#sorry for any grammar mistakes I am an idiot who is very sleepy

[locustandwildhoney]

Imagine John Seed being the Pied Piper of kids.

John's got all the pomp and circumstance to lead these kids anywhere. They hang on his every word. A tiny crowd forms and skips after him, the kind of suspense that John naturally creates has a grip over everyone. Especially children. After all, he's so friendly, he knows exactly what to say, and he says it with such a conviction and bravado that kids would think 'of course it must be true.' He has a lot of fun until they start to wisen up as they get older.

John however, is terrible with babies. He is a huge baby himself, why should the baby get all the attention?

He does try though, he really does. But how can he help this thing if it won't stop wailing and tell him whats wrong? John would never put the tyke in danger, he'd never yell at it, or cause it any harm, no matter how loudly or how long it's been screeching. But he can't say he hasn't put it back in its crib and walked away for 5 minutes to regain his sanity. Or handed it off to someone else at the first sign of trouble. They just make him nervous for some reason. They're so small and fragile and new. He's so full of nerves and unease that he swears babies can sense it and start crying the moment he enters the room.

The only time he relaxes is when it starts nodding off and he can hold them, he can engage with them safe in the knowledge that sleep means no spewing, wailing, or fussing and for the love of god don't tell him anything to the contrary. It's the only time he feels he can't do anything wrong to upset them.

There is a moment however, when fear turns to joy as the teeny one starts to walk. With all his brisk exits, the baby finally has the means to follow him. And follow they do. Squishy baby feet find their way to fall in line behind The Pied Piper himself.