along the outline of Tommy’s cock. It’s mouth-watering.

“I thought the point of sucking cock was to have your mouth occupied,” Tommy scoffs, hand fisting Buck’s hair a little meanly. Buck wishes he could stop another moan from spilling out of his mouth, but the pain hits him just right.

With fingers that are still thankfully on board with what he’s doing, Buck deftly undoes Tommy’s belt buckle, unzips his pants, and marvels at the thick, long cock that he pulls from his boxers. Oh, he’s going to have so much fun with this. He licks up the underside of Tommy’s dick, slow and wet, and revels in the way his hand tightens in his hair.

It’s like riding a bike, or something, probably. Buck finds himself sucking on the head of Tommy’s cock like he was born for it, bobbing his head down the length of him, letting the filthy, wet, clicking noise of his throat echo around the hotel room. It must be like riding a bike, because the other option is that Buck really did need Tommy this bad. And it can’t be that. Bobby would skin him alive.

“Jesus,” Tommy swears, hips hitching into Buck’s mouth. It’s almost like he’s trying to hold back for Buck’s sake, which is… cute. Certainly nicer treatment than he’s used to, but he can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not.

Either way, he can’t handle tenderness. Not now, and maybe not ever. He doesn’t get to have attachments. That much is clear. He sees the way Eddie and Hen and Chim worry over their loved ones. This way is better. He’s already got Christopher and Maddie and Jee-yun to worry about.

Buck pulls off Tommy’s cock with a loud pop. “You can fuck my throat. It’s okay. I won’t break.”

“I hate to think of what your team would do to me if I broke their favorite toy,” Tommy chuckles, “Especially Diaz. I hear he’s creative.”

“Do me a favor and don’t mention him with your dick next to my face,” Buck rolls his eyes, desperately ignoring the way his dick twitches at the mention of Eddie’s name, “I’ll be fine. Take me for a ride. I know you want to.”

“Oh, you’re gagging for it,” Tommy surmises, guiding his cock back to Buck’s mouth. Buck, unable to deny it, willingly goes down on Tommy, letting him set the pace as he fucks leisurely into Buck’s mouth.

Tommy pushes him down further, and Buck relaxes into it, until he can feel the warmth of Tommy’s hip where his nose pushes into soft flesh. “Holy shit,” Tommy says, “I’m starting to get why this was so effective, I think.”

Buck stays until black spots start dancing at the corners of his eyes, pulling back and heaving breath, and then returning to his spot with Tommy’s cock all the way down his throat. It’s alarmingly comfortable. For the first time since his team went AWOL, he wishes he wasn’t in too deep to quit. He could spend an entire lifetime sitting at Tommy’s feet with his dick choking him stupid.

He gets maybe three more off-breath-down reps in before Tommy is pulling him off by the hair. “Okay, if you still want me to fuck you, we have to take this elsewhere.”

“Yeah, I want,” Buck croaks, voice alarmingly fucked out. Tommy helps him up—strangely chivalrous for a man who has tried on multiple occasions to shoot him with a gun—and they tumble into bed together. If it weren’t for the fact of who both of them were, it might even be romantic.

Tommy has his mouth on Buck before he can get another word in edgewise. Buck starts scrambling to get the rest of their clothes off, and shirts, pants, underwear, and shoes end up scattered around the room.

“Lube? Condoms?” Tommy asks as Buck bites at the junction of his neck and jaw.

“Side table,” Buck says, “You don’t have to use a condom. I haven’t had sex in a while.”

“Poor thing,” Tommy says, faux-pitying, as he rifles through the drawer of the side table, “You must be so pent up.”

Honestly, Buck’s just used to his marks not wanting to use condoms, and dealing with the potential fallout later. Still, he’s kind of disappointed when Tommy pulls them out of the drawer along with the lube packets.

“You’re adorable when you pout,” Tommy grins, pressing a sickly sweet kiss to Buck’s cheek, “I’m using a condom.”

“Fine,” Buck huffs, rolling his hips up into Tommy’s, “Just hurry.”

Tommy, thankfully, wastes no time in emptying a lube packet into his hand and swiping it up against Buck’s hole, slicking the way for his fingers. He’s clearly no slouch at this, either, thick fingers deftly opening him up beneath him, forearm muscles flexing so deliciously.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-fuck-fuck,” Buck says, squirming as Tommy slides his fingers in and out in intoxicating rhythm, “Fuck me, Tommy, Tommy—”

“Finally, you’re saying something worth listening to,” Tommy smiles against Buck’s neck, “Never thought I’d get to hear the great Evan Buckley beg for my cock.”

“It’s—ah—it’s a specialty,” Buck pants, rolling his hips as he aches for more, for a harsh little sting, for something to distract him from the way this is starting to feel too much like intimacy and not enough like fucking.

“Maybe I’d like to hear some more,” Tommy says, pulling away to roll a condom on and slick himself up.

Buck, suddenly cold and empty, lets the words fall unabashed from his mouth. “Oh, please, Tommy, I’ll make it so good for you, it’ll feel so good, just need you in me, just need—”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Tommy says, just on the wrong side of tender, “I know what you need. Hold still for me.”

And then there’s the thick press of Tommy’s cock against Buck’s hole. Tommy slips in with a stretch that has Buck mewling something embarrassing in the back of his throat, and leans forward as he slides deeper, inch-by-burning-inch, encouraged by the way Buck grips at his biceps.

“Breathe,” Tommy says as he bottoms out, at which point Buck realizes he’s been stuck with his head tipped back and mouth open. He sucks in a gasping breath, relaxing under Tommy’s bulk. Tommy is warm above him again, haloed by the dim hotel light, so close Buck can feel his breath on his cheek.

“Move,” Buck demands, squirming. Tommy seems only too happy to oblige, mouth finding Buck’s again as he starts to roll his hips into him. It’s a slow, languid fuck, but still enough to have Buck seeing stars.

“This how you got all those people to tell you what they were up to?” Tommy asks, a hand roaming down to pinch Buck’s nipple, coaxing a groan out of him. “You’d just lay here all pretty and let them take what they wanted?”

“Nnnnngh—usually they wanted me on top,” Buck says around a reedy moan, “But yeah, that’s the general idea.”

“You take it so well,” Tommy murmurs, snapping his hips in with just a little more force, “Makes me wonder how many times you’ve done this before. How many times you begged on your knees—how many times you’ve been a slut for terrible people.”

“You’re in perfectly fine company, I can assure you,” Buck says, trying to regain some of his composure, “Art thieves, mob bosses, hackers. You work with monsters every day, why can’t I sleep with them?”

“I’ll have you know that the monsters I work with are working for the greater good,” Tommy says, with a huffed laugh, “And if you keep talking about them I’m not going to let you finish.”

“Oh, you’re not going to let me?” Buck says, “I’ll have you know I’m perfectly capable of taking what I want, too.”

“I’m sure you are, stud,” Tommy says, in that same condescending tone of voice that goes right to Buck’s dick. He fucks into him harder, right at the perfect angle, and Buck can’t help the pathetic moan that spills out of his mouth.

“You—were—talking—a little—too much,” Tommy grunts between thrusts, slamming into Buck again, and again, “Just lay back—and fucking take it.”

Like Buck could ever want to do anything else. He’s well aware of the fucked-out little uh, uh, uh noises that Tommy’s forcing out of him, but he’s far too gone to be embarrassed about it. This is the best fuck he’s had in years, he could care less what he sounds like or looks like right now.

Not that Tommy seems to mind. If anything, given the way he’s latched onto Buck’s neck like a goddamn vampire, he likes that Buck’s a writhing mess beneath him. Buck’s nerves are lit up, from the pain of Tommy’s less-than-gentle biting, from the way Tommy nails Buck’s prostate with every thrust, from the skin-on-skin he hasn’t had in so long.

His orgasm sneaks up on him. Usually, he’s a lot better about announcing it, giving his partners time to decide what they want, but Tommy is—Tommy is grunting and his back muscles are flexing under Buck’s fingers and his cock fills him so beautifully and Buck didn’t even think he could come without something on his dick, but—

Belatedly, as Buck rockets towards the clouds, he realizes that maybe there is something special about Agent 217. 

Buck comes down slowly, to the feeling of hands gently petting his sides, and a softening dick sliding out of his ass. It’s gross, leaves him feeling sticky and a little used, but he can’t bring himself to care that much about it at all. To his complete shock, he feels Tommy rummaging around for something, and then the soft cotton of his shirt wiping the cum off of his stomach, and the lube from his ass.

“It’s okay, Evan,” Tommy says, gentle, soft, “You can rest.”

Buck, despite every ounce of self-preservation that says he’s leaving himself completely vulnerable, does.

He wakes to an empty room. Nothing seems amiss, so despite the deep humiliation and regret, Buck packs his things (luckily, finding his hiding spots untouched) and heads back to the rendezvous point.

Athena is waiting for him at the café, in streetwear that looks unnaturally casual on her. “Got everything?”

“Check and check,” Buck says, handing her the dossier, “Got some lovely pictures. The sunset was especially gorgeous last night.”

“You sound like you could use a tea with lemon and honey,” Athena winces, “You coming down with something?”

“No,” Buck says, fighting against the urge to flush.

Athena passes him a knowing smile over her coffee. “Thanks for this, Buck. I’ll let Bobby know you came through, and he’ll want to meet with you later. I think we’re getting close.”

“Good,” Buck sighs, “I can’t wait for this whole mess to be over. I never thought I’d say this, but it would be nice to do some paperwork for once.”

[elsgooglyeyes]

hello everyone. long LONG time no see, but i'm back on my bullshit. here's an excerpt from a story i've been pondering over recently.

for context: joel and ellie took you in when you were 15, blah blah lots of lore. long story short, you end up in jackson with them, you and ellie are 18, almost 19, and unfortunately...you've fallen in love with her. ellie williams. your best friend. oh my god. good luck babe!

summary: you have morning coffees with joel almost every morning, and your feelings for ellie are causing quite the inner turmoil...here's you confiding in joel who has become a father to you. longing. yearning. fatherly love. sarcasm. friends to lovers. the whole shabang.

a/n: i fear this is mostly self indulgent as someone apart of the dead dad club LMFAOO

wc: 2.1k

As you step outside, the early fall air immediately wakes you up slightly as it wicks through your thin clothes. You wrap your free arm around your torso, warm coffee mug in the other as you walk through the side yard of Joel's house. Your feet crunch against the dying grass as you exhale shakily. As you turn the corner, you immediately spot Joel already sitting in his respective chair on the porch. You smile softly as you approach the steps, directing the smile towards him.

Joel looks up as you approach, a familiar warm smile gracing his lips. He tilts his head in acknowledgment, his eyes still weary from sleep.

"Mornin'," he grunts, his voice still rough from waking up. He gestures to the chair beside him, silently inviting you to join. You slowly walk up the porch steps, sleep still taking toll on your body, causing you to move groggily. The sun rises, peeking out behind some clouds, providing you with a bit of warmth from the crisp air.

"Morning," you grumble in return, sitting down on the chair beside him, bringing a knee to your chest and immediately taking a sip of your coffee. You sigh as the hot liquid falls down your throat, warming you up from the inside.

Joel chuckles softly at your grumble, well aware and used to your morning moodiness. He also takes a sip of his coffee, savoring the bitter taste before speaking, "Rough start to the day?" he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Always," you mumble softly, taking another sip, desperate to wake up some more. A soft wind blows, causing the wind chimes to play their familiar music.

Joel grins wryly and nods, settling back into his chair. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the only sounds now being the wind chimes and the faint chirping of birds in the distance. This routine has become sacred to both of you, getting to sit together before the hustle and bustle of the day, just enjoying the other's presence. While the mornings are usually peaceful, your thoughts begin to cloud your mind as soon as your brain wakes up even the tiniest bit. Eventually, Joel breaks the silence, his voice gruff but gentle.

"Seems like fall's finally making its way in," he observes, glancing around, feeling the chill of the air envelope him. You nod in agreement, grimacing. "Unfortunately...it's too damn cold. I'm still not used to it being this cold this early in the year"

Joel nods, a knowing look in his eyes. "Hm," he hums, "sometimes I forget you grew up mainly in the deep south. Your body's built for the warmth, I reckon. You're in for a rude awakening, ain't nothin' quite like a northern fall–or winter, for that matter. It'll get pretty damn harsh up here."

You groan, this is your first winter in Jackson, and while you're grateful to finally have a bed to sleep in and a stable roof over your head, you can't help but feel a little upset at how cold it'll get.

"Can't wait..." you retort sarcastically and take another sip, sighing softly. Joel snorts, a dry chuckle escaping his lips, "Oh you’re just a ray of sunshine this morning, ain't ya? Even more so than usual," he teases, a glint of amusement in his eyes. You chuckle in response, shaking your head, letting out a soft groan.

"Sorry. I'm just thinkin'. Kinda too lost in thought to be the greatest of company this morning." Joel notices the change in your demeanor, your usual early morning grumbles making way for something a little deeper, and his rugged features soften.

He looks over your face, taking note of your slightly furrowed brows and frown. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I don't know if I can even tell you these thoughts for a quarter," you attempt to joke, but it falls flat. Clearly whatever you're thinking about is taking over your entire mind. However, Joel still cracks a wry smile, appreciating the attempt and nods at you.

"Try me," he says. "Though I can't say I guarantee a quarter's worth of wisdom, but I'm listenin'."

His words bring a sort of peace to your anxious mind, yet the thoughts still linger. You sigh softly and groan, putting your face in your free hand, your other tightening its grip on your mug. Joel watches you closely, noticing your clear frustration. His expression turns more serious, sensing that whatever you're grappling with isn't something lighthearted.

"C'mon, kiddo," he coaxes, his voice gentle but firm. "Out with it." You attempt to disguise your frustration with a forced smile and a wave of your hand, but Joel just smirks at you, knowing you well enough to see through your playful facade.

"Nuh uh," he shakes his head, leaning forward slightly in his chair and takes another sip of coffee, sighing. "That ain't gonna work on me and you know it. What's bothering you?" You roll your eyes playfully, cursing his stubbornness and protectiveness. You squint your eyes slightly and look out onto the street ahead of you, listening to the wind chimes. Eventually, you take a deep breath and open your mouth to begin talking.

"I've got these..." you gesture with your free hand, attempting to find the right words for your inner turmoil, but to no avail, "feelings." You shake your head and take another sip, eyes trained on the street, "I don't know..." You shake your head.

Joel notices your struggle to find the words, his hard gaze unwavering and attentive. He also takes a sip of coffee before setting the mug down on the table between you, looking over at you.

"Feelings, huh? 'Bout what exactly?" He probes gently, his voice filled with patience for you. You close your eyes and sigh, "Who is the better question." You mumble quietly, a part of you hoping he didn't even hear you. However, he did, of course. His brow furrows momentarily, leaning back in his chair, shifting his gaze to try and catch your eye, a small smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

"Who, huh?" He echoes, his voice gravelly, "lemme take a guess..." You roll your eyes. There's not a chance in hell he knows who you're talking about, because it's absurd. You finally shift your eyes back to him, "You'll never guess," you murmur.

Joel chuckles deeply, "Oh you underestimate me, kid," he retorts, the smirk in the corners of his lips deepening. "I know you well enough to take a pretty educated guess." You draw your eyebrows together and look at him, silently challenging him to guess. He takes a moment to consider, his keen eyes studying your expression, and his eyes crinkle.

"Alright," he begins slowly, clearing his throat. "Let me throw out a name." You shrug, taking a sip, confident he'll say some girl you've talked to twice, or even a boy you've mentioned in passing. He looks out at the street, mirroring your early actions before tilting his head, his eyes locked onto yours as he prepares to make his guess. He takes a deep breath, his voice steady and sure.

"Ellie," he says firmly, his eyes unwavering as he gauges your reaction, his eye crinkling more as his smirk deepens into a smug smile. You choke on the coffee you're in the middle of swallowing, coughing as you hear her name fall from his lips, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Gotcha, didn't I?" He teases, his smile turning into a full blown grin as he looks at your shocked and confused face. "Don't look so shocked, kid. You're not exactly subtle."

Your eyebrows furrow as you look between his eyes, "What?" If Joel was able to notice, does that mean...?

He interrupts your thoughts with a husky laugh, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "You think I haven't noticed how you look at her? How you've been looking at her? For years?" He chuckles again and tilts his head at you, "It's pretty obvious, even to an old fart like me."

You groan and place your coffee down on the table, resting your elbows on your knees and burying your face in your hands. "How long have you known?" You mumble into your hands, though you're almost too afraid to know the answer. He hums thoughtfully, "How long?" He repeats, scratching his bearded chin, "hmmm, let me think..." He pretends to count the days out on his fingers, a deliberate slowness to his movements.

"Well, let's see," he says, drawing out each word with his southern drawl, "I think I've known for...oh, I dunno, about a year now.' You raise your head out of your hands and look at him in bewilderment, "Joel...you're lying."

He grins back at you, "Why would I lie about this, kiddo?" You lean back into your chair, rubbing your hand over your face, mumbling an "oh my god."

Joel laughs heartily, finding your flustered state amusing, "Oh c'mon, don't look so horrified," he teases, "it ain't as bad as you're makin' it out to be." You shoot your eyes over to him, shaking your head, "Joel, she's my best friend."

Joel nods in understanding, his expression softening as he looks at your anxious state. "Oh, I know," his voice losing some of the teasing edge from earlier, gentleness taking over, "but feelings ain't always that simple, are they? Feelings are complicated," he reassures, "and when it comes to best friends," he whistles lowly, "well, it'll complicate things even more."

You look up at the porch ceiling, moving to pick up your forgotten coffee and take a long sip, grimacing as it's turned slightly cold. You sigh and look back at him with pleading eyes.

"What am I supposed to do? I thought they'd go away a long time ago but..." you trail off, searching his eyes for his wisdom.

"I wish I had a simple answer for you, darlin'. Feelings aren't always something you can just make disappear. Believe me, I know that all too well." He squints his eyes as he looks out.

"You're no help." You grumble, taking a sip of your now cold coffee. He chuckles softly, the warm sound rumbling in his chest as he raises his hands in mock defense.

"Hey, I never said I was an expert on relationships. Just an old man trying to give his two cents." You chuckle in response and take a deep breath. You're afraid to ask this next question, but it's been gnawing in the back of your mind, "Do you think she knows?" Your voice soft, wincing a little bit as you look down at your coffee.

He ponders your question for a moment, his expression thoughtful as he genuinely tries to come up with an answer, he sighs lowly before answering, "Can't say for sure...Ellie's a smart kid, and she knows you like the back of her hand. But sometimes...feelings can be hard to pick up on, even for the smartest of us." You nod slowly, swirling your coffee in its mug.

"That's what I was afraid of...sometimes I'm scared she can see right into my soul." You chuckle dryly. He lets out a soft laugh, appreciating your lighthearted attempt to play it off, "Yeah she's got a way of seein' through people, doesn’t she? Can't hide much from her, you included."

You groan again, throwing your head back to slump into the chair. "Don't say that. You're supposed to say: 'Oh don't worry, she's completely oblivious and has absolutely no idea you're madly in love with her'" You mimic in his deep southern voice.

Joel can't help but let out a hearty laugh at your imitation of his southern voice. He grins widely, clearly amused by your mockery.

"Alright, alright," he chuckles, reaching up to scratch his beard. "Lemme try again." He clears his throat and puts on his best serious face.

"Darlin', she ain't got a clue," he says in his gravelly voice, suppressing a smirk. "Oblivious as can be."

You smile at him, appreciating his efforts to make you feel better, even if they aren't exactly true. He returns your smile and chuckles, "Hope that's of some help. Though I gotta say," He leans toward you, his voice lowering, "your impression could use some work."

You laugh, feeling put at ease by his familiar teasing, "No...I don't think it does. It's pretty spot on actually," you quip back, causing another gruff laugh to fall from his lips. "If you say so, kid."

You smirk at him and open your mouth to retort back but are cut short by the sound of the door to you and Ellie's shed creaking open, cutting through the relative silence of your surroundings.

"Speak of the Devil," he smirks at your automatic body response of slumping further down into the chair. "C'mon now, you can play it cool. You're tough."

You groan softly, "Im not the same girl you took in when I was fifteen," you whine softly, "I've lost my edge!" You slowly sit up as you hear her footsteps approaching from the side of the house, shooting him a look, "Not a word," you warn him, pointing at him. He raises his hand and pretends to zip his mouth shut as Ellie rounds the house, giving you both a sleepy nod and a grumbled, "morning." Her eyes lighting up when she sees you.

okay that's all you get. love y'all xoxo.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Good People (Platonic)

Summary: While in the Wasteland, running on nothing but fumes and even less hope, you meet someone. Someone who might just be the one thing you need in a place like this: a friend.

Note: This is shorter than my usual stuff (both in terms of words, probably, and also just in terms of content - more so a scene than anything else; maybe a series of short scenes showing Lucy's arc if you guys want and how her friendship with Y/N develops?) Let me know in an ask!

You were a survivor. You had been since the moment you were born, but you weren't sure how much longer that was going to last.

Your day hadn't started off good, you see. You were running out of water and had passed out earlier due to some kind of infection - no idea what it was or who/what it was from, you had come across a lot of beings and things in your travels - and some guy had thought you were dead and even pissed on you just in case. Was not refreshing, or nice.

You had fought him off, tackling him to the floor and punching him quite a few times. You didn't kill him, however. You just left him be after that.

An odd fellow with a briefcase who promise you everything you could ever want passed you by. He gave you something that gave you a boost. You had no caps, so the only piece of fluid you had left on you - your water container - was given to him in exchange for this item.

So, now you were even more screwed then before.

The man even seemed to somewhat pity you, but he still left.

You find an abandoned bus. It's been picked, recently or otherwise doesn't really matter, picked clean is picked clean. Or, well, as clean as you can get within the apocalypse.

"Hello?" a voice says. You spin around, reaching for a weapon you don't have as you lost it in the scuffle before, and so instead duck down - hitting your head on one of the seats.

You hear the person outside cringe.

"Sorry," she says, earnestly to your shock, "that sounded like it hurt."

"...It did," you find yourself saying in reply, but still keep your head done.

"Sorry," she says, again, "it's ok," she assures you, "I won't hurt you. I promise."

You peak your head up. The first thing you notice, is how clean she looks. She gives you a bright smile.

"Hi," she says, enthusiastically.

You just blink at her.

"It's ok," she assures again, "my weapon is away. I just - I just wanna talk. I'm a bit lost out here give, you know, everything is mainly just sand."

You guess that's fair. So, against your better judgment, you make your way to the stairs at the bus, and sit down. The woman sits down, letting out a sigh, glad to be able to rest for a moment.

She stretches. You adjust your neck. You must've slept funny.

"I'm Lucy," she says, holding out a hand to you.

"Y/N," you say, shaking her hand. Feels weird, being this open with someone.

"Y/N," she says, "that's a nice name. I never knew someone called Y/N before."

You're about to ask her why, when you see what she's wearing.

You whistle, or as best you can with a dry throat, it's croaky but the idea comes through, "you one of them Vault Dwellers?"

"I am," she says, and you're unsure if it's a proud statement or not, "but, I do also recognise my privilege for being one."

You hum, "how you finding up here?"

"Hot," she says, "we have air conditioning in the vaults. So, it's weird not being able to just turn down the temperature."

You chuckle. She smiles.

"Thank you for not trying to kill me."

You gesture to yourself, "don't exactly have anything to do that with, you know? Besides, you're not a bad person. I've met some bad people, you ain't one of them."

"Thank you. I knew there were good people out here."

You shrug, "I don't think I'm exactly 'good', but I've known worse."

"Well, I'm glad I've run into you. You're alot nicer than the previous man I met."

"Yeah, there'll be people like that..." you pause, then ask the question on your mind, "what brings you top side, Lucy?"

"Oh," there's a hint of hope, mixed with sadness in her eyes while she answers, "I'm looking for my dad. Some horrible woman called Moldaver took him. She steals dads."

You may internally find that last part funny, but you find yourself saying 'I'm sorry' to her about her plight. She thanks you once again.

"You're not crazy like that other man."

She's blunt, you'll give her that.

"I can be," you don't quite know why you're insulted by it.

She cocks her head to the side, "I'm good at reading people," you aren’t sure on that one, but you don't say anything, "and you're not like that previous man."

"What'd he do?"

"Drank most of my water. You ever met anyone like that?"

"Guy pissed on me this morning. Another stole my canteen."

"Oh..." Lucy says. You nod, expecting this to be the end of your conversion, but then she reaches behind herself for something. Instinct makes you freeze, but she just gives you a reassuring smile once again, and holds something out to you.

Her own canteen.

You look at her, doubt, confusion, and thanks all in your eyes at once.

"Take it," she insists, shaking it a little to tell you that there is still water inside it, "I mean it."

"But, that other man --"

"He's greedy. You aren't. And, judging by your lips, rough voice, inability to whistle, and slight grovel to your voice, and the way you hold yourself," perceptive too, "you need this more than I do."

"You sure?" she nods. Hesitantly, looking from her to the canteen as you reach out - her leaning forward to help you with your lack of energy due to dehydration and all - you grab it. It's not harsh, you don't rip it out of her grasp. Your actions are slow, deliberate.

You open it, and lift it up to your mouth, letting a few water droplets hit it.

You close it and give it back to her. But she pushes it to you again. This goes on a few more times.

"I meant what I said," she says, "take it."

You look around at the desert, "next water well won't be for a while."

She shrugs, "there's a town nearby. There should be some there. But, either way, you need this a lot more than I do."

You drink the rest of it. And, you feel ok. Not great, but better.

You cough a bit. Both due to whatever illness you have, and just from the water and how fast you drank it.

"That's a bad cough," she notes, taking the canteen back.

"Ah, it's nothing," you say, waving her off. Had worse infections.

You stand up, and she holds her hands out in case you fall. You put a hand up, telling her you're ok.

"Well," you say, "thank you for that, and the talk. Good people are few and far between. Best of luck --"

"Hey, wait!" she calls out as you start to walk away, "wait, please. Maybe - maybe you can help me."

"I ain't exactly much help given the lack of weapons, strength, and my illness."

She frowns, "well, once we find my dad, we can go back to my vault, we have doctors there who can help you and give you a good meal!"

She's preppy, but soon that softens in her eyes, "please...I can stop people from...urinating on you."

You snort at her disgust of the language. She has a lot to learn. Social ettiquite may exist in some places in the wasteland, but not everywhere.

"Well, when you put it like that..." you say, before smiling. She beams at you.

"Okey Dokey!" she exclaims.

"Okey Dokey!" you find yourself saying in kind, not mocking for once - you and your mouth had gotten you into trouble before, it was nice to not have some agenda with it this time. To let your guard down.

"Have you ever been to Filly before?" she asks you as you walk side by side. Though, she slows up a bit as you try and both get your strength back and keep your remaining bit.

"Once or twice when passing through," you say.

"Alrighty then," she says, glad to not be going in completely blind, "'this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.'" she says to you, clearly quoting something, based on her voice. You look at her confused.

"I'll show you the film when we're back at the vault," she says, before you continue on your way.

It's good to meet someone who didn't want to kill you on sight or extort you or something.

It was nice to not be alone anymore.

Lucy feels the same way. She has a sort of guide now. A friend.

An actual friend from the outside.

She's glad.

And, little did she know how right she'd be. It would be a friendship that would stand the test of time and everything in between.

Lucy had just met her best friend.

You had met yours.

Even if you both didn't know just how dark and dangerous the road ahead would get...

Part 2

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hello!! I just started reading your works recently and I think it's safe to say that I have fallen in love with them <3 the way you write both the cod guys and the reader feels so real and poetic that I just, eat it up everytime. I read your Barbarian! König post and it got me thinking about something.

König and Ghost are kinda opposites when it comes to their darlings. König likes darlings fiesty and snippy but Ghost likes his darlings as more agreeable or soft but not weak, ykwim??

And it got me thinking about Barbarian! Ghost. Whereas König got his darling bc he killed her husband and she was there when it happened, I see Ghost as going to take one girl originally but then the darling steps in front of said girl and says to take her instead, saving the girl and sacrificing herself. Idk but I think he would be very attracted to that, and unlike König who gently picks you up and puts you upon his horse while you kick and bite him, Ghost grabs you and lays you stomach first against his horse harshly, keeping a sturdy hand on your back as he rides away.

Sorry if this is weird or ooc!! But it was just a thought that came to me!

Oh Barbarian!Ghost would be sooo disinterested on the outside. He only saves her ass discreetly, but saves it more than enough times to spark her curiosity.

Why does he come to her rescue and then abandons her to her own devices?

CW: Minor violence (bruises), noncon groping, fear of SA, blood, cuddling & snuggling, Ghost being a complex PTSD weirdo who has a fascination towards bones.

It’s actually she who approaches him first, not the other way around. He allows her to seek protection by staying near him and thus get the others off her back: he might even throw her a piece of roasted lamb as if she were some stray cat, lurking about his campfire. But there’s not much more than that on offer for her: only a few sideways glances that tell her he regards her mostly as a nuisance and a liability, accompanied by a few scrap bones that luckily have some meat and fat still on them.

He shows her how to snap the bigger ones in half to get to the life saving marrow, and that’s when she realizes he regards her a bit dumb, some pretty royal girl who doesn’t know how to survive without a man.

And who’s to blame for all that? Clever men who have forced her to learn poetry and songs, pluck chords and recite philosophers from memory. No one ever even taught her how to ride a horse, the only things she can do is chat about the latest political turns and whether it’s old-fashioned to style your hair Southern style.

Now she’s supposed to strike a conversation with a barbarian who dresses in furs and wool, who collects the knuckles of his fallen enemies and looks at her like she’s the uncivilized one here. He probably plays dice with those bones, and she’s never seen him force a woman under him; she’s never seen him take a woman at all.

He’s probably half dead already, some ghoul raised to ravage this earth. But everytime she gets drooled over or spat upon, groped or squeezed or slapped on the soft flesh of her butt, she makes her way to him and only him. To become one with the shadows too, or to disappear, perhaps.

He gives her his biggest, thickest pelt to wrap around her shoulders, to cover those assets that make these wartorn men so crazy. Or then he doesn’t want to find her frozen to death at dawn... Dark, vast eyes look at her in the early morning fog, up from above from the highest heights, as if asking why she overslept again.

A rabbit is thrown at her feet, but she doesn’t know what to do with it: she knows he wants her to skin it, yes, but how? Even with the knife he provides her, she can only stare at the soft creature helplessly, lick her dry, creaky lips until he sighs and comes to wrench the blade away, taking the hare before it turns too stiff.

She’s almost certain he’s not even interested in women until one day, someone goes a bit too far and grabs a handful of her to squeeze. The spitting, jerking and screaming turn into a whole fistfight until she gets drawn to her knees by her hair. He’s about to rip her scalp off, of that she is sure from how much it burns.

Tears stream down her face from pure pain alone, but this time, the bone marrow man doesn’t only save her. He walks to the scene like a shadow, yanks her gropers head back, and slits his throat right then and there. The others take a few steps back, mist rises from their gaping mouths as he lets go of the bleeding slump, looking at the pulsing, open vein as if he intends to drink from it. But it seems he only wanted to confirm that the dead stay dead because his interest in this man fades as quickly as it was aroused.

She rises to her feet, only to get swept off them as he dives for her hips and raises her to a crude carry, mainly meant for wheat sacks and sheep.

With a wide palm resting on her butt, he hauls her back to his fire, further away from the open field, and she doesn’t dare to utter a word. He doesn’t squeeze her, he doesn’t grope or slap or force her, but he does throw the fur away from her shoulders to check her body for bruises. She stays silent for the whole inspection as he moves her joints and limbs to check if anything’s broken, carefully like she indeed was only a little lamb. Brushes the pads of his fingers across the darkening spots that tell a story of violence, and it makes her shiver.

They’re just bruises, but they’re also evidence that her body is not her own anymore. Still, this clinical inspection feels far more intimate and warm than the rough hands and demanding mouths from before: it’s not just the intention behind the touch, it’s his presence.

You’ve never felt so thoroughly seen.

A low rumble rises in agreement to you taking his probing so well, and you kind of wish he would hold you tonight.

Just… Hold you.

When he withdraws, content with finding you relatively intact after the attempted assault, you grab his wrist. His head snaps back instantly, but he doesn’t pry himself away from your insolent little fingers. If anything, he’s curious.

You don’t know his words, and he doesn’t know yours, so you decide it’s best not to speak at all.

Pulling his palm back, you bring it to your hip, then further up to your waist, trying to make it clear that it’s only closeness and body warmth you seek. You leave it there, and it stays there, out of its own free will. A thumb brushes over your ribs, explorative. His eyes travel, they move down the line of your neck and try to decide what you might want from him, but then you see the fathomless depths he’s been hiding. His eyes come alive, and there’s such darkness there, an unquenchable well of want that shoots fear straight down your stomach.

You were wrong about him, so wrong…

He’s not disinterested, he’s just been holding back a tide as if it’s no big deal to fight back the very gods on his own.

His palm feels like fire, but he doesn’t move, only battles with his demons for a while. You lie there before him, feeling utterly idiotic for thinking he’s different from the rest of the men.

But then… The fur gets drawn over your half naked body. Slowly, deliberately. He’s not reverent: he only knows the consequences of his actions, and this is a path he does not wish to take.

It doesn’t prevent him from laying himself down to sleep next to you, however.

It doesn’t prevent you from slowly reaching an arm around him, the rigid form that slowly, so slowly turns lax. You risk to curl against him: not safe, only warm. A stray royal cat and a ghoul who collects bones, you think, but then the ghoul sighs and turns. You should feel rejected from the way he presents his back to you, but you suspect that it has something to do with him coming alive downstairs.

And you cling to him.

He doesn’t rip you off of him as you slip a hand under his arm and bend against him, like a river otter who just found a fat clam. His solemn breaths lull you to sleep, and he stays still for you: all night until the birds start to sing and the sun warms your face, the whole heap of you two.

Like a big pile of snow, melting on a summer’s day…

[vhstown]

'til the breath returns

— hobie brown x gn!reader (dissociation comfort)

summary: It's hard to stay in your own body sometimes. At least Hobie's right there with you.

warnings: v self-indulgent (so may not be a very accurate depiction of dissociation erm...), dissociation / derealisation / depersonalisation (those terms are distinct but just in case :p), anxious behaviour, hurt/comfort-ish, hobie is trying his best? (he's not ur therapist but it's okay) & not proofread

word count: 1.9k

a/n: been struggling to get out of a dp/dr funk recently so. here we are! no gif lemme keep this one on the down-low fr 😭 img is of camden town from pinterest

🕸️📞🎸

"Hello? Hello...?"

The muscles in your shoulders tightened at the sound of the voice, obscurely louder than anything else around you — around you being the market, that was. Just how long had you been here?

You felt a burning ache in your eyes as you looked around, taking in the blur around you before meeting the expression of the man in front of you. The owner of the food truck, of course. He had an impatient look on his face, but it was too much detail to be anxious about.

"Sorry, uh..." you offered quietly, cut off by another loud voice behind you.

"Just hurry up and pay, mate! We haven't got all day!"

Your jaw tensed, crunching uncomfortably as you fumbled for something in your pockets. Trying to find cash of some sort, the world became still again, and you could barely register what they were saying before you put whatever you could find on the window sill of the truck.

Something that sounded unpleasant, another shout, maybe, followed behind you as you walked out into the open pavements of the market. Your hands felt funny, breath dry and head heavy and so light at the same time. It felt like you were floating, but also sinking so deep under water you were moving slow motion against the thick water. It was somewhat comforting, that image.

Maybe you should just sit down, let yourself fall backwards and sink. Maybe you'd wake up in bed, and fully be able to open your own eyes again. When was the last time you could do that? When was the last time you woke up? This morning, surely. It seemed so far away; maybe you should walk home, find home — it was somewhere near here. Where were you walking?

Why was the ground getting so close to your face—

"Hey, hey! Oi!"

Before your weight could fall forward anymore, you felt a hand move around your stomach. Tongue stinging too, you realise you'd bitten it. The urgent touch became more gentle, as the haste wore off and you were helped to your feet. You tried to pick up the sounds to form a "thank you", but all you could do was stare strangely as you met a face you could just about recognise.

"Don't mean to scare you, darling."

It was your boyfriend, is what you told yourself. Hobie.

"Didn't get your change..." He held out the coins in his hand, some of which were probably already yours . "And you're trippin' over yourself."

It would sound too weird if you tried to laugh, so you didn't bother.

"My bad, just out of it." Right, is what he must've thought.

"Been out of it for a while, huh?" He taps your cheek twice, bringing your attention to him. You hadn't realised you'd been staring dead straight into his chest — not anywhere near his face. "Your patty's all squashed, love."

His fingers moved gently between yours, prying the poor warm paper from your hand. The patty you had bought had started to singe the tips of your fingers, and the tips of your fingers had already broken apart the bread of the patty.

You didn't have much will to complain, but the corners of Hobie's mouth turned down in a frown. He took your hand, the pad of histhumb brushing the lingering heat off of your fingers

"What's going on? You hungry? Tired? Upset...?" All you could give him was a useless shrug — it'd probably be easier to fix if you could describe it; if only. "Hm..."

The back of his hand was cold against your forehead. Or maybe you were cold; he never really got cold after all.

"You wanna go home?"

"Hm?" you murmured, Hobie observing you. You weren't supposed to go home; you'd get over it. Fresh air and a walk was supposed to help, anyway — not like it was. "Thought you wanted to stay."

"We can always come back another time. You don't look like you're enjoying yourself."

His hand moved to your shoulder, brushing his lips over your forehead. It was definitely you that was cold.

"I think you should have my patty, too," he added, placing his in your hand.

Arm moving fully around your shoulder, the two of you started to walk back.

"It'll be warm out, soon," Hobie comments, as if trying to be inconspicuous. He pulls you closer to mams for a lady walking her dogs: little white lap dogs that turned their heads to look at you, or maybe Hobie. You tried to remember if the last time you saw them was today or last week.

"Ah, yeah..." you said, realising he was waiting for you to say something — something of more substance, probably.

"Sure bloody hope so," he continued, something like humour in his voice. "Been freezing my bum off for the past month."

Your steps felt big against the ground, like the ground was pushing back up, and you were going to float away if Hobie let you go. All you could do was just hope he didn't.

"It better not rain, though. I'll go mad if it does. Nothing's good in the rain, 'specially not food. Meant to have a street party soon."

Remembering the patty in your hand, you took a bite before Hobie had to remind you. It was veg — not beef like he'd usually have. In fact, he complained about the veg usually. Still, today, he'd wanted a veg patty. You held onto that fact like it was the first thing you'd ever been told, as you walked together.

As he continued talking, you had reached the riverside. It looked onwards to the canal, the water coloured by the orange sun. Everything always looked so different on the way back; the air was still, and it was evening by now.

"Mine or yours?" Hobie asks, as you reach the by-street.

"Mine, if you come with me."

"I ain't gonna leave you behind, or nothin'."

He cracks a smile, and you reach for his hand time time as you took the turn to your home. There were shops that passed by, but you didn't pay enough attention to figure out what they were.

And you weren't sure when you ended up in bed, probably after making conversation for a bit and changing, because you were now in your own bed, arms and legs and Hobie's chest encasing you in a relaxed hug. You were wearing a shirt that fit weirdly on you. It was likely his — the one shirt he had without lint on it. His head wasn't entirely on your shoulder, but he was close enough to press a kiss to your temple — it left a warm, tingling feeling, as did the rest of his weight against you.

"Is there something wrong specifically?" he asks, voice a quiet, smooth vibration next to you.

"Dunno, I just... feel weird. Mentally, I mean," you admit, turning your head to lean it against his. "I think this is helping, though."

"Yeah? You want me to do anything else?" You just wanted to keep yourself awake; you wanted to keep hearing his voice.

"Want to hear you talk more."

"As long as you talk as well." Your quiet sigh was audible enough to him, it seemed. "C'mon love, you've gotta talk, or you'll be stuck up there forever."

With your demeanor seeming to give up with you, he pressed another kiss to your face, near the corner of your mouth this time. It usually got a smile out of you, but you didn't know if you had the energy to. He lingered there, still.

"How about we start with right now?" he muttered, hand on your shoulder. "You gonna tell me about those new decorations in your room? Or all those new clothes in your closet? Or how your bathroom doesn't have the nice-tasting toothpaste anymore?"

"Hobie... What the hell..." You frowned. And then the smallest laugh escaped out of you, because you frowned, and then he laughed, because it was all he really needed.

"I'm serious, though. Let's start from the top?"

"Like... from when I was born?" That got a laugh out of him, thankfully. Your smile, though little, didn't seem to disappear just yet.

"Well, if you want," he replied, pulling his arms tighter around your sides. "I was thinking more like, this morning?"

This morning... A little worry creeped inside your stomach as you came to face how little you could really recount right now. The light brush of Hobie's thumb against your cheek kept you at bay, however, and you took in a deep breath.

"Well, today... we went to the market together," you started, taking his hand from your shoulder and holding it in your own. You toyed idly with his fingers, thumb brushing over his rings as your mind fell into blankness again.

"And it rained all morning," Hobie said, after a beat of silence, fingers gently squeezing yours.

"And... this little kid slipped in the mud," you murmured.

"Ah, he did. Rough, weren't it?"

"Mhm," you replied, and at the silence, you tried to continue. "Poor thing. His dad looked horrified."

The quiet chuckle against your back made your words seem somewhat more trustworthy, and you finally decided to just let yourself speak, about anything that came to mind.

"...And then we went to look at clothes. None of them were your size."

"Couldn't believe it..." Hobie commented, murmuring.

"And then we... got lost for a bit. Ended up in this shop that sold china."

"Oh yeah, there were those funny bird-lookin' ones."

"And then we walked around for a bit..."

Truthfully, he wasn't sure if it was actually helping or not, but at the very least, that fuzzy look in your eyes that scared him a bit had eased

"And now we're home," you concluded, and he kissed the side of your head as if to confirm.

"Yep. Where are we?" The question was pretty straightforward, but you took the chance to answer regardless.

"In my room... On my bed." The mattress creaked just a little as you readjusted your position, moving closer against him. "And I'm still with you."

"Uh-huh. Still here."

"It's getting dark out, though." Looking out at the dimming sky through your window, you took another breath in, not as deep as you would've liked.

"I can stay," Hobie reassured. His voice gave no reason for you to doubt it.

"Could you?"

"A hundred percent. Not a second I don't wanna spend with you."

Hobie brushed his nose against yours, before pressing a momentary kiss to your lips.

"Look," he started, voice low and soft, slightly more serious. "I'm not exactly sure how to help, but whatever you need, I'll be here."

Turning to face him again, you returned his kiss, holding it a little longer to feel the warmth of his lips against yours. Hobie held you like you were the world, and everything in it; if you didn't need to, at least you wanted to.

"Can we just keep talking?" Your voice sounded different, but not strange — a bit less tense, more certain.

"We can talk about anything you want; we've got all night."

You narrowed your eyes in thought for a moment, and he looked at you as if he already knew what you were thinking.

"...Could you scratch my back too?"

Hobie grinned, and so warmly — so easily. You felt a smile tug at your lips too, breath sinking back into your chest and the ever-present weight starting to lift from your body.

"Yeah, sweetheart — of course. Want me to switch the light off?"

You decided to nod, saving your words for when you finally laid in the darkness, curled up against him. Murmuring soft, yet sure words between each other, his fingers grazed your back in a gentle back-and-forth, and as your voice faded, he pressed another kiss to your forehead, pulling you further into him and the covers.

Breath quiet and even, you inevitably drifted into sleep. His hand was still on your back, feeling each breath of yours as it came and went, like the shore lapping against the land. And he'd breathe right with you, even when you couldn't hear him — even if he'd have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Always, he promised himself, and you. Always, until your breath returned — until you returned.

🕸️📞🎸

thank you for reading urrrr never written a comfort fic before n ik this is kind of diff but hopefully some of my usual stuff soon 🙏

rbs appreciated if u liked it, atsv masterlist here!

@phoenixinthefiles @qiupachups

[cheonsarchive]

Sunghoon | Unspoken

Pairing: Sunghoon x Fem!Reader

Genre: College!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive

Featuring: the rest of ENHYPEN, LE SSERAFIM, TXT, aespa

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive content, mentions of/implied sex (no explicit smut), reader is COMPLICATED (I'm sorry lmao), mentions of death

Summary: You expected your summer break to be all relaxed and cozy, that was until your best friend decided to confess to you out of the blue. Cue a chaotic summer full of complicated feelings, denial, miscommunication and even more pining for each other than before. Bonus: Jake giving decent advice for once!

Word Count: 18k (what)

Playlist: Ruelle - War of Hearts, Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo - Close, Lana Del Rey - Born To Die, Lostboycrow - Powers, Chase Atlantic - Meddle About, Aquilo - Losing You, Harry Styles - Falling

Author's Note: I rose from the dead to bring you a long awaited Sunghoon oneshot! I'm not too happy with it actually, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to Sunghoon and I feel like I can't reach his standard anyway, so whatever lol. The first confession scene was inspired by Little Women (recommendation!), because it was perfect and needed to be reproduced in an ENHYPEN context. I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️

If you want to be tagged in future ENHYPEN scenarios, let me know!

Masterlist

The ring of the bell that announced the end of the lesson made you slump in your seat in relief. You never anticipated the familiar buzzing noise more than today, the last class before the summer break being over making a wave of excitement rush through your body.

This semester had been absolute hell and you couldn’t wait for the break to start to be able to live with an empty head, at least for a couple of weeks, before you had to start studying again. You managed to hand in your last paper the day before, so you could officially call it a day once your last class was over and leave campus as fast as possible. Your friend Yunjin wasn’t as lucky, though.

“I’m so jealous of you, I really need to work on my time management.” Yunjin huffs in disappointment, still having to hand in two papers before she can start her summer break. You smiled apologetically at her.

“No need to be though, you’ll go to Italy soon and have the greatest time sipping Aperol Spritz in the sun while I will rot here without you,” you pointed out.

“Don’t say that, you will probably chill at Sunghoon’s pool every day anyway. Plus, we’re gonna have the road trip coming up at the end of the break, remember? That’s gonna be so much fun!” she chimed.

Ah yes, the road trip. Your friend group has decided to go to the countryside for a few days at the end of each summer break to detox once more from the city (and university) life before the next semester starts. It was Yunjin’s idea and ever since it was planned she kept talking about it nonstop.

“We’ll see about Sunghoon’s pool. If Yeji is being annoying again, we might have to move somewhere else. Sunghoon has been complaining about how she has recently become really obsessed with this one boy at school and wants to throw a pool party to invite him,” you laughed, reminiscing the phone call you had with Sunghoon the other day where he kept complaining for an hour straight how annoying it is to have a younger sibling going through puberty. When you had told him that he was like that as well once, he firmly denied it, being his usual stubborn self.

“She’s growing so fast! I wonder how protective Sunghoon will be once she actually starts dating.” Yunjin wiggles her eyebrows at you. You let out a dry chuckle in response, imagination running wild about how whiny he would be, pretending to be cold and scary when he was actually a soft, loving brother to Yeji.

“He will be the absolute worst.” You shook your head in amusement. You knew Sunghoon like the back of your hand, so you knew that he would absolutely freak out if a boy dared to hurt his little sister. It was probably a natural response, one you wouldn’t know as you don’t have any siblings, but he was exaggerating a bit. Sometimes you wondered if he just wanted to fit into the overprotective big brother trope.

“Hello ladies! What are we talking about?” Heeseung greeted after suddenly walking next to you. You smiled back at him and could see a familiar relief in his eyes, one that was probably coating all of your faces. Next semester would be Heeseung’s last one in college, so the pressure was on.

“Just how Sunghoon is going be the worst big brother once his sister starts dating.” Yunjin shrugged and Heeseung broke out in a chuckle because he definitely agrees. You almost felt bad for shading Sunghoon like that, but you enjoyed teasing him about it.

“Do I even want to know how this topic came up? There is more than enough time to shit-talk Sunghoon later, we should be discussing how excited we are for the summer break instead!” Heeseung jumped up and down and you realized just how giddy he was because he rarely acts this hyper.

“We were! It’s not that exciting for me though, because I’m not going to travel like you two,” you defended, making both of them exchange glances and scoff in unison.

“Please, you wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon anyway. It’s not like you don’t enjoy spending every day with him during summer break.” Yunjin laughed and you glared it her.

It was true, though. Sunghoon and you were inseparable like pen and paper ever since you were in middle school. You spent the majority of time at each other’s homes, to the point where you wondered which place you should actually call your home, his or your own? But during exam season, you usually spend less time with each other because you’re too busy studying. So it has become your ritual to spend the beginning of summer break together to make up for the lost time. It was easy too because that was usually the time everyone else travelled anyway.

The fact that you never grew tired of each other really amazed everyone around you. Rumors started spreading quickly that you might be secretly dating, or at least crushing on each other. You’ve always confidently turned down such rumors, but especially Heeseung and Yunjin persisted that something was going on between you two and loved teasing you about it.

“If it’s about what I think it is, I don’t want to hear it.” You warned, seeing the suggestive look in their eyes. You grew tired of always having to defend your friendship with Sunghoon. Maybe because deep down, there was some truth to it.

Sunghoon and you fit each other like a glove. You always knew what the other one thinks without having to articulate it, you can talk about everything without feeling judged and you balance each other out with your skills and knowledge.

It already started in middle school. Sunghoon was more skilled in creative subjects whereas you were good in trickier ones like mathematics or chemistry. You started tutoring each other quickly, which helped both of you get through high school. He helped you with your art projects whereas you explained his math homework to him.

Sunghoon was there during many difficult times as well. He was there when you experienced your first heartbreak, and he comforted you when your grandpa died who you cherished so deeply. Even years later, when you confessed that you’re still struggling with his death, Sunghoon was quick to drop everything and come over to you to help you get through it.

And if that wasn’t enough, Sunghoon also grew incredibly handsome as time passed. Puberty really turned him into the best version of himself and it was no wonder many girls at university swooned over him. So really, wasn’t he perfect boyfriend material?

“No.” You turned to Yunjin with a surprised face, confusion written over your features. “You finally need to confront your feelings. Even a blind person can see that the connection you have is more than just friendship.”

You rolled your eyes. There was nothing to confront in your opinion, which made you really question why they couldn’t just drop the topic. Though you sometimes wondered if the longing gaze from Sunghoon held more than you thought.

“Yeah whatever. Call me when you’ve handed in your papers!” You announced your departure, hugging Yunjin extra tight since you probably won’t see her again before her trip overseas. You promised to keep in touch before you separated from your friends to get on the bus to Sunghoon’s house. He didn’t have classes today, so he slept in and waited at home, promising you to celebrate the beginning of summer break with fresh watermelon.

“Lord have mercy.” You said with eyes as big as the watermelon in front of you. Sunghoon smiled cheekily, proudly presenting his purchase from the market. He posed like a model, and you slapped his arm playfully.

“That must have cost you a fortune.” You said feeling guilty, head dropping slightly. Sunghoon let out a tut at that.

“Don’t worry about it. Celebrating summer break is definitely worth it and much needed. I have to distract myself from wanting to curse at Professor Yoon.” Sunghoon exclaimed, the last part making you giggle quietly.

He expertly cut the watermelon in triangles and handed you a piece before sitting down opposite from you on the terrace. The sun had been cooking you and you wondered whether you will really survive a day at the pool. You really enjoyed spending time at Sunghoon’s house because of his big pool, but it stops being enjoyable once the temperatures hit a certain degree mark. The watermelon was not just needed as a way of celebrating, but also as a refreshment.

Once you took the first bite, you sighed in satisfaction, making Sunghoon suppress a laugh. You looked at him with a grim expression and cheeks stuffed like a squirrel.

“What?”

“Nothing, sounds like you really needed that one too. And you look cute with your mouth full.” He said, mimicking how your cheeks must have looked to him.

Yunjin and Heeseung might have classified that as flirting, but you knew Sunghoon was just bickering with you. He dropped comments like that from time to time, knowing you would always react with an annoyed expression.

“So, how is Yeji’s dating life going?” you taunted, trying to change the topic as you remembered the conversation you had with Yunjin and Heeseung earlier. Sunghoon’s smile dropped instantly and he groaned in annoyance.

“Don’t remind me. I told her to stay away from that prick but she is persistent.” He elaborated despite not wanting to have this conversation.

“You don’t even know him and call him a prick!” you laughed at your best friend being unreasonable, almost choking on your watermelon slice in the process. Sunghoon fixed you with a glare.

“I don’t have to know him to know he’s an idiot.” He defended but you could only raise a brow at him in response.

“Okay, you boy expert. You must know better.” You fake-praised but he brushed you off, taking another bite from his watermelon slice.

“I just want the best for my sister.” He said matter-of-factly, words almost unintelligible due to him chewing on his watermelon.

“I know, but you need to relax a little bit. Let her experience her first heartbreak if necessary and focus on your own miserable love life instead.” You joked, but Sunghoon grew tense upon hearing the second half of your sentence. He looked at you through his lashes, the way you acted completely unbothered by what you had just said irking him.

Once you finished eating you decided it would be too hot to stay outside, so you went to Sunghoon’s room to kill time. You plopped onto his bed while he was sorting some laundry, talking about everything and nothing. Unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon seemed stiff since earlier. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but you knew something was up with him today. It was like he was contemplating something.

For some reason, the topic of dating wouldn’t escape you today. Some time into the conversation, you drifted off to Yunjin’s boy escapades, laughing at the ridiculous stories she had told you.

You remembered Yunjin hooking up with that one guy from calculus, you guessed his name was Soobin, almost losing her virginity in a broom closet if it wasn’t for the janitor to catch them. She dropped him the moment she saw him drag another girl in said broom closet, able to imagine what was probably going on in there since she had first-hand experience. She never disclosed whether the janitor caught those two as well and you were oddly curious.

She started swiping on Tinder afterwards, meeting up with a guy whose name slipped from your memory, but you certainly remember the chaos that unfolded once she found out he was actually cheating on his girlfriend with her. For some reason, she was gravitating towards weird boys and she blamed it on them being Korean after a while.

So came Yunjin’s trip to Italy. It was honestly no surprise when she announced that she wants to start her “hot girl summer” experience with it. She started complaining about the lack of good-natured men around your campus and how she wants to try dating someone European. You started to question the intentions of her trip. Was it to relax and enjoy the Italian scenery, or was it to enjoy the Italian ‘scenery’?

“Maybe we should start our own hot girl and hot boy summer instead of being glued together all the time,” you fantasized absentmindedly, just the thought of it making you chuckle. You really weren’t the person to hit up strangers, and neither was he. Sunghoon tensed at your words, stopping in his tracks. His back was turned to you, but you could tell what you said stirred something in him. You patiently waited for his response, and he bit his lip, contemplating what to say.

“No, I don’t think that would be good.” he said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. His breathing halted the moment you suggested getting to know other people.

“Why is that? I think you need to let go of the mysterious handsome guy image and finally get laid again.” you laughed, slightly confused by his changing demeanor.

“I don’t want to hook up with random girls.” He stated. At first, you didn’t think much of it. Sunghoon never seemed that interested in dating. He did have a short fling with a girl named Eunchae when he entered college, but it ended with a lot of tears and refusal to meet someone new. He tried to hook up here and there, but that stopped after a while too and you figured he might want to wait for a real girlfriend, not just some one-night stands with strangers.

It didn’t strike you how serious he was being about this. So, when he turned around to look at you, the atmosphere in the room shifted. His gaze held something you had never seen before. His gaze held so much, in fact, that it made you nervous. And like many times before, Sunghoon didn’t need to speak up for you to know what he meant. But unlike many times before, what he was thinking made your blood run cold.

“No.” you immediately blurted, eyes going wide in shock.

“Y/N, listen.” He rushed out once you started to get up from the bed.

“No, no. Sunghoon, please don’t.” you tried to shield from him, hoping it was all a misunderstanding. But things like misunderstandings weren’t in your code.

“Y/N it’s no use. We finally need to talk about this.”

“I think I’m going to be sick, I better go home,” you said, feeling the sudden urge to flee from the situation. You almost sprinted to the door and Sunghoon tried to block you from leaving his room, but you pushed him away in panic. As stubborn as he is, Sunghoon followed you suit, and you were glad that you two were alone at his house right now, because you wouldn’t want Yeji or his parents to overhear this conversation.

“Y/N please listen to me. I’ve started liking you a while ago already and I never said anything because I thought it wasn’t mutual. But sometimes I-… I just-… I got the feeling that we might have a chance as something more than friends. T-that you might want this too. I’ve waited so long for you to make a move and prove that I wasn’t imagining things and that you feel the same way for me. But it never happened, and I just can’t go on like this. I need you to know, okay?”

Sunghoon rambled so fast you almost couldn’t catch up with him, he blurted all that while you tried to get out of his house as quickly as possible. He kept going while you practically ran down the stairs, picking up your shoes and sliding into them. Before you turned the door knob of his front door, you turned around to look at him again. And it was a big mistake.

Sunghoon was wearing the most desperate expression you had ever witnessed. The fact that he just confessed to you made your stomach turn. You even noticed how his eyes turned glassy, was he crying? Disbelief was written over your face and all you could do was shake your head and say “No.” once more.

Something broke inside of Sunghoon when he became conscious of the fact that you were rejecting him at this moment. He mustered up the courage to tell you how he felt because everyone he had confined in told him you like him too and that he should finally tell you how he really feels. So, not only did he feel crushed by your rejection, but also by the backstab of his friends.

“Y/N I always thought we worked so well together, so I never understood why we couldn’t be more. Am I… Am I not good enough? I-is that the problem? If there is something I can change, let me know and I’ll-“

“Oh my God, Sunghoon, no. You’re literally perfect. I’m so grateful to have you by my side and I couldn’t be more thankful for all the times you comforted me and helped me to get out of trouble. You are honest and funny and- and you are committed, and I love you. But just not the way you want me to. I am sorry.” You interrupted him, feeling your eyes sting with tears, mirroring his. Sunghoon choked at your words. You realized at that moment that you haven’t seen him cry in ages. And to be the reason he was crying made you feel terrible.

“Please tell me why. I don’t understand.” He begged, sounding absolutely miserable while a tear managed to escape and run down his cheek slowly.

“I don’t know Sunghoon. I just don’t. We can’t ruin our friendship like this-”

“Who said this is ruining our friendship? Maybe we weren’t meant to be just friends in the first place!”

“Yes we were!” you snapped back at him, anger starting to bubble up inside of you, “Yes we were,” you repeated, more calmly this time, “don’t make this something it isn’t. Please.”

This was the moment you decided that you had to get out of there immediately. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore, the fact that he expected an answer from you. You were overwhelmed with the whole situation and couldn’t think straight, so your adrenaline rush decided for flight instead of fight. You quickly turned the door knob and rushed out of his home, leaving him behind.

“Y/N, wait!” was his last attempt to keep you by his side, but he was met with a door being slammed in his face instead. He stared at his front door in disbelief, trying to process what had just unfolded. How he ruined everything. Sunghoon wanted to hit himself for speaking up, he figured that he should have just stayed quiet instead. But it was eating at him how he was silently pining for you and you never reacted the way he wanted you to. It confused him how you always scoffed at him whenever he complimented you but enjoyed cuddling with him during your regular movie nights.

He always wondered if he was making everything up, if you weren’t giving him potential signs at all and he just interpreted them the wrong way. Yet, when he opened up to Jake about his crush for you Jake didn’t seem surprised and said that everyone knew you both liked each other. Emphasis on both. After some time passed, Jake reassured Sunghoon that it was no use pining like this and that he was sure you two were destined to be together. Sunghoon was still scared shitless because there was still the possibility of you rejecting him. And whatever happens, he can’t afford to lose you because of his stupid feelings.

Sunghoon can’t even remember when he started liking you. It randomly hit him one day when you were wiping some ketchup off his mouth after eating fries and his heart began to race uncontrollably. He started noticing how pretty your eyes and lips were, how well you carried yourself, how quick-witted you were and how you always seemed to be at ease when you were around him. He had an ability to calm you down that no one else had. And Sunghoon managed to mistake it for mutual interest.

Once you slammed the door in his face you stood in front of his house for a few minutes, trying to sort out your thoughts and get your feet to move. The gears in your head were turning at lightning speed and you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Wasn’t this what you always wanted?

You speculated if there was something more than friendship forming between you two from time to time. You started paying closer attention to Sunghoon’s small habits and the way he acts around you, appreciating the way he always puts your needs first and makes sure you’re always sorted first before he worries about himself. When your friends started asking about what you and Sunghoon were, you were quick to answer that you were just best friends, but you always questioned why they would ask that if you simply gave off friendship energy.

Sunghoon had everything you would look for in a partner. So why were you rejecting him? You never even calculated the possibility of him liking you back, and the sole idea of it made heat rush to your ears. For whatever reason it seemed so impossible to you that Sunghoon could hold similar feelings for you that you blatantly rejected any chance of you two getting into a relationship, pushing your feelings aside in the process. It annoyed you that your friends kept pushing you towards each other when it was clear as day to you that Sunghoon didn’t feel the same. For your own sanity, you couldn’t accept anything else.

It's been over two weeks since Sunghoon confessed to you. And ever since then, you two didn’t talk to each other at all. It was the longest time you went without texting, calling and seeing each other. And you hated every bit of it. You missed Sunghoon like crazy, not talking to him felt like torture.

“You wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon.“

You hated how your friend was right. But you couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him, let alone appear at his house. He was probably hoping for you to reach out because he didn’t contact you either. To be fair, it was your turn after you ran away from him like that. But to put it simply, you had no clue how to address this situation.

You had spent the last couple of days rereading your text messages, smiling at all the fond memories you made and the stupid memes you constantly shared with each other. It made your heart ache for him even more and you started being angry at him for ruining a perfectly fine friendship. Things should have just stayed the way they were and the fact that everything was different now bothered you to no end.

Apart from missing Sunghoon, you also felt incredibly bored. With Yunjin and Heeseung being out of the country, your closest friends were all unavailable and all you did was lay in bed all day and reminiscence old times. You wondered how this shift in Sunghoon and your relationship would affect the whole friend group dynamic. Did you just doom more than one friendship?

Your boredom got to the point where you considered texting friends you rarely hang out with out of pure desperation. However, you didn’t manage to send out the text messages you had written and rewritten several times. You felt like you sounded too eager and decided to just continue decaying in your room, hoping that Sunghoon will find the courage to reach out to you first.

When you felt your phone vibrate next to you, you have never been so fast to check who messaged you, obviously hoping that your and Sunghoon’s telepathy had worked once again and he was the one to reach out. When you were met with a notification from Ningning, you were slightly disappointed, to say the least. Nevertheless, you opened her message.

Ningning~: Hey Y/N! I haven’t heard from you in a while so I wanted to reach out again. How is your summer break? Are you in town? I wanted to ask if you would like to join me tomorrow. There’s a party hosted by Yeonjun and I thought maybe you’d like to come too! Just let me know xx

You sighed. You really weren’t in the mood to party. But you were also dying of boredom, so should you just ignore the offer you got at being less lonely and having some fun? Maybe it can distract you from this whole Sunghoon situation. Alcohol was always a good way to drown your feelings, right? Wrong, but who cares.

You: Hey Ning, thanks for reaching out! I’d love to go! Just text me the details and I’ll be there x

You cringed. It didn’t sound like you at all. You hoped she wouldn’t notice and ask what’s wrong because you only wanted to talk to Yunjin about this at the moment. You considered calling her, but she already announced on the first day of her trip that the internet is really bad and she probably won’t be able to call or text much. Great.

To your surprise, Ningning didn’t notice your strange demeanor, texted you all the important information and before you knew it, you were standing in front of Choi Yeonjun’s apartment. You took the chance to actually style yourself for once, usually being too lazy to put in any effort to look good during the summer break. It did give you a boost of confidence, but you still weren’t sure if the party was a good idea.

And you realized it definitely wasn’t a good idea when you entered the apartment and the first thing you saw was Park Sunghoon standing at the other end of the hallway talking to a friend. As if he had a radar for you, he immediately locked eyes with you from across the hallway. You couldn’t read his expression but noticed how you stared at each other for a solid five seconds. Your skin burned under his gaze and you couldn’t hold eye contact any longer, quickly disappearing from his sight into another room. Ningning was quick to organize drinks for you and she did an amazing job at chatting you up, making you forget about your unplanned encounter with Sunghoon.

Of course, Sunghoon was at the party. What did you expect? He’s close with Yeonjun, and the fact that you couldn’t put two and two together before going to the party baffled you. But it was too late to run away now, and you decided to just try and ignore Sunghoon as much as possible. To your surprise, you really didn’t catch a glimpse of him for the rest of the evening. In fact, everything started to blur once Karina joined you and Ningning with a round of shots. Afterwards, you continued downing shots like no tomorrow and before you knew it, you were seriously drunk.

You did know your limit and you stopped once you noticed how close you were to feeling sick, but that didn’t change the fact that you developed some mobility problems. You decided to sit down in the living room, but the moment your body met the sofa you started dissociating. With no idea how much time had passed since you plopped yourself on Yeonjun’s sofa, you were only pulled out of your trance when you were met with four pairs of eyes in front of you. Your vision was blurry and when you tried your best to make out who it was, you regretted it.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Sunghoon asked, a worried expression painting his face. Ningning was next to him, she probably called him over because she didn’t know what to do. You blinked at him several times before you carefully picked your words, trying not to sound too drunk.

“Yeah, I’m great!” you yelled over the music with a smile, so loud that the people around you took notice of your state as well. Sunghoon sighed, he really wasn’t in the best state either, but he immediately sobered up a bit once Ningning asked for his help to get you home.

“Let me take you home, okay? Come on.” He reached out his hand for you and you had to focus really hard to be able to take it. Once you stood up you started swaying, noticing again just how much alcohol was in your system. Sunghoon detected your difficulty to simply stand straight as well, holding your lower arm to keep you from tipping over. He gently guided you to the door, mumbling something about how walking might be better for you to sober up.

The moment you went outside you took notice of the brisk air. It cooled down a lot and you were surprised how much it smelled like rain without actually having rained. You took a deep breath which helped you follow Sunghoon who kept a close eye on you. Whenever you were dangerously close to tripping, he would hold your arm to steady you and you quietly thanked him every time.

It was a long walk, and you didn’t exchange a word. However, it seemed to be a comfortable silence. You could feel tension between you two, but you knew that you weren’t in the right mind to discuss the depths of your relationship now. Yet, you wanted to test the water and whether there was bad blood between you two.

You decided to purposefully bump into him and when he looked at you in confusion, you just smiled playfully at him. It didn’t take him 2 seconds to reciprocate your smile and bump into you as a form of revenge. To his surprise, you still lost your balance faster than expected and almost landed face first on the ground. Sunghoon was quick to catch you and couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh God, sorry!” he let out a breathy laugh and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, shaking your head to signal him it’s okay.

With a more lighthearted atmosphere you continued your descent to your home. It didn’t take you long to feel the cold air biting at your skin and with goosebumps grazing your body you confessed to Sunghoon that you felt cold. Unfortunately, Sunghoon didn’t bring a jacket with him either. Because his house was closer to Yeonjun’s apartment than yours, he offered to take you in for the night. Considering the tension between you, you were caught off guard by his offer, but accepted it nevertheless.

Once you made it to his house you rushed inside quickly. Sunghoon was home alone for the week because his parents and sister went to a holiday camp Sunghoon didn’t bother to join. You instantly felt home and realized how much you missed not only being by his side but also at his house.

“Is it okay if I shower?” you said, slightly sobered up but still a bit wobbly on your legs.

“Promise me you won’t drown?” Sunghoon asked sarcastically, there was a seriousness in his glance that told you he was only half-joking. You nodded in response and rushed to the bathroom.

When you got out of the shower you felt really hot suddenly, so Sunghoon offered to sit on the balcony for a bit. You sat down right at the edge, letting your feet dangle over it. Sunghoon joined you, not sparing you a glance but rather focusing on the clear sky above you.

You didn’t speak for a while, and you questioned whether it was a comfortable silence or not. You gulped nervously before you scraped together all the courage you had left.

“I’m sorry that I stormed out of your house the other day.”

You hoped your words didn’t sound too slurred and Sunghoon would understand it as a sincere apology and when you glanced at him you noticed how he smiled slightly, still not looking at you.

“It’s okay.”

A small smile crept up on your lips as you kept your eyes on him, examining his features. You never noticed until now just how pretty his moles are, they are a perfect addition to his face. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system, but you were suddenly craving to be near him.

Even though there were unspoken words between you, you decided to shuffle closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. He jumped slightly for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but he relaxed under you quickly, keeping his eyes on the sky. You didn’t know how much his heart was racing, but yours was uncontrollably beating out of your chest as well. You never felt this nervous around him before and you blamed it on the alcohol and the overall tension. Your heart was beating so fast because you were scared to lose him, right?

After a while, you noticed him shifting beneath you, turning his head towards you. You did the same and only noticed then just how close your faces were to each other’s. You could feel his breath on your face and figured that it would only take a few millimeters to close the distance between you two. Suddenly you were hyper aware of his every move, noticing how his eyes flickered between your own and your lips. You ended up doing the same, taking notice of the way his lips slightly parted, letting out a nervous huff.

The tension between you felt insufferable and you didn’t know where the sudden urge to kiss him came from. Sunghoon was slowly closing the distance between you two, giving you enough time to pull away. When he noticed that you weren’t going to, he finally captured his lips with yours. The kiss was slow and cautious, as if he was afraid you would still change your mind. His soft lips grazed yours and you needed more, becoming intoxicated by his scent. When your hand went up to his neck, he took that as a sign to deepen the kiss.

You don’t know how long you’ve kissed, but you only separated to gasp for air quickly before connecting your lips once again. You never felt a bliss like this before and started exploring his mouth as if you’d have to remember it because he could disappear from your grasp at any moment. Soon enough, your hands were all over each other and you figured that the balcony wasn’t comfortable, so you moved to Sunghoon’s bed to continue your makeout session.

You situated yourself on his lap and his hands wandered to your hips straight away, keeping you in place. You felt like you weren’t close enough, so you moved forwards, brushing your clothed core against his, eliciting a small gasp from him. When you noticed how a bulge was forming underneath you, you moved again, feeling Sunghoon’s hands on your hips tightening and guiding you on his crotch. The room filled with heavy breathing and before you knew it, you were dry humping him, feeling his erection grow beneath you.

Sunghoon quickly decided to attack your jaw and kiss down your neck, moving on to your shoulder while pushing the strap of your bra and top to the side to gain better access. You whimpered slightly, feeling overwhelmed by his ministrations. His hands were exploring every curve on your body and left behind a burning sensation on every part of bare skin he touched. When he reached the hem of your shirt again, he pulled away to look at you, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face.

“Do you really want to do this?” he whispered, searching for any sign of discomfort in your eyes. Your pupils were probably as blown as his, telling him all he needed to know, but he only continued once you nodded eagerly. You never expected Sunghoon to make you feel like this, and you couldn’t stop yourself no matter how hard you tried. So with your shirt gone, the rest of your clothes was soon to follow.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache, wincing slightly once you gained consciousness again. You did drink a lot, but you were still surprised how strong your hangover was. Taking notice of Sunghoon’s posters on the wall you didn’t think much, recalling how he brought you to his place because you were cold. However, when you noticed an arm around your waist, you froze. You slowly turned around to face Sunghoon, who was still dozing off next to you. Suddenly, you remembered what had happened last night. Images of you touching, exploring, feeling each other flooded your memory and your eyes almost popped out of your skull.

What did you do?! This wasn’t planned at all. You wanted to talk it out with him when the time was right and you both were sober again, not take it to the next level like this. Your breathing became uneven, and you noticed how a shiver ran down your spine.

As if on cue, Sunghoon stirred slightly, opening his eyes. When he looked at you still half-asleep, it was like he was staring at his most prized possession, and it overwhelmed you immediately.

“Good morning” he croaked out, voice still laced with sleep and a small smile playing on his lips. He closed his eyes again to stretch his body a bit, and when he finally opened his eyes fully to look at you, his expression dropped instantly. You just stared at him in shock and he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. He did not like that look at all.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, totally dreading your answer.

“What happened last night?” you asked, a question that was totally useless to ask since you already knew.

“You don’t remember?” Sunghoon questioned, noticing how his blood started running cold.

“I do, I just-“ you couldn’t find the words to express your thoughts right now. The whole situation stressed you out again, and you felt like you took advantage of Sunghoon when you both weren’t stone-cold sober.

“You didn’t enjoy it?” The moment he asked that question, you felt his touch on your skin again, the way he was holding you so carefully as if you were made out of porcelain. No matter how you twisted and turned it, you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it. You did, very much in fact. But you still didn’t want it to happen, not like this.

“I- I did. It’s just… I felt like it was a mistake.” You said as you were slowly getting up, his arm that was around your side flopping down on the bed.

Hearing that sentence felt like being shot right in the chest, and Sunghoon slowly got up as well, looking at you in disbelief.

“Why would you say that?” he prompted carefully, trying to keep calm while noticing how you were collecting your jeans from the floor and squeezing yourself into them. This scene looked oddly familiar and Sunghoon started panicking.

“It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this. I’m sorry, I think I should go,” you managed to choke out, feeling like your airflow was cut off because you were so conflicted.

“Don’t do this to me. Not again.” He said, his voice becoming strict, a tone he had never used on you before.

You really didn’t want to do this to him. Not again. But something in you told you that this was a slip up, that you shouldn’t stay there, that you made a wrong decision under the influence. You didn’t know why you were so eager to get out of there, because deep down you knew this was exactly what you wanted. You craved him, now more than ever, but you manipulated yourself into thinking this wasn’t right. In your mind, you were ruining a perfectly fine friendship by hooking up with your best friend after a few shots of alcohol. You completely ignored the fact that he made the move on you again.

Ignoring his advances, you kept getting dressed, ready to leave until you were stopped by your best friend.

“Y/N, stop.” Sunghoon warned, once again using the tone you only heard him use on Yeji when she was being naughty. You gulped anxiously, turning around to face him. He stood in front of you in only his sweatpants, his milky skin glowing in the morning sun. He looked ethereal, and you hated it.

“I don’t get it. You apologized to me, craved being near me and I had the feeling you were just as into it as I was last night. And now you want to run from me again. What is going on?” he demanded an answer, and you could hear how frustrated he was. He ran a hand through his hair waiting for your response and all you could do was sigh.

“I don’t know, Sunghoon. I need time to think, okay?!” you were getting agitated because you realized you had no argument against it. Yes, you wanted this, yes you enjoyed it. And yet, you were terrified of the consequences. Of how quickly this escalated. Of how easily you managed to turn your friendship upside down.

“So I was good enough for a fuck and now you’re gonna dump me again? Is that it?” Sunghoon spat, and you were shocked at how petty he was getting. You had never witnessed him that angry before, not even with Yeji. He did rage from time to time, but never like this. And the fact that his anger was directed at you made your skin crawl.

“God, no! Don’t make conclusions like that. I just don’t want us to ruin our friendship, is it that hard to understand?!” your frustration was reflected in your raising volume, making Sunghoon flinch slightly. When you waited for Sunghoon’s reaction, you were stunned to see that he was laughing. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he clenched his jaw, looking at you with a gaze so cold it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Well, sorry to break it to you, Y/N. We already did.”

You gulped again, your shoulders that you had unconsciously raised in the heat of the argument relaxing when you smiled bitterly at him and nodded, tears blurring your vision.

“That’s too bad then.” You said in an unexpectedly calm voice before turning around and slamming the door of his room, leaving him behind just the way you did two weeks ago.

When Yunjin rang on your doorbell, she couldn’t wait to recite her trip in every detail. Apart from the beautiful cities she visited, the boys she got to know in Italy were also something to talk about. There was so much to unpack from that trip that she announced a meeting of minimum 3 hours and told you to prepare snacks and drinks.

You were happy that Yunjin was finally back, especially after everything that happened between you and Sunghoon. There has been complete radio silence once again, since you were 100% sure he was incredibly mad at you and called your friendship quits after this. At first you were weirdly okay with the situation until it hit you a few days later that you guys had ruined your year-long friendship with some drunk sex. You were still in denial about him confessing to you and you reciprocating his feelings, instead you blamed the night you two kissed and jumped to base four right after for the end of your friendship.

The worst part for you was that you felt like you couldn’t go back. Even if you admitted that this was what you craved, even if you apologized for the ways you pushed him away even though you didn’t mean it, the way the recent events unfolded made it impossible to start a healthy relationship. Everything turned so messy so quickly that you felt like you lost control of the situation and now that you might be able to regain it, it’s too late. Sunghoon looked at you with a sense of disappointment you will never forget. It haunted you at night.

So, you were glad that Yunjin was finally back because you needed a shoulder to cry on. You missed her like crazy and you hoped she had a better summer break than you did so far to distract you from your misery. But with the way she proclaimed her return, you were sure she had a lot of funny stories to share.

What Yunjin didn’t expect when you opened your apartment door was how awful you looked. Hair disheveled, eyes glassy, the bags under your eyes looking alarmingly dark. Nevertheless, she couldn’t hide her excitement.

“Girl!” she screeched, embracing you before you could take a good look at her. The hugs she gave were always extreme, but they were especially tight when you haven’t seen each other in a while. Once she separated from you and took another look at you, she knew something was wrong.

“You look terrible, what is going on?” she questioned, fixing the strands of hair that were in the wrong place. The deep sigh you let out was more than worrying to her and you could tell she was on edge immediately.

“It’s a long story, tell me about your holiday first!” you tried to chime but the exhaustion in your voice was evident. You took the bag she brought with her out of her hand and went to the living room, settling on the sofa where she joined you.

“No, my recap can wait. What’s wrong?” she was quick to clarify. Another sigh from your side. Where to begin?

“I slept with Sunghoon.” Wow. That was the worst part to begin with. Congratulations. The way Yunjin’s mouth dropped and her eyes went wide didn’t help at all.

“WHAT???” she asked in disbelief. When she realized that you weren’t joking, she threw her arms in the air.

“Fucking finally! I told you, you two were meant to be together! How was it? Is he a good kisser? How did this even happen? Oh my God I’m so excited Y/N I need to know all the details! This is so good!!” Yunjin squealed and her excitement scared the shit out of you. How were you going to explain to her that this was nothing like she wished for?

She looked at you expectantly, but you only stared at her with an apologetic look. Her excitement died down soon and she mirrored your expression, a pout forming on her lips.

“Wait, it is not good?” It was a rhetorical question, really. If it was a good thing, you wouldn’t look this miserable and instead be glowing or something. You could tell the gears in her head were turning. Suddenly her eyes were widening again and she put her hands over her mouth in shock.

“Oh my God, are you pregnant?” This actually made you chuckle. Now she was thinking way too far.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not pregnant.” You clarified, unable to hide your smile because you couldn’t believe how dramatic she was being.

“Then what is it?” she asked impatiently and you decided it might be best to start from the beginning. You recalled your last two encounters with Sunghoon, and you felt like Yunjin has never listened to you with such interest. A girl was invested.

When you finished Yunjin sighed heavily, her face dropping the more the story progressed. You had a pleading look in your eyes, begging for her advice.

“Girl, why did you make everything so complicated?” she finally asked and you were a bit appalled that she was attacking you.

“What do you mean, I did? Sunghoon started this.” You clarified, slightly offended.

“No honey, Sunghoon came clean about the feelings he’s been harboring for you for quite some time, something you’re still in denial about.” Yunjin pointed out and rightfully so. Sunghoon did what you couldn’t do: admit your feelings for him.

“But he shouldn’t have. We were totally fine and he had to make it awkward. The fact that we drunkenly slept with each other didn’t help at all.” You dropped your head in your hands. “I feel like we overstepped a line by having sex.” Yunjin was quick to shake her head.

“Y/N, you already overstepped a line when you started catching feelings for each other. I just don’t understand why you push him away like that when you like him too.” She reasoned, articulating your thoughts.

“I’m not sure if I really want this. We’ve been friends for so long, I need him by my side no matter what.” You replied, chewing on your lip nervously.

“So you’re scared that your relationship might not work out and you’ll lose him as a friend?”

“I think so. I just don’t want our friendship to be ruined over a stupid slipup. Maybe we mistake our feelings for platonic love and wouldn’t work out as a couple at all. And then we binned a totally fine friendship for no reason.” You noticed how verbalizing your worries really helped you deal with the whole situation. You debated this way too much on your own already, it was high time for another opinion.

“I get where you’re coming from. But you must view it from this perspective: You have the most important basis for a good relationship. Trust and good communication. Well, the latter until fairly recently at least. You hang out a lot and don’t get tired of each other. You can openly talk to him about everything. He’s always on your mind. There’s pretty much only the physical part missing. Which is why I need to ask if you didn’t enjoy it now that you got physically closer to him as well?”

It was like Yunjin was stating the obvious, but she helped you realize that there was not much to be afraid of. You felt safe around him and he felt safe around you and that was the most important thing. But you still were so hesitant, why?

“No, I definitely enjoyed it.” In fact, you’ve been thinking about nothing else but how soft his skin felt on yours and how pretty his lips are. And you felt like this made everything even more difficult, because there was still something keeping you from committing to him fully when there were so many indicators that you’re meant to be.

“Well then, you’re standing in your own way. I know you’re terrified that this might go wrong, but it will certainly go wrong if you don’t fix this. You both deserve to be happy. And personally, I think you’re happy if you’re together. Look what being apart from him does to you.” Yunjin pointed out, looking you up and down. You scoffed but knew she was right.

“I just don’t know how to fix it. I feel like it’s too late. He already waited too long and probably gave up on us.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You can’t just drop someone that quickly. He’s probably struggling just as much as you.”

“You did what?!” Jake asked in shock, similar to Yunjin’s reaction.

“I confessed, and she rejected me. Twice.” Sunghoon repeated, kind of embarrassed.

“Dude, I can’t believe this. I always thought she liked you back.” Jake furrowed his brows, pondering whether he had also misinterpreted your behavior. To him, it was clear as day that you both shared a mutual romantic interest in each other but were too shy to address it. So, when Sunghoon revealed what he had done, he initially got excited.

“Yeah well, I thought so too, especially since we had sex that one night after a party and-“

“You guys had sex???”

“Jake… ugh. Yes, we did. We were both a bit drunk though.” Sunghoon reasoned but the sparkle in Jake’s eyes told him it was to no avail.

“I’m impressed, not gonna lie. You confessed and then jumped straight to base four. Did you learn from me?” Jake couldn’t help but laugh, he found that situation way too amusing for Sunghoon’s liking.

“Man, what even is base four… anyway. The point is, she said she wanted this and also admitted she enjoyed it, but she basically fled the scene the next morning and hasn’t been reaching out since. I just don’t fucking know anymore.” Sunghoon ruffled his hair in frustration and let out a deep groan. Just the thought of you leaving him behind in his room shattered his heart into a million pieces.

He just didn’t understand it. He was on cloud nine when you nodded that you wanted this too, pupils blown wide and breathing uneven. He could feel your heart pounding like crazy, similar to his own. The way you were holding him gave him all the cues he needed to claim you as his. And yet, you slipped from his embrace hours later. What could there possibly be that kept you from being with him? All the signs were there that you felt the same. Or so he thought.

“Maybe she’s scared. You’ve been friends for quite some time, I wouldn’t want to throw that away lightheartedly either just because I was horny and drunk one night.”

“But I don’t see why this wouldn’t work. We worked perfectly fine the last couple of years as friends. We literally complete each other. What more could you want?”

“It’s still commitment, Hoon. Friendships are easier to keep and end than relationships. I think Y/N wants to protect herself from possible heartbreak by keeping you in the friendzone.” Jake reasoned, and Sunghoon wondered when he became so intelligent.

“So, we’re ignoring the fact that she is breaking my heart in the process?”

“Of course not. And it’s on you how much time you give her to make a decision. Do what’s best for you. If you feel like this drains you more than you could get out of it, it’s best to cut ties. You guys overstepped the line now anyway.” Sunghoon was surprised by Jake’s reply, it felt like the wisest advice he had ever given. When he told Jake about his feelings the very first time, his friend was less helpful.

Sunghoon felt like the world was caving in on him and he finally needed to break out of his shell, finally confide in someone what has been bothering him lately. Whenever you guys planned a meeting, he was more excited than usual to see you. And when he did, he felt butterflies in his stomach whenever you laughed. When you hugged or cuddled on the couch, he noticed how he always wanted it to last longer, for him to be even closer to you. Whenever you made a stupid joke and bickered with him, he couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying every second of being with you.

He didn’t know what was happening to him. It scared him that somehow, he wanted more from you than before. More attention, more laughter, more contact. You were on his mind 24/7. He started noticing the smallest things about you. How you changed your clothing style over time. How you did your hair a little differently, playing around with various simple but pretty hairstyles. He noticed overall how good you looked.

Sunghoon paid attention to details he never cared about before. He started complimenting you more because he felt like he needed to point out that he noticed whenever you changed something about yourself or put in that extra effort to get ready. And he was the proudest when you smiled at him and thanked him for the compliment. Though, you soon stopped taking it seriously and figured it was probably just part of your bickering.

The way his feelings for you changed confused him and after a while of dealing with it himself, he finally needed another opinion. When he called Jake to ask if he could come over because he needed help, the latter was surprised, to say the least. Sunghoon rarely talked about his worries, and when he did, he talked about them with you and not Jake. So, what could it possibly be that made him choose Jake over you?

Oh yeah, well, that. Once Sunghoon laid out to Jake how he certainly noticed something shifted whenever he is with you he could only but chuckle, leaving Sunghoon with a perplexed stare.

“Nice bro, you finally noticed? You’re pretty much the last one to do so.”

“What do you mean?” Sunghoon asked, confusion written all over his face. Jake couldn’t help but giggle and shake his head at his oblivious friend.

Basically everyone had noticed how you two got a lot closer suddenly, which caused rumors to start spreading that you secretly started dating. Jake and Jay even had a bet going who asked the other out first and he couldn’t wait for Sunghoon to confess that he was in fact dating you.

Everyone had noticed. Everyone but you two.

“You got to be kidding me. You so obviously like her, it wasn’t necessarily hard to spot.” Jake pointed out, which made Sunghoon’s eyes grow big. He gulped nervously, unconsciously playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Do you think she knows too?” Sunghoon asked, his brows knit together. What if you knew and chose to ignore it? Talking to Jake made Sunghoon realize that the shift in his behavior around you correlated with a shift in his feelings for you. He liked you. And he knew he was screwed before Jake could answer.

“Nah dude. She probably is just as oblivious as you.” Jake clicked his tongue nonchalantly. That somehow made Sunghoon release a breath of relief.

“What do you reckon I should do?” Sunghoon questioned. He couldn’t believe he was asking Jake, a retired but previously notorious player, for dating advice. Only Chaewon was able to get him interested in the actual dating life, but he proved miserable at that. Chaewon could handle it, fortunately, but Jake wasn’t the best person to talk about feelings. He didn’t do those until fairly recently.

“I don’t know, just wait and see what happens.” Yeah, Jake was really useless in that field.

“You’re not helping.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes in annoyance, making Jake raise his hands in defense.

“Bro, what do you want me to say? Confess and run into a disaster because chances are she doesn’t like you back? I personally think it’s mutual by the way she behaves, but who am I to judge.” He reasoned and Sunghoon nodded understandingly.

He had no choice but to observe your behavior from now on to find any clue whether you like him too. Jake was absolute garbage at giving advice, but Sunghoon decided to cut him some slack this time since it actually seemed the right thing to do. Damn, what has Chaewon done to him?

Sunghoon answered the same back then as he did now.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

16 new messages in squaaaaad

Chaewonie ❤️: Guys, we haven’t had a cinema night in ages and they switched up the screening offer at our trusted cinema! How about dinner together with a cinema night as a squad now that we’ve all returned?

Hee Hee (seung): only if you promise not to make out with Jake three minutes into the movie

Ikeu: rude???

Ikeu: anyway, I’m in!

Meme Queen 😎: of course you are.

Ikeu: what’s with the disrespect today

Jjongsaeng: count me in too! dinner at our usual ahjumma? <3

Chaewonie ❤️: Obviously, I’ve been craving her Jjamppong the last few days!

DDEONU: I’m in too! so dinner’s on chaewon then?

Chaewonie ❤️: Dream about it Sunoo

Zuhaaa: count me in too

DDEONU: just checked the screenings, let’s go watch the new barbie movie!!

Hee Hee (seung): I changed my mind I won’t go

DDEONU: 😒

Meme Queen 😎: I’m in too by the way and I’m not a whiny little bitch like Heeseung so Barbie is fine

Hee Hee (seung) left the group chat

Meme Queen 😎: exactly what I’m talking ‘bout

You couldn’t help but chuckle at your stupid friends. Yunjin, who had her head in your lap, was similarly laughing at the text messages, especially when she added Heeseung back to the group chat and he started whining even more.

“Aren’t you going to write anything?” Yunjin prompted without looking at you.

“I don’t know if I’m going.” You admitted shyly, biting your lip. That made Yunjin turn her head to look at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Girl, don’t even think about cancelling.” She warned. You exhaled, throwing your phone away and running both hands over your face.

“Look, I just don’t want to make it awkward if Sunghoon is there.” You tried to explain, but Yunjin wasn’t buying it at all.

“Nah babe, we’re not doing that. Don’t destroy our friendship group because of something like that. Plus, it could be an opportunity to talk things out with Sunghoon.”

“If he joins.” You said absentmindedly. Yunjin clicked her tongue.

“And if he doesn’t then that’s on him and we’re going to have fun without him. But don’t ruin fun for yourself because he might be there. I know you want to go.” Ugh, you hated that Yunjin was (almost) always right.

“Fine.” You groaned.

Meme Queen 😎: I’m dragging Y/N along too

You cringed at the way Yunjin put it, but she wasn’t completely wrong. You weren’t too excited to go, because you had a bad feeling this could turn ugly if Sunghoon was to show up as well. Yes, it was a squad meeting, but you still had no idea how to act around him, let alone how he would act around you. Additionally, not everyone knew what went down. Yunjin had briefly updated Heeseung without too many details and you guessed Sunghoon might have told Jake, but other than that, no one was aware of the recent events. How awkward would that get?

Quite awkward. Sunghoon had announced that he would be coming as well, and since Yunjin already told everyone that you would be there too you had no way to back out of it. You persisted that you would show up together with Heeseung, too afraid that you might be the first to arrive and Sunghoon being second or the other way around.

To your surprise, Sunghoon was one of the last to arrive, very unlike him since he was always over-punctual. When you exchanged glances, a shiver ran down your spine. You tried to decipher his look but couldn’t, it held an emotion you had never seen before. You couldn’t hold his gaze either, quickly looking at Jake to greet him.

When Kazuha arrived at last, you went inside the restaurant to finally grab a bite. You only noticed then that you were starving, instantly plopping down on the first spot you saw. Yunjin sat down to your left and Jay aimed at joining you on your right, only to retreat while mumbling something about how Sunghoon is going to sit there anyway. It wasn’t intentional, Sunghoon and you always claimed to sit next to each other and sent grim looks to everyone who tried to get in your way. But this time was different.

Sunghoon and you exchanged shaky glances, still that undecipherable look in his eyes and with a small gulp, he situates himself on the other side of the table instead of next to you. This move earned confused glances from half the group, and you simply nodded with a sad expression coating your face. So that’s what we’re doing now, you thought. Great.

Thankfully, no one commented Sunghoon’s odd move and everyone sat down instead, Jay reclaiming the spot next to you. You could feel the tension at the table, something was in the air and everyone noticed. But no one dared to speak up. Those who knew just exchanged worried glances and those who didn’t simply looked confused. There was an unusual silence at the table before Chaewon finally managed to break the silence by asking what everyone wants to eat.

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and the whole situation drained you from the get-go. How were you going to survive the rest of the evening after such a bumpy start? You tried not to stare at Sunghoon too much and whenever you caught a glimpse of him looking at you, you panicked and looked away instantly. Sunghoon wasn’t any better, acting quite absentminded until Jake bumped him under the table. With a demanding glance Sunghoon knew immediately what he was trying to tell him. Jake, similar to Yunjin, made it clear that no fun was cut from the evening just because of your miserable situation. Sunghoon tried his best to join the conversation, but everyone could tell that something was weird.

After a rather awkward meal you made your way to the cinema, Yunjin linking arms with you as you tried to calm your nerves. This wasn’t going to be easy. The fact that everyone noticed the tension between you and Sunghoon made you incredibly nervous and you figured that you had to talk about it sooner or later tonight.

When you reached the cinema and the mood was still off, your body acted faster than your mind. Without hesitation, you grabbed Sunghoon’s arm, who looked at you quite alarmed. With a gaze that conveyed “Can we talk?” Sunghoon quickly nodded and followed you behind the cinema. Yunjin and Jake quickly exchanged knowing yet uneasy glances when they saw you disappear behind the building.

Once you reached the backside of the cinema, you stopped in your tracks. Not noticing how you still held onto Sunghoon’s arm, only his verbal reminder brought you back to reality.

“You can let go now.” It scared you how cold he sounded. You didn’t know if it was the unusually chilly night or if his voice really lacked the warmth you were so used to. You realized that you had to face him sooner or later, back still turned to him. You knew that turning around and looking at him will most likely break you and you were right.

When you made eye contact, you kept seeing a look in his eyes that you couldn’t decode. You usually could guess his opinion on things or his overall mood by how he looked at you or others, but this was different. This was a look he had never worn before, and it scared you.

And you made another dreadful realization. Shit. You hadn’t prepared this conversation at all. You had brought him here and were now at a loss of words. He looked at you expectantly, obviously waiting for you to talk first since you were the one who dragged him there in the first place. Your brain was short-circuiting, so you blurted the first thing to pop up in your mind.

“Hi.” Mentally facepalming yourself, you closed your eyes and shook your head. Sunghoon didn’t react to that at all either, waiting for you to actually articulate what you want to tell him.

“Look, we need to talk.” Is all you could choke out in nervousness, your voice betraying you by breaking in the middle of the sentence.

“We do?” Sunghoon’s question caught you off-guard and you looked at him generally confused.

“Yes, don’t you think so?” you prompted in disbelief. Sunghoon shrugged.

“Oh I did, but you don’t strike me as the person who wants to talk about this anymore after last time.” He admitted and you cringed at his words. You realized at that moment that you did know that tone of his. He used that exact tone when breaking up with Eunchae, a conversation you overheard as he wanted you nearby when it happened. It’s the voice he uses when he’s built a barrier to protect himself.

He's built a barrier. The fact that he felt like he needs to protect himself from you emotionally ripped your heart out, but then again you couldn’t blame him. Everything you did made this a justifiable response. And you were to make it worse.

“Sunghoon.” You called out to him weakly and his gaze softened for a split second upon hearing you call his name in such desperation. “I didn’t want this to happen. Not like this, believe me,” you said while taking a step towards him.

He didn’t back off, and you took that as a sign to continue.

“I never wanted to lose you as a friend, the thought of it makes me sick, and I panicked when you suddenly confessed. I didn’t know how to act so I chose to run away.” You tried to explain your point of view and he patiently waited for you to continue, as if he waited for a specific sentence.

Tell him it was a mistake to run from him. Tell him you like him too. Tell him you want this too. For some reason, you just couldn’t articulate those feelings. For some sick, twisted reason, you still weren’t sure if this is what you really felt. You still didn’t come clear about your emotions, about whether your feelings for him are platonically or romantically coded. You felt like you still needed to find out.

With one more step forward, you closed the gap between Sunghoon and yourself. Without thinking this through you took his face into your hands, connecting your lips in a swift motion. Sunghoon seemed slightly taken aback by your action but responded to the kiss nevertheless, his arms immediately wandering to your waist. However, he was quick to break the kiss, tightening his grip on your waist to put some distance between you.

“What are you doing?” he questioned in a serious, slightly disappointed tone, his brows furrowed. You looked at him with big eyes.

“I’m trying to make things right.” You said weakly, feeling extremely small under his strong gaze.

“No, you’re testing the waters.” He said and gave your hips a small push to create more distance between you. Your arms fell to your side lifelessly, tears threatening to escape.

“No.” you tried to defend but Sunghoon was able to shut you down quickly.

“Yes, Y/N. I can tell you’re still not sure about this. So stop bullshitting me.” He said it calmly but it felt like he spat those words in your face.

“I don’t-“ you tried again but he interrupted straight away.

“Listen to me. If you can’t come clean about how you feel for me then that’s on you. But stop playing with my feelings in the process. For the sake of our year-long friendship, I think we should have at least that much respect for each other.”

You were absolutely speechless. The way he delivered those words to you, you felt like he wasn’t feeling any emotion at all. It scared you that Sunghoon, who was usually very vocal and expressive, could articulate something so dryly. Only then did you realized just how much you have fucked up.

You have hurt Sunghoon so much with your indecisiveness that he completely shut you out. Backed off emotionally from you. For him to say those things so easily, it made your heart ache. You opened your mouth to speak, to protest, but there was nothing to protest about.

He was right, you played with his heart. He was nothing but honest with you and you rejected him not once, but twice. And now you thought a weak excuse and a kiss could fix it? Oh, how naïve you were.

Sunghoon saw you open your mouth to speak but he quickly shook his head.

“This conversation is over.” He announced, turning on his heels and walking away to the rest of your friends. This time, he left you behind and you started to understand how shitty it must have felt when you did it to him.

You stood there motionlessly, unable to move while trying to process what just happened. You were sure you deserved it for how you acted previously but you still didn’t know how to handle this situation. You tried your best to keep your tears in and collect yourself so you can get back to the group, but tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you sobbed quietly, hoping not to catch the attention of your friends.

In the meantime, Sunghoon made it back to the group alone, earning confused glances from the rest of your friends.

“Where’s Y/N?” Sunoo asked, brows furrowed because something was definitely off but he didn’t want to insist.

“Oh, she’s coming soon. Don’t worry.” Sunghoon said nonchalantly, but Yunjin and Heeseung exchanged concerned glances. Yunjin debated checking on you, sensing that whatever went down behind the cinema didn’t end well. She examined Sunghoon’s look, and he gazed back at her, as if challenging her. What is wrong with him? He never acted like this before.

Deep down, Sunghoon was sweating. He tried his best to act normal, to not let it get to him how absolutely gutted he left you there. But he couldn’t help himself. All the pain he experienced the last couple of days made him become petty. With Jake telling him to be careful not to hurt himself too much while waiting for you he decided it might be best to push his feelings to the back of his head.

The full ordeal was swallowing him whole. He wanted nothing but to hold you, talk to you, be with you, hear your beautiful voice through the phone, see your little frown whenever you complained about something. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t push any further after being rejected twice already.

On the one hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything right. He couldn’t go on pretending you were just friends when he has been falling for you harder the more time passed. Being honest to himself and to you was what you had unofficially promised each other and he wanted to keep that promise no matter what.

On the other hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything wrong. He caused this trouble by being selfish and pushing you towards a relationship you might not even want. You worked out fine, and one should never change a running system, right?

Wrong. He knew your friendship was doomed the first time he caught his heart skipping a beat upon seeing you, the first time he imagined what your lips would feel like on his own, the first time he hugged you for a second longer than usual because he didn’t want to let go just yet. But he hoped it wouldn’t end the way it did just now. He was pretty certain that this was it.

Even if you decided you felt the same, you probably wouldn’t come back to him after he delivered such a terrible line in the coldest tone he had ever used on anybody. He was scared of himself that he managed to treat you like this. That the harshest words he had ever spoken were directed to you

A few minutes later, you mustered up the courage to join the rest, having successfully dried your tears and calmed down enough for others to see you. When you turned the corner, you heard Sunoo scream for you in excitement, making Yunjin’s head snap towards you.

“Y/N! There you are, finally. Come on guys, let’s go or we’ll miss the first few minutes!”

You were quick to shoot him a smile, trying your best to hide the fact you just finished crying and had to control yourself not to burst out in tears again. Yunjin was immediately able to uncover your mask and shot Sunghoon another look, trying to piece together what might have happened back there.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly enough for only you to hear, and you were fast to brush her off by nodding, but she didn’t buy it. You shot her a look that she shouldn’t persist and she got the memo, following you inside without prompting another question.

When Sunoo finished buying all the tickets and wanted to hand them out in seat order, he hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether he should put Sunghoon and you next to each other after he already refused to sit next to you during dinner. Noticing the stiff air between you (which really wasn’t hard to do), he decided against it and instead sat you next to Kazuha and Heeseung.

By now, no one in your friend group was unaware of the fact that Sunghoon and you were fighting, but no one dared to ask and interfere. Nevertheless, every time someone looked at you, they shot you apologetic glances and you swore you needed to get out of there. You really weren’t in the mood to watch a movie now, especially not a bubbly one like Barbie.

When you plopped down in your seat, you didn’t even bother shooting Sunghoon a glance as he passed you to sit further down the row. Heeseung sat next to you, whispering something about that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable, but you just ignored him. At the moment, your mind was blank and you just wanted the evening to end. You prayed to the gods that the movie will make you forget at least for a short while how heartbroken you are.

It seemed to work for the first half, however as the movie progressed you noticed how you replayed the conversation between Sunghoon and you in your mind endlessly. You couldn’t help but let one tear after another roll down your cheek, trying your best not to gain attention by sobbing. You sniffed as silently as you could but Heeseung noticed nevertheless.

And so did Sunghoon. When he looked over to you and saw you crying, he felt a sting in his heart. He really tried not to cry alongside with you, but the view he had of you not being able to control your tears ruined him. He tried hard to focus on the movie, noticing how Jake was studying his behavior next to him. Sunghoon chose to ignore it for his own sake. Just like you, he wanted to go home as quickly as possible.

Once the credits started rolling, you practically jolted from your seat to get out of the situation you were in. Of course the rest of your friend group took an eternity to get up, collect their stuff and leave the cinema. As soon as the warm summer air hit your nose, you turned around to everyone, announcing that you didn’t feel well and will leave early. Without bothering to wait for a response you turned on your heels, practically running away from the group, leaving a worried Yunjin and Heeseung behind.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t just postpone the road trip until you figure things out?” Yunjin asked warily, wanting to make sure you really meant what you just told her.

“No way. Y’all waited so long for this! It’s our ritual as well. Please go, I just won’t join.” You clarified. You figured that after the cinema disaster, Sunghoon and you shouldn’t be in the same room for a while, not only for your own sakes, but also because it made the whole atmosphere awkward.

It was never your intention to affect your whole friend group with your problems, but here you were. You decided it was best for everyone if you were left out. You couldn’t see it since you were on the phone, but Yunjin shook her head firmly.

“And it’s also a ritual that we all go together. All of us. You included.”

“I get it, but I just don’t know how to act around Sunghoon and how he’ll act around me. I don’t want to ruin the trip for everyone.”

“Trust me, you will ruin it if you don’t come. Remember when Heeseung and Kazuha had a quick fling? The friend group didn’t break because of that either. Just act normal around him and you’ll be fine. You’re adults after all. I know you were so excited for the road trip, please don’t let that ruin the fun.” Yunjin tried to argue.

She felt slightly bad because it sounded like she was forcing you, but she knew that the squad road trip was your favorite part of the summer break. She was certain that this might be therapeutic for both you and Sunghoon. No way in hell would she let it happen that one of you left the friend group. She saw it as an opportunity to at least act civil around each other when in group settings.

“I know, I’m just scared to face him. What if I break out crying?” you played the worst scenarios in your head on how everyone would be annoyed by your whiny heartbroken ass.

“Then everyone will understand. The situation isn’t easy. And it’s okay to cry.” Yunjin reasoned. After the cinema night, everyone asked each other what happened between Sunghoon and you and the story spread like wildfire. When the first pitiful message from Chaewon arrived, you knew you were done for. You felt terrible for worrying everyone and you were afraid people were going to pick sides. To your relief, no one mentioned anything and left it to you two to solve the issue.

Yunjin noticed your hesitation and she could practically hear the way you wear nervously chewing your lip, so she sighed.

“Alright, listen. If you really don’t want to go, then don’t. We’ll understand. But I personally think it wouldn’t change anything if you stayed away. Unless you want to drown in your sorrows and don’t want me there to catch your tears. If you regret your decision it’s not my fault, just saying!”

You chuckled at her words. She was right, if you stayed home you would probably miss all of them and regret missing out on the fun. You promised yourself that you would try your best to act as normally as possible around Sunghoon. Still, the fact that you had to see him again scared you shitless.

Reflecting over the past few days made you come to the conclusion that you were incredibly stupid to deny him like that. You were angry at yourself that you couldn’t just admit that you liked him as much as he liked you. And even when you had another chance at making things right, you were still insecure whether it would be the right decision.

And now that you’re clear about your intentions, it was too late. Sunghoon ended the last conversation and you felt like it was final. There was no fixing now and no going back. So, you had to live with the fact that you ruined a potential relationship with your best friend who you had caught feelings for months ago. And no matter how you put it, it was a hard pill to swallow.

Little did you know that Sunghoon also regretted his decision. He came to realize that he might have been too harsh to you, that he reacted out of emotion and not reason. Sunghoon had never felt this strongly for anyone and it scared him, so he naturally thought he had to protect himself from potential heartbreak just like you tried prior. Guess you two were more similar than expected.

The more he thought about it, the more he understood where you were coming from. It was incredibly unfair how you treated him, but he started relating to it as he was going through a similar process now. Both of you made mistakes and both of you could have done better. What mattered now is how to fix it. And to say Sunghoon was terrified about his next steps was an understatement.

A couple of days later, you were all set and ready to go on the long-awaited road trip. You went over some requests with Yunjin, for example that you’d rather drive in a different car than Sunghoon so you won’t be stuck with him in a close space for hours. If you were in different cars, it would most likely be more comfortable for everyone involved, and Yunjin agreed.

You managed to squeeze yourself in the same car as Jay, who was driving, Heeseung, Kazuha and Chaewon. You were glad that you managed to get in Jay’s car because you believed him to be a better driver than Jake. Plus, Heeseung’s road trip playlist almost hit different, so you were in for a fun (and loud) ride.

Four hours passed by in a flash and you only realized that you arrived when Jay turned into the parking lot. Fortunately, the atmosphere in the car was lighthearted and you thanked yourself for making the decision to put yourself and Sunghoon in separate cars.

You also told Yunjin that you weren’t going to sleep in the same cabin as well, since that’s awkward. She respected that, assigning the cabins by gender anyway which earned groans from Chaewon and Jake who wanted to share one.

“You’re kidding right? The cabin is meant for 3 to 4 people, ain’t no way you’re going to do any nasty shit in there.” Yunjin scolded, earning a chuckle from the rest of the group.

“We were just going to cuddle, calm down.” Chaewon defended with a glare and Yunjin scoffed.

“Yeah sure, like last year?” Yunjin laughed and both Chaewon and Jake turned red, exchanging guilty looks. You couldn’t help but snort, catching everyone’s attention including Sunghoon’s. It was the first time you exchanged glances that day and you instantly felt goosebumps rise up your skin.

Was he always that handsome? You had a feeling Sunghoon looked even better than usual, or you were imagining things because you had been idolizing him the past couple of days. The more you contemplated your friendship, the more you realized how perfect he was. Seeing him now just confirmed your theories. You had been absolutely blind the last couple of months.

You gulped and quickly looked away, unable to catch the small smile that was playing on Sunghoon’s lips. He loved seeing you have fun and hearing you chuckle made his heart swell. Sunghoon realized he’s been so stupidly in love with you that there was no way he wasn’t trying to fix whatever you had ruined. He just didn’t know how he was to do that.

Once you dropped your stuff inside the cabin, half of your group went straight to the beach. Yunjin caught up with you and bumped your shoulder playfully, making you laugh. Even though you still felt down because of the whole situation with your best friend, you were really excited and relieved that you decided to go on the road trip. The beach and the scent of salt water instantly gave you serotonin and the karaoke session you had in the car raised your mood as well.

“How was the car ride? Ours was pretty boring, everyone slept half of the time and I don’t think Sunghoon has said a single thing the entire ride.” Yunjin recited and hearing his name made your heart skip a beat. As if on cue, Sunghoon was running past you to catch up with Jake, sparing you a quick glance. You didn’t know how to react, so you simply turned to Yunjin furrowing your brows in question.

Sunghoon always claimed himself to be an introvert, but you knew that especially in your friend group, he was glowing and more talkative than ever. The fact that he was quiet, even today, worried you. Yunjin could tell by the way you bit your lip that you were contemplating something.

“Will you try and talk to him?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Your attention quickly shifted towards Heeseung who was picking up Chaewon like it was nothing, running with her to the sea and throwing her into the water despite her obvious protests. She screeched in panic and when she got out of the water, she scowled at him.

“Oh, you wanna get fucked up.” She announced, fixing him with a challenging look and you could see Heeseung’s eyes turning wide before she lounges herself at him. He was quick to dodge her attack, running away as fast as he can despite the water inevitably slowing him down. When he locked eyes with you, it was like he locked in a new target.

The glint in Heeseung’s eyes scared you and the moment he approached you, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Before you could object he was next to you, grabbing you by the hip and throwing you over his shoulder.

“You’re next.” He giggled and ignored the way you slapped his back and screamed for him to let you go. Unable to prepare yourself in time, you were suddenly being met with the cold ocean water engulfing your body. When you broke through the surface, you couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, a sound Sunghoon missed so dearly that when he took notice, his heart fluttered.

Even more laughter erupted from you when Chaewon kept her promise and surprised Heeseung from behind, pushing him underwater as well. The antics continued until you rescued yourself to the shore, Yunjin promptly throwing a towel your way. Jake was quick to catch Sunghoon’s longing gaze for you but decided not to blurt a stupid comment, instead smiling at the pining of his friend.

Once you settled down on the beach you stripped out of the shirt that you initially planned to keep dry, but Heeseung destroyed those plans. While wringing out the access water from the shirt, you observed how Sunghoon and Jake stripped out of their shirts as well, ready to join your other friends in the water. Upon seeing Sunghoon’s toned abdomen, you were instantly reminded of the night you shared together. It made your stomach twist knowing you could have had all this to yourself and let it slip from your grasp.

“Okay, now you’re just blatantly staring.” Yunjin commented with a click of her tongue and a chuckle, following your gaze. You were glad that the temperatures made your face blush already so Yunjin couldn’t detect the heat climbing up your cheeks.

When Jake noticed your fixated gaze on Sunghoon, he quickly whispered something to the latter, making him turn around in an instant to lock eyes with you. Your eyes widened immediately and you tried to be nonchalant about it, looking away quickly. Both guys smirked at that, making Jake lean into Sunghoon once more.

“What is that? You guys are acting like two teenagers going through puberty who are obviously crushing on each other but too shy to strike up conversation.” He pointed out and Sunghoon let out a deep, long sigh. If only it was that easy, he thought.

After you tired yourselves out in the water, you decided for a cliché bonfire to end the night. Sunghoon plopped himself down at the other end of the bonfire opposite from you, the flames almost swallowing your view on him. You didn’t know if he did that on purpose, but you couldn’t help and steal glances from each other whenever you were roasting marshmallows. This didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Sunoo ended up judging you hard for constantly shooting heart eyes at each other from afar.

You actually hadn’t talked all day, it was silent pining from both sides and it made your friends go absolutely crazy. Could you finally get it over with?

Unfortunately, the pining continued the next couple of days, neither of you ready to approach the other. It was frustrating you, to say the least. You figured that it was his turn to come to you after he ended the conversation the last time. Additionally, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself again like you did at the cinema.

You couldn’t pinpoint the atmosphere between you two, it seemed somewhat stiff yet not as terrible as it was during the cinema night. Anyone could tell that you both reflected on your behaviors and had a different mindset from before, so it was just as frustrating for your friends to notice your constant pining. Sunoo judged even harder than usual.

Yunjin tried to talk some sense into you, but you swiftly refused to make the first step. She ruffled her hair in frustration while washing her face to get ready for bed.

“Y/N please. Put your pride aside for once, this isn’t going anywhere.” She nagged in a way that reminded you of a typical Korean ahjumma.

“Y/N I have to agree with Yunjin for once. This is absolutely nerve-wrecking for all sides.” Chaewon added, turning around in her chair and interrupting her skincare routine.

You groaned. Couldn’t they let you deal with that alone? The situation was hard enough as is, it didn’t help that eight people kept track of your every move on top of it.

In the cabin next to yours, the boys were similarly pushy towards Sunghoon, earning annoyed glances from him. Like you, it annoyed him how everyone was observing and waiting for one of you to make a move. He wanted to figure this out with you alone, not while a whole group of people was watching.

That night, the constant nagging from your friends made you spiral into overthinking everything again. You dissected your conversations with Sunghoon once more, not able to get a wink of sleep or even feel tired. The whole ordeal stressed you out to the point where you needed to let go a bit. Not wanting to bother your cabinmates, you snuck outside, making your way to the pier to sit down and watch the moon a bit. The warm breeze that tickled your nose made you inhale deeply.

Such a beautiful vacation that is troubled by Sunghoon and my relationship, you thought. You really made it difficult for yourselves. This could have been so easy and yet you chose to do it the hard way. You still wondered why your head blocked you from telling Sunghoon what your heart wanted all this time. Why it took you so long to let those feelings take over. Why it was met with so much denial from your end in the first place.

You were now more sure than ever that you wanted to have Sunghoon by your side. The thought of having to continue life without him scared you to bits and you hoped you would never have to experience the reality of it, even though there was still a possibility he wouldn’t let you in anymore.

The more you thought about it, the more overwhelmed you became. A single tear ran down your cheek, quickly followed by another until you were silently sobbing into nothingness, the vision of the moon in front of you becoming blurry.

The sound of footsteps approaching snapped you out of your daze and you quickly wiped your tears, thinking it was one of the lifeguards scolding you for being on the pier so late. You were about to utter a half-assed apology when you turned around only to be met with Sunghoon standing a few feet away from you on the pier.

Sunghoon couldn’t doze off either, staring at the ceiling when he picked up a shuffling sound outside. He silently got up, making sure not to wake the others, and went over to the window only to see you emerge on a journey to the pier. He didn’t know what came over him, but his feet moved on their own and before he knew it, he was at the pier too.

It felt like everything froze for a moment when you locked eyes, a concern shading his gaze that made you shiver. You didn’t know what to say, your heartbeat picking up from his mere presence. You never noticed the effect he had on you until this trip.

“I’ve never liked to see you cry.” He said softly, almost as if he was pitying you, but you knew how he meant it. You sniffed in response, turning around since you suddenly felt hyperaware about how ugly you must have looked right at that moment.

The wood creaked underneath Sunghoon when he approached you, slow and cautious as if he was afraid you would freak out otherwise. When he stood right behind you, he contemplated his next move, biting his lip nervously. Just like you, he hadn’t thought this through. Suddenly standing in front of you overwhelmed him, and he needed a moment to calculate his next move.

“May I?” he suddenly asked, pointing at the spot next to you. You didn’t dare look at him now that he was so close, so you simply nodded. From the corner of your eye you could make out how he was sitting down. Scared to make eye contact you focused intently on the clouds forming above you.

Silence engulfed you and the only sound you could make out is that of the waves crashing at the poles of the pier. You didn’t know how to strike conversation and he seemed similarly in thought of how to carry on. Suddenly you wondered if he wasn’t saying much because he was still mad at you, and the thought alone made you anxious. You sighed heavily, being overly curious all of a sudden.

“Will you ever not be mad at me anymore?” you spoke up carefully, afraid that this question alone will make him snap. He turned out to be very calm, though. You didn’t know if that soothed your nerves or freaked you out even more. Sunghoon had the faintest of smiles playing on his lips.

“I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed and confused because I couldn’t figure you out.” He explained, making you scoff.

“I couldn’t even figure myself out, how were you supposed to?” you turned to him with curved eyebrows, and it was the first time on the trip that you saw him this close. The look in his eyes held something you couldn’t quite pin down again, but this time, it was much softer. It calmed you down, sending an exciting shiver down your spine.

His smile grew upon your rhetorical question and you swore he never looked better. You loved seeing him smile, seeing those dimples forming. You couldn’t help but mirror his expression, silently exchanging words you didn’t dare to speak out loud. You noticed how this situation calmed you down and made you incredibly nervous at the same time. You didn’t know where this was going.

Your smile dropped suddenly, and so did Sunghoon’s. He furrowed his brows softly, and you wished to flatten the crease forming between his eyebrows. Anxiety glossed over your eyes and you decided to be honest with him.

“I’m scared, Sunghoon.” He nodded understandingly and it looked like relief washed over him. For a moment he got terrified, thinking that you might turn him down once more. It wouldn’t make sense, but nothing made sense to him anymore anyway.

“I’m scared too.” He admitted, looking down at this hands that he was fidgeting agitatedly. You couldn’t describe it, but he looked tense and relaxed at the same time. Tensed because he was fearing ultimate rejection, relaxed because no matter what, your presence eased his mind.

Your mind suddenly threw you back to everything you two had been through. Several tragic exam seasons, friends of yours moving away, petty fights in the group chat over something completely stupid and reconciliations joined by tears and hugs, heartbreaks on both ends and comfort when each other’s grandparents died. You had survived so many tragedies together, so there was logically speaking no way you could not overcome this one.

Realization hit you that it was now or never. You had to tell him how you feel, honestly this time. No hiding, no beating around the bush. You forced yourself to say the words you were scared of for so long.

“I like you.”

It took Sunghoon’s head only a millisecond to snap towards you, as if he had to make sure what he heard was really what you had said. You locked eyes again and the way his gaze changed almost made your heart jump through your chest. He looked like he had finally heard the words he wanted to hear from you for such a long time. The only thing he ever wanted to hear from you.

Sunghoon was malfunctioning because now that you had finally confessed to him, he didn’t know what to do. As stupid as it sounds, because he had more than enough time, he didn’t prepare for this scenario. Not even in his daydreams did he play this scene out in his head. He had always skipped the awkward confession and jumped right into the domestic relationship stuff.

Sunghoon gulped and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. There was only one right answer, and he knew it.

“I like you too.”  

The sparkle in your eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon when he uttered those words again, the words that had left a bitter taste in your mouth when he rushed them out for the first time. But now all your stomach could do is hurt from all the butterflies, the look in your eyes finally reciprocating those of the boy in front of you.

You sit there for a moment, basking in each other’s presence and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you were on the same page about this after all. You were scared that Sunghoon will never want to speak to you again, and right now you couldn’t be happier that he decided to approach you one more time, giving you the chance to rebuild your relationship on a different level.

After a while of staring at each other and taking in each other’s confession, you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter together. This whole ordeal was so stupidly romantic despite the bumpy start and you had a hard time trying to contain your amusement.

“We should have done this the first time already.” You admitted, shaking your head at the painful memory of Sunghoon scaring you away with his revelation. Sunghoon couldn’t help but raise his brows at you in disbelief.

“Yeah? Well, whose fault was that?” he challenged and guilt glossed over your face, your lips forming a pout. The boyish grin he was wearing only grew wider.

“Stop blaming me, I know I fucked up.” You acknowledged, dropping your head in shame. Sunghoon was quick to shoot a hand under your chin, making you look up at him again.

“We both did. It’s fine.” He reassured with a smile, and you could only do so much as copy it. Silence took over once again, his hand slowly dropping from under your chin, landing on your own. You noticed that Sunghoon was pondering over something, and the mischievous smirk that was forming didn’t help.

You threw your head back in agony. He was getting playful again and you hated loved it.

“Oh boy, what is it now?” you were careful to ask, not sure if you really wanted to know what was on his mind right now. Sunghoon cleared his throat.

“You know, I just think it’s funny that you told me to get laid and then turned out to be the person to do it shortly after.”

Yep, you didn’t want to know what was on his mind. He chuckled and your face ran pale upon hearing him. You groaned in frustration, hiding your face in your hands in embarrassment. Your shy reaction made Sunghoon laugh even harder, throwing his head back in his usual manner and he couldn’t help but tease you a bit since he hadn’t done it in a while. Seeing your agitated look was enough to satisfy him.

You were so immersed that you didn’t notice the wind picking up speed and the clouds thickening. Only when an especially strong breeze almost swept you from the pier did you realize that a storm was coming.

“I think we should go.” Sunghoon nodded in agreement and the moment you got up, you felt the first drop of rain hit your face.

It wasn’t the last one for sure and before you knew it, it was pouring. You quickly came to the conclusion that running to the cabins would be too far, so you opted for the little lifeguard hut near the beach instead. The cold rain hitting you made your legs carry you to the hut even faster, unconsciously intertwining Sunghoon’s hand with yours.

You yelped a little when he pushed you forward, motioning you to hurry up since the rain was hitting you at high speed now. Whatever you expected from tonight, it was not going to bed soaking wet. But it also wasn’t Sunghoon and you to reconcile. You win some, you lose some.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached the small veranda in front of the hut. Thankful that the porch had a canopy, you breathed heavily and relaxed against the walls of the house. You glanced at Sunghoon and noticed that he was completely drenched from head to toe. Much to your dismay, you realized that you were just as soaked. But the moment you caught each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but giggle again.

The hopeless romantic in you couldn’t be happier right now. You watched as the rain only poured harder, so you had no choice but to stay under the canopy for a while.

You noticed Sunghoon was struggling with his hair, one strand always falling into his eyes no matter how many times he tried to push it back. You couldn’t help yourself, your hand shooting up towards his face to fix it.

“Here, let me.” You said, fully turning to him while he did the same. Instead of fixing it, you ruffled his hair even more, causing several strands to drop in front of his eyes. Despite the hair covering his eyes, you could feel the unimpressed look he probably gave you. You snickered and proceeded to actually fix his hair this time.

Once you finished tugging his hair back, you noticed how much he was staring at you. You slowly retracted your hand from his hair, trying to decipher his look. Nothing but love, you concluded, and it was confirmed once he opened his mouth to speak.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. The longing in his eyes almost made you faint and without a second thought, you pushed yourself forward to connect your lips. It took you only a second to melt into him, lips moving like they had always belonged together. Sunghoon’s hands were quick to find your waist again while yours wandered around his neck.

“Closer.” He whispered against your lips, pulling you towards him by your waist, close not being close enough as his lips worked wonders against your own. You were trying to lean back to catch your breath, but Sunghoon didn’t let you, chasing after your lips relentlessly as if he had to make up for something. Your back was arched and Sunghoon towered over you, making you feel even smaller.

You couldn’t help but let your hand wander into his hair, scratching his scalp slightly, which elicited a small gasp from him. Taking the opportunity, you let your tongue slowly dance against his own and he was quick to follow along.

Sunghoon only broke apart from you when he felt like suffocating, pressing his forehead against yours to catch his breath. You opened your eyes slowly, instantly being met with his own. You had never felt so cherished before, so adored. The moment you caught him staring at you with the most loving gaze, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile which he quickly mirrored.

Time seemed to stand still, the rain only a faint background noise as you basked in each other’s presence once again. The kiss and your gazes held so much emotion, so much you two wanted to share with each other earlier but couldn’t. But no matter how chaotic things got at the beginning of the summer, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.

“Do you really think we need to take pictures?” A hushed whisper could be heard from one of the cabins.

“Of course! The others wouldn’t believe us if we just told them.” Another voice responded, almost drowned out completely by the rain.

“We’re going to tease them about this to no end, are we?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Masterlist

[uvobreakmylegs]

Lost in the Shadows

part 3!!! so so sorry for how long the third part of poly!vampire! Uvo x reader x Nobu took but it’s here and I hope everyone enjoys😊

Part 1 | Part 2

Warnings: fem!reader, death, gore, blood, murder, captivity, starvation, smut

Word count: 11.4k

….. You were losing it.

However long it had been since you had been taken by them – a few months now? More than that? You had no clue – the mental stress was starting to make you break, and you didn't know how much longer you had until your last semblance of sanity would finally be lost.

They didn't let you go outside, saying it was to protect you from the sun while you were left feeling stir crazy.

They made you stay awake during the nights and sleep during the day while telling you it was most natural for you now.

They didn't let you eat normal food and kept giving you “blood” while insisting that was what it actually was.

They left during the nights, coming back shortly before dawn while smelling heavily like the “blood” they'd been giving you.

They kept insisting that they were vampires.

And they kept insisting that you were one as well.

…...

….. Bullshit.

Vampires aren't real. They're just crazy.

They kept you inside because you were a missing person and they didn't want you to be discovered. Your internal clock was fucked up because they made you wake up at night with them. The packets they gave you obviously had some sort of nutrient in them that was sustaining you. And they returned to you smelling like the contents of those packets because they were living a delusional fantasy and were using that as a way to sell you on it.

But you knew it was all a lie. And you told them that.

They responded by taking away the packets.

Now you were laying between the two, wide awake while they slumbered. They looked like they were dead again, but there were no thoughts of trying to repeat your escape attempt from last time. You felt weak, even more weak than you did the last time you had gone without eating, and you couldn't even move your limbs without great effort, much less gather up the strength to force yourself to stand.

Your limbs were like lead, your skin felt clammy and your mouth was incredibly dry with no hint of moisture whatsoever.

How long had it been since they stopped feeding you? It couldn't have been more than three days, you thought. They hadn't given you any water either, and while a person could survive for a while without food, the max amount of time one could survive without fluids was only three days. So it couldn't have been more than that since you were still alive.

Despite how you thought you had counted them leaving during the nights being more than three times, it wasn't more than that. It couldn't be. You were just confused and mixing up past memories with more recent ones. That was all. They were adamant that they wanted you with them, so they'd give you something sometime soon. All of this was a punishment for holding onto your common sense and not believing in the fantasy they wanted you to live with them.

You kept your gaze on the ceiling, not wanting to look at either of them and be confronted with how they looked dead again.

Maybe they took drugs of some kind which caused them to look that way.

Or maybe they were giving you something that made them appear that way in your mind.

They hadn't given you anything within three days, though.

….. Must've been something in the air. Maybe an incense or something else that was meant to be burned. One that was odorless but still managed to affect your mind. You'd never heard of anything like that before, but it probably existed.

Regardless, it was still a better idea to not look at them or linger on it. They'd messed with your head enough.

So your gaze stayed on the blank ceiling while you tried to imagine what it was like up there. Or rather, what it was like outside. For them to be asleep like they were, it seemed likely that it was sometime during the day. Perhaps the middle of the day. You remembered times when you had woken up in the middle of the night for no reason and this felt similar to that.

What kind of area was the house located?

You tried to think back to what you had seen the day you'd gotten out, and all you remembered from what you'd seen in the backyard was a wooded area and a house beyond that. But other than that, you weren't sure.

Maybe you could hear the sounds from the outside if you closed your eyes and focused. It wouldn't do much to get you out of here but maybe you could discern more about your location that way, maybe figure out if there was anyone else in the are who could possibly help you.

So you closed your eyes, trying to focus on the area above you and not the low hum that came from the electronics kept down here and the fact that you couldn't hear any breathing coming from either Nobu or Uvo.

As soon as you did that, something from within the house in the floors above you caught your attention.

…. Music.

You heard music.

It didn't sound loud enough to be someone practicing an instrument, so it was a recording.

Shalnark was listening to something, then.

You noted the sound of the saxophone playing prominently on the track. It was probably from the 80's, then. People from that time couldn't get enough of the saxophone.

You couldn't blame them. It was a good instrument.

As you lay there listening, you felt some of your stress ebbing away. Not completely – you were still stuck with delusional kidnappers – but enough that you felt some of the tension leave you. Enough that you could momentarily ignore how hungry and weak you felt.

You were grateful you couldn't hear Uvogin or Nobunaga breathing in that moment: just that small bit of noise from the both of them would've been a constant reminder to you of where you were. At least with the almost complete silence that was in the basement, you were allowed to focus on the song being played above you without any interruptions, and therefore allowed you a small bit of peace as you let your mind drift and take yourself away from that spot in the basement.

After all that you'd been through, you deserved a momentary refuge.

The moment ended far too soon.

A door crashed open, bringing you out of the calm mood you'd only just managed to achieve. Your eyes snapped open as you heard something being dragged across the floor upstairs. Something large. Something that was moving as it was pulled.

And when it stopped just above the space where you were laying, you heard muffled noises that sounded similar to a voice that was unable to be heard clearly due to some obstruction.

At some point during all of this, the music was stopped.

There was a moment of silence, and then a snarl.

Then the muffled voice tried to scream.

What followed were sounds that were horrific: teeth that bit into flesh as easily as a knife cutting into butter and a strong jaw that held on tightly as whatever it was that had been bitten began to thrash. The muffled voice became louder for only a short moment before something was ripped out. The only noise that came after was a strained wheezing sound that could barely be heard over the noise of breaking bones, meat being torn apart and the constant clacking of a dog's nails on the hardwood floor that went around in circles over whatever had been placed on the floor above you.

The sounds were awful and you wanted to scream for whatever was happening up there to stop.

But any attempt at that was halted when the smells drifted down to you.

Iron.

The same metallic smell that the packets had, yet somehow it smelled..... Fresher? You couldn't describe how you could tell such a thing, that was just the sense you got.

It was what you would smell on Nobu and Uvo when they would come back, you realized.

To your horror, you realized that your mouth was watering, and the pit you could feel in your stomach became even more noticeable. You were starving, and now when you heard the way the meat above you was being ripped off the bone, it only sent more pangs of hunger through you.

Whatever it was up there, you wanted it.

Your teeth bit down on your lower lip as you tried to rationalize what exactly those thoughts were.

But you quickly opened your mouth when you felt far more pain than you were expecting.

When had your teeth become so sharp?

“Sounds pretty gruesome.”

The sound of his voice had you looking over to Uvogin, finding him to be awake and staring at the ceiling as well. The smirk on his face made it seem like he was amused by what he was hearing.

“Shal must be pissed off pretty bad if he was willing to do this during the day,” he added.

…. By 'Shal' he meant.... Shalnark? Shalnark was the one causing all of this?

….. Who was playing the music earlier?

That question was put to the side as Uvogin looked back to you, asking “how are you feeling?”

You couldn't bring yourself to answer, too confused by what was happening upstairs and your reaction to it. Luckily Uvo didn't seem offended by it and went with a different line of questioning.

He motioned to the ceiling with his head as he asked “what do you make of that?”

“... Make of what?”

“What we're hearing,” he said, “what Shal's doing up there; how does that make you feel?”

You looked back to the ceiling and listened, finding that a lot of the sounds had died down by now but the smell was still strong. Whatever had been dragged in was dead now, out of the torment it had gone through.

Something was still up there eating, though.

And as you heard more meat being ripped away and chomped on, only one word went through your mind:

Hungry

“Really?”

You realized you had said that out loud when you heard him say that. Uvo sat up slightly, seeming a bit excited as he said “you aren't put off by all of that?”

“I…. I am,” you answered.

He raised an eyebrow.

“But you said you were hungry.”

“I didn't say that,” you told him, “I didn't say anything.”

“I heard you.”

“No you didn't. You made up your own answer in your head.”

Uvogin stayed quiet for a moment after you said that.

Then he sighed.

“Guess it'll still be a bit before we take you out to feed you,” he said as he settled back down.

The thought of going any longer without any sustenance immediately had you in a panic, and there was enough adrenaline in you to make you flip to your side and grab at his arm.

“I'll die if this goes on any longer,” you said, “please, you need to give me something. I don't wanna starve. I'm sorry. I'll believe whatever you tell me to, so please give me-”

“Quiet down.”

The instant he said that you snapped your mouth shut. Your hands remained on his arm, however, still gripping him with the limited amounts of strength you had left.

“You're not gonna starve,” he told you, “we'll feed you, but you need to be in the right mindset for it otherwise we'll have a mess on our hands.”

“If I don't get anything soon I'm-”

“I said quiet.”

You shut your mouth again, and this time there was something in your mind that told you not to speak unless he said it was okay. You didn't want to listen to that but you felt that you had no choice in the matter.

“Just wait a bit longer,” he continued, “when you're finally ready to accept it, you'll be given what you need.”

His gaze softened slightly when he glanced over and saw how you looked ready to cry, and it seemed like he was trying to console you when he reached over to caress your cheek.

His touch didn't do anything to soothe you. All it really did was make you more upset that he would pretend to be caring and you wanted to call him out on it.

But he told you to be quiet, so you didn't say anything.

“You know, this wouldn't be happening if you weren't in denial,” said Uvogin.

You wanted to protest. You weren't in denial, you just lived in the real world where things like vampires and hellhounds didn't exist, because believing in things like that were for little children, superstitious old people and people who weren't mentally well.

But an internal voice repeated his previous order yet again: be quiet.

Uvo leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead before he told you “close your eyes and go back to sleep. Nobu had a rough time last night and I don't wanna deal with him being annoyed if we wake him up early.”

You didn't want to sleep. You wanted him and Nobu to do the right thing and let you out of here.

But in the same way that you had stopped talking, you closed your eyes when he told you to, much to Uvogin's amusement as he chuckled while mumbling something about you being “almost there.”

By the time you managed to get to sleep, the smell from upstairs was starting to fade away.

It felt like it had been much longer than three days at this point, and by now you were too tired to even attempt to rationalize how you were still alive. It was too much effort to think back on how long it had been since that day you and Uvo spoke, too much effort to try and count back the days to the best of your ability.

Anything that didn't involve you laying curled up on your side on the mattress was too much effort.

Your stomach had never felt more empty, and there was a pain that ran through your whole body every time that emptiness made itself known.

You truly felt like you were at death's door.

And apparently it was only then that the two of them decided to do something about it.

That night, there wasn't any explanation when they dragged you up off of the mattress and up the basement steps, though Uvogin ended up needing to wrap an arm around your waist and carry you up when you had difficulty navigating the stairs. Despite it being the first time they had taken you out of the basement, there were no thoughts of escape. You didn't have the strength in you to try and wrench your arm out of the grip Uvo had on it. Instead, you were taken out to where the dented pickup truck sat. Nobunaga took his place in the driver's seat. Uvo placed you back in the truck bed before joining you there.

They didn't say anything about what was happening.

You didn't question it, either.

The air was fresh and the sky was painted in different shades of red and orange that would soon turn dark once the sun finished setting. The last time you would've seen something like this would've been the night they took you, yet you immediately turned your head away once you caught sight of the light from the horizon. Looking at it hurt. And you soon found yourself pressing up against Uvo and trying to hide behind his form as if that would protect you from any burning pain the light would bring.

Uvogin gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Nobunaga started up the truck, and your hands went to your ears as you found the truck's engine to be unusually loud. It only got louder when the truck began to move and the wheels began to move over the surface of the pavement and for the first few minutes during this journey, you sat with your hands over your ears.

Uvogin still didn't say anything, but eventually you were able to tolerate all the noise a bit better. To the point that you were able to take your hands away. And when nearly all traces of the setting sun had slowly disappeared below the horizon, you felt comfortable enough to pull away from Uvo.

You had felt a similar pain and weakness when you'd gotten out that time, you recalled.

…. Probably because of how long they'd kept you inside.

How much therapy would you need in order to get back to normal if you were ever able to escape them? Probably more than you'd be able to afford.

You weren't sure how long you were on the road: after a while your weakness had you feeling like you were drifting in and out of consciousness and you couldn't focus on anything. You had no clue what Nobu was doing aside from driving, but in the moments when you had a better grip on your surroundings, you sensed Uvogin looking down at you. Maybe he was wondering why you weren't asking any questions about what was happening.

Was this a further punishment for what you'd said the other day? And where exactly were they taking you?

Not wanting to try and raise your voice to speak to Uvo over the sound of the truck, you kept quiet, figuring that there needed to be an explanation at some point.

When exactly the truck had stopped, you couldn't say. All you knew was in one moment, Uvogin had hopped out of the bed of the truck and had turned to you, motioning for you to follow. When you didn't do that, he held out his hand to you as he said “c'mon, babe. Get out.”

You responded to that order without hesitance, moving over and taking his hand so he could pull you out.

You stood on unsteady legs when he let you go, and for a moment you felt like you were going to fall over. That was when a different pair of hands grabbed you by your shoulders, and you turned your head to find Nobunaga holding you steady as he looked down at you.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Ready?” you repeated.

You cringed a little after you heard your own voice – it sounded so raspy and terrible.

“I think it's better you not say anything,” Uvo said to Nobunaga, “she might put up a fight otherwise.”

“True,” Nobu replied to him. Then he gave you a pat on the shoulder as he said “okay, let's go.”

This time he was the one to take ahold of your wrist and pull you behind him while Uvogin took the lead.

Where were they taking you?

Looking ahead as you thought that, you were surprised when you saw an area full of buildings and people. Somehow you hadn't noticed that the three of you weren't alone until now. Families, couples and groups of friends were spread out along a line of shops that faced a boardwalk overlooking the ocean. The fact that you were next to a body of water also only became apparent to you once you looked over and saw it, and the sounds of the waves and the smell of the ocean breeze hit you immediately after.

Why had they brought you here? Especially when they had kidnapped you. Shouldn't they be worried about one of the many people here possibly recognizing you? There were so many potential witnesses, so many cameras that were taking pictures as the three of you got closer, and when you looked back to the shops, you saw that most of them had security cameras at the front. All it would take was one person, either here on the boardwalk or later on looking at footage taken of tonight, to recognize you and pass that information on to the authorities. Why would they take such a risk after keeping you hidden for as long as they did?

“What'll you do if someone realizes who I am?” you asked. Your voice had been barely more than a whisper, but Nobu had heard you regardless, turning his head as he answered you.

“Why would someone know you?” he asked.

“Because.... You kidnapped me, so I must've been listed as a missing person, right?”

Nobunaga smiled at you.

“I wouldn't worry about anything like that,” he told you, “just focus on what we're doing now.”

“What are we doing now?” you asked.

“Just wait and see.”

….. You didn't like that answer.

The three of you walked along the edge of the boardwalk closest to the beach, passing by an increasing number of people the longer you went. Those who bothered to glance in your direction mostly took a quick look at Uvogin before turning their gaze away and were gone too fast before you could try to get their attention.

All it would take would be for one person to raise the alarm and you'd have a crowd of people who would surely come to help you. If only someone would notice the pleading glances you sent in the direction of any and all who passed you by.

Help was so close.

But no one was paying attention to you.

You could hear all of them clearly, though.

Some of the people who ignored you were speaking, and you caught snippets of conversations amid bits of music that came from speakers from inside the various shops. The people you heard were talking a little louder than what would've been normal, probably because the sheer number of people present forced them to speak louder in order to be heard. But to you it sounded like they were yelling.

The electric glow of the lights and the amount of them that dotted the area of the walkway were also having a negative effect on you, and soon after you needed to avert your eyes and watch your shoes as Nobunaga continued to lead you along.

This was strange, you thought to yourself. Things had been difficult initially on the car ride but you'd gotten over it; why were things getting worse for you now?

A gust of wind carried the ocean breeze your way, and suddenly you were hit by an overwhelming scent of salt. In that moment it was all you could smell and the strength of the scent combined with how sudden it was caused you to feel weak at the knees as it made you want to throw up.

The meager strength in your legs finally left you and you fell to the ground.

Too much.

The smells, the lights and incessant noise that came pouring out of every inch of the boardwalk that caused a pounding to consistently pulse through your skull was quickly tearing down your last shreds of sanity. Everything felt wrong; you'd been kept isolated for far too long of a time and now entering a place like a busy boardwalk had you wanting to crack open your own skull in the hopes that it would relieve you from the way everything was overwhelming you completely. The lights were too bright, the different smells were too strong, even the surface you were sitting on felt wrong against your skin, the texture of the wood sending an unpleasant twitch running through your whole body anytime you shifted slightly on top of it.

And then the noise.

It almost sounded like you could pick out every individual voice that was currently speaking. Any and all words from dozens and dozens of interchangeable conversations seemed to be in competition with each other just so they could reach your ears:

A child was crying about a toy of theirs that had fallen off the edge of the fence and down into the water while their parent scolded them for putting the toy in such a spot in the first place.

A group of women were ganging up on a single man and accusing him of cheating on his girlfriend and talking over him when he tried to defend himself.

A man was on the phone with someone and was quickly becoming aggressive with whoever was on the other end.

And outside of the voices, the noises of the environment were getting to you as well. Beneath you, you could hear the ocean waves beneath the boards you were sitting on, lapping against the beach and pulling back with it several hundred individual grains of sand before the process was repeated. And above you, you heard the humming of the lights of the shops and lampposts, the electric currents buzzing in your ears despite how far away they were.

And above all of that were the sounds of what you could only describe as being a drumming noise. Multiple drumming noises, in fact, dozens of them, all out of sync with each other and when combined with all of the voices, sounded like a garbled mess that only further assaulted your ears.

Too much too much too much

You wanted to leave. You'd be more than happy to go back to that house as long as you could find peace within the silence after.

Never would you have thought that you'd want to return to the basement they'd been keeping you in for months, but now you were longing for that. To run off to that space and never go near people ever again.

What would your captors think if you shared those thoughts with them?

Nobunaga saying your name broke through the noise of the other voices, and you looked up to find him kneeling in front of you, both hands on your shoulders while he looked concerned. Uvogin was standing next to him, and while he also appeared concerned, he didn't seem as worried as Nobunaga.

“Can you hear me?” Nobu asked you.

You gave him a small nod.

“Alright, then we can keep going,” Uvogin said.

Nobu gave him an annoyed look as he said “we can't keep going as she is right now. We need to take her back.”

“She needs to learn how to hunt and feed,” Uvo countered.

“What kind of hunting do you think she'll be able to do like this? She's helpless.”

“She's not. Once we find suitable prey for her, it'll kick in and she'll do the rest.”

“You keep saying that, but what exactly can she do when she's in this state?” Nobunaga asked.

“She's starving, and that'll make her desperate,” Uvogin stated.

He looked back to you as he smiled, saying “desperation pushes people to do things they might not do otherwise.”

You weren't able to focus on what he meant by that, the pain in your head so great that you had a hard time thinking too deeply.

They continued to bicker while you kept your hands on your ears, trying your hardest to will the pain away. You still caught bits and pieces of what they were saying, and you were struck by how were they able to talk about such things in front of all these people. They spoke of you hunting someone down, and there were really no one among those who passed you by who didn't catch at least some of the conversation and find it to be odd?

“Is she okay?”

A woman's voice interrupted your thoughts, and when you looked back up you found a blonde woman in a baggy blue shirt appearing to be concerned as she looked down at you.

She spoke to Uvo and Nobu again as she asked “should I call an ambulance?”

Uvogin stepped forward as he said “it's nothing too serious. She's just a little lightheaded and overwhelmed. But she'll be fine if we can find a quiet spot for her to calm down.”

“Do you want to take her to the back?” the woman asked, pointing at a shop that sat opposite of you.

She continued with “I'm the manager there. My office is pretty small, but you're welcome to use it if you want.”

“That sounds great. Thanks.”

The woman smiled at Uvo as she said “here, follow me.”

She waited as Nobunaga helped you back up to your feet, and when your eyes met hers, she smiled at you as well.

Panic was starting to course through you as the three of you followed her into the shop and headed towards the back.

What were they going to do to her?

The air conditioner that was running within the small space of the manager's office was a little too loud and you could still hear noise from the outside, but it was preferable over going back out to the boardwalk.

You were sat down on a creaky office chair that sat behind a small desk, and the woman once again asked Uvo and Nobu if they wanted her to call an ambulance. When they once more assured her that it wasn't necessary, she told you she'd be back with some water.

The two of them stood by quietly as she left, not saying anything to you even after she left the room.

….. The drumming noise had largely gone away, you noted.

Them being so quiet felt strange, and after a few more moments you felt compelled to ask “what are we doing here?”

“What do you mean? She invited us in,” Nobunaga said.

“But why did you agree? What are you going to do?” you asked, your voice sounding more raspy the more you spoke.

“Us? We're not doing anything,” Uvo said, “that's all on you.”

You didn't get a chance to ask what he meant by that when the woman came back in, carrying a cup of water that she held out for you to take.

You managed to mumble out a “thank you” as you accepted it, though when you took a small sip, you found that it didn't offer any sort of relief. Your mouth was still dry and you felt just as disoriented as you had when you first entered the office.

“If you feel like you're going to faint I want you to lay down on the floor,” the woman told you, “I don't want to see you hurt yourself by falling.”

You nodded, though you only vaguely heard what she had said to you as you noticed you could hear that drumming again. It was only a single drum beat this time and much more tolerable than it had been outside. Strangely, it seemed to get louder when the woman got closer to you.

You took a longer sip of your water, hoping that if you finished the whole cup you would finally feel some feeling of refreshment.

You got down to halfway and you still felt thirsty.

“You feeling any better?” she asked you.

You nodded 'yes', but the answer couldn't be further from the truth. Evidently you weren't a good enough liar as she didn't seem to believe you and asked “are you sure?”

She leaned down as she said that, moving to place a hand on your forehead.

The way she was about to touch you probably should've gotten your attention, but instead your eyes were drawn to the glint of something golden around her neck. You were then transfixed on the charm of her necklace: a carousel. One that was largely a golden color save for the white and pink detailing on the three horses that adorned the small piece of jewelry. Taking in the detail that had been put into the charm, you found yourself thinking it was cute.

You paid attention to that fact more than when she spoke again.

“Honey, you're freezing! What happened to you?”

Her voice had been more panicked that time and when you didn't respond, she turned her head towards Uvogin, who had now moved so he was partially blocking the door.

The way she turned her head gave you a clear view of the expanse of her neck, and suddenly your eyes were fixed on that.

The drumming was picking up again, and as you looked at the vein in her neck, you almost felt as though you could hear the blood rushing through it.

Nobunaga was standing behind her, and you were able to note when he straightened slightly when he saw the way you were looking at her, standing stiff as he stared intently at you.

How long you sat there staring at her neck you had no clue, but she still had her head turned towards Uvo, not at all noticing where your attention was.

Your teeth become sharp again, just like they had that day when Shalnark killed something above you, and the sudden sharpness of your teeth almost penetrating your lower lip had you opening your mouth slightly.

The drumming became louder and faster and you were vaguely aware of the way she asked Uvogin why he wasn't answering her.

The cup she had given you fell from your hands and clattered to the floor.

That was when something inside of you snapped.

You surged forward and bit down on her neck.

… For a brief moment, the only thing you heard was the constant noise coming from the the air conditioner.

Everyone else was silent.

She didn't react at first. She just stood there, probably in shock, not understanding what you were doing. Why you had decided to sink your unusually sharp teeth into her throat.

When the blood began to drip from the bite wound was when it finally clicked for her.

Her hands were on you, pulling at your hair and hitting your head, desperately trying to pull you off of her as she demanded to know what the fuck was wrong with you and for you to let her go. She tried to pull away by standing up, but your hands and teeth were clamped onto her with a strength you didn't even know you had and all she did was pull you up with her.

The drumming had sped up with barely any space between beats.

She moved to hit you again but was stopped when Uvogin grabbed her arms from behind and kept her still for you.

Then she tried to scream for help, but that was also stopped when Nobunaga stepped over and placed his hand over her mouth to silence her.

It seemed that was the moment where she realized she was truly helpless.

Tears were running down her face while she began to sob against his hand. You could sense the way she was looking at the door, knowing that there were people out in the shop who could put an end to this if just one of them went to the manager's office and raised the alarm.

No moment like that ever came.

And as you drank more of her blood, she became weaker. Suddenly she wasn't able to struggle as much and her muffled cries for help became softer. When or how you both ended up on the floor you weren't sure, but you became aware that you were straddling her while your mouth remained on her neck.

“Please stop,” you heard her croak out.

But you didn't pay attention. It was like you had blinders on, focused only on having your fill. Once you got what you wanted, then you'd be able to turn your attention to other things.

By now, the drumming had slowed down drastically.

Then it felt like you had reached a limit, and like you had been in a trance, you snapped out of your state of bloodlust, quickly pulling yourself off of the woman's throat.

You weren't sure if you had accidentally bitten down again or if your teeth had gotten stuck in her skin, but you heard a tearing sound as you pulled off of her, and when you looked back down, you saw that you had managed to rip off a chunk of her flesh that was still stuck to your teeth.

There was blood covering the entirety of her neck, and it continued to flow out of the two holes you had punctured into her skin that was aided by the massive one you had torn into her throat. Soon the area around her neck and head began to fill up with the blood that was draining out of her throat, expanding out on the office floor while her breathing became harsher.

The flesh that had still been in your teeth fell out at that point, landing on her chest and directly on top of her necklace that you had been admiring only moments earlier.

She was looking up at you, her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at you with a mix of confusion and shock. She wasn't vocalizing it, likely because she wasn't capable of it, but you knew the question that she wanted to ask:

Why?

You didn't have an answer.

You wondered if that was how you looked on that night, when Uvogin bit you while Nobunaga continued to fuck you. You remembered how utterly helpless and at their mercy you had been. And now you were in the position they had been in, and there was no other emotion you could feel besides unrelenting guilt.

“Sorry.”

You said that in a whisper, and at first you weren't sure if she had heard it. Evidently she did, based off of the look of disgust that formed on her face. She tried to spit at you, though all she accomplished was coughing up blood onto her chin.

She turned her attention back to the door, where she had hoped help would come through for her, and with what seemed to be the last of her strength, she reached an arm out towards it, her fingers straining as though she thought she could get someone's attention that way. Like help could still come for her and she could still be saved.

And not long after her eyes glazed over and her arm fell back to the office floor.

The drumming had stopped.

She was dead.

A woman lay dead beneath you.

….

… You killed this person.

And as the blood pool around her head got bigger, you sat still, looking at her: her unfocused eyes that shined from the artificial lights above you, her mouth that was slightly agape and her tongue that you could see resting against her teeth, the blood coming from her neck that was finally starting to slow down, and her chest that stayed still as she was no longer breathing.

The image of your high school friend came back to mind, just as it had with Nobu and Uvo, and you were struck by the feeling of just how fake she looked in that moment.

Yet only moments ago she'd been alive.

How long would she stay in that state? How long would it take before her body would start to decompose and the insects would find their way to her so they could feed and place their eggs inside of her? And how long would her body decay in this room before she was discovered?

You sat there, looking at the dead person that lay beneath you.

….. You had no explanation for what you had just done.

A large, rough hand grabbed your chin and forced your head up.

Uvogin's lips mashed against yours in a rough kiss as he pulled you close to him, causing you to shift slightly on top of the woman. Your knee ended up pressing against her stomach, and that was enough to force whatever air was left inside of her to come exhaling out.

Uvogin didn't care and continued to kiss you.

He finally pulled away, and when he did, you saw blood smeared all over his lips. He didn't care about that, either.

“You did so good,” he breathed, “I couldn't be prouder.”

He smiled as he glanced behind you, saying “right, Nobu?”

You followed his gaze to where Nobunaga stood, and found the black haired man was staring at you once again. Upon hearing Uvo's question, he nodded before he knelt down and kissed you on the forehead, patting your hair after.

All the while you were still on top of that poor woman's corpse.

Luckily for you, things didn't go any further than the kissing, as Nobu pulled you back to your feet while he told Uvogin “we shouldn't linger for too long. You wanna take care of the employees or should I?”

“I'll take care of it,” Uvo answered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand while saying “clean her up and then let's get going.”

With the majority of the blood that had been on his mouth now smeared across the back of his hand, Uvo walked through the door of the office and back out into the shop area.

Your attention was brought back to Nobu when he knelt back down over the body of the woman. Why he was doing that became apparent when you heard the sound of cloth tearing and he stood back up with a piece of the woman's blue shirt in his hand. He seemed pleased as he began to wipe at your mouth with the cloth, gently holding your chin up with one hand while attempting to soak up the excess blood with the cloth in the other.

“..... What just happened?” you asked him.

Your voice no longer sounded terrible. And you noted that you no longer felt terrible, either. Oddly enough, you felt refreshed, feeling a strength you weren't used to and not at all weak like you'd been earlier.

Nobunaga smiled as he said “you had your first true meal as a vampire.”

…... You didn't know what to say to that.

So you said nothing, allowing him to finish cleaning you up as best as he was able. The blood-soaked bit of shirt was tossed aside after, and he knelt down one last time to grab something else from the body of the woman. Meanwhile, you were trying to process this information, trying to figure out why you no longer felt like death and why your senses were no longer overwhelming you to the point that you felt like fainting. You felt normal again.

Better than normal, actually.

“Alright, let's go.”

Nobunaga grabbed your hand once more as he said that, and just like earlier, you followed along when he pulled you behind him. Both of you left that room without looking at the body – whatever Nobu's reasons were, you didn't know, but you couldn't stand to look at what you had done again.

Uvogin was waiting for the two of you at the entrance of the shop, and the three of you made your way out without any questions from the two other workers that were present in the shop, both having a far-off look in their eyes when you glanced over at them.

The outside was far more tolerable now, and the three of you walked back to the truck without incident.

Nobu took his place in the driver's seat while you and Uvogin ended up in the truck bed, and for a moment relief filled you, that you'd finally go back and get further away from the crime scene left behind at that shop.

“Are we going back?” you asked.

“Not yet.”

“.... I'd like to go back.”

“Don't be so selfish,” Uvogin chided, “you've gotten your fill, but we haven't eaten yet, remember?”

“.... Sorry.”

You wrapped your arms around your knees as you mumbled out that brief apology. Luckily Uvo didn't seem too annoyed, and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you close to him.

“Don't worry,” he told you, “you don't need to do anything else tonight. We'll go back after we feed.”

“.... Are more people going to die?”

“Don't ask stupid questions, babe.”

The motor of the truck roared as it turned on, and the conversation ended.

You could tell where you were before opening your eyes when you awoke once more, the stagnant air that you had become more than accustomed to a dead giveaway. It wasn't a surprise anymore to wake up in that basement, laying on the mattresses in between the two men who called you their lover.

Uvogin had an arm laying on top of you, and when you looked to Nobunaga, you saw he was laying on his side as well, facing you with one hand stretched out towards you, just barely grazing your skin. There was something soft that you were holding, and you found that it was the cat plush. Either one of them had placed it in your arms or you had managed to reach out for it in your sleep.

One of them giving it to you would've been sweet if the circumstances had been different.

Such as the fact that you had killed a person last night.

… No.

There had been a second one.

The memories of how the previous night had ended were coming back: you remembered how Nobu had driven the three of you down a dimly lit trail that led to a beach that seemed relatively secluded. There was some sort of party happening, one where the many people who had been gathered had put together a large bonfire that illuminated nearly all of the beach.

You had still wanted to return to the house so you stayed with the truck. To their credit, they didn't push you to get out. The reason they had gone to that beach was just for themselves; you had only been along for the ride.

You didn't know how the altercation started; your gaze had stayed on your lap while your mind went over everything that had happened that evening. You only noticed something was wrong when you heard raised voices that had been directed at your captors. When you looked up to where they stood, surrounded by a group of angry-looking men, you witnessed the moment where one of them smashed a beer bottle over Nobunaga's head, glass and cheap alcohol raining down on him.

Uvo grabbed the man who hit Nobu and ripped his arm off in retaliation.

The sickening sounds of muscle and bone being ripped apart seemed to echo within the area of the beach as the group there stood stunned for a few moments, all of them trying to comprehend what exactly had just happened. The man who hit Nobu was also silent at first, watching the blood that was spurting from his empty shoulder socket. When he began to scream was when it clicked for everyone else that was there.

And then everything went to hell.

The air of the beach that had been filled with music and laughter quickly filled up with panicked screaming as the two vampires attacked anyone and everyone that was present. They tore out the throats those who tried to run away, keeping them from screaming, before they moved onto the ones who were getting further away. People who made it to the outskirts of the beach were dragged back and were torn apart as the two drank from the open wounds before their victims were haphazardly tossed aside and left to bleed out.

They didn't intend for any to leave that beach alive.

One of the men who saw you sitting in the truck ran up to you and tried to pull you out, shouting at you that you needed to run or else you'd die, too. He was a man who was clearly decent as he took the time to try and help what he thought was a woman who had been stunned by the massacre before her.

But when he got you to the edge of the truck bed, that urge that had compelled you to kill the woman from earlier came back and you latched your mouth onto his neck. The two of you fell to the ground below as you began to suck the life out of him.

It took some time before you pulled yourself off of him, after he stopped struggling and his arms fell limply to his sides.

And when you looked down at him after you'd fed, you found a similar sight in the way the blood pooled around his head just like it had the woman from earlier.

And that was it. That was where your memory ended.

It was probably for the best that was the case.

And now you were back here, in the place you had been for what must've been months, once more laying between two criminals. They were kidnappers, murderers and.....

….. You didn't want to think about the last thing. After all of your insistence that they were delusional, you didn't want to admit that you were wrong and they'd been telling the truth the entire time.

Fucking vampires.

At least you felt a lot better now. A miniscule comfort, all things considered, but it was a welcome change after all that time you had spent feeling like you were teetering between life and death.

….. And now what?

Go back to this existence that you'd been dragged into? Stay with Uvo and Nobu and go out to hunt people when you needed to feed?

Kill people just so you could continue your existence indefinitely?

Your brain was slow to pick up on what that last thought said about you. Or rather, a certain amount of acceptance of the things they had told you. Things that you had vehemently argued against.

Because even with all of your denials, it was hard to explain what had happened with you and those two people in any other way than what they had claimed.

Despite Uvogin's arm being on top of you, you sat upright, staring blankly at the space in front of you as you went over the events of the previous night once more in your head.

You had bitten them. Your canines had grown sharp enough so they could break through skin, and you had drained both of your victims of so much of blood that they died from the blood loss.

You could still see them both: the kind woman who had been worried about you on the floor of the managers office, and the equally kind man who didn't want to see you die on the beach.

And the large portion of blood that had pooled around both of their heads.

But just as large of a portion was what you had fed on.

…....

You didn't want to be down here anymore.

With that thought in mind, you pushed Uvo's arm aside and stood, still carrying the cat plush as you headed towards the stairs.

This time there wasn't any attempt on your part to keep quiet, yet you were barely making any sound as you made your way over. It was more proof that they were right, and therefore it was something else that you didn't want to think about.

It was when you reached the door and opened it that you heard a low voice in the basement saying your name, but you ignored it as you shut the door behind you.

It didn't feel like it had been all that long ago that you'd attempted that escape where you only ended up getting as far as the backyard. And as you remembered which direction the door to the outside had been, you noticed movement from the corner of your eye.

You saw the same dog you had encountered on that day, standing in the kitchen as he stared at you. But you blinked once and suddenly Shalnark had taken the dog's place. There was a small smile on his face, but his voice had a hint of warning in it as he asked you “where are you going?”

After a moment, you answered “nowhere.”

“Really? Because it looks like you're trying to get away again,” he said as you continued to walk to the door.

“I'm just going outside.”

You heard him hum to himself, but he didn't do anything to stop you.

But just as you got to the door, you stopped as you remembered what you had heard happen above you on a day that also hadn't felt very long ago. When something had been dragged inside and ripped to pieces.

You looked back to him as you asked “did you kill someone?”

“Hm? You mean in here?”

You nodded.

Shalnark laughed as he explained “some little shit kept throwing balls into the backyard as an excuse to get back there and try to see inside the house. I finally had enough of his snooping so I put an end to it.”

“...... Oh.”

You turned back to the door, continuing on your way outside. Shalnark still didn't do anything to stop you.

“Well, if you do try something, you won't make it far,” he said, “it sounds like they're coming up to get you.”

He was referring to the movement that you could hear coming from the floor beneath you. Someone else heading to the stairs.

Shalnark began to say something else, but you ignored it as you stepped outside and onto the covered porch.

The last time you had come out this way, it had felt refreshing. But now it didn't feel quite the same. Though the fresh air was still welcome, it was the sight of the sunlight hitting the grass beyond the porch that had you feeling apprehensive. You remembered when you had gone running out and became weak the instant the sunlight touched your skin, the strength in your limbs failing you as you were forced to crawl across the yard before you were brought back inside. While you got a sense that you wouldn't immediately fall over if you were to step out into the light now, you found that you didn't want to do that. Voices at the back of your mind that you didn't recall being there before warned that your strength would deplete rapidly if you did that.

Despite those voices, you walked to the very edge of the porch, and with the cat plush still held in one arm, you reached out with your free hand, intending on holding it out in the sunlight to see what would happen if the light touched your skin.

“If you're so curious, you can just ask what'll happen if you do that.”

That was Nobunaga's voice.

You turned your head to find him leaning against the open doorway. While he looked a bit tired, he didn't appear to be overly concerned about you being out here. Either he was confident that you wouldn't run, or he was confident that he could catch you if you were dumb enough to try again.

“... What will happen if the sunlight touches me?” you asked as you pulled your hand back.

“It'll sting a bit, and your energy will deplete faster. Although, since you fed off of two people last night, it'll take a while before it's as bad as it was last time,” he explained, “you'd last a bit longer before you'd get back to the point where you'd burn up.”

“Just from the sun hitting me?”

“Yeah.”

You took another look at the backyard before taking a small step back from the edge of the porch.

The door swung closed as Nobu fully stepped outside.

“Doesn't look like you're trying very hard to escape,” he said.

“I'm not trying to,” you replied.

“So you just came up to test how you'd do in the sun?”

“Not really,” you said, “I just wanted to sit outside for a little bit.”

For a moment after your answer, he didn't respond.

And when he spoke again, it was with a simple “okay.”

Then Nobunaga moved, easily closing the short distance between the two of you so he could sit down in the middle of the porch.

And when you looked back to him, he motioned for you to sit down as well, patting the area next to him.

The last memory you had of him before you woke up today was of him ripping a person's jaw off, you recalled.

You did what he wanted.

The both of you sat quietly for some time, looking out at the greenery in the backyard while a soft breeze blew past and moved about the leaves of the wooded area at the very back of the property. You found yourself trying to visualize where you had fallen in the yard when you had tried to run when you were distracted by the clicking sounds of a lighter, and you looked over to find Nobunaga lighting up a cigarette.

He noticed you staring and held out the packet of cigarettes to offer you one. You shook your head in response.

“You've never smoked at the house before,” you commented.

“Shal hates the smell,” he answered, “so the rule is that we can smoke all we want but never inside the house.”

You nodded in understanding, and then things turned quiet between the two of you once more.

This time, however, that moment of quiet didn't last as long as Nobu pulled the cigarette away from his lips and asked “what made you come out here?”

“.... I killed someone last night,” you said.

“You killed two people,” he corrected.

You didn't reply to that, and after a moment you got the sense that he realized that wasn't the correct thing to say.

He cleared his throat before he spoke again.

“It might feel weird at first,” Nobu began, “but soon enough you won't even think about it.”

“I won't think about it?” you repeated.

“No.”

“Are you speaking from experience?”

“Well, yeah,” he answered, “I've been at this for a while.”

… How long was 'a while' for him?

And then a new question came to mind: had he once been in the same position as you?

“Do you remember your first kill?” you asked.

Nobunaga blinked in surprised, then leaned back on both hands as he looked up at the ceiling. You could see him trying to recall the memory.

“.... No,” he eventually said.

“No?”

“That was a long time ago now.”

“How long?”

“Couple hundred years, probably.”

“Oh.....”

At some other point in time, you would've disregarded what he had said as more delusions on his part.

You weren't as inclined to do so now.

Nobunaga's hand was on your shoulder then, and he pulled you in closer as he whispered to you “I know it seems tough now, but it'll get easier the more time goes on. Alright?”

“..... I don't want to hurt people,” you told him.

His response to that was to squeeze your shoulder as he repeated “it'll get easier.”

You had a hard time believing that.

Then he pulled away, and it looked as though a light bulb went off in his head.

“Oh yeah,” he said as he reached into his pocket, “I grabbed something for you.”

What he pulled out was a golden carousel necklace with white and pink detailing on the horses. And though it had clearly been washed, there were small remnants of red still present on it.

The woman's necklace.

Nobunaga held it out for you.

You looked at him before looking back to it, and then you shook your head.

“You don't want it?” he asked.

You shook your head again.

“Huh. It seemed to be your style so I thought you'd like it.”

You didn't say anything to that, and after a moment, he set the necklace down on the other side of him.

Things were quiet between the two of you until you heard him sigh. Nobu's shoulders sagged a bit as he reached his hand up to give you a gentle pat on the head. In his own odd way, he was doing his best to be kind to you.

The people you killed were also trying to be kind to you.

Against your better judgment, you decided to mention that fact to him.

“That lady was nice,” you said, “same with that guy later on; both of them were trying to help me.”

“Yeah, and that's why they're dead.”

The way he said that so matter-of-factly had you looking back at him with a disgusted expression.

He wasn't at all phased and asked “what? Are you saying I'm wrong?”

“.... They didn't deserve to die,” you said.

“I don't know if it's really a matter of them 'deserving' it or not,” Nobu answered, “but they were the ones who chose to let their guards down around us.”

Us. That word repeated in your head.

“Why didn't you kill me, then?” you asked.

“Hm?”

“I let my guard down around you, too, but instead you turned me into.... This,” you said, “why do I get to keep going on while they died?”

Nobunaga blew out one last puff of smoke before mashing the rest of the cigarette against the surface of the porch before he answered.

“Because we like you.”

“..... That's it?”

“That's it.”

Apparently it was the end of the conversation, as Nobunaga pulled himself back up to his feet before holding a hand out for you to take. And when you did just that and allowed yourself to be pulled to your feet as well, he led you back into the house.

You didn't fight him on that.

Shalnark was gone when you reentered, and as you made your way back to the basement door, you heard voices from the floor above you, the second floor you hadn't seen yet. Though you couldn't make out any words, you could make out Shalnark's voice and the voice of someone you didn't recognize.

“Is there someone else upstairs?” you asked.

“That's Shalnark's area, so don't worry about it,” Nobu answered.

“Shalnark's area?”

“The ground floor is common area,” he explained, “the downstairs belongs to us, and the upstairs belongs to Shalnark. We don't go up unless necessary, and he doesn't come down unless necessary.”

“So unless whatever's happening up there is affecting us, don't worry about it,” he reiterated.

It was abundantly clear that he wanted you to drop it, so you did, staying silent as he opened the door to the basement.

At another point in time, you wouldn't have just sat quietly while your captor brought you back to the place they had locked you in for months.

But you weren't that person anymore. In more ways than one.

Uvogin was still laying on the bed when the two of you got down there, but he lifted his head up when you approached, raising an eyebrow as he asked “you trying to get away again?”

Nobunaga answered for you.

“No, we went out for fresh air.”

Uvogin hummed, but accepted the explanation.

Then the larger man sat up and reached for one of your hands when you got close.

The last thing you could recall him doing at that beach was taking a bite out of a man's head.

His large hand grabbed yours and he pulled it towards his mouth so he could kiss it.

“Feeling better?” he asked you.

Not in the slightest

“Yeah,” you answered quietly.

“Glad to hear it.”

Uvogin grabbed you then, making you sit on his lap and forcing you to spread open your legs to accommodate his size.

The position he'd forced you into had already given you a bad feeling about where this was going, and it only got worse when Uvo spoke again.

“It's been a while since you let me do this,” he said.

“Let you do what?” you asked.

“Let me hold you like this,” he answered, one hand sliding down to grasp at your thigh while he continued with “the last time I was able to get you to sit in my lap without you kicking up a fuss was the night we claimed you.”

“Oh.”

You weren't sure what to do. Did he want an apology? You glanced over to Nobunaga, noting that he had also taken a spot on the mattress and was watching you two.

“You made us put up with a lot, you know?” Uvo then said, “the least you could do would be to make up for all of those times you fought us.”

You glanced back over to Nobunaga to find that while he wasn't saying anything, he seemed to agree with what Uvo was saying.

It was true that any and all sexual advances had been harshly rejected by you, even when you'd been at your weakest. For whatever reason, they wanted you to be a willing participant when they fucked you again. Maybe they would consider that to be a sign that you were finally accepting them.

As much as you didn't want to do that, rejecting them might result in them starving you again. And along with that, a new worry came to mind:

What would they do if they decided they were tired of you?

The reason Nobu had just given you was that the two of them liked you; if you kept fighting them, at what point would they decide that you weren't worth it anymore? That picking you had been a mistake? And what actions would they take to correct that mistake? Would they starve you, tear you to shreds and then toss the pieces out into the sun so you burned up completely?

What happens to vampires when they die?

After a moment of trying to find your voice, you spoke.

“Okay.”

The two were all over you in an instant.

Nobunaga moved closer so he could pull you into a kiss while Uvogin's hands went to your breasts, squeezing them through your shirt and making you whimper against Nobu's lips.

Uvogin must've been pleased by the noise because he squeezed again.

Nobu then pulled away from the kiss and tilted your head up, and then you felt his teeth against your neck. The bite wasn't hard and didn't even break the skin, but it was in the same area as the scars that were left behind from that first claiming bite from the carnival all those nights ago.

If you just hadn't gone out with your friends, you wouldn't be here.

….. Did Patty and Hollis still remember you?

You frowned as the thought came to mind. Your friends who had left you on your own that night, did they worry about what happened? Would they have been eaten up by the fact that they had left you and blame themselves for you being gone? Or had they gotten over you by now? Had it been long enough for them that they were okay with the fact that you no longer existed in their lives?

Did they even think you were still alive, or had they accepted that you were dead?

You tried to remember: just how long had it taken for you to feel like you were normal again after the death of your high school friend?

Those thoughts were interrupted when Nobunaga tugged off your shirt while Uvogin pulled out his hardened dick, and the larger man grabbed your hand and made you wrap your fingers around his length. You took the hint and ran your hand up and down his dick, squeezing every now and then. Uvo seemed happy with that and he tilted your neck to the side so he could copy what Nobu had done, giving you a light nip in the same spot where he'd bitten you originally. Meanwhile Nobu had pulled your bra out of the way so he could toy with your breasts, and when Uvogin pulled away from your neck, the black haired man leaned down to take one of your nipples into his mouth.

You let out a whine when he did that, and the two of them seemed happier than every by your reaction.

That was better.

Keeping these two happy was better.

And as one of them pushed a hand down the front of your pants so they could gather up some of the wetness coming from your pussy, you repeated in your head some of the things Nobunaga had said to you earlier:

Just don't think about it.

It’ll get easier.

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Satiated

Astarion x F! Dark Urge

18+ violence, beheading, blood drinking, arousal at violence, sub/dom if you squint, p-in-v, sex with armor on, vulnerability, aftercare, complicated feelings, porn w/ very little plot, deranged shit and I'm not sorry

With Astarion starving in the Underdark his bloodthirsty friend sees his hunger, knows it quite well. And with a promised death in their future, seeks to help him sate himself...

-

Their time in the Underdark could have only been days but seemed to drag on endlessly. The lack of sunlight making him miserable. Snappy.

He knew he was being unfair when she asked quietly if he was alright and he scoffed at her. "Please. Spare me the coddling."

There was mild hurt in her eyes but she held her hands up in surrender. "Sorry, Star. I wont ask again."

He almost sighed, compelled to call her back and apologize. But he was nothing if not stubborn.

Honestly, the lack of sunlight was just salt in the wound. The true torment was hunger.

Nearly no wildlife available, and what was stalking around was not easy prey. If the blood in these beasts was any good anyway, he did not feel like risking life and limb every night to get some likely rancid blood.

Sure she had offered her neck a few times but she needed her strength, and it wounded his pride to feel like a charity case.

So the answer to his plight had been the spoils of combat. Any time they felled a duergar, a drow, he was draining the bodies dry.

The first few times his companions had shot eachother looks but she turned them by the shoulder, speaking quietly into their ears. Leading them away to let him feast.

He really did appreciate her, though he was struggling to show it recently. With her bloodlust he knew she understood on some level. Looked at him when he got like this with gentle recognition instead of disgust.

When they reached the Grymforge he felt delirious in hunger. Looking around at all the walking bodies, he could smell the blood.

He set his sights on the Drow, already promised dead to the Myconid's. A full meal. They just needed to get the idiot out of the rock fall and he could be sated.

When it finally came time to kill Nere and his followers he miraculously harvested all of his adrenaline and did his part, firing down arrows from on high. Watching her dance her violence into their foes.

Oh he did love watching her work. Her movements were always so joyful, a wide smile she didn't seem aware of splitting her face. Blades plunging so smoothly through chests, across throats. He adjusted his trousers as subtly as he could from his perch. Hearing her laugh, such a beautiful sound for such violent deeds.

Gods no wonder everyone was afraid of her. He should be too. And yet...

Afterwards the pleasantries were exchanged, the slaves freed, blah blah blah. His eyes were glazed over, all of his restraint focused on maintaining decorum. Mouth salivating, fangs aching.

His patience snapping, he connected to her tadpole. Hells below, can we PLEASE finish this up?

She glanced over at him, a small smile pressing the corner of her lips.

"Get out of here before I change my mind." She growled at the duergar.

"Astarion, help me with the head." She commanded. "Karlach, Lae'zel, take the remaining gnomes to the boats and make sure the path to the elevator is clear. We dont need any surprises."

"Aye, Soldier!" Karlach barked, Lae'zel nodding next to her.

"With me." She whispered, dark eyes meeting his. He raised an eyebrow slightly.

Surely she didn't need help with a beheading. He had watched her do much more strenuous violence quite easily. Ignored the twitch in his armor at the thought.

The Drow's slack form lay in a heap on the rock floor. He saw a shiver go down her spine as she straddled over the body.

"Sorry Astarion, we've got to do this first. Then we'll get you fed."

So she did plan to help him. Through the delirium he felt a tingle of fondness for her.

He could only nod, not trusting his saliva soaked mouth to form words.

She pulled her blade, chest heaving. Deeply aroused he realized, he could smell it radiating from her. He moved back to the shadows next to her to give himself some privacy as his own arousal spiked. The little remaining blood in his body pooling in his lower half.

She lifted the body to a sitting position, holding the torso steady between her knees, gripping the hair for leverage. Pressing her blade down on the throat.

He was confused by her technique at first. Surely it would be easier against the ground? Then realized what she was doing. Gravity. Keeping as much of the blood in the body as possible.

He stifled a moan, hunching over slightly. Gods he felt feral.

Back and forth she sawed through. Her eyes glazing over in pleasure. A slack smile pulling her face. Hips subtly grinding into the torso. Lost in herself.

He understood why she had sent everyone away.

When the head finally came free she gripped the scalp, smiling serenely. Free hand trying to catch the pooled blood pouring from the neck. Finding him in the dark.

Well? Her eyes said, pupils blown.

Shocked that he had forgotten his hunger for a moment he dove on the body.

Lapping and slurping he was lost. Laving his tongue along the plateau of flesh. Stopping to pull the pooled blood in her palm into his mouth, licking her fingers clean. Vaguely aware of a whimper from her lips.

Most of the blood gone from the wound he sank viscously into the lower neck, finding the base of the jugular. A tide of hot blood bursting into his mouth, rolling his eyes back. Oh gods he could barely stand it.

"There you go," She purred, pushing his hair out of his face. "You're doing so good."

His eyes met hers in a craze, a deep growl from his chest. The sensation of finally being fed and her soft words melding into something he had never felt before.

If he had more sense about him he might have laughed. From being forbidden from drinking from thinking creatures to being praised for it. The same person he had broken that chain with showering him with sweet words.

He gripped the body, his whole being focused on the singular task of getting more. More. More.

Some stray blood left his lips, dripping down the neck. Her eyes met it, lips parting.

Before he knew what was happening she leaned forward, licking it up in one small stroke. The tip of her tongue meeting the edge of his lip.

Did she...? Does she drink blood? He had never considered it but now it fired a piston of lust in his pelvis.

He pulled off of the wound, pressing his hand hard against it to keep as much in as he could.

Catching the nape of her neck and pulling her into his mouth roughly.

Pushing the mouthful he held into hers urgently.

He saw her eyes hitch back. Gripping his forearm. Throat working, moaning between swallows into his copper mouth.

Hells Below, he was going to go mad.

He latched back on, still ravenous. His eyes locked on her.

She stared at him with the same intensity. Eyes darting to the smeared blood he left in his wake. Back to his eyes. Her need apparent.

He pulled her by the throat to inches from his clamped down mouth. Pushed her jaw open roughly.

She whimpered hotly, tongue coming out to lave at his mess. Could feel the heat of her, their cheeks nearly touching.

Her tongue kept swiping at the seam of his lips as more blood slipped out. He nearly lost it when she devoted her tongue just to him, moaning sweet little calls against his jaw.

The vigor came back to him with a vengeance. The blood that wasnt fireworking across the base of his skull shooting straight to his pelvis.

The flow to his mouth getting weak he fell on his back, pulling the body over him. Loud choppy pants as he lifted his hips up. All decorum lost, he was vulgar in his need. The angle pushing the blood out. Pouring into his open mouth. Closing his eyes in deep ecstasy.

"Oh, Astarion..." She hushed, coming to kneel behind him. Her thighs caging around his head, looking down at him. Fingers running through his hair. "You've been so patient."

He nodded, looking up at her.

"You must have been so hungry." She reached forward, finger catching a stray drop traveling down his jaw.

"I'm sorry I made you wait this long." Parting her plush lips and licking it in. Seeing the edge of her tongue swirling around her fingertip.

Finally releasing the drained body he sucked his breath through his teeth.

Throwing it off of him he reached up, catching her face in both hands. Pulling her sweet mouth upside down into his. Drowning in her.

She cupped his jaw, kissing him slow. Searing. Pulling his lip into her mouth and biting softly.

He moaned into her, arching his head up for more. The blood sliding hot between their lips.

Gods she was so warm, so soft. It never failed to shock him just how heavenly she felt. Her hair falling curtain around his head. Her scent hitting the back of his throat. Jasmine, coffee, orange blossom. He wanted to be smothered by it.

Not able to stand it any longer he opened the fastenings on his armor, freeing himself from the painful cage of his arousal.

She pulled away slowly, a trail of their saliva between their lips. Looked at his length, his hand pumping along it, with lidded eyes.

Flipping she straddled over him, high on her knees. "Would you like some help?" She rumbled, fingers tracing along the fastenings on her own armor.

He nearly froze, sex was something he still felt... complicated about. And yet, he liked her. Really liked her. Trusted her. Or at least as close to trust as he could muster.

And Gods was he attracted to her, tall, curvy, scary. Very scary. Yet somehow still alluring, big doe eyes and soft plush lips. A mesmerizing contradiction.

He nodded. Gripping the chainmail on her hip.

"If we need to stop, say serpent. Okay?" She smiled, undoing the fastenings. Gods she wasn't even wearing underclothes, her perfect cunt hovering over him. A trail of wetness already pooling between.

"I like the choice of word. How devilish." He purred, watching as she lined herself up to him.

"Glad to see you found your voice again, Star." She smiled. Teasing his head in circles at her entrance. "What would I do without your voice drawling at my back all day?"

He was about to respond but she slammed her hips down. He almost saw stars, head thrown back.

"Mean." He gasped, to her evil giggle.

"Cant always let you get the last word." She smiled, trailing her hand tenderly down his cheek. His breath caught in his throat.

Her hips began to rise and fall. The cold bite of her armor against his hands his only anchor. The molten pressure of her cunt unbelievable. He was already panting.

"Gods you feel so good." She moaned, rolling her hips. Trying to hit the spot below her navel that he could find with his fingers. He arched his hips, saw her eyelids flutter, rubbing against it.

Her pace was slow, arching into him languidly. Pulling nearly entirely out then sliding back down, all the way to the hilt.

He was already writhing under her. Simultaneously needing her to pick up the pace but calling for his undoing if she did.

"While I'd enjoy riding you all night, we don't have much longer till our friends return." She mused. "So,"

Her hips began slamming into his, fast and angry.

He choked out a moan, the very same life that had been returned to him attempting to be pulled from his pelvis. Barely holding on.

He wouldn't come first. Reaching up to rub her clit.

"Gods your stubborn." She admonished, swatting his hand away.

"Let me help you find release, just one more time." She murmured, cradling the back of his head. Leaning down and catching the lobe of his ear in her mouth, nibbling and suckling.

Oh that was cheating. He groaned, hips fucking up into her hard. Nearly lost.

Her pleasure not being the forefront throwing him. Didnt she want to find her end?

"Please come inside me, Astarion." She whispered hot in his ear. Tongue licking a line up the sharp edge. "Please, beautiful."

He shuddered and with a great contraction behind his navel he was gone. Strangled whimpering moans, head thrown back. Gods above and below it felt like she was pulling his soul out.

Hips stuttering into her. Her's still rising and falling, wrenching him for all he was worth. He gripped fruitlessly at the rubble around them. Panting sharp little moans. Trying to find grounding in her chainmail thighs.

"Serpent," He groaned, the overstimulation too much.

Her hips stopped immediately. Pulling off of him and wiping him clean gently. Gingerly redressing his fastenings before hers. Her fingers sure but careful.

He stared down, dumbfounded. He had never had a lover attend to him before.

Felt the need to turn away from her, sitting up. Suddenly too vulnerable. Leaning his head into his hand, the heel pushing into his cheekbone.

"You okay?" She asked, attending to her own needs now. Tone kind and undemanding.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" He quipped, glancing at her. Trying to shake his mask back on.

She laughed, standing. Readjusting her armor with a few jostling pulls. "More than any of us know, I'd wager." She sighed.

"Hey, I dont want you to wait until it gets this bad again. Lots of people need killing and it's my pleasure to help. Truly."

Reaching her hand out easily to help him up.

He looked up at her, framed by the light of the cave in opening. The burning heat halo around her head. Her face serious again but eyes still warm. "You with me?" She asked after a beat.

He clasped his hand around her wrist. "Always."

~

[mixtape-racha]

it's a scream, baby! | hyunlix

chapter eleven: we all go a little mad sometimes

words: 1.50k // warnings: depictions of dead bodies and injuries, mentions of blood, cursing

OFFICIAL GHOSTFACE KILLCOUNT: 006

when (y/n) woke up the next morning, her back felt like it had been twisted into an ungodly position - she knew she shouldn’t have slept on the couch, she should’ve just let changbin wake her up to go to bed.

the living room had beer bottles scattered all over, and takeaway rubbish covering the table. the tv was still on, playing a shitty romcom in the morning sunlight. her head was sore - probably from the angle she slept on the couch - and her mouth was so dry she could have sworn a desert had more water.

a smile washed over her face as she got up and headed to the bathroom - flashbacks from the night before of everyone taking it as a goal to tease jisung for his ‘rule’ outburst. minho and seungmin had teasingly called out a ‘i’ll be right back’ as they headed off to bed for the night (although everyone knew they’d be doing anything other than sleeping). she truly was so happy to be surrounded by her friends right now, although she would never stop wishing chan and jeongin were still here too.

she reflected on everything that had happened lately in woodsboro as she brushed her teeth, humming to let changbin in as he knocked on the door gently.

“have you seen seung? him and min aren’t in their room, and i didn’t know if they’d gone out or not.”

she hummed again, shaking her head as she spat out her toothpaste.

“sorry, bin. i only just woke up. have you tried calling them?” she suggested, noting how his eyebrows furrowed as he nodded.

she finished up her routine in the bathroom before wrapping the buff boy in a gentle hug.

“don’t worry, they’ll be fine. lix was sleeping closest to the back door, right? why don’t we go ask him if he heard anything?”

changbin was exceptionally sensitive - that was something all of their friends knew. especially after recent events, (y/n) would do anything she could to calm his nerves and reassure him. it was a crazy, unknown territory - having to question their every move - but she was sure in her assumption that seungmin and minho were okay. no one except campus staff knew they were at changbin’s parents, so unless they were being followed no one should know where they were. and if they were being followed…. well, that meant the killer had something personal with them. but that was an unwarranted fear, so she shook it off quickly.

she softly took changbin’s hand in her own and headed down the stairs towards the bedroom closest to the back door. god, changbin’s house had so many rooms, it was a wonder no one got lost in it. once they got close to the door, (y/n) called out.

“lixie, you awake and decent? me and bin are coming in– oh.”

she came to a stop outside the door, changbin slamming into her back with no preparation for her sudden halt.

“what’s wrong?” he mumbled, looking past her towards the door and instantly spotting the problem.

the door was slightly ajar, which was weird because felix always closed doors behind him - something his mum raised him to do, or something - and the room seemed silent. too silent. changbin’s pushed open the door gently, finding the room empty. it was only when he pulled his hand away from the handle that he noticed the red trail on the door and splattered on the door.

it couldn’t be…. blood, could it?

but before either changbin or (y/n) had a chance to react properly, they were thrown by a scream coming from across the house. it sounded like… jisung? in the garage? what the fuck was going on?

(y/n) and changbin ended up meeting hyunjin as they all ran acros the house, caught completely off-guard by jisung’s yells. as they approached the garage side-door, jisung came flying out, slamming the door behind him. he took terrified - sweaty and red, eyes blow wide in shock and his breathing was uneasy. after taking a quick mental headcount he nearly cried.

“where’s felix?”

“we can’t find him,” changbin said quickly, gripping jisung’s shoulders in an urge to get him to talk. “what’s going on, why are you yelling?”

it was then that jisung’s self-control broke, his breath coming out in short, raspy gasps as he tried to calm himself.

“bin, i don’t know what to– the police or something, we– minho and seungmin–”

it was with that (y/n) finally pushed past jisung and swung open the door to the garage, although in hindsight she kind of wished she didn’t.

minho and seungmin were dead. that was what jisung was trying to say.

their bodies, brutally attacked and destroyed, were flung across changbin’s garage floor. there was a huge pool of blood that seemed to be drying, showing how long the bodies had been there, and even in death the pair seemed to be able to show their affection for each other - their hands outstretched as if trying to reach one another.

a sob escaped (y/n)’s throat, hyunjin grabbing around her waist as her legs gave way. how many of her friends had to be murdered before the killer had enough? was the entirety of woodsboro going to be slayed before this ended?

the remaining friends took themselves into the living room, needing to take a breather and recuperate before they could figure out what to do next. minho and seungmin dead, felix missing with only a blood trail left behind. who was next?

somehow, they decided that it was better not to call the police straight away - they had no proof felix was dead, too, and they didn’t want to draw suspicions to themselves. 7 friends alone overnight and all of a sudden 2 dead and 1 missing? it doesn��t look good for them at all.

they honestly didn’t know how much time had passed before hyunjin spoke again.

“should we… i dunno, go look for felix? the killer seems to like making a show of the bodies, so lix’s body being missing doesn’t make sense. maybe he escaped and he’s out there hurt?”

changbin hummed before agreeing.

“if he wanted to draw the killer away from the house, he could’ve gone out to the woods. i’ll go one way with jisung if you want to go the other way with (y/n)? does that work for you guys?”

the last question was directed towards jisung and (y/n), who agreed hastily. if there was even a slight chance that felix was out there, hurt and alone, they wanted to take it and try to find him. even if it took splitting up in the mass forest behind changbin’s family home.

hyunjin was extremely careful, walking with (y/n). he kept making sure she felt okay, always keeping her in sight and holding her hand. he would make sure she didn’t trip over branches, or get caught on any low hanging brambles. it was nice, but in all honesty (y/n) was too shaken up to care.

any slight movement had her thinking they’d either found felix, or had come face-to-face with the killer, but hyunjin reassured the girl that he’d do anything to protect her. by the time he’d convinced (y/n) to call it a night; the girl was reluctant to go back without having found felix, it was dark and nightfall was hastily closing in.

when they arrived back, they were met with changbin waiting at the door, jisung worriedly pacing by his side. they were relieved to see the pair approaching, overwhelmed with the worry that something had happened to them in the woods.

dinner was a silent affair that night, quiet bowls of ramen shared over an empty table, but none of them could bring themselves to speak. how had they gone from a loud and bustling group of nine, to an anxiety and silent set of four within a week?

the house remained quiet as they cleaned up behind themselves - hyunjin and (y/n) on dish duty as changbin and jisung cleaned up the living room and shut off most of the house - not needing it used anymore. they were all emotionally and physically exhausted, ready to go to bed, when all the lights shut off.

changbin sighed as jisung let out a yelp, the sudden blackness surrounding them had caught him off guard. the four huddled in the living room with their phone flashlights the brighests they could go, while changbin hurriedly texted his parents to see if they could fix the problem.

but all plans to not let it phase them went south as the door loudly slammed open. the four tiptoes across the home, towards the front door to see what the commotion was, only to be met with a horrifying sight.

on the threshold, stood a tall figure in all black and a ghostface mask on their head, the shine of a kitchen knife glistening in the moonlight.

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[feasibilities]

Hijo de Satanás: Part I ♱

Warnings: Dead Dove/Do Not Eat, Bisexual Dom!Namor, Possessiveness, Power Dynamic, Choking, Praise K!nk, Trauma, Insecurity, etc.

Author's Note: This is my deep dive into Dark!Namor territory. I made him the egotistical bastard he was meant to be. Such is the nature of a God. Enjoy! ♱

Ch'ah Toh Almehen.  K'uk'ulkan. Namor. All 3 of these names have special meanings to him. The first was given to him by his dear mother, Fen. The 2nd was given to him by the close-knit people of Talokan. He created the 3rd after a Spanish priest cursed him before dying. There was one name that lingered in his psyche--Hijo de Satanás. He wasn’t oblivious to the darkness that lived inside him.

Although he was a beloved leader, his ruthlessness when provoked was an open secret. He didn't take kindly to being challenged. The horrors he witnessed were inconceivable. A hardened exterior formed around the winged god. When he buried his mother on the surface world, he took the lives of Spanish conquistadors with him as payback. More recently, he destroyed a military helicopter, killing both passengers. Talokan has been forced to relocate many times due to the advancement of ocean exploration & colonization. He was willing to do anything for his nation.

On a personal level, Namor made it clear that he didn't follow the scrupulous requirements of the surface world. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t try. His sexuality was fluid. Sexual escapades with men & women (or both at once) were commonplace. As disreputable as it was, he got off on being worshipped & being able to pleasure the people of his kingdom. There was little he could do wrong in their eyes. They weren’t judgmental like the people of the surface world.

---

Life as Talokanil nobility was glorious. You worked as a scientific advisor. You conversed with him every day and kept him company as he painted gorgeous murals in his temple. He’d even let you paint with him. He was wise. He was loving. He was available. He became a dear confidant of yours. As time went on, he became more & more protective of you. Your time with other nobles dwindled. His flirtations became more obvious. You felt yourself falling for him but kept it friendly as you wanted to avoid any conflict of interest.

While discussing volcanic activity with a fellow nobleman, you saw Namor sit on his jade-embellished throne in the corner of your eye. His energy was off. You could feel his gaze burning holes in the side of your head. The nobleman took your hand in his, earning a sweet smile from you. You kissed him on the cheek, which made him blush. Namor slammed his spear into the mantle. It sent a shockwave through the surrounding water. Your coquetry was swiftly interrupted. The nobleman quickly gave his regards & swam away. Before you knew it, the enraged god returned to his cave.

As you arrived at his cave, waves of uneasiness washed over you. You wondered why he had free reign over any warm body in Talokan, but you had to play psychotherapist to him. You didn't mind the rapport that existed between you two, but the over-protectiveness was confusing. Your thoughts were interrupted by Namor surfacing from the reef below. You greeted him while he remained silent. Your face got red hot as he changed into dry clothes. His body was amazing. He looked at you with fire in his eyes & broke the silence:

“Ko'oten aca./Come here.” He said in a near-whisper.

You walked to him and looked down to avoid his stare. He gently lifted your chin. You resigned yourself to whatever punishment was coming. You decided to apologize to allay the severity of what was to come.   

“K'uk'ulkan, I am deeply sorry for my actions. It won’t happen again. Sa'asik in, Béet/Please forgive me.” You fretted.

He brushed his thumb against your lips. Testing the waters, you kissed it gently. He didn’t budge. You moved his hand to your throat, feeling him tighten his grip. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip. He then pulled you closer and you thought he would snap your neck.

“Such a tease. K'abéet a disciplina/You need discipline.” Namor sneered.

“Ts'áaten…Teene' je'el in/Give it to me. I can take it.” You cooed.

It took everything in him to not rip your gown off & fuck you to a sobbing mess. He never met anyone who was bold enough to challenge him the way you did. If he was honest with himself, it turned him on. He was going to put you in your place like he did so many others, but it wasn’t time yet. He needed to catch you when you least expected it. Such is the nature of a god.

“You are dismissed. Return to your room.” He said, a frigid attitude taking over him. He let go of you and turned away. You were deeply embarrassed. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes. You scurried away to your quarters.

---

Later that night, you couldn’t sleep for obvious reasons. You decided to walk aimlessly around the cave to tire yourself out. Strange noises from Namor’s room broke you out your trance. As dangerous as it was, you decided to investigate. You heard the moans of 3 people as you moved closer. You peeked through the portiere and your eyes widened. A Talokanil commoner was writhing in pleasure as Namor thrusted into her at a vigorous pace. Another commoner kissed his shoulder while Namor pumped his  manhood furiously. Namor didn’t even look winded. You heard the male commoner sing Namor’s praises.

“Yes, K'uk'ulkan. Only you can satisfy me like this.” He cooed. Namor then leaned over and kissed him roughly. Your jaw dropped. You could’ve screamed out of amazement, but you didn’t risk it. Gossip of nightly rendezvous at the palace was swirling around, but now you had confirmation. You can’t deny that you dreamt of being in the positions of those commoners. From the looks of it, it was better than you imagined.

To be continued…

[allemantheias]

Repaying them for saving you. Part 2.

Status: finished. 03-12-2023. Part 1. [Part 2.] Part 3. Part 4.

Read this on AO3. ~ ~ Masterlist. ~ ~ Word count: 893.

"Did they hurt you in other ways?" The bearded man, Alejandro, who sat you down in the medic's office, puts a wet gauze against your wound, making it sting badly from the alcohol it's soaked with. You pull away your face, resulting in the man keeping your head still with his other hand on your neck. The skin-to-skin contact sends electricity through your cheeks. His touch feels so nice and soft, make you crave much more.

"No, only this cut. I don't know what they would have done if they didn't run into the roadblock. I wouldn't have made it out alive."

"Probably not, indeed. It's a good thing we took them out." Him talking about the cartel members being dead makes you feel uncomfortable. You've never been confronted with death like this before, or been this close to recently killed people who got shot while you were only mere centimetres away. The bad guys died, that's good, but you didn't want to be part of them being taken out. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Killing is.. well.. part of the job, unfortunately."

"It's okay. I'm glad you got out alive." You hate yourself for blurting the words out like that, wish the ground underneath your feet would swallow you from embarrassment. Your cheeks must be fire red! "I mean-" Alejandro smiles while he removes the wet gauze from your cut and replaces it with a dry one that he sticks to your skin with silicone tape.

"Do you know if they targeted you?" He throws away the opened packaging and puts the rest of the stuff back where he took it from.

"I don't think so, I was just on my way home from hanging out with friends. Probably just an easy target for them because I was alone this late in the evening."

"I'll look into it after you're home safe and sound tomorrow." He already knows where you live, they asked you some questions on the drive here. Your name, age, where you live, and the rest was small talk to keep you from thinking back to the events at the roadblock. Your house is too far to take you home this late, so they got you a bed on base. You both look up from a knock on the door and the other guy peeks his head around the corner.

"Found some clothes that hopefully fit." He puts a pile of clothes next to you on the examination bed. "Anything else I can do? Some food maybe?"

"That would be amazing, I'm starving."

The guy smiles. "There's leftover burritos, if you like?"

"Oh, absolutely!"

"Let's get you cleaned up first." Alejandro turns on the faucet with hot water and puts the plug in the sink so it fills up. "You can take a shower after you've eaten." He holds his hand under the stream, waits for it to get to a good temperature. When the sink is filled up to the holes that prevent it from spilling over, he dunks in a cloth and wrings out most of the excess water. With the steaming fabric, he sits back down next to the bed. You remove your blood-stained shirt, which makes him swallow noticeably. He quickly regains his composure and softly rubs the very hot, wet cloth on the skin of your throat, below the gauze, cleaning off the dried-up blood. The cloth burns your skin slightly, but the heat of it feels great. You sigh from pleasure. "Sorry, is that too hot?" He pulls his hand back in case he is hurting you with the temperature of it.

"No, it's fine. It's hot, but not too bad. I like it like this." You smile at him to show him it really is okay and he presses the small towel on your collarbone again. Soon the cloth is drenched with your blood and Alejandro soaks it in the hot water again to rinse it from the red liquid. This process is repeated until there's no more blood visible on you. "Thank you." While you get dressed into the clean clothes, you feel Alejandro's eyes burning in your back.

"It's no problem, pretty. Get your wound checked out by the medic tomorrow morning. After that I'll take you home." He leads you to the mess hall, where the other guy is ready with a heap of burritos.

"Great timing, Rudy." The other guy smiles and distributes the food over three plates. So his name is Rudy. That suits him.

"Always." He takes the plates to the closest table and you take a seat after they do. You're not sure if you should sit next to them, so you leave one chair in between Rudy and yourself, opposite of Alejandro. "Food's hot. Don't burn your mouth." Steam is rising from the burrito and you blow on it to cool it down a bit quicker.

You don't have the patience to wait for it to cool down to an edible temperature and take a bite. It's still too hot and you regret not waiting a few more minutes. "Fuck, it's hot!" You breathe out with a full mouth in discomfort. Rudy and Alejandro laugh at the sight of you not listening to the warning. You're lucky that it wasn't hot enough anymore to burn the inside of your mouth.

[breekento]

Prisoner higuruma fic was so wonderful, you’re so talented 🥹🦋 thank u for making my day

I recently saw those long distance couple bracelets that send a buzz signal to your partner’s bracelet whenever you tap on your own

if you have time or inspiration, could u do nanami and reader being exes but still have feelings for each other; reader still wears the bracelet and taps on it thinking nanami would never receive the buzz🥹 (but he doesss)

(and they get back together uwuwuw) 💞

Years of devotion to Nanami had ended in just a few short months. There’s only so many times you could withstand opening your front door to a blood Nanami, stumbling forward with his hand clutched around an open wound. His reassuring words of, “I’ll be home in a little while, dear,” that fell flat every time it took him a little while longer than usual to come home.

“I can’t do this,” your lip quivers, fingers gripping the wooden door as Nanami’s face drops. His fingertips are stained red, eyes tired and sluggish, bleeding out on your doorway yet again.

“I’m sorry, dear, it won’t happen again. It was a rough mission,” he steps forward, shaking his head in disbelief.

You raise a hand into the air, shaking your head, “No. I can’t keep wondering if you’re going to come home alive.”

That was the last conversation you held with him. Every inch of you collapsed from within, watching as he slugged away from your front door. Maybe it was a mistake, you thought, curling up under your sheets. You thought it would be easier to not know if he were dead or alive but you were being eaten alive at the idea that maybe he wasn’t here anymore.

You wrap your hand around your wrist. Years ago, Nanami gifted you a bracelet. With one tap, it would send a small vibration to his bracelet. You never took it off. It felt as if a piece of his soul was forever connected to yours. Surely his bracelet is sitting on his nightstand, covered in dust and unworn. Your finger shakily hovers over the button. You screw your eyes shut, pressing the pad against it. You held your breath, watching in agony. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.

Your bracelet glows a soft red, pulsing gently on your wrist. You shoot out of bed, fingers numb and mouth dry as you rip the bracelet off of your wrist. Was it a malfunction? Did I miss something?

You throw the bracelet across the room, suddenly queasy. Your phone vibrates on your end table, the photo of the two of you from Christmas one year ago illuminated your screen. You press the answered call against your ear.

“I’m okay, dear.”

You swallow, “Good. I was just… checking.”

“Will you let me inside if I knock? I need to see you.”

[dmwrites]

If you’ve been keeping up with Joel SmallishBeans’ Minecraft hardcore series, you’d know that he recently did a world tour with Lizzie. I was inspired by it. Enjoy:)

——

It was a warm and sunny afternoon, and yes, perhaps it was a little irresponsible of Joel to nestle himself into one of the cozier nooks within the tangled root system at the bottom of the huge cherry tree, but the heat of the day was making him drowsy. Joel laid out a picnic blanket he’d bought off a villager and flopped down on top of it. Here, in the sweet-smelling shade, a breeze ruffling the hair on his head ever so slightly, Joel felt his eyes begin to flutter closed. There was lots to do, always was in this sprawling hardcore world he built in by himself, but it could wait just a little while. Joel nodded off, falling into a gentle sleep.

He knew he was dreaming the moment he opened his eyes again. The wooden ceiling was a dead giveaway, yes, but there was also the case of the pink-haired woman sitting in the chair next to his bed.

“Oh, finally! I thought you’d never wake up!” The woman said. “So, are you gonna show me around or what?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Joel asked, sitting up in bed and staring at her. She was quite pretty.

“The tour. I’m here for the tour… of your world? Don’t tell me you forgot already, Joel, you silly man.” She smiled at him, hitting him on the arm. It felt like nothing at all.

“I- right, okay, sure, yeah.” Joel stood up, and just then noticed that his inventory was empty. He had no armor on his body or weapons at his side. All he had to do was think about it, and his head was bumping against the ceiling. “Definitely a dream.” He murmured.

“What was that?” The pretty girl had left the room, and poked her head back in.

“Nothing. I’m coming.” Joel replied, and put his feet back on the ground, and walked into the living room. “So, uh, this is my starter house. What did you say your name was again, sorry?”

“Lizzie, that’s my name.” The pretty girl said, looking all around. “Nice starter house.”

“That’s a pretty name.” Joel replied, being both earnest and flirty. Lizzie just looked at him expectantly. “Uh, so, my starter house- first thing I built. I don’t stay here all too much, since I’m alone in this world.” Joel said hesitantly, glancing over at the girl. He wondered if dreams turned sour if the residents of them learned of their reality.

“I could live with you.” Lizzie said, smiling and taking his hand.

“I would like that.” Joel replied softly, interlacing his fingers between hers. Her hand against his felt like warm sunlight against his skin.

They walked out of the starter house and down the paths. Joel began showing off his farms to Lizzie, making sure to boast accordingly. She responded enthusiastically with sarcasm and dry wit. They still held hands. It was odd, knowing that this was all a dream. Joel felt so floaty, almost uneasy without his items on him, but he could still feel the gentle pressure of this mysterious Lizzie’s hand in his. He tried to ignore it all, for the sake of having a nice time.

“And here is my amethyst farm.” Joel said, taking her down some stairs and into a room full of growing crystals.

“Woah…” Lizzie’s eyes widened, like a cat’s. “Very nice. And kind of familiar, huh?” She elbowed him good-naturedly.

“Familiar?” Joel asked, and his brain felt fuzzy all of a sudden. Flashes of gold and masks and soft fur pulsated through his mind, but the memories, if that’s what they were, were nothing more then distant feelings. “I- uh.. I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” Lizzie said, taking his hand more firmly in her own, and leading him back outside. Joel’s mine began to clear, a small headache taking its place. They stood still for a moment, Joel just kind of blinking a lot, and Lizzie just watching him. The sun looked really pretty in her hair. She was throwing chicken eggs everywhere.

“So, my villager… villages. This way.” Joel eventually said, clearing his throat. “I trade with these guys and they love me so much. I’m like the best thing that’s ever happened to them, really.” He lead her to his walled-in villages, and they walked around the houses.

“Do you guys really like it here? How much do you get paid? Have you considered seizing the means of production?” Lizzie asked every villager they passed.

“Lizzie!” Joel smacked her lightly on the arm. “Stop trying to make my villagers revolt!”

The villagers said nothing, as they didn’t speak the language, and they hardly looked interested in the two people walking among them.

Lizzie got a hold of some more chicken eggs at some point, and rained them down on the earth, while insisting it wasn’t her doing when chicks started appearing all around them. Joel showed her some other structures he’d built recently. He was saving the best for last, of course.

“And, my pride and joy… the gigantic cherry blossom tree.” Joel spread his arms wide, presenting it like you couldn’t see it from every other area.

Lizzie gasped, and began to float off the ground, running on air to get a closer look. Joel copied her, gravity not even a fleeting thought as he saw her smile. The sun was beginning to set, and Lizzie became a body of shadows, then thrown into brilliant, golden light as she looked all around at the tree. Joel looked at the tree too, yes, but really he was looking at her, looking at the tree. His heart felt like it was missing something and it was right in front of him. She caught him looking at her and smiled, floating over and taking both of his hands in her own. They floated to the ground together, hands clasped in each other’s, like they were about to exchange vows.

“Who are you?” Joel asked, his mind starting to become fuzzy again. “I know you. I love you.”

“Yes, you do. And I do too, Joel. But don’t worry.” Cherry blossom petals fell around her, pink like her hair, and she was smiling at him. “I am always with you.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Joel woke up and stared up at the pink canopy above him. The sun was beginning to set now, in the real world, and the golden light lit up the tree in an almost heavenly light. He didn’t feel light and dreamy anymore, and he was all to aware of being alone again. He pressed his fingers to his cheek- it tingled still. He closed his eyes and felt a tear roll down his face, in sorrow or joy he wasn’t quite sure.