#sorry Ive just been reflecting on all the small artists that just disappeared

[katyspersonal]

Sometimes I just can't shake the feeling that "the curse of Mico simps mysteriously vanishing" I half-jokingly mentioned earlier is simply a reflection of the issue of Bloodborne fandom both being small(ish) and having many very talented artists.

Out of all fandoms I've been at, Bloodborne is the one where literally nothing is easier than to see extremely skilled artists banging out masterpieces every week and feel kinda.. talentless? Mediocre and not wanted, even, especially if you have a simple or cute/silly art style. The only ways to combat this dread is to get on the good side of "cool popular kids" that distribute majority of likes/reblogs, or to find your own supportive group of friends. With Mico fans it just is harder because for some reason the fanbase of this character has always been kinda disorganized, and he himself tends to attract people with very sensitive, intricate souls hahah. Thinking back on Mico fans that mysteriously vanished from the fandom like goddamn magic that I used to know, they all had severe self-confidence issues...? AND no network of "the same two supportive mutuals". Maybe that's why so many of them just deactivated or never posted again? Maybe feeling "small" as artists was too much?

Again, not only this character, but the example I am most familiar with because unlike other characters, this one fails to create a "core" if you know what I mean? But THE funniest thing? Situation with art in the fandom reflects how Fromsofts games feel themselves...? The sense of being overwhelmed by something much bigger and stronger than you, feeling your self-confidence crashed and wondering how THE fuck are you supposed to overcome this? This is the other side of being in the community full of a little TOO talented people, really. It just can be easy to feel like you are worse than others and not wanted.

Basically, I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you feel like your skill and talent are lower than everyone else's - treat it like being kinda not very good at soulsborne games as a player, and if you feel like you just can't join a group or create your own to get enough engagement and validation - treat it like not being able to online coop for help! How would you continue playing in this situation? Right, you would study the game, keep trying new tools and practice on your own terms and at your own pace! If you feel this kind of dread, do the same: experiment with the style, designs, characters, ideas and so on until you feel so engaged and satisfied that you just can't quit. Until it becomes almost like addiction and finishing your art ideas becomes what keeps you here. Before I've found the same five people that always like my art I've also been feeling like I just don't belong and my art is worse than that of "actually" talented artists here. So I've kept looking for something within my art itself and discovered a passion: both for drawing characters in the way that captures every single detail (no matter how much it torments me lol) and for depicting absurd amount of references for characters in every single state of their life! This is what helped me to not feel so bad about what art skills I lack, this keeps me engaged even if I stop getting notes and compliments at all, this is what makes how good other people's art is irrelevant because it is about my goalposts now, and I am sure other people who don't feel confident can find their own ""playing style"" but in creativity that'll make it fun!

Just don't quit, okay? Like... no matter how much you may feel that "everyone else is more talented or more supported or both", I promise you can find the way. Just like how you didn't understand how to beat these games at first but adapted in the end. EVERYTHING Soulsborne goes back to a theme of having to overcome a really hard challenge, right? Creativity too, and our self-confidence is under constant testing which I honestly do not recall being the case in my previous fandoms??