#sorry Shrek I know you defined a generation

[nmzuka]

Huge influx of people tagging that monster meme post as Shrek yes yes I'm well aware pls I get it

But when I say monster I mean I want an actual beastly monster with fangs, fur, and claws to get to be loved even tho they arent human fffff

[lapis-lazuliie]

why eggscellent is the best rs episode

so you all know this episode is my #1 favourite in the entire show, and nothing you can say will change my mind. below i’ve written a pretty long, almost detailed, reasoning of why i hold this one in particular so close to my heart and i would put it under a read more, but again, tumblr on mobile is complete horseshit

so lets get on w/ the “review/rant/opinion piece” ;

i’m going to start at the argument scene between benson and mordecai. what i love most about it is how well recognised it is. i don’t exactly know how to put it bc of course it was “”“well recognised”“” since jg himself wrote the entire episode but…..it’s just such a tense moment already, and it becomes suddenly Worse when mordecai socks benson in the face

the entire argument between them is so emotionally charged and you’re not given a moment to ‘breathe’ until the next scene rolls over of mordecai ordering the omelette. the episode definitely deserved its’ emmy, but that scene ALONE is worth a lot of praise. it was so well written and it’s crystal clear jg /loved/ those two characters in particular

honestly……and i have absolutely no qualms typing this……..i truly think a flip switched on the show after this episode

for the first two seasons, it was really the viewers learning about who these characters are and the world built around them; us seeing the hilarious banter between mordecai and rigby (and others lol), and sure the first few episodes of the 3rd season did that, but when eggscellent aired…….it was an entirely different ballgame

the core of the show is really mordecai and rigby’s friendship; we see their antics through seasons 1 + 2 where it just exists w/ a lot of hilarity in the situations they get in. but nothing actually happened to showcase that friendship (and their characters) propery until ‘eggscellent’, where we were introduced to a truly dire situation where their relationship and mordecai’s character were put on complete display

in the earlier seasons, rigbys defining trait was that he fucks around and doesn’t bother with the backlash from it. mordecai’s defining trait was recognising the responsibility put on him and using that…….(there’s probably a better, more obvious trait, sorry but it illustrates my point plus it’s like 12:30am right now and i just want to get this out of my system lmao….)

in the episode, these traits take an absolute turning point in that it’s not all fun and games anymore; rigby does a completely idiotic thing that lands him in a coma and mordecai makes absolutely no hesitation in stepping up to the plate and making the right decision by doing what rigby now can’t

yes rigby still does fuck up in episodes (and seasons) after this and mordecai still has to stick up for him sometimes but that situation obviously made their friendship a whole lot stronger, and it made the audience extremely aware of the lengths mordecai will go for somebody he deeply cares about…..and that trait was shown countless times after this through various episodes. it made us come to the realisation of how important rigby is to mordecai and had us love their friendship even more bc of what mordecai was willing to do for him

bensons defining trait is his inability to put up with bullshit, namely mordecai and rigby’s bullshit. just as he comes to learn rigby could possibly not wake up from the coma, his IMMEDIATE understanding of the situation is “this is what your idiotic behaviour gets you. this is what happens when you don’t listen to me and this is a perfect fucking learning curve for you two”. and while mordecai can understand this to a certain extent, he still has no hesitation in punching him straight in the face for it bc now is not the time to bring this shit up, especially in the worst fucking situation imagineable and their argument starts from there before mordecai walks out

being on the outskirts of this relationship, benson only witnesses a fraction of mordecai’s caring nature for rigby. but what he doesn’t see or at least doesn’t exactly consider is the absolute compassion and responsibility mordecai feels when faced w/ a scenario where their screwing around takes on an entirely different set of circumstances. and it still doesn’t comprehend bc he’s never fully grasped the idea of them being two seperate people. yes he knows mordecai is capable of responsiblity, moreso than rigby, but it’s somewhat easier for him to simply jam them together because a majority of the dangerous shit caused around the park is always their fault. mordecai could easily blab to benson a lot of the time, but bc of his basic dedication to staying by rigby’s side, he chooses not to, and so benson really has no choice BUT to see them as a unit no matter the situation they find themselves in

a lot of what benson’s about is work and that’s very clearly shown to us from the get go. it’s who he /is/, he’s the boss at the park and that’s all we really get to see of him (until the first few episodes of s3 where we’re given some honest insight into who he used to be and currently is), so of course he holds a certain expectation for the employees who work under him. he expects rigby to do this shitty thing and pay for the aftermath later. he expects mordecai to follow along and pick up the pieces that’ve been dropped by him

bc he’s grown so used to their daily fuck ups, it comes as no surprise to him that rigby lands himself in the hospital from an absolutely idiotic decision he was consciously aware of making. and bc benson is so strongly aware of this, he has the absolute gall to turn around and tell mordecai exactly why this has happened; because they skipped on work

to reiterate: he wants the two to come away from this knowing that a very real and terrifying thing has suddenly come about because they didn’t do their fucking jobs. and this is the exact kind of shit benson had been trying to avoid since hiring them. to him, this was GOING to happen. this was inevitable

these characters and their relationships have already been so well established that having a situation between them suddenly be cranked all the way to 11 is of course going to call for some incredibly needed development; not only does mordecai physically lash out at benson, he also verbally attacks him too by admitting to him that nobody truly cares for him beyond the general boss/employee relationship. it’s extremely harsh and is said in such a cold way that we’re just sat there wondering when benson’s going to speak his mind again to counter with him

but he doesn’t. of course he doesn’t. and why? bc that punch to the face and those verbal insults were a fucking wake up call. in all the time he’s known mordecai, this is the very first instance where he sees firsthand just how mordecai takes on the emotional backlash from shit like this. and he stands there and takes it because he knows mordecai is 100% in the right in his actions and his words; and even if he isn’t, benson takes it on anyway bc mordecai has every fucking right to react like this from being fed such a ballsy piece of bullshit in an incredibly extreme situation that shouldn’t call for this whatsoever

it’s in mordecai’s exact reaction that benson’s logical, “no bullshit’ attitude comes to a grinding halt and he’s suddenly forced to take a step back and really come to terms with seeing mordecai for who he truly is without rigby by his side for the very first time since he’s known him. it’s mordecai’s raw devotion and love for the people he cares about, in this case: rigby, that causes benson to come to the gradual understanding of how much he truly fucked up in saying what he had before

in an earlier s3 episode, benson tries unsuccesfully to get rid of a stick hockey game mordecai and rigby find holed up in the garage. though the two want to know why he’s so against them playing it, we’re not exactly told much of anything until close to the end of the episode, where it’s revealed to us that benson used to be a stick hockey champion and had taken a young apprentice under his wing by the name of dave. without going into details, dave is killed in a match against a man named chong and since the incident, benson has had to put away another facet of his past until the duo dig it up again. so he has no choice but to go down there and play chong, thus winning and getting the closure he needs with daves death

you would think bc of all this, bensons empathy card would come running through the gate as soon as he realises just how serious the situation is. if he wasn’t constantly wearing a shell made of wax paper, maybe the first thing to come out his mouth would’ve been “oh shit mordecai i’m so sorry” instead of “you fucked up and this is why” like a decent human being

……okay

when benson realises what he said was completely uncalled for, he not only apologises to mordecai, but he takes it upon HIMSELF to give him jonthans own book and work with mordecai to complete the challenge, and this leads into what has to be one of my favourite uses of a licenced song in this show since its airing; bonnie tylers ‘holding out for a hero’ played over an animated 80s-esque training montage

the music has always been a main fixture of the show for a lot of people. older audiences can very much appreciate the brief nostalgia trip while saying aloud “they got that song in here? kudos to them!” and younger audiences can appreciate the flashy colours and coming to the realisation that this was played in the cinematic masterpiece that is shrek 2, while both can be similitanously distracted by how truly boring these scenes would be without music overlaying them. that’s the beauty of a montage, folks; no matter the age, they’re still enjoyable to watch….unless they have a shitty song playing over them. 'holding out for a hero’ was such a perfect song choice to have in this episode; not only does it encapsulate the utter cheesiness of every training montage of the 80s but it fits for the exact scenario that rigby is in. i don’t need to spell it out for you bc it’s already there in the damn title, but let me just say that jg could not have chosen a more 'right’ song than this one

they stop outside the restaurant, and as everyone clambers out of the cart, we get ANOTHER one of my absolute favourite scenes between benson and mordecai; i believe this scene was christened amongst the rs fanbase as 'the apology scene’, where mordecai admits to benson that he is a good friend despite how much of an absolute dick benson can be sometimes. it’s incredibly sweet and written in a very direct way; from what we’ve already seen between them up until this point, there is no doubt mordecai holds a complete plethora of feelings about benson and their relationship, benson likewise upon suddenly learning just how highly mordecai values the friendships around him, his own with rigby especially, and instead of getting all choked up about it, mordecai makes it very clear that as of right now, it’s all he has say to benson, and it’s from bensons reaction and one line response that it’s all he needs to hear from him too

in that brief moment, without so much as a few sentences said between them, they’ve come to a mutual understanding of one another, in that both are very aware of just how much this situation has impacted their previous “water and oil” relationship. in fact, this scene was so ridiculously important that in the middle of his commentary for the episode, jg pauses midsentence to watch this scene play out, despite already knowing exactly what happens in it, bc he recognises how pivotal it was in not just their relationship, but in the series as a whole

in an earlier draft of the episode, jg explains in the commentary that they were going to have rigby upchuck the omelette then have the sick come to life and train him in beating the challenge. hilarity and moral questioning ensues when he slowly realises he’s aiding rigby in eating his own kind for a stupid hat and a fight breaks out in the restaurant

not only do i personally fucking adore this change, obviously, but i also find it incredibly interesting in that the absolute craziness of a general episode, where rigby is very much awake and is the main character, is switched out for an episode that showcases the utter importance of friendship, and how rigbys fucking around can get him almost killed, which is what we had seen in previous seasons, but never this bad. in a roundabout way, rigby is the main character, even if he isn’t consciously aware for a second of the events happening around him, bc we see the complete fallback rigbys idiotic decision has on not just mordecai, but benson too

jg clearly took this episode idea and fucking ran with it. it was the only episode to win them an emmy, and rightfully so; every single scene is an absolute masterpiece and it pales in complete comparison to almost every other episode following it. with a show so trenched in its tagline “anything but regular”, the much needed turning point comes as an absolute surprise to the audience, where the core of the show is flipped on its head and we’re suddenly told that your moronic behaviour can have extreme backlash when you’re unaware of the consequences that come with it. having benson and mordecai be front and center of it all, the two characters who are very knowledgable of the sheer stupidity rigby can pocess at times, is so fucking perfect in itself bc it forces them to push aside their differences to work together in something benson would usually find as completely ludicrous and would most likely opt out of if the stakes weren’t so high

i’ve already said before that i love this episode and i will continue to love it bc it is so fucking important. in the 11 minutes of runtime, jg manages to write an episode that, at its core, is about friendship and the lengths you’re willing to go for somebody you deeply care about, while also developing a relationship that goes from absolute hatred to the beginning of a friendship based around that very lesson

though the show had produced some truly great episodes from various board artists, jgs always seemed to have a very distinct style to them; they were always wacky and fun, but took on a serious note at times while also hiding some sort of message underneath the antics, and as every show creator, he was highly keyed into the beats of his show. one of the main reasons this episode was so incredible is bc it was made by somebody who has an extreme love for and deep understanding of his characters; yes the artists episodes were fantastic at times, but when it comes down to it, the creator really does know them best, and being the sole artist for this episode gave jg a ton of creative freedom to try his hand at throwing them into such an intense situation for the first time, where mordecai could potentially lose his best friend and seeing just how everybody responds to the weight of that scenario is exactly something we, the audience, needed to see. and the shows creator healming the reigns for this entire episode was just 👌🏼

you really could not have trusted anybody else to board this episode

[andavs]

A surprisingly much requested (but short) continuation of this unexpected Shrek AU.

The Hale pack lived fairly deep in the forest, so they generally didn’t get many visitors. Especially those tripping through the trees in manacles, chased by both hunters and royal guards with crossbows.

That was new.

Normally, Derek would’ve waited to take stock of the situation, see who was truly in the wrong, whether the man in chains was dangerous to his pack or if he needed help—but this time there was no hesitation. He heard the man’s heartbeat first, the ragged breathing as he ran for his life, the dull thuds of his footsteps across the forest floor, and the howl erupted from his chest on instinct. He didn’t think about it, didn’t hesitate, just knew he had to protect.

If they didn’t already know it before, the reverberating howl let the guards know they were encroaching on the incorrectly infamously deadly wolf territory, and after a freeze and a quick scramble, they left the man lying there where he’d collapsed of exhaustion. And maybe a sprained ankle, if not a broken one. Even through his boots, Derek could tell that wasn’t an incredibly natural angle.

The few visible hunters nodded to him silently, conceding to his authority in his territory, and vanished back into the darkness of the trees. They weren’t a threat at the moment, but Derek didn’t move until their heartbeats faded away in the distance.

As it was, the hunters straddled the delicate divide between the supernatural forest and the king’s strictly human kingdom and its enforcers. They intercepted guards and turned them back unless they had a very good reason for continuing, vetted supernaturals or humans seeking refuge in the forest, and served as the peacekeepers in the woods. But being human themselves, their lives weren’t at risk, and therefore they could be bought if the right offer came.

They were a necessary evil for those living in the forest, but an evil all the same.

Once they were alone, Derek approached the man cautiously, listening closely for any change in his heartbeat to indicate he was awake and waiting to strike. Derek’s instincts said he was safe and somehow connected to him, but he’d been through too much in his life to trust in that completely. He was an alpha now; he had to put the safety of his pack above his own primal instincts.

But the man didn’t move, didn’t wake, even as Derek was standing over him. His wrists were bound in chains, and between that and the quiet buzz of magic around him and the royal guards chasing him, he’d no doubt been running from the crown.

Welcome to the club, Derek thought as he kneeled down and prodded him firmly in the shoulder with no response. He looked him over for a moment, trying to figure out what he should do with an unconscious man who he couldn’t wake up; magic or not, he couldn’t just bring him back to the pack and let a stranger know where they lived. Especially if he was eventually caught and gave them up to try to ease his sentence.

It happened before, to a number of packs, and did nothing but force even more supernaturals under the thumb of the king to be worked to death or outright killed just for existing.

This man was a threat to their safety. Derek should probably just leave him where he was and let the hunters deal with him.

He stood to leave, but couldn’t quite make himself take a step.

So he knelt back down instead. Studied the man’s face, the delicate curve of his lips, his defined cheekbones from too long on the run, the splatter of moles dotting his cheeks, tracing a path down the back of his neck...

Derek didn’t know what made him hook a finger in the back of the man’s shirt and look underneath—probably the same mystical force that chose a pack’s emissary making sure its plan was realized—but his heart hadn’t stopped pounding ever since.

Matching tattoos, legend said, in the exact same position.

Alpha and emissary.

It was too good to be true, but there was no way anyone from the city could possibly know the latest, slightly thicker Hale crest, let alone where Derek had it tattooed on his back. The crest changed slightly with every generation of alpha, just enough to distinguish one alpha from the next and their predecessors, but Derek hadn’t been to the cities since he was a child. No one could know his crest outside of his immediate pack.

And yet there it was, tattooed permanently between this man’s shoulder blades.

Exactly like Derek’s.

*

Stiles was his emissary.

Derek turned the realization over in his mind a few times, watching silently as Stiles processed the news himself. His heartbeat had picked up in excitement and nervousness, and there’d been some unsurprising back and forth of bullshit, there aren’t any more alphas and you guys were all killed, this is impossible, but now he seemed to be settling into the idea. Mostly.

He was staring at the ceiling and his eyes looked a little wide, but his heart was slowing back down to somewhat normal.

Derek should stop staring, that probably wasn’t helping. He should leave Stiles alone to get his bearings, but he couldn’t make himself go. Stiles was an emissary, and not only that, he was the Hale emissary. Their pack hadn’t had an emissary in decades, since the king took the throne and declared magic illegal, and by extension any being who wasn’t strictly human.

Wolves had managed to lay low for a bit, while beings who couldn’t pass as human were rounded up and disappeared, but it wasn’t long before they started vanishing too—emissaries targeted specifically to weaken their packs. The wolves had no choice but to retreat to the deep forest just past the fringes of the kingdom, and even then, they were only safe there until the king’s guards became brave enough to try to come after them. Or until the hunters broke their truce and turned them over for payment.

Emissaries were all but extinct, as far as Derek knew, and yet he’d found his.

And he had no idea what to say to him.

They’d had their introduction, they knew what they were to each other, and they’d been sitting in silence for what must’ve been at least five solid minutes.

This was wrong. There was supposed to be a script. There was supposed to be a procedure.

Nothing about this meeting was the way it was supposed to be. It was nothing like the formal ceremony described in the old books. Whether or not Derek had an emissary somewhere out in the world, his mother had drilled the rites into his mind, made him memorize the greeting and verbal acceptance of the connection, the vows—but any attempt at instigating them here with Stiles was met with a blank look of confusion and more unease.

And Derek had no idea how to proceed.

“Are you alright?” he finally asked, breaking the silence.

Stiles started a little, but any uncertainty or fear was quickly locked down behind a forced nonchalant shrug. “I’m fine, just, you know, found out I have an alpha and also werewolves are still alive and I almost got sold down the river by my asparagus lady and I’m still…” He raised his arms to indicate the cuffs still locked around his wrists, and the chains rattled gently at the movement. He turned from the ceiling to Derek. “Any chance you can help with these?”

Derek hadn’t taken them off immediately because he wasn’t sure if Stiles was truly an emissary or a fraud, if he posed a threat to the Hale pack, but any doubt flew from his mind the moment they locked eyes. The connection was there, if subdued and hard to feel, and there was no faking that. It was ancient and cosmic, and his mother had confirmed that what he described was true.

Derek nodded and carefully took Stiles’ wrist, looking over the bolt holding the cuff closed. It was thick and tightly screwed in; it wasn’t supposed to be easily removed by anyone in a hurry.

“Whoever put these on was thorough,” Derek said, his voice straining as he tugged at the edge.

Stiles snorted. “Hilda’s full of surprises.”

Derek raised his eyebrows. “Hilda?” Another hard tug that only made his hands tingle from the iron.

“Farmer I used to buy vegetables from in the market.” Stiles winced a little. “Don’t know how she found out.”

Already Derek’s instincts were rankled; he’d barely met his emissary, but the thought of someone betraying him and putting him in danger, trying to sell him away… He couldn’t help the quiet growl at the back of his throat, or the wave of anger that manifested as a rough tug at the metal.

The cuff slipped and Stiles hissed as it knicked into his arm.

“Sorry,” Derek murmured gently, trying to pry the manacle apart at its bolt. The skin underneath was red and raw, irritated from the iron reacting to the magic Stiles had flowing through him.

It took one more hard tug and the right cuff broke open, and the left followed quickly once Derek knew what angle to work it from. He threw the chains to the floor and Stiles relaxed immediately, relieved, but Derek was paying more attention to the suddenly stronger pull between them that the chains had released. Now that it wasn’t suppressed by the iron, it was like a physical tether he could feel; like if he looked hard enough, he’d be able to see it strung between them.

Another hiss of pain drew his attention back to Stiles, who was (stupidly) poking at his wrists.

Derek watched for an incredulous moment before pointedly asking, “Can you heal them?”

He’d always been told that emissaries could heal like their wolves.

Stiles stopped poking his wounds and shook his head. “I don’t know how. My teacher was found before she could teach me.” He gingerly turned his wrist a few times, testing its movements, and winced.

Yet another thing the king had taken from them: the right to pass down their knowledge to each other. At least the Hale pack had mostly stayed together, still had Talia to talk to, ask questions, seek guidance. Derek may be alpha, but he would be nowhere without his mother’s advice along the way. Apparently Stiles didn’t have that in his life; if they had magic like him, his parents had probably been captured or killed long ago.

Derek held out his hand, and after a brief moment of hesitation, Stiles offered his arm again.

“You can heal?” he asked uncertainly.

Derek frowned at him before remembering that just like he’d never met an emissary, Stiles had never met a wolf. He shook his head. “I can take the pain for a while, but it won’t heal any faster.”

“I’ll take it.” Stiles hesitantly smiled, so Derek smiled back a little awkwardly as he focused on drawing away the stinging pain from his wrists and the throbbing in his ankle. They sat in silence through the process, somewhat avoiding eye contact as Derek poured all of his concentration into his task.

Maybe not all of his concentration, but definitely more than strictly necessary. He had no idea what to do in this situation. His mother had never prepared him for a casual and informal emissary meeting.

“I wouldn’t try walking on that for a few days,” he said as he finished, nodding towards the ankle that Stiles seemed to suddenly realize was an issue. He was moving it around under the blankets, watching it with some kind of fascination. He was probably too focused on escape to realize when the injury happened.

“Hope you don’t mind a house guest, then,” Stiles quipped back, clearly aiming for a joke, but looking uncertain at the same time. Like he thought they would kick him out. Derek couldn’t understand why he would.

“You’re our emissary, Stiles. This should be your home.”

Stiles blinked, stared at the wall for a moment, then back at Derek. “You mean...live with you?” He sounded like the concept was so foreign it couldn’t even be translated.

Derek grinned. “Yes, live with us. The pack.”

Another blink, more like a flutter. “You have a pack.”

It would seem as though Derek already broke his emissary just three hours after finding him.

“Yes, I have a pack. They're all very excited to meet our emissary.” He readjusted his careful grip on Stiles’ arm; no longer to draw out pain, but just to hold and reassure. His heart had ticked up again with nerves; it sounded like he could use some reassurance.

“How, um,” Stiles cleared the rasp out of his throat, “how big is your pack? I mean, I’ve never even met a wolf before today and I only learned a fraction of what I was supposed to, so I don’t know how good I’ll be at this, or if I even can be an emissary, and I did just get chained up by a grocer, so I mean, how good can I really—”

With the amount of power he could feel now that the iron chain was away from Stiles, Derek had a hard time believing that the emissary was as much of a novice as he claimed. He couldn’t imagine a novice feeling like this, this rush of static, but if he wanted to downplay his skills, Derek could play along. If this all went according to the old stories, there would be plenty of time for him to prove Stiles wrong.

So he smiled, again aiming for reassuring, and interrupted the spiral of self-doubt. “My mother has books. And remember that we’re both learning. I don’t have any experience with emissaries either.”

Stiles nodded a little, considering, then a glint flashed in his eye. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” He grinned like he was too amused by his own terrible joke and/or defense mechanism.

Derek’s emissary was an idiot.

“How about we get your foot fixed before we do any showing.” He responded to Stiles’ grin with a flat look. “Of any kind.”

Stiles clearly knew at least enough about the legends of alphas and emissaries to know that more often than not, things got...physical. Or maybe he was picking up on things Derek really shouldn’t have been putting down. It was unprofessional. He was an alpha.

But the emissary didn’t care about professional. “Hey, you’re the one who made it weird,” he insisted. “I was just trying to suggest we show our individual abilities to each other so we could get a feel for—”

“Yeah,” Derek interrupted, flatly. “Sure you were.”

Stiles blinked back in offense. “Are you calling me a liar?”

“The first time I saw you, you were wearing chains, and being chased by every kind of authority in the region.” Stiles’ face took on a specific hue of guilt. “Something tells me that wasn’t all the magic.”

The hue of guilt flushed to a general glow of yep, I did it.

“Fine, maybe I enchanted a pepper, but Hilda deserved it.”

Derek raised his eyebrows. “Don’t know how she found out, huh?”

“The dancing pepper could’ve been anyone,” Stiles insisted, even though he clearly didn’t believe it.

Suppressing his smile was harder than Derek was used to, meaning everyone in his life thus far paled in comparison to his emissary. As it should be.

“Sure. How about we stop enchanting produce and focus more on getting you healed?” He dipped his head to the side. “And whatever may come after that.”

There was an unexpected interest in Stiles’ eyes, bordering on a heat that was more challenging than lustful. An interest that Derek hadn’t seen since he became alpha, when suddenly neighboring packs became much more concerned in his title than his personality. 

He couldn’t look away.

“Whatever may come,” Stiles repeated with a smirk.

Derek was done for.

[conartist23]

HEADS UP, I GET A LITTLE WORDY

In the first half of this year, I was invited to contribute to a WicDiv zine that unfortunately fell apart. For these 2 pages, I fulfilled the role of both artist and writer (article and editor notes) (because clearly I’m a low-key control freak)

I don’t usually explain my intentions, and I think it’s fun when there’s something to unpack in creativity. But I’m going to touch on some points, in broad strokes.

So, after the jump, my musings, and a full transcript in case its hard to read (with tumblr resolution it probably will be)

The brief itself dictated it would be an in world magazine, we’d be making articles and art as if the gods were real. As such, I leaned toward merchandise, because that felt tangible and novel.

So, first up, Persephone Perfume. Probably sparked by a loose name connection (which I touch on in the editors notes). Visually, it speaks to an important meta-element of WicDiv, decapitation. Logically, it was a way to work in a likeness, so the product was identifiable, rather than some disconnected motif. Storms and Pomegranates are tied to the myth of her namesake.

Next, the Camden market shoddy reality of the not at all unnerving perfume head. In a rare dalliance with comedy, my mind went to knock-offs. What’s more tragic than a t-shirt adorned by Spider-man, Shrek and Darth Vader with the words Justice League… A failed product. So, rather than be the misguided but honest result of sweatshop labour, it’s a semi legitimate venture. I say semi, not to make you laugh, but because I imagined merchandising from the gods being a licensing nightmare. It didn’t make sense for me, to have the gods be hands on with trinkets, branded mugs etc. So, what started as a product defined by the corporate machine, soon began to unravel, design problems leading them from idealistic proof to unsatisfying reality. So, the pineapple headed, generic featured toby mug from hell, ended up being abandoned, with swathes of it turning up at markets across the uk, in a desperate last ditch attempt to make something. Watch me hardly touch on this pseudo world building in the tiny paragraph I gave myself. More god merch as easter eggs.

Woden graffiti. At the time, his identity was a mystery, and technically, in world, still would be. Not much else to say other than I enjoyed writing the banter, which stemmed from me actually not really knowing what Woden did (cue headfirst dive back into the comics). Rip is written on the wall, because, everyone fucking dies in Wic Div.

Finally, an image of the underground, because it’s London af. Originally, the train lights were more eye like, to dubiously suggest The Morrigan. It’s not really a visual associated with her, couple that with being ridiculously large, I moved against it. Instead, it’s the shadows cast, you can make out the outline of The Morrigan with a crow. I toyed with touching on will o’ the wisps, to further root in folklore, but efficiency of words and all that. I applied homemade filters, messed with the colours, all to push an analogue fuzziness.

My persefumone joke. Says it all really. I am a bad person and I don’t remotely care. Crimes against comedy ☑︎

With all this said, it’s up to you if I’m using the word jaunt legitimately or ironically…

THE TRANSCRIPT

We managed to get our hands on the full page ad of the pretentiously named “Pom”. This proposed persephone perfume, promised perfection it was not permitted to provide. The product ran into a lot of problems, and went dark for a while. But nothing, could save us from that steely gaze that follows you around the room. It’s back, not quite as fresh, in our segment “spotted in the wild”.

Spotted in the Wild

[see left] Discovered at Camden Market this weekend, a fantastic likeness of dear Persephone.

Wait till you get those proofs back before you run the ads eh?

Heads up (I know, I know, I’m so witty), apparently this one contains chemicals unsanctioned by most known governments… that’s adult speak for this shit is poison. Sounds like someone’s been reading the Hades playbook and wants to invite you all for a jaunt in the underworld. Stay clear of this one.

Unless you want to use the head as an ornament… then pour it out and place it on the mantel. Classy.

Everyone’s favourite Woden? Someone’s favourite? Probably? What is it he does exactly? I don’t know… I love my job don’t fire me.

[EDITOR’S NOTE : Woden is a producer, as in he makes. The job is indifferent to you frankly. I, on the other hand, think you’re…. ok. You’re safe. For now. ]

Thank the gods! ;) praying emoji. Tell me, oh benevolent overlord, in your infinite wisdom, is that huginn or munnin?

[EDITOR’S NOTE : Dont. Push. It.]

Another day, another eagle-eyed (or should that be crow uhurr hurr) reader claiming to have photo evidence of the ever elusive Morrigan.

“Evidence”.

Well… at least the potato that captured such classics as 'alien autopsy 56' and 'bigfoot goes on holiday' survives to this day.

Don’t tell them it’s the lights of an oncoming train okay? Leave a little magic in the world will you? For me?

[EDITOR’S NOTE: How did he not make a perfume/Persephone joke. Persefumone. Forgive me. I am deeply sorry.]

I enjoyed what I did, working to an outline, deadlines. I don’t think I’ll be doing a zine in the immediate future, I’m concentrating on my own projects, particularly on ways to avoid, you know, actually doing them.

You read all that? Want a hug? I know, that boy sure does chat shit. He’s gone now, he can’t hurt you anymore.

[timelordinaustralia]

92 Statements

I was tagged by @king-belamy! Thank you! :)

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water.

2. Phone call: work related.

3. Text message: work related.

4. Song you listened to: “Stand By Me” - Ki Theory (love this song, this version was on FTWD, but I have heard it by several artists, mostly the John Lennon version). 

5. Time you cried: IDK.

6. Dated someone twice: Nope.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope.

8. Been cheated on: I’d have to actually be in a relationship haha.

9. Lost someone special: I guess.

10. Been depressed: Probably.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.-14. black, blue, red.

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: if the internet counts haha. made acquaintances irl I guess, but not friends. 

16. Fallen out of love: nope.

17. Laughed until you cried: probably. not for a bit anyways.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: that happens. people always talk about you behind your back whether negative or positive. best to ignore it, unless it is friends saying lies and bs. then they are not friends and you should cast them out. Luckily that last part isn’t relevant to me. 

19. Met someone who changed you: define changed me. you always can learn something from people, and change as a result. even if it is just a student teacher relationship or boss and worker relation shop etc. Depends on what you mean. Like hella changed you heart and soul, then no. But small changes, then yes I guess. But generally no people I have met have made me become a whole different person. 

20. Found out who your friends are: yep. only one left irl I reckon, and maybe a former friend from high school, we talk sometimes and hopefully can reconnect soon. Oh wait, maybe two others, but haven’t talked in ages, so idk. But apart from those four, I’ve just given up with the others as it is just one way, and they obviously don’t give that much of a shit about me to bother to talk to me.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: haha nope. 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. well except one, as it’s someone i met on tumblr, but technically haven’t met in real life. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! (maybe one day)

23. Do you have any pets: yes. my cat. she stunk up the house an hour ago. but i still love her. haha.

24. Do you want to change your name: nope.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I don’t remember. I think I was doing this course thing, and then I tried taking the bus home, but stuff happened, was kind of cheesed off. I did get myself i doughnut I think. Was good. I can’t remember what I did when I got home, but my mood changed, and I was happy again. So whatever I did in the afternoon/evening must have been good. Maybe watched some tv IDK.

26. What time did you wake up: haha, not as early as yesterday or tomorrow as I got to sleep in a bit as I had to go to a meeting about a possible job/traineeship thing (which is good, so I can get out of volunteer stuff and finally have my first paid job thing). My Fitbit says 6:42am, but that wouldn’t be correct, that isn’t when I woke up, but when I checked my phone before I got up. Maybe 6:20amish. But around 6:40 yeah. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: According to my fitbit I fell asleep at 23:59pm so I might have been asleep if the fitbit is correct. So either sleeping or trying to sleep, and just being still so it records as sleeping haha.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: a job, or the xmas special for dr who, but I also don’t want the xmas special as I am not ready for Capaldi to go. But it sounds good. I love multi doctor stories. First Doctor and Twelfth Doctor. Can’t wait, but also DON;T GO!!! haha

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: IDK. 40 minutes ago maybe. She’s gone to bed.

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing rn. 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes. Used to have a couple of “friends” named Tom.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: idk. maybe my brother. he’s already used over half our internet again. All he does is stay home and play video games and try to use up our internet. he slowed it down last month. douche.

34. Most visited website: tumblr or google haha.

35.-37.

38. Hair colour: brown.

39. Long or short hair: short.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no. I mean I get attracted to people, but like, not around them enough to develop crushes. 

41. What do you like about yourself: IDK. My amazing taste in music haha. That is so relevant to me though. Others probs hate some of the stuff I like.

42. Piercings: None.

43. Blood type: I have no idea tbh.

44. Nickname: Don’t really have one, people call me Andy. Or some my surname or a variation of it.

45. Relationship status: single af. really should probs try getting into the dating scene before I get too old. will do someday.

46. Zodiac: Gemini.

47. Pronouns: he/him.

48. Favourite TV show: Doctor Who. But I have loads. If it is whonviverse related, then it is defs a fav though. Torchwood would be my next choice obviously. I love it. I do like the first 2 series more than COE AND Miracle Day. But COE was still fantastic af. 

49. Tattoos: none.

50. Right or left handed: right handed, I use my left hand sometimes and people get confused. But I am right handed. My handwriting sucks, but sucks more in my left as I never learnt to use that hand for writing like I did my right.

51. Surgery: None.

52. Piercing: None.

53. Sport: Just PE stuff. And sports day stuff and all that. I used to be good at high jump. Apparently my teacher had never seen someone just run over the bar. Just scissor kick or back flip (whatever those techniques are called). One of my teachers jokingly asked if I had springs in my feet once. I remember the mat in primary school for the high jump was too small for me and I landed on my but on the other side on the grass haha. Memories. 

55. Vacation: Europe. I want to go on holiday so bad. Even if it is around Australia. But money...

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Not eating aything atm. But chips. They are my weakness. 

58. Drinking: water. it’s healthy. 

59. I’m about to: watch some show before I go to bed early....

61. Waiting for: the world to change. Sorry music reference. 

62. Want: stay up late like I used to and watch my shows. But need to get up early....

63. Get married: If I find my soul mate haha. IDK. Depends. They might really be against marriage. So yeah. Then won’t. And if my partner is not female, but male, then technically atm can’t marry in Australia (yet).

64. Career: Wherever I end up IDK.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs. someone hug me.

66. Lips or eyes: eyes.

67. Shorter or taller: either or. idk.

68. Older or younger: around my age. I need to spend time with more people around my age.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: whatever.

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: idk.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope.

75. Drank hard liquor: probably.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope.

77. Turned someone down: sort of. 

78. Sex on the first date: I don’t think so, think I would like to get to know someone before. 

79. Broken someone’s heart: idk. 

80. Had your heart broken: nope. don’t think so.

81. Been arrested: not yet... haha. jokes. Haven’t been arrested. (too smart for that :P)

82. Cried when someone died: at a funeral I may have had a couple of tears.

83. Fallen for a friend: once. tried to ignore it. glad nothing ever happened they won’t worth it anyways.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: I try.

85. Miracles: No.

86. Love at first sight: I wish.

87. Santa Claus: The basis of the myth, but the Santa Clause, no.

88. Kiss on the first date: Yeah.

89. Angels: Nope.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: N/A well I guess the best friend you have? So not my best friend, but the best friend I have atm? then Dylan. That’s irl though. 

91. Eye colour: Blue Grey

92. Favourite movie: Don’t ask. I have many. I want to say something classic. But let’s just go with 3 random movies I love. Shrek. The School of Rock. X-Men movies (sorry can’t pick, so the franchise).

Tagging: @hugwinchester, @beautifulopportunities, @tigresswraith, @saybiforme, and anyone else who wants to do it.