#sorry alter who wanted to buy a striped shirt...
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nightfallsystem-moved · 1 year ago
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I'm so hyped up about this new shirt guys its XXL and it's black and button up shirt and it's comfy and the texture isn't bad and I love it it looks kinda masc I am so evil I literally walked around before deviously laughing when I wore it
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pinkispoggers · 4 years ago
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New Girl || Lance Bishop x Fem!Reader
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A/N: PLEASE READ!! ok, there's a few things I need to say before you get to reading. I have an alter named Bishop. He's my co-writer. I have DID. Please, if you don't know what that is, look it up to understand why some of the writing style is different than others. Second. I'm so sorry this took so long to write but that's because I was studying the Aliens script to write this, and had to watch the movie 2 times. 3rd the grammar sucks again and this is like a remake of the movie with a similar plot. I'm so tired but please don't comment about the writing style changing, that's probably Bishop's writing. Anyways please enjoy!
(Oh, and this is like the dumbest plot ever)
Tw: mentions of vomit, profanity, and the word "kill" and small violence, (and some death (gore)) Guns and of course Mr milk guts…
Words: 9.1k
You slowly wake up, yawning before you could notice anything in the room, but when you do, you see him, standing in the doorway, legs crossed and arms crossed, looking down at what you saw to be a plate with (a food you really like) on it. You smile widely. "You didn't have to!" You blush. "I kept my word" He smiled and looked down. You grab the fork as you sit up and dig in.
A few moments later
You finish your meal and he hops in bed with you. You gasp and smile as you hug him tightly, never wanting to let go but you had to if you wanted to kiss him. You smile and smash your lips on his and he kisses you back. You take a breather and he looks at you with care in his eyes. "I love you, Bishop, I just want you to know that." You whisper and he nods "me too Y/n" he smiles and kisses your forehead, putting his forehead on yours.
"I also watered the plant you have." He smiles and you mimic the gesture. "Aw, thank you Bishop" you say. "Do you want to go for a walk?" He asks and you nod. "After I get dressed, I would love to." You blush. You get up from your bed, fully nude. You go to get clothes but within seconds his arms are wrapped around you and his head is buried in your neck once more. But this didn't last long as you had to get dressed. You slip your shirt and pants on. You grabbed your wallet and headed out with him, hand in hand. "Wanna go to the mall?" You ask and he nods.
You hold his hand while you walk from your apartment, to the local park, skipping happily almost all the way there. You reach the flower field and you and him sit down on some soft grass, secluded from everyone else. No one was even at the park, just you and your synthetic boyfriend. You and him lie down on the grass and he does the same. You lie there, not saying a word for a few moments but he breaks the peaceful silence. "It's a beautiful day Y/n, isn't it?" He says and smiles. "It sure is!" You smile wider. He points out some cute shaped clouds and you laugh and point out another.
Without warning, you roll on top of him and he gasps. He looks up at you and smirks. No one is around so you can do whatever you want, but you choose not to. As you lay on his stomach, he flips you over to be on top of you. He kisses you deeply. "I love you Y/n'' he breaths and you smile on his mouth "Same here" you whisper as you continue to kiss him. This only lasts for a few moments as you remember what you said about 30 minutes ago. "We should probably start heading to the mall now." You say and he pushes himself off of you.
He stands up from the soft grass, pointing out one more pretty cloud. You stand and start running and laughing, knowing he is going to follow. He jogs after you, getting closer. You try your best to get away but as soon as you could process things, he scoops you up and swings you around once. You laugh and kiss him once more as he let's you down. You jog with him about 2 blocks to the mall.
You run in through the automatic doors but you pause when you see everything in there, you stop in your tracks. He catches up to you and hugs you from behind. You shake, not expecting that. "Oh, I'm sorry." He says and you grin "it's alright!" You say as you rush into a men's clothing store, and he follows you in. "Ooo oh! Bishop look!" You call to him and point to a black and gray striped shirt. "It looks… really nice!" He says and you smile and kiss him "wanna buy it?" You ask "Sure! You brought your wallet?" He asks and you nod. You also grab a few pairs of sweatpants and formal clothing. You head to the register and he goes to the other side of the shop and crosses his arms, waiting for you to finish paying.
As you finish paying and grabbing your bags, he grabs one from you, and you know he's trying to help and you smile. "May i?" He asks "Yes you may." You blush and you head out to other stores.
3 hours later
You call a Taxi and head home with what seemed to be a million bags. You were surprised that you could carry that much with his help of course. You arrive home at dawn, but there are 2 big black cars outside your apartment. "Y/n, I'm being pinged." He says slowly. You're so confused "pinged?" You ask and you don't even notice the large pair of hands grabbing you, and another set, Bishop. He doesn't say anything, but you are screaming for him. You get out of the pathetic grip of the person behind you, only to go up and hug Bishop, knowing what you have to do. The person doesn't try to grab you back so this is the perfect opportunity. You reach up and snatch the chip out roughly and put it in your pant pocket. No one noticed.
After you do that the hands pull you back and you don't say a word, knowing that you have him in your pocket, instead, you smile. The person escorts you up to your apartment, but while you were walking, you thought, how did they know he was here? The car he came in? Maybe, you had no clue. When you get inside you smile at the now known man that led you in and he just walks away "bitch" you mutter. You get in and immediately get a phone call. You rush to get your phone. It says WEYLAND-YUTANI CORPS. You honestly don't want to answer but you do.
It's a nice woman, asking how your day has been and how it goes now. "Listen Y/n, to cut to the chase, we need you on another mission. Hadley's Hope isn't responding. Again." She said and you sigh, barely wanting to do it, but you knew you would have the same crew, Bishop, Hicks, Apone, Hudson and more so you of course said yes and hung up without saying goodbye.
It's getting late so you head off to bed, only dreaming of Bishop, and wishing he was there, in bed with you.
2 days later and it's time to head into Cryosleep. You lie, not caring who was with you, but only caring about the journey ahead.
3 weeks later, sleeping peacefully with no interruption.
You rise from your chamber, slow and easy. You overhear a tiny conversation between Drake and an unnamed female, just before you feel the need to vomit all over the place, and you almost do, but you control yourself. You sit up and drag your heavy legs over the bedside and you see someone you know and love… or well, the same model you guessed. Bishop. You blush, but before you know it, that smile on your face turns into a frown.
You know it's him, and you know it's his same model, because he is the only synthetic of his line, named Bishop, which you could see on a screen in the far corner of the room. Your face flowers into a smile once more as you flood over with happiness. You were also happy because you were part of the team. You stand, in your underwear and a tank top and you hear Hudson and Apone fighting? If you could call it that.
You notice an unfamiliar woman staring at Bishop with a glint in her eyes. Something like… love? You get a rush of anger deep in your heart but you pay it no mind as you slip by them and rush over to your locker, just remembering what was inside. The chip. You grab that and your flight suit and move to the cafeteria.
You sit next to someone new today, a curly headed woman with light skin and beautiful eyes. You try to spark up a conversation but she doesn't answer. "Ok then" you snort. You look over to a sudden loud noise that is Hudson screaming. Bishop is playing the knife game with him of course. Why would he be screaming? It ends soon with a "Thank you" from the artificial person himself. He goes to sit down right next to the women you were trying to talk to, which was right across from you. You noticed the same woman from the locker room staring at Bishop. Her face was angry, probably because she didn't get to sit next to him, you thought. But again, you pay it no mind and try to ignore it.
"I thought you never missed, Bishop." Burke said with a scoff in his voice. The woman next to him was startled for a second, but her facial expression turned into a mix between shock and anger. "You never said an android was on board. Why not?" She said. "It never occurred to me." Burke replied. "It's common practice to have synthetic on board." He said calmly but Bishop's face turned into a slight frown, but then a smile as he said "I prefer the term "artificial person" myself." You were going to say something to Burke, to remind him that before Bishop said anything. "Right." Burke said with a nasty smile. "Is there a problem?" Bishop worried "I'm sorry." Burke breathed. "I didn't even... Ripley's last trip, the syn... The artificial person...malfunctioned." Burke said with a tone of worry in his voice.
"- Malfunctioned?" Ripley said, a bit surprised. "Ripley," you whispered and no one heard. Such a nice name, you thought. "There were problems and… a few deaths were involved." Burke lamented. Bishop opened his lips slightly, to come off as "I'm shocked." He turned to look at Ripley, then back at Burke. "Was it an older model?" Bishop asked. "Yeah. The Hyperdyne Systems 120-A-2." Burke answered and Bishop closed his lips and within seconds, "The A-2s always were a bit twitchy. That could never happen now with our behavioural inhibitors. It is impossible for me to harm, or allow to be harmed, a human being." He goes on, turning to Ripley, tray in hand "You sure you don't want some?" He asked.
As soon as he offered, she slapped the tray out of his hand and everyone in the room turned to look. You were surprised she had snapped. Maybe she wasn't so friendly after all. "Just stay away from me, Bishop. You got that straight?" She said angrily and he got up to go sit by the woman that was looking at him before and you sighed deeply, a spark of jealousy perking up in you. You turned your head to see her sparking up a conversation. You want to move but you don't want anybody to get suspicious of your intentions with him so you sit quietly, not eating any of the cornbread he had offered you earlier.
After Breakfast
You rush over to a few boxes where you wait for everyone to pile in. Ripley is standing in front of them with another Marine and Apone. Ripley is talking about our mission, going back to Hadley's Hope because they weren't responding… again but you barely listen. Only looking at that Bitch and Bishop together in the back, laughing together. You were furious now. But then you remembered that you had the chip. He would only love you, and nor her. He's loyal, right?. As Ripley finishes talking, you are still staring at him and the woman, until she and Apone motions everybody to move out.
You move to the back rooms, where you thought you were gonna be alone but as soon as you open the door, you honestly weren't surprised. It was Bishop and the girl. You are furious. They were sitting there, laughing at each other's jokes and things like that. "Excuse me?" You say and they notice you are there, her, holding in a laugh. Bishop got up and walked over to you. "Hello, I don't think we've met! I'm Bishop" He says softly. "I know" you say angrily. "Did I do something wrong?" He asks and you smile and stare dead at her. "No honey" you say, suddenly changing your tone, but still staring at her.
"Um…" She whispered "What the fuck" she said as her face contorted into a angry frown, but before she could say anything else, Apone barged in. "What is going on in here?!" He asks but before you or the girl could say anything, Bishop speaks. "Oh, I'm just introducing myself to Y/n and hanging around with Diana." Diana. Her name was Diana. Before you could even think of anything else, you thought of saying "Diana, more like Die-Ana" and you burst out with laughter. "What is so funny Y/n?" Apone asks, very seriously and you simply reply with "Oh nothing" and you slip past him, happy you made that bitch mad.
You overhear Apone telling Diana to get back to work and stop fucking around with the artificial person and you snicker under your breath. "Fuck" you mumbled, knowing that you still had the chip, but wondering what you were going to do when the time came to put it in. You see Ripley and you walk up to her slowly. "Hi!" You accidentally raise your voice and she shouts, turning around and shaking a bit. "Oh, I'm sorry if I scared you, I'm Y/n, you need anything?" You ask and she smiles gently "I'm sorry about what happened a little bit before this, I guess I just wasn't in the mood, I'm Ripley, and I don't need anything but thank you. And tell Bishop I'm sorry." She went on and you smiled.
"Yeah I can do that!" You say and she smiles widely.
30 mins later
Everything is in place and Apone is raising his voice for everybody to head into the M577 Armored Personnel Carrier, and you complied. You see Bishop heading in first and you, last. You strap into your seat next to Hicks and right across from Diana. You give her a mean stare and she catches your eyes. You try to start a convo with Hicks but he's asleep. "Well." You whisper, and the carrier heads off with a "Rodger!" From Bishop and you head out. The carrier pulls into a drop ship and they dive down into space, heading for LV-426, Hadley's Hope.
You set down on the planet and you feel sick from all the turbulence but you hold back your vomit. Apone rushes everyone to hop out and head in and you do as he said. Diana is a marine and you are a science officer, so is Bishop. You hide back with Bishop for a moment and Diana just stares at you "Well Marine, do as Apone says." You laugh and she growls at you like a fucking animal and you cringe as you look at Bishop with a smile and he smiles back, not processing what just happened. His mind is on something else, you thought.
You head in, walking and talking with him, having a pretty good conversation about life in general and how his goal in his "life" was to learn and grow more! It was very intriguing. "Oh! You remember Ripley right?" You ask "Well how could I not? I mentally cannot forget unless my memories are deleted." He said and you laugh "I know that silly. Well anyway, she said she was sorry for flipping out on you." You exclaim and his face lights up with a smile.
"Ah, thank you for telling me!" He says with a smile that could light up any room and it makes you blush. "I have a surprise for when we get inside, it has to be somewhere private." You whisper and his face lights up. "So… sex?" He whispers back. "When did you get such a dirty mind?!" You laugh. "So not what I'm thinking." He asks so politely "nope, definitely not" you smile. You head in, holding his hand all the way in, but you feel as if something or someone is watching you. When you make it to where the marines are and they are trying to catch something? A little… girl? You had no clue but they were very scared and you offered to help but it seemed like no one heard you.
You and Bishop head back and wait outside for the marines to come back. You start up a conversation with him and as soon as you know it, you are having a laugh with him, a light hearted talk with him, and you could tell it made him so happy that someone was treating him like he was a "human". You made him feel welcome, that was all he ever wanted. "So, Bishop, what was your early life like?" You ask and he smiles.
"Well I'm glad you asked! When I was… say, "born", all I remember was standing on a shute, and a beautiful woman on a keypad in front of me was murmuring something in another language. I said "Hello" but she wouldn't answer me back." He said with a frown. This seemed to be a slightly hard story for him to tell but you were intrigued. He sensed that and kept telling you the story. "Well, when she did answer, and after I asked some questions, mainly about the shute I was standing on, she got… worried? At Least that's what my database was telling me. She thought I was too curious? I don't know, but she told me about how the shute led to something that would disassemble malfunctioning Artificial persons like me." He went on and you felt sorry. He could have gone to that "room".
"Then she told me to walk into a room that had others like me, my same model. An artificial person named Rook greeted me. He told me the others were named Castle, King, and Knight." He said and you cut him off "someone likes chess!" You laugh and he mimics your gesture. "That's what I said!" He said and you laughed harder. "I was in my skin only. They gave me clothing and I pulled it on. They all pinged me to sit down on a long white couch, but I didn't. The room was all white too. They were like... brothers?" He exclaimed
"and why didn't you sit down?" You ask and he smiles "simply because I didn't want to." "But…" you stop and he takes that as a green light to speak "I'm just… different, maybe broken." He said and you frowned and hugged him. "You aren't broken, but you are very different, and that's what we love about you." "Thank you Y/n" he says as you hear faint screaming from inside the building.
"What was that?" You ask and he shrugs "I think it's better to wait here." He says. "People could be dyi-" you try to get out but before you could make out the rest of the words, the carrier came rolling out from inside the building and you screamed and Bishop grabbed you, careful not to hurt you, and quickly pulled you to the side so you wouldn't get hit. "Are you ok?!" He asks and you nod.
"We need to call a fuckin dropship, NOW!!" Hicks yells and you get a wave of anxiety. Ripley comes rushing out of the Carrier and you run up to her, leaving Bishop behind. "Ripley what is going on?!" You shout. "Those fucking aliens. We need a dropship!" She shouts back and you panic. Aliens? What the fuck was she talking about. You knew now that you should've listened to the speech she gave instead of worrying about Bishop.
You hear Burke and Hudson squabbling about something dumb, but you don't pay it any mind. You turn around and your eyes widen. Diana is in the middle of hugging Bishop, and looking right at you. Fuck you, you wanted to say but that would be unprofessional so you just stuck your middle finger towards her and she laughed. Oh, you were gonna get this bitch later.
About an hour later
You could see the dropship coming in close but something was wrong. It was a bit wobbly? It was coming in hot, and definitely not normal. You start running, and so does everyone else. Everything is coming down off of the ship and you cry out for everyone to move. You get out of the way, grabbing Bishop from Diana and rolling behind a rock with him, hugging him to protect him, and you. "Y/n, I'm ok!" He gasps out "Ok good!" You smile widely. "What the fuck are we gonna do now?" Somebody called. "Why don't we start a fire, and sing some songs!" Burke said annoyingly. "Shut the fuck up Burke" you call and his face turns to a frown and he shuts up.
It's been twenty minutes since everything had happened and Ripley motions you into a big base, with the little girl in hand, but before you could follow her in, "where were you Diana?" Hicks raises his voice at her. "We were all looking for you." He snaps. You had had a gut feeling that she was watching you and Bishop, but you didn't know if that was true, but you were going to assume it was. "She was watching me and Bishop." You blurt out and she rips her gaze away from Hicks and over to you. She gives you a glare and then looks back over to Hicks. "I swear I wasn-" she tried to say but he cut her off "I don't want to hear it. Let's go everyone!"
Diana rips Bishop's hand from yours and… kisses him, hard where no one but you sees. You could tell he was surprised, and had no say in this. You felt bad for him, but at the same time, you were fucking furious with her. It wasn't a competition for his love, but if he wanted to compete, you would gladly compete, and you knew you would win. You had the chip, and she didn't. You run in, looking back and winking at Bishop and he just smiles.
Bishop walks with Diana, and you behind into the building, having a chat. He parts ways with her to go into a room with the rest, but you head to what looks like the lab you guys were in last time you were here. You overhear Bishop talking, saying that he was heading to the mad lab. You make it there first and are already standing over the face hugger that Bishop was in the middle of dissecting, and right next to it, where you had the second best sex of your life. "Y/n?" A voice whispers. "Bishop!" You say and he smiles and comes over to hug you. This is the time! Now! You think and you reach to hug him.
Your hands slowly reach up to his neck and right before he can do anything, the chip is out. He's pretty much lifeless, not moving, but blinking. It was unsettling, but you had to do it, to get him back. You grab the chip from your pocket and slide it in the slot and he begins to power up. His eyes shut hard, and then open like the first time. His eyes, flawlessly human-like. When he opens his eyes, "Y/n!" He says as he goes in for a kiss and you let him. He backs off to speak "where are we?!" He asks and you smile and fill him in.
After you do, he stares blankly at something behind you. "Bishop?" You ask and he motions his eyes towards you. He slowly closes you into a corner and you get a wave of anxiety. "Bishop!?" You call out as his hands gently push you against the wall. You were already so touch starved so you didn't mind, but at the same time, you were scared, not knowing his intentions. "Now where were we?" He asked and chuckled. "Oh, so you want to have sex I'm guessing?" You whispered "Yes. Are you ok with this?" He asks "of course, but please ask before you make a move." You laugh.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have asked, I didn't mean to scare you!" He says with a sorry tone. "No, no, it's alright!" You laugh it off. "Ah ok!" He says with a smile. He pulls his arm from your chest and starts to pull his flight suit down. Once he gets it all down, yours is next. He unzips it and pulls it down with smooth, efficient movements with a little help from you of course. He grabs your legs and hoists them up to behind his head, now he's right in front of your heat. You are a little anxious even though you know he's seen you. You are also anxious because of the watching eyes you felt when you were outside with him and you weren't exactly comfortable with people watching you.
He pulls you closer to him as he leaves kisses along your thighs as he gets closer to you. When he reaches your sex, he leaves one gentle kiss on the top of your cunt. His tongue suddenly delved into you and he started pacing around your clit, making you shake. You reach for his hair while convulsing slightly, grabbing it and forcing his head towards you. His tongue speeds up against your clit, and you try your best not to shake anymore then you are already shaking.
"B- Ahh!!" You cry out. He takes this as a sign to go to the perfect pace, a pace that sent you to heaven. "Im-" you cry "please" He says, smiling on you. You burst out with moans of ecstasy. His tongue slows down, as he notices that's what you need. As you are coming down from your high, he's still working on you, but now, teasing you with two fingers right above your entrance. You noticed what he was doing as soon as you could see straight. "Please" you whine and with sudden moments, his fingers are in you, slowly pumping in and out, curling as they do.
"Mfh!" You cry out and he speeds up, but then stops suddenly. "Bishop?" You ask and he turns his head suddenly. "I heard something," He says. "Please continue" you say softly and he lowers you to hip level. "Shit Bishop" you moan as you look at his perfect shaft. He lines himself up with you, smearing pre cum all over you to lube you before he thrusts into you. As he's holding you with strong arms, your arms go over his head and he snaps his hips into you at an alarmingly fast speed. "AH!" You scream out.
"I love you Y/n" he says softly and the butterflies that were in your stomach were fluttering around fast. "I love you too!" You smile. He starts off with an achingly slow pace and you arch your back as best as you can. He uses the power of his upper body to lift you up and down on his cock, while still trusting at a normal pace now. He takes one arm off of your hips to finger your clit. "Ohhhh" you moan. You are a moaning mess under him, but you still hold onto yourself as best as you can.
He's leaving kisses wherever he can, mostly sucking on your neck to leave Hickeys, noticeable ones. "Faster!" You shout and he complies. He's thrusting into you at animalistic speeds and you are literally living your sexual dreams. "OoOH!" You moan and he smiles "you like this don't you" he asks and you nod while shaking in front of him. He licks a trail of artificial saliva up your neck and gently bites your ear and you scream out, gripping him, hard.
"Mmh" He grunts. "You feel amazing" He says as his head rolls back. You blush. "L- Let's change positions!" You call out and he slides you off of his shaft, gently. You point to a small mattress that definitely wouldn't fit both of you but you had an idea. He carried you bridal style over to the bed and to your surprise, flipped you so that you were facing the wall, stomach on the bed. "Like this?" He asked "exactly" you smile and he lines himself up and pushes in.
He continues his thrusts, very fast, but it stops suddenly. "Bishop?! What's wrong?" You ask, a little mad, but it's hard to be mad at him. He's not usually like this unless he thinks someone is in danger, or if he hears something. Then you hear it, small footsteps. "Shit," you mutter and he pulls out of you, concerningly slow and just stands there, awkwardly. You get up fast and try to cover yourself with a nearby blanket, quickly wrapping it around yourself as a figure steps in the room. "You BITCH" The figure says as she makes herself clear. Diana. Of course it has to be fucking Diana. Your face switches from panic to a shit eating grin. Not even giving a shit that she just caught you having sex with him, but that you won him over completely, like it was a game.
"Awwww are you mad Diana?" You ask and she just looks at you like she's ready to kill you, but with tears brimming her lashes. You started to walk towards her but Bishop grabbed your arm "Please Y/n, don't." He says, not exactly knowing what you were going to do. "Please" He says with a reassuring voice and you decide to stay back. Tears were falling down her face, but she was also angry. Diana runs away down the hall and out of sight. "Are you ok?" Bishop asks. "Yeah! I'm fine" you shake off what just happened with a smile. His hand lands on the wall behind your head "would you like to continue where we left off?" He asks and you shake your head no. He frowns, but he understands.
You slip under his hand and he doesn't stop you. You slip on your clothes and start a long conversation with him about what had been going on when he was gone. It's been 4 hours with you both trying to dissect a facehugger, which is quite a pain then you hear a buzzing in his ear. "they are pinging us over." He says. When you get there, Ripley is with Hudson and Vasquez fooling around and joking. Bishop went over to Ripley as she motioned him to.
"Now let me get this straight.
The aliens paralyzed the colonists, carried them over there, cocooned them to be hosts for more of those…" Ripley points at the stasis cylinders containing the face-hugger specimens. "Which would mean lots of those parasites, right? One for each person...over a hundred at least." She asked
"Yes. That follows." Bishop says "But these… things come from eggs...so where are all the eggs coming from?" Ripley asks and pauses "That is the question of the hour. We could assume a parallel to certain insect forms who have hivelike organization. An ant of termite colony, for example, is ruled by a single female, a queen, which is the source of new eggs." He says.
"You're saying one of those things lays all the eggs?" Ripley asks.
"Well, the queen is always physically larger than the others. A termite queen's abdomen is so bloated with eggs that it can't move at all. It is fed and tended by drone workers, defended by the warriors. She is the center of their lives, quite literally the mother of their society." Bishop runs on. "Could it be intelligent?" She asks.
"Hard to say. It may have been blind instinct...attraction to the heat of whatever...but she did choose to incubate her eggs in the one spot where we couldn't destroy her without destroying ourselves. That's if she exists, of course." Bishop says plainly. Ripley ponders the ramifications of Bishop's analysis. Ripley rises "I want those specimens destroyed as soon as you're done with them. You understand?"
Bishop glances at the creatures, pulsing malevolently in their cylinders. "Mr. Burke has instructions that they were to be kept alive in stasis for return to the company labs. He was very specific." Bishop says and Ripley feels the fabric of her self-restraint tearing. She slaps the intercom switch. "Burke!" She calls out and you look over at Bishop with a grin "He's in deep shit" you laugh and he laughs with you.
Everyone leaves the room so you and Bishop are alone, making things… well you can't say awkward. He walks over to you slowly. "Do you need something?" You ask but he doesn't answer. He reaches you and a hand crosses your neck, to the wall behind you like before. Then he twitches suddenly. "Bishop what's wrong?!" You call out but he doesn't answer. You try to push him away, but he won't budge, and then his eyes go blank and you can finally push him off of you. You stand behind him, clueless to what is happening. "Shit" you murmur. Then it hit you.
You reach up to the back of his neck and pull the chip out and he stands straight, not moving. You had to be quick about this though, for people might walk in. You rush over to get a hot glue gun from the side of the room as it seemed like it had everything in it. You grab the gun and start to try to fix the growing tear in the chip. Once you are done with that, you walk over to him but you feel that you are being watched… again. You turn around suddenly but there's no one there. "Ok…" you whisper but then a small hand grabs your shoulders and spins you around, just to slap you.
"Excuse me!" You shout at the person in front of you. It's obviously Diana, because who else would slap you that hard? "What the fuck is wrong with you, you whore!" She screams. You have no words, or any before she said something else. She looks over at Bishop, terrified. "What the fuck did you do? I watched you!" She calls out. "Why the fuck were you "watching" there's something seriously wrong with you Diana." You say calmly. "Nothing is wrong with me Y/n, it's you being a whore that's wrong with you." She said angrily as she stomped over to the lifeless artificial person like a child. "How am I a whore when I made love to him, and only him?"
"Well… i- ya know what, I'm gonna tell everyone that you slept with him" she smiled well she observed him. "Ok?" You pause "I couldn't give two fucks if you did or not… honestly" you give her a shit eating grin, practically begging her to tell everyone, knowing they aren't gonna give a fuck, so you let her. She leaves and you get back to what you were doing. You were supposed she didn't give a shit about what you were doing to him, or how you were helping him. You've been hiding the chip behind you while Diana was acting like a toddler. You go over to him and put it in, having to reach past his soft hair.
He powered up again and turned around, looking sad. "What's wrong hun? What's that look for?" You ask and giggle. "I'm sorry, it was an error in the chip. I'm trying to fix it." He smiled. You go up to kiss him and he gently lays his lips on yours for a moment then let's go and his hands, especially one finger, vibrates. You worry. He never shakes like that. "What's up with your hand?" You ask and he shakes his head with a frown. "My sexual functions are simulating rubbing you off. I'm sorry." He says and you almost snort "I'm sorry, so you're telling me you could have used that when we were fucking?! Woah, that's actually really cool." You say, louder than intended. "Well, next time tell me and I can." His smile widens and you nod.
"Shit!" You say and he turns his head back at you "I filled you in about what's going on right now, and why they need you right now? Right?" You ask. "Affirmative" He smiles. "Well let's go! Vamonos!" You say and he follows you out.
Ripley and Hudsons side
Mixed with the echoing crash-clang is a nerve-wrecking SCREECH of claws on steel. The intercom buzzes, startling them. "Bishop here. I'm afraid I have some bad news." He says over the coms. "Well, that's a switch," Hudson laughs.
You walk into the room with Bishop and he goes over to the window where Ripley and Hudson stand. You stand over to the side, just watching them. You overhear the conversation. It's hard not to listen.
"That's pretty Bishop, but what are we looking at" Ripley asks "That's it. See it? Emergency venting." Bishop answers as you see big blueish steam rising from outside somewhere. "How long until it blows?" Ripley asks "I'm projecting total systems failure in a little under four hours. The blast radius will be about thirty kilometers. About equal to ten megatons." Bishop runs on.
Before anyone could say anything more, Diana rushes in. The fuck does she want, you thought. "Do you need anything?" Ripley sighs. "She fucked him!!" Diana called out. "Who fucked who?" Hudson asked, confused. "Y/n" she breathed hard. You can tell she ran here. "She fucked Bishop" she panted and Hudson looked shocked. "Y/n…?" He said quietly. "C,mhere!" He shouted as he raised his fist for a fist bump and you did, and gave him one, while smiling from ear to ear.
"You gotta tell me about it when we get back!" Hudson said and you laughed and shook your head "Nah, I'd rather not" you smile and look back at Diana. Ripley just smiled, glad for you, but seeming stressed at the moment. Diana was furious, thinking all of them would be mad, and you, humiliated. Vasquez was also smiling. "We got problems." Hicks calls "I don't fucking believe this." Hudson says and you roll your eyes. "Do you believe this?" Hudson replies to himself "And it's too late to shut it down?" Ripley asks, not paying any attention to Hudson. "I'm afraid so. The crash did too much damage. The overload is inevitable, at this point." Bishop says.
"Oh, man. And I was gettin' short, too! Four more weeks and out. Now I'm gonna buy it on this fuckin' rock. It ain't half fair, man!" Hudson exclaims "Hudson, give us a break. They watch as another gas jet lights up the fog-shrouded landscape. "We need the other drop-ship. The one on the Sulaco. We have to bring it down on remote, somehow." Ripley says, looking at Hicks
"How? The transmitter was on the APC. It's wasted." Hudson cries. "I don't care how! Think of a way. Think of something." Ripley paces "Think of what? We're fucked." Hudson cries out again in-between some "Shut up"s from Hicks. "What about the colony transmitter? That up-link tower down at the other end. Why can't we use that?" Hicks asks "I checked. The hard wiring between here and there was severed in the fighting." Bishop answers.
Ripley is wound up like a dynamo, her mind spinning out options, grim solutions. "Well then somebody's just going to have to go out there. Take a portable terminal and go out there and plug in manually." Ripley says to which Hudson's face turns grim. "Oh, right! Right! With those things running around. No way." He says and you could hear someone muttering something, then they spoke up. "I'll go." Bishop says quietly. "What?" Ripley asks "I'll go" Bishop repeats himself.
"I'm really the only one qualified to remote-pilot the ship anyway. Believe me, I'd prefer not to. I may be synthetic but I'm not stupid." Bishop smiles for a moment, seeming to be proud of himself. "All right. Let's get on it. What'll you need?" Ripley asks. You turn your head away and walk with them into a med lab.
Vasquez and Hicks
"Listen." Vasquez shushes. It's stopped. They listen. Nothing. An instant later comes the high pitched shrilling of a motion-sensor alarm. Hicks looks at the tactical board. "Well, they're into the complex." Hicks says plainly
INT. MED LAB 130
One of the acid holes from the colonists' siege has yielded access to subfloor conduits. Bishop lying in the opening, reaches up to graph the portable terminal as Ripley hands it down to him. He pushes it into the constricted shaft ahead of him. She then hands him a small satchel containing tools and assorted patch cables, a service pistol and a small cutting torch. "This duct runs almost to the up-link assembly. One hundred eighty meters. Say, forty minutes to crawl down there. One hour to patch in and align the antenna. Thirty minutes to prep the ship, then about fifty minutes flight time." Bishop goes on. "Great" you sigh and he looks back at you with a grin. "Wanna come along?" Bishop asks and you nod
Ripley looks at her watch. "It's going to be closer. You guys better get going." "See you soon, C’mon Y/n!" he says cheerfully as he squirms into the shaft, pushing the equipment along ahead of him with a scraping rhythm. The diameter of the conduit is barely larger than the width of his shoulders. Then you get in, doing the same. Vasquez slides a metal plate over the hole and begins spot welding it in place. Bishop and you look back as the welder seals you guys in. He sighs fatalistically and squirms forward. Ahead of him the conduit dwindles straight to seeming infinity. Like being in the bore of a very long Howitzer. You say nothing as you crawl along.
When you finally make it there, it's very windy and cold, lightning everywhere.
hunched against the wind at the base of the telemetry tower. He has a test-bay panel open and the portable terminal patched in. His jacket is draped over the keyboard and monitor unit to protect it from the elements and he is typing frenetically. "Now, if I did it right…" He whispers to himself He punches a key marked "ENABLE." And the ship is off
10 mins later
"Bishop, you read me? Come in, over." A voice says through the coms, it's Hicks. There is a long pause then Bishop's voice, almost unintelligible with interference, comes over the radio. "Yes, I read you. Not very well... " Bishop replys.
Bishop is huddled against the base of the telemetry mast, out of the wind which is now gusting viciously. "The ship is on its way. ETA about sixteen minutes. I've got my hands full flying…" Bishop raises his voice over the coms. the weather's come up a bit. Bishop's fingers are blurring over the terminal keys and he squints, watching the screen as the flight telemetry updates rapidly. In the b.g. the AP station has become a raging demon, wreathed in boiling steam and electrical discharges. "All right, stand by there. We're on out way. Over." Hicks says and he's out.
You turn to Bishop, wind almost blowing your face away, a single tear falling down your face, and a smile on your lips. You started a nice conversation with him, telling him what happened while he was gone, or dormant. "So you're telling me this other Bishop told you about the time I was "born"?" He said, barely audible over the high winds. "Yep, all of it." You yell over the winds. He seemed surprised, he knew he would have told you if you had asked and laughed.
"Shit, we gotta go, it's gonna be here soon" you say and you rush out of there.
Drop-ship two descends toward the landing grid, side-slipping in hurricane gusts. Bishop stands, guiding it with the portable terminal. The ship sets down hard. Slides sideways. Stops. Bishop turns as Ripley and Hicks stumble out of a doorway in the colony building behind him. He goes to them, helping to support Hicks and they run toward the ship, buffeted by the gale. Ripley shouts, her words barely audible over the wind. "HOW MUCH TIME?" Ripley yells "PLENTY! TWENTY-SIX MINUTES!" Bishop answers. "WE'RE NOT LEAVING!" Ripley says and Bishop's facial expression is… from what you can see, confused. "WE'RE NOT?"
You step to Bishop's side once again. "Where is everyone?" You ask, trying to be as calm as possible "Dead. Let's go." Ripley said with a flat tone.
The loading ramp deploys and they run into the ship. An infernal engine, roaring out of control. Steam blasts and swirls, lightning zaps around the superstructure and columns of gas thunder hundreds of feet into the air. You look up in astonishment. If you had more time, you would have stayed and stared at it, but you had no time for that.
Ripley finishes winding tape around a bulky object and drops the roll. She has crudely fastened a M-41A assault rifle together, side by side, with a flamethrower. A massive, unwieldy package of absolute firepower. Her movements are precise...determined. She works rapidly, snatching magazines, grenades, belts and other gear from the fully stocked ordnance racks of the drop-ship.
Bishop comes out from the pilot's compartment to help Hicks dress his injuries. Hicks is laid out in a flight seat, the contents of a field medical key, strewn around him. He's out of the game...contorted with pain. "Ripley…" Bishop sighs "She's alive. They brought her here and you know it." Ripley says "in seventeen minutes this place will be a cloud of vapor the size of Nebraska." Bishop sighs again. Ripley is stuffing gear rapidly into a satchel, her hands flying. "Hicks, don't let him leave." Ripley eyes Bishop "We ain't going anywhere." Hicks said, grimacing in pain. Ripley runs down the ramp, crossing the platform to the open doors of a large freight elevator. The doors close.
You felt really bad for him, standing over him. He was one of your friends. You went to go stand out on the bridge of the drop-ship. "What the fuck?" You ask yourself as a small figure approaches the dropship. "Diana, what-" you try to make out the figure and sure enough, it's her. "Oh fuck" you blurt out. "What's up?" Hicks says painfully. "It's Diana" you sigh as you see her flap her arms in the air to try to get your attention. "I'd- I'd say shut the damn door, but that would be rude" Hicks tried to laugh. When she reached the bridge, she hopped on and ran straight to Bishop, who was still treating Hicks's wounds. She tried to hug him but he gently pushed her off.
"What's wrong hun?" She says. "What? Please don't call him that." You say, trying not to get annoyed. You could tell Hicks was enjoying this squabble since he was not trying to break it up. "I can call him whatever I want." She said as she walks up to you and slaps you for the second time today. "Fuck you" you say softly and punch her square in the bridge of her nose and she passed out right away. "Y/n!?" Bishop called. "Holy shit" Hicks said and you just smiled as she's laid out on the floor.
Bishop rushes up to the pilot's chamber and starts the ship. "What are you doing?!" You yell "the platform is getting unstable!" He calls back to you. "But Ripley?" You say and you get no answer.
30 minutes later
You just sit in your seat, Diana still passes out and you sigh "Damn, this bitch." Bishop let's down the ship and you gasp. The doors open and Ripley and the girl run in
Ripley leaps into a seat with the girl, cradling her. Begins strapping in. Bishop wrestles with the controls. The landing legs retract, ripping free. Ripley slams her seat harness latches home. "Ripley!" You say as she turns her head to you and then Diana. "Shit, what happened?" She asked and you told her everything and she just sat there with no words.
"Punch it Bishop!" She called
The entire lower level of the station disappears in a fireball. The air vibrates with intense heat waves and concussion. The drop-ship engines fire. Ripley is slammed back in her seat. The ship vaults out and up, Bishop standing it on its tail, pouring on the gees. Ripley and Newt see everything shake into a blur.
30 minutes later
Diana finally woke up, just staring at you the whole way to the Sulaco, probably not knowing what happened.
Bishop stands behind Ripley as she kneels beside a comatose Hicks. "I gave him a shot, for the pain. We'll need to get a stretcher to cart him up to medical." Bishop says. Ripley nods and, picking up the little girl, precedes Bishop down the aisle to the loading ramp. "I'm sorry if I gave you a scare but that platform was just becoming too unstable…" Bishop continues as they move down the ramp. "I had to circle and hope things didn't get too rough to take you off." He says. Ripley turns to him, stopping part way down the ramp. She puts her hand on his shoulder. "You did okay, Bishop." Ripley says. "Well, thanks, I-"
He notices a tiny innocuous drop of liquid splash onto the ramp next to his shoe. SSSSSS. Acid. Something bursts from his chest , spraying Ripley and you with milk-like android blood. It is the razor-sharp scorpion tail of the alien queen. Driven right through him from behind. Bishop thrashes, seizing the protruding section of tail in his hands, as it slowly lifts him off the deck. Above them the Queen flowers from its place of concealment among the hydraulic mechanisms inside one landing-leg bay.
It blends perfectly with the machinery until it begins to emerge. Seizing Bishop in two great hands it rips him apart and flings him aside, shredded, like a doll. It descends slowly to the deck, the rotating lights shining across its shiny black limbs, dripping acid and rage. Still smoking where Ripley half-fried it. The Queen is huge, powerful...and very pissed off. It descends slowly, its six limbs unfolding in inhuman ways.
"BISHOP!" You scream as you try to run over to him but Diana grabs your collar and pulls you back, making sure she's there first, but before she can make it, the razor sharp tail slices her straight in half, blood spilling and guts falling out of her and tears stream down your face. "HOLY SHIT" You scream and freeze in place.
You and the little girl run for cover. The Alien drops to the deck, pivoting toward the motion. Ripley waves her arms, decoying. You and the girl get under I grate, trying to hide from the creature, but, you see a big hand trying to rip the grates up and you try not to scream as you rush down the system. As you are trying to get away, the clawing stops and you do the same, and so does the little girl. You hear a stomping on the ground from above and the creature turns around from the grates. "Get away from them you Bitch!" Ripley says from about ant the "Queen" runs towards Ripley. This is your time to escape with the girl. You run from the queen and pick up the girl as you do it.
You see Ripley in a power loader "Holy shit" you mutter, and Bishop, violently torn in two.
Ripley pulls her arm out of the controls of the loader and claws toward a panel of airlock actuating buttons. She punches the red "INNER DOOR OVERRIDE" and latches the "HOLD" locking-key down. A KLAXON begins to sound. She hits "OUTER DOOR OPEN" and there is a hurricane shriek of air as the doors on which they are lying separate, revealing the infinite pit of stars, below.
The girl and you scream as the hurricane airstream sucks you and her across the floor toward the airlock. Bishop, torn virtually in two, his pasta-like internal organs whipped by the wind, grips a stanchion and reaches desperately for the girl as she slides past him, but not you as his hands are full. He catches her arm and hangs on as she dangles, doll-like, in the airblast. You grab onto a grate, also dangling like the girl. You don't know what is happening but as soon as you know it the airlock is closing with shrieking winds.
When It finally does close, Ripley emerges from the pit, not in the power loader at the moment. She lies on her back, drained of all strength. Gasping for breath. Weakly, she turns her head, seeing Bishop still holding Newt by the arm. Encrusted with his own vanilla milkshake blood. Bishop gives her a small, grim smile.
"Not bad for a" He gurgles "human." He winks.
The little girl is called out for Ripley, calling her mommy, to which Ripley grabs her, like a mother and her child, and cradles her, spinning her around and hugging her tightly, careful not to hurt her.
You smile at Bishop, hurting just looking at him, but you gather the strength to go over to him, and kiss him on his, also encrusted lips and he smiles back
Ripley is carrying Newt on her hip, and you are carrying Bishop's top half, In your arms to the Cryogenic chambers and lie him in it, in a big plastic-like bag. But before you close it, he blurts out three simple, but complicated words. "I love you" he says and before you can say it back, he shuts himself down and you begin to cry while you walk over to yours. Ripley lies Hicks in one of the chambers next to her and Newt in another, having a little conversation before her, and you both get into your own chambers and drift off to sleep, but you, with one tear rolling off of your face. It's been a tough journey, but you are just glad you made it.
Tag List: @soggy-enchilada (hi! So ik I'm tagging you in all of this so I'm sorry, it just seemed like you were interested!)
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szopenhauer · 4 years ago
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What type of friend are you?  funny mom friend so like... dad friend? XD 
Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? nah
Do you have a family member you hate? could say so
Does your family accept who you are? it’s complicated
Have you ever puked in school or at work? luckily not
Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? hate 
Have you ever coughed up blood? nope
Do you lie to your doctor? sometimes we all have to but nothing important
Have you ever been misdiagnosed? yup
Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? that too
Is self diagnosing good or bad? depends
Do you think sex is overated? it is
Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies? I’m not dating men, I don’t want to have a son and I am not a doctor so I don’t care about male bodies, sorry
If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? ...
Have you ever dated someone more than twice your age? nooo
Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? I don’t drink
Have you ever borrowed money from your mom & lied about why you needed it? I don’t think so
Have you ever dated someone just because they had money? no
Have you ever lied to your spouse about the money you spent shopping? it wasn’t a lie but I bend the truth a little 
Have you ever gone on a first date with no underwear? I might go without a bra but because I don’t wanna wear it and not because I might have sex 
Do you treat attractive people better than others who aren’t as attractive? nope
Are you more comfortable with friends that are less attractive than you? not less but not more as more attractive might make me feel insecure at times
Have you ever hated a job to the point that you tried to get fired? I would if they let me stay in few places but luckily they didn’t care much about me as their worker hahaha
Have you ever lied about your weight on a driver license? there is weight on a driving license? :o
Have you ever lied during a job interview? meh
Have you ever lied to your boss to get out of work? I exaggerated feeling sick once to not get a job in a horrible place if that counts
Have you ever lied under oath in court? I wouldn’t!
Have you ever bought alcohol for someone underage? I said NO
Have you ever switched tags on an item to pay less for it? I only took tag from an identical item, just different color, as someone tore it out before and I really wanted that particular color, so no
Have you taken any pics of yourself that you wont want your parents to see? umm... yeah ^^”
Did you ever tell your BF/GF you like their outfit when you really didn’t? there are different types of like - like as I would want to wear that myself and like as I enjoy it in general but also like it on particular person etc. 
Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF ’s family? could be worse lol
Do you lie about your age? what for if everybody think I’m younger anyway
Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? maybe
Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? hell no
Have you ever snuck out of the house to go out with friends? not really
Have you ever shoplifted? no way
Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? yup Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? omg
Have you ever held back a well deserved compliment because you were jealous? I don’t recall
Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? hope not, I try not to, it’s manipulative and I already am seen this way due to my BPD so... 
Would most ppl consider you better than average looking? pfft Would you prefer to have hot body or high IQ? good health
Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I’m ashamed to tell them that I don’t have a job 
Would you give up your car to save the planet? if I had one...
Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? woman :x
Has your credit card ever been declined? I don’t use a credit card
If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? oh no...
Do you think your parents are too critical of you? my mother is
Ever blame a sibling for something you did wrong? I usually have to take the blame for her instead
Have you ever accepted credit for someone else’s work? just my alters lmfao
Did you ever buy something expensive,wear it once and return it? I didn’t, I have no money to buy and no heart to act like this either
Have you ever re-gifted something? shitload of times
Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? not for future ppl, just for itself
Do you own anything from IKEA? not furniture 
What was the last task that you required the use of scissors for? I just dropped them and let them lay on the floor under the table because I am unable to reach ‘em
Look around the room and name any item that’s grey. stuffed bad from Biedronka that I got on a flea market
Do you know what any of your close friends did yesterday afternoon? me and M. been spending time together while my parents were at home
Can you recall the last time you woke up in a bad mood? Why was that? I always do?...
Who was the last person to send you a message with a heart emoji? my gf obviously
Does your hometown have many good bookshops? none
What would be your typical outfit for a party? I don’t attend parties 
If your girlfriend/​​boyfriend broke up with you tonight, what would you do? oh...
last dream you had: K. 3D printed or smth almost identical album as the ones I had as a baby and her and my current partner gave it to me as a gift :3
do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? I aware of that
is your best friend pissing you off at this exact moment? I informed my father that I dropped scissors and now as I picked them up he asked me when and how they ended up there while I told him about it few minutes ago - I was more worried than annoyed tbh
Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? she’s taking a nap
Sex ruins relationships, right? it can happen
Last person to stand up for you? hmm...
The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? I lost count which is weird because I cry in front of my family members only (not even my grandma until I was a baby), I know that sometimes I cry in public but because I don’t give a fuck about strangers as much as I used to, close ones in the other hand... Nat hates the most when someone sees him so vulnerable
Something good going to happen tomorrow? doubt it
The last person you kissed hates you. Why? would have reasons
What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11? it’s a secret you can unlock in a very high level of our relationship
Do you like your cell phone? it’s ok
So, what if you married the last person you kissed? we’re engaged so that dream ain’t that unreal
Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? uh oh
Do you plan on moving out within the next year? I wish
What are you listening to at the moment? mom and dad talking <rolling my eyes>
Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? or never
What’s your favorite high school memory? I have a bunch of those
Do you wish you had more money? absolutely
Team Jacob or Team Edward? team hate Twilight
Do you have a problem with bisexual, gay, or bicurious people? with bicurious maybe, definitely not gay
Have you ever held hands with the opposite sex? I have
Are you a patient person? weirdly unpatient Do you think you are a good person? am not
Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? ewww
Is there a difference between the word ‘best friend’ and ‘friend’? there is 
How was your week? rollerclaster XD
Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? usually
When was the last time you cried? recently
What letter is the song you’re listening to under? M if vocalist/band B if title of the song
Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s I guess
Do your socks say anything on them? I have no socks with anything said on them
Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. BBC
Gray or Grey? grey
Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? I won’t
Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? yasss, it was fine
How many weddings have you been to? less than 5
When you smile, are you confident? I am not
Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? of course
Was the weather beautiful today? it’s cold
Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? I don’t own a fan Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? walls? orange 
Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? why not whole
Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I dislike it
Does/Did your school have a uniform? middle school only and that was a great idea
Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? not gonna
What’s your favorite thing to do? nothing
If your house was haunted, what would you do? depends
What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? slow internet
Are you a fast or slow walker? which alter? :P
Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I must buy belt for Nat
Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? no comment
What age do you look forward to reaching? I live on borrowed air...
What exercise do you hate the most? awkward ones
Do you know anyone that has a gecko as a pet? no
What color shirt is your mom wearing today? she’s wearing a striped pajama and light blue sweater atm
Does any part of your body hurt right now? mor than one
Do you like Greek Mythology? not a fan
When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago
What was the last question you answered, not on surveys? it was more an order than a question coming from my mom 
Do you own anything Polo? used to
Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? neighbor
What is your favorite endangered animal? are elephants still endangered?
Do you like to dance? kinda, from time to time Who was the last person who screamed your name? mom’s calling me again, grrr...
Which underwater creature do you find the most badass? what do you mean?
How do you usually find out what the weather will be like for the next week? someone tells me, I ignore them, they were wrong all along
Why have/haven’t you joined Twitter? I left as it was boring and irritating Are you good at rhyming? but don’t like to rhyme
When’s the last time you were woken up in an obnoxious way? lately it’s common
Why do you/don’t you enjoy horror movies? they’re disgusting and pointless
Do you have any celebrity’s perfume? I don’t use perfume
How well do you do at Scrabble? in polish or english?
Who is your favorite Scooby-Doo character? Velma I suppose
Have you ever played or been interested in playing World Of Warcraft? been interested, liked the movie
What kind of cake/other dessert treat did you have for your last birthday? nothing?
Who do you think does the best job at cartoon voiceovers? Jarosław Boberek 
Does your dad wear a watch all the time? years ago frequently
How much ice cream do you think you’d be able to eat before you got sick? only a bit
Do you know anybody under 40 with grey hair? I have some myself
Do you think you have the potential to be a good stalker? oh well...
Why did you read the last book that you read? I watched film and heard it has a different ending so wanted to check it out
Have you ever cross-dressed? clothes have no gender but I drew mustaches and such 
Which sport are you the best at playing? unihokej/floorball or however it’s called
Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? possibly
What would you do if you were in that situation? I’m an asexual and I’m into girls
Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? not possible
Do you prefer on-campus classes or online classes? online
What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? personal
What’s something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? my skin for example (not color)
What gaming consoles do you own? I only play PC and android 
Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? been to ER few times
Do you know any lesbian couples? I’m in one ;)
Have you ever lived in an apartment building?  just when I was staying with my grandmother
What was the last topic you asked someone for their opinion or advice on? not sure which was last
Is your house visible on Google Street View?- barely
What’s the largest thing you currently have in your refrigerator? *shrug*
Do you know anyone who has never had a pet? I believe
Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? no thx
Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? neither Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? not every single time, it’s impossible!
Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? sorta, I think they’re lying/want something or make fun of me (even if just slightly teasing for fun)
When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? I’m more “ghost” type of person hahaha
Do you wake up cranky? mhm
What is on your wrists right now? sleeves
Are you a beach, country, or city person? country or small town
Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? we are 
What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? ex - I got a gift and found a shirt for Nat and myself :3
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? -
Are you waiting for something? food
Something you do a lot? suffer
How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? it’s not about the amount
What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? she likes hugs
How long have you liked the person you like? it’s a long story 
Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? not our last kiss
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I worry
Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
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Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? we kissed 
Are you one of those people who are always cold? not always but often
Do you tend to waste a lot of money? I still feel like it even tho I don’t, I thrift often but spend little for those trinkets
Did you sing at all today? może coś nuciłam, nie pamiętam, w headspace?
Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? weather
Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? gave it away to John
Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? typing on the computer
In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? hate
Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? trashy
When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? skinny
Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? none
They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? I don’t care for diamonds
Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? plenty of times
Do you get on better with funny or serious people? smth in between
Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? I don’t need period to have mood swings, it’s stereotypical!
Have your friends met the last person you kissed? aha
What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? we would end up having sex? jk
When/where did your last hug take place? today
Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? kind of
Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? and with family 
When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? no shit Sherlock!
What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? don’t wanna talk about all that
Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? my fiancee
Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? done
Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? we’re together again
Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? :D
What’s a cuss word you use often? there’s a whole list
Who’s the last guy you texted? dad
Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? this question...
Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I remember how we met
Do you believe that people talk about you behind your back? ha!
If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? yuk
What are you listening to? Tame Impala - Let It Happen
Did you do something mean to someone today? she deserved it!
Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? babcia...
Give us a lyric from a song you’re listening to: The truth of it is it doesn’t get better than this
Is your birthday in less than 6 months? whoops
What brings out the worst in you? better not say that out loud
How’re you feeling right now? bad
Are you afraid of the future? very
Do you believe in true love? I’m trying
Do you believe that every one has a soul-mate? not everybody
Was today a good day? should be better
What woke you up this morning? woke up on my own
Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? I don’t 
Have you ever played naked twister? wut...
Is your hair longer than your shoulders? not yet and don’t plan to keep it that long
Would you get in trouble if you came home drunk? that would be a shock to my family (and to me)
Do you ever think about things and start to worry? 100% of the time
Are you one to get annoyed easily? that me!
Is the last person you kissed yours? we don’t own ppl...
Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? girl
Are you scared of spiders? am not
Do you hate the last boy who talked to you? I love my parent
Do you tend to make things complicated? not on purpose
Have you ever gotten to the point where you’ve said “I’m done trying”? gqe1gIQASGCK...
Do you think things will change in the next few months? I’m afraid for worse 
Do you like when people play with your hair? it’s strange
What are you wearing right now? bluzę w czarne i białe paski, zieloną bluzkę z długimi rękawami i szare legginsy z niebieskim wzorkiem
Ever feel like you have been replaced? more than once
Would you rather write a paper or give a speech? write
Are you lying to yourself about something? thx a lot for this ask...
Is the person you last texted single? she’s with me
Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? tha hell
If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move to? just my own apartment
Which do you prefer, relationship or a one-night-stand? relationship
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toxinfox · 8 years ago
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Things I Hate About Women’s Clothing: A Rant List
 (Some of this is probably highly relatable to many people, some of it is personal taste and may not resonate with everyone.)
Bras:
               Dear Bra Industry, you’re one of the only fragments of the world of women’s clothing that’s based on actual numbers and measurements. WHY, for the love of God, are you not STANDARDIZED? Why is it possible to be a different cup –or even band—size in different brands? Like, there should not be this much room for difference and error.
Another thing about bras, and this may just be a pet peeve of mine and not shared by anyone else: I hate (haaaaaaaaate) that cup sizes are determined via the ratio between your ribcage measurement and your bust measurement. This is what makes it so that, if you have to go up or down a band size, your cup size changes too… even if your boob size hasn’t changed at all. This is stupid. Why oh why can’t we base fucking cup sizes on a standardized volume, rather than a ratio? (Don’t even try to defend the ratio method to me; I don’t want to hear it.)
Patterns:
               I’ll preface this rant by admitting that this one is mostly just about taste preference but… I’m sorry, why are there so many hideous patterns out there? Why are there so many ugly florals in god awful color combinations that look like they came off of a couch from the 70s? Why, in spite of the widespread knowledge that vertical stripes are more slimming, are horizontal stripes a million times more common? Why, whyyyyyy are we still making huge volumes of clothing in colors and patterns that flatter maybe 0.2% of the population?
Jeans/pants:
               Oh my god. Pants/jeans designers, what do you have against women with actual butts??? All I want is a mid-rise, dark wash pair of jeans that actually stay where I put them. Without a belt, because fuck belts, they’re uncomfortable and don’t work anyway. But no! It’s like jeans manufacturers haven’t figured out that the BACK OF THE PANTS might need more ROOM than the FRONT. Like, a LOT more. Please, dear god.
               Also, and again this is a style-based thing… I’d like to see two specific styles die a horrible, flaming death:  ‘artfully shredded’ and ‘skinny jeans’. That’s right, I said it, fuck skinny jeans and jeggings. Fuck them. I hate them. They make my legs look thicker than they already actually are. This is the opposite of what I want in my jeans. Why did boot cut have to go away? It was about the only thing that actually made my legs look GOOD.
Skirts:
               Women have hips. Or at least, many, many women have hips. Hips and butts. Can we PLEASE design skirts that don’t make that whole situation worse? Much like my gripe about jeans, can we please design skirts that take into account the fact that the back is gonna need more room? I’m tired of trying on a skirt that hits mid-thigh in front… and barely covers my rear in the back. Seriously. I don’t want to be eternally consigned to knee-length or maxi skirts. The former looks frumpy and the latter is nightmarish on a hot day, or when trying to do anything remotely physical, like go up stairs, or stand up from a crouch. (See how many times you step on your skirt hem! Such a fun game.)
Fabric:
               I know that this is largely a quality problem more common in cheap clothing, but I’m going to whine anyway-- …can our shirts be less sheer? Can they be made of fabric that doesn’t act like Velcro and make my usually-behaved hair turn into a snarled rat’s nest from rubbing against it all day? Can skirts maybe NOT be made of static electricity and wrinkles? Can the linings in my jackets stop ripping in twelve places just from wearing it for a day? It’s likely that I’m just too broke to buy clothing made of good fabric, but… I’m too broke to buy clothing made of good fabric, folks. My price range is Target, Ross, and Goodwill. I make do. 
Shoes:
               Pointy-toed shoes are neither cute nor comfortable. I want them to die a horrible, horrible death, buried up the anus of whoever invented them. Seriously. Who looks at pointy-toed shoes and thinks ‘why yes, I would like to own witch shoes!’ any time outside the context of Halloween?
               Also, sandals. Every year, I look for summer sandals that are A) Not ugly, B) don’t chafe, and C) aren’t a rent payment. I wore one pair of sandals for eight years, until they were literally falling apart, before I found another acceptable pair. Eight. Years.
               Just… why are so many shoes so, so ugly? Why?
Torso problems:
               So, I have a long torso. I know this won’t apply to everyone, but I’m sure anyone else who DOES have this problem will hear me.
               So, oh my god, shopping for anything that has to fit between shoulders and hips. Shirts are too short, unless you either buy nothing but tunics (not always in style, and a high likelihood of looking frumpy if done wrong, especially if you have hips), or wear high-wasted pants (aka the devil). So you end up with that 1-2 inch skin gap between your shirt and your pants waistband. Is that just me? That can’t just be me.
               One piece swimsuits are right out. Either they become instant wedgies, or dip waaaaay too low over the boobs, risking a ‘wardrobe malfunction’, or they simply stretch taut between your shoulders and your crotch, and don’t conform to your curves at all, making you look like a lumpy cylinder. Going up a size makes them wider, not longer, which doesn’t help.
               Dresses… it’s similar to the problem with skirts, except it’s all-around. Everything is an inch or so shorter on a long-torso than a regular or short one. And an inch on a skirt can make a difference. (If you compound ‘long torso’ with ‘big booty’, which is my specific problem, dress-shopping for anything but knee-length or longer is a nightmare.)
               Bodysuits, leotards, and most other dancewear is just right out. Especially if, again, you have that butt problem, too.
What I want:
I want a bra that fits snugly, comfortably, supportively. The straps don’t dig into my shoulders. The cups actually hold my boobs properly, without spillage. The underwire doesn’t dig in. There aren’t like twelve hooks to hook, or special instructions regarding how to put the damned thing on. (No, I’m NOT going to ‘bend over, let my boobs fall into the cups, and hook the bra behind my back, then stand up’. I CANNOT hook a bra behind my back. I’m going to put my goddamn bra on the normal way by hooking it in front of me, turning it around, pulling it up into place, and adjusting until everything sits properly, so there.) I also want this bra to NOT be ugly and NOT be super expensive, and I don’t want to have to try on 40 goddamn bras to find this mythical perfect bra.
I want shirts that aren’t sheer. That don’t make rat nests out of my hair. That fit my long, slim torso and boobs, but that are also cut to accommodate my curvy hips. I want to never deal with the ‘gap’ between my pants and shirt again, especially in the back. I want them to not be ugly colors, or have hideous patterns on them. I want sleeves I can push up, which will actually STAY up. I’ve got a job to do, sleeves just get in the way sometimes. Also not hideously expensive.
I want pants that accommodate my butt. That STAY PUT without a belt, because someone designed them to be worn by someone with a butt. They’re cut well, have stretch where stretch is needed. They don’t gape in the back. They don’t shimmy down when I bend, walk, or crouch. I don’t have to pull them up every five minutes. I don’t want skinny jeans that make my legs look like telephone poles in sausage casings. I want a bit of flare to balance out my thick thighs and hips. I want my pant legs the right length for my (proportionally short) legs without having to take my jeans to a tailor to be altered. Because I don’t have the time or money for that. Again, not expensive, because, honey, I’m broke, have you noticed yet?
I want shoes that aren’t ugly. That don’t hurt my feet. That don’t break the bank. Basic black is fine for 90% of what I need. I don’t need or want ‘cute’ buckles or bows or anything. Just simple. I’m not asking for high heels I can walk five miles in, but I’d like sandals I can do at least one in without blisters, and sneakers and slip-on flats I can work a full day on my feet in.
I want skirts whose front and back hem hit the SAME SPOT on my leg. (Holy Grail! Unicorn!) That don’t wrinkle if I look at them funny, or stick to my legs like an insecure toddler.
I want underwear that fits, and doesn’t become a wedgie every time I move.(No thongs.) That don’t peek up over the back waistband of my pants. I want the crotch area of the underwear to actually be centered over MY crotch, rather than being halfway back because that pair of undies doesn’t accommodate my butt. Again. (*sigh*)
 …you know, about the only thing I don’t have any complaints about are socks. Socks are awesome. 
I’m not really looking for suggestions here, or people telling me I’m ‘just wearing the wrong size’, or telling me I’m doing it wrong. Women’s clothing just sucks. Can we all just agree on that?
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zane-balsis-blog · 8 years ago
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Transgender FtM BINDING Now, I know some people are on a pretty strict budget.  Because of this, finding ways to bind breasts can be extremely difficult and pricey for some.  If you’re small chested, you definitely have an advantage.  I don’t know about the rest of you possibly reading this, but I for one am a C-cup, bordering on a D.  So I’ve had my fair share of difficulties.  I imagine my tips will work for people with smaller chests, but it will definitely work for people with larger. As many sites will tell you, DO NOT USE ACE BANDAGES IF YOU CAN HELP IT.  Ace bandages are meant to tighten with movement and so it will almost act like a snake on its prey; when you breath, it can get tighter.  When you bend over, it can get tighter.  I have used them in order to bind my chest before, back when I didn’t have much money and didn’t have any resources to tell me otherwise, and on top of being painful, it simply didn’t work very well.  The bandage would often slip and I had to make it extremely tight in order for it to look like I was flat chested.  If you must use one, I suggest placing a tight fitting sports bra underneath in order to pre-flatter and keep your breasts in place.  This will also give material for the ace bandage to stick to so it won’t slide quite as much and reduces the amount of sweat build up.  Be careful and do not bind too tightly.  Only do as tight as you need.  If you’re bigger, remember that it’s okay if you’re not 100% flat – most bigger men won’t be either.  DO NOT USE TAPE.  Especially duct tape.  This has a risk of tearing off the skin and also a higher chance of allergic reactions. If you have some money to spend on binders, though, I highly suggest you do, even if it means saving up for it.  A cheaper place to buy binders that work effectively is Underworks.  They are an FTM friendly site that will actually help those who are buying binders for the first time if you’re okay calling them.  They were very kind to me and helped me to pick out the best style for me given my measurements.  I was able to order three binders from here for a pretty reasonable price and they have so far lasted me for about four years and still bind effectively.  I believe I ordered the Double Front Compression Shirt because it was recommended for people with larger breasts.  If you can get away with it, get something a little less heavy duty, as since these covered my rib cage, it was very painful when I was getting used to it.  Only wear them for a couple hours at a time until your body becomes a little more adjusted to it.  You will be more short of breath and there will be some rib aching.  If it really hurts, take it off immediately and think of returning it for a larger size.  You want to be flat, but you don’t want to torture yourself to do it. Recently, I decided to try a new binder that has worked wonders for me.  I went to T-Kingdom, a company based in what I think is Thailand, one of the best places to be if you’re transgendered.  They are far more expensive (I was only able to get one binder for the price of what I got three for at Underworks), but they are definitely higher quality, in my opinion.  They shipped pretty quickly for an overseas package and I was very pleased with the results. I did order one of the more expensive ones; Model 801 Short “Sports-Bra.”  I chose it because it zippers rather than being a pull over and didn’t go down over my ribs, which is something I got extremely tired of with the Underworks models.  I still wear them, but I go for this one first.  The material is lighter while still compressing well, it doesn’t restrict my breathing or my movements, and it feels like I’m almost wearing nothing at all.  It does the job well and it breathes easy in the summer, so I didn’t sweat as much – an added bonus since, and this may be TMI but, I sweat like a god damn horse.  It’s ridiculous and annoying when you’re trying to bind.  If you can afford them, I suggest them more than Underworks, but the latter will be sufficient if you’re on a budget.  Full-length binders also have the added bonus of flattening out some of the curve in the waist and hips if it’s long enough. If neither of these are too your liking, simply Googling “Chest Binders�� will come up with enough hits that lead to either actual sites or FTM dedicated sites that have more resources than I apparently do.  They also might have more at-home suggestions.  I never tried many.  I decided the binders were worth saving for. Moving on! CLOTHING Alright, there are a lot of videos on YouTube about this, but I’ll be damned if they ever really helped me.  I have a very picky style and the suggestions just made me look fat, not masculine.  You may find that these suggestions for clothing don’t work for you and will have to experiment to find your own style, or alter things to adopt it into what you wear daily.  But here’s what I know works. Don’t go too baggy.  Yeah, that’s right – don’t.  A size up may be a good idea if you’re more curvy, but I find that so long as I’m not wearing something skin tight, I don’t need to.  Nine times out of ten, bigger clothing will just make you look bigger, not more masculine.  Does this mean you can get away with skinny jeans?  Probably not.  If you have an ass or hips, you’re going to just show them off with tight pants.  But it means you don’t want to get pants that are hanging down around your ass and avoiding touching your thighs altogether – unless that you’re style choice, of course, in which case have at it.  What I find, though, is that baggier clothing just makes it look like you’re trying to hide something.  When I was wearing baggier shirts and pants because an FTM site recommended it, I only passed about 40% of the time, as opposed to how often I do now.  Baggier clothing made someone think I was pregnant, not male.  Not the outcome I was looking for.  Wear clothing that is in your size, no matter what that may be.  Avoid tight jeans, as I said, and shirts with ultra-thin material.  Avoid shirts with patterns that attract to the chest area unless you’re already extremely flat chested and can get away with it; I find that when I wear graphic t-shirts, I don’t pass as often, unless the print covers the entire shirt.  This is likely due to the fact that even the best binder can sometimes leave a little breast apparent, but only if you’re drawing attention to it. LAYER.  I can not emphasize this enough.  Layer, layer, layer any chance you get.  It’s a bitch in the summer, yes, but easy to do in the winter.  On a daily basis, I like to look professional.  I wear my binder, an undershirt (sleeveless, usually), a button-up shirt and a vest regularly.  The vest can sometimes add to the compression of the binder so I can get away with wearing one that was a little loose on me.  I wear these with nice pants or jeans, it doesn’t matter which, it just depends on if I want to look more casual or more relaxed.  Vertical stripes help, though I can’t exactly say why.  I just know they do.  Horizontal do not and can again make the chest look a little bustier.  Again, I’m not sure why, I’m not exactly a fashion expert here, but I imagine it’s along the same principle of vertical stripes making you look skinny and tall, while horizontal make you look short and wide. Shoes.  I highly suggest boots, especially one with thick soles that can add height.  It is always a good thing to add height wherever you can, however you can.  The taller you are, the more manly you will look.  Thankfully it’s not the be all and end all of passing requirements since guys can be midgets (sorry – vertically challenged?) too.  I suggest leather boots, though suede would work too – dark colors such as black or a deep brown are best.  I find that a pair of black boots from Hot Topic give me three inches while still looking very masculine.  If you live in a place where it rains or snows a lot, get waterproofing spray or they will fall apart quickly.  Cheap material is cheap. Colors for clothing are just as important as the clothing you wear.  Stick to darker or more muted colors such as browns, grays, black, deep blues and greens, etc.  I’m not trying to stereotype, but darker colors hide bulges and curves better than pastels.  Besides, take a look at the guys around you sometime – do you often see them in bright colors?  Maybe it’s a Maine thing, but you don’t see many dudes wearing pinks and purples and other bright and vibrant colors around here.  Once in a while, I’ll dawn a nice light blue or a mauve tone, but usually for special occasions and always with black pants and a black vest over it.  Again, it just helps to hide curves, I find.  Feel absolutely free to ignore this advice. Hoodies/sweaters of any kind in the winter are always a plus (or, if you’re crazy like me, wear them all year round).  If you like the pull over kind, that’s fine, as no matter what, it just adds to the layers I was mentioning earlier, but I usually wear zipper ones.  Why?  Well, not only do I like it better, but I also find that it once again hides any curves that my binders don’t, especially when I leave them unzipped.  They also go amazingly under my jean jacket and since I’ve worn them in combination, I have gotten called sir by almost every stranger I run into.  When I voted, they called me sir, and I wasn’t even binding that day.  The combination of my jacket and my thick hoodie was apparently enough to hide everything else.  This is why I tell you to layer. It really does work.  I’m not just bullshitting you. I think that’s about all I have to offer on clothes.  So moving on… HAIR As obvious as it may seem, don’t go for long hair unless you’re positive you can pull it off.  Even some of my guy friends who have long hair get called ma’am because of it until someone sees they have a goatee and then they just feel like a jackass.  All the same, to avoid this awkward situation, stick short.  I’ve tried a variety of hair cuts, but I find that a typical men’s cute looks the best for my facial shape.  If you like longer hair, going in and getting what I think my stylist called the “Skater Boy” cut works very well.  It’s lengthy with choppy layers, but still short enough to look masculine.  That typical hair cut you see on every teenage boy within a 4 mile radius these days?  Yeah – that’s the hair cut I’m talking about.  It’s great if you like hair in your eyes. A lot of FTMs I know recommend going to a barber.  They have more experience cutting hair for men so I can see how this would make sense.  Me?  I’m picky and probably spend more on my hair than I should.  I like my hair a certain way.  So I go to a salon with a picture of how I want my hair and tell them to do that.  They always do.  You want to make sure it’s a salon that’s GLBT friendly, of course, so scope around the best you can.  I have yet to find one that isn’t, or if they are, they’re really good at hiding it because you give them money whether they hate you or not.  Find a stylist you can trust.  If the current one you have is one you feel you can ask to start making you look more masculine?  Do it. I’ve found it’s a pretty large agreement amongst people to just get a new one, however, as your old one might always look to you as the female you were, unless they are knowledgeable on gender expression. If you have sideburns, make sure that they’re cut in a straight line.  Do not let them grow pointy.  Given that men shave, they’re sideburns are rarely if ever pointy because of the way you slide the razor.  It will do wonders in helping your jaw line to look more masculine. Body hair wise – leg hair is obvious.  Grow it out.  I wear long pants because I don’t grow leg hair very well.  It’s not very thick and my legs suck anyway.  But it’s good to have there.  Underarm hair is also a good idea, but I imagine you know that already.  Facial hair?  Now – that’s a tricky thing.  Your face is covered in peach fuzz that is only found on prepubescent boys and women.  Unless you’re Native American (some tribes, if not all, can not grow facial hair, so that makes you safe), then you’re going to want to shave.  Yes – that’s right.  Shave your face.  It will again bring a more masculine look to your jawline, get rid of your little boy peach fuzz, and help you to keep those sideburns cut off just right.  I read this somewhere on a site once and I thought it was bull, but it’s not.  It helps.  And it’s fun to do anyway. PACKING Uh. Okay.  This is probably more awkward for me to write than it is for you to read.  I know packing can sometimes be a very important piece to a lot of people.  I am the kind of person who is under the assumption that packing isn’t always necessary because believe it or not, most people don’t go around and stare at your crotch wondering if there’s a penis in there.  So if you don’t want to do it, it won’t kill you.  It won’t make people suddenly go, “Oh!  There’s no bulge!  They clearly have a vagina.”  I promise. If you want to pack, however, these are my suggestions: Wear briefs or boxer briefs. While boxers are great and I wear them most of the time, they suck for packing.  Why?  Because if you don’t have a harness, there’s nothing to hold it in place.  And even if you do?  It’s easy for your thighs to push the packer forward and then you just look like you have a raging hard-on while you’re walking through the mall.  No one wants to look like that guy.  Trust me.  It’s hella-awkward.  When I wear boxers, I find I’m spending 99% of my time trying to keep the packer in the right place and it just looks like I’m too busy adjusting and/or scratching my balls than to pay attention to wear I’m going.  It is not fun.  Not fun at all.  So yes – tighter undergarments are a must. Now, what kind of packer do you want to use?  Do you want to make one at home?  Do you want to purchase one online?  Do you want one you can use to go to the bathroom?  All of these are options.  Me?  I bought one online and do not use it for bathroom purposes.  Figuring out how to use peeing tubes seemed way too complicated and it would be a little strange if I didn’t line it up correctly and there was suddenly piss going down my leg in the bathroom, even though I had whipped it out and gone to pee in a urinal.  It wasn’t worth the trouble.  Using stalls is okay.  Sitting down is okay.  Or be like me and just never, ever use a public bathroom because they’re kind of disgusting anyway.  Here is a list of all sorts of packers, including instructions on how to make one at home.  This is the site I used to find the right one for me. I purchased the Mr. Right packer with a harness, though I can’t remember which site I got it from.  It’s about 4 inches, soft, and easy to use when I do decide to pack.  I’ve been pretty happy with it and thought it worth the money. NOTE: If you are going to get a stand and pee packer, be sure to check out the laws in your state.  When I lived with my parents, I found out the state I live in (and I’m pretty sure it’s the same in Maine) has a law stating that biological females can not use male restrooms.  Many people have had to get special accommodations in their universities for similar reasons if they are transgendered.  It’s a pain in the ass, but you don’t want to get found out and slapped with a fine if you don’t have to.  Be careful, guys.  Sometimes it’s just not worth the risk. People have also asked me sometimes whether or not it’s dangerous because other men might found out.  To be honest?  It’s unlikely they would.  Most guys don’t make eye contact let alone check to see whether or not you’re really a man when you come into the bathroom.  Not to say it doesn’t happen, thus the danger of being caught and getting fined for using the bathroom in the first place, but it’s rare from what I’ve seen. BODY CARE & POSTURE Keep your nails short.  It should be obvious that long nails will be seen as feminine, but you’d be surprised how many FTMs I’ve met who still have their long-ass nails and wonder why no one buys that they’re guys.  It’s up to you, clearly, but I highly suggest keeping them trimmed short.  It’s less of a pain in the ass anyway, if you ask me.  Long nails always break anyway. Posture is always hard to give instructions on.  I don’t want to come across as stereotyping male behavior because sometimes it can just make it seem like your compensating.  I do know that if you cross your legs, keep your ankle on your knee – don’t rest legs against legs.  Guys are more likely to slouch and keep their legs slightly apart then women are and they usually take up quite a bit of space because of it.  Don’t overdue it – you don’t have to look like a slob in order to look male.  I usually keep my arms crossed over my torso and I do my best to not.  Touch.  Anyone.  I hate touching people to begin with, but females are often more comfortable with bodily contact than men are with strangers.  So yeah.  Just… don’t cuddle up with random people and you should be good.  Seems easy, right? My best advice for body posture is to just people watch.  Subtly study males around you.  How do they sit?  How do they walk?  How do they carry themselves?  Make sure that you don’t walk with your hips, but instead with your shoulders.  Swing your arms a little if you can do so without looking like a goof.  When you’re home, try and mimic the men you see until you get it down so it looks natural.  Don’t force anything that is uncomfortable and do what makes you feel best.  I’m lucky and had three brothers to study off of, so I’ve just always held myself with masculine posture – but it leaves me with confidence in saying observing is the best way to learn. Most guys suck at hygiene.  Do with that information what you will.  Just don’t stop showering.  You don’t want to be the smelly guy. I suggest wearing Old Spice.  Why? Because anything is possible when you smell like a man and not a lady. That and it’s one of the top selling (I swear I didn’t write “smelling” first) body washes, deodorant, and cologne among men so most guys smell like it.  Really I’m just promoting it because I know my wife loves it.  Use whatever you think smells good. Ax is another good one I’ve found, but most girls I know hate the smells, so I don’t wear it quite as often – and when I do, I use Phoenix.  These are personal preferences.  Seriously, just go smell around.  In stores, preferably.  Not peoples armpits. VOICE This is difficult.  I suggest not trying to lower your voice in face-to-face conversations.  People can see the strain on your face.  Feel free to do so over the phone or Skype or whatever, but really?  People will buy you’re a guy with a high pitched voice most of the time.  Drinking milk apparently helps to lower tone by coating the vocal chords.  If you can use a convincing accent that makes your voice lower, do it.  Just make sure the strain isn’t obvious on your face when you do.  Otherwise you just look silly. One last thing that will make or break your passing.  This is the most essential part and you can not pass without it.  I know it sounds life or death here, but I’m very serious about this.  Even if you dress the part and smell the part and try to act the part, this is your deal breaker. Confidence. If you believe you are a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you will be seen as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  Carry yourself with the assurance that you are male and no one will question you.  Don’t retreat into yourself, don’t constantly judge your every movement, just believe you are a dude and you’ll be fine.  People can tell when you’re sure of yourself and that can sell anything.  You could convince someone the sky was purple if you were confident enough while doing it.  Just repeat to yourself you’re male and soon others will see it as well. So yeah.  Those are my passing tips for FTMs.  They aren’t the best, but they work for me and many people I know.  Hopefully I’ve helped in some way to those who were lost before.  Otherwise, it was really fun to get down on paper, at the very least.  Don’t get pissed at people if they don’t work.  Ma’am and other such feminine pronouns are just meant to be polite.  People don’t know any better.  They’re trying to be friendly and getting mad at someone for being friendly never does anyone any good.  If you must, quietly correct them.  Just remind yourself it’s not their fault.  It will make life so much easier
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rodrigohyde · 8 years ago
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7 style mistakes tall guys should never make
Being tall has its advantages. You're picked first in pick-up basketball. You can date short women and tall women (hey now, double the options!).
But when it comes to your outfits, there are a few things you need to take into consideration, or you risk looking like a giraffe who stumbled through the discount aisle on the way to work. Here are the official rules for how to dress well when you’re over six feet tall.
1. You're wearing ill-fitting off-the-rack dress shirts.
Why you should avoid it: There are way too many variables that go into a good shirt fit. “You want to avoid loose collars, tight shoulders, and short arm lengths, all of which will make you look taller and more giant-like,” says celebrity stylist Michael Fisher. “It's nearly impossible to find all three of these qualities in an off-the rack-shirt, and even hard to fix with tailoring.”
Do this instead: Pay the extra money for a few custom dress shirts. You won’t be sorry when they all fit you like they were made for you (because, y'know, they were). “Investing in made-to-measure shirts will pay off in the long run,” says Fisher.
2. You buy “big and tall” clothes.
Why you should avoid it: “Finding clothes that are long enough can often mean the body ends up being too full,” says Dwight Fenton, chief creative officer for BONOBOS. The result? Baggy pants and droopy shirts, which doesn’t do anything for your style game.
Do this instead: If you’re tall but not big, make sure to have your clothes taken in as needed. “This can easily be rectified with some alterations, keeping you from looking like an 'after' picture in a diet ad,” Fenton says.
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3. You wear vertical stripes.
Why you should avoid it: “Be careful with vertical stripes, such as a pin-striped dress shirt or striped suit,” says Kevin Harter, vice president of fashion direction, Men’s and Home, for Bloomingdale’s. “The stripes will add height to your overall appearance,” Harter says, and you don’t want to look too long and lean if you already are.
Do this instead: “Look for subtle plaids or textures when buying a suit or a dress shirt,” suggests Harter. Avoid any elongating stripes of the head-to-toe variety.
4. Your tie is too short (or long).
Why you should avoid it: “The length of your tie should always just grace the top of your belt buckle or waistband,” Fisher says. If it’s shorter or longer than that, it’s going to throw off the whole look.
Do this instead: Buy a tie that hits you at the correct place, or simply adjust the one you have, if that works. “It doesn’t matter if the front length of the tie is drastically longer than the back. You want the portions to compliment the length of your torso,” says Fisher.
5. You always match your belt, shoes, and outfit.
Why you should avoid it: When you have extra height to work with, mixing rather than matching can be a good thing, as monochromatic colors from head to toe are visually elongating. Great for short guys—not for you.
Do this instead: “Wearing a belt that complements your shoes [and contrasts with your suit] will draw the eye towards the waist and will break up the look,” says Fisher. The idea is to dress in two contrasting colors (think: navy suit, brown shoes and belt), which has the effect of “segmenting and shortening your height,” says Fisher.
6. You go too bold with prints.
Why you should avoid it: “Be selective when choosing prints,” says Fenton. “Bold prints are everywhere these days in men's fashion, but what looks cool on smaller guys can end up looking like a vacation billboard on taller men.”
Do this instead: Stick to the classics, like solids, checks, and plaids. Fisher also recommends taking advantage of horizontal stripes, which help balance out your tall frame.
7. You don’t have a go-to tailor.
Why you should avoid it: When you look like you could be related to Big Bird, “not being buddies with your tailor can be a big miss,” says Fenton. Even if you find jeans in the right inseam or “tall” pant sizes, you’ll still need to make tweaks to some of your clothes to ensure the fit is perfect.
Do this instead: Find a tailor who both listens and offers advice, and see him regularly every season when you buy new suits, pants, or shirts.
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Fashion
from Men's Fitness http://www.mensfitness.com/styleandgrooming/fashion/7-style-mistakes-tall-guys-should-never-make
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